*sending My Love And Support* Sorry, I Don't Have More, I Spend It On My Cat.

*sending my love and support* Sorry, I don't have more, I spend it on my cat.

It's tough times my folks.

Cuties!

Talks about being intimite... of course my girl Keiko is mentioned, hehe.

TW! Discussion of sex and sexual trauma.

Stages of Closeness (3/4)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 - You're here!

Part 4

Keiko must have thought of him as hopeless, Shion realized. He was so ashamed of how he destroyed her and Saki's moment because he was a disaster. 

His talk with Keiko afterwards only worsened this feeling. He already told Keiko about his former teacher, but he only told her about the first time the man violated him, and didn't even dare to speak up about what his father's friends had done to him. It may seem like he doesn't have trouble speaking up about his traumas, but in actuality, he only tells them a selected few that he's been brave enough to speak about. 

Still, the talk with Keiko left him with things to think about—things he had been burring underneath for a long time now. 

No matter how he felt about it, his body still reacted to stimulants, and obviously he had those kinds of desires like everyone else, the only difference being how scared of them he was. 

It was usually fine, hell just burn it in his mind until it let go, not think about those or just straight up ignore them, but since he met Yuichi... 

He was very ashamed of some thoughts he was having, or how sometimes Yuichi made him feel, since he could not bear to see those in a positive light.

But, what if Yuichi wanted it from him? Expected it at some stage of their relationship? 

Keiko proposed talking it out with Yuichi, but how is he supposed to talk about... THAT?!? 

And what on earth made him actually do it? Probably his love for the coroner.

For everything that Yuichi was to him, he would feel bad if he couldn't provide something that Yuichi would want from him, no matter how scary it was for himself. 

Not to say he was still having his own thoughts and desires concerning his boyfriend, that his body wanted, but his mind was so afraid of. 

Yuichi did want to know everything that went through his mind too, to not keep something that was troubling Shion hidden anymore, even if it'd be difficult to speak about, because he cared for him. So yeah, Shion was going to do it. 

He waited inside Yuichi's room, which became their room instead of just Yuichi's, on the sofa, nervously playing with one of his lighters. 

He was also afraid of Yuichi thinking bad about him, wanting to talk about? What if it'll disgust him? Or what if... 

The doors opened, promoting Shion to jump on his seat. 

Yuichi entered, instantly noticing how tense Shion was. 

" ... Did something happen?"

Shion instantly froze. 

'I can't do it, I can't do it... '

" Shion?"

" Ah, I-it's fine, I'm fine, it's just..."

How is he even going to start this? Does he want to? Oh, how he wishes to disappear right now... 

" You sure? You're all red, you don't have a fever, do you?"

Yuichi asked worried, checking Shion temperature with his hand. 

" Yeah, I'm fine, I just..."

Yuichi nodded for him to continue. 

" I've... Kinda... Well, I have had a talk with Keiko..."

Yuichi sat down right next to Shion

" Alright... About what?"

Shion was red beyond belief. 

" A-about... Sex..."

He said it, he said the world, oh my god, he's going to die. 

" Ym, alright, why did you talk with Keiko about sex?"

It was a bad idea, he fucked up, he should not take the topic, why is it so hot in here all of a sudden?!? 

" I, I was supposed to, to meat up with Keiko, for our usual, you know, and I heard something from her room, and it reminded me of, and I, and Keiko was with Saki, and she explained how she wasn't hurting Keiko, instead they were doing it 'cause they wanted to, and I, I can't, that was a disaster, I'm such a disgrace it was awful, I wanted to help her, instead I destroyed it and embarrassed myself so much I-"

Shion blabbered through everything that happened, as fast as he could, becoming even redder than before, looking everywhere but Yuichi. 

The coroner only took Shion's hand in his, prompting the red head to look at him. 

Purple irises were full of fear. Yuichi took a deep breath, preparing himself for a very long talk. 

" It's okay, could happen to anyone, don't worry about it, okay?"

Shion nodded very fast, closing his eyes to stop tears from falling. 

" So, I'm assuming Keiko was simply explaining that sex is not always bad for you, am I right?"

" Yeah, basically... She also said that it's not her place for having this talk with me and that I should probably tell you about my struggles with... these things."

Some building up stress left Yuichi now - he didn't really liked the idea of Shion having this sort of conversations with someone else. He understood and was thankful for how Keiko reacted now, but it didn't help a tiny bit of raising overprotective and jealousy rising inside of him. 

Now for the difficult task left here for him. 

" So, what kind of struggles?"

Shion went quiet here for a second. 

" I, it's not a problem with it being pleasurable for some, I do get it. I just started to wonder if... if you..."

He finally looked up to Yuichi, still as red as a tomato. 

Oh. It now clicked why Shion was so on edge.

"B-because if you do, I mean, I don't want to limit you just because, em, I think I could if you do want it from me, you know..."

" Hey, hey, Shion, slow down."

Yuichi moved one of his hands to cup Shion cheek, and crossed it a few times with his thumb, picking up a few tears that left Shion's eyes. 

" It'll only be alright to do, if the both of us enjoy this, you know?"

He tucked a strand of red hair behind Shion's ear. 

" No matter how much I would want you in that way, I could never do it if it'd make you uncomfortable in any way, Shion. And we can do it, but only if you wish to."

Shion let his head down, still tensed. 

" I, there is a part of me that... I want to try, if it could really be something more to share between the two of us, but..."

He looked back at Yuichi with watery eyes. 

" I'm scared."

Shion brought his knees to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them

" I have these thoughts and feelings, that I, on the one hand, can't bear, and yet there is something in it that... But I still, if I were to think about doing it, I remember all those other times..."

Yuichi hugged Shion as he started crying and trembling all over. 

" Shhh... I am here, dear... And I would never hurt you... It's okay..."

So cute. <3

Stages of Closeness (2/4)

Part 1

Part 2 - You're here!

Part 3

Part 4

Yuichi was assigned some actual job by the future foundation, unlike his peers, who were just kept in their base to try and not cause trouble for now. 

He came in his apartment late that night, left some papers on the table and went directly to the bedroom side where someone was already fast asleep on his bed. 

Since their little talk a few weeks ago, Shion finally started accepting himself as someone with value, at least to his beloved. He also grew much more comfortable with him, always being somewhere close if Yuichi wasn't busy with work for the future foundation, snuggling into him or, just like today, sneaking into his room and sleeping here. He actually preferred Yuichi's room to his own, where he almost never stayed anymore. Yuichi suspected he felt too alone there, and being here reminded him that he has someone who loves him now. 

Yuichi smiled and bent over to place a small kiss on the boy's cheek. 

" Mmmhm... ? "

And it looks like Shion wasn't so sound asleep as Yuichi had thought. 

" Sorry, did I wake you?"

Shion lifted himself up, looking at him slightly disoriented, which Yuichi fought very adorable, until the red head touched his previously kissed cheek with his freshly wrapped in bandages hand. 

The blonde took his injured hand in his own. 

" Deva did that?"

Shion nodded slowly, and in response, Yuichi kissed the back of his hand, not minding the bandages wrapping it tightly. 

Shion leaned into Yuichi still keeping his eyes on his lover's face. 

" It's nothing, just deva slammed my hand with a door. He said he didn't realize it was there, but you know."

Yuichi couldn't resist and cupped the smaller boy's face into his hands and placed a kiss on his forehead. 

" You know this is also way different... - he started, leaning his head on Yuichi's shoulder. - The kissing. I like how gentle you are with them..."

Yuichi started playing with Shion's soft hair. 

" Would you like it if I kissed you properly?"

" Properly?"

" On the lips? Or will it trigger something? I've been actually thinking about it for some time..."

Shion hummed before answering in a soft, if not a bit tired, voice. 

" I think it'll be fine. Never been kissed there, and if it's you..."

" May I?"

Shion straightened up, looking at him expectantly. Yuichi placed his palm on his cheek and slowly leaned in. Shion closed his eyes, and Yuichi thought he could catch how his breath slightly shuddered, but he didn't back out, so Yuichi went on it. 

It was short and soft, and when Yuichi broke it, Shion leaned forward for a second, chasing the kiss. He then backed out and covered his lips with the palm of his hand, blush creeping on his cheeks. He then averted his gaze and went back to Yuichi kissing him himself, but only briefly. 

" I like it" he finally said - both ways. I haven't expected it to be so... Soft, but it's nice."

He smiled warmly, just like a cozy bonfire. 

" I see. I must start doing it more often than I guess."

Rainbow butterflies. <3

😒🔪🐈‍⬛

Bechalor in week, art on Tumblr in month?

The semester at uni is nearing it's end, so it's time for some serious work...

DRAWS BOOTHILL INSTEAD OF DUING HIS BECHALOR WORK