She's So HSDGEJ

She's so HSDGEJ

texts w mom ellie and reader ☺️

maybe reader is away and ellie is home w the baby but ellie doesnt know how to calm the crying baby down

so she texts reader for help 🤷🏽‍♀️

fluffy mom!ellie texts coming up! sorry this took a second, these were fun tho.. (blurred image for imagination/filler purposes)

Everyone's hyping up Chappell Roan which is great, but yall are sleeping on these other underrated lesbian artists:

Ver a young Miko llorar en su performance de "no quiero pelear" rompió algo dentro mio

(seeing young Miko cry in her performance of "no quiero pelear" broke smth inside me)

Guys hear me out... rockstar!Ellie x pregnant!reader🙏🙏🙏

(I don't know how to write someone steal my idea please)

after countless rounds of swing dancing at the community center dance, you were finally ready to call it a night. ellie, your girlfriend, seemed to have the same idea—though for different reasons.

while you were having the time of your life on the dance floor, ellie mostly stayed put as a wallflower, content to just watch. she wasn’t a huge fan of dances anyway, going just for you and close friends. she occupied herself by fiddling with her old flannel, drinking, and a bit of socializing, but her green eyes rarely strayed from you.

as the night wore on and drinks flowed, the way your body moved became increasingly tantalizing, and ellie longed to have you all to herself. so, as soon as you leaned against the bar counter, a buzzed and unusually bold ellie pounced. nuzzling your neck and pressing tender kisses along your skin, her voice turned low and sultry as she whispered, “you look so fuckin’ pretty. mm, can’t wait to get you alone.”

though loving the sensation of her lips on you, you were feeling playful, so you gently pushed her away and said, “you know, i think you’re going to have to work harder than that to take me home tonight.”

an already needy ellie shot you a puzzled look. “excuse me?”

you grinned suggestively, “i want you to try and pick me up. like we aren’t already together.”

ellie pouted for a moment, not fully understanding the game but deciding to play along for the hell of it. she leaned against the counter with her drink in hand, looking your figure up and down, acting as if you were strangers. “so… come here often?”

you rolled your eyes. “try again.”

“did it hurt when you fell from heaven—” “yes it did. try again.”

“you. me. my bed. 15 minutes?” “not a chance.”

you made her attempt a few more cheesy lines, but ellie wasn’t known for her patience. the desire in her gaze and the flush on her freckled face from the liquor did more for you than the lines. you felt yourself getting just as flustered.

ellie drew nearer, her breath hot against your ear. “babe, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. but you’re also a tease. can i take you home before i tear off your clothes right here?”

wanting her just as much, you caved, leaning against her shoulder. “jesus, els. you’re lucky you’re cute.”

ellie beamed, ready to whisk you away from the dance. “i promise to practice my pickup skills with you tomorrow. for now, i just need you.”

︎ ︎︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ⚢ normalcy ⚢

a/n: a little ramble before i finish writing my longer fic, click link for the long and context. cw: cheating, mental health struggles.... i haven't written a full thing like this in weeks so pls be kind 🪽

ex!ellie who was your first love. after spending your adolescence contemplating your sexuality — the sight of her erased any contemplation that existed.

ex!ellie who you dated all throughout highschool, the first girl you ever introduced to your mother, coming out to her in the process.

ex!ellie who treated you like an angel in the beginning, spending nearly every day with you, constantly showering you in adoration.

ex!ellie who you shared a dorm with in college, strengthening ur relationship for a few months until things suddenly fell apart

ex!ellie who introduced you to her new classmates, inviting you to every party she went to. you, who denied most of the time.

ex!ellie who you argued with about said parties over a hundred times. begging her to stay inside with you for one night, and to focus on her studies. ellie, denying and telling you it wasn't a big deal.

ex!ellie who spends the night in another girls dorm after the argument. her behaviour shifting faster than you could keep up with. laying alone that night, you couldn't manage the horrible feelings your brain brought apon you. your heart sank, making it impossible to fall asleep.

ex!ellie who didn't mention that night going forward. she didn't apologize for being mean like she always did after a fight. her cold demeanour sent you into a state of insanity — you couldn't understand how you were losing her so fast.

ex!ellie who you don't speak to for days on end. you've never fought like this before — at least not without cracking within few hours, let alone a day. not speaking was crushing you inside, but the shift in her behaviour and the thought of her layed up next to a random girl she met the same night — over you, her highschool sweetheart, broke you harder than anything.

ex!ellie who confirmed your worries. mindlessly scrolling through her phone as she slept in your dorm, on her side of the beds you had pushed together — it didn't talk long for you to come across messages that sent knives through every bone in your body. how could she do this? over one argument? was she getting bored?, a million questions ran through your head as you layed back on your side. you couldn't cry despite how bad your heart wanted to. tears were already wasted on days worth of confusion and frustration, this, only gave your mind the testimony it required.

ex!ellie who you continued to give the silent treatment as you moved out of the shared dorm. putting in a request with your college the same week you saw the messages, it was accepted with quick availability — just what you needed. ellie, attempting to message you and call you for days, apologizing, confessing, and begging you to come back. but it was no use, you couldn't face her. she was everything you ever wanted, but the horror filled ideas you had for years of her ever being with someone else had became reality, and it ripped you to shreds.

ex!ellie who left you distraught. if it wasn't for dina and jesse being there for you — who knows how bad it would've gotten. for nights on end you'd cry yourself to sleep as your fingers called out to her — but there was no one there. no one to hold, no one to kiss, no more ellie — and for a while, you were hopeless. everything you did, everything you thought about, was surrounded by the image of her. despite ignoring her, despite cutting her off, despite merging back into society normally with the guidence of your best friends, ellie was always in the back of your head, always coming into thought somehow.

ex!ellie who moved to boston after graduation, with regret filling her soul. that was though, what you thought to be, the end of it. you had grown up together, had every first milestone and event shared with one another. but just like that, it was over. and while you thought you could move on, she could never let you be.

ex!ellie who never left you alone in her head. moving away didn't mean she forgot about you — in fact, she thought of you more than ever before. stalking your social media's, constantly asking dina for updates, desperate for an ounce of you. she felt brainless. a night of reckless fun, cost her the girl she dreamt of marrying. was it really worth it? was a taste of something new really what she wanted? was she that strived in the moment? or was she just angry?

ex!ellie who begs dina to let her speak to you every time d comes to visit. dina, who typically refuses to even tell you that ellie is still thinking of you after these years. she doesn't want you to hurt again, not while you've grown so much and healed. but on the other hand, seeing ellie so desperate, breaks her heart. it's a hard decision to make, but she gives into ellie's protests leisurely, subtly trying to remind you of the college days — praying you'll bring her up. and when you don't? she loses her mind, blurting out whatever she can about ellie and her wishes once given the chance.

ex!ellie who is beyond shocked when dina tells her that you agreed to speak to her. though not in person, talking to you over the phone was better than anything she could have ever imagined.

ex!ellie who slowly withers her way back into your life. with one awkward phone call and long story apologies being the start of it all. after exchanging recaps of your recent years spent apart, you can't help but become venerable. your body still ached for her, there were so many questions you needed answers to — and ellie was desperate to answer, desperate to make up for the damage she caused.

ex!ellie who you ghost once in a while. not answering her calls or texts, relapsing into the silent treatment that was once normal between you too. you told her that speaking so often wasn't good, you didn't want to rush back into any friendship between you two, any relationship, and she couldn't complain.

ex!ellie who you couldn't stay away from. it felt pathetic, you had stayed away from her for years yet now that you were speaking again — you struggled to ghost her even for a day. as much as you wanted to be angry at her for calling and thinking everything would just go back to normal once she apologized again — you couldn't be mad... you wanted to forgive her, everything in your body forgave her. there was no more hatred, no more disgust.. your love for her was dateless. and it had regrown just as you prayed it didn't.

ex!ellie who you visited in boston after months of talking on the phone. with as much courage as it took, you gave into her so naturally. you questioned her, yourself, and the forgiveness you had granted her. but seeing her in person, feeling her skin against yours for the first time in years — pervaded your heart with nostalgia that was almost sickening. she was supposed to be your girl, and you were supposed to be hers, was it really all time wasted?

ex!ellie who tries her hardest to make it up to you, who comes clean about the kids she shared with another girl that night after your argument. though she had admitted to her infidelity once before — face to face, she detailed what had happened. knowing it was nothing more than a kiss, gave you a sense of closure that caused tears as she spoke. did she really give you up over a kiss? you asked yourself a million times, and ellie, asked the exact same thing.

ex!ellie who understands things will never be the same as she lives with the guilt of breaking apart years worth of your relationship. though you've began allowing her into your life again slowly, she can't help but ponder where you could have been if this mess didn't happen. if you weren't tied to her so desperately, if you never forgave her and moved onto another women, maybe you'd be married now — with your body never craving the desire to say her name. or maybe, if she had apologized that night, if she had came back to you, maybe you'd be the ones tying the knot. maybe you would've moved to boston with her. the possibilities of "what could've been" send her over the edge every once in a while. your days in boston slowly brought back the strong feelings she had for you, if they had ever disappeared in the first place. she caught herself doing things she would've did back then — gently caressing your face, fighting the urge to kiss your finger tips as your hand was placed so perfectly just inches away from hers. everything felt so natural, it was almost painful for her to stop herself... you two were connected, through skin and through minds, your hearts longed for eachother. you're so close, yet so far away — terrified to get attached to her again, terrified to love the girl that taught you what love meant.

a/n (again): not editing this sorry, just listening to that song and wanted to write what i felt uhmm kinda shitty but oh well lols!