Ryedventure - CozUrye - Tumblr Blog

controversial opinion but unfortunately you are your actions and what you say. if you are mean to people, it doesn’t matter if you sometimes have secret kind thoughts. fortunately you are your actions and what you say. if you are kind in your actions and your words, it doesn’t matter if you sometimes have mean thoughts. the power is in working against inner negative thoughts and being a better person despite it. you have the ability to cultivate the person you want to be.

umm i need reassurance that my presence is wanted but i can’t ask for reassurance because that’s really Embarrassing and it wouldn’t feel genuine if i asked for it

Dear mind, stop thinking too much. I need sleep.

"Mother is a verb. It's something you do. Not just who you are." 

“I heard an airplane passing overhead. I wished I was on it.”

— Charles Bukowski

I get in these moods where I just be over everyone. Including myself.

“Loving someone is giving them the power to hurt you, but trusting them not to.”

— Tommy Brown (Criminal Minds)

If my girl overthinks I’m over explaining and reassuring idgaf

“Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future.”

— dale turner

Remember the guy i used to love?

Now, read it again.

The thing is we can identify the problem but not the solution to fix it

The thing is we can identify the problem but not the solution to fix it

Sometimes you just have to stay silent because no words can explain what’s going on in your heart and mind.

Unknown

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“I owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with what I didn’t deserve.”

— Unknown

The scary part is I knew exactly how bad you were for me and yet that didn’t stop me from loving you.

— Samantha King, Born to Love, Cursed to Feel

“When I accept myself I am free from the burden of needing you to accept me.” - Steve Maraboli

I am no longer enjoying my life

Neither, living the life that I’ve always wanted.

I missed the old version of me

But tbh

I am loving this new and better version of me.

I know

I have to walk and endure

The pain of walking alone

Climbing stairs with no railings and assurance that i wont fall

Don’t worry.

I can do this

What love looks like

I’ve had to learn and relearn

How to recognize love

Because I was taught that love is violence

That love is contempt, manipulation, shame & subservience

Call it daddy issues

But I call it generational trauma

Call me a problem child

But I call it child abuse

When you teach a child to yield

The lesson never leaves them

.

I loved someone once

Who wanted more of me & my body

Than I was willing to give

I gave because that’s what I knew, to yield

It took me longer than it should of to understand

This is not what love looks like

.

I learned not to cry out for help

I learned that trust makes me a pawn

I learned that safety can only be achieved through isolation

But even then

Some days I can’t even look myself in the face

Because she is not someone I trust

Not someone with my best interest at heart

She has put me in harms way again and again

.

To stay tender in this world seems unimaginable

I wish kindness came to me honestly

Instead, I have to relearn it almost daily

From friends I am endlessly thankful for

Who have loved me despite my faults

I hope one day I can be softer & unafraid to be vulnerable

I want to be able to know with certainty

Without second guessing myself

I hope to be able to say

This is what love looks like.

I can no longer endure the pain that I’ve used to sleep with.