
hello i have no life and i use humour to cope with my anxiety and depression. also most of the ship stuff i post is crack so you might want to remember that before being salty about it aha
47 posts
Harry Potter Books As Clickbait Titles Except That It's Actually True
harry potter books as clickbait titles except that it's actually true
philosophers stone: 'I'M A WIHAT? STORYTIME: Got sent to a WIZARD SCHOOL and KILLED a teacher!'
chamber of secrets: 'THE HEIR OF WHAT? STORYTIME: My best friend got petrified so I went down a toilet to kill a SNAKE and a HANDSOME BOY?'
prisoner of azkaban: 'HE WAS THEIR FRIEND! STORYTIME: My teacher is a WEREWOLF?? A murderer that escaped from prison claims to be my GODFATHER!'
goblet of fire: 'I DIDN'T PUT MY NAME IN THAT CUP OK? STORYTIME: Got put in a DEADLY TOURNAMENT! (BI AWAKENING) VOLDEMORT IS BACK AND HE KILLED MY CRUSH! (EMOTIONAL)'
order of the phoenix: 'NEW PRINCIPLE? STORYTIME: Dumbledore wouldn't talk to me! NEW PRINCIPLE MADE A LOCKDOWN?? My GODFATHER is DEAD! (EMOTIONAL)'
half blood prince: 'I TOLD YOU HE'S A DEATH EATER MIONE! STORYTIME: Draco Malfoy was CRYING IN THE BATHROOM so I almost KILLED HIM! HORCRUX HUNTING WITH DUMBLEDORE(HE DIED!!!)'
deathly hallows (pt.1 cuz its too long): 'DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL! STORYTIME: Searching for horcruxes! I stole DRACO MALFOY'S WAND?? IT WORKS PERFECT WTF! Dobby is DEAD! (EMOTIONAL)'
deathly hallows (pt.2): 'BROKE INTO A BANK! STORYTIME: Freed a BLIND DRAGON and sneaked into HOGWARTS! (STARTED A WAR) Saved MALFOY from the FIENDFYRE! EVERYONE STOP FUCKING DYING! (Snape is ACTUALLY GOOD) KILLED TOM WITH AN 'EXPELLIARMUS'! (VERY EMOTIONAL)
cursed child: 'MIONE WHY DIDN'T YOU DESTROY THAT DAMN TIME TURNER! STORYTIME: Voldemort has a DAUGHTER? DRACO'S child and MY CHILD are BEST FRIENDS??? They travel in TIME! Almost died (AGAIN)'
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More Posts from Sir-roonil-wazlib
Shit Slytherins Say
Nottgrass, Dransy
Non-magical, college, texting AU
For my wife @daphnegreengrass
ao3
Pansy to fuck bitches get money: What in the name of merlin did I do last night
Astoria to fuck bitches get money: Honey what didn’t u do
Pansy to fuck bitches get money: Someone pls enlighten me, all my shoes r in the shoer
Pansy to fuck bitches get money: *shower
Pansy to fuck bitches get money: I need to wash my hair but
Pansy to fuck bitches get money: I cannot move them
Daphne to fuck bitches get money: lmaoo u pushed draco into the pond
Daphne to fuck bitches get money: Hes super pissed at u
Pansy to fuck bitches get money: Whoops lmao is that why I facetimed him at 5am
Pansy to fuck bitches get money: Lil bitch didn’t answer
Millie to fuck bitches get money: He texted me at 7 that he found a small fish in his ear
Millie to fuck bitches get money: I’m p sure he was lying
Millie to fuck bitches get money: But the point stands that he is very mad at u
Keep reading
sometimes im happy and then i remember that nymphadora tonks is dead
then i remember that ted tonks is dead too
then i remember that andromeda lost the love of her life and her only child
andromeda tonks is so underrated
she gave up her whole life and left the most prestigious household to marry a muggleborn that she loved so much
she didnt care about pureblood rules anymore
she made her own choice
she had a happy life
but then the only left evidence of her family was her grandson teddy
andromeda is such a strong woman
pansy: uh oh! the printer messed up the invitation! it was supposed to say 'draco's birthday'!
harry: what does it say?
theo: draco's gay
draco: how does one miswrite that?
ron and hermione: it's the truth






when you’re a teenager and suddenly a bunch of terrorists are using your house as a headquarters for terrorist activities
harry, barging into draco's compartment: WHAT
draco:
harry: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING
draco: potter wha-
harry: this CAN'T BE REAL
draco:
harry: DID YOU FORGET TO BARGE IN MY COMPARTMENT LIKE YOU DO EVERY YEAR OR WAS IT SUPPOSED TO BE ME THIS TIME
pansy: he has a point you know