Paul:Why Should I Apologize?

Paul: Why should I apologize?

Marko: I'll tell you why. Because you're nothing but a backstabbing Judas with sensible shoes!

Paul: Oh, yeah, well you know what you are? You're a two-lira tramp with cheap bridgework!

Marko:  May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off!

Paul: May your legs have grown old and gnarled and withered like an olive branch! You should be so lucky.

Marko: May your moles grow hair thicker than Jerry Vale's!

Paul: May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!

Marko: (Gasps)That's it! Come back here and say that to my face!

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𓇼𓈒 The lost boys Incorrect Quotes

Paul: I'm so hungry right now.

Dwayne: Let's get some burgers 'n fries.

Marko: I was thinking we could change for a day and eat some pizza.

David: What about chin-

Y/n: The one who win the game gets to choose *holding a card set*

{30 minutes later}

Dwayne: YEAAAAAAH! TAKE THAT LOSERS!

Marko: Awn come on man.

David: I- I lost?! But I was this close to winning 🤏🏻

Paul: Can we just go? I'm starving!

Y/n: I'm with Paul, let's just go and grab some food.

Part 3 of 9: Letters G through I

[Poly!Lost Boys x Female!Reader]

[Summary] Part 3 (Letters G through I) of the Lost Boys Yandere Alphabet co-written by @that-girl-who-writes-sometimes and inspired by my Modern!AU headcanons.

The boys’ feelings for you are not a game. They love hard, and it’s not something they take lightly. If they promise you forever, they mean it, and there’s no going back. Escape attempts are not appreciated it. Why would you ever want to leave them? They spoil you, for God’s sake, but if you want to play hide-and-seek, they don’t mind entertaining your little game. They are vampires, after all; they love the chase. 

David

David finds your escape attempts hilarious. He knows what you’re about to do before you even do it. He can read your mind, hello? But out of sheer boredom, he may let you wander. You’re always within arm’s reach. He can snap you up, and have you trapped in a tight snare within moments, and there’s nothing you can do about it but beg for forgiveness because you WILL regret your actions. David will always be 20 steps ahead of you. You’ll never be able to hide from him. He’ll follow you to the ends of the earth if he has to.

Dwayne

Dwayne LOVES you and wants to keep you safe. You are Laddie’s mother! He can’t have you running around Santa Carla unattended. You need a chaperone! He won't be far behind if you run or attempt to escape. Strolling casually, he will be hot on your heels, calmly waiting for you to tire yourself out. When you are too exhausted to carry on after you've run your little heart out, you will find yourself in his arms before he takes flight and returns you to the cave.

Paul

Paul is shocked that you want to escape. Don’t you like it here, babe? We have everything you’ll ever need! WAIT, I know! You’re just tired. Here, take these! Like the others, one of Paul’s biggest fears is to wake up and find you gone. That happened once in ‘87, and he and the boys have taken precautions so it will never happen again. How can you escape if you’re unconscious? 🤷 Two five-finger discounts later, he’s got exactly what you need for a good day's sleep! A little Benadryl here, some Vodka there, and you won’t be waking up until nightfall. You’ll always be where they left you when they retire at sunrise. 

Marko

Marko is displeased that you want to leave him. In fact, he’s quite insulted. You’re a bad girl. You know your place is with him and the boys. Where do you think you’re going? You have to the count of three to get back here. Oh! You want to play? Fine. Let’s play Little Red Riding Hood! You can be Red, and I’ll be the Big Bad Wolf! 😈 You’d better run, little Red, because the Big Bad Wolf is coming, and when I catch you, you’ll be punished. When Marko catches you, you won’t have the desire to run for a while. A nice cut from his clawed hand on the sole of your foot or a visit to the 'toy room' will make sure of that, and you’ll think twice in the future before leaving his side. 

Besides forcing you to turn, watching the boys consume your life will be your worst experience. The boys are ravenous and insatiable. Their bloodlust and appetite for destruction know no bounds, and they are intensely possessive. 

Do you love your job? You do? Well, too bad. The boys visit you one night during your shift, and the register falls short. You swear you didn’t do it, but your supervisor won’t hear it. You’ve just been fired. It doesn’t matter, however, because the boys are more than happy to take care of you. 

You and your best friend have known each other for about 15 years? Really? That’s impressive for a human. Too bad you two won’t make it to 16 years. After some perfectly planted seeds by David, you two have a volatile argument. It nearly comes to blows. After that, your friendship is damaged beyond repair. It doesn’t matter, however, because their companionship is all you need.

Are you close to your family? You are? Well, I’m sorry you have to plan so many funerals. The boys will devour every last person you love, down to your mother. They may spare her if you beg hard enough, or they’ll save her for when you turn. That way, your first meal is secured. 

When they move to dismantle your life, you will be oblivious to their devious manipulations. It will be too late by the time you realize what’s happening. The boys will already have you in their clutches. You will be friendless, unemployed, and orphaned, and all you’ll be able to do is mourn the life you once had.

David 

David’s lust for power and control is never satiated. He adores when people tremble in his presence and never hesitates to flaunt his immortal power. David always gets what he wants and wants YOU – mind, body, and soul for eternity. He and the boys will turn you, and you will terrorize Santa Carla by their side. Don’t get him wrong; he truly loves you but loves the idea of owning you a little bit more. 

Dwayne

Dwayne is a hopeless romantic to the core. Yes, he’s a bad boy and rough around the edges, but he knows how to woo a girl. The cave hasn’t had a woman’s touch for 35 years, and he and the boys felt the need to change that. At first, they only saw you as a meal, but David sniffed out your potential. After getting to know you, he knew you were an excellent candidate to be Laddie’s mother. Laddie was devastated when he and the boys had to dispatch Star. He’s cared for him well since, but “boys need a mother.” He hates saying it, but that was the only thing Max was right about. 

Paul 

Bomb-ass sex and cuddles for eternity for $600, Alex! You’re fine as shit; he cares for you deeply and wants you under him until the end of time. What else could he possibly want?

Marko

Our little Marko is the living embodiment of Marquis de Sade – an angel on the surface but a demon beneath. He’s a fun-loving guy, but sadism fuels him. And what’s a Sadist without a Masochist? He loves you, but he ADORES hurting you. You like to play coy, but he knows you love the pain he inflicts. After a regimen of training, you’ll be his little obedient pain slut, writhing underneath him in ecstasy.

Long story short, when the boys are finished training you, you’ll be the perfect vampire – primed to tend to their every need. 

Taglist:

@6lostgirl6 @misslavenderlady @britany1997

[A/N] I hope you enjoyed this! I decided to drop it a little early because you guys were so patient over the weekend when I didn't get a chance to update. Let me know if you're interested in being added to the tag list. Likes, comments, and reblogs encourage me to keep writing.

💙 - Ghoulgeous Immaculate