Springddays:

springddays​:

as   he   waited,   he   thought   about   the   text   he   received,   the   one   that   had   brought   him   here   in   the   first   place.   words   twisting   in   his   heart   and   causing   him   to   break   out   in   a   sweat   in   the   middle   of   the   night,   the   thin   fabric   of   his   shirt   sticking   to   his   skin.   that   feeling   was   still   rooted   deep,   even   more   so   after   coming   face-to-face   with   junghyun.   legs   spread,   seated   on   the   couch,   he   pulled   out   his   phone,   light   illuminating   his   face.   conversation   still   open,   hyeon   gnawed   on   his   bottom   lip,   a   fresh   knife   carving   a   wound   into   his   already-worried   soul,   stomach   squeezing   and   flipping   in   fear.   something   was   amiss   and   while   he   understood   there   had   been   no   ill   intentions   between   either   party,   it   didn’t   defuse   how   he   felt,   it   didn’t   take   away   the   burning   emotion   that   something   was   very   very   wrong.   the   question   brought   him   out   of   his   mind,   phone   back   in   his   pocket   as   he   took   the   steaming   mug   from   junghyun.   “i’m   fine.   i   was   fine   until   i   woke   up   to   your   text.”   his   skin   welcomed   the   heat,   scent   of   fresh   tea   wafting   up   into   his   nose.   “only   okay   if   you   are.   if   it   was   a   bad   dream,   you   can   trust   me   with   it.   they   say   it’s   better   to   let   things   out,   even   a   nightmare,   than   bottle   it   in.”

the   comment   made   nearly   causes   them   to   drop   their   mug,   the   burning   from   it   scalds   their   hands,   and   though   this   would   normally   hurt,   junghyun’s   anxiety   takes   place   of   it.   setting   down   the   mug,   he   stirs   at   it   nervously,   body   closing   in   on   himself,   an   attempt   to   make   himself   smaller,   more   protected.   he’s   forgotten   how   direct   hyeon   can   be,   and   how   he   won’t   let   things   just   go.   part   of   him   wants   to   spill   his   guts   to   the   other,   but   anytime   that   he   has,   whether   it   be   a   family   member   or   a   friend,   it’s   not   ended   well.   there   wasn’t   room   for   any   lovers,   though   they   know   they’d   shut   them   out   as   well.   ‘   i   didn’t   mean   to   upset   you,   i’m   truly   sorry,   i   have   very   vivid   dreams   and   sometimes   .   .   .   ’   he’s   not   even   gotten   to   the   pit   of   his   problems,   or   fears   ;   while   he’s   this   upset   and   already,   junghyun   begins   to   cry.   silently,   thankful   for   the   darkness   of   the   hour.   ‘   sometimes   they   vivid   enough   that   i   can’t   decipher   what’s   real   and   what’s   not.   ’   hands   grab   themselves,   lacing   fingers   of   his   own   that   now   rest   in   their   lap.   at   first   he   tries   eye   contact,   but   it’s   far   too   much   so   he   look   away,   out   into   the   span   of   the   living   area.   ‘   i   keep   having   this   recurring   nightmare,   where   i’m   in   a   dark   room.   possible   a   stage?   i   don’t   know.   i   can   hear   water   dripping   .   .   .   ’   as   if   on   cue,   he   hears   the   running   of   his   sink.   a   small   shudder   leaves   his   body.   ‘   there’s   a   small   crowd,   but   they   surround   me   to   the   point   of   suffocation.   sometimes   i’m   sleeping,   sometimes   i   just   stand   there   and   cry.   most   times   i’m   .   .   .   dancing,   ’   this   part   is   particularly   rough   for   him   to   speak   out   loud,   but   he’s   gotten   this   far   and   he   knows   he   can’t   stop.   it   pours   out   of   him,   just   as   like   his   tears.   ‘   the   crowd   is   pleased,   at   first.   they   cheer   me   on.   but   something   changes   halfway   through,   their   faces   .   .   .   slowly   become   almost   non-human.   they   scream,   reach   out   to   grab   me   and   the   room   gets   smaller,   and   smaller,   i   can’t   breathe   and   i   don’t   move,   ’   junghyun’s   body   is   shaking,   so   much   so   that   it   pulls   him   from   his   trance.   without   warning   and   without   thinking,   he   runs   over   to   hyeon   and   buries   his   face   into   their   chest,   a   loud,   shrieking   cry   fills   the   air   between   them   and   he   can’t   stop.

🌸✨

lilacwaterlite​:

‘  the only thing i learned from my mother was how to either fuck people or fuck them over to get what i want.  ‘

@cigzaftrsex​.

‘   right,   yeah.   what’s   that   got   to   do   with   me?   ’   a   look   of   confusion   washes   over   their   face,   brow   raising.   

springddays​:

he   noticed   junghyun’s   hesitation,   he   wasn’t   blind   to   it.   it   was   written   all   over   the   text   that   had   given   him   a   severe   case   of   palpitations   in   his   chest.   but   he   didn’t   push   anything.   that   wasn’t   the   way   to   go   and   he   knew   that.   wanting   to   be   respectful,   hyeon   pressed   his   lips   together   and   lowered   his   gaze   for   a   moment,   looking   back   up   when   junghyun   spoke.   “it’s   okay.   put   the   kettle   on   and   i’ll   make   myself   at   home.   but   remember.   .  .   ”   he   placed   his   hand   on   his   shoulder,   a   metaphor   of   reaching   out   in   a   matter   of   care   and   concern.   gentle   and   sincere,   hyeon   allowed   himself   to   pull   back   from   asking   any   more   questions.   but   inside,   shards   of   glass   cut   at   him,   in   the   desire   to   know   what   was   bothering   the   man   before   him.   even   if   it   was   work,   he   wished   to   discover   what   lay   beneath   cracked   words.   “remember,   i   am   here   for   you.   if   you   need   someone   to   talk   to,   or   for   someone   to   simply   listen,   i’ll   be   that   ear.   ”   an   expression   of   softness   washed   over   his   face,   fingers   gripping   junghyun   a   bit   tighter,   a   squeeze   of   reassurance.   a   moment   of   tenderness.   he   hoped   it   would   come   across   in   that   way.

the   moment   he   felt   hyeon’s   hand   on   his   shoulder,   he   nearly   burst   into   tears.   it   had   been   quite   a   bit   of   time   since   he   had   been   touched   with   such   gentleness,   such   sincerity.   they   attempted   to   hold   his   gaze,   but   couldn’t,   it   being   far   too   strong   and   caring   for   him   to   remain   in   a   state   of   stability.   without   much   thought,   as   if   on   autopilot,   he   nods,   a   smile   creeping   up   in   the   corners   of   his   mouth.   ‘   of   course.   but   i’m   okay,   really.   must   have   had   a   bad   dream,   didn’t   mean   to   scare   you.   ’   there’s   a   gnawing   ache   that   grows   inside   of   junghyun’s   gut,   it   dares   to   be   felt   and   let   free   ;   however   he   won’t   allow   it.   as   desperately   as   he   wishes   to   lean   into   his   embrace   and   stay   there,   even   if   no   words   were   spoken,   he   can’t   allow   himself.   anything   they’ve   touched   turns   to   stone,   in   the   worst   of   ways—    he   doesn’t   wish   to   harm   hyeon,   another   loss   at   his   weakened   state   would   only   spill   him   overboard.   ‘   please,   stay.   i’ll   put   the   kettle   on.   ’   turning   on   his   heels,   their   short   walk   to   the   kitchen   is   met   and   water   is   poured   into   said   kettle,   that   soon   enough   is   set   atop   the   burner.   he’s   back   to   hyeon   within   minutes,   with   a   more   washed   out   face   than   before.   ‘   are   you   okay,   though?   ’

longtxts​:

 tatiana mumbled under her breath sleepily at first, before mustering the strength actually open her eyes to see who was beside her. “ .  .  . i wasn’t drooling was i ? “ she asked in any hopes she didn’t make a complete fool of herself last night either. /   @cigzaftrsex​ 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴𝙳 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙰 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁 !

a   soft   chuckle   falls   from   their   lips,   free   hand   cards   through   his   hair.   ‘   mm,   a   little   bit.   it   was   cute   though,   promise.   ’   he   couldn’t   help   but   admire   the   sleepy   gaze   on   her   face,   he   dares   to   reach   out   and   touch   her   soft   skin   once   again,   but   he’s   not   as   confident   as   he   was   the   night   prior.   instead,   his   cheeks   turn   red   and   their   voice   cracks.   ‘   uh,   are   you   hungry?   i   can   cook   for   us.   ’   kiyong   is   not   the   type   to   go   for   one   night   stands,   he’s   unaware   of   the   proper   etiquette.   do   you   make   breakfast   for   someone   you   only   spend   your   nights   with?

oxidizeds​:

        once the tone of seongmin’s laugh registered, it began to click in logan’s head that maybe he should’ve waited a bit before darkening their door like so. granted, he had been aching for some sort of human interaction, but that didn’t erase how selfish bombarding them directly after his date was. the feeling of guilt only rose at the mention of why the date ended, forcing him to silently accept the fact. he didn’t want to appear as though he was judging seongmin; he would never dare to, after everything they had been through. if anything, logan would have been in the same boat, but he didn’t have the –– for lack of a better term –– balls to attempt move on with another person in any form. even if he had, he doubted he’d be able to fully go for it if his ex was sitting a room away, too. it had been a while, sure, but any potential suitors fell flat when compared to seongmin. so, as a default, lonesome nights became the new normal. did this new normal erase the thought of seongmin’s room once being theirs, together, whenever he passed by? no, of course not. but he was working on it, along with cracking their case. of course, his business was in no shape or form logan’s, but it did not stop him from worrying about him. he could act like he did not know what was going on for their sake, but he wasn’t blind. at his words, logan simply shook his head before letting a shrug roll of his shoulders, “nah, you don’t have to worry about me. i chose to hangout in there, so i gotta deal with the consequences.” he paused for a moment, eyes drifting towards the red box in his hands as he looked for his next words, trying to avoid sounding egocentric as he spoke. “i’m sorry for hanging around tonight, or if it made it weird for you, or anything. that wasn’t my intention, i promise.”

the   softness   in   logan’s   voice   made   seongmin’s   sink,   wrenching,   it   was   hard   to   not   picture   him   as   if   he   was   coming   home   to   him   again,   shitty   movie   in   hand,   when   they’d   spend   the   night   discussing   and   cuddling.   it’s   tough   for   them   to   stay   seated,   not   jump   to   their   feet   to   greet   him   with   a   hug,   and   technically   speaking,   perhaps   he   could.   it   had   been   awhile   since   they   parted   ways.   this   had   become   their   new   normal,   but   given   their   history,   and   how   the   split   still   sit   well   within   seongmin--   it   probably   isn’t   a   good   idea   to   go   around   and   inviting   the   other   in   for   such   an   intimate   gesture.   or   rather,   it   felt   more   intimate   because   it   was   logan.   had   it   always   been   that   way?   dark   doe   eyes   dart   to   their   lips,   where   they   settle,   taking   in   the   state   of   his   nervousness.   had   he   been   the   cause   for   this?   had   he   somehow   upset   logan,   again?   he’s   overthinking   now,   his   fists   ball   and   tuck   beneath   his   own   shirt,   a   habit   he’s   learned   early   on   in   his   childhood.   ‘   i   think   that’s   the   last   of   .   .   .   my   dates,   if   you   want   to   move   back   in   here.   ’   eyes   widen,   he’s   quick   to   explain   himself.   ‘   i   mean,   for   your   work   stuff.   i   didn’t   mean--   ’   their   face   turns   bright   red   now,   fists   beneath   his   shirt   clenching   hard   enough   that   he   can   feel   them   numbing.   a   deep   breath   is   taken.   ‘   no,   it’s   not   you.   you   didn’t   cause   any   of   the   issues   i   faced   tonight   .   .   .   i   don’t   want   you   thinking   that.   ’   partially   true,   while   his   mind   had   been   on   logan,   who   sat   only   meters   away,   it   was   his   own   thoughts   of   failure   and   guilt   that   got   him   down.   had   he   been   able   to   not   picture   logan   but   rather,   the   woman   on   top   of   him,   it   might   have   worked.   maybe.   but   seongmin’s   already   not   the   random   sex   type,   but   he’s   depressed   and   stressed   ;   figured   it   might   good   to   give   it   a   go.   since   it   hasn’t   worked,   he’s   done   trying,   and   makes   a   mental   note   in   the   back   of   their   brain   to   stop   avoiding   his   true   feelings.   he   isn’t   over   logan,   and   even   so,   no   one   else   could   compare.   ‘   did   you   want   to   watch   something,   maybe?   ’