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springddays:
as he waited, he thought about the text he received, the one that had brought him here in the first place. words twisting in his heart and causing him to break out in a sweat in the middle of the night, the thin fabric of his shirt sticking to his skin. that feeling was still rooted deep, even more so after coming face-to-face with junghyun. legs spread, seated on the couch, he pulled out his phone, light illuminating his face. conversation still open, hyeon gnawed on his bottom lip, a fresh knife carving a wound into his already-worried soul, stomach squeezing and flipping in fear. something was amiss and while he understood there had been no ill intentions between either party, it didn’t defuse how he felt, it didn’t take away the burning emotion that something was very very wrong. the question brought him out of his mind, phone back in his pocket as he took the steaming mug from junghyun. “i’m fine. i was fine until i woke up to your text.” his skin welcomed the heat, scent of fresh tea wafting up into his nose. “only okay if you are. if it was a bad dream, you can trust me with it. they say it’s better to let things out, even a nightmare, than bottle it in.”
the comment made nearly causes them to drop their mug, the burning from it scalds their hands, and though this would normally hurt, junghyun’s anxiety takes place of it. setting down the mug, he stirs at it nervously, body closing in on himself, an attempt to make himself smaller, more protected. he’s forgotten how direct hyeon can be, and how he won’t let things just go. part of him wants to spill his guts to the other, but anytime that he has, whether it be a family member or a friend, it’s not ended well. there wasn’t room for any lovers, though they know they’d shut them out as well. ‘ i didn’t mean to upset you, i’m truly sorry, i have very vivid dreams and sometimes . . . ’ he’s not even gotten to the pit of his problems, or fears ; while he’s this upset and already, junghyun begins to cry. silently, thankful for the darkness of the hour. ‘ sometimes they vivid enough that i can’t decipher what’s real and what’s not. ’ hands grab themselves, lacing fingers of his own that now rest in their lap. at first he tries eye contact, but it’s far too much so he look away, out into the span of the living area. ‘ i keep having this recurring nightmare, where i’m in a dark room. possible a stage? i don’t know. i can hear water dripping . . . ’ as if on cue, he hears the running of his sink. a small shudder leaves his body. ‘ there’s a small crowd, but they surround me to the point of suffocation. sometimes i’m sleeping, sometimes i just stand there and cry. most times i’m . . . dancing, ’ this part is particularly rough for him to speak out loud, but he’s gotten this far and he knows he can’t stop. it pours out of him, just as like his tears. ‘ the crowd is pleased, at first. they cheer me on. but something changes halfway through, their faces . . . slowly become almost non-human. they scream, reach out to grab me and the room gets smaller, and smaller, i can’t breathe and i don’t move, ’ junghyun’s body is shaking, so much so that it pulls him from his trance. without warning and without thinking, he runs over to hyeon and buries his face into their chest, a loud, shrieking cry fills the air between them and he can’t stop.