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What NOT To Do On A First Date

Summary: Lassiter has a date (finally)

Notes: Welp. Was supposed to be a oneshot. Guess it’s a two-shot now, lmao

Part two of Social Norms and College Dorms

—————

Two stressful hours later and Lassiter had completed his exam. As he packed up his things, Juliet tapped him on the shoulder. 

“How do you think you did? Did the notes help?” 

“Pretty sure I nailed it thanks to those notes.” 

“Good, I’m not sure if Professor Spencer would’ve gone easy on you if you did bad on the exam.” It was true, the man could be a real hardass on students. He’d never let up on anyone, and Lassiter had even heard rumors that the professor held the same standards on his own kid as the students. “Anyway, I saw there was a new coffee place out on 7th street. We could go there?” 

“Actually, I’ve already got plans to go there.” The words slipped out before he could even think.

Juliet stopped right there. “Ooo, really? Are you going with someone?” She let out a tiny gasp. “Are you going out with someone?! Who is it? Do I know her? What’s her name?” 

Lassiter’s head spun at the rapid-fire questions, and he began to regret opening his mouth. He knew what she would do if she knew he was going on a blind date. Well, not exactly blind date, per se. He knew what he looked like. Along with one fact about him, which was that he smoked weed. But it was thanks to that that Shawn had found his way to Lassiter’s dorm, consequently leading to this date. So he guessed that maybe weed wasn’t all that bad. In certain circumstances. 

Then the meaning of exactly what Juliet had said hit him. She’d said ‘her’. Her name. Not ‘his’, not even ‘their’. Her. 

That’s when he realized he’d never told her he was pansexual. He could’ve sworn she was the only person other than his mothers that knew. But apparently not. He must have dreamed of their conversation about his sexuality or something. 

Lassiter realized Juliet was looking at him expectantly, and remembered that she’d asked him several questions. For the first time in a while, he was at a loss for words. How would he explain to her that he was meeting up with another guy? Should he lie and make something up? Did he even really want to tell her? But he couldn’t just say nothing, that would be rude to do to his only friend (he may not know much about social etiquette, but telling a friend to buzz off when they’re being genuinely curious was one thing he knew not to do). 

“Well, if you must know. I am going on a date-” 

“Oh my gosh Carlton, that's great! I’m so happy for you!”

He smiled awkwardly at the praise. “Eheh, thank you, uhm. And no, you wouldn’t know… her. She’s… Lauren’s… friend?” 

If Juliet had noticed the hesitancy in Lassiter’s voice, she didn’t give any indication. “Well, I’m really happy for you. I hope it goes smoothly.” 

A small genuine grin formed. “Yeah, thanks-”

“Oh! A word of advice:” She motioned him a little closer when she said her next sentence. Under her breath, she said, “try not to bring up the dead clown story. I know you think it’s funny-”

“It is funny!” He tried to defend himself. 

“But the last time you did that I had to pick you up from a restaurant fifteen miles from campus because your date left you.”

Lassiter opened and closed his mouth. Juliet wasn’t wrong. He had in fact waited and waited patiently at the table for his date to come back from the bathroom, eager to continue in the telling of his favorite story. Lassiter had acquired it by being in, what he would consider, the right place at the right time. He couldn’t fathom why some people who were standing nearby had to consult with an on-site therapist (who was most likely there for the children that would be scared of the circus performers). 

Anyways, they were getting off track. 

“Just remember to be yourself, okay?”

———

Lassiter sat nervously at the tiny booth, hand subconsciously reaching to the back of his head to tug at a clump of hair. The moment he touched the nape of his neck he drew his hand back, silently reprimanding himself. He really needed to stop doing that before it became a habit. Hell, it was already becoming one. 

He settled for grabbing a stray pencil from his bag and twirling it in his fingers. It didn’t have the same satisfactory effect as tugging his hair did, but it would do for now. 

Lassiter checked his watch. 12:07. Shawn was late. ‘It’s fine, it’s just seven minutes. Maybe he’s caught up in something else and that’s why he’s running late. Yeah, yeah that’s it.’

It didn’t do much to calm his nerves. He started twirling the pencil faster, and his foot began to tap on the wooden floor. He should probably take this time to study. Yeah, that was a good idea. He set the pencil back down and reached into his bag once more, this time grabbing a small set of notes dedicated to psychology. He had a test later that day, but not one that was as important as the Criminology exam he finished not long ago. It would only be a simple quiz reviewing the content of what they’d learned over the past couple of weeks. 

But he couldn’t focus on any of it, his mind constantly wandering to the guy he was supposed to be meeting with. He looked back down at his watch. 12:19. Okay, whoever this Shawn guy was must’ve been a dick. Because who makes someone wait this long?

‘Calm down. Just wait a little longer. He could still show up.’ Even as he reassured himself, he could feel his hope dwindling, an uncomfortable feeling of chagrin taking its place bit by bit. 

12:24 now. Lassiter couldn’t take it any more. He’d been stood up, plain and simple. He shoved the pencil he’d been fiddling with and the notes he’d been trying to study into his bag once more. Slinging the straps over his shoulders, prepared to leave, quickly stepping out of the booth and rounding the corner-

BAM

“Oof!”

Lassiter collided into another person, hard. It was with such force that it caused the both of them to tumble onto the floor. He held his forehead in pain. He’d hit something with it, something big and slightly pokey. Without even thinking, he began to say, “Hey, watch where you’re-!” when he saw who he’d run into. It was Shawn, the guy Lassiter had been waiting for nearly half an hour to show up. 

But before he could begin to feel anger at Shawn, he noticed how he was clutching his nose. He must have hit it with his forehead during their collision not but a few seconds ago. 

“Ow! Fuck- oh yeah, that stings. Shit shit shit…”

Well, that was one way to make a helluva first impression. 

———

Lassiter was once again sat in a chair, nervously tapping his foot and grabbing at his hair. He didn’t try to stop it, letting the hair-tugging happen to try and calm down somewhat. 

“-just remember to keep that on for a month, and then come back and we’ll take it off for you.” 

“Alright, thanks!”

Looking up, he saw Shawn walk into the waiting room, a large and very obvious cast covering his nose. 

Without missing a beat Lassiter leapt out of his chair and over to Shawn, quickly closing the distance between them. “Are you good? I didn’t hit you too hard, did I? I can pay for the bill, it’s my fault-”

“Woah woah woah, chill! It’s no biggie. I’m still on my dad’s health insurance so I just used that. And it was a clean break, so it should heal just fine.”

Lassiter breathed out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness, he didn’t know if he’d actually be able to pay for the medical bill. He had no clue how much it would’ve even added up to. “Okay, good. That’s good.” He then realized he should probably apologize for, well, breaking the guy’s nose. “Hey, look. I’m sorry about running into you and breaking your nose. I thought you weren’t gonna come and that you’d stood me up- not that I didn’t- you were taking a while, so I just- I mean, if you’d been in my shoes-”

Lassiter was stopped in his rambling by the feeling of Shawn’s lips pressing against his own. They tingled with electricity. He closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. It was unlike any other he’d had, and he’d been kissed a lot. 

He felt Shawn slowly draw back. He opened his eyes again and saw that he had a stupid grin on his face. “You were rambling.”

Lassiter didn’t say anything. His brain was on autopilot, so he blurted out “Did you know I once saw a clown die?”

Shawn stood there for a moment, processing what he’d said. 

‘Oh no, why did I say that. Dammit now he’s looking at me weird. God, I should’ve just listened to-’

His thoughts were interrupted by a burst of laughter from the man in front of him. It sounded a little weird, considering his nose was covered up by a thick cast. “No way! What happened?” 

Wait. Someone wanted to listen to the story? He didn't see any signs in Shawn’s body language that said otherwise. “Well, it’s an interesting story…”

———

Lassiter didn’t think twice before unlocking Juliet’s dorm room with a spare key she’d gifted him and flopping on one of her bean bag chairs, a dopey grin plastered on his face. 

Somewhere from the tall bed above him, she poked her head out. “Good date?” 

Good? That would be an understatement. Despite the rough start, he’d had an amazing time with Shawn. Once they’d left the hospital they decided it would be better to visit the arcade. Actually, that had been Shawn’s idea, Lassiter just went along with it. And he was glad he did. Shawn had cheated on a bunch of the games and won a shit ton of tickets. Instead of being cliche and buying a stuffed animal however, Lassiter chose to use the tickets on a giant rainbow slinky — “Just like you!” Shawn had exclaimed — of which was now stuffed safely in his backpack. 

Lassiter just kept smiling goofily to himself. “Yeah. Really good date. He was great.” They’d already scheduled to meet again at the library the next day. And he couldn’t wait to see him again. 

“Wait. He?” 

Oh yeah. He never did tell her about that small detail, did he?

———

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