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I Married a Monster from Outer Space (1958)
Movie number 48: The House of the Spaniard (Reginald Denham, 1936).
Based upon Arthur Behrend’s novel The House of the Spaniard is a hopelessly dated comedy thriller set against the backdrop of the Spanish Civil War. Peter Haddon hams it up as hapless David Grey, accidental witness to some dodgy goings on on Liverpool marshland who then gets mixed up in some nonsense about Spanish revolutionists. The confusing plot is peppered with coincidences and contrivances and for much of the movie I was in the dark as to what was happening as the narrative jumped from one incredulous event to another.
The Marlene Dietrich-esq Brigette Horney is appealing as Margarita, Mr Grey’s love interest and the daughter of his employer and eventual kidnapper Pedro de Guzman (Allen Jeayes) and the movie is not wholly unentertaining; some enjoyment is to be found its frankly ludicrous situations and eventual denouncement. But to be honest the film has little else going for it.
Told in a jolly, lighthearted manner unbefitting of it somber real-life backdrop of civil unrest, The House of the Spaniard is a largely missable b-movie that leaves a slightly bad taste. Those with an interest in pre-war British cinema, or with a peculiar fetish for bad movies, may find it worth a watch.
Movie number 65: The Silent Passenger (Reginald Denham, 1935).
Dorothy L Sayers’ amateur sleuth Lord Peter Wimsey makes his big screen debut in this original story, written by Sayers with screenwriter Basil Mason.
When a man in wrongly accused of murdering his philandering wife’s lover Lord Peter Wimsey steps in to prove his innocence. The action largely takes place on board train from London to Dover and benefits from location shot on actual stations.
Made three years before another great train bound mystery, The Lady Vanishes (Alfred Hitchcock, 1938), The Silent Passenger pales in comparison to the later movie. Yet this slightly creaky thriller actually surpasses its obvious ‘B’ movie origins and really isn’t bad at all. Admittedly, it’s not much of a mystery as the audience know the identity of the murderer from the outset. But its climactic chase through a locomotive repair shop and into the pathway of an oncoming train is genuinely exciting. Peter Haddon hams it up nicely as Wimsey and it has its share of humorous moments as well as minor thrills. It is no classic by any means, but does have an old fashioned charm nonetheless.
Movie number 74: The Gilded Cage (Dir: John Gilling, 1955).
There are shades of The Maltese Falcon (John Huston, 1941) to this low budget British thriller set in the murky underworld of art forgery.
The film stars Alex Nicol and Michael Alexander as brothers embroiled in murder and an attempted art heist. Punch-ups ensue as the pair endeavour to solve the crime and clear their name.
The Gilded Cage is a decent enough crime thriller from the era of the second feature; solidly, if a mite unimaginatively, directed by John Gilling, who would later direct some noteworthy movies for Hammer Film Productions including Plague of the Zombies (1966) and The Reptile (1966).
With American actors in the lead and a mix of mid-Atlantic accents throughout, presumably in an attempt to appeal to US audiences, its hoped for ‘hard-boiled’ style is a little underdone. It does benefit from use of the actual London locations on which it is set, including Tower Bridge with its pre-Jubilee paint job and a fascinating but all too brief glimpse of St Katherine Docks when it was still a working dock.
The Gilded Cage is no masterpiece but it is a well paced, entertaining flick. Worth a watch, especially for fans of vintage British cinema.
Originally produced by Tempean Films, it would presumably have fallen into obscurity were it not for film archivists Renown Pictures and their dedication to preserving such overlooked works which collectively form an important part of Britain film history.
Read this review and more on my new blog: jinglebonesmovietime.blogspot.com
BEYOND TOMORROW aka BEYOND CHRISTMAS (Dir: A Edward Sutherland, 1940).
My quest for obscure vintage Christmas movies has arrived at Beyond Tomorrow, a curious little movie with a somewhat convoluted plot.
A trio of wealthy businessmen (Harry Carey, C Aubrey Smith and Charles Winninger) play matchmaker to a teacher (Jean Parker) and a misplaced cowboy (Richard Carlson). When the three are tragically killed in a plane crash they return as ghosts to watch over the couple whom they have left a significant inheritance.
Beyond Tomorrow is one of a handful of Hollywood movies of the era to deal with themes of spirituality and guardian angels; notable examples include Here Comes Mr Jordan (Alexander Hall, 1941) and It's a Wonderful Life (Frank Capra, 1946). Unfortunately this movie is nowhere near the caliber of those classics.
Although relatively short, at roughly 80 minutes, I found it a chore to watch. It's early scenes, centered around the holiday season are easily its best. However the film soon descends into hollow sentimentality and mawkishness, with Adele Comandini's screenplay lacking the dramatic strength to overcome the corny and frankly odd premise. The 'B' movie is also lacking star talent, although Richard Carlson later would make an impression in Universal's late period monster flick Creature from the Black Lagoon (Jack Arnold, 1954). A bigger name would certainly have lent the movie a little more cache but, to be honest, I think it would do little to help either the pedestrian script or A Edward Sutherland's workmanlike direction.
I also feel this movie was slightly miss sold, as only its first third is festive. In a shameless yuletide cash grab the movie has latterly been marketed as Beyond Christmas. Cynical though this may be, the title is actually more accurate as much of the feature does, indeed, take place after Christmas!
I am a sucker for a decent Christmas film and Golden Age Hollywood is my favourite era of filmmaking, but this turkey of a movie did nothing for me. By all means worth a watch for the curious. Just don't expect it to fill you with Christmas joy.
Check out my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME for 100+ movie reviews! Link below
THE CHRISTMAS TREE (Dir: James Clark, 1966).
Cheap and cheerful Christmas movie from the Children’s Film Foundation.
Cocky kid Gary (William Burleigh) boasts to friends in a hospital ward that he can secure them a Christmas tree by 6PM on Christmas Eve. Determined to make good his claim, he and his younger siblings Jane (Kate Nicholls) and Sam (Anthony Honour) trek the 30 miles to London’s St Vincent hospital, stolen tree in tow, ill advisedly accepting lifts from strangers and finding themselves in evermore ridiculous situations as the movie progresses.
Like all CFF productions The Christmas Tree has a certain slapdash appeal. None of the cast seem particularly professional, with the exception of Brian Blessed, the Z Cars actor on familiar ground in a minor role as a police constable.
Its amateurish charm is actually probably the The Christmas Tree’s greatest asset. What submarines the film is its ludicrous plot involving cantankerous bus conductors, armed robbers and a circus troop. The three waifs, who must rank among the dopiest kids in history, somehow manage to evade parents, police and avoid being shot at by the army as they wander onto a military rifle range.
It is difficult to think of a movie with less of a grasp on reality. I am sure it entertained young audiences hyped up on sweets and sugary pop at the Saturday Morning Pictures in the 1960s, but viewed today it is quaint and corny and less than thrilling.
I can’t honestly say I would recommend The Christmas Tree to anyone other than those with an interest in British cinema. Clocking in at just over one hour, it is short enough to watch out of curiosity. It may hold nostalgia value for those who saw it as a child but I can’t see it appealing to kids raised on Star Wars and The Avengers.
100+ movie reviews now available on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME! Link below.
DR GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE (Dir: Norman Taurog, 1965).
A kooky 1960s teen-comedy-cum-spy-spoof from Hollywood’s greatest purveyors of exploitation, American International Pictures (AIP).
The titular Dr Goldfoot (Vincent Price) has invented a machine for turning out lethal bikini clad robots with which he plans to ensnare the world's wealthiest men, acquire their assets and bump them off, eventually seeking world domination. Stumbling upon the plan are bumbling undercover agent Craig Gamble (Frankie Avalon) and playboy Todd Armstrong (Dwayne Hickman), both unwittingly smitten with humanoid Diane (Susan Hart). The pair face some Edgar Allen Poe worthy tortures as they attempt to infiltrate Goldfoot's lair and bust up his operation.
While not an official entry in AIP's Beach Party series, the movie is something of an offshoot of, or cousin to, the beach movies; taking its cues from both the beach and Bond.
In a non-singing role the talented Frankie Avalon gives the impression of being a much better actor than Hollywood allowed. As his partner in crime-busting Dwayne Hickman, while lacking Frankie’s charisma, makes for a perfectly amiable leading man. The magnificent Vincent Price, meanwhile, happily leaves subtlety in his dressing room and hams it up a treat as the infamous Dr G.
It’s all very silly and the humour is very broad and incredibly juvenile. Yet, despite what its title may suggest, it’s all pretty innocent stuff. No movie entitled Dr Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine was ever going to be a plea for feminism but neither is it as rampant with outdated sexism as you might expect. Director Norman Taurog keeps things moving at a rapid pace, with enough whimsical humour and general good vibes as to make it entertaining eye candy, if little else.
At time when increasing civil unrest and the Vietnam War were encroaching on teenagers real lives, it is easy to see why escapist fluff such as this was popular. It is a fun time capsule of a more innocent era - at least in teen movies. Fans of beach movies, Bond and 1960s kitsch should find much to enjoy.
For a longer, more in-depth review of DR GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME! Link below.
ONE MUST FALL (Dir: Antonio Pantoja, 2018).
A low budget, independent horror-comedy, the feature length debut of writer/director Antonio Pantoja.
Unfairly dismissed from an office job by her creepy boss, single parent Sarah (Julie Streble) is forced to take a position as part of crime scene clean-up crew. When called to the site of a murder in abandoned warehouse, Sarah initially has concerns that the killer is still on the premises. Her fears are confirmed when, one by one, her colleagues start disappearing...
One Must Fall is quite gory but it is also very funny. For me, the funnies did go some way to offsetting the grizzlies, although there was the odd moment when I felt compelled to look away from the screen; notably during a clean-up sequence and in the excessively bloody and highly improbable but amusing conclusion.
Set in the 1980s, the era is reinforced by pop culture references such as vintage Pepsi cans, Walkmans and nods to Janet Jackson and ET. There is also a cheeky anachronistic reference to the Duffer Brothers blockbuster 1980s period Netflix series Stranger Things (2016 - present). Adding authenticity is a neat electronic soundtrack, which recalls John Carpenter's music for his iconic slasher movie Halloween (John Carpenter, 1978).
Director Antonio Pantoja is not afraid to indulge in horror clichés, sometimes ironically, but always effectively. In this he has crafted a loving tribute to the genre's legacy. It lacks the polish of a larger production, but this is no bad thing; the lack of studio sheen lends it an air of 80s slasher movie authenticity. The cast, all of whom were unfamiliar to me, make a game task at juggling the more horrific scenes with some moments of goofy humour. Julie Streble, in particular, is both sympathetic and believable as the kick-butt heroine.
With credible effects work and some genuine moments of tension One Must Fall should please ardent slasher aficionados. Ultimately, the black comedy aspect took the edge off of some of the nastiness and in the moments I wasn't averting my eyes from the screen, I was definitely entertained.
I was lucky enough to catch a screening of One Must Fall at Southend-on-Sea's Horror-on-Sea Festival 2020. It doesn't appear, as yet, to be widely available. If comedy-horror-slasher movies are your thing this is worth keeping an eye out for!
A longer, more in-depth review of ONE MUST FALL is available on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME! Link below.
DATE WITH DISASTER (Dir: Charles Saunders, 1957).
Visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME to read a longer, more in-depth review of DATE WITH DISASTER.
Date with Disaster is something of a misnomer of a title, seemingly designed to appear more sensational. With no particular date or disaster to be found, the movie concerns two partners of secondhand car dealer Highgrade Autosales, who plan a safe robbery while third partner Miles Harrington (Tom Drake) is out of town. Engaging the help of professional criminal Tracey (William Hartnell) things, as you might expect, do not go according to plan. Mixed up in the dodgy doings is Miles' girl Sue (Shirley Eaton).
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
PORT OF ESCAPE (Dir: Tony Young, 1956).
Noir-ish British B-movie crime flick starring real life husband and wife John McCallum and Googie Withers. Based upon Barbara S Harper’s short story Safe Harbour.
Having just docked in London, seaman Mitch Gillie (McCallum) accidentally kills a man in a knife fight while protecting his pal Dinty (Bill Kerr). On the lam and needing an escape route they commander the houseboat of gossip columnist Anne Stirling (Googie Withers). At first fearing the men, Anne, her sister (Wendy Danielli) and their housekeeper (Joan Hickson) eventually try to help the pair when they learn of Dinty’s mental illness.
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
THE HEADLESS GHOST (Dir: Peter Graham Scott, 1959).
The Headless Ghost is a comedy horror with the accent firmly on comedy.
Three exchange students Americans Ronnie (David Rose) and Bill (Richard Lyon) and Danish Ingrid (Liliane Sottane) spend the night in haunted Ambrose Castle. With the help of the spirit of the 4th Earl of Ambrose (Clive Revill) they must reunite the head and shoulders of Malcolm, the headless ghost of the title. Imagine, if you will, an episode of Scooby Doo Where Are You! sans the Great Dane but with real ghosts and you pretty much have The Headless Ghost in a nutshell.
Visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME to read the full review. Link below.
SHOCKTOBER! Day 1: THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS (Dir: Eugène Lourié, 1953).
This sci-fi classic from the heyday of the monster movies marked the cinematic pairing of fantasy titans and lifelong friends, author Ray Bradbury and stop-motion animator Ray Harryhausen.
Based upon Bradbury's short story The Fog Horn, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms tells of the mighty Rhedosaurus, a 200 foot, disease-ridden, carnivorous dinosaur frozen in suspended animation for millions of years and unwittingly thawed by an experimental Arctic atomic explosion, Awakened from his frosty slumber, old Rhed proceeds south to North America's east coast and the warmer waters of the Atlantic. En route to New York he overturns a fishing boat and destroys an innocent lighthouse, before rocking up in the Big Apple to wreck havoc in the city, culminating in an awesome Coney Island showdown between monster and military.
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
SHOCKTOBER! Day 2: HOUSE (Dir: Steve Miner, 1985).
From Sean S Cunningham, producer/director of Friday the 13th (1980) and Steve Miner, director of Friday the 13th Part II (1981) comes House, a shocker of a markedly lighter tone than the slasher movies for which either was known.
Promoted as a comedy horror, House stars William Katt as horror author Roger Cobb (presumably modeled after Stephen King) a Vietnam vet who is mourning the recent suicide of a beloved aunt and the mysterious disappearance of his young son. Both events are somehow connected to the creepy house which his aunt has left to Cobb in her will. Retreating to his aunt's abode to write a biographical novel based upon his wartime experiences, he is haunted by all manner of apparitions, included that of comrade Big Ben (Richard Moll) who died in Vietnam. Naturally folks think Cobb is crazy. Enlisting the help of amiable neighbour Harold (George Wendt), Cobb battles to overcome both inner-demons and the curse of the house of horrors.
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN (Dir: Nathan Hertz, 1958).
Proto-feminist text or trash classic? As much as some film historians claim it’s the former, I think sci-fi/horror Attack of the 50 Foot Woman is probably the later; a cheap and cheerful exploitation film aimed squarely at the drive-in, double feature market.
After arguing with her two-timing husband, heiress and owner of the world's most expensive diamond Nancy Archer (Alison Hayes) has a run in with an extra-terrestrial satellite, inexplicably inhabited by a 30 foot bald-headed behemoth (Michael Ross, doubling as Tony the bartender). Radiation exposure results in Nancy growing to a whopping 50 feet in height. Meanwhile husband Harry (William Hudson) takes the opportunity to steal her diamond and ensconce with fancy-lady Honey (Yvette Vickers). Soon the police are on their tail as, more worryingly, is Nancy who wants her diamond and her man back!
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK (Dir: Eugène Lourié, 1958).
Low budget sci fi shocker of the ‘good scientist gone bad’ variety, from Paramount Pictures.
With story aspects and visuals borrowed liberally from the likes of Der Golem (Paul Wegener & Carl Boese, 1920) and Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931) The Colossus of New York tells of acclaimed scientist Dr Jerry Spensser (Ross Martin); cut down in his prime on the eve of collecting an International Peace Prize. After relieving the dead body of its brain, his surgeon father (Otto Kruger) and automation expert brother (John Baragrey) promptly insert the cranium into that of a 8 foot metal man and, with some incredible shortsightedness, inexplicably fit the robot with death ray laser eyes! Lamenting the lack of a soul and understandably upset at his brother's romancing of his widow (Mala Powers), Dr Jerry breaks free of the laboratory that binds him, and heads cityward, all eyes blazing! But not before a weirdly touching reunion with his fatherless young son Billy (Charles Herbert).
Full review available to read on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME! Link below.
DEVIL GIRL FROM MARS (Dir: David McDonald, 1954).
With Martian men on the verge of extinction, Nyah (Patricia Laffan), a PVC clad dominatrix who bears a passing resemblance to a young Agnes Moorehead, is dispatched to London to collect male specimens for the purpose of repopulating the planet. Accompanied by a robot seemingly made from odds and ends found in a garden shed, the would-be seductress with the voice of a British Rail announcer goes off course and crash lands in the Scottish Highlands. Here she invades the remote Bonnie Charlie Inn; the residents of which are a motley bunch including an escaped murder and his girl, an aspiring model, a scientist, an investigative journalist and a sturdy Scots landlady. The men of the Inn aren't up to spec so Nyah must repair her craft and continue on her mission. But those pesky Earthlings have other ideas and are intent on stopping her. You can bet they are sorry when she unleashes a powerful raygun and her giant flowerpot 'bot on them!
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
THE GIANT BEHEMOTH aka BEHEMOTH THE SEA MONSTER (Dir: Eugène Lourié, 1959).
Taking inspiration from The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (Eugène Lourié, 1953) and Godzilla (Ishiro Honda, 1954), The Giant Behemoth is 1950s monster movie mayhem on a minuscule budget.
In a classic 'when atomic testing turns bad' scenario, a pre-historic Palaeosaurus comes ashore on the Cornish coast, threatening the lives of marine life and crusty old fishermen. Not content with terrorising townsfolk in the West Country, the rampaging radioactive reptile heads to London. What is a bored behemoth to do in the big city but riot? If only the meddling military don't stand in his way...
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
Supernatural fantasy romance from Hollywood’s golden age. Read my review of Beyond Tomorrow (1940) here:
https://jinglebonesmovietime.blogspot.com/2019/12/beyond-tomorrow-aka-beyond-christmas.html?spref=tw
THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN (1957).
I know it’s meant to be a threatening scene, but I can never stop laughing when I see it. This is me and my cats when I’m trying to get work done.
“If you see only ten thousand movies this year make sure this isn’t one of them!”
