Battling Depression - Tumblr Posts
Today i'm thinking about mold, like emotionally. The feeling of moldiness vs feeling nourished and refreshed.
If you've struggled with depression & have worked at allieving it (✋️), you might relate to how unfair it is that many of the things you DO NOT WANT to do while depressed alleviate the depression. 🔀
Depression wants me to isolate, but reaching out and connecting to someone helps. 🫂 Depression doesn't want me to leave bed much less the house, but standing barefoot in my front yard for five minutes eases something in me 🌾☀️. Depression wants me to forsake myself, but damn if everything isn't easier after a long shower and a meal.🧼🍜
It almost feels like depression is a parasitic mold man that doesn't want to be eliminated and has the ability to plant strong 'don't wanna' messages into your gourd 🚫. If you stay alone and miserable the mold can really settle into your body and grow- it even tries convincing you the depresso mold is a dangerous substance like real mold is and that if you go for help you'll just hurt people.
Its so hard to not listen to my scummy little mold man! SO HARD (😏). And he has gremlin powers where if you feed the mold after midnight (or whatever 'past bedtime' is) he gets incredibly worse.
So im celebrating myself (he hates that) and listing some fuck-off-mold-guy activities I've done the past few days 💪
☀️ I made myself a beautiful ratatouille and a plum cookie cobbler
☀️ I asked my partner for back rubs
☀️ I sat in a patch of grass by the road and found a swirly rock
☀️ Watched a goose 🪿
☀️ Opened some windows and curtains and vacuumed
☀️ Redyed my hair (still green lmao 💚)
☀️ Had two friends over to share a meal and bark at Paul Hollywood
☀️ Complimented and flirted with my partner until they blushed and squeaked
☀️ Listened to Carbon Leaf in a hammock with a drink in my hand
☀️ Did paperwork I didnt want to do and then loudly congradulated myself for completing it
Like, I still hate the trend of "Oh you're depressed? You should just __". The use of 'just' is so diminishing, its so dismissive of how hard it is and how individual the depression is. Sure, I have a list of things I did lately that helped me, but im not 'cured', and I know as winter comes itll get harder and Ill need my therapist even more. It can be true at the same time that I've found some things that help me through, make the mold recede, and are worth congradulating myself over. 😊
I hope you all find some nourishment and refreshment as well ✨️
Monday taglist: @gioiaalbanoart (hmu to be +/-)