Brb Sobbing - Tumblr Posts
“There’s goodness in the heart of every broken man who comes right up to the edge of losing everything he had.”
Expectation is the currency of fools
I spent it on you,
I spent it on you
the Mountain Goats - “No Children” Live at City Winery 12/04/2015
And I hope when you think of me years down the line You can’t find one good thing to say And I’d hope that if I found the strength to walk out You’d stay the hell out of my way I am drowning There is no sign of land You are coming down with me Hand in unlovable hand
Day 2: death
// Reimagining Charles death closer to the drowning of Ophelia…
“but long it could not be, till that her garments, heavy with their drink, pull’d the poor wretch from her melodious lay… to muddy death. ✨
“Maybe a relationship is just two idiots who don’t know a damn thing except the fact that they’re willing to figure it out together.” [X] [insp.]
RAHHHHHH WAIT!!!! Ok wait. I need to read it. I’ll be back.
ok. Um so I’m back. Im so emo. Like. 🛌 I. I don’t even know what to say. THE SONG TOO!!!??!? Ugh. It’s perfect. You did it again. This will be saved somewhere for me to comeback to if I’m in my feels. :,)
say that's it love
on a day when stars pour down, so precious and rare I'll listen to every word you say, especially when it's love
word count : 4.8k words
genre : fluff and a sprinkle of appreciation for the people around you; you've been planning to confess but end up failing and you finally realize plans don't work; florist!hanni x fem!reader (a year older than hanni); girlfriends for the win !
t/w : none :) mentions of murder but jokingly?? (i fr dk how to t/w stuff)
a/n : hello everyone ! i present to you the final chap for 'baby's breath and lemon candies' series :D i hope this was a good wrap up for the short series :) enjoy !
taglist : @keiji-jin
you've been telling yourself that you were going to confess to hanni. and that has been the seventh time you've told yourself that after making up your mind. thinking and imagining about it was the easy step of the plan, but as you try to move onto the next stage of actually carrying out the confession, you just can't find the right timing to do it. (or more like you were just second guessing everything and maybe, you misunderstood her actions and she doesn't actually like you)
your attempts to confess ended up futile. the first time was very ambitious, as you were overflowing with passion to make it the best (and last) confession hanni would ever receive in her entire life. but that passion was met with the 'closed' sign on blooming potion's front door. a small note in the owner's cute handwriting, indicated she had closed early for personal reasons. (you forgot that hanni told you she was going to close early that day for a high school reunion dinner)
and that fact made you feel a little disheartened as it meant that she was going to be meeting her acquaintances who might possibly take the initiative to hit on hanni. to be fair, she's so beautiful that if they were to find out she was still single, your chance would be out the window that very second. (in the near future, you will come to know that all this worry was all for nothing because this certain someone had already fallen down the rabbit hole of love so deep, and she's happier than ever to be there)
since your plans were technically ruined (by yourself), you trudged your way back to blue rain in hopes that your beloved bosses were still in the middle of cleaning up the cafe. lucky for you, they were and you offered to close together. chaewon and minju noticed that you were looking unusually down hence they invited to go for a drink at downtown. technically, you had nothing to do so why not take up the offer? (safe to say, those two had to carry you back to your place and throw you onto your bed cause you drank till you were wasted)
the following attempt had a small margin of success but you were being a coward during the walk back home with her. fidgeting with the bicycle handles, kicking the small pebbles by the road, looking up into the sky, you name it. you tried so hard to shake off the nervousness and fear of getting rejected if you were to confess at that very moment. and by the time you thought you were ready, hanni had already walked up to her doorstep, waving goodbye with that smile you love. (which had you waving back at her awkwardly, as if you weren't so close to shout across that you liked her. which you didn't because that wasn't the best way to confess, obviously)
many more attempts had similar outcomes — failure. you weren't sure why it would end up being bad timings, or your cowardice getting the better of you. or sometimes, the thought of the confession flew past your head because you were too busy admiring hanni as you adore the way she puckers her lips every now and then when she talks about something, and the way her eyes sparkle when it comes to a topic she is interested in. (you were a simp for her, and you loved every second of it)
"you know, just standing by that counter every day at 8 won't get you a girlfriend."
chaewon's voice broke your trance as you tried to figure what went wrong with the last time you tried to confess.
"and you say that because you confessed to minju-unnie on the third date."
"no, I'm saying that because your ass needs to get moving before someone else stumbles upon your crush and makes a move on her."
you slouched on the counter with your arms, running your hands through your hair in frustration.
"it's not that I don't try, unnie. I've been attempting to for the past seven times."
the older girl gave you a skeptical look before standing from her seat by the window, placing her book down next to her cup of iced tea. (it wasn't peak hour so the shop didn't have any customers for the time being, therefore chaewon took the opportunity to laze around as she sent minju out to deliver the online orders)
"I don't know how you've attempted the past seven times, but have you ever considered not planning ahead?"
you looked up from your slouched position to find her leaning against the counter, eyeing you from above before she made her way into the working station.
"I've known you for three years now, and I just know that you would plan things ahead, a little too much ahead."
all you could do was stay silent and chuckle awkwardly because whatever chaewon had said was undeniably true.
"you love things to be perfect, just like how you would want the confession to be the most special, wonderful and extravagant experience for hanni."
"but you missed out on the part where it needs to be heartfelt."
with that, something rang within you. the bell of realization. you realize you weren't able to bring yourself to confess or carry out that plan in your head as it made things artificial. telling hanni you liked her had to come from your heart, not your brain. (during these kind of times, you thank chaewon for not roasting your dumb ass)
"and with it being heartfelt, it can also be simple."
while the older had hit you with words of wisdom, she had already finished brewing up a fresh cup of ice americano for you. it was one of the easiest to make on the menu and also a staple drink for customers in this season of summer.
just like this cup of ice americano, your confession could be simple and straightforward. no public stunts, no sparkles and party poppers, no surprises that would ruin the mood. just you, yourself, would bring out the best confession that only both you and hanni would ever know.
chaewon could only chuckle at your face of astonishment and enlightenment from her words. if she were to be truthful, although she had confessed on her third date with minju, she had also struggled to confess a lot of times before saying sike by kissing her. she had long noticed her on campus before they had officially met through the arranged date. (therefore she was speaking from experience)
she handed you the cup of coffee before leaving to finish that book she left on the table. as you drank your dose of caffeine for the day, you were motivated to just let that confession come naturally, just like how your feelings for hanni fell upon you.
the day went by rather quickly compared to the previous days where you were racking your head over the confession. before you bid farewell to chaewon and minju after closing up, you felt the urge to throw those two into a bear hug, and you did.
"what's with the sudden affection? are you going to kill us and take over the shop?"
minju thought you were going through late puberty these days, so she just went with the flow of whatever you did. including squealing like a lovesick high school girl swooning over a hot guy, which wasn't too far from where instead, you were just squealing over how cute hanni looks when she's asleep. (you went over to blooming potion as usual to walk the florist home but was met with a breathtaking sight of her asleep on the counter. therefore you couldn't help but take approximately 100 photos of her before she woke up naturally)
"maybe, who knows?"
and your playful reply earned a smack on your back from chaewon. but you just laughed it off, knowing that she rolled her eyes at your antics.
"okay, I'm not going to kill you but I am going to thank you for always being here for me, like older sisters."
"you guys just know what to say and when to say it, and I just felt like I wanted to thank you for it."
chaewon and minju exchanged glances and soon tears filled their eyes as it was their turns to bring you into a bear hug.
"you're growing up so fast."
"our baby is so mature these days, I feel so sad."
"why the hell are you talking like you raised me or something?"
they actually do treat you like their baby, especially when minju is giving you butt pats and squishing your cheeks right now.
"technically we sort of did throughout university until we graduated, and we're still raising you through your uni days."
"alright moms, I think the affection session has ended, so I will get going."
as you squirm out of their tight grips, they each gave you a ruffle on your hair before they walked hand in hand towards the opposite direction. (those two act more like your parents than your actual ones)
when you turned around, the familiar sight of blooming potion filled your heart with warmth and love. the thought of being this in love with someone would have never crossed your mind even if just a year ago. it's about time you knew, maybe, you don't like her.
maybe, you love her.
"need help with that?"
the soft ring of the bell on the door accompanied with your voice was something hanni could never get tired off. instead, it was more than she can ever ask for to have you by her side every day as you two walked home. all the days throughout spring into summer this year was special to her. (when she turned over to her left, you came into sight, smiling at her, and that's when her day is complete)
"unnie, I'm pretty sure you're shorter than I am."
she whipped her head towards the sound of your voice while she was arranging some stocks on the top shelves. your offended face had her burst out in laughter but thankfully, she was careful enough up there to not drop anything.
"you're lucky I'm in a good mood today, so I'm letting you off the hook."
it's been months since you've met hanni and came over every evening to walk her home. you oh so naturally walked over to the counter to close the cashier, followed with cleaning up the flower remnants on the countertops.
"what put you in a good mood?"
hanni came down from the ladder before walking over to you by the countertops.
"I don't know, I just feel happy and all that. just not in a bad mood, I guess."
you actually didn't know why. perhaps, you woke up on the right side of the bed, the cafe didn't have any nasty customers with complicated orders, and chaewon wasn't roasting your ass for once. maybe all of these combined made you a better day than the rest, which were undeniably good days too. (you had a hunch that something good was going to happen but couldn't pinpoint on what it was exactly)
"then that calls for a celebration!"
seeing the girl being happy on your behalf, although it was something so trivial. it warmed your heart a little, reminded that you have someone who cherishes you more than yourself.
"for my good mood?"
"yup! we can head to town for this really good ramen place, and right opposite it is a bakery I've really wanted to try."
whenever hanni talked about food, especially bread, her face would literally light up. the next thing you know, you'll have her ramble on about what bread she's into right now and what new stores she's discovered. (you found it really adorable, very endearing as all you do whenever she does that is stare and nod because whatever she likes, you will also)
"sounds like you're eager to go more than I do."
you couldn't help but let a chuckle escape your lips as her cheeks are painted with a light shade of pink. her attempt to hide by turning around with her back facing you let you know you were bullseye. (not sure if it's because you two spend so much time together, her ears turn red when she's shy or embarrassed, just like you do)
"alright, let's close up real quick and head over. hope you don't mind my driving."
renting a car definitely wasn't within the budget. it simply amazes you every time when you find yourself doing the unimaginable for the love of your life.
"two bowls of regular pork bone soup ramen, with an agedashi tofu side. thank you."
the place was rather quiet, despite being in the always bustling town. you wonder how hanni had found such a place, and before you could even look over to ask her, it's as if she read your mind.
"actually, an old friend of mine owns this place. she's currently out right now so maybe later, I could introduce you to her."
"I haven't even asked you, yet you just know what goes on in my head."
"perks of spending time together every day? you know how much we talk throughout the walks and those calls."
"well that, I can't deny."
curiosity about this friend of hers occupied your mind, which had you shoot your question.
"who's this old friend by the way? high school acquaintaince?"
"mhm, we reconnected after losing contact with each other at the reunion dinner the other day."
a nod was your only answer, because what else could you have done? imagine being so young and already running a whole shop on your own, you could never. not when you're only a struggling university student. (to be honest, you were slightly jealous of this old friend of hers before coming to know that she was already dating someone)
before you could create the worst scenarios of hanni and her friend in your head, the food arrived quicker than you expected. maybe god was also trying to save you from unnecessary heartache and worry about those two because really, there was absolutely nothing to fret about.
you tried your best to tell yourself that, but you just couldn't shake off that feeling of uncertainty which began eating you up. rather than eating up the bowl of ramen in front of you. even the younger girl felt it in the air around you, constantly eyeing you as you looked troubled, contradicting the very reason why you were here.
"hanni?"
"jen!"
an unfamiliar voice uttering her name had your head shoot up so fast, you almost choked on that piece of meat that you were swallowing. your eyes followed hanni's movements before it stopped upon a figure a lot taller than her. that was when your head short-circuited before it proceeded to run on that energy drink you had earlier.
"why didn't you tell me you were gonna drop by?"
"it isn't a surprise anymore if I just tell you."
their banter seemed so natural that it made you feel a little out of place. but you kept a façade that you believed wasn't too easy to see through, that you were making this stranger who is an acquaintance of hanni, your competition. (as you relived these memories in a very near future, you wished to smash your head into a wall, hoping to get a wake-up call because you were an idiot for even thinking)
but that didn't last long as your date tiptoed to whisper into jen's ears with the latter bending down a little to match their height. you had no right to be fuming but you did, internally and discreetly. (however, that was when you didn't know that hanni had been asking for advice from jen about her extremely obvious crush on an extremely obvious someone. what she whispered was, 'that's the girl I like by the way, so don't do anything stupid')
the two walked back over to your table before jen flashed you an unsettling and mysterious smile that had some meaning behind it, offering her hand along.
"nice to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you from hanni."
"jennifer, or yunjin. if you prefer korean."
her glance over to the said girl earned her a smack before you stood up to accept the handshake politely.
"nice to meet you, yunjin. although she hasn't told me anything about you, I did hear that you own this place."
"yes I do, along with my girlfriend. I hope you like the food so far, they're century-old recipes passed down from my girlfriend's family so I can guarantee it'd be the best ramen you can have in town."
although yunjin was explaining about the restaurant, you blanked out after hearing the word 'girlfriend'. it would have been great if you could just dig up a hole instantly and bury yourself in it cause oh boy, why did you put yourself through so much agony only to find out this rival of yours wasn't even competing with you in the first place. it was as if you were putting up a fight with an inflatable balloon, if that made sense.
"are you okay?"
the concern laced in hanni's voice dragged you out of your daze.
"yeah, I'm fine. sorry about that, just had a little something going in my head. not the best first impression, I know."
"don't worry, we all have those times. I'll take my leave first, I hope you enjoy the rest of your dinner."
as yunjin excused herself to tend to the restaurant, the two of you resumed with your meals. hanni's eyes never left you the entire time which made you a little awkward before malfunctioning altogether. her undivided attention on you made you wary of everything you did, including the way you chewed on your food or how big each bite was. it was making your heart pound a little harder than usual, but the thought of that didn't cross her mind as she was genuinely worried that you might have been uncomfortable with something.
alas, she was put to ease when you started to regain that playful demeanor of yours towards the end of the meal. you also let your guard down a little when hanni gave yunjin and her girlfriend, kazuha, a hug before leaving the restaurant. the two owners were bigger lovebirds than you expected, ultimately letting out that breath you were holding unknowingly. (honey, loosen up because no one's gonna take your girlfriend away from you)
initially, you were to drive back after dinner and drop your date off before heading back to your place. but seeing how there probably won't be another chance like this (a car you meant) with her, here goes nothing.
"would you mind if we headed south to the beach?"
you suggestion was either a hit or miss, and you could tell hanni loved the idea from the way her eyes shimmered a little at the thought of the calming ambience and scent of the sea. (it's been a while since she visited and she had always loved the sea more than mountains. it oddly felt like home, and so did you)
"of course! after all, I'm not the one driving."
she tried to play off her excitement nonchalantly, earning a chuckle from you.
"alright, let's head off then."
"oh, and we can even have those pastries by the beach."
perhaps because it was a weekday, there weren't many people by the beach. and you weren't complaining as that meant peace and quiet from potential screaming children. (you don't despise kids, but sometimes they can really get on your nerves)
you used to come to the beach back in your hometown as a kid with your parents and sister. your mom would enjoy the sun under the parasol while your dad went to fetch some drinks from the nearby store. you and your sister would build sandcastles and occasionally fight over who made a better one. (your dad would usually be the mediator, critiquing both sandcastles as if they were one of his projects)
the visits slowly died down as you grew older and you were convinced that your sister studying overseas contributed to it. but you do agree that the beach visits need not be so often, especially when your parents were getting old. (it was much better when your mom started reconnecting with her school friends and your dad going for golf with his retiree partners, enjoying the personal time they finally have after you moved out too)
"there's a really nice gazebo over there."
hanni pointed over to the lone gazebo sitting in the middle of the sand. it was a really odd place to see one but you did not question further as she pulled you along. (it would have been nice if she gave you more time to grab the box of pastries cause you almost shook up everything in it)
"hanni, slow down! the pastries are gonna get ruined!"
sometimes, you wonder if she loved bread more than she loved you. that does not sound right. hey, as a friend. (but not for long)
"my pastries!"
she came into an instant halt, making you almost squashing your face against her shoulder. the halt was necessary, with you by the gazebo already. it was a lot more cozy than you had expected, still a little chilly from the night breezes but it was just nice.
you knew she was very impatient ever since you had mentioned the beach. from the way her fingers kept fiddling with the hem of her shirt and how she struggled to conceal a wide grin from being plastered across her face.
hanni couldn't even wait for you to take a seat next to her as she opens the box, revealing the pastries that you and her had chosen before having dinner. even after a bowl of ramen, she still had more space for dessert. (you know what they say, people have a second stomach for desserts and hanni was not an exception)
the food you had earlier was finally easing down from potential indigestion. so you decided to watch the way her cheeks are puffed up from being full with pastries, the way her hair fluttered along the wind, and that cream below her mouth. (you found it adorable which had you leave it there for a while before doing something about it)
"you got some cream there."
pointing at your own to show her, hanni's eyes bore into yours as she attempts to wipe it off. she misses by a margin before trying again, and fails to locate it.
the smile on your face never left while she struggled, rummaging your pocket for the packet of tissue you usually carry along with you. pulling a single piece out, you folded it properly before facing her.
suddenly, you felt yourself break down. not emotionally, rather physically. you know when you see something so entrancing and mesmerizing, you just stop doing whatever you did and changed your course of action according to the visual info? yeah, that was your exact response.
the moonlight cascading on hanni's face, how her eyes glisten, as if she was looking at a person she cherishes a lot. perhaps she does cherish you a lot. and the proximity between your faces was a lot to take in (at this very moment, there was only one thing in your mind, and it sounds absolutely amazing)
your hand holding that tissue dropped down as you dived in to kiss the cream off of hanni's skin. it was a quick peck, your upper lip lightly grazing her lower lip as you pulled back to see her frozen. (big doe eyes, stiff body, mouth agape. if someone happened to walk past at that timing, they would've thought she saw a ghost)
you didn't know where that immense courage came from, and you were pretty sure even hanni was taken aback by your bold move. usually, she would be the one giving you cheek kisses for walking her back.
the grin that was already sporting on her face was replaced with a wider one if possible, and a different one at that. something about it told you that she was more than okay with what you had did back there. and maybe, it caused something to click in your head, figuratively and perhaps literally as if a switch had flipped on.
.
.
.
'confess.'
this very thought caused the adrenaline to course through your system, driving you into an overdrive of emotions. feeling that this was the timing to do it, you take a deep breath as you opened your mouth.
"I like you."
did you already say it before you actually thought you were ready? but that didn't sound like your voice. by the time you had snapped back from your questions, you felt a pair of hands cupping your cheeks before pulling you in closer.
everything went by like a flash and before you could comprehend things properly, hanni's lips on yours was the only thing that mattered at that moment. you could feel chills run down your back before leaving a tingling feeling across your whole body, contradicting the warmth that filled your insides. you weren't making any sense with your descriptions but whatever. (it might have been because of the wind but you knew better that it was hardly cold on summer nights)
'so this is how kisses feel like,' as you thought to yourself. the quick peck wasn't quite similar with this. you could feel hanni's feelings in that kiss, as if she was trying to tell you that she had been in love with you ever since she met you. (technically she did, but it was that she took approximately a week after to admit)
the kiss didn't last very long, considering how you practically broke down as your hands not knowing where to go. if anything, you were sure you looked like an absolute idiot in love with the person right in front of you, which was perfectly accurate.
"so.. do you like me too?"
maybe something about kissing hanni had a certain effect on you as you proceed to nod to her affirmative question, totally forgetting how to make up words to answer her. in a simple conclusion, your brain crashed and automatically had 404 error windows popping up, like how it usually does when she gets too close to you.
"gosh why are you so cute."
the compliments didn't help either with your crimson cheeks as they soon spread through your entire face. the sight of you being embarrassed than ever created the urge for her to wrap you in her arms as she coos at you, which she gladly succumbed to.
although you hadn't said much since, the reciprocated hug consisted of a thousand words of reassurance that you felt the same for her, if not more. as you remained still, listening carefully to your heartbeat and breaths slowly matching hers, your heart swelled when you realized that you found someone to love and that someone loves you very dearly too.
"you know, actually."
hanni's voice pierced through your attention on the everlasting moment. she pulled away slightly from the embrace, yet still holding onto you, before gazing into your eyes and saying the words that you didn't know you wanted to hear from the person you have met accidentally in spring, which was your most hated season.
"I love you,"
"and I will for as long as you and I are here."
every moment spent with hanni felt like a dream, even now. countless times, you had felt that you weren't someone who deserves such an angel in your mundane days, but she reassures you that you are someone who's deserving of all the nice things that exists in the world. (which she hates about because you were more than deserving of love and warmth, and she had been ready to be the one who gave those to you for a long time)
your hearty laugh wasn't something she or anyone in particular got to hear often. it was as if you were content with whatever that life was, for the first time. for the first time that you received the love that you had always wanted. and also because hanni stole your confession right out of your hands.
"you know, that was kinda my line, but I'll let it slide because I am in a good mood today."
"but also because it's you. you're my only exception, pham hanni."
"if I can, I'll say it over and over again until you get tired of me."
.
"I love you,"
"like baby's breath and lemon candies."
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Dean glared at Cas. Cas who was back, alive, and standing in front of him. A lot of emotions ran through him at once and the one that managed to slip out first was anger. “Fuck you,” he spat.
He might as well have punched Cas in the face, it would have made the same pain cloud Cas’ eyes the moment the words left Dean’s mouth. “I’m not going to ask you for anything, Dean,” Cas said quietly.
“Ask me for anything?” Dean echoed. “You dropped that confession on me. You didn’t think about what I wanted. You didn’t give me a chance to-” Dean broke off, trembling. He strode towards Cas, stopping only when they were practically nose to nose. “Fuck you for thinking that you were the only one who could want us.”
Cas blinked in confusion. “What?”
“Ask me for anything,” Dean said. “I’ll give it to you.” Dean took Cas’ hands in his. “Do you still want this?” he asked, their lips were so close.
“I do,” Cas said in wonder.
“I love you too,” Dean said before he surged forward, capturing Cas’ mouth with his own. His lips moved down Cas’ neck and his hands gripped at every bit of Cas he could find, reassuring himself that it was real. “Ask me to stop,” Dean whispered into his skin.
“I don’t want to,” Cas answered in a voice that was already on its way to being wrecked.
“What do you want?”
“Everything. Anything. You.”
“I’d give you the world if I could,” Dean said.
Cas smiled at him, eyes sparkling with tears, as he cupped the side of Dean’s face with a soft, warm, palm. “You already have.”
Lucius and Pete reunited 💗
Tfw when the teacher’s get to know you questions are getting a littleeeee too personal, is this a mental health screening or getting to know me pick one.
Me when arcane decided to drop the line “is there anything so undoing as a daughter?”
well, you know whAt, Hopper? You’re just a fatass Indiana cop
Don’t Even Think About It, Harrington - Series (Part V)
Hey guys, it’s been a SPELL and for that I’m sorry. Here is part five of Steve x Amy’s saga. For those of you new to my blog, this is a request for @shoeglazedonut which is as follows: “I’d like to request a story where Steve takes Hopper’s oldest daughter to the prom for their first official date. As Steve waits for them to finish up, Hopper, El, and the rest of the party are making Steve nervous as they give him the talk.”. You can find Chapters 1-4 listed below. If you prefer to read it on AO3, it is posted there as well (if you do read on AO3, please consider leaving kudos!)
Thanks readers! Pairings: Steve Harrington x Hopper’s Oldest Daughter (Amy) Rating: Mature Warnings: Swearing, kissing, sex mention Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four CHAPTER FIVE: I Hope So That night, when The Party arrived, Steve was in tow. The kids thundered into the kitchen, shouting over each other, leaving a trail of coats, shoes, and hats in their wake. Steve hung back by the front door, trying to scoop their mess into a manageable pile. Amy came over to him, coats in hand, smiling wide. “What are you doing here?” “Pretending to be your friend. Surely an innocent game of Dungeons and Dragons isn’t against the rules?” His expression suggested otherwise. He leaned in and left a kiss on her cheek. She tried to be angry, but her smile gave her away. “You have to behave. Jane will tattle.” “I am always well behaved.” “My dad is going to be home in a couple of hours,” she warned. “And I’ll be at the table, keeping my hands to myself.” He circled her waist and pulled her tight. “But in the meantime-” he moved to kiss her and she lifted her hand to his lips. “No.” She pushed him off, looking over her shoulder to make sure none of the kids saw. Mike scanned the table, noticing Steve’s absence. “Steve! You can make out later!” “Ew,” Will added. “Ew is Jonathan and Nancy every time we’re at your place,” Lucas said, Max nodding in agreement. “It’s all ew. Can you guys ever keep it in your pants?” Will scrunched his nose, he wanted to play, not deal with teenage hormones. Steve wandered up to the table and ruffled Will’s hair. “No. You’ll understand when you’re older.” He took a seat next to Dustin, happy to be completely unbothered by talk of Nancy and Jonathan. “Do you sneak in Amy’s window, too?” Mike goaded. “He does,” Jane sold him out. Steve gaped at her. “Shut up! I don’t anymore.” “Not since last night.” Jane’s smile was nothing short of wicked. “Ooooooo!” The Party crowed in unison. “Jane! Oh my God, please don’t tell Dad,” Amy begged, sweeping into the kitchen. “I won’t. If you make snacks.” Amy accepted the role of game wench at the mercy of her younger sister and moved to the cupboards. Jim pulled up to find Steve’s car parked in front of the house. He sighed and resigned himself to the fact he’d have to make nice in front of the kids. Jim didn’t want Steve there, but he knew The Party, especially Dustin, would. A pile of mess greeted Jim at the front door as a cacophony of sounds and the scent of buttered popcorn drifted from the kitchen. He could pick out Amy and Jane’s laughter above it all. Everything was as it should be. Almost. He walked into the kitchen to find Amy sitting on Steve’s lap, rolling the dice. They hadn’t heard him come in over everyone bellowing. Amy caught his eye and jumped up immediately. Everyone froze. Jim had a choice: tear her out and ruin everyone’s night or let it go. His mind raced as everyone stared at him. Steve looked particularly pale. Jane’s expression was the only one more pained; she didn’t want to lose her evening over Amy’s stupid boyfriend. “Maybe I should find you an extra chair?” was what he landed on. Everyone started to settle, for there was no yelling, there was no malice. Steve got up and said, “I’ll help you find one.” “No need, you kids enjoy your game.” Jim wandered down the hall to get the old wooden chair from his bedroom, one that he used as a closet when he was too tired to hang his clothes. He could hear the chatter resuming, much quieter than before, and he felt sorry for himself. He’d been too hard on the girls because he was holding them so damn tight. Jim shuffled down the hallway, back into the kitchen, and he passed Amy the chair. He smiled meekly to her and ruffled Jane’s hair. “I’ll be watching TV if you kids need anything.” There was an lingering air of tension as Jim exited the kitchen, furthering his self-loathing. Settling into his armchair, he hoped the laughter would resume. It didn’t take long as Dustin let out a loud belch to inject some levity back into the game, eliciting groans of disgust, impressed applause, and immature guffawing from the group. “That tasted like butter,” Dustin discovered. “I’m gonna barf on you,” Max added. The game carried on triumphantly, everyone saying asshole and shit too many times for Jim to start policing language now. Jane got busted moving the dice with her mind for a more favourable roll, but Mike chose to honour it, earning a punch in the arm from Lucas. “Mike, that’s not fair,” Steve complained, as he was most affected by the roll. “Life isn’t fair, Steve,” Mike retorted. Steve couldn’t help but pout, so Amy leaned over and left a small kiss on the tip of his nose. Jim had been stealing a peek into the kitchen and he watched as Steve’s face lit up looking at Amy. He look at her like she held the stars in the sky. Steve brought Amy’s hand to his face and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Her smile told Jim one thing: she was completely in love with Steve Harrington. At nine o’ clock, Amy and Steve wrangled The Party out the door. The kids hurried to Steve’s car, Dustin claiming shotgun. Steve hung back on the porch to say goodnight to Amy. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Aims.” He brushed her hair behind her ear, leaving his hand cupping her face. She took a step forward, closing the space between them, and kissed him goodbye. He smiled against her lips, feeling warmth creeping up his cheeks. He pulled her a little closer, resting his hands on her hips. He kissed her like it was New Years all over again. Fireworks and all. They heard the sound of knuckles on glass and turned to see Jim, peeking through the curtains of the picture window at them, shaking a finger ‘no’. Steve dropped his hands from Amy’s waist, but she clung tight to his sweater, wanting to keep him for every possible second. “Goodnight, Steve.” Dustin honked the horn; curfew was nigh. Steve looked back to the car. “Well, I gotta run, Aims.” He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, turned, and rushed to his BMW. She watched him leave; it was her least favourite thing to see. “I love you,” she whispered, knowing he wouldn’t hear it. Amy was sure that her father would have something scathing to say by the time she came back in the house. Instead, she found him, brow knit, puffing a cigarette from his armchair. He looked deep in thought. “Hey, Dad, I didn’t know Steve was going to be coming over,” she started to explain. “It’s fine, Amy.” Jim didn’t pull his attention from the TV, even though he was staring through it. “Ok, well, goodnight,” she said, sheepishly. She could feel the tension radiating from the armchair, but this time Jim wasn’t fighting her. This was different. He was pensive. “Goodnight.” “Love you, Dad,” she added, before heading up the stairs. This brought Jim’s attention from the TV, a warm smile dissipating his worried thoughts. “Love you, too, kiddo.” * Amy was thrilled to see Steve sitting at his desk, next to hers, where he belonged. He bit his bottom lip upon seeing her, but it didn’t stop a goofy smile from creeping across his mouth. “Hey, Aims.” He grabbed her wrist and pulled her down to meet his lips before she took her seat. “Hey, handsome.” She pulled back and sat down. “Did I get you in trouble last night?” His worry was sincere. “Surprisingly, no. Maybe a couple more well behaved games of D and D and my dad will be over himself.” “I hope so.” After school, Amy went to watch basketball practice, which meant Steve was too distracted to notice Billy, who was already aching for revenge, hurtling the ball at his face. Steve blinked away the tears pooling in his eyes and felt the blood trickling down his lips and chin. He brought a hand to his face as reality washed over him. “Steve!” Amy called from the bleachers, mad as hell, and determined to have Billy’s head. Billy goaded him, “Catching the ball with your face now, Harrington?” Steve wiped his nose on the back of his hand and tackled Billy to the floor. The testosterone got to the boys on the court and pretty soon both teams, despite being on the same team outside of practice, started taking sides and wailing on each other. Billy rolled over and pinned Steve, bringing a fist above his head, ready to knock Steve’s lights out. Steve remembered what it was like to be on the receiving end of Billy’s unrelenting fury and he braced himself. But Amy grabbed Billy’s wrist before he had a chance to take a swing. She pulled Billy off of Steve and Billy shoved her hard enough that she toppled backwards and crashed to the floor. Steve was furious and dove for Billy once again, but this time, Coach Masters caught him by the back of his shirt and yanked him to standing. Steve twisted out of his grip and helped Amy up. “You ok, Aims?” he asked, worriedly giving her a once over. “I’m ok.” She wiped at the blood on Steve’s lip with her t-shirt. “Your bitch is pretty loyal, Harrington,” Billy taunted. Steve moved to take a step towards him, fire in his eyes, but Amy held him back. Coach Masters shouted, “Hargrove, you’re done for the next three weeks. Harrington, you’re benched for the next game. And as for the rest of you, practice is over.” He looked past Billy’s hateful expression to Amy. “Miss Spencer, you can join the three of us in the principal’s office.” This time, Jim made the journey to the school. He burst through the door of Principal Hendricks’ office where Amy was still waiting. Steve chose to wait with her, prepared to take the blame. “Amy, I’ll meet you in the truck.” It wasn’t a suggestion. “Dad-” “Now, Amy,” Jim barked. She looked to Steve, hating whatever was about to come, and then she travelled out the door and down the hall. Jim turned his attention to Principal Hendricks. “May we have the room?” Principal Hendricks wanted to be involved about as much as he wanted a hole in the head, so he nodded and swept out of the office without another word. Steve watched him go, realizing he was without allies. He looked to Jim, who was seething. Jim grabbed Steve by the front of his shirt and pulled him out of his chair. “You really are stupid, Steve.” Steve batted at his hands. “She just came to watch practice.” “You’ve landed my daughter in the principal’s office twice since January and you’re going to stay away from her.” “No,” he said, defiantly. “Excuse me?” Jim couldn’t believe Steve would have the balls to try it. “I won’t. She’s an adult and if she wants to see me, she should.” “No, Steve, she won’t. Because I won’t have my daughter corrupted by your irresponsible bullshit. You’re a loser and she deserves better.” Jim’s words hurt more than the stinging pain of his battered face. Steve was terrified that he’d amount to nothing as he’d watched everyone surpass him over the last six months. Jonathan had Nancy. Billy had his crown. What Steve had was Amy and she was worth more than anything to him. And now he wasn’t good enough for her, either. He was wasted potential. He was a fuckup. He was a loser. Jim let go of his shirt and stared him down. Steve didn’t meet his eye. Jim slammed the door to the office on his way out, leaving Steve with what little opinion he had left of himself. Steve walked to his car, pausing when he got inside to look at himself in the rear view mirror, blood caked under his nose, a small split running through his bottom lip, marring his handsome face. He hated what he saw. He was a defeated shell of himself. When Steve threw himself into being a good boyfriend, he lost his place at the top of the food chain. When he was no longer a good boyfriend, he lost his identity. Steve didn’t know who he was if he wasn’t giving himself to someone or everyone. Then he’d met Amy, she didn’t know about the last eighteen years of his extended performance piece aimed at being loved. She liked him for who he was. And who is was wasn’t good enough for her. Every part of him suddenly screamed for him to run. She might think he was good enough right now, but as Jim’s words twisted around his heart, Steve knew she’d come around and see things her father’s way. She’d see Steve for what he really was. A nobody. Forever Tags: @tearsforhan
I need a min 🥲
"I wish everyone had gotten to know him. Really know him. Because they would've loved him" - Dustin Henderson
i’m sorry but after doing a complete byler-goggled rewatch of stranger things with my best friend and talking about this shot after will yells ”forget it, mike!”, i am willing to bet my life that this is the first time will has EVER yelled at mike, and mike most definitely does NOT know what to do about it
so, naturally i had to gif it, and after slowing it down you can really see the sequence of emotions that flash across his face, even in this brief period of time. he starts off shocked ( even appearing to flinch slightly ), before his expression turns to a look of anguish, followed by what literally looks like total heartbreak. he almost looks lost, in disbelief, shaken up, confused
and when you think about it, this is mike’s best friend in the whole entire world of nine years, who again, i can all too easily imagine has rarely so much as raised his voice at mike outside of playful banter and dnd enthusiasm. their entire relationship has revolved around such love and care expressed towards one another, and when taking into account that not only does mike have a well-known will voice™, but will 100% has a mike voice™ that’s much the same in tone, being yelled at like this by him is detrimental to mike, and understandably so
kind, compassionate, soft-spoken will byers, reaching the end of his rope to such an extent that he’s lashing out like this directly at the person who means absolutely everything to him, the person he’s in love with, who has always been there for him up until this fateful summer, in which he feels like he’s losing him along with the last fleeting remains of a broken childhood that has already been so tragically ripped away from him. this is not to fault him for such a reaction in the slightest
i’m not okay
I was having a decent day, until I remembered a brief, easily-missable side story in one of the first levels of Bioshock 2, where a school teacher and a group of children on a field trip end up trapped in the amusement park level you’re in when the civil war started, and how you hear from her audio logs how she willingly gave up her own food to make sure all the children were well-fed, eventually finding a final audio log on how she realizes she’s dying from starvation but still worries about the kids she’s watching, and you find this audio log by a corpse positioned in a resting pose surrounded by candles and drawings and stuffed animals and I’m sobbing oh god -
you didnt understand, and i couldnt explain.
I keep seeing people talk about how hard Joel was trying to cheer Ellie up, and you're right, but can we also talk about how hard Ellie was trying to be her old self for him. How she was desperately trying to make herself sound happy, apologizing for being quiet, trying to smile for him even when she probably didn't think she could.
They were both just trying so hard for each other.