But Not Any Other Way - Tumblr Posts

The way people describe memories with such vivid detail and nostalgia will always be wild to me. It always feels like an exaggeration, like they must be partially making it up. Not that they're lying, but they're embellishing the memory to make it seem so much more magical. But then, I remember that that is how most people talk about their memories. I see it everywhere. Is everyone exaggerating at the same time? No. It seems real. They seem genuine. Their memories really are that rich for them. So impactful and emotional.

I watch a lot of video essays. I love hearing people passionately talk about certain topics. I like hearing people talk about games. And the way people can describe their first time playing something blows my mind. The excitement, the wonder, the joy. You can hear in their voice how much they cherish those feelings. It's so important to them, something they'll hold dear for their whole lives.

I don't have this. Towards any piece of media, or any type of event. I get excited, I have fun, I get swept away by hype, my heart can be ponding in my chest as my hands shake. I know, factually, that these things happen. I know, factually, that I could have been buzzing with so much excitement that I couldn't sleep. But I have no idea what any of it felt like. Memories that should be important to me, like me graduating only a few months ago, are reduced to a list of flat, emotionless facts.

It's not something I can re-experience.

I can't cast myself into the mind of myself from the past. I merely have the facts of the past being interpreted by myself from the present.