C. W. Armstead - Tumblr Posts

Colors dance to my hearts steady drum

My throbbing body driven nearly numb

Each scratch down my back, exquisite pain

Peculiar pleasures of a madened brain

Moans and sighs enrapture my ears

Lustful music of heavenly spheres

I can not help but be pulled in

Our bodies twisted, bathed sin

Only the stars witness the sight

Of the little death we died tonight

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

I've been staring at my reflection in the mirror for hours now. I keep wondering where exactly I got lost. I don't recognize myself; maybe I never did...

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

You have no understanding of how desperately I love the stories your body's imperfections tell.

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

I don't know how to love, at least not anymore. I think perhaps being able to love and be loved is a skill that few have, and many more forget.

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

Duality's Edge

Duality's edge will strike true

Straight at me, but not at you

Soon then we'll all be free

Even you, even me

Then swiftly comes our time to die

Certainly you but never I

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

Pledge

Pagan drums in the night

Secret ritual beyond sight

Naked bodies dancing, entwined

Clasping hands in sacred bind

Pledge of body and soul, and mind

Love forever, transcending time

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

Look My Way

The suffering of a love unrequited

Afflicted with mounting joy despite it

Through peculiar addlement of brain

Transcending pleasure; embracing pain

All for dreams of increasing folly

Absorbed too deep in melancholy

Having lost hope, accepting doubt

That feverish beating, I ripped it out

Scalding my heart in sulphrus flame

I scarcely even knew your name

And yet you stand before me still

A haunting dream I cannot kill

Exacting upon me a heavy toll

The loss of my eternal soul

A price I'd all to eagerly pay

If only you would look my way

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

My Demons Won...

My demons won last night

I awoke alone, unable to fight

Familiar madness claimed my mind

My failing sanity could not find

A surcease, to torments so far, so near

Whilst empty faces did appear

A wicked smile, a cursed grin

The despair and panic forced its way in

And now, no dreams to bid me sleep

I tear my flesh and only weep

For lustrous,shimmering bygone days

Before my passions and loves parted ways

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

A Time To Bleed

I'm sending a message. Please pay heed

The time has come for me to bleed

Far into the dark, shattered land

With staff and athame I'll make my stand

Tenebrous shadows swell; assault the light

With a flash of magick into the fight

Should you find me at the final rest

Know I passed that solemn test

My soul rides on strong medicine; free

Into the sacred eternally

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

Deeper Darkness

If you've never felt desperation

How can you know me now

The heartache and desolation

Feel like home somehow

When what's good is abandoned

And you've cried and ran away

You lack the strength to stand and

To face another day

When the pain is so welcome

And no more your foe

When that time has come

You will then truly know

Why I embrace my deeper darkness

And let my demons grow

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

War

The sounds of drums echo through the hills

The beating heart of war

Blood awash throughout the plains

To bleed forever more

The reality of a bitter siege;

You will come to find

Rages on forever more

Deep within the mind

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

Bloody Knife

I cut deeply to free your heart

Only then to see,

The bloody knife was in your hands

And the one who bled was me

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

Living

It's now a lonesome latter night

Far into my elder year

And a shadow enshrouded entity

Draws perilous ever near

And now the dreams are memories

That dance across the spheres

Each wink of brilliant color

Is drowned by flowing tears

For I have drank deeply

To soothe my growing fears

A tincture of great power

To speed my aging years

So, as my sweet angel's

Pallid face finally appears

I know I'll soon sleep deeply

Far below the pyres

Now the maddening fever

That throbbed within my brain

Shall no more continue, nor linger

With ever mounting pain

Now I rest so soundly

Nary a trace dare remain

Of the vast sickness that is "Living"

That throbbed within my brain

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

Finally

Finally, at last, the moment has come

I'm battered and broken, my body is numb

As I lay at full length, the demons have won

You may think poorly, of me in defeat

But I tell you truly my victory is sweet

No more trials are left to complete

And so may I rest in this plot

To no longer ply an earthly lot

Sleeping, eternal in this spot

While I lay sleeping at peace in my head

So contentedly, I lay at length in this bed

You can not help but think me dead

But do take heed, whatever it seem

As I asleep, awake from this dream

Embracing realities glorious gleam

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

Holding On

How many loves have I carried

How many broken hearts

Is it any wonder I fell apart

All of me broken, scattered to the wind

Bereft of my soul, where to begin

Still I hold on chasing echoes of you

Now, at my last, what more can I do

My heart is full of holes, I cannot fill

A heart bleeding from you and still

I'm holding on, draining my will

Death gathers like smoke, moves in for the kill

My path is clear, and my mind is set

As my life and light fade, I'll never forget

The look of you, your taste, your feel

Pieces of you that are still real

I'll make a way to you. My passion remains

Driving me forward despite the pain

I'm still holding on, I thought you should know

I'm still holding on though you've let me go.

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

It can be sublime, bittersweet, and terrifying to experience someone becoming who they always were.

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

We are the manifestation of all their grief and all their suffering; we are the fulfillment of all their rage, all their hatred, and we are owed a debt of blood on their behalf. Either yours or someone else's. Choose now.

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

To My Mentors, My Saviors, and My Lovers

The light behind the eyes has faded

The muses long forgot

The nephilim dreams all invaded

By a world that broke the plot

Psions of our worst iniquities have gathered for the feast

And now, no love, no inspiration can quiet the yowling beast

Once, there were so many saviors that light could only grow

But now, after so many failures, where did they all go?

Pierced upon prides great folly, they've broken all their wings

Tell me then my mourning witness, can you accept such things

Who remains to ressurect great Osiris?

Perhaps the dreamers know, but too far fled are all their lovers

I don't believe they'll show.

A path too long trodden by fools that can not comprehend

And once the last Satyr stops his mournful dance

That's when the nightmares win

So my grace is slow and falters lost, yet not forgot

But my courage fled long ago and left me here to rot

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

I do not know how to achieve victory. All I can do is endure and hope. Whether I'm saved in the instant or forgotten and lost; the world will go on spinning, so long as someone can dance on it.

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr

We are all of us in turn, user then used; thus, the shameful cycles repeat time and time again forever.

C. W. Armstead, scruffysatyr