Cho Sangwoo - Tumblr Posts
Oh Ilnam: You can't hold me accountable for my actions I'm literally neurodivergent and a senior citizen. Oh Ilnam: How tf was I supposed to know gay people get attached to other gay people that quickly.
Sangwoo: Merry Christmas, in lieu of gifts kill me in my sleep.
gihun: How's it goi-HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED?
sangwoo: Jiyeong sicced wild ravens on me because I got into a fight with Saebyeok. They listen to her apparently? I would be mad . If I wasn't incredibly impressed and frankly terrified, I wasn't aware something like that was even possible if you weren't like,,, a Disney villain.
Jiyeong: Sure, you don't believe in tooth fairy, but does she believe in you? Sangwoo: I don't know !*starts sobbing*
Sangwoo: Han Minyeo give me your axe. Han Minyeo: My what? Sangwoo: Your axe? All women carry one?
Han Minyeo: Why would I carry men's deodorant. Sangwoo: Are you fucking stupid, why would I use deodorant, what am I? A frat boy? The tool! Han Minyeo: WHY would I casually be lugging around A FUCKING AXE? Sangwoo: FINE what about a blow drier? Don't tell me you don't have a blow drier.
Han Minyeo: Cho Sangwoo, have you ever, in your life, met a human woman? Sangwoo: I don't have time for this, Jiyeong! Saebyeok! Y'all have a blow drier? And an axe? Saebyeok: Duh, what kind of woman doesn't carry an axe.
Jiyeong *pulling out blow drier*: Of course I'm not an animal!
Gihun: You never know the next person you meet could be he/him. Sangwoo: You sound like you googled how to talk to your gay friends.
Gihun: Yeah!
sangwoo: in about five months imma be your second spouse
ali: w-what happens to the first ?
sangwoo *narrowing eyes at junho*: lol nothing the cops can prove!
gihun's wife: so how are your stonks sangwoo bestie
sangwoo: keep pissing me off Karen and I'll fuck your husband
gihun: really?
sangwoo: no! get off my dick! thirsty ass ho *storms out fumbling for a cigarette*
Ali: You'll never leave me right?
Sangwoo: Are you kidding me, why would I do that? You're gonna get custody of all my friends in the split if we break up. Literally none of them like me more than they like you.
jiyeong: ass or tits?
saebyeok: serotonin
gihun: respect
sangwoo: money
ali:...tits
Gihun: What that tongue do? Sangwoo: Talk shit and lie.
Sangwoo *crying*: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.
Ali's ghost: Gay gay homosexual gay
Airport Security: Are you guys carrying any weopens or contraband? Jiyeong: Nope. Sangwoo: Just these bombass tits Jiyeong: And this dynamite pussy.
Security: Whose cocaine is this then? Jiyeong: Omg lol who put that in there?
Sangwoo: I don't like babies they hold their arms out and I think they like me for me but then they pull my hair and snatch my glasses and I think to myself , I have been scammed. Absolutely humiliating.
Also Sangwoo with Ali's baby: Oh you like my glasses? You can have my glasses, you can have my contacts, you can have my eyeballs. You can just claw them out with your little chubby baby fingers. Yes you can! Who's strong like his dad? You are! You could just yank my eyeball out like yo-yo, little Hercules. *starts making unintelligle baby noises* Ali: Hyung your babytalk is freaking me out. Baby: *giggles*
jiyeong: i like how you guys pretend to be accepting about everything but when your friend suddenly shows up in your home, moves in and goes through all your stuff you're offended?
jiyeong *barges in on Sangwoo ugly crying*: Bitch we need to have a chat about you tryna kill my girlf- hey c'mon don't make me pity you shady gay boy, it's the gateway to me adopting you.
gihun: if I punch myself and it hurts does that make me strong or weak. ali: it makes you strong! oh ilnam: it makes you weak, pussy. sangwoo: interesting so the dilemma here is, is your pain tolerance low or your strength high. for this you need to collect data from other canditates and compare. punch other people and be punched.
jiyeong: yeah do it !
saebyeok: it actually makes you an idiot.
saebyeok: you did this you told the guards about my knife cho sangwoo: i was levelling the playing field!
saebyeok: yup you sure did! *bitch slaps him* sangwoo: You can't hit me! saebyeok: sure i can Slut! jiyeong: stop the violence. gihun: hey hey !what happened to us being a family? saebyeok: oh please he has a ~brotHeR~
sangwoo: walk away! and fix your bangs! saebyeok *combs through her bangs with her fingers violently*