Crimeboys - Tumblr Posts
ermmmm... a chicken !!
c!crimeboys and growing up
don't piss me off
arginnit truthers how we feelin?
(do not repost/alter my work pls)
the emperor’s chicken is about a man who became the ruler of an unknown land on the basis that the only animal in all of the land, a little baby chick, loved him
Help I've been infected with crimeboys
Just smthn a lil dumb
DSMP DCW AU
Tommy and Wilbur had known each other for ages, sticking together and helping the other survive on the streets rather join than the sick games played, or specifically, Survival of the Fittest for cash. One day, they happen to come across an opportunity from a certain agency asking for help.
The agency, more like a pseudo-government of New Earth welcomed them in, and there they trained. There, Tommy met Tubbo, the two quickly becoming best of buds.
Now came the day where they were finally called in to do research on a new planet they discovered- Eden-227. A snowy wasteland with unknown origins.
Of course, they were a trio, so they'd need two more members as the agency usually had sent them in groups of 5, so in came Phil and Technoblade. Of course, the trio never met the duo, but they'd have to make up for it due to a lack of agents.
-----------
SBI + Clingy Duo [Possibly Bench Trio] but in a roblox game called Decaying Winter, lmao.
Honestly I don't know why I did this [chapter 1's out but will most likely never get a follow up]
i just got the idea one day and completely spent all my motivation for that work. whoops.
if anyone wants they can take it and do their own thing with it ig?
lemme just.. character notes.
-----------
Tommyinnit:
Shit at using guns and would probably shoot someone's eye out REALLY immature (though claims otherwise) Gets a little queasy at the sight of blood and doesn't like taking someone's life Too weak to use long and heavy weapons Sovereign
Tubbo: Besties with Tommy Doesn't really like resorting to violence but does it anyway Hivemind Support Class
Wilbur Soot:
Pledge 1 "Experienced" Probably would've been a musician if it weren't for his current occupation Likes to sing Treats Tubbo like another brother Usually kills for Tommy and Tubbo Hands get really shaky sometimes and is quick to break Couldn't use a gun for shit Started before Tommy and Tubbo due to them being underage Blitzer (Explosives) Philza: Pledge 8 "Veteran" Zealot (Shield) Technoblade:
Pledge 9 "Legendary" Berserker Vagabond Doesn't really like children or socializing Would protect Phil with his life hes taken the first calamity serum, the one that made him a heartless killing machine, which gave him voices. due to that, he doesnt need to take the serum to beat people easily. The others will question this, or more specifically Tommy. The newcomers don't get told about the old serum, nor how it gave it's users voices. Because of that, he has enhanced strength and speed. He switched to Vagabond. Ranboo:
Ranboo, trapped on Eden-227, to eventually come across the group of 5 and join.
Of course, the agency are strict on their rules.. They may not be able to bring them all back.
-----------------
..okay. so. story had a lot of flaws. aka it was awful at world building, kinda just went in head first instead of doing much else, and uhh...... a little too much lmao?? i didnt really have much plan besides the fact that i kinda wanted wilbur and tommy to encounter the hanged demon, or as my notes say,
'Wilbur and Tommy encounters the Hanged Demon. Tommy encounters it first, screaming and backing up, which Wilbur is alerted, though not seeing it. "Toms?" Then he sees it, breath hitching, and suddenly thoughts invaded his head. It felt unfamiliar. It wasn't his, but he couldn't help the sudden urge. [insert.. uhh.. urge to die thoughts here] Tommy is uselessly trying to shake Wilbur out of it as Wilbur shakily holds the knife up. Tubbo notices, alerting Techno that the duo might be in trouble. Techno steps in and takes it out.'
and then possibly around night 5 or so they encounter ranboo? maybe. i dont really know anymore and its all.. really awkward and im not actually sure how to make the dialogue go lol.
I just kinda had this wheel full of DCW items [and then another for demons]. uhh.. theres over 100 items and i had to double what it had in empty so there's somewhat of a fair 50/50 randomized chance of what characters find?? it was kinda hard lol. Of course though for the items, there are SOME things that are not there, mainly just I believe the Stims [personally they were always a struggle to remember what what did with their pretty complex names and it was gonna be hard to keep track of it all as the nights go on, and so it was kinda just hard.]
ALSO. DCW lasts for a total of 10 nights, kinda like a wave sort of thing with a period to go and scavenge for things. the enemies, or SKAVs that come along the way grow stronger with each night, and by the third night once they deem you as a bigger threat will come in with guns.
there's also the infection that spreads through your body throughout the game you have to manage and keep low or you die, but uhh.. thats.. also hard, and even harder when the randomizer might never even get the stuff you need to be able to decrease its progress?--- so yeah.
also heres the trello with my notes that i tried to manage with lmao- i just have so much stuff its quite literally a mess. though if anyone picks this up, i suggest learning to play the game [its easier with someone to teach you because there isnt a tutorial as far as im aware]
also we're pretending Last Stranded, the latest and last expansion to the game is not canon [actually zero idea if it is canon but still].
ALSO! DECAYING WINTER HAS AN OFFICIAL TRELLO IF YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ITEMS AND ETC.
heres the fic link. warning you, its bad.
cwilbur, mid insane spiral: The world I built with my own two hands, the place I made for all of us, and they tear it all down the moment I am not there- They dare ruin my great symphony, my magnum opus-
ctommy, repairing wilbur's trenchcoat: thats nice wilbur 😐
cwilbur, so offended at being dismissed it genuinely wakes him up from his insanity:
one of my favourite ccrime dynamics is when cwilbur starts getting all sad and tortured and dramatic and ctommy is just not having it at all. man's fucking bored
psstt hey cmere
closer...
them :D
some dsmp!crimeboys for you because I miss them
THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT EATING SAND VS EATING DIRT THEY ARE SO SIBLINGS I CANNOT COPE WITH THIS
(sand-eating brother and dirt-eating brother, You Already Know Which Is Which)
psstt hey cmere
closer...
them :D
some dsmp!crimeboys for you because I miss them
THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT EATING SAND VS EATING DIRT THEY ARE SO SIBLINGS I CANNOT COPE WITH THIS
(sand-eating brother and dirt-eating brother, You Already Know Which Is Which)
Living the billionaire lifestyle TommyInnit has. He has a million dollar mansion and his personal older brother bodyguard who had to come and save him after he d0xx3d his location on stream with 70k viewers.
Tommy truly is a menace to society. Even himself.
Can we talk about tubbos stream today because so many people are saying that’s the starts of Wilburs new ARG and I believe them 110%.
For those of you who weren’t watching cause it was a pretty long one I’ll summarize? I’ll give timestamps where I can, it’s from tubbos most recent vod “HALLOWEEN STREAM”. If you don’t want to read all of this, I’ve dropped the link. Start at about an hour and ten minutes in, and I’ll be summarizing the next 25ish minutes when things get weird
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1185798005
So there was a point in the stream where Wilbur hopped into Tubbos chat, Tommy saw he was there and opened up his phone to call him. Tubbo offers to use his phone so they can connect to the speaker, but Tommy brushes him off and is like no no I want to do it like this. So he opens his phone and he reads out “texts” he got from Wilbur. Now this didn’t seem weird at the time it’s just upon the second watch back it’s strange. For context everyone went bobbing for apples earlier so a bunch of people still have visibly wet hair. So the messages Tommy reads out are
“Stop going on your phone you’re in an important stream”
“Why is everyones hair wet?”
“What’s going on?”
“Why is it (lit?) like one of you is going to die?”
Again this in itself is not abnormal trust me ok you’ll have to read/watch it twice
He immeadietly picks up the phone and goes to call him (1hr 10 min in)
I’m going to try incredibly hard to write out what I can understand but Wilbur often isn’t on speakerphone and there are like 5 other people talking so this won’t be perfect this is just the best I can do, sorry. Please let me know if you can figure out or edits things I can’t and I’ll edit them in here so it’s as accurate as possible. I think it’s important to note that Tubbo seems to know what’s going on. I think Ranboo does too. He doesn’t act weird but you’ll see he really helps push tommy in the right direction. It’s also worth mentioning Wilbur does not sound like he usually does. His voice is way lower and gravelly (edit this is incredibly long I’m so sorry I’m trying to only include what I think is important in terms of dialogue)
(I use T and W for Wilbur and tommy since they’re used so often, everyone else is just names)
*calls Wilbur*
T: “Hey Will, hey Will it’s going a little wrong. They can’t hear you. Could- *to behind the camera* Do you want to get Will out here on the speaker but only I’ll speak to him yeah?
Tubbo: “okay-“
T: *to tubbo* “wait can I go speak to him bout the thing?”
Tubbo: “Why?”
T: “cause I need to make sure it’s going ok”
Tubbo: “Where are you going?”
T: *gestures behind camera* “Just over there so I can put on the headphones while I’m speaking to Will”
Tubbo: “what? Wait no you won’t be able to because there’s no mic connection to my computer, it’s not gonna fucking work”
T: “well you just said we could put Will out on there” *gestures off camera*
Tubbo: “well we can put Will out on the speaker but not-“
T: “wait no no no, Tubbo says no. Sorry Will just me and you. What’s up Will? *glances at camera, turns to Tubbo* can they hear me?”
Tubbo: “no but they’ll be able to hear you talk-” *points behind camera*
*tommy gets up and moves behind Tubbo to get closer to the camera mic*
T: “yeah yeah no Will it’s ok, it’s just that Tubbo keeps giving me and the others weird challenges we have to do like squid game, he won’t stop, he wont, I keep saying things I don’t wanna say you know?” *pause* “yeah, and he said he was gonna put me on the (Lamborghini?)”
*camera switches so we can just see a closeup of Tommy’s arm as he talks*
W: *unintelligble*
T: “ok let me go over here with”
*camera switches back to normal, Tubbo glances at Tommy, now off camera*
Tubbo: “Can you not move the- stop moving shit”
*camera switches again, close up of tommy talking to Wilbur*
“I don’t know why the room’s-”
Billzo (who Im fairly certain has no idea what is happening): “No don’t give him the attention, he will carry on doing this, he will carry on doing this”
T: “No, no no no sorry you lot keep going, I’m just gonna, I’m just gonna speak to Will, sorry, so sorry” *turns camera back to table, he is out of frame again. Slight pause. This next bit is hard to figure out, Tommy’s away from the mic. Unintelligible for a bit* “Yeah Will and they kept making me do weird shit Will”
*Wilbur is on speakerphone now, Tommy moves into frame*
W: “you should, you should fight them all, one by one”
T: “fight them all?”
W: “Yeah, who do you reckon you could take down first? You could take one and then go one by one, around the room and-“
*Badlinu, Aimsey and Tubbo’s heads all turn to Tommy upon hearing that. Billzo just looks confused. Ranboo is ignoring all of it which indicates to me he also knows what’s happening*
T: “Probably the girl, but she’s proper nimble”
W: “but, but that means they’ll be difficult to fight”
T: “Oh shit. Ok. Probably Bill.”
Billzo: “Bro I would absolutely spin your jaw you muppet, don’t give me that.”
T: “He, he said he’d spin my jaw Will”
W: “is Bill’s full name William?
Billzo: “no it’s not what, stop this, stop this fuckin-“ *gives up and goes back to the pumpkin*
T: “yeah I could beat the shit out of a William, yeah”
Billzo: “my name’s not William! Your- his name- his name is Will that’s half of the fucking, ok” *gives up again, back to pumpkin*
T: *still to Wilbur* ok, ok I’ll go for William”
Tubbo (unrelated) *holding the pumpkin* “I have to stick my hand in this don’t I?”
Aimsey and Badlinu: “yeah”
T: *to Will* “ok so whats this, what do i do cause the knives are out right now.”
I really wish I could tell you what Wilbur is saying here but it’s so mumbled. Glimpses I can catch sounds like he’s telling Tommy to cut the Internet and then grab the pumpkin knives
T: “That’s not gonna penetrate anything, if I wanna do some slicing and dicing, I’m not gonna be able to-“
*the main focus here is on Aimsey and Billzo who are currently fighting over the knives. It’s basically impossible to hear what Wilbur is saying but from context clues, I would assume he’s asking Tommy if there’s any other things that could be a weapon in the room”
T: “Tubbo, Tubbo! Are these tripods heavy duty?”
Tubbo: “In what sense?”
Tommy: *to Wilbur* “Tubbo says in what sense what does that mean”
Tubbo: “like. They’re made of fucking plastic.”
You can’t hear Wilbur’s response but we can assume it’s clarifying
T: “Tubbo, if I was to be bashed over the head with one of those tripods would it konk me out for good?”
Tubbo: “the metal one yeah”
T: “which ones the metal one?”
Tubbo: “the orange one, the one made out of metal”
T: *to Will* “Tubbo says if I use the one closest to me I could-“
The rest of that chunk is unintelligible as ranboo is currently comparing the inside of a pumpkin to a womb. I don’t know how to process anything other than that statement within this. But you can hear Tommy stop talking quickly and muffled whispers of Wilbur telling him something.
T: “but I’ve never wielded (bow staff?) (other people have processed the womb statement. Good luck hearing over that)
W: *incomprehensible question*
T: “Pardon? *Wilbur repeats question* No, I’ve never used a water staff
Aimsey (currently dealing with tommys discussion right beside her but this seems more in reaction to Badlinu asking Ranboo if he has ever reached into a womb before and him casually responding yes) : “what the fuck is going on?”
T: “pardon?”
W: (I’m guessing here) “nunchucks?”
T: “i mean you know I’m good with nuning but no chucking”
W: “ok, ok so your best bet right is. Can they hear me?”
T: “No, no they can’t.” (We can. They can. Tommy ignores this. Billzo’s face here is hilarious. You can tell no one told that man anything)
W: “ok good right right so here’s what you’re gonna do right you’re gonna go up behind Tubbo right now and you’re going to make-“
T: “wait wait sorry what’s that?. What am I gonna do behind Tubbo?”
The room has gone dead silent. Special appreciation for Billzo and Aimsey who seem to have given up on understanding despite being very confused and have just gone back to the pumpkins.
Wilbur clarifies, but it’s muffled.
T: “oh ok cool cool”
Tubbo: (has been ignoring Tommy this whole time, this is the first time he acknowledges hearing any of this) *lighthearted and joking* “I don’t wanna play anymore, I don’t wanna play anymore”
Tommy finally appears back in frame, crawling behind Tubbo
T: “Can I go down quite sneakily?” *he’s standing on what looks like a window ledge, directly behind Tubbo* “Ok cool? Can we- We gotta win this contest Tubs!”
Tubbo: “I- I’m gonna”
*Tommy moves the phone between him and Tubbo, it seems to be on speaker now*
T: “We gotta win this contest Tubbo!”
W: “Tommy tell him, tell him he’s gotta win”
*tommy is now doing bunny ears behind Tubbo’s head now*
T: “you gotta win!”
W: “Tell him he’s- tell him- he’s- it’s it’s Easter, happy Easter
T: “Happy Easter, happy Easter!”
Tubbo: *clearly unnerved a bit* “thank you bro”
T: “Will, Will this positioning it ain’t gonna last for too long” (understandable he is very precariously balanced)
W: “Ok we’re done, ok collapse now. Collapse.”
T: “ok” *falls*
Tubbo: “oh god oh fuck oh ok there he’s gone”
Ranboo: “oh that’s right on my omnicord”
Not a single person here is concerned. Everyone just seems mildly annoyed. Tubbo and Ranboo are simply inconvenienced. Tommy is hidden behind the table on the floor. He’s clearly having a conversation with Wilbur but you cannot tell what any of it is. The next distinguishable thing we get is
T: “Tubbo, Tubbo’s looking at me with that glance in his eyes, like he’s gonna do something to me”
Tubbo: “dont, don’t do that”
*Tubbo appears to be having a conversation with tommy, about what is unclear. Based of what happens next I’m assuming Tommy is telling Tubbo what he needs him to do and what’s about to happen. Tubbo nods*
T: “ok ok Will, ok” *stands up, back in frame, clearly unnerved* “yo one sec guys! Ay, excuse me! *forced laughter as he moves behind Tubbo*
Tubbo: “yeah after you you can still-“
*silence. It’s awkward*
W: “every single one of them.”
T: “every single plug? Ok every single one.”
W: “powering the- powering the stream cause”
T: “ok all the plugs”
W: *unintelligble*
After a few seconds, everything cuts to black and is silent. It’s like the stream crashed, but it hasn’t. We can assume tommy has unplugged the camera and the mic? It stays that way for a few seconds before audio and visual return. I’m fairly certain only audio was meant to return, but the camera is back too.
T: “ok, they should all be off”
W: “now now, put me on the mic”
T: “alright alright I’m putting you on, I’m putting you on”
W: “hey there tubbos chat. It’s me, Wilbur soot. I’m here to wish you all a spooky Halloween”
T: “oooh”
W: “and a happy autumnal vibe for you all. I hope you are having a marvellous evening, I’m not.”
*this is really cryptic and weird but Billzos face is still visible and that man is so damn confused it makes it much less scary. Everyone kinda cracks up and laughs at this including tommy, the timing was really funny*
Billzo: *to wilbur* “you wanna talk about it mate?”
W: “who said that to me?”
T: “that was William”
Billzo: “bro my name’s not fuck-“
W: “I don’t, I don’t speak to Williams sorry”
Billzo: *aside* “my names not William-“
T: “good man good man. Uh tubbos there, tubbos carving with a lot of gumption”
Tubbo: “gumption?”
Billzo: (very clearly confused and mildly annoyed) “can you, can you sit back down? What is up with this?”
T: “ok do i need to sit back down Will, what’s the strat?”
W: “uh well what you can do is um. Take the pop filter off the microphone just-“
*billzo and Tubbo overlapping*
Billzo: “no, no do not, sit down! Sit down! The bit is over we get it”
Tubbo: “no no it doesn’t come off it’s glued on youll break it no no don’t take that shit off”
T: “they’re trying to break the fourth wall Will but I won’t let em”
Billzo: “the bit-“ (I think it’s worth noting at this time that Billzo either has no damn idea what’s going on or is a really good actor. I don’t know enough to say which but either way, valid)
W: “ok, ok here’s what you’re gonna do. Do you see that window? Can you get outside that window.”
*Aimsey, Tubbo and Ranboo overlapping*
Aimsey: “no, no, no. No!”
Ranboo: “no, no you can’t”
Tubbo: “i reckon he can”
*tommy walks away, we can hear a door open and close. He is now outside*
Ranboo: “oh wait, no he Can actually”
*they close the curtains so he isn’t visible, Tommy knocks on the window. Tubbo opens the window so you could hear him. Tommy presses his face against the glass and is like. Basically eating it. He continues knocking*
Tubbo: “What, what are you doing?”
I think it’s important to note at this point that ranboo leans over to Billzo and whispers something into his ear. It seems like an explanation, because he seems to finally understand what the hell is going on. Body language changes to more confused. He stands up for a bit but sits back down when tommy comes back inside. Tommy moves to the camera and places his phone right beside it.
W: “I don’t know why he did that chat, I don’t know why.”
*tommy breaks for a second to laugh at him. He actually seems to break for all of this. He’s basically back to normal.*
T: “No fuck you I’m leaving I need to help carve Tubbo.”
Tubbo: “whAT?”
T: “Tubbo your window tastes quite pleasant”
Aimsey: “what the fuck?”
T: “does anyone have a coke, I need a, I need a palette cleanse.”
Tubbo: “you left it outside with your bottle, your bottle is outside.”
T: “could you see that? On the camera?”
Tubbo: “yeah very clearly”
*Tommy goes outside. Badlinu follows him to the door. Tommy is outside*
Badlinu: *to Tubbo* “does this lock?” (The door)
Tubbo: “yeah, lock it”
Things are normal for about a minute. Badlinu closes the window. Tubbo glances back outside for a second.
Tubbo: “no no ok let him back in this is literally sabatoging me”
Badlinu moves to go and unlock the door. If you thought things were kinda normal up till now this is what sparked my genuine “something is really not right”
Tommy SPRINTS up to the window from outside, and slams his hands on it. He’s screaming “no, no” in a very “don’t come out here” manner.
T: “No, no! Stay in here! Leave it locked! Go sit back down!”
Badlinu: “I’m unlocking the door”
T: *running his hands through his hair. Clearly very distressed. At this point if it isn’t a bit of some kind something is seriously wrong.* “No go back!”
He springs away from the window. We can’t see him anymore. Badlinu sits back down.
Tubbo: *nervous laughter* “what the fuck Is he doing”
We are now 1hr and 20 minutes in. Everything goes back to normal. Mild passive aggressiveness, but everyone ignores it. Unphased. Tubbo occasionally makes side comments being like “hmm. Where did Tommy go?” Aimsey offers to look for him. Tubbo says nothing. She actually leaves the table around 1hr 21 minutes. It’s unclear where she goes, but she’s back within the minute. The next time Tubbo mentions tommy being gone she says he wasn’t outside, she thinks he went around to the front of the house. She officially leaves the table to go search for him at tubbos request, but returns with no luck. At 1hr 25 minutes, Tommy rushes back into frame in the window outside. Aimsey goes to open the door, but we can’t see tommy yet.
Aimsey: “what the hell have you done?”
Tubbo: “why is he covered in fucking MUD?”
Ranboo: (intense) “what did you DO?”
Aimsey: (soft) “what did you do?”
Tommy sits where Aimsey was sitting. He looks BAD. His eyes are dead. This is what I imagine c! Tommy in exile to look like. When I saw him walk in that was genuinely the first thing I thought. Like guys for context for a better picture he looks like this.
Aimsey is concerned. Tommys eyes are totally dead and he does all he can not to laugh at the jokes people are making. Aimsey says he looks like a plant pot, and is pulling grass and leaves out of his hair. She goes to grab his face to try and wipe the dirt off, and tommy gently reaches up and pushes her off of him going “it’s fine, it’s fine” this is the first time he’s spoken since he came back in. He moves to go back to his spot beside Tubbo. Aimsey is the only one who seems genuinely concerned and that’s the key factor in telling something is planned. Because Tommy looks MESSED UP. And even Aimsey let’s it slide pretty quick. Everyone makes jokes and tries to ask what happened. Tommy says nothing. He doesn’t react. He just stares blankly at nothing. He talks once to tell Tubbo he has no idea what design they’re doing, but he’s still very clearly out of it. It genuinley reminds me of exile streams, especially with the way his voice is. He brushes his hair slowly to the side at one point, and Ranboo reaches his hand out towards him. He backs away from it, raising his hand to push ranboo away from him. His eyes are unchanging. Ranboo seems mildly concerned, leaning towards him and whispering something in his ear. Tommy pauses for a second and let’s out a small smile as his gaze shifts to ranboo. Ranboo seems to say something, and tommy shifts his gaze back to staring at nothing.
There’s a point where it goes silent and Tubbo turns to tommy, and gently asks him “are you okay?” Tommy says nothing. Doesn’t acknowledge him. His talking is basically non existent. Aimsey asks him at one point if he wants to talk about it and he just slowly shakes his head no. He looks proper fucked up. Just to give you some group context.
By this point people realized something is up and this might be ARG related, because no way in hell is this normal anymore.
He leaves the screen 1hr and 30 minutes in. He says he’s just gonna go to the bathroom. He comes back 5 minutes later. Looking like this
He’s totally fine. Back to his regular self. Despite the change from the red sweater to the blue hoodie, and getting cleaned up? That’s it. Like he’s totally fine, not acknowledging any of the last 20 minutes. There’s nothing else i remember seeing that was like a red flag throughout the rest of the stream. It was just like this 25 minute segment.
I know this is long I’m sorry I just tried to include all of the important details I could. Please feel free to send me edits to the dialogue, and I’d love to see your thoughts in the reblogs!! Cause i think this is definitely something, Wilbur’s ARG or not.
@hopefully-not-the-ghostbusters here’s the summary for you