Dark Writing - Tumblr Posts

Ｔｙｐｅｓ ｏｆ Ｙａｎｄｅｒｅｓ ＢＴＳ Ｗｏｕｌｄ Ｂｅ

Synopsis - Pretty simple, a set of hcs describing BTS and their tendencies as Yanderes

Warnings - Acts of violence, branding, mentions of kidnapping, Literal murder.

Authors Note - I'm going to be constantly filling my queue with headcanons just to keep you guys fed with more content, most of it will be fandoms I want to write for yet don't really have the time for a full fledged fic

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

Jin - Delusional

He will actively treat you as if you'd been together for years

Somewhere deep in his mind he knows that you two are not actually together but why would he face that reality when he could just change his own

Slowly as time progresses and he has you stuck in his clutches he's going to drive you to the point of believing the fantasy he's been living

When Jin kills he makes up some excuse that's he'd had in his head, like a guy you'd known for a while the entire time was stalking you and waiting for the perfect moment to kill you! He swears!

He'll begin change memories and things you for sure know about yourself

It's all in a futile attempt to change his reality to be yours as well

Namjoon - Overprotective

Joon will go to war over you

If anyone dares to touch you he's instantly onto them, attacking, yet he picks his fights well

Being connected to money knows men in both high and low places, willing to do anything for a buck

Joon will never get his hands dirty messing with shit like that. He's too busy pampering and protecting you to worry. Unless it's a instant thing that he can't wait to maliciously organize. He will take that risk to make you safer

Yet his overprotection is smothering, he'll lock you away and make you believe that your in danger 24/7

The world is dangerous and under his care you'll be safe and loved!

Yoongi - Possessive

He loves making the world aware of how yours his and his only

You belong to Yoongi.

He'll show that possession based on how you act, be good and he'll leave a few hickeys and what not, nothing too big of a deal

Yet act out of line and that turns into more permanent means such as tattoos, which he will gladly pay for

This possessive side of him also comes out when it comes to the people you surround yourself with,Yoongi often picking your “bad” friends off one by one claiming that he knows what's best for you

In the end your utterly alone, Yoongi controlling every aspect of your social life, always seemingly upping the stakes everytime you act out of line

Hoseok - Clingy

He can't live without you

So anytime you get iffy and are about to leave he makes threats to not harm you but harm himself keeping you trapped in this perpetual loop of not leaving him out of pity for him

This man will spend every second with our and if he doesn't he swears he's dying

If you aren't living together, he will blow up your phone 24/7 and even a couple of minutes late he goes into a frenzy and blows up your phone even more, then using that as an excuse to come over

Once he sees that your fine he just kind of stays there not wanting to leave, and he will find the smallest task to do in your house

When it comes to him actually taking out people he sees as bad for you, he does that in complete secrecy. He didn't want to scare you away

The one thing about him is that he rarely gets mad because by him getting mad he can scare you away and why would he ever want that

Jimin - Manipulative

Jimin can lie like a mf.

He's probably done it straight from the start, using his persuasion to make himself more appealing to him

The worst part is that Jimin remembers his lies, so he keeps up with what's he's told you and what he hasn't

A prime example is that he's told you that Wednesday nights he gets busy with hanging out with his friends, a form of designated him time. That was a cover up only used once while he killed a perv that came on to you constantly at work, but Jimin kept this up always leaving Wednesday nights, having that be some sort of allotted time for him to get his anger out and fuck up anyone who fucks with you

He's also always painted others a villian when you find out about some of the things he'd been doing, like telling your friends off and demanding for them to leave you alone

Hed claim that they'd hurt him or were planning to hurt him, and how could you say he was wrong, he was the most honest man you met your entire life

If you only knew how often he'd been lying just to keep you around

Taehyung - Obsessive

He has a shrine. That's right a shrine.

That's how obsessed Taehyung is.

His shrine is filled with little things he's kept as a form of remembrance to you. Like a strand of your hair or a pair of your panties he'd kept after snooping around in your room

And he will not let up his obsessive stalking and spying when you eventually decide to get with him and be official

When it comes to murder he has no qualms with doing it, plus he can just keep on hiding and hiding it

He just hides it better, and most his behavior is seen as romantic to you since well, you are a couple

He just doesn't know how to act in a relationship… right?

Jungkook - Self Indulgent

Literally everything he does with you or too you is for his own gain

Being with you, all apart of his own gain. Not only are you attractive but you will stay with him no matter what he does out of fear! That's perfect for him

He's a creepy dude, and won't shame you for thinking that, he's powerful too. His status just speaks for itself

Even when he kills for you, he makes sure that he gets some gain from it too, without that gain for the both of your or the couple as a whole, why would he even worry about it

Ｈｙｐｎｏｔｉｃ ＭＹＧ

Synopsis - You go out to rockstar Agust D’s performance. But he gets one look at you and is hooked instantly.

Pairing - Dark! Yandere! Rockstar! Min Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Warnings - DUBCON, drug induced sex, acts of violence, gaslighting to the extreme, kinda kidnapping

Authors Note - As you can tell I'm writing for all the members lol, also sorry your mom sucks

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

He was so cool.

Agust D was performing right in front of you, the front row to his concert being the best view you could ever ask for. He was so passionate in his craft and you were entranced. All his songs showed the time and effort going into them and the fact that he loved performing them. Even if it was such a small venue and audience.

Hell you had to beg to even be allowed to go and you couldn't even be more happier if you tried.

Then he made eye contact with you. You could feel your breathing stop as he smiled and winked before continuing back to performing. God you could nearly faint.

The entire rest of the night you were filled with butterflies, Agust D noticed you of all people. Or maybe it was something he did with any girl he saw, and you were just blowing it out of proportion. Whatever it meant it didn't matter, you were going to ride that high all the way to the end.

By the time the concert ended and you could finally leave without being bombarded by a mass of people leaving at once you reached inside of your small crossbody bag to grab you phone. That was until you were interrupted by a hand touching your shoulder, making you jump.

You turned around to see a buff security guy with a clipboard in hand. “Ma'am, your wanted backstage.”

“Did I do something wrong!? I'm so sorry if I di-”

“None of the sort, actually Mister Agust wants to see you and I'm here to escort you there.” You darted your eyes all around before looking back up at the man.

“Is this like a prank?” You finally ask raising a brow.

“Nope. But I will say that we don't usually do this and to be honest this is my first time even seeing him request someone to be brought to him, so no. This is very much real.”

“Holy Shit! Do I just like- oh God!” You began to freak out fanning yourself with your hands as the guard laughed and smiled at you.

“It's okay ma'am follow me.”

🎸

And you did all the way until you reached a room with a shiny metal plate with the engravings Agust D dead in the center. The guy knocked for you a low hum being heard from the other side in response. “Hey, it's the girl you wanted to see. Do you want her now?”

“That's a dumb ass question, of course I do.”

That was him.

It was really him

The guard nodded at you and left leaving you to actually open the door. You hesitated the door handle wiggling in your grasp, and you took a deep breath before walking through the door.

He sat there in all his glory, on his couch messing with a guitar. Agust D… His orange hair fell, covering his eyes. The same ones that stared at you right now.

You found your hand going up to your hair and nervously played with it as he made his way over to you. It was a bad nervous tick you had and you couldn't stop it. “I love your music, so much Mr Agust D!” You finally pushed out all in a single rush of confidence.

“Call me Yoongi baby,” He got up from his position and put the guitar on it's stand before making his way over to you. He eyed you up and down, stopping whenever he stood right in front of you, his eyes looking into your own. You could see the sweat sticking his hair to his forehead. “God your even prettier up close.”

“You think I'm pretty?” You began freaking out again looking everywhere but him.

“Of course, you never heard that before?” He snickered out, still working on tuning his guitar. The way his hands moved, had you in a daze.

“No actually, and thank you.”

“Yeah,” He patted the empty spot on the couch next to him. “Come sit.” You moved to where you sat all the way to the other side of the couch making sure you didn't interfere with what he was doing. “I'm pretty sure your familiar with the fact that this is my last America show before I head back home right?”

“Yes of course!” You basically blurted out. You groaned before placing your head in your hands letting out a small sorry. Yoongi laughed, and you swore it was like bells chiming, the sound making your body heat up even more than it already was.

“And well I was going to leave as soon as possible cause y’know I wanna go home n shit. But, then I saw you tonight.”

“Me?” You added surprised, still not believing the situation you were in right now.

“Yup, you. With that pretty little lacey top. Anyways here I am thinking wow I really want to get to know this girl better, but I can't do that if I leave. And I decided, how about I just hang with you tonight?”

Yoongi was now looking directly at you. But if only he could see the inner turmoil you were experiencing right now. You had to get home and call your mom to pick you up, orrr you could spend your night with your idol and just get a ride with him later on.

God you were going to regret this.

“I would love too! Was that too loud?”

“No, not at all. It was adorable. Come on let's get the fuck out of here.”

🎸

Yoongi was so different from his persona.

He had taken you to a quiet late night dinner, letting you order whatever you wanted and more just to make you happy. This was drastically different from who he presented himself as on stage. But you loved the duality in it all. The entire time he would tell you about all his travels and what he's working on. And you listened to everything he said, his life being much more exciting than your own.

“Shit I've been talking about myself this entire time, I'm so sorry about that beautiful. Tell me about you.” Yoongi leaned back taking a sip of the coke he got for himself.

“Well um, I'm taking a gap year right now before I switch majors, so I'm working to make a little money for myself.” You spun your straw around in the milkshake be practically ordered for you. He said you deserved something sweet in your life, and that it was his treat. Honestly it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for you. “I'm staying with my mom until I get things straightened out with buying my own space. And that's really it honestly.”

“So no like real friends or anything?” Yoongi asked sitting back up to lean on the counter.

“Nope.”

“Well take it from me, you deserve more in life.” Yoongi placed down his drink. “No one really deserves to be alone like that.”

You looked away giving a small smile. “Thank you Yoongi. You know I never expected to be hanging out with you tonight. Your world is so different than mine. I usually have just sit at home and done nothing. So I think what I'm trying to say is thank you for taking me out.

“It was no problem, I enjoy hanging out with you. Plus it's just a bonus your cute.”

“Pshh stop it, there's so many other choices.” You downplayed his attraction to you, he shouldn't try to even say things like that.

“Yeah but I choose you. And there's no changing that.” He took out a sharpie and took your arm, slowly beginning to write. When he was done you saw he had written his number down your arm. You smiled at him and he gave a even wider one back, showing his gums. “It's pretty late, let me get you home. Plus I got a flight to catch tomorrow.”

🎸

Sneaking into your house was harder than you thought for as soon as you stepped into the door your mom was in the kitchen, with the lights on eyeing you like a hawk.

“How did you get home?” She questioned bluntly.

“A friend got me, the traffic was horrible."

“Don't lie to me. Your friends are all home and no where near here. So. Let me ask you again. How did you get home?”

“I walked.”

“At this time of night?! Do you know what the fuck could've happened. You could've gotten hurt, I could've lost you.” She lamented. Her hands slammed into the table in frustration. Yet you just kept quiet and refused to look at her. “Oh now you got that dumbass look on yo face like you did nothing wrong.”

“Okay.”

That's all you had to say. It's all you could muster to say. Then you turned around start heading to your room down the hall. All while she kept yelling at you for god knows what. You refused to let her see you cry, she can't have that power over you.

🎸

The next few weeks of your life couldn't be more perfect. You spent every waking minute talking to Yoongi. He'd constantly show you what he'd been working on and his friends back in Korea.

He even called you every night.

“Baby I want to get you over here immediately.” He'd said one night while you got ready for bed.

“Yoongiii you know I can't do that. My mom won't even allow me to go on a vacation in America on my own.” This was a frequent topic of conversation for the two of you. He had wanted you over with him so bad. The thing is that the two of you aren't even a thing yet. For all you know, your just friends.

“Well I miss you, and I don't have another break in another week or or so.” Yoongi groaned out. “A week is pretty long to me atleast.”

“Oh you can wait a week. Then you can come visit and we can hang out again.” You hoped he didn't put that much thought into your dismissiveness.

“Fine, only because it's you.”

“I'm going to have to like beg my mom to let me out the house again on my own.” You say looking behind you. The door was closed, which meant she probably wouldn't barge in your room and hear what you were saying.

“Aren't you a grown woman? Why does she care what you, as a grown woman now, does?” Yoongi did have a point. You were 19, and honestly you wouldn't say that's a reasonable age to refered to as a grown woman. But still he had a point.

“I mean yeah, I just don't want to severe that connection to her.”

“Yeah but she walks all over you, I just want you to be alright that's all. You know I care about you.”

That could've made you faint with how hard you were swooning. You made a mhmm noise before going silent, maybe you could put some thought into cutting off that tie with your mom.

🎸

As you were getting ready for bed about a week or two later a knock resounded at your window. You walked over and opened the blinds seeing Yoongi. In his iconic leather jacket and black pants. You jumped back, you weren't expecting that at all. You opened the window allowing him to crawl in. “Wow your room is more cozy that I'd expect. Anyways get some clothes on, I got a room somewhere and we're going out.”

“But my mom!?” You whisper yelled.

“Fuck her! I came all this way for you. That means your important to me. Which also means that god damnit we're hanging out tonight!”

“I can't say no to do that I guess.” You slipped on a jacket and a pair of boots. “But we can't go out the front door, Jesus I haven't snuck out since like ever.”

“That was never my plan, we're going out the window.” Yoongi hopped out reaching his hand out to take yours, pulling you out. Your hands held the glass and you slid it down the furthest it would go. That was until you were interrupted by Yoongi pulling you to a motorbike. “I rented it out just for you, I have way more at home. I also just wanted to scare you a bit.”

“Ahh. I'm so scared. Let's go before she looks out the window.”

“Fine fine, hop on.”

🎸

You'd been in his hotel room for quiet a bit by now, just chilling with your idol. It was strange, this was a scenario you could only dream about. Yet it was now your reality, his arm around your waist pulling you in close to him on the couch.

“Can I let you in on a little secret?” Yoongi moved to where his lips brushed over your ears. You nodded. “I've wanted you so bad ever since I saw you during my set baby.” The way he let the word baby run off his tongue. Your panties instantly got damp. “Would you let me have you?”

“I umm. I haven't done that type of stuff before. I'm still a virgin- Plus I don't want to just be a one night stand thing…”

”Oh so that's the issue… shhhh don't worry, I’m not going to leave you high and dry, haven’t you always wanted to sleep with a rock star? Sleep with me?” Yoongis hand trailed down your chin his smile growing on his face. His thumb pushed down on your bottom lip.

You nodded shyly, watching Yoongi lean in, connecting both of your lips together. You hummed into the kiss, melting instantly. He wrapped both of his arms around your waist pulling you in even closer, both of your bodies heating the room instantly. He pulled away going to latch himself onto your neck, leaving a dark purple mark as he pulled away. “Take off everything, I want to see you.” Yoongi whispered huskily leaning back into the couch. You worked on taking off your clothes standing up to get everything off. Yoongi picked up one of his half burnt blunt and took a deep breath in, smoke billowing out of his mouth. Earlier he'd had this big smoke fest and you could've swore you were contact high at some point.

At this point you were fully naked and were just watching Yoongi slowly take off his shirt and jeans, only leaving himself in a pair of Calvin Kelin boxers, showing his dick imprint. He raised his hand motioning you over, and you did, almost in a trance as he took another hit groaning into the blunt itself. He grabbed your hand pulling you down on the couch and kissed you, pushing smoke into your mouth. You choked and gagged on the secondhand smoke, the experience burning your throat raw. You jerked away coughing harshly, yet Yoongi smirked at you setting the blunt on a ashtray nearby.

“Fuck that hurt huh? I'm sorry baby…” Yoongi said half dazed. “Pull off my boxers baby, I need to feel you.” You stopped heaving to go for Yoongis boxers, collapsing on the floor in front of him. Your knees bruised on impact making you hiss, your fingers hooking onto the band and you slowly pulled them down. His tip was flushed red and pre leaked down his length. Yoongi looked back down at you, hand reaching out to let your head. “Suck it baby.”

“I-I’ve never done this before…”

“That's alright, I can teach you. Wouldn't you like that?”

“Mmm…”

“Kiss the tip.” You reached up and kissed the head of his cock slowly. Yoongi hissed and moaned out his grip on your hair tightened. “Like that, just like that…” The whole experience felt weird, this isn't something that you usually do, your mom for starters wouldn't like this. Yet here you were in front of your dream man and you couldn't feel anything but a harsh distinction from your normal self. Yoongi pulled your hair snapping you out the mindless set of kisses you gave him. “Hey, Hey not to much, now lick the underside, then take it into your mouth.”

“Yoongi, I don't know about this… My mom doesn't even know that I'm out right now.” Yoongis hands went to your cheeks lifting your head up and bringing his down.

“You want this don't you. Don't you want me?”

“I'm just saying-”

“Don't question this, don't question what's destiny baby.” Yoongi let you go grabbing the blunt again. He took a deep puff and blew it on the top of your head, afterwards leaning down and planting a small kiss to the top of your head. Your hands trembled as you took him by the base of his length and licked the underside of his cock. Yoongi groaned and you kept going licking up pre and swirling your tongue around his head. You took a break and came for air. Then you began to take him down your throat. You instantly gagged but Yoongi held your head down, and began to fuck your face feverishly.

You began to beat on his thighs, looking down and seeing bruises beginning to form. But he just kept groaning and fucking your face. “I'm about to cum! I'm gonna fill that fucking face.” And he did, cum shooting down your throat. You pulled off your mouth having a weird cloud like feeling to it. The slime coated your tongue and you tried to scrape the feeling with your teeth. But Yoongi gave you no time to recuperate as he pulls you up by your underarms. He sat you next to him on the couch. His hand sat on your thigh and he leaned over to sit his head on your thighs. Moving your thighs and moved your body to be fully on the couch. He pulled your thighs apart and kissed on them feverishly.

“If I got to cum you gotta cum too baby… I want you to be just as happy as me. Plus I just love eating pussy.” He then dug his face in-between your thighs, kissing and sucking at your bud. You gasped out and bit down on your forearm, trying to keep quiet. But Yoongi looked up and grabbed at you, pulling the arm away. “Make all the noise you want, show me how good I make you feel.” He got back to work and groaned into your cunt. You could feel his tongue prod at your hole, beginning to tongue fuck you. His hands came to rub at your bud pushing you close to your release.

“Yoongi! I'm… I'm gonna-”

“Do it, do it for me.” Yoongi ordered sitting up to look deep into your eyes, his hand pressing down on your mound. You followed close in release, cumming all over his hand. Yoongi brought his hand to his mouth licking at your juices. “Fuck that tastes good.” Yoongi leaned down kissing you again and you looked past his head and saw the clock. It was damn near 2 in the morning. Your mom would definitely realize that you were gone but now.

“I have to get home, probably already knows I snuck out.” By reaching for your phone and looking at all the missed calls and texts from your mother.

Mom: Where are you honey?

Mom: Are you somewhere the house?

Mom: I know you snuck out, you left a damn crack in that window.

Mom: Pick up. The phone.

Mom: I'm not in the mood to play with you.

You freaked out even more slipping on your bra and dropping your phone. “I even smell like sex! I'm-” Tears welled up in your eyes. “She's going to kill me! I don't want to- want to-” You could barely finish your sentence.

“You don't have to go.”

“What… what are you even-”

“You can stay with me, think about it. Free of worries. Hanging with a Rock Star… Don't you want that? You've been wanting that. You told me, you want freedom.” Yoongi only slipped on his boxers and a robe he has strewn out in the room. He made his way over to your worried form. His hands massaged at your shoulders, head falling onto your shoulder. “I have everything ready, I just need your say so.”

He kissed your cheek and and his hands felt at your hips. “Really? You'd do that for me?”

“Really… baby I love you so much all I want is to live with you. Breathe in you. I want you so bad I want to die with you.” Yoongi whispered into your ear. “All that time you spent talking to me I've only fallen further and further in love with you.” He smiled continuing to kiss at your neck.

“I… I guess.”

“Then stop worrying baby, I'm here for you, I'll always be here for you.” Yoongi smiled at you popping off your bra once more. He reached around and gave you his jacket, motioning for you to get back on the couch. In which you did, the stress immediately coming off your back.

Maybe all you had to do was let him take the wheel for once.

🎸

At the airport you stood with Yoongi waiting for his private flight. He kept you close, hand around your waist every once and a while kissing the top of your head.

Yoongi couldn't be more happier. This was such a blissful peace. But his phone rang in his pocket disrupting that peace. “Yes?”

“It's been done boss, no trace of her or her mother.”

“Both are gone, never to be traced again?”

“Yes sir.”

“Thanks knew I could trust you guys.” Yoongi hung up tending back to you.

“Who was that?” You asked.

“Nothing you gotta worry that sweet little head about. Now come on we're going to be late for our flight.”

Black Heart a single strand of red

Pulsing at the beat of your heart

Desire in your eyes, Green and Brown spiraling down a black hole

The hope, The despair, The Black and the White

A hurricane of opposites

The abyss stretched onwards the meadows at back

We stand on a thin line

One step away from devastation or salvation

Swaying in the wind you standing tall, rooted firmly on the edge.

Steading against the barrage of voices demanding Vengeance. Justice. Blood.

The voices quieten when you are near the darkness receding the red pulsing.

Insanity to sanity

But for how long?

Its a tale as old as time the light always wins.

And I am the darkest of the dark, you lightest of light.

Never meant to stand together

Fated enemies

Defiance is never in ones favor

How long before the balance shatters?

Before oblivion greets us

Before the winds turn to Gail’s

A tornado uprooting the strongest of roots

The red snuffed out.

The path to redemption is a slippery slope, the enticing darkness against the judgment of the wronged.

Who prevails?

The white, The Dark the scales are tipped

No one wants a monster for a friend.

Never mind the single strand of red.

Pulsing. Beating. Feeling.

Shattered Hearts

Screaming voices

The crack of Whips

Were the Melody I heard

Broken Backs

Rivulets of Bloods

Were the things I felt

The hangman's rope

The rolling heads

Were the things I saw

Burning flesh

Rotting corpses

Were the things I smelt

That was my life

Growing insanity

Feared across the realms

Till a curse scattered it all

You came into my life

Like starlight

People see the monster

Not the the history that made it

They see the facade

Not battered soul beneath

You looked beyond the horizon

Gazed into the depths hell

Unafraid of the caged lion

You offered a hand

Your gentle touch

The hope in your eyes

Your refusal to give up

Brought down the steel walls of my heart

Laughter of the children

Giggling of the young

Is the melody I now hear

The softness of your skin

The brush of you hair

The breeze in the air

Are now the things I feel

The light in your eyes

The smile on the faces

Are now the things I see

The scent of your perfume

The scent of rain

Are now the things I smell

You are my salvation, the balm to my soul

The light that brings the dawn, the shield that guards my heart.

My tether in this world and beyond

Bruises upon bruises

He left me black and blue

A single mistake shattered my dream

The sound of steel still echoes through the darkenss

Empty eyes staring up at the sky, the smoking car, and the stench of wine.

My childhood stolen, slipping away from my fingers like loose sand

A deal made

A bride sold

A man has his rights

And so begin the solemn hours

A decade passed, smiles turning false and brittle

Society moved faster, knowledge behind their eyes

None dared rise against the demon

They trembled under his gaze

As I tremble under his touch

Then you came in like a blazing ball

igniting a spark I long thought extinguished

Hope flickering in the darkness

Your gentle touch a sharp contrast against the harshness

You noticed that everyone had

But you did not turn away as others had

You stood against the demon like a knight

But I am no damsel in distress

From porcelain to ivory to steel

With your silent courage

Your presence in the shadows

I took the knife

Flesh parting as butter

His skin had never felt so sweet

With Gasping breaths, and disbelief

the demon turned to boy

A broken shell, he was no real man

For men don't take they earn

And those who take they fall

You looked at my blood-soaked gown

At the madness dancing in my eye,

At the body still warm

And you smiled

Oh, Monster of my Heart

They tell me you are gone

Yet

I hear you in every creek

I see you in every flickering light

Knees up, back against the wall

I lay wide awake

Oh, Monster of my heart

Why do you haunt me so?

Have you not done enough?

There is only so much a mind can take

Virtual or Reality?

Truth or Lie?

Are you a conjuration of my mind?

A taunting hallucination

A waking nightmare

Oh, Monster of My Heart

Why do you tease me so?

Is it your hand I feel?

Tracing the lines of your masterpiece

My bruised battered body

The cold on my neck

Is it a breeze or you breath?

The voice in shadows is it yours or the Neighbours?

Your scent lingering in the air is it fresh or Stale?

Oh, Monster of my heart

Stop taunting me so

Are you here or not?

Why did you leave me so Alone?

Help Yourself 🚩 (my red flag men dark poetry reading)

Letters by Kayla Renee

The ghosts come out with the downpour of the rain

and the memory of you leaves me barren

Vivid images pass through my brain

It's power- a force one cannot imagine

I am mesmerized by the moth flying in the mist

and the cobwebs gathering in the corner

The moth- he knows utter bliss

While I- I am the mourner

Mine is a soft and delicate heart

It pains to write you these words

Tear drenched letters- I do not know where to start

I long to simply fly off with the birds

The light of the lamp is blinding by my side

blurring my vision as I write to you my goodbye

A piece of my heart washes away in the rain

and each word that I write breaks a piece in my chain

"How tragic of the fate of the lover who was left behind..."

Gonna slap a big ol' trigger warning on this one.

TW: Repeated mentions of death and suicide. Nothing is written in explicit detail, but it is mentioned multiple times towards the end of the story.

So, for those who are curious but don't want to read the story, I'll provide a safe lil' blurb up here :)

Basically, I was inspired by the autosave mechanic in Skyrim (which I've been playing an unhealthy amount of lately). I began to wonder, what would it be like if a character actually experienced going back in time after dying. I ended up writing a pretty extensive story based on such a character; the condensed version of said story is what you'll see below. It's set in the world of Skyrim.

Also I was inspired by "Left Behind" by Reinaeiry. Idk, it's pretty good imo

Anyways enough rambling

Despite being born to a family of accomplished and well-respected mages, Mynarae had little interest in magic and mages. Her passion lied in alchemy, which she had practiced since she was old enough to read and stand at an alchemy table. She was content to craft potions for use by her family, or to sell to other upper-class families, until she learned of the White Phial. Fascinated by the alchemical artifact, she left home to travel to Skyrim in search of it. After learning that its location was unknown, she gave up quickly, but remained in Skyrim to collect as many of the unique alchemical ingredients as she could carry.

During her stay in Skyrim, she settled in Markarth, then began formulating an immortality elixir. Not for any specific reason, but to simply see if she could. The new ingredients provided the creative spark she needed to devise the formula. After years of work, she believed she had finally created the immortality elixir, but held on to it for the time being. There was only one dose, after all, and she did not want to waste it. Her journey and success was shared with a friend she’d made at the local inn, who expressed great interest in her creation.

Shortly after sharing her success, Mynarae was out to gather ingredients in the wilds, when she was accosted by a bandit group. Her “friend” was among them, having told the group about the elixir, and the bandits demanded to have it or they would kill her and take it. Refusing to give up her work, Mynarae fled from the group, drinking the elixir as she went. Enraged, the bandits attempted to kidnap her instead. Too proud to allow herself to be captured and trusting her own elixir to work properly, Mynarae threw herself off a cliff into the river to escape.

She died upon impact against the rocks in the river.

Mynarae found herself back at her rented room in Markarth, just before she shared her success with her friend. Though bewildered at first, she quickly realized that rather than becoming immortal, the elixir had sent her back a brief amount of time. Armed with knowledge of the future, she severed all ties in Markarth, then set off to return home. During the journey home, she joined a caravan, where she met a man named Sidduk, a fellow alchemist. The two bonded over their shared interests, sharing notes and recipes, and grew close enough to fall in love. She decided to move to a little farm with Sidduk, where they would grow their own ingredients…

Then, one day, Mynarae created an elixir that exploded, killing her and Sidduk in the process. She was transported back in time, and averted the disaster. Then Sidduk died from illness, and Mynarae killed herself to go back and cure him. He later died from inhaling toxic alchemical fumes. She killed herself to save him.

He was mauled by wild dogs while tending the farm. Then he was crushed when a support beam gave out and collapsed the roof. Was murdered by a thief while going to town for supplies. Chased by a sabrecat that wandered onto their property. Burned alive when he accidentally spilled flammable liquid onto the fireplace. Got sick again.

Mynarae grew increasingly desperate to save him from ever dying, while becoming desensitized to the act of suicide. She had to save him. HAD TO SAVE HIM!

Then, one morning, she awoke to find that he had left the farm, leaving only a letter. Sidduk had noticed her abrupt shift into a feverish state, and was going to fetch a healer. She chased after her love, only to find his lifeless body amid the wild grasses, torn apart by wolves. Distraught, Mynarae killed herself again…

And woke up in bed. Sidduk’s letter was on the bedside table. No matter how many times she went back, she woke up in the bed every time. No matter how fast she ran to catch up, he was already dead when she found him.

Sidduk was gone.

All her work to save him, only to drive him right into the jaws of death with her behavior, and now he was gone forever.

The grief never truly went away, but it eased slightly after a few months. She buried his body on the farm, then tended to the crops for a while. Sidduk would have been sad if the farm went to ruins, she told herself. He would have wanted her to carry on. She just had to carry on… Until one night months later, Mynarae realized that there would never be an escape from the hell she was now living. If the elixir simply sent her back in time when she died, then she would never know peace. She would never join Sidduk in the afterlife.

Something snapped in Mynarae at that moment.

The grief melted away, replaced by fury and a deep-seated resolve. How dare her own creation treat her this way! She created the elixir, so she would create another that would break the effect! No one would keep her away from Sidduk! Not even her own past actions!

Mynarae became obsessed with finding or formulating a cure. Gone were thoughts of taking care of herself. She would eat just enough to not starve, sleep just enough to keep her mind sharp, protect herself just long enough to gather as many alchemy ingredients as necessary. She couldn’t afford any setbacks. There was too much to do.

She had to find a way to kill herself for good.

The Storm Strikes A Village

You are a child. Young enough to still naively believe in whatever your parents tell you, but old enough to look around and notice the way the people in your village are. Everyone is tired, overworked, underfed, bordering on destitute. If the crop fields ever failed, the village would be ruined.

Despite this, you are friends with the other children. You all play in the fields while the adults smoke and unwind from a long day of farming. You have a hard life, but it's still a good life. It's all you've ever known, so maybe you're a bit biased.

Then soldiers begin marching through. They're all clad in armor. Even the horses wear armor. They troop through the village, following the twisty, dusty road that cuts through the ramshackle buildings. Sometimes the soliders set up camp for the night by the road. You and your friends are warned to stay away, but you're all too curious. Some soldiers mention that they're off to fight The Storm, but other soldiers hush them sharply. To mention The Storm is to bring calamity upon them.

You ask your parents. They have no idea what The Storm is. They tell you it just means a really big storm, like the thunderstorms that roll through during summer. You believe them.

More soldiers come and go. Eventually there are no more soldiers, and everyone forgets quickly. There are crops to tend to, after all.

Then it begins to rain.

The rain is not clean and fresh, like a refreshing kiss upon the dry land.

The rain is hot, and dark, and red. The rain stinks of sulfur and blood. The rain makes you feel sick.

Soldiers are coming again. This time they're coming from the opposite way. They are more tired than the villagers. Most of the horses are skinny and limping, struggling to pull carts piled high with blanket-covered lumps. The soldiers' armor is dented, dirty, stained by the rain and smeared with damp soot. The villagers are avoiding the rain, but the soldiers don't bother. They're already dripping and drenched.

The ground starts rumbling constantly after a while. It started off small, barely perceptible. But now, it's so strong that your bones rattle. Your head hurts and your tongue aches from being bitten by your chattering teeth. Mother fell and hurt her knee because of the trembling, and she looks seasick from laying in bed.

The shaking ground intensifies so much that cracks appear in the muddy ground. People are falling in, breaking legs or twisting limbs. Eventually everyone just stays inside to wait it out. What else can they do?

You're sitting at the window, making faces at your friend, who sits in her own window across the alleyway. The rumbling is so strong that your vision is vibrating, but you're determined to ignore it in favor of your silly game. So determined, in fact, that you nearly miss the shambling figure coming up the road.

It's a soldier, a straggler from the group that came before. He looks... Wrong. His armor is strangely liquid, silvery metal mixing with the muddy red rain. Your young brain struggles to comprehend that the man is being melted by the rain. His skin bubbles and sizzles, steam rising off his body, and the metal mixes with the goopy flesh that sloughs off his bones.

Someone else has noticed the soldier. Faintly, you hear screaming, then more screaming, then more. People are staring in horror from the windows as the soldier collapses in the street, unable to shamble further. The rain has melted too much of his body. All that remains are bones, strangely untouched, while the rest of him spreads in a pool of ugly liquid gore.

Then Mother starts screaming. You finally break away from the gruesome scene through the window. You run to your parents' room, ready to ask what's wrong.

The roof has begun to leak, right into Mother's side of the bed.