Discworld Memes - Tumblr Posts

Lords and Ladies memes WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT

When I listened to this song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hqEFhx8-CQ0&pp=ygUnbmV2ZXIgbWV0IGEgbmljZSBzb3V0aCBhZnJpY2FuIG9yaWdpbmFs , all I could think about was Discworld and Ankh-Morpork.

And I thought to myself: if I can think about it, why don’t I make it?

So… I rewrote this song Discworld-style! No points for guessing who the narrator here is, heh…

I’ve traveled this whole Disc of ours from here to Counterweight

I managed to escape alive from the Sender of Eight

I’ve flown on a dragon and I’ve fallen from the Rim

And I’ve met Death so often I’m a hobby now to him

I’ve been to Agatea, and I shook the ‘ntire nation,

But I’ve never met a nice Ankh-Morporkian!

No, he’s never met a nice Ankh-Morporkian!

And that’s not bloody surprising, man!

‘Cause we’re a bunch of arrogant bastards

Who hate dwarfs and trolls!

I once met a seamstress who knew nothing about sex

I haven’t been eaten alive while traveling Fourecks

I’ve once been in Death’s Domain and boy was it a shock

I’ve once fought a sourcerer with a half-brick in a sock

I’ve got a sentient Luggage and it’s absolutely savage

But I’ve never met a nice Ankh-Morporkian!

No, he’s never met a nice Ankh-Morporkian!

And that’s not bloody surprising, man!

‘Cause we’re a bunch of talentless murderers

Who smell like baboons!

I once controlled an army made of terracotta guys

I’ve been hit on by ladies who were my colleagues in disguise

I’ve been in another world where I’ve flown on a plane

And I have seen the world being created yet again

I’ve met a water troll who lived under the Rimfall

But I’ve never met a nice Ankh-Morporkian!

No, he’s never met a nice Ankh-Morporkian!

And that’s not bloody surprising, man!

‘Cause we’re a bunch of ignorant loudmouths

With no sense of humor!

I’ve met Cohen the Barbarian and he’s got diamond teeth

Thanks to my friend’s diary I’m an Agatean myth

I have met the Lady though I’ve never called her name

Because I’m her chosen pawn in all this goddamn game

I once had a good noodle but I’ve never had a poodle

And I’ve never met a nice Ankh-Morporkian!

No, he’s never met a nice Ankh-Morporkian!

And that’s not bloody surprising, man!

‘Cause we’ve never met one either!

(Except for Havelock Vetinari!

And he’s now on a train to Quirm!)

Yes! He’s quite a nice Ankh-Morporkian!

And he’s hardly ever killed anyone!

And he’s not smelly at all!

That’s why we put him in prison!