Fanfiction Theory - Tumblr Posts

So, uh.. I‘m deranged and just had some shower thoughts on that.

It would be something like this, I think:

Land Rover Discovery

Ford Crown Victoria

I have a few suggestions, if I may be so bold. It is based on a few assumptions, so bare with me (or ignore if it doesn't vibe with what you're trying to do)

-Alastor having a 'fancy city home' and a 'hunting lodge in the bayou'

-Being not nessecarily against new technology but very much against planned obsolescence that became very prevalent in the 2010s and onwards (leading to the right to repair movement, but that is very recent)

So assuming he was very successful at hiding in plain sight, he was never officially 'caught' with his murdery dealings. Hiding bodies requires to have at least a decently sized car and trunk space, as well as tools. That leads me to think that he may have been driving an offroad vehicle just so he can mime the woodsy outdoorsman hunter type. Complete with camping gear, shovel and axe(which he did occasionally use to chop actual wood). Having trunk space available is important for transporting all your….trophies…after all. Maybe also accompanied by bumper stickers that identify him as a hunter.

Otherwise I would assume he drove something like a Ford Crown Victoria. Why? Because it‘s the ‚everyman‘s car‘ - common as dirt, excellent parts availability, inconspicuous in urban environments. Maybe he also failed the ‚Family Guy color swatch test‘ one too many times for his liking, so driving one of these sometimes nets him brownie points with the older police officers who had good memories with this car. Social engineering cops to get off his ass by playing to their sensibilities - „Yes this car is so great, you know, my great uncle used to drive one of these…-„ (while simultaneously cursing about how the clutch keeps catching and how abused the first gear is because the previous owner was a slob….he should have gotten a Toyota 4x4 but that‘s the „terrorist truck“ and that would be telling)

Sry I‘m having way too much fun with this…Just ignore me, it‘s mostly shower thoughts

Sooooo what car do we think Once Bitten Alastor drove ?

I wish I knew more about cars and could give this a thoughtful answer, but I didn't get my license until I was 25 (grew up somewhere you didn't need a car) and so I really am new to the world of having to care about vehicles, hahaha.

I feel like he would have an appreciation for something classic and nice-looking but still functional and not overly expensive. Definitely not the kind of guy to pay dozens-to-hundreds of thousands on a classic car (frankly not sure if he could afford that in the first place) but also giving him a '97 Corolla like I currently drive (extremely widely-produced and thus easy to source parts for, demonstrably keeps rolling 27+ years later, very "if it ain't broke, don't fix it") seems like it's not classy enough. Maybe it was originally his mom's and he inherited it!

He definitely has exactly one (1) carefully-positioned bumper sticker, and it's a tasteful logo advertising his podcast.