Five The Umbrella Academy - Tumblr Posts
The real question is...
Why did netflix made Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, bastard of the Barril, less violent (from the books) when they did Five Hargreeves kill a bunch of people right in the first episode of TUA.
I mean... what was the reason? They didn't have the right song?
Picture watching Harry Potter and the order of the phoenix at 1 in the morning with Five but he’s already fallen asleep laying in between you because he’s tired all the time (and old) and the only source of light in the dark room is from the tv playing in the background…..
what more could you want in life?
started to miss five so I decided to watch the umbrella academy for the umpteenth time which then led to me missing him even more. which then led to me imagining what life would be like dating five now that the universe was reset
(Update: this shit was made before that shithole of a new season came out…so I’m still going to pretend this is what happened instead of that mess of a last season)
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• you and five would find a place in Greenwich village were you live together
• because you don’t have to worry about about saving the world every two seconds you two can actually get some sleep for the first time in ages
• you CANNOT convince me that five is the big spoon. have you seen this man??? he tried to be the big spoon once and wouldn’t stop moving around till you flipped him over and let him be the little spoon [he fell asleep instantly with you embracing him :,) ]
• five is almost always awake before you so most of the time you wake up to breakfast already ready on the table with coffee prepared just the way you like it :))
• if you somehow manage to wake up before five you lay in bed staring at his beautiful features till he wakes up and catches you staring. who wouldn’t stare tho.
•five being the old man he is likes to spend his day at the park observing nature’s beauty and your beauty.
•after a long day of NOT saving the apocalypse you’d come and five being the loving husband he is tries to make dinner for you
•but ofc he somehow manages to burn pasta so instead you order pizza for dinner alongside a nice glass of wine.
• something that became routine after drinking wine at dinner was slow dancing to music.
• one song that frequently plays after dinner is Come In, Mr. Lonely.
•what makes this song so special is that five hardly ever sings but it’s one of the few songs he will sing out loud and it’s because of you <33
• five would definitely hold you close as you both tipsily sway back and forth.
• he seems like the type to whisper “i love you” into your ear while the song plays in the background.
• after dinner you both make your way back to the bedroom where you share drunken kisses and end the night with you hugging five while his head is on your chest and listens to the beating of your heart which makes him go to sleep faster than ever.
FUCK I MISS FIVE SO DAMN MUCH
I’m being delulu so i started wondering (¡again!) what life with five would be post-season 3. But like…he’s a teacher in this…
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* after all his siblings left when Reggie reset the universe you’re left with a mopey five
* you’re both pretty sad the first couple of days having just lost the people you love most :(
* but we don’t have time to be sad we need to get jobs!!!
* im gaslighting myself into believing that five and you have a place to stay the first night in the new timeline instead of being homeless 💀
* five becomes a teacher in the new timeline and you can’t convince me otherwise
* and what do you know!! you become a teacher too :D
* five would definitely teach math while you’d teach history (cuz you traveled through time when working with the commission, idk just go with it)
* while your classes may be a bit hard for the students you two are definitely the schools favorite teachers!!
* i mean why wouldn’t you be? the students can’t get enough of the two mysterious young teachers who showed up out of nowhere in the middle of the school year….
* you two definitelyyyy didn’t threaten the previous math and history teachers to quit their jobs or else they’d be dead by nightfall
* I just know many students are crushing on you BOTH. have you seen yourself lately? You look great ;)
* you both find it funny tho cuz they believe they’re crushing on teachers who are in their early 20s when it’s actually two 50 year olds in their younger bodies
* you two wouldn’t be the type to eat lunch with the rest of the faculty. you’d eat together in each other’s classroom enjoying your time together even if it’s for a short time
* five’s the type of boyfriend/teacher who interrupts your class for the dumbest reasons just cuz he wants to see you :,)
“can i borrow your stapler for a minute?”
“i’m in the middle of class right now”
“Yes I’m aware but i need to finish stapling the students review packets”
“you bought a stapler yesterday…”
“yeah but yours works better”
“OUT!!!”
*your students definitely find it cute :)
* after witnessing playful banter between the teachers that was a little too ~flirtatious~ the students get suspicious of what’s actually going on between their math and history teacher
* “are-are you and mr.hargreeves together..?”
* up until this point neither of you have confirmed to your students what your relationship was with each other
“unfortunately we are” you say with a smile on your face
*after confirming your relationship that day, your students spent the rest of the class asking you all types of questions about your relationship
“how did you and mr.hargreeves meet??”
“how long have you been together?”
“did you ask him out first or did he ask you?”
“why did you wait this long to tell us??”
*when your classes switch out and head to their next class with mr.hargreeves they try and pester him too about your relationship
“why aren’t you married yet?!?”
“ oh wow. i didn’t realize that was any of your business”
* you two are the kind of teachers to always be chosen to be chaperones for school dances.
*five definitely complains the entire night about being tired and wanting to go home
*who could blame him. watching over teenagers for hours making sure no one’s bumping uglies is exhausting
“how much longer till we can leave? This music’s awful. I’d rather throw myself off a building than be here.”
“Five…we just got here”
“What’s your point?”
*after a long night of watching over whore-knee kids, you head home ending the night with curling up on the couch and falling asleep in each other’s arms while The Breakfast Club plays in the background
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i have no clue how to fucking end this 💀
also this shit ain’t proofread
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A year later and this post is still better than the way season 4 ended 🤨🤨
So you ruined your marriage by getting with your husbands brother all for it to not even matter in the end cuz you all fucking die 😐😐