Kaz Brekker - Tumblr Posts

Your honor I love him

Fair warning any and all post I make for the foreseeable future will be either Captain America and The Winter Soldier(White Wolf), or Shadow and Bone/Six of crows related

Being bi while watching shadow and bone is really annoying because at first you're like

And then you're like

The shadow and bone tv show gave me an even deeper appreciation for Jesper. I already love him, but the show made him my favorite character.

Please have this meme I made that I thought was funny

SPOILERS FOR CROOKED KINGDOM!!

I'm fighting for my life in the trenches(this starts after my mom said she wishes Kaz died instead of Matthias)

Also this is absolutely no hate to Jesper, I love him so much, but he did make some pretty big mistakes

I know I said “good 4 u” was at my ex best friend, but I don’t really associate it with her, because my little brother introduced me to it in the same hour that I started reading Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo and I always think of Kaz and Inej because of it. Good times.

This show is my bi panic

SHADOW AND BONE

The choke hold the "I hate everybody and everything but you." trope has me in is fucking disgusting.

Anthony Lockwood 🤝 Kaz Brekker

*being stupid and calling the loves of their lives an “asset/investment” *

Kaz Brekker - The Night of Sorrow

Part 2 here

Warnings: Mention of haphephobia (fear of being touched or touching others), mention of the Menagerie aka selling people, lost family.

A/N: I am not romanticizing Kaz's phobia. The context of this imagine is that the reader has been known by Kaz for a long time, just like for Inej. It is not sudden, or else his phobia wouldn't be his diagnosis. Overall, enjoy and let me know if you want a part 2!

Words: 1.5k

[Kaz’s POV]

Rotty.

What a fool.

An evil and ironic thought came through my mind, making scoff a bit. I do have that painting, though.

Everyone in this club, my club, my Crow Club looked like pitied old fools who wouldn’t be able to hold on for another drink. I walked to my chamber, to finally get some peace from this hellhole.

As I walked through the door, locking the door, I could hear the wet and muddy streets of Ketterdam. My window was always open, hoping to get the humid and wet air from outside into my lungs.

I carefully took off my gloves, hoping to have them refreshed before going further on the night. I heard a slight sound, other than the one coming from my gloves, behind me.

I felt a familiar presence coming out of the shadows; the only person I would let into my personal chamber.

Y/N.

“Hello, Y/N.”

I looked at her through the reflection of the mirror placed in front of me.

“What information do you have for me tonight?”

I watched her slowly pull her hood out and place her mask down to show me her beautiful complexion.

“A lead on a job. A big one. Enough money to change lives.” She spoke with her stern, but sweet voice.

I would do anything for her, but for a job? That is not likely.

“It doesn’t take much to change someone’s life in the Barrel.” I kept scraping off the dirt off of my hands when I heard her heels tap on the floor.

“A million Kruge?” I raised my head, slid my gloves onto my hands and turned to look at her. Closely walking up to her, I felt my heartbeat race at the sight of Y/N.

I knew how promising she was, both being kind and loyal, but also being useful and resourceful.

“What’s the name?” I cocked an eyebrow.

“Dreesen. A wealthy merchant.”

“Dreesen. I’ve heard of him. He could afford it. The question is, what’s worth a million Kruge to him?” She looked nervous, almost scared of what she was about to say.

“He’s looking for a crew willing to cross the Fold into East Ravka and bring back something.”

“The Fold?” She nodded. “Well, of course, certain death pays a million. He didn’t say what he wants nicked?”

“No. But he’s taking meetings tonight, starting at midnight. Don’t worry. I followed him.” A small smirk appeared on the side of my mouth. She was a very fast learner, and a brave soldier.

She told me details about what she saw. I will say one thing: She’s a smart girl.

We both moved to my desk, hoping to set a plan for the night to come.

“Kaz, I got this lead from one of the girls at the Menagerie. They tell me things in case you’d buy them out, like you did with me.” She released shyly. I knew she felt bad about all of her friends.

“I didn’t, I’m paying off your indenture.” She tilted her head impatiently

“You know what I mean.” She stared at me with dark eyes.

“This one girl, Kesh, she has skill. She’s like me-” I swiftly cut her off, lifting up my head from my papers.

“I only invest in the one of a kind. She isn’t like you. No one is.” I felt her eyes flutter in mine. I never had a deep conversation with her, certainly not of this kind.

“Kaz-” She insisted.

“This isn’t up for discussion, Y/N. Now, are you in or not?”

“I'm in." She started walking away, I could see how mad she looked on her face. As though I was never able to touch anyone, I quickly walked towards her and grabbed her hand.

Her skin on my gloves didn’t feel wet and cold, it felt warm and comforting. She turned her head to face me again and most of that anger was now gone. She sighted, and held back my hand.

“I’m… I’m sorry I can’t help them out. I just… I need you. Only you, darling.”

Ever since I’ve met her, I couldn’t explain how I felt.

Something in me was moving every time that I could see a glimpse of her. My heartbeat felt heavier. A drop of sweat dropped on the back of my neck.

She stepped away from me, losing the warmth of her hand. She cleared her throat.

“So, what do we do now?”

“You’re the one who believes in a higher power.” I clenched my jaw, cursing to myself about the last sentence. “If we’re going to survive a round trip through the Fold, we’ll need a miracle or two.”

“Y/N?”

I looked up, only resulting facing my open window, reflecting the street of Ketterdam.

[Time skip]

[Y/N POV]

“Inej?” I called out from the shadows. The small and discrete girl walked out from the club.

“Y/N. There you are, I’ve looking for you for hours.” She took off her hood, showing me her face.

“What have we learned?” I asked sternly.

“Too make it short, we have to find a way to get through the fold, by sunrise.” I raised my eyebrows sarcastically.

“By sunrise? It’s in less than 6 hours. Saints, what is so important to Dreesen?” She looked down and took my hand to lead me somewhere quieter. We walked up some stairs, to Kaz’s chamber. He opened the door, letting us both in. But I looked behind me, only finding the door.

“Where have you been?” Kaz asked as he looked at his pocket watch. “Out.” I answered dryly.

“Inej told me you were by the sea; I know you go there when you’re troubled.” He looked up at me with his beautiful blue eyes.

It was true: I always go there when I don’t feel like myself.

[Flashback]

I jumped right through the window, leaving Kaz to himself.

My only thoughts at the moments were dark and disturbing. I almost ran to the sea, inhaling the salty and humid smell. My heart felt heavy and weird. I don’t know why, but the way Kaz said: “Only you, darling.”. It almost made me feel nauseous.

I’ve never had a romantic relationship before, even just a real friendship. Inej and I were taken to the menagerie when we were young, and well I wasn’t as good as her back then. She was always the better one with weapons, mostly knives. I was always better with a bow and arrow, but it’s not convenient nor easy to find. She was also better to make friends, that is how she got out of the menagerie.

I sat down on the shoreline, admiring the waves of the True Sea. I remembered in my childhood that I would sing to my little brother, Dmitri. My throat started to sing before I even thought about doing it. I let my thoughts drift off, enjoying the time to think about Kaz.

I would be lying if I said that I didn’t feel anything for Kaz. He does make me feel like I’m the only one he cares about. I knew about his past, and I respected his boundaries. In fact, I do believe I was the only one who could walk into his room without getting a cane in the face.

Oh Saints.

I need to go back.

[Present time]

“What is it that Dreesen wants?” I took some papers in my fingers, studying them.

“You didn’t answer to my question, Y/N.” He stopped what he was doing for a second, studying my expression.

“I needed a break, that’s all. Answer to mine.”

“He wants a Saint.” My head snapped to his. A Saint? The only Saint that ever existed was more than a thousand years ago. As if he read my thoughts, he continued his sentence. “A Sun Summoner.” My eyes widened.

A Sun Summoner? Saints, that explains the million Kruge.

“What’s the plan, Kaz?” “I’ll find a way.”

“Are you sure?” He didn’t reply. “Do you want me to go?” I started walking away, but he called me, just like the previous hours.

“Stay, I need your help. Besides, you’re coming with us.” He completely dropped the papers and walked closer to me.

“I can’t leave.” I insisted, showing him my wrist: which had the mark of Tante Helene.

“You will. I have a plan, for you.”

“Bu-” “Don’t you worry about a thing, Y/N. I’ve got you.” He lifted his hand to my hair, taking a deep breath and passing it through my locks. A small smile appeared on my face, as it did on his.

The two lovers of Ketterdam.

The Bastard of the Barrel and the Orphan Hunter.

Even Jesper knew it would happen.

Hiiii

Thank you SO MUCH for the notes on my most recent most! I really really appreciate it!

So, For The Night of Sorrow, I will do a part 2! I do have school, but it'll probably be out tonight or later on the week.

Again, thank you so much for the support and I wish you all the best!

rose <3

The Night of Sorrow-Part 2!

HIII

So part 2 will be out at 4:00 PM EST, which is my time in Quebec. The part 2 is already scheduled for the release. Anyways, I have loads of fun to write it and I hope that you will enjoy it even more than the first part.

Let me know on my Instagram, or even just commenting, if you want The Night of Sorrow to be a whole series!

I will add my socials to my masterlist if you want to send me private comments!

Much love and I'll see you at 4 PM!

rose <3

Kaz Brekker - The Night of Sorrow [Part 2]

Part 1

Warnings: Mention of slavery, mention of Haphephobia (Fear of being touched or touching others), mention of the menagerie, gunpoint(slightly)

A/N: Hello! So Part 1 kind of blew up, and I decided to make a part 2! Here it is, I was in online school today so I had plenty of time to write. I deeply hope that you'll enjoy and let me know if you want a part 3! Thank you so much for the support and enjoy!

Words: 1.6k

[Y/N's POV]

“Y/N? Are you still in Ketterdam?” Jesper snapped me out of my thoughts. I had just spotted a letter from the Menagerie. Tante Heleen wouldn’t normally call me at this hour, but I couldn’t back down now.

“Yeah, Jesper. May I take that?” I pointed to his shot of whatever was in there. He didn’t have time to nod his head, before I chugged it down my throat. The liquid will surely help throughout the night. I started walking out of the club, until I heard the sarcastic voice of Jesper calling me.

“Off to the Menagerie? Want company?” “No thanks, Jes.” I offered a wink from the side, pulling my hood up.

[Kaz’s POV]

Jesper was sitting at the bar alone, just after Pekka Rollins had broke into my chamber. I walked down to the main floor, without my cane for support, but I saw Y/N walking out of my club. She looked scared.

“You all right, boss?” I sighted, stealing Jesper’s presuming shot. “No, but it can wait.” I looked up to him, catching his worried eye.

“The Menagerie?” I asked him, taking a look behind my back. He nodded. “I’ve been warned off the job.”

“By whom?” “Who do you think.” I turned around to face my building.

“Did he remember you?” Jesper asked incorrigibly.

“If he had, I’d be dead.” Unlike Jordie. Stop that. I told to myself. “Sunrise is in five hours. We’ll need something good.”

“Yeah, but we’re off the job now, right?” No, Jesper. A million Kruge means more to me that your gambling addiction.

“Never make decisions out of fear, Jesper. Only out of spite.” I responded to him; more politely might I add.

“Well, greed always worked for me.” It sure did Jesper.

“Go guard the door.” Jesper might mean more to me than I’ll ever admit, but he makes me think of Y/N.

My Y/N.

I’ve never been like this before. I’ve never felt anything else than emptiness and grief. This feeling, ever since I lost him, it was incorrigible. Until I met her.

She made my heart, or else the rest of it, feel alive. She was a part of me and if I lost her, I surely would surrender myself to the True Sea, her favorite place.

Jesper walked out of my sight, letting me deal with the bargains for the night. Even though I had higher priorities tonight, I couldn’t help to think of her.

[Y/N’s POV]

I had just walked into the Menagerie. As though I liked to go there for the other poor girls, I wasn’t with them anymore, not in my heart, nor in my head. The only crew I had were the Wraith, the Sharpshooter, and the Bastard of the Barrel.

As I walked into the office of dear Tante Heleen, she greeted me with her usual lever of greediness. “There you are.”

She walked up from her desk and made me drop my weapons. One knife in my boot, two knives in the back, four daggers in the back armour, two lockpickers behind the ears, and one poison ring.

She still looked at me with her signature look.

Fine.

I dropped my last knife that hid under my hood, offering her a deadly look. “Come, come sit.” I walked up to her office which was filled with tons of unfulfilled papers. “I have a job for you.”

I stopped fiddling with my fingers and looked up to the woman. “I work for Kaz Brekker now.”

“That’s not entirely true. Mr. Brekker still owes five more installments on you.”

“I am not an animal you can trade around whenever you need me, Heleen.” I responded to her sharply, hoping that she would take the hint to find someone else.

“I don’t think that for a second, little fox.” She chuckled. I still wish I had that knife.

I took a deep breath, before I’d explode. “Regardless, I’m on a job.” She nodded.

“I’ve a more important question for you. Do you want to go with him?” I didn’t answer yet, because there is always something else.

“Because you know you can’t leave town without my permission, so… If you want to leave, you must be paid in full.”

“Kaz doesn’t have that, besides I am not your propriety. I never was, and I never will be. I’ll go wherever I desire.”

“Oh, but you are, I bought you from that, what should I call him, your owner?” I stood up, one of her man placed a gun up to my temple. “Here’s the man I need you to kill. Do it, and you will be free.”

The man lowered his gun and let me take the card, which had the address of the person written carefully on it.

I took back my weapons and took off to the place in question. Dear Saints, forgive me please.

I walked off and disappeared in the shadows.

[Kaz’s POV]

I had just seen Poppy, the still upset stealer. Tante Heleen had probably already given the job to Y/N, probably to make her kill the Conductor. I urged myself to reach the place, praying on whoever out there to not make her kill him. As I walked up the stairs, I found her standing on top of the man, knife by the throat.

She wasn’t doing the talking; she was shaking and in clear deny with herself. “How old were you when you were taken? Who are you looking for? Your parents? A sibling?” He stopped talking, as she placed the knife deeper down his throat. “A sister?”

No. A-

“Brother.” We had both thought the same thing. I know how she deeply missed her brother. She could spend days praying to her Saints to give her mercy, concerning her brother.

“He was 12 and I was 15 when four men took us from my parents’ wagon, separated us. I came to Ketterdam on a labor merchant ship. I don’t know where he went.” Her eyes were glistening with tears. “Tell me what I can do to help.” He begged.

“One had a silver tooth. Went by the name of Gregor or Griggs, I can’t remember exactly.”

“I don’t run in those circles, really. You’re likely after longshoremen or stevedores who take side money from people like Heleen.” He was covered in blood, still begging her for mercy.

She hesitated. “If you can’t give me a lead, you can at least give me my freedom.” She pulled up her knife almost cutting his throat, before the man spoke. I approached a step before it was too late, but…

“Sankta Lizabeta.” She looked stunned by the Ravkan language. “You follow the faith too. Please. What amount of prayer can forgive murder?” He pleaded.

“Ask the Saints for me.” She pulled up her knife, ready to execute him before I stepped in.

“Don’t.” She threw the knife, only an inch from my face. I lifted my hand that wasn’t holding my supporting stick, to show her I didn’t mean no harm. “He’s our way to Alina Starkov.”

“Him?” I nodded slowly.

“Heleen knew it. She was using you to sabotage our mission.”

“She and I made a deal.” She insisted.

“It isn’t worth more than what we get with him alive.” I walked closer to her, trying to convince her.

“You chose him over my freedom?”

“You assure it’s one or the other.” I waited for her to pull out the knife from his neck. I could the see the hesitation in her action. But I do know that she knew it was better to spare him.

She left him a small, but not deep cut on in neck and walked away. I sighed, thanking the whoever I prayed for. She backed up almost touching my chest.

“Conductor. I have a job for you.”

Y/N sighed nervously.

“Get us to the little palace.” The Conductor nodded as Y/N untied him. Jesper came through the door, taking the man to the refreshment room.

It was just us, now.

“Y/N. I thought I had told you I would handle this.” I approached her, taking a deep breath before wiping her tears off of her face. “I didn’t believe you.” She turned around, to her embarrassment, and responded shyly, cleaning her knife with a cloth.

“Do you believe me know?” She turned to face me again.

“Yes.” She sniffed, also calming herself down.

“Good. Now, let’s make it through the Fold.” I offered her a small comforting smile, which she offered me back. We both waited for Jesper to come out of the gentleman's restroom, accompanying him.

“Are we good to go, Jesper?” I asked, clinking my stick on the floor. They both got out and nodded in agreement.

They both walked through the front door as I looked at her.

“Shall we?” She walked in front of me, following the crow.

I turned around to reach the door, at least the rest of it. The man will need a new door. I thought, shutting it behind me, and following her to a sea of destinies.

kaz during his confrontation with the darkling

Reading six of crows and realising Kaz never feels uncomfortable showing his discomfort with the pain in his leg and always having to sit down, show visible signs of pain after exertion. But it’s always the viewer who sees this as a weakness and never Kaz himself. In his usual fashion, he uses this as adding another shield, so people don’t look at his actual weaknesses i.e. Inej and Jesper. It lends to the scene where he speaks with Wylan because of course Wylan has seen the way people perceive Kaz and how he treats that behaviour. And then watching the show and seeing Kaz easily walk up and down stairs with ease and moreover rappelling down buildings? Simply handing over his cane to Nikolai, his biggest shield to this random man he met mere weeks ago? As much as I want a s3 or the spin-off, do I really want it at the cost of completely stripping my favourite character’s struggles and arcs until they are no longer the Kaz Brekker everyone loves and admires??

Imagine: Drama Beats

Hello, something that I write is never meant to be structured. I prefer to see beauty in the chaos. Below you will find eight short bits of text related to four different universes including mine. It is supposed to be drama, and it was in a dead of night based on Pinterest prompts. For that person who reads it - thank you and enjoy ;)

Mikey: I ... I'm here!! Everything will be good!! You will be fine!! His hands shook as blood seeped through the fingers. He was ready to carry you to the hospital in his arms, but he was told to clamp the wound and press as hard as possible, otherwise, the ambulance would not be in time. Manjiro was frightened by your gaze, frightened by a melancholy smile and a pale face. And yet he was not ready to let you go as easily as Badji, as Emma... * * * There have been days when Sunshine did not "shine" as clearly as the celestial body after which his family was named. On such days he was sad, did not know where to put himself, and, in general, he felt unwanted in this life. It was unbearable to sit in the office. Usually, he could be found on the roof of the office, with a can of energy drink and buried in the phone. Making an attempt to talk to him, you get a chance to find out the reason for the melancholy of one of the special department's geniuses. Leo: Sometimes it seems to me that... There is a huge gulf between me and others... That I cannot reach anyone and... I remain on my little island... Miles away from everyone... A weightless touch on the palm brings a timid smile to the guy's face... * * * All attempts to make Brecker talk and learn more about him always had one and only answer. Kaz: My mind is a dark place. You don't want to be there ... For all the drama that he seemed to bring to these words, they best reflected the sad truth. Kaz had seen too many things to break and drive insane any normal person. And these made him a "Monster from the Barrel", someone who is able to take on any business, knows all the most sophisticated tortures, and will not spare the traitors. Eternally lonely and submerged darkness, he will never frighten those close to him with it... * * * Bone fracture in several places, sprain, and ligament rupture - the consequences of an unsuccessful fall during the mission. Gojo's nerves were at their limit, but he continued to follow the instructions of Shoko, who quickly fixed the injured limbs and at the same time checked you for internal injuries. Shoko: Don't let her pass out! Your head rested on the guy's lap and he caught your face in large palms, trying to look into the eyes, which seemed to be filled with lead. Satoru: I understand that you are in pain, but you have to stay awake!! Please... * * * The spell gradually sucked out your vitality, and the seal was supposed to divide the soul into several objects. Yet Sukuna could not believe what was happening, wanted to believe that the curse he cherishes could still be saved. Eclipse: Thank you... For being so faithful... And enduring my whims... His hands trembled as she turned slightly to snuggle against him, the moments between the flashes of her eyelashes grew longer. Sukuna: No... Don't close your eyes... Please... Don't close your eyes!!! * * * There were rare visitors to a small hideaway, lost among the huge shelves of the Archive. It was required to know the right path and the approximate time at which the hostess of a cozy paradise spent time there. This privilege was enjoyed by an overwhelmingly small number of people, among whom there were two Key Keepers of the Energy Department. The most frequent guest was Eldran, who needed emotional recovery after visiting some worlds. This time, she was lying on a small mound of rugs and pillows, her knees pressed to her chest, eyes wandering somewhere in the direction of a small shelf with books that Indaco had brought here. Ita: You know, sometimes I want to be numb and not feel anything...

* * * The God of Death was never distinguished by excessive emotionality, but when this happened, all his inner fears immediately became evident. This time you became the closest person to the epicenter of the storm and, instead of leaving, you tried to get him to talk and find out why he was so worked up. Hanma: Oh please don't do this! Don't act like you give a fuck! Having kicked heartily an empty can lying nearby, the guy emitted a sound that seemed more like an animal roar. He hated when emotions got out of control and did not want to believe that this time you saw him like that. You: Maybe because I'm worried about you!? Because I care about you!? He answered with laughter, after which Shuji turned to you with an almost insane smile on his lips, while his eyes concealed longing and hopelessness. Hanma: You don't have to give a fuck about that!! I don't give a fuck, you don't give a fuck, no one fucking cares!! Just get out already!! Run while you can!! * * * You sat on a park bench talking about anything that felt more like a friendly psychotherapy session. Rindo was spinning from a half-empty can of beer, that he held in his hands and felt that his soul was gradually becoming lighter. He didn't have many people with whom he could talk and at the same time put his thoughts in order. After adjusting his glasses, Haitani turned his head at you and smiled. Rindou: You could spend time with Ran right now, but you have to listen to me... He was instantly pushed in the shoulder, forcing his eyebrows to raise. Your light laugh made him smile. You: What kind of nonsense are you saying right now? You are my friend, it is important to me!

"I would come for you and if I couldn't walk I'd crawl to you and no matter how broken we are, we'd fight our way out together - knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting"

I don't think you guys understand, I had covid at the time of reading CK, this god damn quote (and various other Kanej moments) sent me into multiple coughing fits

if i somehow get sick whenever CK gets adapted (and it will!!) I'm actually going to be sent to the hospital

"I would come for you and if I couldn't walk I'd crawl to you and no matter how broken we are, we'd fight our way out together - knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting"

I don't think you guys understand, I had covid at the time of reading CK, this god damn quote (and various other Kanej moments) sent me into multiple coughing fits

"man our boyfriends are so fucking weird"