Getting Old - Tumblr Posts

9 years ago

Old Geezer

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that read: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000." Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Aaagh! - this is Gasoline! Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't - that is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and returns after several more days.

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak: I can hardly see anything!"

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, here's your $1000 back" and hands him a $10 bill.

Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back. That will be $500."

Moral of story - Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer". Remember: Don't make old people angry. They don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to annoy them.


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1 year ago

the fact I'm struggling to stay up until 10:30 is so fucking sad like what happened 😭 im 15 for God sake


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2 years ago

I guess you know you’re old when watching this preview makes you concerned about their knees when sliding around on a soapy surface 🤣🤣🤣 these boys ain’t boys no more and the late-twenties/early-thirties fear of injury is real 😅

It ain’t just the fear of injury either — it’s the fear of having to explain how you got an injury, that’s the worst part! “Oh the cast and crutches? Yeah I was… playing a non-competitive amateur game of sand volleyball and decided to change directions.”

Over here clenching my teeth like “careful careful CAREFUL you fall down the wrong way and twist your knee you tear something!”

Lmao I guess spoiler alert they’re fine or we would have heard something but imma need the producers to think of less treacherous games from now on 😂 ik the rest of y’all gettin-old people feel me, the teenage armys don’t know what they don’t know 😆😆😆


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1 year ago

my grandma passed away a few days ago. three weeks on life support. yet it hit me so hard. she was so close to my heart. yet as i got older i got busier, visited her less. seeing how my mother's been like, how her relationship with her had ups and downs and how terrified she was of her mother not forgiving her. how all of their petty disagreements really meant nothing in the end. eldest daughter, eldest daughter, eldest daughter. mother and daughter. grandma and granddaughter, grandma and granddaughter. seeing my mother tell everyone she's alone now, how her life revolved around her mother and she feels she has no purpose now. her brother lives abroad, i feel for him, he came home for two weeks just to watch his mother die. i wanted to leave this country for so long, for a better life ahead, my heart hurts. my mother lost both her parents, all her friends tell me i have to take care of her now. im nineteen. half the time i can barely take care of myself. my parents are getting old. their hair is all gray. my father lost his father and uncle within four months last year. my mother never cries, it was only those moments i saw her so weakened. i cant speak when my emotions get the best of me. it's like my throat is clogged. is it wrong that i cant help but remember what everyone forgets? when my paternal grandmother degraded my mother for staying with her mother, a memory brushed aside. my grandmother you are, but my grandmother she also was. i graduate college next year. i dont think im prepared to be a person. my mother saw her grandmother die and watched as her mother withered. i look through their old photo albums, all these little kids in these photographs have kids of their own now, my uncle and mom taking care of these babies who now have babies. just like me and my brother with our little cousins. how i love children. how my little cousin loves me. sometimes it stings a bit when at gatherings they mention me getting married all the time when it's not what i'll ever want. and children are never something i'd have. and i'll never be in love with a man. after all that i went through and all that i complained about my family and my parents and my brother and everything, i realise in the end it wont amount to anything but background noise even if it shaped me, and these are the same people who i used to draw heart paintings and write love poems for as a child. it's moments like these when barging through my mind is the thought that soon i'll be my mother.

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