Grad School Journey - Tumblr Posts

it's setting in that i'm actually beginning a PhD program in one week... if it isn't the consequences of my own actions...

Settling into the grind, featuring some rice/ kimchi/ tofu for lunch (I actually meal prepped!)

9.6.2023 - scenes from campus :)

somehow, it has already been three weeks since my program started. this week is a busy one between writing a draft for a fellowship application, doing dna extractions in the lab, meeting with a science and technology studies group to read case studies, completing a literature review, and of course managing coursework. it has been a grind, but morale is high and i'm really enjoying learning so much so quickly!

9.15.23

This week was a fucking grind. Today was lovely though! I had eggs featuring fresh basil from my garden for breakfast, found some time to walk around campus, and wrapped up a lot of work in time for the weekend.

9.17.23

weekend camping trip to sedona ✨🏜️

9.20.2023

Autumn is for cozy study sessions :) Might have a late night ahead of me with chem and an engineering exam tomorrow, but the vibes are good and the apple cake was delicious.

[what i'm listening to tonight]

9.21.2023

Up too early. That being said I can't complain about watching the sunrise and cracking open the window to some of the first cool, fall air we've gotten here. I have the first exam for my environmental engineering class later today, a chem problem set due tonight, and then some SOPs I need to write for my advisor by tomorrow. As long as I can squeeze a nap in somewhere, I'll be happy.

9.28.2023

I don't know that I will ever enjoy 5:00 am study sessions, but I do love the cozy, focused solitude. This morning I was preparing for a chemistry exam, which--thankfully, and to my surprise--went very well. The rest of the day was much less stressful, and I managed to handle a few lab tasks, start on some problem sets, and go for a run. I'm currently reading Steppenwolf (albeit at a glacial pace) and enjoying it quite a lot--Hesse is one of my favorite authors. I hope you all end the week on a high note and enjoy the weekend :)

10.10.2023

Lots of this lately. Been recovering from a bit of a sick spell, so I've been working when I can and sleeping when I have to. Grateful for Goose's company while I work and read :)

this is going to be difficult -> i am capable of doing difficult things -> i have done everything prior to this moment -> this difficulty will soon be proof of capability

walking into the lab on mondays with the cortisol level of someone being hunted for sport

this is going to be difficult -> i am capable of doing difficult things -> i have done everything prior to this moment -> this difficulty will soon be proof of capability

10.22.2023

Last week was truly hellish with the GRFP deadline and two exams on Thursday. Thankfully, I have been able to take this weekend at a much slower pace. It is finally cooling down somewhat, so I went for a walk and read by the pool for a while yesterday. Today I went to a cafe to work on a chem pset. The coffee and brie plate were so good, but chem still made me sad tbh. Excited to chill for the rest of this lovely Sunday.

10.30.2023

Visited Denver over the weekend and happened to experience the first snow! Had a lovely, cozy time exploring the city and catching up with my roommates from undergrad.

11.5.2023

Time passes so differently on the weekends. I feel like Friday was just moments ago, but here I am gearing up for another week. On Friday some friends and I went to a monthly art festival held downtown, which was a lovely way to recharge and discover a new dimension of this city (one that I've been looking for, at that). I spent much of today in the lab, which isn't my favorite, but it was surprisingly peaceful. For dinner I made stuffed acorn squash and roasted the seeds :) This was my first time making them, but I now have a new autumn staple.

11.8.2023

Goose and I are on the same page tonight. But lucky for him, he doesn't have to take a chem exam tomorrow. I am trying to summon some motivation, but tbh I'm so ready for the semester to be over.

my version of sissy hypno is speed walking on the treadmill while listening to podcasts about climate disasters until i feel a sufficient level of urgency to do my environmental engineering problem sets

I wouldn’t describe this year as definitively ‘good’ or ‘bad’ but the type of growth I experienced throughout was cold and uncomfortable. More than anything it was a quiet growth that left me exposed. I think I was molting.

anyway this is me if you even care..

11.26.2023

For Thanksgiving, I went home to the Midwest to see my family. I'll admit I do miss the dry, sunny warmth of Arizona, even after a short time away, but opt-in seasons might be ideal. I spent as much time as I could drinking in the cool fall air, the rain and colors, and then the contrasting coziness of the fireplace. I'm a bit anxious to go back, but it's only three weeks until I come home again for Christmas and New Year's. Classes are pretty much done now, but that means ramping up lab work and functioning more independently in general. I refuse to wish away time, but I suspect I'll be relieved when I'm no longer a first year and hopefully feel more settled-in and capable.

It's a "do it crying" kind of day unfortunately