He Was The Worst - Tumblr Posts

Damned if you don’t

I hated running into people we both knew after he’d kicked me out.

He'd sent me to buy him dinner one night and his cousin was at the restaurant.  In retrospect I am confident she would not have known that I was aware she was there.  To be honest, I saw her for only a moment before looking away and my back was to her for the remainder of my time there.

I was his ex as far as his family was concerned, and wasn’t keen on an awkward conversation. Plus, I didn’t see who her companion was; she could have been on a date. So I kept to myself, went to the bar, paid, and left.

I told him that I saw his cousin with someone. If I ever went anywhere and someone told him that they saw me, but I didn’t mention it, he’d lose it.  He’d say I was withholding information and this was evidence that I was the same monstrous slut I always was.

So I told him and as per the usual, he used that information to torture me. 

He did some investigation to see who his cousin was with.  He made a point to call and tell me his sister and his cousin were very offended that I chose not to say hello. He said they congratulated him on being rid of me.

That’s possible I guess. But I’m calling bullshit. Just another opportunity to make me feel terrible.

Fast forward: I have helped my partner secure her finances and consolidate her debt into the mortgage. We're on the path to being mortgage and debt free 7 years ahead of schedule. We're working on the house and plan to take some small trips with cash that I've saved; no credit required.

I have a retirement savings now, a few small investments, and can look forward a little.

We are not wealthy, but it's become increasingly clear that I'm pretty damn good with money.

The Truth About Money

When I was running after him I was perpetually broke.  I rarely spent a dime on myself, and if I did it was for him in a round about way (a personal trainer, aesthetics, etc).  He blamed my inability to budget and poor spending habits.

About a year ago, I had an experience that first lifted the veil. If you are interested, you can read about it here.  Shortly after that time I cracked down and prioritized saving; I prioritized it even over him because I had realized that I truly was alone.

That was the beginning of the end of his interest in me.  After all, what good am I if I am not bankrolling his interests? He severed contact approximately three months ago. I wish I had done it, but unfortunately that wasn’t the way it went.  

Since we’ve ceased speaking I have, in addition to saving more money than I have ever had for myself ever, paid off the remainder of my student debt, paid off my maxed out credit card, and taken 10% off what I owe on my line of credit.  All the while having a modest social life. 

I am not bad with money. He was bad with my money.  He is bad.