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My Heart, A Cold Veggie Sandwich.

Suggestions for simple veggie sammies to bring to work (and why you should never buy another cold sandwich in Denver again).

I admit that I’m a simple, human pos who doesn’t know everything that there is to know... but it’s my humble opinion that there really is never a situation where a vegetarian sandwich and a meat sandwich priced at the same amount is justifiable. I mean - why would a sammy that consists of mostly lettuce, sprouts, cheese, maybe avocado and some other pizza toppings cost the same as a salami-pepperoni-meatball-Frankenstein paired also with vegetables, pizza toppings and cheese – I’ll just say: it don’t make no sense!

Here are some simple suggestions to spice up your lunch and to save you some dough. Just a hint so that you can save yourself the time and energy it might take to read ‘em all - each of these suggestions involve vegetables, carbs, (maybe) cheese and a sauce or shmear. I ain’t no Chef Emeril, you can definitely figure it out yourself, mix and match - empower yourself, son!

First: I is Hung Over, Need Spicy Salty: Take whatever carbs are laying around (tortillas, pita, bagel, whatever) and slap on a healthy amount of Dijon mustard, several slices of cheese, a couple pickles and potato chips. Without fear, smoosh that down flat. Enjoy a similar vibe to a ham and cheese as this sammy cleans up your booze soaked tummy. (That’s that healthy lifestyle shit vegetarians are always going on about, right there…)

Second: Anything Crunchy and Herbs: Start with flavorful bread like sourdough or rye. Grab some fresh herbs of your choice and toss it in a bowl with crunchy romaine lettuce. Dress the greens in red wine vinegar, mustard and olive oil and lay ‘em on the bread. Add fresh mozzarella (or cottage cheese if you ain’t afraid of the mess) and a fancy, peppered heirloom tomato or yellow pepper or cucumber or anything.... crunchy.

Third: Creamy and Crunchy: In THIS order, shmear whipped cream cheese on a toasted slice of carb, sprinkle an unholy amount of shredded carrots right on top of that cheese, a thick layer of spinach on top of them carrots, pickles or banana peppers on top of them spinaches and sliced green bell pepper on top of them pickles or banana peppers. Smoosh it down and wrap it up for later.

Forth: Health Nut: Start with any kind of whole grain carb and load it up with lots of chopped kale, romaine lettuce and/or spinach, sliced apple, radishes, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, shredded carrots, avocado and bell pepper. Smear hummus on that bad boy, if you’re into that kind of thing. 

Fifth: Vegetables and Cheese: Any kind of vegetables, fruit, oils, shmears and cheese between bread. 

You did it - feel good my friend, you have just won!