Incorrect Bungo Stray Dogs - Tumblr Posts
Soukouku at its finest🤣🤣🤣
Dazai : " Are we fighting or flirting ? "
Chuuya : " My hands are literally wrapped around your neck."
Dazai : " That doesn’t answer my question."
Akutagawa, Trying to comfort y/n who got bad grades:it's OK, it's not your fault that you're so stupid Y/n: Cries even harder*
Incorrect quotes but this time it’s Weretiger and no eyebrows 🧑🦲
Atsushi : Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder? Akutagawa: Stop romanticizing the past
—————————————————————————————————— Akutagawa: Someone will die. Atsushi: Of fun!
—————————————————————————————————— Atsushi: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! Akutagawa: Please, just say fuck. ——————————————————————————————————
Akutagawa: I’m a reverse necromancer. Atsushi: Isn’t that just killing people? Akutagawa: Yes, technically. ——————————————————————————————————
Atsushi: What are you doing here? Akutagawa: I could ask you the same question. Atsushi: I live here. This is my house. Akutagawa: I should probably ask you a different question. ——————————————————————————————————
Atsushi: Hey Akutagawa, I’ve got an idea for how to solve this. Akutagawa, pulling out a shotgun: Yes Weretiger. Atsushi: Wh- No! That’s not the idea, Akutagawa! ——————————————————————————————————
Atsushi: I love hearing Akutagawa shouting at someone else. It makes such a nice change. ——————————————————————————————————
Akutagawa: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way Weretiger. Atsushi: I almost died. Akutagawa: That... was my favorite memory.
Hey long time no see guys! Haha yeah I am so so sorry for lying to you twice already I’ve just been so busy with school (having a Mandarin test every week doesn't help). I should be posting more cause my break is in 2 days! ,TheSwordThatStabbedJouno
P.s I tried to make this one a little longer as a sorry
Since people seemed to like my incorrect bsd quotes from my coworkers I decided to do another one with quotes from my friends
Atsushi: “Been ignored so much bitches call me terms and conditions.”
Akutagawa: “At least you accepted no matter what.”
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Kunikida: “Bitchboys! Wait what are they called? Dazai! Yes!”
Ranpo: “I’m going to start calling him that.”
Dazai: “You want to see the real bitch come out?”
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Chuuya: “Ok I think I have a solution.”
*Explosion in the distance*
Chuuya: “Don’t worry about that.”
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Atsushi: “That was before I realized he was my dad.”
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Chuuya: “Fan-fucking-tastic just trying to enjoy my meal and god decides to show up!”
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Ranpo to Fukuzawa: “Hey look! An old gay white man! That’s better than an old white straight man!”
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Kyouka: “Murder is fun, cool, and hip!”
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Jouno: “I am going… to hurt something.”
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Akutagawa: “Don’t tell me how to breathe!”
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Dazai: “Want to know what they called me in college? Application Denied!”
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Kenji: “Mom says its my turn with the brain cell”
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Sigma: “Fyodor! Nikolai is grave robbing again!”
Nikolai: “Well it’s not like they need this stuff anymore!”
Fyodor: “He has a solid point, do you need help?”
——————————————————————————
Kenji: “This thanksgiving I’m thankful for Fukuzawa, Ranpo, Kunikida, Yosano, Atsushi, and uh… Kyouka. Yeah that’s everyone.”
Dazai: “I really appreciate how I’m not on that list.”
——————————————————————————
Chuuya: *Attacks someone for picking a flower off a bush*
Chuuya handing the flower to Dazai: “Here’s your flower back, freaking freeloaders.”
——————————————————————————
Jouno: “Hold that thought, it’s time for me to beat up Tecchou.”
——————————————————————————
Jouno: “Well time for me to fight Tecchou and kill some bad guys, and I’m all out of bad guys.”
Tecchou: “Oh shit!”
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*During the ADA’s DnD game night*
Kunikida: “Dazai, you can’t play a bard. We all know you’re just gonna fuck everything.”
Dazai: “THAT’S A LIE! I just want to hit someone over the head with a lute! Then I’ll fuck someone!”
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Akutagawa: “Dazai is my personal favorite swear word.”
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Akutagawa: “I’m like a battery, I’m never included in anything.”
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Fukuzawa talking to himself when Ranpo is refusing to do work and Dazai hasn’t shown up yet: “Am I surprised? No of course I’m not I bet on it!”
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Yosano: “Oh you don’t feel so good? I have a fix for that!”
Yosano: *Pulls out a gun*
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Jouno: “I am very angry- *notices Tecchou nearby* HEY HE’S THE ONE WHO STOLE MY PANTS!”
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Atsushi: *Panicking running through the ADA with a trash can that he accidentally set on fire* “NO ONE SAW THIS!”
Kunikida, Dazai, Yosano: “WE SAW THAT!”
——————————————————————————
Yosano: *Listing off what she ate today* “I’ve had cheese, crackers, vodka, and egg salad.”
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Kenji: “I’m gonna do this all on my own!” *turns to Ranpo* “Help me.”
——————————————————————————
Yosano: “You son of a bitch!”
Ranpo: “HEY! DON’T CALL FUKUZAWA A BITCH!”
Yosano: “No I’m calling you a son of a bitch! YOU ARE ADOPTED!”
——————————————————————————
Kenji: *Angrily muttering affirmations to himself*
Yosano: “Is this toxic positivity?”
——————————————————————————
Dazai seeing Chuuya using corruption: “This is what gay panic is mothers and fuckers.”
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Dazai: *Hands Akutagawa 4 cents he found on the ground*
Akutagawa: “I get to eat tonight!”
Dazai: *Takes back 1 cent* “No you don’t.”
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Chuuya: *Sees Dazai flirt with some girl*
(What he tried to say) “Great now I’m sad and lonely.”
(What he said) Chuuya: “Great now I’m gay.”
——————————————————————————
Chuuya: “That’s kinda gay, not gonna lie.”
Dazai: “You sound kinda gay, not gonna lie.”
Akutagawa: “I have cheese, not gonna lie.”
——————————————————————————
Dazai: “This is not gonna go well.”
*2 minutes later*
Dazai sprinting down the street: “OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!”
*2 minutes later*
Dazai: “I LOST MY KNIFE!”
——————————————————————————
Dazai: “What gender am I today?”
Atsushi: “12.”
Akutagawa: “32.”
——————————————————————————
Chuuya to Akutagawa: “What’s your opinion on the plan?”
Akutagawa: “Cheese is good.”
Chuuya: “That wasn’t the question.”
Gin: “But it’s the answer.”
——————————————————————————
Akutagawa trying to flirt with Atsushi after getting advice from Kenji on what he likes: “ONION! I HAVE AN ONION FOR YOU! TAKE THE ONION!”
——————————————————————————
Akutagawa: *Trying to show Dazai the new nice outfit Chuuya bought him*
Dazai: *Not even looking at him* “Nice.”
Chuuya: *Angrily* “It’s ok, we all know you hate poor Aku.”
Dazai: *Starts fake crying*
Chuuya: *Sarcastically* “Awww you gonna cry?” *Seriously* “GOOD!” *Leads Akutagawa away while telling him he looks great*
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Chuuya: “Nothing says pride like dick.”
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Akutagawa after someone was mean to Atsushi: “You don’t think you’ll end up in hell for what you’ve done, but sweetheart I’ll be seeing you there soon.”
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Dazai: “I don’t care if you have a cunt or a dick, either way I’m gonna fuck both your mom and dad.”
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Ranpo giving directions to Kunikida after he got Fukuzawa and himself lost: “Look for someone dressed like it’s Halloween and someone dressed like a single dad.”
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Kunikida: *Referring to Chuuya being drunk* “I think he’s in denial.”
Dazai: *Also drunk* “Nah he’s in da Amazon!”
Chuuya: *Absolutely wasted using his ability* “I am in da air!”
——————————————————————————
Akutagawa about Atsushi: “I love his heterophobia.”
Akutagawa: “I meant to say heterochromia.”
@stinkyme
When instead of hitting the nail on the head it hits you 🥲
