Intimidating - Tumblr Posts
Life Tip #41
let the kids know you ain’t fucking around when you get back to school by dramatically announcing your arrival and once you have their attention, immediately popping in seven and a half sticks of winter mint gum, chewing it for two seconds, and then drinking an entire glass of ice cold water bc you’re the coldest bitch in town
Life Tip #42
a comprehensive list of people that everybody should fear!
people who bite into popsicles immediately after they take them out of the freezer
people who eat soft grapes without hesitation
people who drink orange juice immediately after brushing their teeth
anyone who willingly wakes up at five in the morning in A GOOD MOOD
people who reach straight into an oven without an oven mitt and don’t even flinch when the tray makes contact with their bARE ASS SKIN
anyone who can put their hair up in a perfect ponytail in 20 seconds or less without using a mirror bc they are witches. all of them.
literally anybody who wears a strapless bra bc those are brave ppl who are not afraid to fuck !! you !! up !!
anybody who can draw a straight line without a ruler
anybody who can draw perfect circles with one go bc they are the evolved version of the straight line and probably have an iq of 500 and a burning desire to destroy the world
people who have more than five phone numbers memorized in this day and age, like honestly i don’t even remember if i ate breakfast today what the fuckkkk
people who let you scroll through their camera roll without standing over your shoulder and panicking, they have either nothing to hide or nothing to fear and idk which one’s worse
anybody with the courage to read 50 shades of grey in public, level of apathy is 1000000
people who jump immediately into a pool without dipping their toes in first
arrogant first chair violinists who do the “tch tch” thing all the time and are probably plotting the entire orchestra’s demise
anybody who has ever worked in retail and survived bc they have already been in the seventh level of hell and told it “thank you for shopping with us today!”
people who wing recipes, like are you sure you’re not a horcrux of gordon ramsey’s soul
incredibly successful couponers. could probably buy their way into heaven with a 50% off all their sins coupon that expires in a day.
croc wearers. sock and sandal wearers. people who wear socks and crocs. no explanation needed
anybody who eats a kit-kat without breaking it in half
google phone users. they are far beyond what our tiny human brains could ever comprehend
teachers who can recognize every single one of their students’ handwriting. could probably forge their way into steve job’s bank account and he’s dead
gwynevere is lined!
(promise they won’t be these colors in the end this is just flats prep)