Iz Shitposting - Tumblr Posts

You cannot imagine how hard at work I’ve been off and on for the last half a month

Comedically cut WIP of the IZ Flipnote thang I been working on

This is the real reason Tak was so pissed about Zim ruining her chance to become an invader and you can’t change my mind now.

All the lady Irken Invaders are lesbians and they're all in a polycule together. I have spoken it, thus it is canon.

ZAYATATAPAER forever.

SO LIKE, HEAR ME OUT,

I Have No GIR and I Must Scream

Listen,

I feel you, I do. And I love our irken queens as much as the next fan.

But every single time I see or hear about Poot I start to come undone at the seams being reminded of this meme I made way back when I was in high school and this joke was more relevant.

Like that screenshot of Purple with tears in his eyes shaking and looking like he tasted a lemon? That’s me mentally recalling this image

Skoodge has been excluded in the name of actually underrated characters. Had the series not been canceled, he was already on schedule to join the main cast on Earth anyway.

Tak was never officially an invader to begin with.

And Tenn’s unfortunately failed in her mission, as far as implications go.

ok headcanon dib looks like he's cold all the time

Lol I wonder are all the female irkens in a polycule.

Only the lady invaders. This is, of course, the actual reason Tak is so bent out of shape about Zim ruining her career ambitions

Duh.

Almighty Tallest Purple @ Red whenever something actually major happens aboard The Massive and they have to step in:

- He’s happy because of the camera in his hand, having free reign to explore the upper level of Zim’s base, and being on video chatting his actual leaders. I’d be over the moon if I were him too, considering how hard he works to just get to Zim’s front door most of the time.

- Having no idea who or WHAT Dib even is, I’d also be curious in the Tallests’ position. I mean, Zim’s refreshingly absent and this weird, large-headed, simian thing obviously infiltrated the base. They probably wanted to see through where this was chaos was going on a bored whim. Not like they have anything more entertaining/important to do. My guess is they were hoping something terrible happened and Dib won, since the moment they lost interest was when Zim‘s return home was confirmed.

What I love most about the entire thing though (funniest joke in the episode IMO) was Dib’s part in the actual call. Dude finally gets a chance to speak directly with the supposed masterminds behind the invasion, this huge powerful threat from beyond the stars, the puppet masters who give his greatest most evil enemy his marching orders, and he handles it like this.

Red and Purple’s POV:

sorry like i cannot get ofur the fact that dib and the tallest just hung out on call fur like a whole week.

like what the fuck are mew four doing. why are mew so happy dib. mewre nefur that happy. and the tallest are just putting up with this they try to get zim off the phone as quickly as pawssibly but this fucking fureak and the defective sir unit? oh nyeah keep calling that thang fur a week straight thats fine. ok. like how am i supposed to interpurret this ofur than "at worst the tallest tolerate dib more than zim"

who does this. who allowed this. is he some sort of jesterboy to them. i understand. hes so silly. what a fureak

Dib disassembling an Irken PAK and body shell ala YouTube unboxing video

Dib bringing a pack of Kraft singles cheese slices to Skool and throwing all of them at Zim over the course of the entire day.

Forget the dvr I want to see Zim battle the DMV. Give me the “zim has to pass a driver’s test but he can’t reach the pedals and see over the wheel at the same time” episode. Give me 11 minutes straight of Zim and GIR waiting in line at the bank. This little guy thinks he should be afraid of the FBI? Wait until he has to go toe to toe with the IRS.

they need to bring back invader zim but like 20 years later dib and gaz are adults now, and nothing has really changed except gaz has to do wellness checks on dib every six months and zim has to defeat the dvr.

Happy Thanksgiving weirdos <3

Irken senses, and other ponderings

You know, every time I start to wonder if I’ve finally run out of things to coherently say on the whole “speculating about irken biology” matter, a whole something more is induced to hatch out of the dehydrated floam inside my skull. Between you and me, I think the eggs are triggered by ironic timing.

Anywho, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the world hypothetically through Irken eyes, and other sensory organs. Think I’ll go down them piece by piece, and to follow the pattern I’ve kept through my other Irken brain dumps, I will be drawing a huge amount of inspiration from real life arthropods. Yes, I’m very aware that realistically, any resemblance to earth insects would be coincidental from an alien species, and there’s plenty of room to make up whatever somewhat plausible explanation you can for any faucet of their anatomy. Personally, I like to run from the convergent evolution angle, since I find it no less grounded, full of potential connections the show itself all but begs me to draw, and just plain fun. Let’s get into it.

Also like towards the end there’s a whole section on the hypothetical edibility of Irkens because why not

Prelude: If you want to hear a little more behind my theory about the Irken diet revolving around sugar and a small portion of minerals, you can zip onto this analysis I did, in which I touch on some ideas of mine regarding the composition of Irken skin, their reaction to meat, etc. that works from the assumption that Irkens evolved out of an arthropod-like ancestor. Not necessary to get the gist of this one, but it is background context behind my thought process.

Sight

The Irken oculus is perhaps the most striking feature of the species, very much resembling those tiny crawling things they have been inspired by; however, it’s tougher to say exactly how far the similarity of their insides go. The eyes of most arthropods are in fact along the more simple branches of the evolutionary tree. We know that Irkens are not likely to possess compound eyes, like those found in flies and most other insects, because compound eyes are specialized for wide FOV ranges at the sacrifice of visual resolution quality. Instead, I see a much closer match to a fascinating exception or two found in Earth’s arachnids.

While most of them have utterly piss-poor vision, the hunting styles of jumping spiders necessitated a great deal of further specialization of the organs for depth perception, color differentiation, and sharp images. These are the purpose of those two huge shiners at the front (the other 6 boosting their range for detecting blurry peripheral movement and threats), and these are what bring their effective vision on a level much closer to that of familiar binocular mammals than their own six legged prey. Now I really think we are working with the base of what Irken peepers likely developed out of. One of the ways they have really diverged off is in the fact that while jumping spiders can only move their retinas, irkens seem as though they are able to move the lens of the eye themselves- or at the very least, Zim does, else the false pupils in his disguise contacts would not behave quite so convincingly. To speak about the lenses themselves, their eyes are not dry and exposed like most arthropods, speaking to a vulnerable sensitivity. They clearly have blinking eyelids, shed tears, and Zim even complains about the “scratchy” feeling of getting used to that part of his kid disguise.

(Funny sidenote: I’m like 90% sure that Zim did not have those contact lenses designed correctly for himself. Usually, if contacts feel that uncomfortable and keep falling off of the eye as easily as his do, it’s a sign of them being poorly fitted. This could be another symptom of his outdated/lower quality invader tech.)

Not only do Irkens have an assumed base vision resolution that seems more or less on par with human beings, but Invader elites are fitted with ocular implants that grant them a significantly greater advantage in this realm. We don’t know to a certainty how well improved an Irken soldier’s vision is, but Zim was confidently able, within seconds and under pressure, to pick out the area of town he lived in from what was miles away under night hours.

On the topic of night vision, I have a hunch that even without the cybernetics, these guys are adapted to see much better than we in dim to dark environments as well. Most of the early part of their life cycle is lived out in subterranean crèches. On the surface, daytime Irk is cast in a sunset red atmosphere. Oddly, a massive portion of their fashion and architectural aesthetics show a preference for these dark, warmer tones. Ruby is far and away the most common eye color in their kind. All of these facts suggest that warm-spectrum hues and pigments were incredibly common in the homeworld’s history, to point of indicating something about a cultural attraction to them- kind of like how humans put the color blue all over so much corporate branding and elsewhere. Zim’s favorite color has also been revealed to be purple. Most of all, given what I’ve seen of Irk’s, Blorch’s, and Devastis’s surface skies, AND Zim’s reaction to staring directly at the sun for more than a few seconds, I’m assuming that most Irkens are wholly unfamiliar with living in an environment as brightly lit as midday Earth.

I do think Irken eyes “glow” in the dark, but not in the emitting sense. Just more in the reflective one. This they would owe to a well developed tapetum lucidum, as seen in cats and deer and pretty much any animal to give off an eerie eye shine under the right lighting. To point back to arachnids, wolf spiders are speedy nocturnal murder machines with highly developed tapetum lucida, in their secondary eyes, at least. What I love the most about that is it makes it very easy to tell if you’re looking at a mother spider because her babies will give off the same eyeshine if you take a pic of one with the flash on.

Additionally, I won’t forget that sleep is no longer a necessity for our alien subjects. This alone gives them a major edge over any dinural race such as humanity. While Zim has his appearances to keep up during the day, the nighttime on Earth is actually when he is allowed the most free rein to work on his endeavors uninterrupted.

Sound

Ah, so this is the part where I rattle off the common theories we’ve collectively formed about Irken antennae as the replacement for an external ear, eh? Yes, but actually no…. jokes aside, it’s just no. I’ll get to the deal with antennae, but as you might imagine, hearing ability also varies all over the place in the insect world.

It is true that antennae play a large role in the hearing of some critters, such as mosquitoes, whose males use them to pick out the high frequency wing beats of nearby females in a swarm. Crickets, on the other hand, use sensory organs on their legs tuned to much lower sound ranges. There’s no one way to evolutionarily put together a sort-of ear, as well proven by the sheer amount of times it convergently happened in bugs and in how many creative ways.

They literally be designing themselves like me playing around in spore. If we’re not talking about that mosquito or honeybee example, then what we are referring to as an ear and most hearing insects is going to be an external tympanic organ. Most people who have passed high school biology would be able to recognize a visible tympanum in frogs- that circular thing right behind the eyes in most species, and understand it as their version of an ear drum. Many bugs’ tympanums are likewise thin chitinous membranes situated… potentially just about anywhere on the body (again, see above). This is what I think Irkens use as a primary hearing organ, in his case, probably situated on their heads in addition to the feelers. The latter organs I think would also be sensitive to general vibrations and subtler environmental cues, like wind direction and pressure changes, but the bulk of their hearing would be owed to the tympanum.

As far as the quality of their hearing, well, there’s not any sign it differs much from the human experience. Like us, they communicate through verbal language, and the existence of the “Dancing Arcade Game (but for aliens)” confirms at least a similar cultural propensity for music as an entertainment form. Zim is an outlier for the fact that he seems genuinely a little hard of hearing next to his kin, screaming as naturally as he talks and repeatedly mishearing (if hearing at all) people who are speaking directly at him. It’s clear something’s up with his hearing, but there’s no clear answer what and why. At first I was tempted to suggest something about sound passing much differently through the medium of earth’s atmosphere (kind of like how noise on Mars would sound muffled to us), but neither Tak nor Skoodge seemed to pick up the problem when they arrived. It really could be as simple as some kind of birth defect, or even glitches in how his corrupted PAK is processing the inputs it receives. Like many others, I want to imagine that his wig could be interfering too, since it covers the whole top portion of his head; as well, I noticed he has more of those incidents with it on than not.

Smell

Alrighty, NOW we can round back to focusing on the antennae, because this is actually the main thing our insects fine tuned theirs for. And when I say fine tuned- I mean fine tuned. Blood suckers that find their prey through the CO2 of their breath, flies that can pick up on potential food sources from miles away; In the land of the little, scent is everything. Beyond it being their main tool for exploring the environment for what to eat and what to avoid, chemical messages are the backbone of bug-to-bug communication. Pheromones are the divining rod of lonely spiders looking for a mate. They are the bugle of yellow jackets when rallying the nest to attack a threat, and they are the signals that govern about every single action an ant takes from adulthood until death. Obviously, Irkens are much more sight & hearing dependent than these comparisons, but they still have much more bodily specialization dedicated to this sense than we can relate to. For one, they are fastidiously hygienic. Like, “the care-bots from that really creepy episode of the Buzz lightyear cartoon” hygienic. We have yet to see any livable surface of Irk that is not sky to underground terraformed over in all-consuming metal infrastructure. There’s less than no sign of visible life besides the Irkens; ffs, there’s not even soil in sight. Not on Devastis, either. The Organic Sweep sounds like such a nice and pretty euphemism in the face of the actual horror of Blorch’s fate, and all to spare the boots of their military from touching even a speck of “unsavory alien filth”. They live in such a controlled and purified environment that I can’t even imagine the absolute assault on the senses Zim’s every day on our barbaric ball of dirt is. Over and over again he gives off the impression that the constant stink of this place is in fact his chief complaint about living among us. The majority of insults he throws toward humans relate to how they smell or the fact that he finds them “filthy”. We’re flat out nasty to him and I don’t blame him. Even relative to other animals, humans are especially RANK due to the combination of sweat, oils, and bacteria that coat our skin.

And believe it or not, I do think Irkens are in a position to talk shit in this regard. Zim is a really sweaty boi; however, I posed an idea back in that write up about Irken skin before- to summarize- that his kind maintain remarkably sterile cuticles due to the presence of a toxic chemical in their skin. This, I said then, could have been the key to Zim’s lice repelling trait, but I wasn’t so specific at the time about more than that. I got the idea from a group of millipedes that, when disturbed, can secrete hydrogen cyanide as a deterrent to predators. I like to imagine that Irkens can do a similar thing via sweating, not to thermoregulate like us, but as a stress response. It would at least explain why Zim seems like a very nervous sweater. Fun fact if you didn’t know, cyanide’s smell is similar to almonds.

I’m deadass telling you I think Irkens just smell like almond extract. Do with that what you will.

Touch

So, in writing this whole whatever it be, this part was the trickiest to come up with any productive analysis on. I’ve already guessed at what I think Irken skin feels most like (spoiler: hairless caterpillars) in the analysis I referenced up top. Zim being able to pass himself off as a human under the examination of the Skool nurse points to an average body temperature somewhere around our own. What I did find interesting while rewatching the series though was the sheer amount of pain tolerance on these invaders, except in one way. Can I extrapolate this fortitude to Irkens universally? Probably not! Zim is a member of the most elite of the most highly trained members of Irk’s military. I wouldn’t take what a seasoned veteran can handle and assume that’s the human floor in a nutshell, but our invaders CAN tell us quite a bit about their ceiling… starting with the fact that these bastards are ridiculously heat resistant. Irkens are a durable race broadly, but their reactions to extreme temperatures strike me as jaw-droppingly underwhelming, if anything.

Irkens DON’T like being engulfed in flames. It’s still a painful experience to them, but seemingly the kind they can pretty much walk off as soon as it’s over. Through explosions and fire we have seen Zim (and Skoodge) survive in one piece. We’ve seen The Massive take a whole dip into a burning star with no ill effects to the crew within. Most amazing to me was the time in Battle of the Planets when Zim willingly piloted Mars into grazing by the Sun at close range while trying to evade Dib. Totally exposed driver’s seat and he was no worse for wear after this.

Further in the comics we see this touched on in the Zimvoid arc. Zib’s favorite method of torturing the Zims under his training program was to torch them at random for sadistic amusement. Quite interestingly, though, Number 2 implies that their bodies do actually adapt to this treatment over time! Theoretically, Zims further along in the program have become all but invulnerable to fire entirely.

On the other hand, one of the truly most painful things Zim has been shown to experience is to have his skin chemically burned. It’s a strange sort of irony that Earth’s water would prove to be an incapacitating force to them in place of any inferno. He’ll smash his skull into the Voot’s windshield with enough force to pop out an eyeball and it’s whatever. Plenty of other things hurt, but he can power through. You turn a shaken can of soda or a bottle of bbq sauce on him and he’s just left screaming on the ground or screaming and running away. Whatever brutal sort of training he had to go through off world, it didn’t prepare him for this.

Taste

The perceptive side of this I think may not be too hard to figure out. Irken food, as alien as its actual composition could be, has been shown to be heavily analogous to human junk food. I hesitate to call what Irkens are scarfing down “meals” in the proper sense, because I’ve noticed that neither Zim nor his kin intrinsically understand the concept. When he’s trying to blend in as a human being, he puts a LOT of bizarre effort into convincing us that he, just like you inferior creatures, TOTALLY eats “food” on a regular basis like a normal person. When Irkens eat their own products, it’s all and only “snacks”. What follows is the conclusion that their eating habits are not structured into any schedule and that Irkens instead graze throughout the day as they please- and even possibly that eating altogether is more a recreation to them, instead of a necessary function to sustain life. Some fans have speculated that the PAK could provide an Irken with all of the necessary energy to survive absent of nutrition. I kind of want to contest this, given that caloric energy is only one purpose of taking in food… but it’s definitely the most immediate one. Nonetheless, they still eat constantly on screen and it all has to be going somewhere. Whether they need it or not, they still readily digest snacks (and presumably use those chemical building blocks to regenerate tissue damage) with a terrifying metabolic efficiency. Assuming that the resemblance of their snack foods and our leisure treats are not purely coincidental, one gathers that sweetness is the largest dimension of Irken cuisine. They are drawn most enthusiastically to carb-dense synthetic, plant, and possibly fungal matter in the same way that the human brain lights up at the prospect of fat and sugar-loaded meals. The flexible tongues of Irkens to me also resemble the nectar catching, segmented mouthparts of some bees. I would be willing to bet that they can taste salt, but jury’s out if it is something they crave, like us, or are repulsed by, like ants. That would have to come down to the scarcity (or not) of the resource on their home planet and whether or not desiccation was a serious threat in their natural history. In other regards, Zim shows strong negative reactions to most Earth foods, if not physically, than in his expressions. They definitely have powerful vulnerabilities to many human ingredients, and so are very sensitive to the presence of these toxins. I can’t imagine acidic or bitter substances are at all pleasant to them.

Now comes the much more interesting question I’ve thought way too long and hard about in the shower a time or two. Knowing that Irkens are likely a herbivorous breed, ergo, thankfully would have no interest in the consumption of the human race… what about the vise versa??? I don’t just want to know what they taste, but what would they taste like?

So, you’ve decided to mix it up for the thanksgiving dinner and forgo the same boring old bird for an Irken you have vanquished (via what I can only imagine was a freaking miracle of luck). What should you come to expect? Most importantly and I must emphasize this, the secret to preparing their meat is the same as Tolkien dwarves, you have to skin them before anything else. The separation of edible tissues from the cuticle is necessary to avoid ingesting the defensive toxins it contains. Even if the concentration is not enough to provide a danger to you, it could end up contributing an unpleasant, bitter flavor to the final product.

That done, discard the head and digestive organs. True as it may be that Irkens are wholly free of parasites, with a chance that the viscera could be edible, it’s not likely to taste that great and besides, do you really want to take chances with exposing yourself to an entirely foreign gut biome you have no immune adaptations to? And don’t even think about the brain- I don’t care how rare the infection rates are, alien prions are a big no. If you happen to run into any cybernetic implants during the cleaning, however, set them aside! They could be worth a small fortune in the right circles. But, for the purpose of eating we’re really concerned with the muscle tissues, a delicate white meat with a texture similar to fresh crab. The bones need not be wasted, and are fine to leave in, or can be boiled on their own to make a flavorful stock which can be added to soups or a delightful gravy. A surprisingly practical use of Irken bone could also be in the compost bin, being rich in chitosan and other powerful garden fertilizers. The flesh can do well fried, or roasted to a crispy exterior. The oven rule is the same as chicken, low and slow, to prevent drying out. Don’t be afraid to experiment with the gravy idea or marinades. The flavor profile of the meat itself would be utterly unique from what most of us are used to, comparable to a nutty crayfish. Savory, a bit of a sweetness, and a mineral hint that pairs quite well with mushrooms or rice.

I can’t recommend serving this to any guests with shellfish allergies in good conscience. If they insist, do so in caution and with knowledge of the risk of cross reactivity.

And there you have …. certainly a thing I did write and queue up for y’all!

After the events of “Gaz: Taster of Pork”, I feel like it only would have been fair for Gaz to find her own spelldrive that curses Dib to do the Denzel Crocker spaz™ every time he mentions supernatural or extra terrestrial entities for the rest of his life.

That would be funny to do to him for no reason at all, too.

Zim and Gir have to go off world for a while. Important A-plot business. Eats up quite a few days of Earth time.

Naturally, Dib notices their absence and takes this as the perfect opportunity to make another break-in attempt at Zim’s base. Gets past the gnomes with one of his magazine doohickeys or science gizmos. Stops cold in his tracks after landing in the living room. There’s a heavy, colorful fog lining the ceiling in ghostly wisps. A foul, akrid odor clings to the air.

Sitting on the couch, covered in cheesy crumbs, open bag of space-Doritos beside him, is Invader Skoodge. Dib has never heard of or seen Skoodge. The guy is open mouthed and staring blankly at the Monty Python sequence playing out on the TV screen. He doesn’t seem to notice the new presence until Dib gives a confused “Um….”

The line of drool that was threatening to reach Skoodge’s shirt retreats back into his mouth. He turns slowly and stares hard at the intruder for a second of focusing. “Oh…” He smiles and greets with a “hey guy” and a half-hearted wave, and then he sinks a bit deeper into the sofa with a complacent expression.

“Bloopin” is playing in the background during this whole thing.

I'm only giving people an irkiddies pass if they aren't cowards about it. This is NOT a heavily sexually dimorphic species (I mean they’re sexless to begin with in canon). Even if they used to be, their technology is well past that, they're freaking tube-grown. The line in the sand is only drawn at the most minor aesthetic differences. Either chest meats for none, or chest meats for all. If you're already out there titting up the lady invaders yet unwilling to follow through with Big Naturals Skoodge, you are weak in the mind and spirit.

efurry time someone draws an irken with boobs a fairy loses its wings

#in his goop #the slop zone

You understand exactly. My people. Also the longer I listen to this song the dumber it gets in my head and I’m just laughing to myself at this point because of what a stupid video-game cutscene ass idea this is.

Skoodge: WoOAw, you know…? They were right, you are uglier than I am.

Dib: ???You’re not Zim.

Skoodge: Huh? Nah, nah… why, you looking for him?

Dib (increasingly weirded out): Yeah, well, originally. Are you- is this another Tak situation?

[He ignores Dib for a moment to ruffle around in the empty chip bag.]

Dib: Ahem ?

Skoodge: No, no everything’s fine. I don’t think anyone even knows I’m here. He’ll be back uhhhh-

Skoodge: sometime. Yah. I’m not worried about it.

[Dib takes a step back.]

Dib: O-kay, well, I’m just gonna- yeah.

[He gestures to his camera, stopping suddenly when he spots a comically conspicuous raygun-looking object he somehow didn’t before notice on the end table.]

[Fascinated, he takes a couple snapshots, then leaps in a panicked duck for cover when Skoodge reaches out and picks it up.

[Skoodge takes phat rips off of it.]

[It takes about 5 seconds for Dib to process the awkward disappointment of the entire situation. Spitefully, he makes sure he’s still recording, at least. Side-eyeing the preoccupied Irken, he continues prying around the room and interacting with random objects. Turning a knob on a nearby door reveals the roboparents. They activate.]

Dib: Oh no.

[Chaos ensues]

Zim and Gir have to go off world for a while. Important A-plot business. Eats up quite a few days of Earth time.

Naturally, Dib notices their absence and takes this as the perfect opportunity to make another break-in attempt at Zim’s base. Gets past the gnomes with one of his magazine doohickeys or science gizmos. Stops cold in his tracks after landing in the living room. There’s a heavy, colorful fog lining the ceiling in ghostly wisps. A foul, akrid odor clings to the air.

Sitting on the couch, covered in cheesy crumbs, open bag of space-Doritos beside him, is Invader Skoodge. Dib has never heard of or seen Skoodge. The guy is open mouthed and staring blankly at the Monty Python sequence playing out on the TV screen. He doesn’t seem to notice the new presence until Dib gives a confused “Um….”

The line of drool that was threatening to reach Skoodge’s shirt retreats back into his mouth. He turns slowly and stares hard at the intruder for a second of focusing. “Oh…” He smiles and greets with a “hey guy” and a half-hearted wave, and then he sinks a bit deeper into the sofa with a complacent expression.

“Bloopin” is playing in the background during this whole thing.

Control Brain, restraining Zim: This one is machine and nerve, and has its mind concluded…

Control Brain, restraining Dib: This one is but flesh and faith, and is the more deluded…

There’s no weirdness he could stoop to make himself suspicious of being anything but what they already see: the bizarre foreign kid who says or does out of pocket shit sometimes because he’s just like that™

It’s the moment you realize that, to the rest of the Skool children, Zim is their very own Rolf.

That’s insanely funny.

yeah it sucks that all the kids in dib’s class are mean to him but imagine if there was a kid with a skin condition in your class and some other kid tried to beat the shit out of him for it daily… id be mean to him too