Shitty Iz Plothooks - Tumblr Posts
Zim and Gir have to go off world for a while. Important A-plot business. Eats up quite a few days of Earth time.
Naturally, Dib notices their absence and takes this as the perfect opportunity to make another break-in attempt at Zim’s base. Gets past the gnomes with one of his magazine doohickeys or science gizmos. Stops cold in his tracks after landing in the living room. There’s a heavy, colorful fog lining the ceiling in ghostly wisps. A foul, akrid odor clings to the air.
Sitting on the couch, covered in cheesy crumbs, open bag of space-Doritos beside him, is Invader Skoodge. Dib has never heard of or seen Skoodge. The guy is open mouthed and staring blankly at the Monty Python sequence playing out on the TV screen. He doesn’t seem to notice the new presence until Dib gives a confused “Um….”
The line of drool that was threatening to reach Skoodge’s shirt retreats back into his mouth. He turns slowly and stares hard at the intruder for a second of focusing. “Oh…” He smiles and greets with a “hey guy” and a half-hearted wave, and then he sinks a bit deeper into the sofa with a complacent expression.
“Bloopin” is playing in the background during this whole thing.
#in his goop #the slop zone
You understand exactly. My people. Also the longer I listen to this song the dumber it gets in my head and I’m just laughing to myself at this point because of what a stupid video-game cutscene ass idea this is.
Skoodge: WoOAw, you know…? They were right, you are uglier than I am.
Dib: ???You’re not Zim.
Skoodge: Huh? Nah, nah… why, you looking for him?
Dib (increasingly weirded out): Yeah, well, originally. Are you- is this another Tak situation?
[He ignores Dib for a moment to ruffle around in the empty chip bag.]
Dib: Ahem ?
Skoodge: No, no everything’s fine. I don’t think anyone even knows I’m here. He’ll be back uhhhh-
Skoodge: sometime. Yah. I’m not worried about it.
[Dib takes a step back.]
Dib: O-kay, well, I’m just gonna- yeah.
[He gestures to his camera, stopping suddenly when he spots a comically conspicuous raygun-looking object he somehow didn’t before notice on the end table.]
[Fascinated, he takes a couple snapshots, then leaps in a panicked duck for cover when Skoodge reaches out and picks it up.
[Skoodge takes phat rips off of it.]
[It takes about 5 seconds for Dib to process the awkward disappointment of the entire situation. Spitefully, he makes sure he’s still recording, at least. Side-eyeing the preoccupied Irken, he continues prying around the room and interacting with random objects. Turning a knob on a nearby door reveals the roboparents. They activate.]
Dib: Oh no.
[Chaos ensues]
Zim and Gir have to go off world for a while. Important A-plot business. Eats up quite a few days of Earth time.
Naturally, Dib notices their absence and takes this as the perfect opportunity to make another break-in attempt at Zim’s base. Gets past the gnomes with one of his magazine doohickeys or science gizmos. Stops cold in his tracks after landing in the living room. There’s a heavy, colorful fog lining the ceiling in ghostly wisps. A foul, akrid odor clings to the air.
Sitting on the couch, covered in cheesy crumbs, open bag of space-Doritos beside him, is Invader Skoodge. Dib has never heard of or seen Skoodge. The guy is open mouthed and staring blankly at the Monty Python sequence playing out on the TV screen. He doesn’t seem to notice the new presence until Dib gives a confused “Um….”
The line of drool that was threatening to reach Skoodge’s shirt retreats back into his mouth. He turns slowly and stares hard at the intruder for a second of focusing. “Oh…” He smiles and greets with a “hey guy” and a half-hearted wave, and then he sinks a bit deeper into the sofa with a complacent expression.
“Bloopin” is playing in the background during this whole thing.
Control Brain, restraining Zim: This one is machine and nerve, and has its mind concluded…
Control Brain, restraining Dib: This one is but flesh and faith, and is the more deluded…
Actual question, what on earth was Skoodge even doing in Zim’s basement this entire time?
Canonically he reveals himself in a lost episode when he finally got bored hiding out down there and overheard there were shenanigans about to happen that he could join in on.
But he’s explicitly been there since Hobo 13.
…..
That was Season One. There’s been like 18 episodes between that and the series end. Valentines Day, Halloween, Minimoose’s birth, AND Christmas has passed in the meantime. Wtf has he been up to down there while also being undetected by Zim and Gir. Earth Tv? Space Tv? Stealing out of the pantry like a little mousey boy? Crawling through the walls looking for cheese and eavesdropping on Earth drama????
Not a week goes by where I don’t imagine how funny it would have been if Zim and Gir were out of house for a while and Dib just catches Skoodge casually wandering around on one of his spy cameras. Just
“Holy smokes Zim really let himself go” and then watched the round bastard do fuckall for like 3 days
Dib idly humming Flibba Dibba Hoinka Smeedge (it’s still stuck in his head from the whole Florpus adventure) at the Skool and Zim groaning when he recognizes the tune. Shouts at him to cut it out immediately. Turns out at some point that song was basically the space equivalent of “Friday” or “What Does the Fox Say” and he could never stand it. The lyrics are also absurdly vulgar in another language.
“Kidnap the Sandy Claws” but it’s Skoodge and GIR and Minimoose trying to impress/surprise Zim by going off all on their own against the Dib stink
Invader Zim fan fiction/comic where Dib breaks into the base and Skoodge (Like that old lady from Ratatouillie) screams and shoots him as a reflex and yeah he just fucking dies.
Cut to Zim getting home with the space milk later, while GIR’s cleaning up.
Skoodge of course, blissfully oblivious to how short his lifeclock’s timer is about to run:
Another horrible IZ Prompt: Zim’s base becomes the host of a small infestation of Earth vermin. Maybe some test subjects expected from the lab. Maybe some just burrowed in from the surface. Honestly, my money’s on GIR smuggling them through and they set up a nest near the pantry area.
Anyway, Skoodge sees them and starts flipping the fuck out because what else is he to assume but that a lucky handful of Blorch orphans have miraculously survived and now they have come to reap vengeance.
ALTERNATIVELY: that is exactly what has in fact happened, Blorch pups just happen to look exactly like Earth rodents (like the Plague of Babies incident) and are equally as good at stowing away on ships. They hide this fact from anyone encountering them except Skoodge, progressively making him look crazier and crazier even to the other wingnuts living in Zim’s base.
My job in voting and spreading the poll done,
Tangential, but because I love subversive and cheeky humor, imagine if we asspulled and made trendy a different joke where Irkens turn out by freak biological coincidence to be extremely susceptible to nicotine addictions. Where’s my vaping zim headcanons- or better yet, where are my fanworks of Skoodge and Zim reenacting this absurdity basically shot for shot?
Buckshot Roulette but it’s Zim as the cocky dealer who agreed to this instead of another fight, Dib as the challenger, and both of them are only still standing by pushing the limits of stubborn will, adrenaline, spite, and very advanced technology.
As well maybe I just wanted to imagine something like buckshot roulette being exactly the kind of whacky shit Irkens would unironically do for sport because of their healing factor and dystopic/cynical af society…
Okay the secret main reason I wanted to visualize this is because it could be really, really funny. I’m dead certain Zim would play exactly like the BR dealer’s AI. You can’t tell me it wouldn’t happen any other way than this: Dib scathing by on calculating statistical odds, using items strategically, and making the logical decisions with his turns, while Zim can’t even keep count of how many rounds are chambered.
Like with Zim’s.. abundance of confidence you can’t tell me there would not be moments between them like this
Invader Zim AU but the Tallests send that pipsqueak to Planet 4546B instead of Earth lol
If I were Dib honestly I wouldn’t be doing TikTok prank antics with Zim like throwing lunch meats and cheese slices at his head when he’s not looking I’d be pelting that bastard with commercial pesticides based off whatever hunch about his biology entered my mind. There’s so much room for REAL investigative science here, like learning what happens when Irken skin comes into contact with DDT or triadimefon.
Series finale where Zim thinks he’s been uncovered for real because he doesn’t understand civil municipal court any better than he understands the FBI:
Zimvoid but edited into I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream because I am extremely sleep deprived and too much time on hands before I can go to bed
This is straight up horror because this is the main way I imagine this setup going down the second GIR is left alone in there with him
invader zim episode where dib has to go to the dentist to get a cavity filled but for some reason zim and gir are his dentists (they have no idea what a dentist is or what they do, medical malpractice ensues. they locked the real dentist in a dumpster btw.)