Joke - Tumblr Posts
The owl joke an animation by me ... the character and the audio do not belong to me tho
how come this younger generation of drivers are all ink free virgins....... there's like such a generation divide of who has tatts (lewis, fernando, DR, kmag) in the current grid. I think the only one of the younger generation is lance?? smh the rest need to pick up the slack on the cuntometer
I saw this joke/story where a guy watched a game of (American) Football with his girlfriend and afterwards he asked her if she liked it and she said ‘no, because they spent the whole time trying to get the quarter back; it’s only twenty-five cents.’
i love how men mock women for being overemotional and then lose their shit over a team losing an over-glorified game of fetch
me: i wanna be like my hair
my friend: why? coz it's shiny and smooth?
me: no. coz it's ded.
i would commit unearthly most violent insane crime just so i could have matt murdock as my lawyer
King James was such a silly guy
12 A.M VS 12 PM
12 P.M: Okay, yeah I guess I'll watch Netflix
12 A.M: So theoretically, if I were to burn down the world and it somehow survive and I for whatever reason decide to run the planet and people for whatever reason don't question it, what would be the best way to rule?
You know those nights where you stay up late talking to your friends and just start to casually talk about what you expect the next year to be like?
Well turns out some people don't go into vague detail about putting someone you dislike's toothbrush into vinegar and stuffing baking soda into their mouth before chucking the toothbrush at them. Weird right?
my therapist: I’m not going to tell you to not kill yourself but think of the consequences
me: ummmmm
therapist: you really can think of anything?
me: my siblings win the contest
alright man its time to draw cross and epic passionately making out. 🙄
🍋✨Mari Ohara (๑>◡･̑๑)👌 🍋💫
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Periodic Table of WOKE
Gaydon She/He lium [Bi]sexual Trans Metals LGBTium Uranium Roentgenium Gallium Yttrium (URgGaY) Xenongender
Neonpronouns
Do you ever just wake up and just look at your search history from the night before, and think "who on earth wrote this, because they sure as hell aren't SANE." Because I definitely do.😞
My dumbass for a second: "mhmm, yes, switch from body parts to soap" : /
If you already purchase body products online, switching to purchase buying soaps, body oils, lotions, etc from Native elders who have been making natural body products for generations is really easy. I usually hop on Beyond Buckskin when I want to buy a gift for someone or myself, they have a Buy Native List directory here. I just bought three of my close friends (who all have just had a birthday or are having a birthday soon) soaps from here and here
Tony, entering the Avengers Tower to see Steve mixing garlic, onions, tomato sauce, lemons, curry, apple juice and marmelade together: Okay, so what’s that supposed to be?
Steve: Well, I talked to Stephen some minutes ago
Steve: He stared me in the eyes very seriously
Steve: And after I had asked him what’s wrong, he told me I’d have to drink this or otherwise I’ll die because of a disease called... stultiae stevei. I mean, he’s a doctor, so-
Tony, rushing out of the tower: HONEY, WE HAVE TO TALK
Tony: AND I’M SURE STEVE’S NOT GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF HIS OWN STUPIDNESS, THAT’S NOT EVEN A REAL DISEASE
Tony, stopping abruptly: ... or is it, though
mattpatt horribly out of context
THIS IS SO INSANE I’M ORBITING 😭😭😭😭
“andre and cal would never act like that—“
I DONT GIVE A FUCKKKKK
