Jungkook Soft Yandere - Tumblr Posts

college crush - 4

summary : college au l when the frontier between a crush and an obsession blurs, how can you draw the line?

pairing : shy n clingy bf! jk × black fem! reader

genre : fluff, soft yandere | headcanons

word count : 3980, on going story

warnings : a bit angsty in the beginning with very harsh self-talk, description of self-neglect and implication of suicidal thoughts because Jungkook has low self-esteem

author's note : thank you so much @armydgirl for commenting “I need more of this” under the last chapter because it motivated me to finish this in like 2 days when I’ve been stuck on this for months. I’m really thankful for everyone who’s been reading this story so far ! There is one last chapter left. What do you think will happen ? (∩˃o˂∩) enjoy my loves and as always, all comments are well appreciated ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა ₊˚⊹♡

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4/ when imagination and reality combines, your dreams come true

- No-thing : there is no good or bad

The morning after you received the apology letter from your secret admirer, and now intruder, you were feeling pretty excited

It’s like their morbid obsession rubbed off on you and you were kind of starting to feel the same ? towards them ?

Was it ok though… to feel this way. You didn’t know

Anyways !

Even though it sounds like you are not making much sense, you’ve had a very fulfilling sleep actually

And it is now time to tackle the daily tasks your world awaits from you : attend classes, study and work

Before leaving you remember to put up the little surprise for your admirer

You already prepared the note in response to their apology letter the night before, so you just install it evidently in the middle of your main table with a glass of water

(you figured since you want them to clean your place they will be thirsty afterwards — hence the water)

Then you attended to your occupations

With an intrigued heart beating hard in your chest from anticipation, and a slight smile on your face

- Any-thing : signs follow, they do not precede

Because Jungkook didn’t have class this morning but he knew you did, he decided to pay you a visit

This visit is special : it is the first one in a few weeks, right after the apology letter

For some context…. it was not looking good for him. Like, he’s been going through a very tough period

When he took the hoodie with him on his last visit, he felt so proud of himself for having the courage to take a piece of you and bring it back to his home

He has never felt this euphoric

He would put the hoodie up to his nose and smell it to ingrain your body odor in his brain

He would wear it to bed and hug himself imagining it was you cuddling him with your arms circling around his waist and messaging his back to soothe him

The euphoria lasted a few days

He didn’t even go back to your place or send letters in the meantime like,,, he was fully satiated

Then your sent started to fade away progressively and he figured he needed to go back to your place

But he realized that… you were kind of actively using this hoodie. You must have noticed it was gone

What if you knew it was him ? What if you were hating him for stealing something from you ?

In his defense, it wasn’t exactly stealing because he planned on putting it back

He wanted to put his scent on it and give it back to you, so you could get intoxicated about him the same way he was about you

But his doubts and insecurities started eating him alive

“What if she thinks you stink ? She would never accept back a hoodie from a dirty man.”

“Scratch that : she would never accept the hoodie back from you at all, because she hates you.”

“You broke into her home so many times and stole from her. Don’t you think there’s consequences to your actions ?

“Karma exists and she’s out to get you”

“Don’t even think you have a chance with her anymore. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t love you and never will again.”

“Hell, I’m sure she forgot you since you don’t even send letters anymore.”

“You’re nothing but a fleeting bad memory, plaguing her brain.”

“Stay away from her, you monster.”

The mental self-harm was so harsh, he absolutly didn’t leave his room anymore

Not to study, not to work — not even to eat

He didn’t go to photography class anymore because he couldn’t even have the guts to face you after all this

He felt so so bad for so long

At some point, he was truly starting to decay and felt like he wanted to see you one last time before dying.

So, he showered for the first time in like a week

Dressed up in all black, popped on a large black bob

And went out, looking for you

It was something like 2 PM on a Wednesday

According to your schedule, you were supposed to be at the campus library studying a bit before your afternoon classes

And like clockwork, right after entering the library, he spotted you from afar

You were at the very end of the long hall, sitting alone with your books and your computer.

Your back was facing him so you couldn’t notice him staring at you with tears in his eyes

How could he let himself rot away when you were the light he needed in his life ?

How could he leave you this way when you needed him to protect, love and provide for you ?

It was inconceivable that he wasn’t taking care of you anymore, and that he even entertained the idea of never doing it ever again

He needed to bounce back immediately.

So, he sprinted back to his place,

Shuffled through his desk to grab a piece of paper and a pen,

And got to work.

He was still crying uncontrollably while trying to put his thoughts onto the paper

After 3 crappy letters and lots of crossed-out sentences, he figured he needed to calm down in order to properly deliver the best piece of literature ever

The one letter that could melt the heart of a statue and that will recover your relationship, without a doubt.

That’s when he came up with the apology letter you received.

Shortly after writing it, he decided on an express delivery to your place,

So you could read it and contemplate on his fate during the night or whatever

And while you do that, he would come the next day bearing gifts :

a brand new hoodie to replace the old one, a flower bouquet to decorate your house and give you a piece of himself and some of your favorite fruits to nourish your tummy and your soul

Their job was to make you realize that he was very serious about this relationship with you.

To remove any doubts about taking him back into your life

This was his plan, and to him it was infaillible.

Fast forward to today

There he was, in front of your door, with his arms full of gifts for you, and on the verge of throwing up and pissing himself on the spot

He waited there a good 10 minutes until someone across the corridor unlocked their door to come out of their room.

Since the last thing he wanted to do was get caught, he hurried inside your place.

He closed his eyes, and almost started to hyperventilate but he managed to calm himself down.

One — inhale… exhale

Two — inhale… exhale

Three — inhale….

On the exhale, he slowly opened his eyes and was greeted by the silence and stillness of your room.

He felt so at ease, so happy to be back — where he belongs.

After a few more seconds in contentment, he decided to install his things and get back out

But as he emptied his arms onto the table, he noticed you left a note on it

He wasn’t sure if it was for yourself or for him, so he took it out of pure curiosity

Upon reading it, his heart almost jumped out of his chest

It was your answer to the apology letter.

You responded to him !!!!

Oh my God.

You finally acknowledged him

AND you deliberately wanted him to alter your living space to clean and order your things

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

This was a gift from God

He was so happy, he fell down on his knees and held the note right over his heart

After getting down from the high, he arranged his gifts onto your table and got to work.

He never cleaned a place this meticulously in his entire life

This was almost cathartic

Like he was cleaning his sins away and prepping for a squeaky clean new slate for your relationship to start again from

When he was done he felt very proud of himself and was so happy to have been able to tremendously help you for something you needed

He didn’t plan on writing anything because he didn’t expect you to answer to him ;

But since you did, and he executed your request, he took a piece of paper and one of your cute bullet pens to write back to you :

“I cleaned your whole entire place just as you asked, my princess. I will always do absolutely everything that you ever request from me, with immeasurable joy and love every single time. I can’t wait until I can permanently take care of you and provide for you at all times. I can’t wait until the day I can hold you close in my arms, look straight into your gorgeous sparkling irises and tell you that I live for you, for you are my entire life. I bought you a new hoodie as I promised. I also bought some beautiful scented flowers and your favorite fruits. Please accept all of this as a proof of my endless unconditional love for you. Take care of yourself my angel, and never forget that you are the light that guides me through darkness. If you ever need me again, I’ll always be right here. — your secret admirer”

He has to physically contain himself from taking anything before leaving

But it’s less difficult than last time, because he never felt so fulfilled in his entire life

He realized that he feels the most joyful and alive when he does things for you.

He is now convinced that he truly lives for you, and that you are promised to him.

After a long and exhausting day, you finally went home.

The excitement and curiosity was eating you alive.

Did they come today ? Did they notice the little note ? Did they clean the house ?

You were truly hoping that they did come, and that if they did, they didn’t ignore you, because that would be sad.

As you open the door, you immediately notice how your room smells fresh and fruity

A quick look around reveals that your room is very much clean, as if it had been ran over by a cleaning crew

But the most surprising thing is the pile of stuff on your table

There were : a new and very cool hoodie, apples raisins and peaches, and a large bouquet of flowers with a very sweet scent.

You were filled with glee and contentment

This is the confirmation that this really isn’t a prank by your friends, but that there is truly someone out there that is invested in you

That is so cute ?!

You are so caught up with all of these gifts and new realizations that you almost don’t notice the letter

A new letter from your secret admirer !!!

This is a gift from God

After reading it… you feel like crying.

Nobody ever made you feel this way. Nobody ever went out of their way to make sure that you were good, that you had everything you needed, that you were taking care of yourself.

To have someone you don’t even know care that much…. is something indescribable.

You couldn’t not develop some feelings back for them, even if you wanted to

They were becoming a constant presence in your life and you truly didn’t want it to stop.

This night, you both fell asleep under the same sky, and asking the same stars to reunite you, for you belonged together.

- Some-thing : flowers bloom, even in concrete

The next morning, Jungkook is going to the local cafe for his occasional dose of caffeine, when he sees something that makes him stop dead in his tracks.

You are walking around the campus, with the brand new hoodie he gave you just the day before.

You must have felt his eyes bore holes into your sides, because you turn around and look right into his eyes.

Realizing you’ve met eyes with the cute nerdy guy from photography class, you politely smile and wave your hand at him

Then, you keep going your way, oblivious about what you’ve caused

He could only instinctively wave back at you with a shy smile

He keeps staring at you walking with a bouncy and bright demeanor until you are out of sight

This whole encounter is so overwhelming to him that he has to rush to the nearest campus toilet

He just saw the literal [love of his life] walk around outside with something he choose specifically for her and smile at him.

You were accepting and proudly using his gifts for you. His proof of his love for you.

It is the absolute and ultimate proof that you are also totally in love with him

He could not contain his emotions even if he tried to. It was too much

So, he locks himself inside a toilet to hide his boner and cry from joy

He is as hard as he is happy. This is everything to him.

Literally all of his dreams are coming true.

So, he decides that from now on, he’ll send you more gifts and love letters than ever

Because he just cannot get over the fact that he can send you stuff and you will just… use them ??

Absolutely crazy and groundbreaking.

The next few weeks, on top of following you everywhere and taking pictures of you, he started stalking you on social media

If he felt like a pretty discrete and laid back admirer before, he definitely feels like a total stalker now

But he isn’t a creep, and you’re receptive to his moves. So it’s not bad, right ?

Anyways

He was mainly in search of a potential wishlist you posted or some posts where you expressed your interest in something

He has bookmarked almost all your “I want this 😖” & “I wish 😿” tweets

Each time he would find a post of you wanting anything, ranging from :

New clothes or cute jewelry to plushies plants and books,

He would buy it and deliver it to your place with an affirming love note attached

Saying stuff like :

“you deserve everything that you ever want and need my love”

or :

“as long as I’m alive, rest easy and know that you will always be taken care of”

But, he also had his own wishlist of stuff he wanted to offer to you

Recently, he bought a cute platted skirt that would would perfectly hug your waist and make your legs stand out — in his opinion — just because he thought it would fit your style

(and it did)

He had tons of carts scattered everywhere on the internet, even on lingerie websites,

Not because he wanted to see you in them but because he wanted you to feel good, comfortable and valued in your own body

Ok he’s obsessed with you but. He’s still an asexual

Talking about that, he is not worried about his sexuality, in fact he is so grateful he fell for you because your were so open and accepting

He overheard you talking about never feeling like anyone would love you just for you, and being scared of being used for your body and never finding true love

That there are multiple ways to love others, and that a relationship shouldn’t revolve around sex

He knew that he had all of his chances and he was the absolute best candidate that met all your standards and that could please and fulfill you in the right way.

Also, he doubled the amount of time he spent at your place

(behind your back, as always)

With each visit, he brings your favorite fruits and sometimes restocks your fridge and cupboards if he sees you’re running out of everything

How does he even manage to finance this lifestyle, you ask ?

Well, do you remember: he is a talented photographer.

He was booked and busy before, but retired when he started college due to lack of time and the loss of all the passion and drive necessary to keep up that kind of side hustle

Now that his passion and drive was back — all thanks to you — He started selling his services as a photographer and as a video editor again.

And he was making bank !

You are such a blessing in his life, he will never be thankful enough for your existence.

You were creating all these opportunities for his to grow as a person and improve his life, it was crazy how he changed so much in so little time.

And to recap the state of The Plan ™️ : he’s making Big Moves.

He was slowly but steadily becoming a known and stable occurrence in your life

Half of the plushies you owned were bought by him.

Some of the coolest clothes and shoes and jewelry : bought by him.

The books that you were obsessed about recently ? You guessed it, bought by him.

Even the only pieces of lingerie you had were bought by him.

He was nourishing your body and nurturing your heart.

Seeing you walk around campus proudly while constantly wearing the very outfits Jungkook once daydreamed about has been an insane experience

Knowing that you were eating the food he bought for you and consuming the letters he kept writing and gifting to you….

(he still checked your bins regularly to make sure you were still accepting him)

It made him feel immense pride and contentment.

He was at his peak in terms of interaction in his life right now.

He never made it this far in a relationship

And he knew he wanted more ; but he didn’t want to burn his wings by flying too high too fast.

He knew that patience was key

And he was right because eventually, you were the one to cross the bridge.

- Every-thing : no matter what happens, the universe expands and time flows

One day, you left a note asking for the number of your secret admirer.

It was random, truly, because you usually never answer to their letters directly.

Sure, you would stick a post-it sometimes suggesting a new type of fruit for them to bring to your place for you to try

Or expressing appreciation for an item they bought you recently and that you really enjoy

But it was still very scattered and anecdotical

So much that Jungkook cherished each and every note of yours in a special binder — and if he could frame them he would.

All that to say : that day was different.

You felt it in the air

It’s been 3 months now since the secret admirer thing has started to be pretty serious… with the admiration.

But at this point, you wanted more.

Did you want attention ? distraction ?… love ?

You couldn’t pinpoint a specific need, and you didn’t know exactly what were your motivations ; but you knew something was missing.

Also you needed an answer to your never ending questions

Who are they ? What are they passionate about ? How do they envision their future ?

…Why you ?

Interrogations and curiosity bubbled in your mind like a bottle of sparkling water

You pondered for quite some time about the way you would go to reach your goal

Should you :

ask them to take you on a date, or

invite them over for dinner at your place, or

go to the cinemas with them, or

have a picnic in a park with them, or…..??

The thing is : every option seemed dangerous, especially because you actually didn’t know a single thing about them

Sure, as of now they’ve never attempted to hurt you and they claim to love you much more than life itself

But. You weren’t reckless nonetheless and you’ve watched too much true crime documentaries to even entertain these ideas

So you settled on a post-it note with “can I have the number of my secret admirer, so I can admire them too ?” written on it

Simple is king !

You went to sleep that night with a knot in your stomach and your heart beating loud in your chest as if it were the day before a final exem

The next day, Jungkook entered your place bearing gifts as always without expecting a thing

While checking around as usual, he noticed the post-it on the door of your fridge asking for his number

… Huh ?!

He literally froze in disbelief and read it over and over again to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

How come you were asking for his number. His. number.

The plan was working like a charm in such a way that he would’ve never expected in a million years

This was so much more than what he could’ve ever asked for

He did try to think about how to make a move to get closer to you ; but he didn’t feel ready yet and wanted to wait more

And now, you’re the one who decided to take matters into your own hands and accelerate everything

It was absolutely crazy

You. wanted. HIM.

Well… not really exactly him

In fact, he noticed you used non-gendered pronouns to address him and realized that you barely knew anything about him

Progressively, he got down from his high and he wiped the tears that fell from his eyes unbeknownst to him

He did want to give you his number, but… the group project in photography class was coming sooner or later and he didn’t want you to connect the dots just yet

He decided to buy a new SIM card from which he will text you

So, he wrote you back immediatly, telling you to wait for him to be ready for you and that he’ll give it to you soon.

A few days later, he came back and instead of delivering the usual LLOTD [love letter of the day] he wrote a note specifically to answer the number question

"Looking at the crescent moon, I see your face in its bright pure aura. Knowing that eventually its going to become a full moon lighting up the sky during the night, like your beautiful face lights up my life each time I look at you, makes me realize I love looking forward to the future only when I know you're going to be in it."

At the end of the poem, he wrote his special number with a heart next to his usual "— your secret admirer" signature

He went back to his place being very much full of glee, and eager to get a response from you.

When you got home from class, you saw his note and your belly immediately filled up with butterflies

Finally, it was time.

Seeing your emotional reaction to their answer you knew you did the right thing

You were going to get your answers to the many questions you've been asking yourself

But, more importantly, you were going to get closer to them.

You pondered for a long time before decinding on what to text them

You wanted to try and write a poem for them too but you felt like you couldn't match their skill and profoundence of their words just yet

You settled on :

"Hey ^^ this is [y/n]. Thank you for giving me your number ! I can't wait to get to know more about you"

Little did you know that… the best was yet to come.

college crush - 5

summary: college au I when the frontier between a crush and an obsession blurs, how can you draw the line?

pairing: shy n clingy bf! jk × black fem! reader

genre: fluff, soft yandere | headcanons

word count: 4,300. on going story

warnings: physical violence ideation (Jungkook wants to slit someone’s throat), light mention of homophobia, description of comp-het, description of sexual violence because of acephobia (y/n is spiraling)

author's note: hi lovelies, it’s been a year since the last update, can you believe it ? I keep saying that there is only one last chapter left, but then I keep having more ideas and the story keeps expending ; so I’ll just stop saying that. ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა This chapter is a bit spicier than all the other ones, Jungkook is getting closer to his goal ! But is it really going to be as easy as he thinks it’ll be ? I truly hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it my loves. As always, I love reading your comments and I hope you know that it really hypes me up to beat writer’s block and finish this story ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

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5/ Wanting to fly the nest as far as he could, the bird aims for the sun, like Icarus, daring to rise to its death

— The bird, that just learned how to fly, soars with all his might

Its been two weeks now since you both started texting each other

At the beginning he was so nervous just thinking about directly speaking with you

He would overthink every single text he sent you for 20 minutes straight minimum

But the conversation started to flow very easily and chemistry began to develop between the two of you

It grew so much that you’ve been exchanging messages every single day with no fail, talking about any and every thing

On top of that, jungkook continued to send you gifts and come to your place while you’re not there

It added a special taste to know that whenever he would send you anything or clean your place or fill up your fridge

You would text him a few hours later to express gratitude and contentment

It filled his heart with pure joy and love for you even more now that he had your approval in real time

He didn’t need to constantly check your bins anymore

Jungkook felt his heartbeat rush and adrenaline spike up every single time you’d send him a message

It was truly heaven on earth

Now, for you… things were a bit different.

Sure, there was a cool situationship in the making

But it just wasn’t enough. you knew you needed more

You couldn’t just fall in love with a concept

You needed to put a face to it.

You decided to get bold today and proposed to arrange a date with your secret admirer

Yes this was a careless and rushed decision, whatever

But you were tired of playing it safe and decided to take matters into your own hands

Since your secret admirer wasn’t gonna be the one to do so

When jungkook received your advance he couldn’t believe his eyes and literally fell to his knees in the middle of the library

His ultimate crush was asking him out.

Asking him, out.

He knows that he’s been making a lot of efforts by talking directly to you everyday

(Even repeating that sentence in his head was making him feel dizzy)

But he couldn’t bring himself to actually reveal his whole identity to you just yet

So, he declines your offer by honestly revealing that he does not feel ready to face you at the moment

He wanted to pretend to be very sick and not wanting to contaminate you

But he absolutely loathed himself for even thinking about lying to you and betraying your trust in him

He still feels like shit because of his cowardliness

But he knows this is for the greater good of your relationship

Now, don’t get him wrong : he’s not near giving up.

The rest of his plan is waiting for the photography class partner project to unfold

But the thing is, their refusal disheartened you a bit

You thought everything was going so well between you ?

Why do they chicken out all of a sudden when it’s time to make things concrete between you ?

Are they very shy ?

Are they very ugly ?

Or are they an actual creepy serial killer that is not supposed to be on this campus ?

You tried to reassure them by stating that you’re sure that they’re a total hottie

And that there’s no reason for them to be shy with you anymore

However, your excitement started to wear off a bit, unbeknownst to Jungkook.

— The bird, finally resting for the first time in a while, inopportunely falls from a breaking branch

The following week on a tuesday, it finally arrives

The group project in photography class. the most crucial event for the rest of The Plan ™️

He tried hard to make a good first impression with his outfit

He wore a hoodie in your favorite color, slim jeans to reveal his thighs (because he overheard you talking about liking strong legs in guys) and black boots to appear more “hard” & “cool” (that’s also your type it seems)

You were wearing a very pretty light dress with some oversized pants and an oversized jacket to top it all

You were so outstandingly beautiful and cool, he just couldn’t compete with you even if he tried

The professor came in at the same time as you (you made it in time today he notes) and started the class directly by talking about the group project

But instead of a duo, like he imagined, the project will be in a quatuor with 2 boys and 2 girls

AND he already made the groups so no one could choose

The room audibly moaned and complained while he remained silent but his blood was boiling

He could not be more confused, angry and disappointed.

While the professor was calling the members of every groups out loud, he prayed to all the Gods and angels listening to please let him be with you

Even if there will be others he absolutely needed to be by your side.

He couldn’t bear leaving you all alone with two random men and no one to protect you

It seems one of the holy spirits heard his desperate pleading and answered immediately

Because the professor called his name right after yours

He doesn’t have the time to digest what just happened because the professor is already rushing everyone to gather in groups and introduce themselves

While everyone rearrange the tables and sit again, he succeeds in sitting in front of you

But he can hardly handle to look into your eyes from this close without fainting

This is the nearest he has ever been to you in real life and it truly feels like a dream come true

He can actually admire you from up close… he can smell you… he can almost touch your hand if he tries… and he wasn’t hiding from you anymore

It felt so right and natural to be in your space and bask in your presence

He was fully floating on a cloud focusing on nothing else but you and your voice

The rest of the class goes pretty smoothly with everyone introducing themselves and giving their inquiry about the project

Though he sat there in silence the entire time

While the only thing he mustered up enough courage to say was :

“Hi, my name is Jungkook. Nice to meet you all”

He was way too shy at the idea of talking to you viva voce in this context

He could try talking with you one-on-one if the project was a duo, like he planned.

But with two other strangers nearby watching and judging ?

Hell no, that was just too much all at once

Nevertheless, he does not regret witnessing you being the absolute brightest star right in front of him, even in silence

You were so full of life, energy and motivation for this project that it was actually hyping him up

Even though he really didn’t give a fuck about it in the first place

But it seems he wasn’t the only person entranced by you

Because why was this other guy clearly trying to flirt with you right in front of everyone ?

Thankfully it seems like you’ve got no clue and you’re not playing into his games at all

But Jungkook has to deal with him.

He wanted to just slit his throat so bad right then and there, without any hesitation.

But he knows he cannot show this side of himself to you just yet, and definitely not in the middle of this class

He’s gonna get rid of him definitely without scaring you off

No other boy has the right to have access to you other than him

You were his soulmate and his only.

He promised to himself to make this punk get it as soon as possible

At the end of the hour, this fucker has the audacity to ask for your number, and only yours

“it’s to talk about the project more in depth, you know !”

The holy spirits truly were by his sides today, because you suggested to have a group chat instead

“it’s to make the conversation about the project more efficient, you know !”

Everyone gives you their number and you create the groupchat right away before you all part ways

The walk home from this session at the photography class was the worst one he’s had in a while

He couldn’t even bask in the feelings of pure joy, love and excitement he has felt by being this close to you

He even gave you his real number for you to text the real him !

That was supposed to be one of the best moments of his life, right before :

your first kiss,

your marriage,

and your first child together.

But instead, he simply felt like absolute shit for witnessing a man blatantly flirting with his promised partner right in front of his face

And not doing anything to stop it and protect you.

He knows he can always count on you to preserve yourself for him and him only

But it certainly won’t last long if he doesn’t do anything

He feels really powerless and he does not like it one bit

He has to reverse the situation to promptly get rid of this parasite and secure his place in your heart

— The heavily weakened bird serendipitously finds some food on the ground

The thing is, he was so focused on his feelings for you and that other douchebag that he did not even notice everything else that happened outside of that

Like the fact that the other girl of the group was clearly trying to hit on him too

but he was so oblivious he only responded to her with vague hmms indicating yes or no

Or the fact that his charm and his silence intrigued you the most and you definitely wanted to spend more time with him to break his shell

Like, he was seriously one of the most beautiful boy you’ve ever seen.

The way his long hair and square glasses perfectly framed his angelic face

The way he was not able to say a single word during the entire hour

And the way he blushed + looked away shyly any time anyone glanced for a little too long at him……

His cuteness already caught your eye before but this meeting solidified your crush for him even more

He was effortlessly checking every box of your ideal type one by one, it was not even funny

So much so that you started to wonder if it was worth entertaining a situationship with a potentially dangerous secret admirer

That is not even bold enough to show their face despite claiming to be deeply in love with you

Rather than shooting your shot with the cute nerdy guy from photography class

That is a very real person within reach, even if there is no certitude that he’s interested in you in the slightest

It was starting to hurt your head to think this much about all this

so you decided to open up to your secret admirer

Hoping to wake them up, for good.

After closing the door to his room, Jungkook received a very lengthy message from you where you disclosed all your doubts about him and your relationship

That’s when he truly lost it and started to sob uncontrollably

He realized that he was seriously on the verge of actually losing you for good

After all the hard work he has done to get to this point

He was inconsolable and cried in a ball on the ground for a good ten minutes

After calming down a bit, he realized that you were giving him the opportunity to officially deepen the connection between you

This was his last chance to truly secure his way to your heart, and you were the one giving it to him

He simply did not deserve the pure kindness of your soul and you still gave it to him

He made the very important decision on the spot to bend The Plan™️

You wanted to know more of his identity ? so be it.

He answered :

“My sweetest love. Thank you for trusting me and pushing for me to still be in your life after I’ve been such a coward. I do not deserve your grace, but I will prove to you by all means that my love for you is infaillible. From now on, you will receive pictures from me about myself and my daily life, and even audios of me directly reading my poems to you, if you feel comfortable with that. I will do my best to get you to know me on a more personal level, so you can realize that I am the perfect pretender to be your lifelong partner and that we are meant to be together forever. But know that at the moment, I still can’t reveal my whole identity to you, whether it be my face or my name, because of personal reasons you will soon understand. Please tell me if this satisfies your needs for now, and I will begin immediately.”

He knew he would have to push through a lot of boundaries within himself to uphold these promises

But he was willing to do absolutely anything for you, your love and your happiness

And to be by your sides

When you received their answer, you got reminded why you loved talking to your secret admirer so much

They were so dramatic sometimes, it was really funny and relieved your stress more often than not

You couldn’t do anything but accept their request without a second thought when it was presented in such a classy and solemn way

It was not exactly what you asked for, but you respected their decision and noted their efforts to try and meet your request still

You did not really pay more attention to it and move on with your life

Until you almost choked to death on your tea 10 minutes later

Since they said that they will not be showing their face, you thought they would exclusively send you innocent pictures of their daily life and stuff

How naive of you to think that.

After opening your phone notification you couldn’t help but stare at your screen, eyes wide open, with your eyebrows touching the ceiling

Instead of a candid still of some food on a plate like you expected

You were met with the mirror picture of a literal greek god with a full sleeve of tattoos, right out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel on their head and another one hanging low on their waist

They followed up on the pic with the wittiest text you’ve ever read from them

“You’re such a lucky princess because I just started my night routine. I’ve been itching to send you pictures like these for so long but I had to make sure the timing was right. I cannot wait to include you in my daily life. Do you want me to do a tour of all the skin care products I use to take care of the body you’re looking at ?”

“Oh, and my pronouns are he/him by the way ;)”

There is no way he’s not fucking with you right now. Absolutely no way.

You’ve been gawking at your phone with your mouth agape for so long, you did not notice the trail of saliva connecting your lips to your thighs.

He even has the time to send you another message apologizing if he made you uncomfortable with his naked body and promising to never cross your boundaries ever again

And that from now on he’ll only send you pictures of him fully clothed, even if it might compromise his anonymity

You collect yourself just enough to send :

“Please send me a real picture of yourself. I cannot believe you’re trying to catfish me after we’ve been talking together for so long.”

It was a bit harsh you admit, but you had to make sure that this wasn’t just some enormous prank

And that you’ve been made fun of this entire time

At first, he got hurt that you actually thought that he was a catfish and that he couldn’t possibly be this good looking

But he remembered that he was still an anonymous stalker in your eyes and that you were a very intelligent woman

It was totally understandable that you’d still be on your guard

Jungkook simply answers back :

“I would absolutely never play in your face and break your trust like that my love. You can make a reverse search on this picture. I took it right now and you’re the only person besides me that has ever laid eyes on it on this earth. All of this is reserved just for you.”

You do as he told and… you simply can’t believe it.

He is right : the picture is nowhere to be found on the internet

That’s when it really kicked in

You actually bagged the literal finest man in campus without doing anything

And he is the one that’s absolutely obsessed with you ??

He is the one who spoils you and showers you with love at any occasion without any inquiry on you part ??

You must have saved the entire human civilization in another life, because there was simply no way in hell this was real

You had to apologize. You were truly not familiar with his game.

You answer back :

“Look, I’m sorry to have doubted you but you’ve always been anonymous this entire time and we haven’t really gotten to know each other on a deeper level just yet. You know what ? You can send me all the pictures you’d like, but no dick pic please, I’m truly not into that.”

“Thank you again for accepting to reveal more of yourself to me, I’m really enjoying this ! You look very good…”

When he finished reading your message he was smiling from ear to ear

Oh, he knew he won.

— Against all odds, the bird perks up and flaps his wings again

Following this event, you started sending pictures of each other on the regular

You were sending him selfies mostly, not comfortable enough to reveal your body like he does

Jungkook did not mind one bit

He worshipped every single picture you sent to him regardless, going as far as printing and framing them all

His room was starting to fill up with all the pictures of you that you sent him, along side the stolen cliches he took of you

He was literally living his dream life.

He couldn’t believe how far he’d gone in the pursuit of his love, and how far it led him

On the flip side, you were absolutely flabbergasted.

He was sending you very cute pictures of his daily life like him cooking, gaming, painting and all that

But when it came to the pictures of himself…

He was always half naked or wearing very tight fitting clothes like a tank top and a sport crewneck

He explained that he couldn’t send you pictures of him wearing his daily clothes because he didn’t want you to recognize him in the street

That was only half of the truth tho

He also wanted to impress you with the work he’s been putting in the gym during all this time, just for you

But he truly hoped that you didn’t see him as some sort of fuckboy only interested in having sex with you

Showing you his body was just another way to draw you in. Like the final nail in the coffin

In his opinion, he made enough efforts these past few months to give you a glimpse of the overflowing feelings he had for you

He is absolutely head over heels for you but not in a carnal way if that made sense

And he knows very well that you’re not into that either

He has had crushes and stuff but he used to be a complete loser so no one would give him even a crumb of attention

Of course he very occasionally had some peaks of libido and he always took care of his needs by himself

But he quickly realized that he has honestly never felt sexual attention to anyone

When he compared his experience to the way other boys around him where going crazy about sex in his teenage years…

It was alienating to say the least.

He clearly remembers an instance when he tried talking about it to one of his friends at the time

And they bluntly answered :

“You don’t feel attracted to girls ? Are you gay or something ?”

Yes, he later discovered that he was indeed bi, but that was besides the point

The only thing he wanted more than anything was to develop the deepest and closest platonic & romantic relationship he could with anyone

And have them by his side as a friend and a lover, forever

He could not bring himself to perform as a person he was not just to uphold the expectations about what it meant to be a man

It felt like deep betrayal toward himself and the perfect recipe to be miserable forever in order to have company and be accepted by society

He always thought he was weird and doomed to be alone

Until you came into his life and outwardly expressed your need to have someone exactly like him into your life

You were literally the bright and warm light guiding him out of the dark and cold tunnel of loneliness

A dream of his that was once too good to be true

Was now a reality within reach

He could finally let hope fill his heart to the brim, like he always wanted to.

— the bird keeps gliding, with hope being the sole compass of his unpredictable voyage

The thing is, his plan was working on you

You really enjoyed the glimpses into his life and the occasional thirst traps

It kind of felt like texting a very sweet OF model

So you didn’t know why you still felt somewhat… empty

Like, he did answer your request to see more of him.

Of course it’s reassuring and rewarding to know that your secret admirer (and obsessive stalker) is literally eye candy

But you started to get scared about his true intentions

You knew he loved you for you

At least that’s what the countless love letters, acts of services and gifts he was constantly showering you with lead you to believe

And he has never been sexually suggestive in any way

But you still held back in your feelings in some way

You’ve always craved a special type of romantic connection to someone that was rooted in nothing but pure feelings of love and trust, not lust

And he was clearly giving that to you, at the moment

But.. he’s a drop dead gorgeous college boy in his early twenties

He statistically could not possibly be on the same page as you.

What will happen when he’ll start wanting more from you and you’re not gonna be able to give it to him ?

What will happen when on your first night together he’ll try to make a move on you and you’ll have to reject him ?

What will happen when you’ll be forced to open up about your lack of sexual attraction ?

Will he abandon you on the spot, like all these other guys ?

Or is he too far gone in his obsession with you, that he won’t be able to accept your rejection and his knee jerk reaction will be to be outright violent with you ?

Or worse : what if he’ll pretend to understand that “you need time” to get comfortable with him

Only to try to coerce his way into making you do something you simply don’t want to do ?

You want to enjoy this with him as much as possible, you really do

But these thoughts have always plagued your mind

And you had to share them with him to make sure that he stops getting attached to you before it’s too late.

You just couldn’t let hope fill your heart to the brim, even if you wanted to.