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A Broken Flower Still Smells Just as Sweet   chapter. two

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy chapter two, I've done my best, and I hope to get better. If there is anything you would like to see in the story, feel free to tell me, as I would love some feedback. <3

Summary: Chapter two brings us to a more adjusted Y/n, getting through the worst week of sobriety is the hardest part right. Luckily with every day of sobriety, she has under her belt a reluctant Jungkook lowers his guard down a little more. 

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"Y/n... Would you like us to help you?" Namjoon's question hung in the air before you finally had the guts to speak.

"No one has ever asked me that before. No one has ever offered to help me.." Your voice trails off as the two stare at you, Namjoon, with a caring yet rather serious look and Jungkook as if your entire existence was a stain on the world.

"Given the choice, I suppose... That yes, yes, I would love some help. I want to wake up and not be ruled by a desire I feel as if I can't control. But I've already been so much trouble, and honestly, it will be hard, and it doesn't look like Jungkook wants me here." Lowering your head, you wait for someone, anyone to relieve the awkward silence that has drifted over all of you. Peaking up, you saw Joon elbow Jungkook in the side before granting your wish and speaking.

"Listen, Y/n, if you are willing to do the work, we are going to help you. No one should live like that, and Jungkook will come around, isn't that right Kook?" Namjoon tilted his head to Jungkook and raised his eyebrows expectedly. 

Jungkook opened his mouth and began to speak in a dull tone. "Well, it looks like I don't have much of a choice here. If she is going to get clean and work hard at it, then I guess I can be okay with it." Moving his hand up to the back of his head and scratching softly at his silky hair, he looked you over from top to bottom but this time with a little less disdain in his eyes.  You pass your gaze between the beautiful men standing before you offering you a literal lifeline, for you knew if you kept this way of life up much longer, you would soon perish.

"Yes. If you're serious about this, then I will work hard and do everything I can to quit." Your voice rang through the air, and you felt your heart skip a beat at your own words before thoughts of self-doubt filled your mind. Am I strong enough to do this?  Do I really want to stop?  What if I drag them down with me and make their lives worse just because they are good people and want to help.. As these thoughts envelop you, you suddenly feel Namjoon move to your side and wrap his arm around your shoulders. He smiles that same sweet smile at you while leading you to the bathroom door.

"First things first you need to get cleaned up, why don't you take a shower and I can go pick you some clothes to change into, How does that sound?" You smile up at Namjoon as his words make you feel a little better. Heading into the bathroom and closing the door, you try and make sense of this otherwise senseless day. As you glance around the bathroom, you start to take your disheveled clothes off, turning the water on as hot as it will go before slowly stepping in. The hot water feels excellent, but an itching feeling quickly starts to nag at you. Closing your eyes, you push the want for coke and molly down as far as you can; sadly enough as much as your mind wants to fight it, your body has other plans. Your hands start to shake hard, your vision gets slightly blurry, and you feel as though you're about to throw up right then and there. It's only been a few hours, but your body is so used to the substances coursing through your veins that it threatens to fall apart without them. 

"Hey, you okay in there?" Jungkook questions before placing his hand on the doorknob and slowly cracking the door to hear your reply better. You grip at your chest and beg your heart to calm down but before you can answer; you feel your legs start to wobble, and before you know it, you're on the floor of the shower wishing you could die already. This isn't the first time you've tried to stop, and you knew full well the horrors of withdrawal, and this was just the beginning.

Hearing you fall, Jungkook automatically swung the door open and rushed to your side. He furrowed his brows seeing your sad state and quickly helped you up, gripping a towel before throwing it around your boney body he helped you back into the bedroom towards the bed. He quickly realized how hard your small body was shaking, fear enveloped his face rapidly, sparing no time he maneuvered you onto the bed. Frantically he searched for one of his oversized shirts for you. Once he found it, he lifted your arms, making sure not to move the towel which covered your wet body. He gently covered you with his white shirt before pulling the towel from under it.

Shivering, head pounding, heart racing, you almost knew you weren't strong enough to overcome this until you felt Jungkook’s warm handgrip your bear leg.  Looking into his eyes, you saw fear and concern, something you never thought you'd seen since he had been so obviously put out by your presence. Right as you were about to tell him you were okay, he piped up.

"Y/n, you shouldn't overdo it. If you need help or something, you have to tell me. I can't have you passing out on me. I know this is hard on you, and I know you are probably still in shock, but I told you id help you... You have to let me Y/n." He squeezed your leg gently as he looked into your eyes. You couldn't quite read his expression, but you knew he meant what he said. Smiling up at him, you decided to try and sleep a little in hopes that when you awoke, you'd miraculously be better, freed from the gilded cage that was your addiction.

Jungkook stayed there for a while, just watching you sleep before retreating to the common area of his hotel room to wait for Namjoon to return. When Namjoon sauntered through the door, he spotted Jungkook lying on the tan sofa, watching Intervention on TV right above the stone fireplace. His eyes so glued to the changing pictures he didn't even notice that Joon had walked in.

"Hey Kook, how is Y/n?" Namjoon’s question made Jungkook jump as he reached for the small black remote, quickly shutting the TV off.  Embarrassed, he looked up to his friend, glaring at him ever so slightly. 

"She is okay, I guess... She fell in the shower, so I helped her back to bed she is asleep now though and seems to be doing fine." His cheeks were growing a red hue as he finished his thought. Namjoon’s face light up as he chuckled at the embarrassed Kookie. Casually walking over and placing the bag of clothes onto the coffee table in front of the sofa, he plopped down beside Jungkook. "Well, I'm sorry I wasn't here to help, but I had a hell of a time finding something that might fit her. Since she is so small, I opted for the kids' section in hopes that it wouldn't swallow her." Namjoon softly said, looking back at Kook, who just nodded in return, a firm frown plastered his face.

"Namjoon, why are we doing this? You know how I feel about people like her..." he trailed off, seeming to be in deep thought. Namjoon just laid his hand on Jungkook's arm as he thought very carefully on how to approach this situation.

"Because if we don't, no one will... And that beautiful broken little flower in there will die. I know that since your cousin was killed in a car crash by someone under the influence of drugs, that you've held a grudge against all addicts. But the truth is Kook, and they are people just like us who have just made some bad choices. They hurt and feel just like you and I. Don't you think she deserves a chance to turn her life around?" Namjoon's words rang through Jungkook's ears as he slumped down even further on the sofa. Kookie knew that Namjoon was right, he knew that if Y/n kept this up, her life would be snuffed out like a candle in the wind. He decided then and there he would give Y/n a chance... He would see past What you were to try and get to Who you are.

The next few days were hell on earth for you. Cold sweats, fevers and several failed attempts at running away only left you feeling like more of a failure than ever. But you knew you had to see this through you had to beat this while you had help because if they gave up on you for not trying, you'd never escape the cruel fate that awaited you. That's why today, you put on a brave face and marched your happy ass into the common room — spotting Namjoon and Jungkook lying on the sofa chattering away.  Smiling to yourself, you pranced over to the sofa and plopped your tiny body between them. 

"Hello, boys! It looks like I'm strong enough to walk around now. And honestly, I'm feeling a little hungry..." Giving them both a big smile you watched as both their faces lit up. They had tried so many times to try and get you to eat, but to no avail, now finally, on day seven, you were actually ready. Namjoon sprang to his feet, wasting no time grabbing the phone on the counter and dialing room service. You heard him order what you assumed to be the whole freaking menu.  Relaxing onto the sofa, you felt Kook's eyes burrowing into you.  Cocking your head to the side, you smiled sweetly at him. His eyes grew wide as this was one of the first real smiles you had ever given him, and he couldn't help from thinking how absolutely beautiful it looked on your pail face. Jungkook smiled back before placing his hand atop yours.

"I'm glad you're feeling better today Y/n, I was afraid you'd be stuck in that bed forever." Jungkook joked Finally giving you a bunny smile that had ran through your dreams for years. You blushed and giggled before asking him where the rest of his member had been and why it was just him and Namjoon staying here. You both laughed together as he explained that they weren't always together and that they were taking a short break before they had to go on a new tour. A knocking on the door stopped your random babbling and laughing. After taking the food and giving a sizable tip for dragging such a large amount of food up, Namjoon returned to the common room and placed it on the coffee table right in front of you.

"Eat up Y/n" He laughed as he walked toward the kitchen to fetch you a fork. Your eyes grew wide as you look at the mound of food in front of you. He expects me to eat all this?? there's no way!  Jungkook's laugh brought you back from your thought as he reached down and handed you a plate of bacon and eggs. 

"We don't expect you to eat it all, but try and make a sizable dent," Jungkook said, pushing some of your loose hair behind your ear ever so gently. Your face burned at his seemingly innocent gesture. Yet again, Jungkook found himself loving the way you looked smiling and blushing down at the plate resting on your legs. Namjoon, watching from the kitchen, he smiled to himself secretly before trotting over and handing you the fork before giving another to Jungkook.

"I'm going to go out for a bit, Jungkook, eat with Y/n, and keep her company for a few hours, would you?" Namjoon said coyly grabbing his keys and walking out the door before Jungkook could even think to object. You and Jungkook laughed and shared your first meal together before turning on the TV.  While flipping through the channels, you both finally decided on a horror movie, Dawn of the Dead. Pulling the fleece blanket from the back of the sofa onto your exposed legs that the shorts Namjoon purchased for you didn't cover, you leaned back to enjoy the movie. Right when the film hit its peeks, and a zombie almost ate a dog, you jumped and clung to Jungkook. Being shocked by your action and not as much at the movie, he tensed his entire body before looking down at your half-covered face, scared eyes and arms clinging to him, he slowly relaxed and smiled softly. You both remained like this for the rest of the movie. You were hating every jump scare moment, as Jungkook relishing in the way it felt to have you hold onto him. When the film finally ended, and you quickly realized how tightly you had been holding onto Jungkook, your eyes widened as you looked up at the sweetly smiling man in front of you. 

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to cling onto you like that." You blurted while moving yourself quickly. Jungkook just smiled at you before saying, "don't worry about it... It was kind of nice."   It was kind of nice!! It was kind of nice!! Did The Jeon Jungkook just tell me it was kind of nice when I held onto him?!??!? As your thoughts scrambled your brain, Jungkook began to chuckle, at that moment you knew your shock was written all over your face. Clearing your throat, you decided to act like he was any other regular guy you had had a crush on in the past and not the international superstar that he was. "Well, if you didn't mind it, then neither did I." You said, giving him a cheeky smile in return. Feeling your heart rate skyrocket, you leaned yourself back down beside him and held onto him once again, while asking what you guys should watch next. 

Jungkook slid his arm around your back as he pulled you closer. "Whatever you want to watch is fine by me." he chirped. Nuzzling into his side, you took a deep breath smelling the scent of his cologne before telling him whatever he chose as long as it wasn't scary was fine by you. While he looked for another movie, you couldn't stop the overflow of dirty thought that crowded your mind.

 Ever so gently, you looked up at his beautiful face seeing freckles and other things about him you had never really noticed before.  Butterflies began in your stomach as you keep your eyes glued to him as if, you were to looked away, he would disappear. Noticing your intense gaze, Jungkook looked back at you, keeping his eyes locked with yours until he slowly began to lean down... A lot of thought rolled through your mind like how things had come a long way in just seven days, how he used to look at you as if you disguised him. But now he smiles at you makes you laugh and your heart flutter, he takes care of you and wants to see you do better. Closing your eyes, you wait as he closes the gap between you both. Slowly but surely, his lips grace yours while your heart set ablaze. 

The kiss is gently yet hungry as you both begin to move your hands along each other's bodies. Searching, pinning, wanting to know what every inch feels like, just as things started to get more intense, Jungkook pulled away — leaving you spinning from the incredible kiss but confused as to why it was so short-lived. Lowering his head, he looked ashamed; he slowly began to explain. "Listen, Y/n; I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. You're still recovering, and you need to focus on that, and Only that..."  You could feel your heart drop to your feet as you sat there, just looking at his sad face. You know he means well, but it doesn't change the fact that it still hurt a little. Only then your phone went off, leaning over and away from Jungkook; you picked the black phone up off the table, seeing it was Nichole. Damn, this bitch waits Seven whole days to call me back?!? Some best friend she is. You huff to yourself before answering it and chatting with her for a few minutes. 

Nichole told you that she had been on a bender with her boyfriend Chad and hadn't been back to the apartment until today. You excused her reckless behavior as you always did and explained you'd be home within the next few days. Your heart sank, thinking about returning, but you knew you couldn't stay here with Joon and Kook forever. Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook became slightly uncomfortable thinking about you going back and leaving his side. He had also become happy having you here and getting to know you day by day, he missed sleeping in an actual bed but no enough to want you to leave. All these feelings and thoughts unnerved him; he began squirming around on the sofa before getting up and grabbing his keys. Jungkook needed a drink and to sit alone and figure out just what he wanted and what would be best for you. Motioning to you that he would be leaving and going on a walk, he headed out the door upon seeing you nod your head in understanding of his little miming trick. 

Namjoon got back before Jungkook; he seemed somewhat disappointed after walking in and seeing you alone on the sofa. You guys chatted for a while, but it was getting late, and there was still no sign of Jungkook, reluctantly you dragged yourself to the bedroom after saying goodbye to Namjoon for the night. Looking over the clothes you had left, you spotted a simple spaghetti strap black crop top and some pink boy short underwear. Throwing them on, you rolled into bed and pulled the covers over your head, worrying that Kookie wouldn't come back at all because of the kiss from earlier. Right when you were about to go into a tailspin of emotions, you heard the banging on the front door.

Rushing out of bed, you sprinted to the door and threw it open; a very drunk Jungkook stumbled in almost running right into you.  Relief quickly filled your body that he came back drunk or not; Then, you paused, realizing that Jungkook was, in fact, drunk yet another thing you never expected to see. Collecting your thoughts you sweetly led Kookie to the bedroom and helped him to bed, removing his shoes and his pants before reaching for his shirt, you found yourself a little too excited to be removing his shirt, and you quickly pushed that feeling aside and concentrated on the job at hand. As you tossed the cloths to the side, you started to move away to go and fetch him some to sleep in, but he suddenly grabbed your arm and pulled you onto the bed with him. He nuzzled his face into your hair and let out a deep sigh. 

"Y/n, do you like being here?" he questioned his breath warm on your head. 

"Yes, I do," you answered back slowly before moving to look up at him. Smiling at your answer, he pulled you into his chest, his glazed-over eyes looking right into yours. He gently kissed your nose, then he quickly opened his mouth then closed it again as if he were searching for just the right words before blurting out.

"Would you sleep with me tonight, Y/n?" 

Sleep with you??? What kind of sleep?? Wait, Wait, Wait... What does he mean by that... And why in this intimate moment am I suddenly so aware of just how good that liquor on his breath smells... Questions reeled in your head, but one thing was for sure, you were going to sleep with Jungkook no matter which way he meant it.

To be continued...

A Broken Flower Still Smells Just as Sweet    Chapter. Three

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

A/N: Warning drug use, Smut, and drama. Enjoy, and feel free to message me with any questions or suggestions. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you guys like it. 

Summary: Chapter three, a slip up leaves Y/n scared and clinging to a life with only herself to blame. Will Jungkook save her, or will he give up on the fragile Y/n? 

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Slowly you smiled up at Jungkook before replying, "Of course I'll sleep here with you."   Jungkook relaxed with your answer holding you close to his body. With a sigh of relief, he closed his tired eyes. His breath quickly reaching your small nose, making you salivate at the strong smell of liquor. Maybe if I kiss him, I can taste whatever he was drinking. Without any further thoughts, you quickly placed your lips against his. A shocked Jungkook finally started to kiss you back, parting his lips he began to ask for entrance into your welcome mouth. A lot of thoughts went through your mind as your tongue intertwined with each other. 

However, the thought that kept persisting was how good his mouth tasted and how nice it would be to have just one drink. As much as Jungkook was enjoying the kiss, he couldn't escape the tiredness quickly, grabbing ahold of his body and mind. Breaking your make out session, he clung to you tightly, tracing your arm that was now wrapped around his bare torso with his long fingers. Once you felt his breath become steady, and you were sure he was asleep, you crept out of his arms feeling a little guilty. Not enough to stop what you had your mindset on, however. 

As quietly as you possibly could, you snuck out of the bedroom into the kitchen. Frantically searching the mini bar, you found not one single drop to drink. Lowering your head in defeat, you made a rash decision. The hotel bar had to be still open... Throwing one of Jungkook's jackets around your frail body, you step out of the hotel room, you close the door sprinting toward the bar.

Upon reaching the bar, you ordered a double shot of Crown Royal. The smiling male bartender with brown curly locks slid the drink over to you before telling you it was on the house. A moment of hesitation left as quickly as it came while you lifted the glass to your mouth, letting the burning liquor hit your throat you felt your body relax. Before you knew it, you had ordered four more, drinking them down as soon as they were placed in front of you. In no time at all, you were drunk, the sweet feeling you missed so very much. But the nice feeling didn't last long...You began to think of the beautiful man sleeping upstairs, unaware of your recent wrongdoings. Emotions flooded you, realizing you couldn't go back tonight, or maybe even ever you checked your phone resting on the bar. 

Flipping through your contacts in your drunken state, you saw Alex's number, your good friend and drug dealer. He'd for sure come and get me you thought before hitting the call button. Within 30 minutes of your call, Alex pulled up in front of the hotel. Nodding at the doorman, you slid into the passenger seat of the 2002 Toyota corolla. Not many words were shared between you two as you sped off into the night. Not noticing at first in your drunken stupor that he had pulled the car over in a dark ally, averting your gaze to Alex as you finally realized you see him pulling a small baggie out of his dirty gray jacket before smiling at you. Holding the bag, he proceeded to open it while grabbing a spare key from the cup holder. Your eyes watched him intensely as he put a large amount of the pure white substance onto the key before placing it to his nose and inhaling deeply. 

Feeling your mouth water, you asked if you could have a bump out of pure habit. Alex handed you the bag and key telling you to take the rest if you wanted it. Before you could even think about being nervous and how doing this would ruin all you worked for, the key was up to your nose, and you were inhaling a hefty dose of cocaine. 

Mind racing from the stimulant, you were more alive than you had been all week. Alex smiled a crooked smile showing his stained yellow teeth to you and asked, "You wanna come to the club with me, Y/n? I was heading there when you called." Without hesitation, you said yes, and you guys were on your way.

Lights strobing, the air thick with lust, liquor, and smoke, happily, you made your way to the dance floor feeling at home in the grungy club. You swung your hips, moving your arms to the music while a few guys and girls danced around you. Taking a few more bumps and offering one to a cute blonde girl who wandered over to you, everything was as it should be until your heart started to pound at an incredible pace. Reaching for your chest, you stumbled to the bathroom, leaning down over a toilet you knew what was happening and you were powerless to stop it. Overdose!! overdose! overdose! overdose! the word played over and over in your head as you clung to the toilet seat begging your body to throw up the remaining alcohol. 

Meanwhile, a very tired and confused Jungkook finally realized you had disappeared. Calling Namjoon he made his way through the hotel, he finally asked the doorman if he had seen you. Once the doorman had explained that you had left little over an hour ago, Jungkook sprang into action hailing a cab; he told the taxi the name of the club he had first run into at praying you'd be there. Fear, confusion, and dread filled his entire being as they shot off in your direction. 

Finally, reaching the club, Jungkook shot out of the cab, rushing to find you. He questioned all the intoxicated people before finding the small blonde girl who told him after you gave her a bump, you had headed to the restroom. Thanking her quickly, he ran into the ladies' room and began to bang on each stall. 

"Y/n! Y/n?!?! Where are you??" He called, almost begging you to answer. Upon hearing his calls, you lift your head ever so slightly, calling back to Jungkook. Hearing your weak call, he rushed over to the stall you were laying in, opening the door he saw your frail body hunkered over the toilet which caused his heart to sink. The first thing that popped into his head was not to be angry at you as you suspected he would be. His heart was filled to the brim with sorrow, pain, and anguish as he looked at your sorry state. 

"I'm so sorry, Jungkook..." Your soft voice echoed throughout the stall, shaking his head; he just grabbed you into his arms. 

"Don't you say sorry to me. This kind of thing was expected Y/n. Almost every addict relapses at least once... I'm just so glad your alive, Y/n, I was so scared... I thought I might not find you... That you'd be gone forever." Jungkook cried out fear and pain evident in his shaky voice. 

You clung onto Jungkook as if your very life depended on it. Feeling shame and anger at yourself but most of all relief to be coddled in his firm, caring arms once more. Staying like that for what felt like a lifetime, you both rose to your feet, with Jungkook practically holding you up afraid to let go of you. Looking right into his honey-laced eyes, you muttered a few words that made Jungkook's eyes almost light up. "Please, Kookie, will you take me home." 

Nothing more needed to be said as he helped you out of the dark, damp club. When you finally reached the hotel, Jungkook put you to bed, called Namjoon, to let him know you were home safe and then crawled into bed, holding you tight all night long. 

The next morning came quick, and you found the sun rays forcefully pounding your face. You spotted a snoozing Jungkook clinging to your back; you couldn't help but smile to yourself at how sweet and understanding he had been. Seeing how much he truly cared ignited something in you a newfound want and need to be clean, not just for yourself but for Jungkook as well. Most of last night was a blur, but the way he held you was as bright as the north star on a clear night. 

Sliding out of Jungkook's arms, you went to the bathroom, turning the water on you disrobed and hopped into the shower.  Within a few minutes, a small knock was heard, following that a half-asleep Jungkook stumbles in heading toward the toilet. Feeling a little self-conscious, you hide behind your hands watching his lean figure walk right past the see through shower door, not even glancing at you. After he finished his business, he washed his hands while looking into the foggy mirror; he noticed your small frame in the shower behind him. Automatically he tensed and began to apologize. Laughing to yourself, you felt yourself relax now, not really minding if he saw or not. 

"Kookie, you don't need to say sorry...can you hand me a towel please?" Smiling so warmly at him, you could feel your cheeks start to burn as he grabbed the fluffy white towel from the counter. Before handing it to you, he couldn't help but look you over his eyes growing large as he did. Grabbing the towel from his hands, you wrapped it around your body, stepping out of the shower you and Jungkook were mere inches from one another. Both refusing to look away from the other. 

Without a second thought, you swung your arms around his shoulders, pressing your still wet body into his. Jungkook didn't hesitate to return the action, grabbing you firmly in his arms. Bravely looking into his eyes, you reached up, placing your hand on his warm cheek, pulling him down to you slightly before laying an intense kiss on his soft lips. His hands traveled your figure, leaving no area untouched. 

In the heat of the moment, you both made your way to the bed, Jungkook laying you down softly before sliding the damp towel off of you. A moment of shyness took over you as you watched him study your bare body, quickly covering your face with your hands and letting out a soft giggle. 

"Move your hands, Y/n I want to see your beautiful face as well." His words were life silk that covered your entire being.  Removing your hands, you saw a look of pure love in his sweet eyes. Removing his shirt and pants, he climbed onto you, pressing himself into you lightly, trailing soft kisses across your cheeks down your neck.  Feeling your heart threaten to beat right out of your chest, you ran your hands along his torso, committing every inch to memory. 

Making his way down to your hot womanhood, he placed the same feather-like kisses that made you almost jump out of your skin. Loving the way you were so sensitive to his touch, he couldn't stop from spreading your legs and delving slowly but deeply into you with his long finger as his tongue flicked gently on your clit. Sending pleasure throughout your whole body at his gentle yet powerful touch.  Soft moans escaped your mouth making Jungkook go faster, feeling yourself grow close and closer to your climax you held it in with every fiber of your being, begging yourself to hold out until you could feel every inch of his hard cock inside you.

Realizing you weren't going to let yourself release, Jungkook ceased his attack on your soaking pussy, removing his fingers as slowly as he could. He trailed kisses back up to your face pausing momentarily at your breasts, licking and kissing them. Once again, at your pink face, his lips pressed onto yours, begging for entrance into your mouth with his tongue that danced on your lower lip. Allowing him access, your tongue swirled around and around with his. Running your hand down his stomach between your bodies, you pulled at his boxers. Softly letting out a peaceful sigh into your mouth Jungkook broke the kiss to pull his boxers off, throwing them to the side. Placing his hard dick at your slippery entrance, he looked at you for your approval before sliding his tip into you. 

A small gasp escaped your lips as you felt him fill you, you became more needy the harder and faster he began to enter and exit you. Jungkook noticed how your body became putty in his hands' pleasure coursing through you both. He was already so close, but he wanted you to cum; first, he would not relent until he had you screaming his name in pure ecstasy. Your breathing became sharp as your chest heaved; every trust Jungkook did sent unrelenting pleasure through you until you couldn't contain it any longer. 

Throwing your head back, you screamed, "Jungkook, I'm gonna cum!" He smiled from ear to ear, "Let it go, baby, I'm here to guide you through it, cum all over my dick baby please" His words rang through your ears as you finally felt your climax hit you like a bag of bricks. Jungkook let you ride out your orgasm before pulling out and releasing on your lower stomach, panting and sweaty he laid his tired body next to yours then pulled you onto his chest. 

As you both laid there panting and giving each other love pecks, you heard a knock on the hotel door.  Assuming it was just Namjoon, You both threw some clothes and went to the door, ready to greet your friend. But upon opening the door, neither of you expected what was actually waiting on the other side. 

To be Continued.... 

[10:05] ~ Late ~

you were holding your phone up to your face, the ringing sound echoing in your empty hallway. you've been trying to call your boyfriend Chan for an hour now, but he hasn't been responding to any of the calls.

you gave up and slid down the wall, soon hitting the floor and hugging your knees. you hated times like these. times where you needed Chan the most, but he just didn't show up. times where your own mind started to nag at you, where voices started to fill your head due to all the stuff going on in your life. you thought dating Chan will help since he understands these problems, but with him always being late... nothing could help.

soon after you started to quietly cry to yourself you heard the door open and quick steps approach you. Chan's strong arms wrapped around you as he knelt next to your shivering figure and he leaned his forehead against your head.

"shhhhh baby... i'm here now... i'm so sorry i didn't pick up your calls, but i knew what was wrong so i had to rush home..." he softly whispered into your ear, his warm breath wandering across your skin.

his hands rubbed your arms comfortingly and soon you felt yourself melt into his touches, your tears drying and your mind slowly calming down, blocking all the bad away.

he picked you up and carried you to your shared bedroom, gently placing you on your bed before crawling under the sheets with you. his arms snaked around your waist and sweet nothings kept leaving his lips, making their way into your mind. his fingers drew little figures on the skin of your waist and his lips pecked the skin beneath your ear.

"i'm sorry for being late love" he mumbled against your skin, clearly upset by his own actions. "i promise to better myself... i promise to fight against those voices together with you" was the last thing you heard before exhaustion hit you and you drifted off into a deep sleep.

no matter how late Chan was, you couldn't stop yourself from loving the boy and you knew you never would stop this love.

Depend on Me pt. 1

Kiki A Wontaek Love Story (Fluff/Angst)

“Leo wake up” Ravi said shaking him lightly, Leo groaned then pulled the covers over his head and sinking deeper under the covers. Ravi sighed then shook him lightly, “Leo please wake up” He said. Leo groaned turning over to face him, Ravi started poking him on the cheek. “Leo” He said Leo said nothing but slept soundly, Ravi then smirked as an idea popped into his head Maybe he will wake up for this. He leaned down in his ear. “Don’t make me get the ice bucket” He whispered in his ear. Leo just rolled over and Ravi smirked walked into the kitchen grabbed a bucket of water put ice in it then tiptoed back upstairs where Leo was sleeping. Ravi started laughing about to pour the water on Leo, “Don’t you even dare Kim Wonshik” Leo said with his eyes closed and sitting up straight. “How did you know” Ravi asked “Ravi I’m not an idoit” Leo said. 

“Oh” Ravi said putting the bucket down, he pouted cutely “Come on Leo N Hyung says Manager Hyung is letting us go out today” Ravi said, Leo sighed then got up and walked to the bathroom. Ravi sat on the bed waiting for Leo to get ready, when Leo finished there was a knock on the door. Ravi opened the door and it was the guys. “Hey” N said “You two ready to go” He asked “Yep” Ravi said with a smile. He nodded walking to the car sitting next his love Leo, Leo looked at the window Ravi poked his cheek Leo turned to him, he giggled then kissed him softly. “"It's Jonghyun’s birthday tonight so how about we all go down the club for his birthday” N asked “YAY” everyone cheered Ravi looked at Leo “Jagi” He called Leo looked at him. “Mm” Leo answered “Wanna go” Ravi asked “Sure” Leo answered, Ravi smiled pecked Leo’s cheek. Leo turned him kissed him softly then poked his nose. “Saranghae Jagi” Ravi said “Love you too” Leo said “You love me right” Leo asked “Of course” Ravi answered. “Promise” Leo said “I promise” Ravi said. 

Later at the club 

Ravi sat with Taemin and Kai at a table having fun, “So be honest you like him” Kai asked “Who Leo yeah of course” Ravi answered. “I mean you should tired being around him and his cold self” Taemin said, “"No Leo is cool to have around” Ravi said “Come on Ravi don't be so shallow” Kai said “It is obvious he drives you crazy” Taemin said “"Well not exactly......”"Come on tell us do you really love him” Taemin said “"Yes I do” Ravi said “"No you dont” He said 

“Yes”

“No” 

“Yes” 

“No” 

“I NEVER LOVED LEO AND I NEVER WILL” Ravi said everyone looked at him in the club then Ravi came face to face with Leo. He said nothing but his expression was cold and dark, before he could say anything Leo turned around towards the exit then bolted out the door. Ravi followed him, “"Leo wait I-”Save it you already said enough” Leo said. “You lied to me and you promised you would love me” He said “"You traitor” Leo said and he walked away leaving Ravi alone. Those words still lingered in Ravi’s mind You traitor 

More Hearts Than Mine | Namjoon x Blk Fem reader.

Summary: Your heart wasn't the only one he broke.

A/N: The song lyrics will be written into the ff. Wrote this on a whim because I really love this song and couldn't help but think of Namjoon for this. Sorry for any mistakes.

BEFORE: “I can't wait to show you where I grew up.” You tell Namjoon one night. This will be his first time meeting your family, and seeing where you grew up that made you into the woman you are today. You were going to show him your favorite places and take him to all the best spots. You'll walk Namjoon around the foothills of your town. After hearing you talking about your hometown for six months now; It's like Namjoon has been there before. Walked the asphalt streets, tasted the local foods, and saw the landmarks. He wanted a real feel of it, though. He'll fall in love with your hometown and your family like he has with you.

It's the morning of your trip to your hometown. You and Namjoon are packing.

“We'll probably have to sleep in separate bedrooms.” You tell him as you move around him to get to your suitcase. He doesn't mind the separate bedrooms. You have told him the kind of people your parents are and he respects that. He'd asked you question about your mama, then your dad, and then your little sister.

“You think they'll like me?” Namjoon asks.

“Yes. I told them so much about you and they can't wait to meet the guy who has taken good care of my heart.” You smiled at Namjoon. You would spend all night on the phone with your little sister telling her how great of a guy Namjoon was until your mama told her it's time for her to get to bed.

You look over the clothes that Namjoon has in his suitcase. “Pack a shirt for church because we'll go.”

He has a nice black button-down that he packs. You sit on the bed next to Namjoon's suitcase. Bringing home someone new was nerve-wracking. You rub the palm of your hands on your blue jeans.

“Uh, Listen.” You said. “I'm not trying to scare you off, but I thought we should talk a few things out. Before we hit the road.”

Namjoon moves his suitcase over on the bed and sits next to you. His pinky finger resting on top of yours. His way of saying I won't be scared off.

You rest your head on his shoulder as you talk to him.

First, you warned him about how quickly your mama falls in love a little faster than you do. She would immediately pull Namjoon into a warm welcoming hug that'll make him feel like he was home. She'll make him a big home-cooked meal with her favorite recipes that's been passed down from generation to generation.

Then you warned him about your dad. How he would check the tires on Namjoon's car and make sure the engine sounds good. You told Namjoon your dad will pour him whiskey over ice and want to hear his views about the current events of the world. Then he'll take Namjoon fishing and pretend that he doesn't like him.

Of course, you told Namjoon that if he ever broke up with you, he wouldn't be just breaking your heart but theirs too.

Then there was your little sister you really had to warn him about. How she would ask him a million questions, say anything she can to turn him red. She'll ask if he's going to marry you while she paints his nails fuchsia pink.

Then you warned him about your high school friends. They'll buy him drinks and fill him in on the crazy nights you can't outlive. And how they'll get him to play truth or dare to initiate him into the friend group.

AFTER: It was only two months later when you showed up back in your hometown, standing on the steps of your childhood home without Namjoon this time. When your mama opened the front door, the first thing you did was hug her and breakdown in her arms. She knew without you even telling her. Your mama felt every heartache you've ever been through. So she understands when mangle sobs push their way up your throat into the warm air of the house. Namjoon had been the one. So you thought. There were forevers and forevers in his words, yet forever meant nothing to him.

Then there was your dad who hated seeing his little girl all broken up over some guy. He'll pour you whiskey over ice and He'll tell a lie and say Namjoon ever really liked you. But your dad could see how that boy looked at you like you were the stars shining in his world. Of course, your dad couldn't hate him, and neither could your mama.

Then there was your little sister who curled into your side, wiping your tears. While saying something like: “He really did love you, Y/n. But you know, love can scare people away sometimes, especially when they never experience true love, so they run because it feels like a lie, like all the other love they had before. Maybe that's Namjoon's reason.”

He broke their hearts more than yours.

Kpop x Blk reader request are open.

Hello, I'm taking request for Kpop groups x Blk reader. Boy or Girl groups. Blk Fem Reader or Blk Male reader. I'll write whoever you want just let me know which group they are from so I have the right person and I can do my little research on them.

I don't write requested smut so I deeply apologize.

If you want you can check out my MASTER LIST

Happiest Year(s)

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 1,759

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Character Death, Illness, Crying

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: OMG!!! This writing absolutely wrecked me... I’m so sorry Jisoo 😭 I promise that I have some fluff in the works to make up for this one. Regardless, I hope you enjoy! 

PS ~~ I listened to the song “Happiest Year” by Jaymes Young when I wrote this (hence the title). I highly recommend that you check it out -- maybe even play it in the background while you read this.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

The pain was something you had grown accustomed to, especially within the past few months. It was nothing you couldn’t handle, though it sure gave you a run for your money sometimes.

One fateful night, everything changed: Hot, excruciating jolts shot through you, burning and raging like a fire within. Jisoo found you in the bathroom, curled up in the fetal position, and immediately called for help. To her, this was something totally unexpected -- you had always worked hard to hide what you were going through from her, not wanting to give her any added stress. She had enough to worry about; you didn’t want to be another thing on that list. Perhaps that had been the wrong thing to do, judging by the panicked look on her face as she cradled you in her arms. Surely her stress had increased tenfold now.

~~~~~~~

The soft click of the door to your hospital room grabs your attention, and you open your eyes. 

“Y/N, why did the doctor just tell me that you’ve known about your condition?” Her voice is quiet, unbelieving; she sounds tired. For the first time in a long time, her eyes are unable to meet yours. She swallows thickly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and fear. Tears threaten to spill from her beautiful eyes, and you curse the universe for not giving you enough strength to reach up and wipe them away when they inevitably fall. 

“I was going to tell you… I just never found the right time. How was I supposed to tell you something like that?”

“You should’ve.” The reply is simple, but her delivery is profound: her voice is laced with pain, a hint of resentment mixed in. Who could blame her? She’s having to witness her world crumble before her eyes, and she has absolutely no way to stop it. Her jaw clenches as she finally gives in, little by little, allowing her tears to fall. You can tell she’s trying to stay strong, though.

“Would you have lived as fully if I had? No. You would’ve spent every second with me worried about that, looking at me different. Like I was fragile and would break at any moment. Maybe you wouldn’t have meant to, but I would’ve felt it. It would’ve been at the forefront of your mind; you wouldn’t have said what you meant and did what you wanted. I needed to make those memories.” 

~~~~~~~

As you faded in and out of consciousness again, the distant sounds of monitors served as a beacon for you. Fighting sleep was growing harder every time, but you held on for Jisoo. She wasn’t ready to let go yet, and neither were you; although, the two of you never really would be.

“What am I supposed to do without you, Y/N?” Her hands are cradled around your left one, lips pressing against it as the words roll off her tongue. She’s looking down, attempting to wrap her head around what’s about to happen. Hot tears drip onto your skin, and you pray to have enough strength to hold her one last time. You want to leave this world embracing her, feeling her warmth for as long as you possibly can. You have to. 

“J-Jisoo.” Within an instant, her head snaps up, her eyes searching your face, waiting for your command. 

“Hold me.”

As she moves to lay next to you on the bed, she makes sure not to hurt you. One of her arms supports your head and wraps around your shoulders, while her other comes to circle around your waist. Her soft skin rubs against your own, and a hum of happiness leaves your lips.

In an instant, it hits her: she won’t be able to hear that sound again. She won’t be able to hear your laugh… God, your laugh. It’s always been one of her favorite sounds in the entire universe; after tonight, she’ll have to settle for listening to it from videos on her phone. Those captured memories, frozen in time for her to replay as often as she wanted, could never compare to the real thing. 

Soon, you’d be gone from this world, leaving her behind as a shell of what she once was. How could you keep this from her? Everything the two of you had spent so much time creating -- the stable life you were going to keep on living well into your 80s -- is crashing down around her. That dream of passing away together in bed, a long and happy life replaying as you fade away, is rapidly disappearing into nothingness, and she doesn’t know how to cope.

She tries to make sense of the situation -- to rationalize like she always does -- but it’s not possible this time. Why were you burdened with this terrible disease? Why you? You’re one of the greatest people Jisoo has ever known, always doing right by everyone you come across. So what kind of higher power would damn you in such a way? 

“Stop thinking about it. Just be here with me, please.”

As hard as it is to do as you ask, she does her best to push those thoughts away. 

“I can’t do this without you, Y/N.” Her sobs get in the way of her words as they struggle past her lips. She’s a mess: streaks of tears are running down her cheeks again, her hair stuck to her face in various places. The mascara she applied earlier that day is smudged underneath her eyes, mingling with the salty liquid spilling from them without restraint. 

“Yes you can, baby. It’s gonna be alright; you’ve got the girls, and you know I’m gonna be there, too. I’ll always be with you.”

She presses a kiss against your forehead, and you can feel her lower lip tremble against you. 

“I’m not afraid. You don’t have to worry about me anymore, I’m not hurting.” You try your hardest to remind her of that and soothe her, even in the state you’re in; seeing her like this hurts you more than any sickness ever could. Both of your hearts are breaking at the same time, attempting to figure out how to go on without the other. 

A rather violent cough racks through your body, and she holds you once it’s over. In that moment, it’s clear that your time to go is rapidly approaching. 

“Jisoo--” You begin, mustering up all of your strength to utter some parting words.

“Don’t. Don’t say it. You’ll have to go once you do. I’m not ready.” She shakes her head in protest, still unable to accept what’s happening. 

“I have to, jagi. Just let me get it out.” 

With a shuddered breath and fresh set of tears replacing her previous ones, she nods. You take that as your cue to continue.

“Thank you for the happiest years of my life. Knowing you -- being able to love you -- has been the biggest privilege I’ve ever had. There’s no one I would have rather spent my time with. I know it’s hard baby, but please don’t hate me for not telling you… I think you’ll understand why I didn’t, in time. Just be happy, Jisoo. For me. Remember me and the times we shared; those aren’t going anywhere. I’ll love you forever.”

Her lips are against yours in a flash, gentle passion burning wildly. The feeling takes away all of your worries, and you sigh against her. She doesn’t want to stop, but she has some words for you, too. 

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Y/N… that’s what makes this so hard. I could never hate you, though. I just wish we had more time. I’ll love you always, even through the distance that separates us. You’re my happiness.”

“Ooh baby…” The words come out through your tears, your voice unstable from all of the emotions you’re feeling. “I wish I could stay. God, am I gonna miss you.”

She kisses you again, and some of the pain is alleviated from your heart immediately. It still hurts, of course, but her kisses soothe you in a way that nothing else can -- part of you is healed now.

“I think I’m gonna miss that most of all.” She mumbles as her forehead rests against yours again. Her tears are at bay for the time being.  

“Not as much as I will.” The faintest chuckle is drawn from her; even as you lay dying, you’re still just as competitive as ever. 

You wrap your arms around her and let your face rest in the crook of her neck. You’re at peace in her arms, warm and comfortable in every way possible. Only she could do that -- no one else made you feel as safe and protected as her. The realness of the situation is hitting you again, but you try to focus your mind on the feeling of her heart beat against your chest. Yours is slowing down, the process becoming unnecessary now.

She can feel you slipping away, right between her fingers, and it’s almost too much to handle. Her entire world is fading right in front of her, and she just has to be a passenger in the process. If she could save you, she would; if there was a way for her to trade positions with you, she would do it in a heartbeat. Every other type of pain pales in comparison to seeing you, the love of her life, so weak and frail.

“I love you. Now, kiss me one last time.”

She does as you ask, whispering her own declarations of love against your lips in between kisses. 

In stark contrast with her broken state, your mind is running wild with memories from the life the two of you shared. All of your “firsts” replay in a flurry of various emotions and colors. It’s difficult to explain, but your mind is aglow with the vivid hues of a life well lived -- one with no regrets, no stones left unturned. It’s all playing in your head like some sort of slideshow, and there’s no other way you’d want to be sent off. 

“It’s beautiful, Jisoo.”

Just as she looks down at you, ready to ask what you’re talking about, the monitor flatlines. You have a content, peaceful smile on your lips, your eyes closed in comfort. 

“I’ll see you later, my love.” She whispers to you -- and those are the last words you hear before leaving this world, beginning your journey to the cosmos.

Endlessly

Pairing: Jennie x Fem!Reader

Summary: After a fateful encounter steals you away from Jennie, you come to realize it might not mark the end for your love.

Word Count: ~ 8,358

Warnings / Misc. -- Death, Depression, Angst, Healing, Fluff (Happy Ending)

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! Hope you enjoy this one :) 💜 I just recently finished watching Goblin, and it inspired me to write this 😌🤘

(Note: In a later piece of dialogue, a Jamie Anderson quote is used as inspiration. The dialogue is basically the same as the quote from her, just with a few extra words.)

》》》 Happy Reading ❤️‍🔥🌹《《《

□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

The burning, jagged path that the bullet etched into you wasn't what hurt. To be honest, at that point, you couldn't feel much anymore; the adrenaline was overpowering.

But what did hurt, what made your heart ache, deeply and irrevocably, was knowing that Jennie was there to witness it all. 

Her dark eyes were washed in a new gleam of horror as you fell to your knees, helplessly gasping for air but only managing to draw in short bursts of it. She watched as blood soaked a circle into the fibers of your shirt, deep crimson sprawling across your abdomen at an alarming rate. 

But you just looked on, smiling a bittersweet smile at her. She would be safe now, thanks to your sacrifice, and you could die peacefully knowing that. 

Your vision began to blur then, turning hazy and closing in upon itself. Dizziness racked your body, soon sending you falling onto your side. The ground was harsh, unforgiving -- you'll never forget how it felt beneath your fingertips. How cold and final it was; that you knew then you had arrived at your place of departure from this Earth. 

It was a terrifying reality to attempt to grasp all at once, but Jennie was by your side before you could get too scared. Her warm hands chased the fears from your mind as she touched your forehead, clearing your hair out of your face.

"Y-Y/N…" her voice broke, just the same as her heart. 

"I know," you soothed, bringing a hand up to wrap around her wrist. Some blood got on her in the process, and part of you regretted touching her because of it. 

Your free hand stayed in front of you, applying pressure to the wound in your stomach in order to buy some more time.

"I'm not hurting, jagi." 

It was a lie, of course, but with good reason. The hopeless look in her eyes was more painful than what you were experiencing anyway, and you'd have said anything to make her feel better.

Merely two feet away, the mugger that you fended off laid in a heap of filth and ruin. The gun that he shot you with rested on the ground, his fingers no longer tightly curled around its handle. The life had already drained from his eyes a few seconds prior as he succumbed to his injuries, thanks to your efforts.

Jennie's brows lifted in realization. "I'll call an ambulance," she declared, sitting up on her knees to retrieve her cell phone from her purse. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks, each droplet bitter and filled with budding grief. 

But you held onto her, stopping her and silently shaking your head when she glanced down at you in a rush. 

"Just be with me," you asked softly, knowing it wouldn't do any good to waste time calling. The nearest hospital was halfway across town, and you had a couple minutes or so left at best. 

How could you possibly say everything you wanted to in such a short time frame?

"Y/N, please," she sobbed, voice hoarse. "I have to try."

An overwhelming taste of iron filled your mouth, but you swallowed it down the best you could before responding. 

"We both know it won't w-work," you managed out through gritted teeth. 

She shook her head and cursed into the night air before turning to look at you. 

"Alright, baby," she relented, cupping your cheek. Her free hand was at the side of your head, her palm pressing into the rough concrete as she held herself up. She felt like collapsing, then, and dying right along with you. 

If all of her couldn't, a piece of her surely would. 

"I'm right here; I won't go anywhere else. Right here, Y/N/N." The words fell from her lips like a mantra as she pressed her forehead against yours. 

"I love you to the moon and back, Nini. I always have," you admitted, thinking back to the first time you realized you were in love. 

"And I know this looks bad," a cough momentarily interrupted you, but you persisted, "but I'll find you in the next life. We'll be together there, baby, and we'll grow old…" 

A pitiful whimper left her at that, and she sank down defeatedly. 

"It'll be great, Jennie. I promise." You brought a bloody hand up to her cheek and turned her head so you could look up into her eyes. "Live a long, happy life here, for me. I'll be waiting on the other side." 

She nodded, barely able to see you anymore from the blur of her tears. But she blinked them away, not wanting to lose a second with you. 

You coughed again, the sound deep and ominous, and were left with a sort of wheeze when it subsided. You both knew your time was dwindling. 

"Kiss m--"

She had the same thought as you, and her lips were on yours before you could even finish the request. 

Her cherry lip balm flooded your fading senses, cutting through the dullness to send you off with one last parting gift. It tasted uniquely like her, and it smelled like fresh Maraschinos.

Memories flashed through your aching mind in a mix of colors and sounds, blending with one another to create the story of your short life. A tear rolled down the side of your face, dampening a piece of your hair that laid against the ground. 

Your hands pulled her in closer as you kissed her, desperately wanting to give her something to remember you by in the interim. 

Her lips were warm and demanding as they slid against yours, offering their safe touch. Demanding you to fight a little longer. To kiss her a little harder. To somehow pull through, when she knew in her heart it was futile. 

Neither of you stopped until your kisses became a little weaker, unable to match the strength of her own. 

"Remember the good times, Jen," you pleaded a few seconds later, voice breathy. "I'll always be with you." 

More sobs wracked through her body as she hugged you close, clinging to you like never before. She whispered remedies in your ear to rival your broken groans of pain. 

Your eyes began to glaze over, and you felt warm all over. It was a strange sensation, but you smiled bittersweetly. You had always been afraid of being cold when you left. 

"I don't have any regrets, jagi," you said lowly, barely any energy left. Your responses were slowing down. 

"You gave me enough happiness to last a lifetime. Thank you." 

Her throat felt like it was closing, and she struggled to breathe. Inklings of a potential panic attack rose up in her, but she suppressed them as best she could. The last thing you needed was to worry on your way out. 

More of her tears fell against your neck, where her head was nestled. 

"I've loved you since our first date, Y/N," she sniffled. "I waited my whole life to find you, and you were worth every second." 

A smile found its way to your lips, slowly but surely, and rested there. 

"But now I'll have to miss you longer than I've known you. How am I supposed to cope?" She was defeated.

"I won't be very far," your voice had fallen to just above a whisper, barely even able to be classified as such.

Her hand rested against your collarbone, gripping the material of your shirt with such miserable tenacity that you wondered for a second if it was enough to keep you on Earth. 

An ambulance siren rang out in the distance, lonely and faraway. It might as well have been on Mars.

"Just smile when you think of me. You know how much I love your sm…."

Jennie's eyes shot open as you went silent. 

So, it seemed, her hold wasn't quite strong enough to tether you down. 

"Y/N?" She asked, sitting up. The small smile from before was still on your face, and your eyes were shut. Your color was gone, leaving your skin pale and void of the vibrancy you always possessed. 

"Y/N, no." She shook her head. "No. You're not gone yet. Not like this." 

She looked down at your stomach, where your blood-drenched hand had fallen away from your wound, only slightly concealing it at that point. She laid your arm down at your side, grimacing at the bullet hole once it was fully revealed. A few gashes marked your skin as well, cut in random patterns. They were made by the assailant's knife when you first put yourself between the two of them, prepared to defend Jennie with your life. When you had eventually wrestled it away from him, he cowardly took his gun from his waistline. 

You hadn't even had time to flinch.

Her shattered gaze retreated back up to your face. It was still hauntingly beautiful, somehow. Just like Juliet's. 

Did that make her Romeo, then? 

"The ambulance isn't far away, baby. Come on. Stay with me." 

She sat down beside you and pulled you in, silently asking herself why she hadn't done that in the first place. You deserved to be comfortable, and she hadn't even given you that. 

Regret number one. 

"Come on, baby," she cried, watching as your head lulled back when she pulled you closer. 

"Y/N, please." Her forehead pressed to the exposed area of your chest, feeling the last remnants of your warmth fade out. The beats of your failing heart had already stopped, and she felt her own wavering when she realized that. 

And so, there you sat. Your final resting place. Her breaths turned to hiccups as she struggled to keep a steady rhythm going, hyper aware of every intake and outtake of her own in the absence of yours. 

She was inconsolable as the ambulance arrived ten minutes later, and she wouldn't let go of you. Her tears poured like rain, and she felt that they would never stop. 

Her love was gone. Totally and absolutely. 

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

*an unclear amount of time later*

You awake with a wretched gasp, clutching your abdomen tightly. 

Disorientation is prevalent among your senses for several seconds, but it eventually begins to subside. You find yourself in the middle of a room once it does. 

The space around you is bright, but not clinically so. It's aura, more specifically, is light. It appears to be painted some soft shade of white, and it's void of any furniture or signifiers of human presence. 

Cautiously, you sit up. A door catches your eye from across the room; it's made of a sleek material completely different from everything else. A sign rests above it, reading "The In-Between."

Upon glancing down at yourself, you find that you still have on the outfit from the night of your death. There's no blood in sight, though, and the material has rid itself of any gashes or holes you earned back then. 

You smile momentarily, feeling true comfort in the absence of pain. 

A few seconds later, you hear a knock at the door. A woman opens it and steps through shortly after, bowing her head in greeting. 

You sit up straighter to receive it and reciprocate as she approaches you. 

Her dark, golden brown hair forms a natural afro; its curls are vibrant and beautiful, and they bounce lightly with every step she takes. Her skin is tanned, a mix of chestnut brown and sepia, and it contrasts wonderfully with the mild-colored tunic and pants that she wears.

Her hazel eyes, flickering with accents of green and mahogany, land on you. 

A dark folder is clutched in her hand. 

"Hello, Y/N. My name is Aniela, and I'm your assigned spirit guide." 

"Spirit guide?" You ask, brows furrowing slightly. 

She nods, having done this a million times before. You're by no means the first spirit she's had to introduce to this whole system. 

"We're tasked with helping souls cross over to the afterlife in peace." 

You glance down, taking the information in. 

"I see that you lived a courageous life," she notes, flipping through the pages of her folder. She flicks her index finger up into the air, and a desk appears in the room. Two chairs sit on either side of it as well, ready for you. 

"But since your death was a violent one, certain dues must be paid for you to gain peace." 

She extends a hand to you, and you allow her to help you up. She leads you to the chairs, where both of you sit. 

"Like what?" You ask, settling back into the cushions of the chair. 

"There are two types of errands that spirits have to tend to. First: personal matters of their heart." She puts the folder on the desk and clasps her hands together on top of it. 

"I can sense that you still have more you want to say to someone." She briefly closes her eyes, searching for something in her mind. 

"Jennie, right?" 

"Yes, that's right." 

She nods. "The second type is a matter of restoring the balance of the universe. Because you took a life before you died -- though it was in self defense -- you have to make amends for it. You have to help someone on Earth find closure before you can have it yourself." 

"How do I know who to help?" You ask curiously. 

"Considering you were protecting someone before your death, you've earned the right to choose who you help. That's our policy here." She explains.

You don't hesitate to speak your reply. "Then I choose Jennie."

"I figured as much," a light smile shows on her lips as she opens the folder, "so I went ahead and prepared the paperwork to put that in motion." 

"Jennie will become a part of what we call the Kulmis. This is the network of people on Earth that spirits here are looking after. You'll be tasked with helping her move on; once you've accomplished that, you can do so as well." 

Part of you wonders if this is all some wild dream that your dying mind had given you on the way out. After all, this entire place is totally foreign; no religion that you'd ever heard of had anything like this. 

Aniela can tell that you're struggling to process it all. 

"I know it's a lot to take in, and it may be a while before you adjust to this new routine. But I'll be with you every step of the way, and all you have to do is ask me if you have questions."

You nod again, taking a deep breath. The sensation is odd now, though; you can still breathe, but you lack the need to. You wonder if this body of yours is even really one at all. 

"What happens now?"

"You'll be sent back to Earth to complete your job. You're essentially a ghost now; you have the ability to manipulate and influence things around you, but people can't see you. Certain activities tax your energy more than others, so be careful not to influence too much all at once." 

You think for a moment. "How do I regain my energy?" 

"You just have to wait. It'll come back with time." She explains. 

"Will you be there with me?" Your fingers fidget in your lap.

She shakes her head, lips pressed in a line. "I have to stay here. We're not permitted to exist there on Earth, but I can still sense if you need me. All you have to do is ask a question, and I can still answer you." 

"Can people hear me speak?" 

She tilts her head slightly, curls following the movement. "That depends on intent. If you're asking me something, then no. But if you're actively using your energy to say something to them, it's possible. Some spirits call it a waste, though." She looks down momentarily. 

"Why?" 

"Sometimes your words will barely be audible no matter how loud you try to make them. It's a lottery that takes a large amount of energy from spirits; a lot of people have decided not to even try it." Her expression turns a little solemn at that. 

"I understand. Thank you for the help." 

Her long lashes flutter as she looks back up at you, smiling the tiniest bit. She hopes that your case will be one of the successful ones. 

"Do I go back now?" You ask, glancing around the room. 

She nods, standing. "I'll send you back. Just come here." She motions for you to meet her at the side of the desk, and you follow her instructions. 

"Put your right hand over your heart and close your eyes, please." 

You do, and she flicks her hands out at her sides. A strong, blue flame is emitted from her palms, swirling in a magical dance. She brings them to hover over your arm, trailing from your elbow to your heart. 

"Be well, my friend. I'll see you again in the future." 

She presses a hand against yours and touches your forehead with the other, casting you out. 

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

Earth, 2022 -- 9:27 PM

Seoul, SK

You wake again with a start, feeling as if your whole body has been jolted with the most powerful force in existence. A few coughs leave you as you stand up, brushing yourself off and taming your hair. 

You're in an alleyway between a bar and restaurant in downtown Seoul. The ground is grimy, and you cringe at the fact that you were laying on it just a moment ago. 

"Really, Aniela? Couldn't have spawned me upright?"

In her office, she grins. You're already complaining and you haven't even been back for a minute. 

"Sorry, Y/N. Maybe next time I'll remember to do that." 

You scoff, but you're secretly smiling. You hope she can't tell, because you don't want to give her the satisfaction.

Your feet lead you towards the light of the city as you emerge from the dark alley, and you find comfort in the familiar setting. People mingle about, stopping by the street stands to get food as shopping bags hang on their arms. Teenagers dressed in their uniforms gossip and laugh, shoving each other on their way home. A few children hold their mother's hands, their eyes open wide and filled with wonder as they look around. 

In some ways, you feel just like them right now.

The sounds of the city grow into a lively chorus as you shove your hands into your pockets and begin walking through it all. 

--

Jennie's Apartment

As soon as you arrive in front of Jennie's apartment building -- where the two of you used to live together -- a strange chill runs up your spine. It makes you feel cold, but you do your best to shake it off. 

The light of her bedroom is on, glowing out into the night through the shade that's drawn in the window. Shadows of movement come from inside, and a few seconds later, the window opens. 

You perk up, subconsciously taking a step forward as you gaze up at her. Your shoes make a soft crunch against the road as you do so. 

She pushes the pane up and locks it in place before sitting down on the sill. Her feet dangle outside of it, hovering a couple feet above the metal landing of the fire escape. So many tears shine in her eyes that you can see them glistening from where you are. 

A heavy sigh falls from her lips, shuddered and poignant. Your chest aches at the sound - literally - and you bring a hand up to your heart to try to rub it away. 

"Hey, baby. It's me again," she says quietly, taking something from the desk that sits next to her, just inside the room. You step closer again, only to find that she's holding a picture.

A framed picture, so be precise, of the two of you. It was taken on your four year anniversary, just three months ago. You remember how much she cherishes that photo. 

Her head hangs defeatedly as she runs a finger over the curve of your jaw, a whole new batch of tears brimming. She sniffles, and you shut your eyes, whispering a quiet wish to be up there with her. 

When you open them again, you find that you are. 

How the hell that had just happened, you have no clue. This new way of life will definitely take some getting used to, but you can find out how to navigate it later. For now, you conceal your shock; you want to be here for Jennie in any way you can. 

Now on the landing in front of her, your fingers curl around the railing. She holds all of your attention and she doesn't even know it. 

"I really miss you," she sobs, her voice hoarse from all the crying she's been doing, and turns to bury her face in the crook of her elbow. Her body jumps and twitches as her erratic breathing intensifies, breaking your heart even more. 

A couple minutes pass before she's calmed down enough to talk again. 

"The girls have been checking up on me everyday," she says, and you're relieved. You've been worried sick. 

"They miss you, too. I saw Jisoo cry for the second time in my life yesterday. We were talking about you when it started, and then she told me about a present she never got to give to you. I guess she had planned to bring it over on her next day off of work, but you…" she trails off, and you know what she means. 

You died before Jisoo could give it to you. 

Clearly Jennie can't even bring herself to say that you died. She's nowhere close to closure. 

You set your jaw and step forward, getting a better look at her. Her nose is a bright shade of red, her clothes are mussed and disheveled, and you can practically see a dark cloud hanging over her. The area under her eyes is adorned with dark circles -- evidence of the sleep she's lost since you left. 

Your eyes drift down her body and eventually land on her watch. Wanting to test something, you tap its surface and hope that you're capable of turning it on.

Sure enough, you are. 

Jennie glances down at it, just like you. She probably thinks she got a notification.

When you look at the date and time displayed there, you realize just how long you've been gone. 

2 weeks.

That's simultaneously surprising and… expected. When you met Aniela, it felt like a mere few seconds after your death. But when you entered the city again, you could feel that it had begun to grow and continue on without you. Its energy has begun to shift to something new that you haven't been here to witness. 

It's an odd thing, but it's undeniable. 

"Lisa and Rosie are just as bad," she starts up again, turning herself sideways in the window and tucking her legs in close to her chest. "And your family-- God… telling them what happened was terrible." 

A frown hangs heavy on your face at the thought of that. You're not sure if you're able to visit anyone else since you chose Jennie as your Kulmis. 

"But I'm barely hanging on, Y/N." 

Your head snaps up at that. 

"I don't feel like eating or doing anything… this is awful," she sets the picture in her lap and covers her face, allowing her head to push back against the wall. Her muffled cries bleed out into the night air, echoing among the quiet. 

"I've barely gotten out of bed these past few days. I thought things would get a little easier after your funeral, but it's only been harder." Her voice is haunting, filled with unprocessed grief. 

You can't take it anymore. Seeing her so broken is doing the same to you. 

You step forward and pull yourself up into the window. Your legs straddle either side of it as you settle down, and you move to touch her. 

Maybe, since you can manipulate things, she'll be able to sense your presence at the very least.

When your palm makes contact with her knee, you can barely feel her. If you push too hard, your hand goes right through her. 

Keeping this in mind, you scoot forward and wrap your arms around her, but just barely. Your hold is loose, but it holds all the love and comfort that you have to give to her. 

"I love you," you say, wanting to cry right along with her. You close your eyes as your heart makes a wish.

"Help her feel me, Aniela. Please. Let her know I'm here with her." 

You press into her a little more when suddenly your body begins to hum. It's gentle but consistent, and you have no choice but to just let it happen. 

Once it subsides, you pull away slightly. 

Jennie's attention is caught by something outside, on the roof of the next building over, and you follow her line of sight to discover what it is. 

An owl. (Thanks to an online quiz you once did with her for fun, you found that your "spirit animal" is that exact type of owl. Hers is a cat.)

Go figure. 

She laughs lightly through her tears, shaking her head. 

A few seconds later, she speaks. "Thanks for checking in, baby. I'll try to rest now." 

You step out onto the landing as she climbs back into the room, parting ways yet again. She sends a whispered I love you up to the stars before shutting the window behind herself, and you lean back against the railing with a sigh. 

This is going to be daunting. 

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

Five Days Later

You've fallen into a sort of rhythm with Jennie over the past few days: you watch over her while she works, and spend the evenings with her out on the window. She apologizes for new regrets each time, declares her love and pain, confesses things she wanted to tell you… she talks like you're really there with her, and you're thankful for that. 

You're hoping that the whole process of it is helping her heal. 

You've sent her as many signs of your presence as Aniela is capable of helping you with, and you've manipulated things to brighten her day. 

Sometimes you'll subtly pull the curtain back when you sense that she's getting chilly and allow the warm sunlight to reach her skin. 

Other times, if she's misplaced something, you'll find it and put it somewhere easy for her to discover. You always love seeing her celebrate when she locates it, and Aniela can sense it too. She's awarded a moment of happiness -- something she can't get enough of right now. 

But one day, this whole routine came crashing down, crumbling in upon itself like a house of cards. All at once, with one phone call, Jennie's progress was stripped away from her.

It was from an insurance company that hadn't caught wind of your death yet, and Jennie was forced to relay the details for their report so she could close the account. 

The seemingly insignificant interaction proved devastating, though, as she grew emotional on the telephone. You held her from behind, telling her to stay strong with every ounce of energy you possessed. She managed to make it through, but she retreated back into herself when it was over. 

Her bedroom became her haven, and you pulled her in as close as you could as she cried. 

That night, she didn't go out to the window. She stayed in bed, rolled amongst the sheets, as she entered into a cycle of crying and sleeping. The tears only stopped when she was unconscious, and her body used that time to refill its reserves, evidently. 

A haze settled over her; a fog in her mind, blurring any sense of when one ended and the other began. It was an incessant, gut wrenching despair that you were helpless in stopping.

All night -- well into the AM, really -- she sobbed. The call had reopened wounds that were just beginning to heal, and it's always then that it hurts the most. Old wounds are tougher, a little more resilient. But new ones lack even the idea of that. 

She was left in a renewed state of sorrow, now, and you could do nothing but watch. You feared that sending her a sign would throw her over the edge or make her more upset, so you refrained. 

And, darkly, you didn't really know what kind of headspace she was in at that point. Her doctor had given her some antidepressants and sleeping pills to cope with your death, and she'd been eyeing them from time to time. Her body ached for release, for the tension to be relieved; but you stayed by her side and did your best to fight her demons with her. 

You'd never forgive yourself if she did something like that on your watch. 

When she had fallen asleep on that sixth night, you stepped outside to get some air. You could feel that same, ominous chill you first felt when you arrived, and it did nothing to comfort you. 

It felt like a warning sign, and you knew then that you had to reach out for guidance. 

"This isn't working, Aniela. She's getting worse now." 

In the In-Between, Aniela was filling out some forms before her next meeting commenced. She'd be discussing the endeavors of all of her spirits and how their Kulmis are doing. Including you and Jennie. 

She finished writing something down on the sheet in front of her before responding. 

"Is there anything you used to do to calm her down?" She suggested, thinking. 

"Nothing that I haven't already tried; we've exhausted our options." You shook your head. "But there has to be something else." 

She took a deep breath, considering every tool she had at her disposal. Spirit guides are strictly prohibited from interfering with human life in any way, seeing as how it can alter the course of nature and affect other people's futures as well. But what she could do, what she knew was a potential option, required approval from her boss. 

She replayed the memories of your interactions with Jennie, remembering how hard you'd been trying to help her obtain the closure that she needs. She's watched every meeting you've had with her, and your effort has been clear every time. 

She knew what she had to do. 

"Y/N, I'll contact you again in about two hours. I have a meeting with my boss, but I have a plan to help you and Jennie. I'll do my best to make it work. Just give me that time." 

"Alright, Aniela. Thank you."

With that you settled at the end of Jennie's bed, tissues and water on hand for when she would eventually wake up. 

*******

Two Hours Later

Likely from your lack of available energy, you fell asleep. The time was needed to recharge your powers, if you want to call them that, and you awoke feeling a little lighter. 

Now, you're communicating with Aniela again as Jennie sluggishly fixes some instant ramen for herself in the kitchen. 

Glimmers of moonlight flit into the apartment through the blinds of the living room window, but the majority of the space around you is dark. The kitchen light above Jennie is on, though, showering her in a soft golden hue.

"I talked things over with my boss, and she's allowing me to commit a Code Green for one night only." Aniela says.

"Code Green? You ask, curious but willing to accept any help you can get.

"She's witnessed your efforts, and she doesn't want Jennie to join us anytime soon. So she's letting me make you visible for one night." 

You stop the pacing you had been doing, and Kuma tilts his head at you from his bed. 

"You can do that?" You're in disbelief. 

"Only under extreme circumstances -- which my boss has deemed this as such." 

"So I'll be like a human, basically?" 

She shrugs, though you can't see it. "More or less." 

"Are you sure she won't have a heart attack or something?" You ask, not wanting to be the reason that Jennie ends up like you. 

Aniela grins at your innocent question, putting her fingers against her lips to stifle a laugh. "I don't think that'll happen. She might pass out, though, so be sure to catch her." She teases, hoping to lighten the mood some. 

"I don't know how to properly thank you," you confess softly, sincerity riding the tones of your voice. 

"You don't need to. I already know, Y/N/N." 

She feels a sense of accomplishment at what she managed to pull off. Convincing her boss took some serious effort, but she'd do it a million times over to ensure that you and Jennie both get the happy ending you deserve. 

She's seen more than enough suffering in her many years as a guide. 

"Just get in position again and leave the rest to me." 

You listen, putting your hand over your heart and closing your eyes. 

"This will wear off in 12 hours, so spend them wisely. We'll talk again then," she explains. 

You nod and thank her again before the transformation begins.

***

A million, tiny pricks all jab into your body at once, but the feeling is over before you can even make a sound of discomfort. You look around, finding that you're right where you were before. 

Kuma barks a few times when you lock eyes with him, his tail beginning to wag as he stands up. But you hold a finger up to your lips as your eyes go wide, silently begging him to be quiet. 

Jennie sends out a half-hearted response for him to do the same, and he listens...

For a minute.

She brings the heat down to simmer as she shuffles to the cabinet to grab a bowl, and you hold your breath. 

Should you hide? 

She doesn't notice you, thankfully, and she returns to her food. A handful of seared chicken is quickly shredded, and she puts it in the bottom of the bowl. Next, she turns the burner off and drains some of the water from her noodles. 

When she moves back towards her bowl, you notice that she's wearing the cat slippers that you bought her for her birthday. 

You smile bittersweetly, and Kuma notices. 

In a span of 30 seconds, just about everything that could possibly go wrong, goes wrong.

Kuma barks again, but this time he doesn't heed Jennie's command for him to quiet down. He leaves his bed and approaches you in a flurry of moving fur, and jumps into your arms. You catch him, causing Jennie to turn around to see what's going on. 

She locks eyes with you, and in an instant she's on the floor. 

"Told you so," Aniela chuckles.

You panic and shout a curse before plopping Kuma back down and running to her. 

You waste no time in carrying her over to the couch and propping her feet up to help her recover faster. You rush back to the sink and wet a rag before returning to her side. 

"Shit, Jennie," you tut, wiping her face and neck down. "I didn't mean to scare you." 

She groans after a minute and begins to stir, thanks to your careful ministrations. 

"Am I dead?" She asks, voice small as she peeks an eye open before quickly closing it again. 

"No," you laugh, smiling. You've missed her. 

"Then how…" she asks, opening her eyes to look at you. Her hand cups your cheek, feeling your soft skin against her palm again. Tears brim her eyes instantly; her lip quivers. 

"I'm dreaming." She tells herself, let down. 

"No, you aren't," you assure her, brushing her hair out of her face. "This is a long story," you say, motioning to yourself, "but I'm ready to tell it all." 

She nods, still woozy and 85% sure that this is some cruel fever dream that her mind has concocted, but she sits up nonetheless. Even if it is a dream, she doesn't think it can make her sadder than she already is.

You sit down beside her and tell her everything you've experienced since your death. Of course, you omit the harsher details, wanting more than anything to spare her and blind her from a little bit of reality. 

In turn, she asks questions and attempts to wrap her brain around all of the info you give, just as you had done before. 

In half an hour, you're finished.

Her hands reach out to hold you, and you offer your body to her willingly, slotting yourself against her when she pulls you in. Your legs wrap around her waist, and your arms hang loosely around her neck. 

"I've missed you so much," she frowns, looking down at your lap.

"I know, baby; I've seen it all, and I've been right by your side. Could you feel me?" You try not to sound too hopeful, just in case she says no. 

"I think so, yeah," she says, looking into your eyes. "I felt a little colder, sometimes, when I thought about you. The atmosphere felt a little different, too; like I wasn't alone." 

Your shoulders relax some, a little tension vanishing. 

"I'm glad, jagi." You bring a hand to caress her cheek like you've done a million times before, but it seems to strike a nerve. 

Barely-dormant tears now brim again, threatening to spill at any second.

"If I had just given the guy my purse, you'd still be here right now." She laments, blaming herself again. 

"Stop, baby. Don't think like that," you soothe, wiping her tears away. "We have no idea what would've happened then, and getting caught up on the what-ifs isn't going to solve anything. None of what happened is your fault." 

Her brown eyes shimmer as she looks at you. Even now, she's beautiful in every way.

"Even knowing what I know now, I'd do what I did all over again to keep you safe. You have to stop blaming yourself, Jen." 

Her hands subconsciously tighten in the material of your shirt, where they rest against your back. 

"You have to let go of all this pain and regret," you command softly, letting your eyes track all over her face. You'll never get tired of seeing her. "I'm not asking you to forget about me or be okay with what happened, but I need you to accept it and start moving forward."

"All this grief you feel," you say, putting a hand over her heart, "is love that has no place to go. Please don't waste it on this; use it to make all kinds of happy memories in this lifetime. Live every second you've got left to the fullest, and tell me about all of it when we meet again."

Some tears fall from your eyes now as well, and you're a bit shocked; you hadn't expected to have that ability. 

Jennie dries them with her thumbs before holding your face in her hands. You melt into her touch, missing her simple embrace more than words can express. 

"I have no idea how I'm going to do this without you, Y/N, but I'll try; okay? I'll do all the things we wanted to and probably cry the whole time. I'll order new foods at our favorite restaurants and wonder if you'd have liked them. And I'll ache at every new thing I discover about myself that I want to share with you. I'll do it because I love you; not because I think it'll be easy." 

"That's more than enough for me, baby. I just need you to take care of yourself, and ask for help when you need it. You know the girls will always be there for you, and our families are just a call away. Don't let this pain win, okay?" You ask, more tears brimming. 

"Don't let my life culminate with my death. We had too many good times for that one moment to speak for me. I'm not my death, Jennie," you assure her, hoping your message resonates. 

"I'm every kiss we ever shared. Every hug and apology that I ever spoke. Every laugh, every shout, and every single minute I spent on Earth. Remember me like that, okay?" 

She falls into your arms before another sob wracks through her, overcome with emotion; you rub her back and hold her tight. Your shirt grows wet from her tears, sticking to you; but you welcome the sensation. It serves as evidence that you're really here right now, and that this isn't just a figment of your imagination. 

Her nails dig into the skin of your back as she cries, but you don't mind. You stay like that until her breathing evens out some, on its way to reaching normalcy.

"How long can you stay?" She sniffles, getting the question out after a minute or two.

"For the night." You glance at the clock on the coffee table. "About 11 hours now, to be exact." 

She nods against your shoulder, not letting you go. "Then can we cuddle for a while? I need you to hold me like before again." 

"Of course, my love." Your hands fall to her thighs, slipping beneath them as you stand up and hoist her into your arms. Your hold is strong and steady, just like always, and she sinks into it as you carry her to the bedroom. She can still smell your perfume on your neck (courtesy of Aniela's workings), and she's comforted by that. 

Your lips brush against her temple. "I'll heat up your food for you in a little while, okay? We've gotta make sure you eat well." 

Her voice is soft as she speaks her reply: "Okay, baby." She settles into your body a little more, and her hair falls across your shoulder in the process. 

You shut the bedroom door with your foot before laying her down on the bed, where she remains wrapped around you. Neither of you move for a while; you lay on your back with her in your arms, legs entangled. Your hands roam up and down her back in lazy patterns until she loosens her grip a little, sleep beginning to weigh on her exhausted body.

You roll over and ease her onto the mattress, careful not to disturb her. She hums slightly in response, pressing herself into the comforter.

Your angel, so precious and mild, is finally making some progress. Her swollen features are beginning to return to normal, and their redness is lightening. 

She reaches for you and you slide in next to her without question.

"Kiss me," she requests, her eyes still closed. 

You smile before leaning in, feeling her do the same as your lips meet. It's soft and slow; an intimate pace set. She takes her time, reveling in the ways that you respond to her and finding solace in your touch. Every second like this with you is a blessing, and she wants to make them count.

So, she pulls you a little closer. Kisses you a little harder. And pushes away the reality of your impending departure. 

You have the next few hours to do whatever you want with, and she thanks her lucky stars for that gift. You'll make memories to last a lifetime, if you have to.

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

The In-Between

Hours later, you wind up back in what you now know as Aniela's office. 

She opens the door and smiles, greeting you. Her heels click against the pristine floor, announcing her path to her desk with each footfall; but you stand up and stop her before she can make it there. 

Your arms wrap around her in a gracious hug, tightening when she reciprocates the gesture. 

"What's this for?" She asks, slightly taken aback.

"Everything. You've done more for me than I ever could have imagined. Thank you."

She rubs your back and presses her cheek to your head, appreciating the sudden show of affection more than you even realize. She can't remember the last time she had a proper hug.

"Seeing you happy makes it worth it, Y/N. I'm glad it all worked out." 

She pulls away, smiling at you.

You nod, agreeing as you join her at the desk. 

"What did you two do anyway?" She plays, quirking an inquisitive brow.

You smile to yourself, blushing at the memories. "I'd prefer not to say." 

She surrenders, raising her hands humorously. "I understand. I might barf if I heard it anyway," she covers her mouth, pretending to gag.

"Yeah, yeah," you roll your eyes, laughing.

You trade a few more jokes while she fills out a piece of paperwork. 

"Damn," you say, peeking at it. "The afterlife sure does have a lot of this." 

"No, this is all so you can get into the afterlife. The storm before the calm," she corrects. 

"Touché." 

She signs her name at the bottom before turning it around to you. She outstretches a pen directly after. 

"Just sign at the bottom whenever you're ready. I'll be sending you over after this."

You nod singularly, feeling a bit sad all of a sudden. You've grown fond of Aniela since meeting her, and the unknown that lies before you is still scary, no matter how much comfort she tries to provide. 

The prospect of leaving Jennie for good doesn't make things any easier, either. 

"I know it's upsetting, Y/N/N," she mitigates, putting a hand on top of yours. "But you deserve this peace. Saying goodbye to all of this is never easy, but you'll be happy there, too, in ways you couldn't be here. I promise."

"I'm just gonna miss this." 

"I know. And everyone and everything will miss you as well. Including me," she adds softly, squeezing your hand.

"But you won't be forgotten here, and if fate decides for all of us to meet again, we will. Things will fall into place in time. You just have to be patient." 

"Alright," you sigh, releasing your worries for the universe to deal with. You sign your name and stand, giving Aniela another warm hug. 

"Be well, Y/N/N. I've loved knowing you." 

Those are the last words you hear before leaving her arms and crossing over into the afterlife. 

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

♡  Bonus ♡

The Next Life, Years Later

Los Angeles, CA -- 10:24 AM

For once in the many years of California's history, traffic is actually moving quickly. 

It's not backed up, somehow, and Jennie is convinced that the darker workings of the universe are pulling some strings to make that happen. 

Why is that a bad thing, you ask?

Because despite the effort that Jennie's short legs are putting into each and every pump they make against the sidewalk, her pursuit of the city bus is proving fruitless. It speeds off faster than she's ever seen in go, and she curses into the wind before eventually giving up. 

She clutches her side, breathing quickly and wincing when she turns, getting an eye full of the blinding summer sun. 

Her feet ache. It's a wonder she didn't break a heel. 

*beep beep*

The sound draws her attention, having made her jump slightly. She also mentally curses the universe for making her so easily scareable. 

"Need a ride, love?" Someone asks, grinning from the seat of their moped. They're a few feet in front of her, idle in the bike lane next to the sidewalk as they reach for their helmet.

Her eyes find their way to the other person's as she approaches them, and she tilts her head curiously. A strange sensation courses through her, traveling from her heart outward and trickling down to her fingertips. 

After a few seconds, it dons on her.

"It's you," she says breathlessly, her eyes gaining a new glow.

You smile that same smile that made her fall in love with you all those years ago. "I've been waiting." 

Memories light up both of your minds at the sight of one another. They span across all of your different lifetimes together; tens of hellos, all kinds of first kisses, sad goodbyes, and even growing old together… they all intermingle, blending to become the story of you.

She surprises you when she leans in to kiss you, grabbing onto the collar of your shirt. You hold her close and return it, unable to fight the grin on your lips.

"Psst," a nearby voice later alerts, getting your attention. "Are you coming or not?" 

You turn to look towards the source of the noise.

Standing in the middle of the intersection, the traffic director tilts her head. Her curls flutter in the breeze, their luscious color showing …. Just like someone else's you know. 

"There's a line starting behind you." She nudges her head into the air, motioning behind you.

"Aniela?" No way...

She winks at you, nodding as a smile of her own grows across her face. She's more than happy to see you.

"Yeah," you answer her question, feeling content. "We'll get going." 

You peek up at Jennie, finding her already slipping your passenger helmet over her head. She peers down at you, asking how it looks.

Her cheeks are squished by the sides of it, making her look even more adorable. Quickly, you settle the clear shield into place and assure her that she's never looked better. 

She climbs onto the seat behind you, clasping her hands together in front of your abdomen. 

"Let's go, baby." 

You rev the sad little engine, laughing with her at the sound. As you take off past Aniela, you hold a hand out.

She returns the high five and waves, watching the two of you head off in hopes of getting Jennie to work on time. 

Mission accomplished, she whispers.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

(A/N: Happy Valentine's Day, my loves 💜)

You Again?

Pairing: Jiu x Fem!Reader

AU: Non-Idol

Warnings / Misc. -- Some Angst, Smut, Fluff, Happy Ending :)

Word Count: 9,955

Summary: Y/N and Jiu have history. Unresolved tension, unanswered questions, lingering desire: the inconvenient kind. But when they both unwittingly agree to attend a mutual friend's vacation trip, they're forced to confront their feelings head on and learn to live with one another again.

Why, exactly?

Because they just so happen to be rooming together.

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hi everyone! I apologize for my absence, but I hope you enjoy this piece :) I have more stories coming, so stay tuned! 💖 Make sure to eat something good today and drink plenty of water.

💖 Happy Reading 🌹

◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚

This has got to be a day for the record books. One of the worst, most unfair in all of human history. 

Well, let’s be realistic: one of the worst in your life. Maybe “human history” is a bit of a stretch – though you can’t exactly blame yourself for giving into the dramatics at a time like this.

The sound of your best friend sighing in frustration brings you out of your annoyed daze, pulling your attention back to her. 

“Y/N, you’re acting like a child. It’s only for one night.”

“Exactly, Y/BFFs/N; one night is far too long for the two of us to be around each other.”

She scoffs, but you don't budge. There's no way you're accepting this without a fight. 

"Why don't we have somebody else switch?" You suggest. 

She shakes her head, dismissing you. "Most of the girls already went up," she explains, motioning behind herself to the cabin. Sure enough, you can see shadows moving within the rooms – forms hidden behind pulled curtains, almost taunting as they shift around in the visible lamplight.

“And I’ve already told Jiu about it.”

You roll your eyes.

"Plus we all sorted this out beforehand." She shrugs. "Since you both joined at the last minute, it only makes sense to put you together."

Now it's your turn to sigh. Suddenly, an idea pops into your head. 

"How about I sleep in the car?" You brighten at the thought of your own scheme; quite literally anything would be better than being trapped between four walls with Jiu. 

"Ha ha, very funny," Y/BFFs/N mocks, clearly not amused. "You can't stay out here. You'll either freeze to death or waste all of our gas trying not to, and I don't think you really wanna do that." 

A disappointed tut leaves you; your warm breath turns to a puff of white air before dissipating into the night. 

Alright, maybe it's colder than you thought. Maybe.

"I'll talk to the others tomorrow morning and see what I can do, okay?" She offers, bringing a hand up to rub the back of her neck. She looks tired, and a pang of guilt washes over you when you notice it.

"Okay. I'm sorry." Regret shines in your eyes, but it's quickly eased by the growing, sleepy smile on her face. 

"Don't worry about it," she reassures you, looping an arm with yours. The two of you fall in step together, heading back to the cabin. 

"I know it's difficult, after everything. But it's just a few hours. I'm sure you can survive that, no?" 

You shake your head, though you're grinning. 

"We'll have to see. I'm sure she'll make it hard." 

Y/BFFs/N slides her free hand along the polished oak handle of the porch's glass door, opening it for the two of you. 

"Just be civil and it'll all be fine. You don't even have to talk." 

The resulting glare you send her makes her laugh. 

Tonight will definitely be the death of you. 

–

Across the first floor, tucked away in the kitchen, Jiu is hard at work. She stands in a pair of shorts and an oversized sweatshirt, cleaning the grill she helped prepare dinner on earlier. A few strands of her hair have evaded the grasp of her ponytail holder, coming down to frame her face as she scrubs away. 

“Why don’t you just save that for the morning?” Someone unseen inquires, sounding half asleep. 

She turns around to find one of your friend’s other invites moseying over to the center island, bottle of water in hand. Her face is scrunched up some, and the small bags under her eyes immediately remind Jiu of who she is.

It’s Sua, the person who pre-gamed too early and overexerted herself when the group first arrived at the cabin earlier this morning. She’s been nursing a headache for the past few hours as a result. 

The low groan that she lets out as she hauls herself onto the high-top chair makes Jiu giggle, but she stifles it to the best of her ability. The younger girl has managed to brighten everybody’s moods all day long despite feeling how she does; she's truly a gift. 

“I want to get it done so I can rest easy,” Jiu finally answers. 

Sua rolls her eyes. “Sleep now, clean later. This is a vacation for a reason, you know? We deserve to procrastinate.” She raises her bottle to her lips, taking a long drink. 

“You do that, I’ll clean,” Jiu resolves, nodding to herself. 

“Suit yourself, pabo.” 

Sua folds her arms on the countertop and lays her head down, yawning as she nuzzles her cheek against the soft material of her sweater. Jiu glances at her and smiles, amused. She appreciates her nonchalance likely more than anyone else on this trip; it’s distracted her from her worries.  

Namely, you: her biggest inconvenience. 

When news reached her of Y/BFFs/N’s plans for a week-long getaway, she was intrigued. Work had been a hassle, she was stressed, and all in all she just needed a break. So, she pulled some strings, got her shifts covered, and took the time off.

All was well for the first few hours, when everyone was at Y/BFFs/N’s house, readying up to make the long drive to the forest resort; but then you made a surprise appearance there, busting in and looking just as good as you did the last time Jiu saw you. 

Effectively, it ruined her mood.

You’d glanced at her, then, when you first walked through the door. She was the one closest to you, having been on her way to get a refill of the drink she had in hand. Truthfully, it felt like slow motion; for a second, it was like the two of you were back to where you had been all that time ago. 

When you were still together.

You crossed the threshold with an eager smile, luggage bags weighing heavy in your hands before you allowed them to slip off your fingertips and land on the ground with a soft noise of impact. She met your eye for a fleeting moment, and she unconsciously took a small step toward you. Her lips began to pull back in the soft grin that you always told her you loved, mimicking the happy expression on your face. For that foolish second, she was transfixed. Foolish.

It was as if you were looking through her; you hadn’t actually perceived her at all, really. She was a passing face as you searched for Y/BFFs/N’s, only caring to register hers. 

Just before Jiu could utter a word or reach you, a loud cheer rang out from behind her. The entirety of the group had picked up on your arrival, word spreading fast throughout the living room once one of them caught a glimpse of you. 

She cursed quietly and retreated a few steps, allowing the excited crowd to gather around you and visit. 

You happily shared the story of how your boss – who’s always regarded you with a distant indifference – finally showed her humanity and adjusted the schedules so that you could have some time off. Not the entire week, of course, but a few days to go and be with your friends. Everyone seemed genuinely happy to see you; even the ones who barely knew you, having only heard of your existence through the stories that Y/BFFs/N had told them. It all made Jiu feel like the odd one out.

But she could remember a time when just hearing your name made her heart flutter, too, so she couldn’t exactly fault them. 

From a distance, she watched you. How you moved. How your hands danced around as you explained your stories. The way your lips pouted and pursed with every syllable, almost taunting her. 

She thought she had gotten over you months ago, after things ended. She thought she was stronger than this; but clearly, moving on would be impossible with you around. That was to be done separate, no more strings attached. The idea of having to look at you, to hear your laugh, to be near you in such a way and pretend like everything was fine seemed unfathomable. With every trace of you gone, maybe, maybe then she could move on. 

Anything less destroyed even the chance of closure for her. But, she supposed, closure would just have to wait a week or so. 

—

25 Minutes Later

Put lightly, Jiu is avoiding you. 

After washing the grill and dishes, she took her time with leading a groggy Sua back to her room and making sure she got settled fine. She made some small talk with some of the other girls in passing, but nothing as serious as she was looking for.

She’d be happy to debate the meaning of life right now if it kept the two of you apart for a little longer.

But with lights out rapidly approaching and everyone dragging themselves to their respective rooms, she knows the chances of that are nearing zero. So, begrudgingly, she makes her way up to the suite. 

With every step she takes, she wonders what you’re doing in there. Are you already asleep? Reading? Watching television? Maybe you’re scrolling mindlessly on your phone. Maybe you’re not even in there at all. 

The questions pile up in her mind until she eventually gets fed up and decides to be unaffected for once. Or, at least, to appear that way. She shouldn’t care regardless, and she reminds herself of that fact. All the two of you have to do is make it through the night, and then something can be arranged so that you can stay far, far away from one another. Not so hard, right?

Wrong. Certifiably, absolutely, unequivocally wrong. 

When Jiu opens the bedroom door, she finds you fresh out of the shower. A lacy bra adorns your upper half, while a towel is wrapped around your waist; you’re bent over your suitcase in search of some shorts to wear.

She looks away quickly, but it’s too little too late; even as she shuts the door and turns around, pressing her forehead to the wooden surface, she can picture your body. 

She mentally curses the water droplets that run their paths down your chest and abdomen, free as they edge closer and closer to where the towel meets your waist. They touch you in a way that she never can again, and she hates that.

More specifically, she hates the fact that she wants to.

Your eyes land on her as you stand up, shorts in hand. A heavy feeling of embarrassment settles over you. 

“Uh, sorry,” you mumble, not knowing what to do. 

She turns back around to face you after a moment, but she refuses to meet your gaze. If she does, her resolve will surely falter and crumble.

“There should still be plenty of hot water left if you’d like to take a shower,” you offer, extending an olive branch of sorts. From the angle you have of her face, you can see relief spread across it. 

She wastes no time in sending you a quick thank you and slipping off to the safety of the bathroom, leaving you to question what the hell just happened.

Most of the time, she’s engaging and bold; her liveliness is one of the things that made you fall in love with her. Even at the end of your relationship, when things were falling apart, it was never like this; she never refused to look at you as many times as she had today, or been so weary anytime you entered a room. She never used to despise you so much, and as that sinks in you realize just how much it hurts.

Despite everything, you hate how unbothered she is. 

While you’ve watched her from afar all day, agonizing over the curl of her lip when someone said something witty or the sound of her easy banter with the other girls, she’s clearly been fine. Paying you no mind doesn’t seem to be a challenge for her anymore, and you dislike that more than you thought you would. 

Truth be told, you hadn’t prepared yourself for that. With the scope of your relationship and the lack of closure you received, it only made sense for you to assume she’d miss you as much as you miss her. To be just as affected now, by it all, as you have been. 

But that’s clearly not the case. 

—

Once she’s alone, Jiu takes the opportunity to steady herself. Her hands find their way to the cool marble countertop of the sink, and she draws in a deep breath. 

She can’t stand you. 

Now, from just that small interaction, all she can think about is you. The subdued lighting of the room only brought out your features more, leaving shadows to fall across the parts of you that were untouched by it. Your muscles pulled and strained as you sifted through your bag, parting clothes left and right in search of your shorts. She could see your face, too, looking just as kissable as always. 

She really can’t stand you. 

Defeatedly, she turns the water on. The cold streams down, unaccompanied by any real heat whatsoever; this will be a freezing shower, she’s decided. She doesn’t trust what she might do otherwise, alone in here with her thoughts of you and steam clouding her judgement. 

The subtle throb between her legs is enough to warn her; she knows she’ll do something stupid if she doesn’t stop herself now, before it has the chance to start. 

When she strips out of her clothes, she does her best to think of anything other than the way you used to undress her. How you sat on your knees before her, slowly inching her pants down as your warm lips left kisses in their wake. How you’d take your time with her panties afterward, holding eye contact with her and stopping your motions anytime she looked away. 

Even now, goosebumps rise to her skin at the memory. It was torture then, but for entirely different reasons. 

She was promised sweet release then, no matter how much you may have edged or tested her. Now she'd consider herself lucky to even be rewarded with a conversation. 

Shaking the thoughts from her head, she steps into the tub. The frigid water makes contact with her back, and she has to sink her teeth into her lower lip to keep from shouting. But if this is what it takes to keep you out of her mind, then so be it. 

–

The muscles of your neck and shoulders ache as you sit at the mahogany desk on the far side of the room, half-heartedly working on the report your boss asked you to start. It was what you had to give in order to take the time off, which is only reasonable. Even still, you're having a hard time staying focused. 

The desk faces one of the large bay windows of the room, overlooking the forest and mountains that surround you. Darkness completely envelops the land, save for the occasional house light far off in the distance. Moonbeams hit the treetops, coating them in a sparkle that contrasts with the midnight sky. 

Nearby, an electric fireplace crackles, reminding you of its presence. It's situated as the centerpiece of the lounge area of the suite, providing the room with some additional warmth and light from its place beneath the television. Faux flames waver within it, vibrant as they mingle with one another. Some burn brightly while others glow dimly; the wild versus the tamed.

Despite everything, maybe this trip will do you some good. Escaping the hustle and bustle of your life back home is always a plus, and being in nature never fails to ground you again. Some circumstances might be unsatisfactory, sure, but you're determined to not let that stop you from enjoying this time away. You deserve it, after all.

Just as you find the inspiration to start your reporting again, another one of your distractions makes herself known. 

From the bathroom, a pleasant humming fades in; it's Jiu, reciting the chorus to one of her favorite songs. She breaks into vocals occasionally, switching between the two. 

No matter how much you wish you could, you can't deny that it sounds perfect, coupled with the atmosphere that surrounds you. Given its range and ease, her voice has always been a comfort; getting sick of it is simply impossible. That fact annoys you, but at the same time you give up trying to fight it; you know there's no use.

It takes you back in more ways than you know how to handle, but you don’t complain. For now, you’ll bottle up this feeling and store it away for later, when you part ways and return to the chaos of your own lives. 

Maybe then you could open such a Pandora’s Box.

-

A few minutes later, she finally emerges from the bathroom; you attempt to ignore the urge to perk up. It's difficult, no doubt, after being left to your own devices for so long. Knowing she's so close and yet so unattainable doesn't help either. 

You don't turn around, just in case she isn't fully clothed.

It isn't anything you haven't seen before, but you're afraid you don't have that kind of permission anymore. The last thing you want to do is overstep.

Jiu wishes you'd look at her.

One thing she misses the most about you is your attention. You always paid it so freely – so willingly – rarely taking it off of her. It was ready for her anytime she wanted it, mainly because she had you so enraptured. 

Just the same as you’d always watched her, she watched you. She lived for the way your eyes lit up whenever she smiled or laughed, shining beautifully in a way they never did otherwise. She ached over how they darkened when she'd strip, parting her legs for you and putting herself on display. 

She was the art and you were the beholder. The only one she ever wanted to share herself with.

But now is a totally different time. You don't even so much as glance in her direction when she comes out, with her towel draped precariously around her body in a way that she was sure would drive you crazy.

It’s disheartening, but it doesn't make her want you any less. As she opens her bag and retrieves her clothes, slipping them on, she keeps an eye on you through the standing mirror in the corner of the room. 

Your legs spread as you readjust in the chair, making an attempt to rid your muscles of the tension within them. They're tight with the culmination of all the stress you've felt lately. 

When you allow your head to loll back, rolling from one side to the other, Jiu has to stop her wandering hands. The angle of the mirror allows her to see the way your brows knit together, pain and pleasure intermingling. She doesn't know how much longer she can stand this. 

One of your hands finds its way to your shoulder, rubbing a knot there, and Jiu gets an idea. Is it wise? Not in the slightest. But is she going to give in and go with it? Absolutely. 

What was it that Sua said earlier? This is a vacation for a reason. She can escape sound judgement and reason for now. Surely they'll return in full once you're out of the equation again, anyway.

She deserves to be a little reckless for once.

"Y/N," she calls, getting your attention. You wordlessly turn to look at her.

A bottle of lotion rests in her hands; she nervously toys with it.

"You can use some of this for your shoulders, if you want. It works pretty well." 

You consider her offer. "Thanks, but I'm alright," you declare, turning her down. "I can't reach what really hurts anyway." 

A beat passes before her eyebrows gently raise. "I can help you," she says, trying to keep the eager tone of her voice at bay. 

You pull a face. "Are you sure? You don't have to do that."

I want to, she thinks to herself.

"It's not a problem." She shakes her head, cementing her decision. "Just come here and lay down." 

You stand and relent with a soft noise of acceptance, almost imperceptibly. She takes notice of the way your eyes track down her body before dropping to the floor, lingering just a second too long for innocence. 

She dismisses the thought at once, not wanting to give herself hope.

When you cross in front of her and pause, though, slipping your shirt over your head with a subtle glance at her, it’s all she can do to restrain herself. The fading sunburn that you received earlier in the day, stretching across your nose and cheeks, looks like a natural blush from this close. 

She wants to kiss it.

“Thank you in advance,” you say over your shoulder, carefully laying down on your stomach. The fluffy comforter welcomes you in full, partially distracting and preventing you from overthinking what you’re about to experience.

She takes a steadying breath and releases it, glancing up at the ceiling like she’s pleading with a higher power. 

"Don't mention it," she dismisses, getting on the bed after you. 

In her mind, she debates the best way to go about this. Where should she sit? Overstepping the unspoken boundaries you've established isn't something she wants to do. 

Her fingertips play with the hook of your bra, sliding over the material. "Can I…" she trails off, both of you aware of what she's asking. 

"Go ahead," you permit.

She unclips the fastener and watches as the two sides fall down, fully exposing your back to her. Once you slip it off of your arms and toss it towards your suitcase, her fingertips ghost over your skin, tracing the gentle curve of your spine. 

She dons a musing smile when she notices goosebumps appearing in their wake. 

Perhaps she was wrong. Maybe all along, you've been the art and she the beholder. 

Her knees go to either side of your waist as she moves to straddle you, settling down onto you. Once she's sure you're comfortable, she retrieves the bottle of lotion from its place on the bed and squeezes some out onto her fingertips. 

It's smooth as it slides against them, medicated and cool. Her favorite brand makes it, and she never leaves the house without it. She'll be thanking her lucky stars endlessly for that habit after tonight.

Something crossed between a hiss and sigh fights past your lips when she makes contact for the first time, spreading the chilly cream across your shoulders. The attempt she made to warm it beforehand clearly didn't work as well as she thought, and she has to stifle a laugh at your reaction. 

Beneath her fingers, your muscles tense and jump; you do your best to relax them as she pushes harder, kneading them with care. She does so with a steady rhythm, using the base of her hands to loosen you up first before focusing her fingers on the more persistent knots. Every circle of her hands against you warms the lotion up more, convincing you to relax and give into the relief she’s able to provide.

You close your eyes, wanting to focus on her motions. 

What you failed to prepare yourself for, though, is the notion that she’s closer to you than ever. Only separated by the material of your shorts and hers, she sits atop you, her warm thighs trembling slightly with effort anytime she has to push herself up to reach you better. 

When she steadies herself on your lower back, splaying a hand across it, you can feel the subtle way her hips rut against your ass as she readjusts her position. 

Maybe you're just imagining it.

Serious work is put into leaving that idea behind, but at every opportunity she gets, Jiu seems to enjoy feeding your delusion. 

When she accidentally gets too much lotion at once, her solution comes in the form of leaning down and running her hands up your outstretched arms, reaching as far as she can to further spread it. In the process, her front presses against the length of your body; her breathing is shuddered, too, just like yours. 

Did she do that to show you it’s mutual?

If only you knew.

Her eager eyes rake over your body, pleased to have you like this in front of her. At her mercy, reacting to the faintest of touches. Possessing this kind of power again makes her feel brave in a dangerous way; should things continue like this unchecked, she might do something impulsive.

But, is she to be blamed? No; she rejects that. 

The subtle rock of your hips is far guiltier than her, adding fuel to the fire of her imagination. The way your hands fist in the sheets, fingers twisting in a show of pain and pleasure whenever she hits a particularly sensitive spot, are in the wrong; the sight makes her wonder, for a desperate second, how they would feel in her hair. 

Her motions – now more wanton, unafraid of touching you – grow a little more rough, shying away from demurity. They’ve arrived at your waist now; a risky place to be. 

She can tell that the appropriate amount of time for two exes to spend doing something like this is dwindling fast; the window of propriety will be closing soon, leaving any further contact between the two of you up for suspicion. She’s aware of that, and yet she has no desire to stop.

In this game of yours, she’s merely a pawn; that’s something she realizes when the sound of a guttural, appreciative moan from you makes her heart flutter wildly. 

She freezes in place, taking a cautious breath; she shouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as she did.

A few beats pass… one…. another…. before you ultimately take her stunned reaction as a sign of discomfort.

“Uh, thanks again,” you say quietly, suddenly feeling ten times too exposed and five hundred degrees too hot. A couple taps to her leg gives her the memo, and she climbs off of you.

Embarrassed and upset with yourself for doing such a thing, you refuse to even so much as make eye contact with her again. 

An apology from you fizzles into the air, but she’s still too overwhelmed to fully process what just transpired. It all happened too fast; she wants to go back and relive it, but it’s too late. You’re already slipping your shirt back on and burying yourself under the covers, humiliated. When you cover your face with the pillow, debating on smothering yourself, she spares you by reaching over and turning the lamp off. 

She lifts her side of the covers afterward, getting in beside you. You face away from one another, back to back, establishing distance once again.

This night is proving to be anything but predictable.

—

2:07 AM

Insects perform their songs outside, languidly calling to one another from high above – nestled in the leaves of the tree tops – and far below, amid the grassy trails and branching networks of hills. All is calm… until it isn’t.

Suddenly, the stillness of the night is interrupted by a recurring, unintelligible noise. 

The first time you hear it, you ignore it, opting instead to bury your head a little deeper into your pillow. It's probably just the house settling or something outside, you reason.

The second time, you're annoyed enough to pause your attempt at restful sleep with the hopes of discovering its source and stopping it.

It comes again a little later, but from somewhere you never would've expected. Rather, you suppose, someone.

Your name takes the shape of a mumble as it slips through Jiu's lips, altered slightly from how her cheek is pressed to her pillow. Any other time you might find it exciting to hear her say it, but here and now, you can't say you do. 

Warmth spreads to your cheeks as your sleepy mind recalls what happened just a few hours ago, making you relive your embarrassment.

The noise comes again, and a little louder this time; an irritated groan leaves you as you take one of the throw pillows and nudge her, attempting to quiet her. It seems to work for a minute, but just as you settle back down to rest again, something even worse happens.

"Y/N… ah," she moans, her voice breathy and ragged. 

Is she...?

Your eyes open wide when you realize what's taking place right beside you.

Jiu is totally having a sex dream about you.

What a revelation to have.

She writhes in search of relief, causing the covers to fall down her body and expose more of it. Her pajama top, too, has ridden up and ruffled in her pursuit of friction. 

She looks an absolute mess, you realize, as you roll over to look at her. Her hair splays across the pillow in every which way, her chest rises and falls at a faster rate than normal, and her thighs push together to lessen the throbbing between them. Your blood runs cold when you notice that she isn’t wearing her shorts anymore. Only a pair of lacy, white panties conceal her, gleaming in the moonlight with a softness that begs to be touched.

Hot and bothered is the only way to describe her.

"Please," she whines, desperation hanging heavy on the tones of her voice. 

Selfishly, you don’t wake her right away. Seeing her like this, so close and beautiful, is something you don’t want to give up again. At least not yet.

Her full lips part as her head pushes into the pillow, exposing her neck. Her muscles are pulled taut as she squirms; her hands fisted in the sheets at her sides. A thin sheen of sweat is visible on her forehead, showing just how affected she is. 

Maybe you should play nice and put an end to her suffering…

Her hips begin to rock, slowly at first; the motion draws a soft sigh from her as she finally gets some relief. Your body begs you to touch her in some way, feeling your own desire grow at the sight of her. 

Unconsciously – and to prevent you from reaching out to her – your fingers thread themselves in the cover that's thrown haphazardly over you. You bite your lip to keep it busy; otherwise you'd be tempted to wake her up with your mouth, as she's asked you to before.

Only when your own arousal becomes too much to bear do you decide to end this little game. 

She whimpers when you move in closer, still a world away. Her hand falls on your thigh, however, making you falter for a moment. It's warm and dangerously close to your center, trembling slightly against you. Her nails threaten to leave indentations, should she flex her fingers the right way.

Unable to deny yourself such a simple pleasure, you allow it to stay where it is. 

"Jiu." 

She doesn't stir. If anything, the sound of your voice only drags her further under. Her breath hitches in time with another stutter of her hips.

You'll have to try harder.

“Jiu, wake up,” you whisper, leaving a kiss on her cheek. Your lips hover nearby to utter her name again, should they need to.

Gently, you bring a hand to her shoulder and shake it, hoping to coax her out of her dream and back to reality. After a moment, your plan works; her eyes open gingerly, blinking a few times to adjust from her daze. 

“Y/N?” Confusion is prevalent in her voice, coupled with her drowsiness. It’s cute, really, and it takes you back to all the mornings you would wake up by her side. 

“It’s me; I'm here,” you reassure her, moving your hand to her hip. Now with your arm stretched across her body, you can feel the warmth radiating from her. It starkly contrasts with the chilly air of the room, making you want to hide away under the covers and pull her in close. 

But, of course, you refrain. That’s not something you can do anymore.

Her dark eyes shine in what little light the room has to offer, gazing up at you with a sweet innocence that you find endearing. She's vulnerable in this state, and yet by the way she shifts closer in your arms, she makes it known that she trusts you. 

You watch as her gaze travels down your arm, towards where your hand still rests against her hip. Momentarily, she looks as if she's questioning something within her mind – attempting to piece something together. 

"Y/N, did we…?" She trails off, unsure. 

"Did we what?" You push, testing the waters. You have an idea of what she wants to know, but hearing her say it would be so much better. 

Surprisingly, she puts her hand over yours, keeping it in place. 

"Did we have sex?" The question comes out in a husky whisper as she makes an effort to be quiet.

You shake your head in reply as a slightly humored smile works its way onto your lips. 

The movement draws her attention to them; they're a beautiful shade, with the moonlight hitting them just right. She can't find it in herself to look away. 

A few seconds pass before you speak again; her hand grips yours a little tighter. 

"It was just a dream. You–"

Your explanation is cut short by her lips as they press to your own in a swift kiss. 

Reckless. 

You pull away at once, almost like you've been burned. Why would she do that? 

Both of you pause, regarding one another. Your eyes work hard to decipher her intentions – what she wants – through the darkness of the room, as if they have such a gift. Hers do the same, searching your face for the answer she wants.

She gets it in another form, however, as your hand slides higher on her waist. Her heart lurches in her chest, its rate increasing somehow. Part of her is afraid you can feel it; but, truthfully, that's exactly what she wants. If you could feel how badly she needs you in this moment, maybe you'd show some mercy and help her. 

Maybe.

Tension hangs heavy in the air of the room as she slips her hand higher, too, moving it between your thighs. The heat that's come to pool there encourages her, compelling her to cup you through your clothes. 

You gasp, earning a smile from her. You clearly aren't as over her as you pretend to be. 

Empowered, she rolls you over, trading your positions. Now she hovers over you as you lie on your back, waiting with bated breath to see what she'll do. 

Her hand slides up and over the waistband of your shorts slowly, edging closer and closer to your center with only your panties separating her from you. Your eyes flutter closed in response.

"I'm going to kiss you again," she whispers, sounding more confident than ever. "If you want me to stop, tell me. Okay?" 

You nod, trying to stay still. Fighting the urge to rock your hips into her hand is easier said than done.

She leans into you, letting her body mold into yours as she shuffles closer. She replaces the hand between your thighs with a leg, giving you something to grind against. You thank her by slipping your hands beneath her top and pulling it over her head.

"Beautiful," you whisper against her lips, as she presses them to yours again. You take her into your arms in a safe embrace, sighing into her mouth when her bare chest rubs against you. The thin material of your shirt does little to obstruct the feeling. 

Though the shadows hide it, a deep, crimson blush warms her cheeks. She can taste the cinnamon toothpaste that you used earlier and smell the familiar scent of your hair products. You still use the same ones, she realizes. 

Her leg flexes instinctively as you cup her cheek and deepen the kiss, tilting your head to the side. As you raise your hips to meet hers, she slides a hand up to your chest to offer it some attention. A pitiful noise leaves you when she makes contact, cupping your breasts. She pulls away from your lips to admire you, wanting to see the effect she has.

“Such a pretty thing,” she compliments, feeling arrogant when you bite your lip to stifle a moan. She toys with you like a plaything, switching her movements every so often to garner different reactions. You’re restoring her confidence without even trying; such sweet oblivion.

What she doesn’t fully grasp in the moment, though, is that your arrangement is very much so a two way street. You demonstrate the power you still have over her as you take hold of her hips, pulling them down as you thrust up to meet them. 

Just as her thigh is between your legs, so is yours between hers; the mutual relief you receive at the motion entices you, making you repeat it.

She curses into your ear, the sound so full of raw desire that you nearly lose all sense of reason right then and there. Her head falls against your shoulder in ecstasy as she revels a little longer, enjoying the heat that spreads throughout her body the more you touch her.

It’s just like it used to be in so many ways, but somehow new. Still exciting. Still everything she hoped for.

Her lips find their way to your cheek in the darkness, leaving a trail of kisses downward, along your jawline and neck. They’re desperate and needy, accompanied by her shuddered breaths as she attempts to convey everything you’re making her feel. She can only cross her fingers and hope that it’s mutual.

“Come here,” you instruct, tapping her leg. She understands in an instant, wordlessly repositioning herself so that she’s straddling your waist now. The new angle is even more comfortable, and she sits back to give you a better look at her body as a way of expressing her gratitude. Her perky breasts are on full display, looking absolutely divine above the lines of her abs. You run a finger over the latter, tracing the hard-earned muscles in admiration. 

Subtly, her hips begin to gyrate. She wants the movement to be tortuous, starting slow and building up until you can’t take it anymore. It’s only fair to give you a taste of your own medicine after all this time. 

“Shit, Jiu,” you exhale, glancing down to where you’re joined. Her panties glisten as she writhes, displaying the wet spot that you’ve caused; when her grinding becomes a little sloppier, you can feel her slick spread to your abdomen. 

"You like that, baby?" She muses, breathing heavy. You nod vehemently, not quite trusting your voice enough to speak yet. 

You splay a hand across her pelvis, using your thumb to tease her clit. 

She shakes as a surprised, broken moan slips out of her mouth. It’s louder than either of you expected it to be, and you find yourselves wanting to laugh for a moment.

“Play fair,” she warns, glaring at you. “...unless you want to wake everyone in the house up?” It’s posed as a question rather than a statement. 

“I wouldn’t be–” you pause, exhaling when she presses into you a little harder, cocking a brow, “...opposed to that, necessarily.” 

A sexy smile plays on her lips, making them look more kissable than ever. “No?” Something dangerous shines in her eyes.

“Try me.”

She bites her lip, weighing her options. You asked for it.

Her voice is whiny when she speaks again, and about five times louder than necessary at that. “I need you, Y/N. Please…” her hands thread into her hair exaggeratedly, playing into the show she’s giving. “Fuck me–”

You sit up at once, clasping a hand over her mouth and using the length of your body to push her backwards and pin her down against the bed. Adrenaline surges through your veins as you remain deathly still for a few tense seconds, trying to make sure her little stunt didn’t actually wake anybody up. 

You didn’t really think she’d do it.

The sound of distant footsteps fills the hall, a series of padding and waiting, before the latch of a bedroom door clicks. The floorboards creak… someone's weight shifting from one foot to the other as they peek into the hall. 

Jiu smiles against your palm, feeling every thump of your nervous heart. 

When she wraps her legs around your waist and slips a hand between your bodies, your eyes screw tightly shut. 

"Stop," you whisper, the noise like harsh wind on a calm night. 

Her wanting eyes peer up at you, observing. The situation is delicate, so that's exactly how she'll treat it. 

Slowly, she places her free hand beside her head on the bed and glances at it, inviting you to hold it. Upon hesitantly removing your own from her mouth, you thread your fingers with hers as you pin it down.

Innocently, she kisses your neck again, just above your pulse point. Her warm breath tickles your skin, only further stirring the fire within you. 

"Do you really want me to?" She asks, voice sinful and rich. Her lips still, full and tempting, awaiting your answer.

Another door opens somewhere else in the house, followed by heavy footsteps. Someone trekking to the kitchen, it seems. Your mouth runs dry.

Her fingers toy with the hem of your shorts, edging them down little by little. "Say it again and I will," she promises. "Tell me you don't want me and I'll stop." 

You sigh as she pulls your panties to the side, finally slipping her hand past the material. She finds your clit easily, with no real effort necessary; she knows your body now just the same as she did before. 

"I…" you start, fighting back a stutter. Two of her fingers dip down to your entrance, gathering up some of your wetness. "...I can't." 

"You can't what, Y/N?" She moves her fingers left and right, teasing. 

"I can't say I don't want you," you groan, annoyance bubbling up within you. 

"Why not?" You can tell she's smirking just by the sound of her voice. 

"Because I'm sick of lying," you admit. "I've always wanted you." 

Her cocky attitude falters. 

A beat passes.

All footsteps outside retreat back into their respective rooms, and closing doors resound shortly after. 

Effectively, the two of you are alone again.

Silence prevails following your confession – an eternal moment unbroken by any words of reciprocation from her. It lends your mind to chaos, filling it with worry.

You shouldn't have said anything. This was a mistake. 

Embarrassed, you sit up and remove yourself from Jiu, moving towards the edge of the bed. She reaches out for you, though you don't see it. 

"I'm sorry," your head shakes, discontent. "I shouldn't have–"

"Shush," she commands, surprising you. She refuses to let this end like before, with you retreating and shutting her out.

Your eyebrows raise as you turn to look at her; she still lays where you left her, only now she's propped up on her elbows. 

"Don't say you regret it. Please." Her voice sounds small. 

"But I thought…" 

Her eyes remain on you as she sits up, carefully moving to sit next to you on her knees. 

"I never stopped either, Y/N. I just couldn't believe you've felt the same all this time." She explains, not wanting you to misinterpret her silence any longer. 

Your fingers toy at your thighs, still jittery with nerves. She notices, and lays a comforting hand on top of them.

"I've missed you," she adds. Softly, quietly. So as to not disturb this process. Together, you're beginning to pick up the pieces of what you let slip through your fingers before. 

"Me too," you reassure her, bringing a hand up to caress her cheek. She leans into your touch, letting her eyes fall shut. 

The walls she so adamantly built around her heart are lowering, little by little, and the notion scares her. If she gives herself to you tonight and you end up walking away, she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to recover. 

“I’ve got you." The phrase sounds like a promise from your heart to hers; it’s as if you read her mind. “I won’t let things get in the way like before.”

She looks at you again, peeking her eyes open. The earnest look on your face is sincere enough to convince her of anything. “I’ll spend however long it takes proving it to you, Jiu.”

Her eyes shine with unshed tears. “I believe that.”

“Good,” you say, releasing a small breath of anticipation you hadn’t realized you were holding in.

She squeezes your hand three times, reminding you of the past. 

Nostalgia befalls you, both in good ways and bad. So much regret exists between the two of you, centering around the breakup that neither of you really wanted in the first place. Life got in the way, then, and you were both too naive to fight against what you thought were fate’s currents. 

It was decided that if you couldn’t be together, you’d have to settle for the ghost of one another. 

Jiu found you in midnight moonlight, shining brightly amid the darkest of hours. You ruled from high above, with your impact spanning further than you ever realized. 

She found you in the sound of laughter – the kind that starts by surprise, bubbling up from within and spilling out in a way that couldn’t not be contagious. The kind that everyone appreciates when they tell a joke with their fingers crossed, hoping it lands. 

In warm tea and fireside reading you resided; a comforting hug on winter’s coldest day.

But traces of you were left behind in unwanted places, too, like fingerprints on a window. No matter how many cycles of washing and drying her sheets went through, they still smelled like you. 

Her skin still remembered the way you touched her, igniting a fire that only you could put out. Her lips remembered your taste, knowing nothing could compare. She tried, for a time, to replace the imprints you left behind; but her efforts were in vain. 

You were her mirage in the desert; a distant, elusive dream. Glimmering with untapped potential, waiting to be caught. She ebbed, you flowed. That’s how you would be, then and forever.

Or so she thought.

Had she known that she was the Sun to you, perhaps her hope would’ve been restored. 

Or maybe she would have laughed, knowing that you found her in the strangest of places. Like seatbelts, for instance, and napkins; always necessary, and always staving off the bad that the world had to offer. 

She was the chilly blast of air provided by the AC on summer’s most humid day, greeting you at the door of every shop you entered. 

She was the sleepy delirium you slipped into on your days off, all pleasant dreams and comfortable positions.

The flowers and blossoms of the world were all her kisses, like a goddess’s gift to the Earth. Elegant, sweet, perfect. Being showered in them was a good luck charm; they rode the air currents on spring days, fluttering greetings on their way.

Coming home. To you, that was her. The familiarity of the floorboards, knowing where to step to avoid them creaking; the refrigerator light against a pitch-black kitchen, its crescent shape holding the darkness at bay; the support of your bed, offering relief to the parts of you that needed it most.

Truth be told, both of you found each other in everything. Bits and pieces, all fragments far too small to equate to the immensity of what you shared. Glimpses would never do in the long run, and you knew that. But what else were you to do?

Perhaps that silent hope that you held out, all daydreams and utterances of what if, swayed the universe into this. Into giving you an in; an opportunity to right your wrongs. A chance to hold tighter, this time, and accept trials and tribulations as signs of growth to be handled together – not reasons to give up. 

You feel yourself smiling before you realize you’re even doing it. Her presence has a whole new meaning now, a whole slew of possible outcomes. Wherever the two of you decide to take things is up to you again; there’s nothing holding you back anymore. 

She brings a hand up to your cheek, brushing her thumb across your soft skin. Even just holding you like this, so simply, is something she’s been longing for. Since the day you walked into her life, you’ve ruled her world without even knowing it. Sweet oblivion, yet again.

“Kiss me,” she says, after a moment. It draws you from the hold of her spell, bringing you back down to Earth. 

You obey with a smile, but just before your lips meet hers, she stops you. She didn’t mean there.

“Here,” she corrects, as her hand guides yours back between her thighs. She’s wetter now than she was before, somehow, and you moan against her at the feeling. She muffles the noise with a kiss of her own, knowing how badly you need it. 

She bites your lip as she pulls away. “We’re not leaving this bed until you’ve made up for every night we’ve been apart. Do you understand me?”

You sigh, half-amused. “I’m fairly certain that the group is going hiking in the morning,” you inform, “...so I think it’s important that you’re still able to walk for that.”

“Who says we have to join them?” She raises a brow, pushing you down onto the bed and moving to straddle you again. 

You pull a face, feigning concern. “You wouldn’t want to be improper, now would you?” 

Her shoulders rise and fall in a shrug, accepting no blame. “What happens is up to you. Take me now or forever hold your peace.” She declares it proudly, posing herself before you. 

The view of her on top of you – nearly naked, her body humming with want, waiting for your touch – dispels any and all remnants of humor. Your shared desire wins out, filling the air of the room; she’s aware of her power over you, but she’d be a liar to act as if watching your eyes darken didn’t make her stomach flip just like it did the first time you ever took her. 

With a hushed curse, you capture her lips in a searing kiss. She gasps into it when you roughly pull her panties down, showing little care in being gentle now. Her response comes in a similar form, with her hastily tugging your shirt over your head; once you’re exposed to her, she can’t help but stare. She admires every curve like it’s the first time she’s seen it; every line like it’s her last. It’s adoration and desperation, all at once; appreciating it all is important to her, but so too is relearning it. 

Luckily for you, she happens to be best at a hands-on approach.

Her nails drag across your abdomen on their way downward, leaving faint marks on your sensitive skin; she can’t wait to see how many she can leave on you. It’s always been one of her favorite things to do.

In one fluid motion you flip her over, cradling her close in the process. Her hands cup your cheeks as she kisses you, and you hurriedly remove any remaining clothes from your bodies. 

She spreads her legs for you as you begin to slide down her body, leaving one final kiss to her lips. 

Her hands hold your hair up as you explore her abdomen, painting her fair skin with an array of love bites. Her nails dig into your scalp when her impatience hits a high, making you smile against her despite the sting. 

She hums appreciatively when you finally slide your hand down, ready to prepare her for what she wants most. She’s absolutely soaked, and by the whine that she lets out when you press your palm to her clit, it’s safe to say that she’ll only get worse. The bed sheets below her have already received some of her slick, proudly displaying a wet spot for you to bear witness to. 

“Enough teasing, jagi,” she groans, breathless and tired of your games. With shut eyes and furrowed brows, she pushes her head back into her pillow and takes up the writhing again that she had become so good at earlier. Her hands fall to your shoulders, pushing you down further.

You settle her thighs on your shoulders, basking in how smooth and warm they are around you. She’s perfection in human form; divinity personified.

“Keep it down, Jiu,” you command, taking control. “If you pull another stunt like earlier, I’m stopping altogether.”

She nods feverishly, lacking the desire to be a brat anymore. If playing nice is what it takes to have you, then so be it. That promise of release is finally back again, after all this time, and she can let herself get lost in you. 

These four walls – what she once loathed – are creating an oasis.

Her personal utopia.

—

The Next Morning

Overzealous birds work as your alarm clock of sorts, claiming the prize of waking you up. You blink the sleep from your eyes and stretch, feeling a pleasant soreness in parts of your body it hadn’t been before last night. The ache reminds you of everything you did just a few hours ago, and you find yourself smiling like an idiot as you roll over to greet the resident sadist next to you.

When your hand meets the cold, empty expanse of the bed instead, your expression sours.

The bedside table is void of any note or message, too, you discover, though your phone sits atop it, charging. At some point this morning she must’ve plugged it in for you. Sweet, but not enough. You wanted to wake up in her arms, or at the very least next to her. 

Grumbling, you sit up and head to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

You have no idea what the day will hold for the two of you.

–

Clean and dressed, you take a seat on the bed. Your fingertips mindlessly press to the hickey on your neck – one of the many, many that you discovered as you got ready – rubbing patterns against the abused skin there.

You unplug your phone and turn it on, mentally crossing your fingers as you scan through your message notifications for her name. 

Your pursuit proves fruitless. Not even a text.

You huff like a child, rolling your eyes. So much for a vacation; now you’re stressed all over again. 

When staring a hole into your phone doesn’t result in her notification magically popping up, you decide to give it a rest.

Standing up, you slip it into your back pocket and head for the door, ready to track Y/BFFs/N down and tell her everything.

However those plans, too, come to a screeching halt right before your eyes as you swing the door open to reveal a shocked Jiu. Your timing truly is impeccable.

“AHHH!” She shrieks, frightened. 

She hastily scrambles to keep the large tray in her hands upright and off of the floor. 

Spilling the spread of foods she just finished preparing for the two of you doesn’t sound too appealing to her, after all.

Immediately, you spring into action and successfully help steady it. Some fruits fell out of their separate containers and a bit of milk spilled over the side of its jar, but all of that is easily fixable. Jiu releases a tense breath as she realizes that the worst case scenario was avoided, but she glares at you as she pushes her way into the room.

“Pabo,” she mutters, striding over to the bed. The slight limp in her step makes you smile inwardly, proud of yourself.

Once the food is safely laid down and she cleans up what spilled, she turns to look at you. 

“Sorry,” you mitigate, grimacing. When you approach her and look at everything she put together, your annoyance from before gives way to guilt. A plethora of your favorite foods decorates the tray, assembled with love.

She regards you for a moment, pretending to be angry. When her eyes land on one of the darkening marks on your neck, pleased mischief comes to gleam in them.

“You’re lucky I like you,” she threatens, pointing a finger at you.

Playfully, you bite the tip of it. 

“I’m aware, jagi.”

Cautiously, you ease your arms around her waist, ready to pull away if need be. Although her lips still rest in an unamused pout, she doesn’t stop you. 

The jackhammering of her heart has eased now, and you can feel its pace returning to normal as you draw her into your arms. She loops hers around your neck and sweetly presses her cheek to yours, content with staying like that for a bit.

You sway gently, rocking from side to side. This definitely makes up for the rude awakening you received earlier.

Once you’re satisfied, you pull away enough to look at her. Your fingertips brush a few stray strands of hair out of her face, tucking them behind her ear. She leans in, finally kissing you good morning.

“Ready to eat?”

Your lips purse in mock contemplation as you scan the food again. 

"Mmm, five more minutes?" You suggest, leaning forward to kiss her again. She laughs into the embrace lightly, returning the gesture. 

Her lips taste of the strawberries and cherries that she stole bites of earlier, as she cooked. It's addicting, you find, when she deepens the kiss and wraps herself around you, melting into your arms. You hold her close, just like she wants. 

"Does this mean…" she mumbles between kisses, "we're still gonna room together?" 

You pause to laugh. "Yeah, jagi. We're still roommates. No getting rid of me now." 

She replaces her lips on yours, kissing them again and again as you attempt to control the growing smile on your face. She sweetly cups your cheeks, rubbing her thumbs across them as you continue.

Abruptly, jarring clapping resounds from the doorway. Fake sniffling can also be heard, and so the two of you look up to investigate. 

It's none other than Sua and Y/BFFs/N, standing side by side with their hands clasped tightly together like proud parents. 

"I told you it would happen," Sua wails, dabbing fake tears from the corner of her eye. Y/BFFs/N agrees, nodding enthusiastically. 

“Mission accomplished,” she quips, looking straight at you. 

It seems as though they had been playing Cupid all along…

Sneaky.

“fuck you seo changbin. you left me months ago and now you’re back to tell me you love me?”

his head slowly nods and you can’t help but scoff in his face.

“you look and sound pathetic. you think after all that pain, i’m just going to take you back?”

“of course not. i know i hurt you but i just thought you sound know.”

“honestly, i was better off not knowing...”

Kiss Me Better | JJK

excerpt | jungkook said some really mean things to you when you started coming home so late. when he realizes how horrible he was, he tried making it up to you.

genre | angst, fluff, hurt /comfort

pairing | jeon jungkook x fem!reader

warnings | strong language, unintentional manhandle, jk being a jerk in the beginning, reader puts him in his place, lots of crying, hating oneself

wc | 4k+

notes | i tried my best to make something emotional, and i'm hoping it turned out well :)

It was around ten at night and you still weren't home. This has been going on for about a week now, and Jungkook is tired of it. He wanted answers as to why you were always late.

He was sitting in the living room with his legs bouncing, waiting for you to come home. He was anxious to thrust this issue onto you, but he felt like you were neglecting him; that maybe you might be cheating. Jungkook was never one to judge your faithfulness, but ever since you started coming home late every possible idea started popping up in his head. And when he tried talking to you about it, you would wave him off saying that you're tired.

Jungkook heard the familiar car beep. He got up instantly and trudged his way near the end of the entryway. He saw the doorknob twist open to reveal the fatigued woman he called "his". He watched you take off your shoes and place them on the shoe rack, throwing your work purse on the entryway table. It wasn't until you were steps away that you noticed your lover at the end of the hall.

Your body perked up at the sight of your boyfriend. You dragged your feet to Jungkook and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Hey, baby." But before Jungkook had time to greet you back, you were already sprawled out on the couch. Jungkook made a face of disdain to himself; how could you treat him like this. He felt hurt by your action. He took a minute to compose himself; he didn't want to confront you with rage coursing through his body.

Once he was calm, Jungkook made a beeline to you. He saw that your eyes were already closed; you looked very exhausted. He wanted to leave you alone, that he will have this conversation with you some other time, but he thought against it. Jungkook cleared his throat, making you open your eyes. You did a light stretch on the couch. "What is it, babe?" Jungkook took a shape inhale, "I want to talk to you."

You instantly sat up. In your four years of dating, Jungkook rarely says the words "I want to talk to you.", every time they get spoken, they would usually lead to arguments. Your attention was wide awake; you were getting nervous about what this conversation might lead to. "What is it, Jungkook?"

Jungkook clenched his jaw, tightening his facial muscles. With gritted teeth, Jungkook seethed, "I want to know why you've been coming home so late now?" You were shocked, to say the least. You knew that coming home so late would bring suspicion to your boyfriend, but you didn't think that he would be this angry.

"Umm... I..." You didn't know what to say to him. You wanted to tell him the reason, but you didn't want to ruin the surprise. Jungkook didn't like the fact that you were hesitating. You were always honest with him, never afraid to be blunt. "Why the hell are you hesitating, ____? You're fucking some other man, aren't you?" he yelled.

Your body jolted at his interrogation. His words were harsh, sending goosebumps through your body. You didn't like his assumption of you cheating. You stood up and questioned, "You think I'm cheating on you?" Your voice was laced with warning; warning that if he thought that way of you, you wouldn't be afraid to stand your ground.

One thing that Jungkook would never admit, is that every time you gave him this certain type of tone, he feels like being buried six feet under. Jungkook gulped down some spit that he didn't know was being harbored. "I don't know. You could be." You scoffed at his words, "Fuck you. I don't have time for this. I'm going to bed." You turned your body in the direction of the bedroom.

As you started walking, you heard Jungkook hysterically laughing. He growled, "Fuck me? No, fuck you, ____!" Before you halted your movement, Jungkook stomped his way to you and tightly latched his hand to your wrist, pulling you towards him. You yelped at the sudden action, pain taking hold of your arm. Jungkook immediately lets go. He was about to apologize, but you beat the gun.

You pushed him to the carpeted floor, holding your wrist to your heart. Tears started welling up. Never in a million years did you think Jungkook would say those things to you. The physical pain could not compare to the pain you were feeling emotionally. You cried out to him, "You wanna know why I've been coming home so late? You wanna know why I'm always so tired?" At this point, your tears were freely flowing. Jungkook was on the floor, not moving an inch, but he so badly wanted to wipe your tears away.

You bellowed, "It's not because I'm fucking some other man, Jungkook! It's because I took in overtime at work! I took in some extra hours to earn more money for our trip!" Jungkook was stunned at your confession. Shame taking its place in his heart. How could he accuse you of cheating? How could he say those hurtful things to you?

You softly added, "Do you remember two weeks ago, when we were talking about our parents? You had missed yours so badly because you hadn't seen them in months. You wanted to go visit them, but we didn't have the money." Jungkook started crying; he was starting to realize your reason. You faced the other way, not wanting to see Jungkook cry. You knew if you did, you would fall prey to him. He hurt you, and you didn't want to fall so easily.

Jungkook cried harder, and hearing him, so did you. You tried containing any sound leaving your mouth, coming out muffled. You sniffled, "I wanted to surprise you this Sunday. I was going to buy the tickets and book the hotel room tomorrow. I didn't want to tell you this way." Jungkook was biting his lips so hard when you were talking; he almost drew blood. When he felt your presence fading, he shot up and gently looped his arms around your torso.

He cried to you, tears falling on your shoulders, making your shirt damp. "Baby, I'm so-" You intervened, "Stop." You unhooked his arms apart. "Just stop, Jungkook. I'm tired." Jungkook shook his head vigorously. He wanted you to know how shameful he feels; apologize until you're tired of hearing it. "____, please. I'm so sorry."

You whipped your body around, facing him. You demanded, "Shut up, Jungkook! I said I'm tired, okay? We'll talk about this later." And after your ending sentence, you marched your way to the bedroom, not giving Jungkook a second to respond.

You plopped yourself on the shared bed, taking off your clothing, only leaving you in your underwear. You would've loved to have Jungkook wrap his arms around you while you went to sleep, but right now you just wanted to be alone. It only took a few minutes for your tears to start flowing again, and this time you didn't stop them. You let the tears, the darkness, and the warmth of the blanket lull you to sleep.

Jungkook on the other hand, was sitting on the couch pondering about his actions - his words. He hated himself for what he did. The way he talked to you, the way he gripped your wrist with so much force, the way he doubted your faithfulness; accused you of cheating. You are everything to him. He would move hell and heaven if you demanded it. You could say the vilest insult to him, throw your hardest punch and he'll still run back to you. He would do anything and everything just for you, but at the moment he didn't deserve you. You were the light of his life, but he knew that tonight he had dimmed you.

You woke up with the biggest headache. You haven't felt like this in years, so emotionally drained. The last time was when you had officially cut off ties with your mother. She never really approved of Jungkook, always calling him a bad influence. She was the type of person to judge the exterior before knowing what was on the inside. Hating Jungkook is an understatement, she loathed him.

You love your mother, but all the things she said about Jungkook stirred you away from appreciating her presence. He didn't want you to cut communications with her, but it was not only for him but for your sanity. The longer you kept in contact, the more you'll start going crazy about her foolish assumptions about your boyfriend. It was hard cutting her off, but it was definitely needed.

You rolled off of the bed, not caring that you were basically nude. You stumbled your way to the door, wanting to go to the bathroom. When you opened the door, you found Jungkook laying right against the beige wall. His appearance was rugged. His hair sticking up from every angle, and the faint smell of beer, he was still wearing the same clothes from last night.

Your heart tingled at the feeling that Jungkook must have stayed out here for you, wanting to be close to you, but also giving you your space. But then the reoccurring memory from last night punched its way through your brain. You slammed the door, stirring Jungkook awake. For a split second, Jungkook thought lighting came striking down to their house. His body jumped from the sudden bang, hitting his head against the wall in the process. He rubbed the sore area, hoping the action would ease the pain.

He didn't know what happened. He looked around the area for anything that might have caused the loud sound. But then he heard shuffling on the other side of the door. Jungkook got up without a second thought and was about to knock. His fist hovered the wooden entrance. He wanted to knock, but he was scared. After everything that he had done, he was worried that you wouldn't want to see him again.

Moments go by until Jungkook finally knocked on the door. "Baby?" he softly said. "Baby, can I come in?" He waited for your response, but all that answered him was silence. He clenched and unclenched his fists. Jungkook has never felt this nervous. He took a deep breath, "I'm gonna come in, ____. Okay?" He tapped his fingers against his thigh a few times, trying to calm the bundle of nerves. With one more deep breath, Jungkook carefully opened the bedroom door.

In his line of sight, Jungkook saw you curled up in the bed, the blanket hugging your body for security. He saw the throw pillows along with your clothes scattered across the floor; the whole atmosphere was messy. You were always the clean one in the relationship, so the fact that you couldn't care for the unkempt room made Jungkook more nervous than he already was.

Jungkook tried navigating his way to you, but he still wound up stepping on your clothes. When he got to you, he sat on the edge of the bed next to you silently. None of you guys peeped a word; the air was tense. You wanted to speak to him first, to yell at him for his absurdity, but you're also stubborn. So, you waited for Jungkook to talk first. Jungkook knew how you were; he knew that you were itching to say something first, but you were headstrong on finishing last.

He took it in himself to speak first. "____, I want to tell you how incredibly sorry I am, and that I regret everything that I had said." He looked at your covered figure with much sorrow. He wanted to see your beautiful face, even if you were to give him the most angered look. "Baby, can you please look at me?" You meekly spoke, "No."

A few tears threatened to escape his eyes. Jungkook took a deep breath and brought out his hand to cup your face. He slowly turned your head to face him, and you made no retaliation to his actions. Your face showed no emotion, but Jungkook saw the pain swimming in your eyes. He hurt you deeply, and he hurt you hard. "Please, know how sorry I am."

You took his hand away from your face. You rolled your eyes; you were tired of hearing it. "I know how sorry you are, Jungkook. I can see from your body language, your facial expression. I can hear it in your voice, okay? I know... So, please stop saying it." He nodded his head, understanding what you were saying. "I'm sor-"

"Jungkook!" you warned. "If all you're going to do is say sorry, then leave me alone." You went back to your previous position, trying to ignore your boyfriend's presence. He definitely knows how to push your buttons. Jungkook didn't want to leave this situation alone like this; he wanted to make it better. So, he said the first thing that came to mind, "Tell me where I hurt you, and I'll kiss it better."

You jested his words, "Kiss it better? Seriously?" Jungkook couldn't see your face, but by the tone of your words, he knew that the idea was stupid. But stupid or not Jungkook wanted to make you feel better. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Yeah. It can be a start, right?" You took a minute to reel in the idea. It could maybe be a start.

You clicked your tongue and brought your wrist to his face. Without facing Jungkook, you demanded, "It didn't bruise, but you really hurt me here. So... kiss it." Jungkook gave a tiny smile; he was happy that you were open to his idea. He carefully grabbed your arm, making sure to not touch the area he has hurt you. Jungkook's soft touch sent small currents through your body. He brought your pained wrist to his lips and placed small but mellow kisses on them. Afterward, Jungkook rubbed the area with his thumb, hoping that it would soothe the pain.

He docile his voice, "Where else?" You were thinking of a place where he should kiss next, and during that time you positioned your body forward. Jungkook watched you readjust your body; you had looked so cute to him.

You looked at Jungkook with a stern expression, and said, "My ears, from hearing you talk shit to me." Jungkook invisibly flinched at your words, but a slight hint of grimace surfaced. He bent down to you and positioned his lips to your ear. He gave you a kiss, and the small smack of the contact rang. With his lips pressed against your ear, Jungkook quietly spoke, "Tell me more, baby. Where else are you hurt?" His breath shadowed your skin, leaving you dumb.

When you stayed quiet, Jungkook got a little concerned. He lifted his head up, his face inches away from yours. "Baby?" You saw the worriedness etched into his face, creating crease lines on his skin. He placed his forehead on yours and stared deeply into your eyes. He could still see that you were angry, but slowly he saw a bit of softness take place. You didn't want to admit that your boyfriend's idea was proving right, but his gentle kisses were so hard to ignore. It's like Jungkook has this magic spell where you could never say no.

You gulped down some spit, you didn't want to choke when you talked. "My eyes. You made them painstakingly teary." You had closed your eyes for Jungkook to kiss. He took a second to stare at them. Even with your eyes closed, you could still make out the redness around them. The more he looked, the more Jungkook hated himself for your pain. With each kiss of your eyelids, Jungkook had closed his, projecting his pain to himself.

When it was done, Jungkook remorsefully uttered, "____ - baby... I'm so sorry. Ev-" You interjected, "I have one more place that I want you to kiss better." Jungkook replied, "Of course. I'll kiss wherever you want." You slightly sat up; your upper back pressed against the headboard of your guy's bed. You choked, "Kiss my heart. Out of all the places you have hurt me, my heart hurts the most." You didn't want to sound choked, but you couldn't help it. "Please, kiss me better, Jungkook." you cried.

Jungkook's heart panged harshly at your pained confession. He started crying; his heart broke into a million pieces. The one place where he vowed to not hurt at the start of your guy's relationship, he did. You tried watching your boyfriend intensely, but your tears were blurring your vision.

Jungkook moved his hand to the blanket that was still covering you. It slid down and your breast was fully seen. Usually, Jungkook would be surprised at your nudity when he wasn't expecting it, but right now, all that Jungkook could see - could focus on was the area that your heart resided in. He looped one arm around your bare torso, gently pulling you towards him, and the other rested along your back.

He kissed your heart with so much tenderness. He cried while doing so, his tears falling on your bare skin. You couldn't stop the waterworks once his soft lips landed on you. Jungkook kept kissing you, hoping that each kiss took away the pain he had caused, but the more he did the more you cried. He had hurt you too much that even the kisses couldn't heal you.

Jungkook moved his head away from your chest and fully grabbed you. He hugged you tightly, just letting you cry your pain out to him. He didn't know what to say, all he could really do was comfort you. Jungkook placed one of his hands on your nape, while the other did long comforting strokes on your back. You heard Jungkook trying to shush you, not in a mean way, but to relax you, but it didn't work.

What felt like hours were only minutes, you had finally calmed down. You pulled away from Jungkook. You spotted a big wet mark on his shirt. You apologized profusely for making his shirt dirty. Jungkook only laughed; he didn't care that your snot and tears - possibly your saliva were on his shirt, hell, he wouldn't care if you even threw up on him. All that he cared about right now was how you were feeling.

You were about to wipe your face on your arm, but you didn't have a shirt on. "I'm sorry, I look horrible right now." Jungkook shook his head at your words. "You don't have to be sorry. You don't look horrible right now. To me, you look beautifully messy." You blushed at his compliment. "Yeah, but I still have snot and tears all over my face."

Jungkook sarcastically rolled his eyes. He jumped off of the bed and stood in front of you. He bundled his shirt up to his chest and carefully pulled you towards him. You were confused at first, but then you realized he was going to wipe your face with his shirt - like a mother. When he did, Jungkook shrugged, "It's already dirty, so, don't worry about it. Plus, nothing like a few more bodily fluids, right?" You felt like laughing at his rhetorical question, but all you could feel was the guilt for ruining your boyfriend's shirt.

Jungkook chucked his dirty shirt on the messy floor and climbed into bed with you. He hesitated on pulling you close to him; he didn't want to push any boundaries you might have set on him. "Is it okay if I hold you?" Instead of answering his question, you pulled him towards you. You buried your face in his chest. You wanted Jungkook to hold but he wasn't. You murmured against his skin, "Why aren't you holding me?"

"I didn't know if I was supposed to." You wrapped your arms around your boyfriend's build. "Well, I want you to hold me." And like so, Jungkook held you close. He buried his face in your hair, breathing in your intoxicating scent. If Jungkook were to die right now, he would die a happy man; being in your arms, breathing you in is all he could ever ask for.

Before speaking Jungkook licked his lips, "____, I want to tell - shit! Babe, ow!" You had kicked Jungkook to further stop his sentence. "Like I said before, if you're going to keep apologizing then please leave. Because honestly, babe, I'm really tired of hearing you say that." Jungkook chuckled at your annoyance. "I wasn't going to apologize if that makes you happy. I was going to say how regretful I am to accuse you of cheating. How regretful I am of gripping you hard on the wrist. Cursing and yelling at you. I regret everything that happened last night."

You held Jungkook tighter to you. In situations similar to this, Jungkook was always the one comforting you; you were the stubborn one in the relationship. It was kind of hard being on the opposite side. You tried your best of comforting Jungkook, but you couldn't really do it physically, that spectrum resides for Jungkook.

So, you did what you do best, you comforted him verbally. "I know I can't ask you to feel a certain way, but know this, Jungkook," You lifted your head up to him, and expressed, "Everything that happened last night could never erase my four years of love for you. What you did to me definitely hurt me, but you cannot shoulder all of this guilt. I also was at fault."

Jungkook pulled away slightly. He couldn't believe what he heard. He denied, "No! You did nothing wrong." You furrowed your brows. "But I did, Jungkook! If I hadn't kept this a secret... if I had just told you my reason for being out so long, we wouldn't be in this predicament. I should have told you, and for that, I'm sorry." Jungkook wanted to argue your statement, but the look on your face was pleading with him to forgive you.

Jungkook shimmied his way down to you, eyes meeting at the same level. He pushed some of your hair away from your face, tucking them behind your ear. Your beauty was something to treasure. Jungkook smiled, "You're so beautiful, baby. If you want me to forgive you, I need you to forgive me as well."

You lifted your pointer finger up when an idea came to mind. "One last request," Jungkook smirked, wondering what trick you have up your sleeve. You continued on, "Kiss me on the lips and I'll forgive you."

You didn't have to tell him twice. Jungkook smashed his lips on yours, taking you all in. He cupped your jaw in between his hands, holding you tightly. Your small moans drowning in your lover's mouth. Your wondering hands feel the toned muscles beneath your fingertips. Somewhere along the way, you climbed on top of Jungkook. The slight grinding you were doing on his lap made him jolt. He softly gripped your arms and pushed you away.

"Baby, I think we should stop, because if we continue this, I don't think I'll have the urge to control my craving." You jumped on his lap, taunting him. Jungkook wasn't having it, so, he switched your positions; you were laying underneath him, while he trapped you between his arms. "Didn't I say you should stop?" he growled.

All you did was grin like a kid who won a stuffed animal at a carnival. You wrapped your arms around Jungkook's - somewhat sweaty neck. God only knows how much you love this man. If a home was a person, he would be yours. You proclaimed, "I love you so much, Jungkook." Jungkook saw the love swirling in your irises; his heart swarmed with adoration for you. As a response, he said, "I love you, ___. I could never love anybody as much as I love you."

You guys kissed one more time before going back to cuddling. In the middle of basking in each other's presence, you blurted, "Oh god, we have to buy the tickets today. Not only that, but we also hav-" Jungkook placed his rough hand on top of your mouth. “Shhh... It's cuddle time, babe." You pushed his hand away and giggled. You wished there was a word more than love, maybe devotion, but you really love Jungkook.

The Path Of A Singer | JJK

excerpt | the appearance of your old lover pops up on tv, and the horrible memories showed itself once again.

genre | heavy angst, cheating, abuse, minor fluff

rating | 18+

warnings | strong language, present & past, toxic relationship, mental & physical abuse, jk cheating, panic attack, alcohol and drug consumption, lots of crying, heartbreaking conversations, jk being vile, lots of yelling, jk manhandles the reader, mention of abusive father, mention of ptsd, reader being selfless (you might not agree with the decisions she's made, but don't hate her; she's a broken person), maybe more

wc | 4K+ (very short)

notes | it's been a hell of a long time since i wrote and posted anything....!!!

my inspiration came from watching the movie insidious: the red door lol. the reason for the mature rating is because of the strong language, the heavy conversations said, and the talks of alcohol and drugs. i want to say that i'm not romanticizing this type of relationship or the behaviors of the characters, i'm just making a story that maybe some people might have gone through. sometimes the decisions made or thought of does not make you a bad/horrible person. everyone had a reason good or bad; you just have try to be understanding. i also tried to make this as heartbreaking as possible, but for some reason i feel like it's not. hopefully it does pull some heartstrings for you guys.

You finally arrived home after an exhausting day of work. Your roommate wasn't home yet, so, luckily for you, you're able to binge eat without the concerned eyes of your friend watching you.

You walked your way to the kitchen and made yourself some sandwiches, you also grabbed some water on the way to the living room. When you made it to the couch, you plopped down heavily. You grabbed the remote and started scrolling through the channels. You came across a channel that was showing a music festival, and without thinking about who might be performing you clicked on it.

The first performer was a group called XG. As they were performing, you happily ate while vibing to their songs. At one point, you started singing as well, not caring that you still had some food in your mouth. If the neighbors were able to hear you, they would probably think someone is dying - yelling for help.

When you finished, you got up put away your dishes, and made your way to your room to change your clothes. As you were changing, you felt a bit lonely. You and your friend don't have any pets, no companion to keep any of you guys company. You exited your room with a simple sweater and shorts.

You made it back to the living room with a content expression on your face, unfortunately, it wouldn't last long. As you were about to get yourself situated on the couch, you looked at the TV screen, and the one person you never wanted to see again was singing.

You fell to your knees with a hard thud, watching the screen with horrid eyes. It's been three years since you saw him. In those three years, you tried your damned hardest to avoid anything and everything that involved him in it. The pain he caused you still resides in your little heart.

You didn't realize but you started crying; the tears rapidly falling. Your body started shaking; the little goosebumps displaying your skin. Your chest felt heavy like a huge wave crashing on you, and the water is rising up into your nose, making it hard for you to breathe. You felt like you were suffocating, and the lack of air was making your head light; dizziness taking its place.

On the outside, you were frozen, but on the inside, you were trying to claw your way out. You felt like you were scratching every surface of your body, but you weren't moving an inch. Your brain was screaming for help, but the only thing leaving your mouth was the hardness and unstableness of your breathing. Right now, you were wishing for your friend to come home right now and save you.

Three Years Ago

You were in your car driving your way to your boyfriend. Jungkook's manager called you demanding that you come and pick him up. You don't really know what happened, but from how his manager sounded, you were thinking that he got himself drunk and high again, causing thoughtless actions.

Not too long ago, Jungkook was able to get into his dream record label. After years and years of hard work, passion, and dedication he was able to pursue his dream. What you didn't realize is that with Jungkook getting to follow his dream of being a singer, he would soon lose his sense of self. In just two weeks he was starting to drink, and in another week, he started experimenting with drugs.

As time went on, so did your patience. You would try and try to stop him - to help him, but every time Jungkook would stop your advances. Pushing you away and causing you pain made Jungkook feel superior, it made him feel proud that he reached a certain height in life.

Your guy's relationship now consists of yelling and crying. Jungkook started to mentally abuse you, but even so, you would accept it. You didn't have the strength to leave him - to leave the man you love since middle school. You couldn't leave the man who would write songs about you, the man who would wake up during dawn and make you a big breakfast, the man who would call you no matter the time, the man who would always tell you how much he loves you every second of the day. You didn't have the strength to leave him.

With all your anger, you finally made it to the studio in one piece. When you entered the building, the looks on the staff's faces were concerning you. One of the staff went up to you and told you to not go inside the studio. You looked at them judgingly and pushed your way through them, but they still tried to stop you.

"What is the problem? Let me through!" you yelled. They gave you a sad look and apologized, "I'm sorry ma'am, but Jungkook is very busy, and I don't think it's a good idea for you to go inside there." Your anger was boiling, steam coming out of your ears. "Sorry for yelling at you, but I don't fucking care if he is busy. Jonny called me saying that I need to pick this asshole up, okay? If you're worried about me finding out that he is high or drunk - even both, don't. This is not new to me."

The staff in front of you looked like she was on the verge of tears. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she got the chance, a disheveled woman left the room your boyfriend was in. You watched her with wide eyes as she left the building with a smile on her face. You stomped your way to the studio door ignoring the pleas from the staff. You pushed open the door causing a loud bang, startling the man recognized as Jonny.

Jonny swiftly got up and the first thing you noticed was the bloody nose. You walked your way to him digging in your bag grabbing some tissues for his nose. Gently placing it on him, you politely demanded, "Where is he, Jonny?" The man before you faced his eyes on the floor. "Jonny, you called me here, so, don't fucking hide anything from me. Where is he?"

The man took a step back letting the blood freely fall again. He shook his head, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you. I've ruined everything." You gritted your teeth and threw the bloody tissue at his face. "Where the hell is he, Jonny?" you yelled.

A second later, Jungkook swung the bathroom door open with nothing but some sweats on. Your heart dropped from his appearance. It was evident that he had fucked the girl from earlier. You guys made eye contact, and you could tell immediately that he was high out of his mind. "Get out, Jonny," you said without looking.

When you heard the door shut, that's when you crumbled. Your eyes started blurring with the tears that were coming. Your body shaking with rage. You walked up to the fucked-up man and slapped him. "Why? Why? Why the hell would you do this to me?"

Jungkook harshly grabbed your wrists and laughed. He laughed like what you had said was something funny. You can smell the horrible alcohol leaving his mouth as he laughed. "Because it's fun, babe."

The pain rippled throughout your body. You snatched your wrists away and bellowed, "You're hurting me! You're destroying me! What does she have that I don't? I thought you loved me?" Jungkook towered over you; he grinned, "I don't love you." Your whole world died. Never had Jungkook spouted those words. It tore you limb from limb, slowly but surely. And that was all it took for you to call it done.

You were fine dealing with his hurtful ways. You were fine being the punching bag. But you were not fine being cheated on. Even with Jungkook in this fucked-up state, not once had he said that he didn't love you, and not once did he ever cheat on you. You felt lower than before, and you didn't want to feel like that. You knew that the moment he started doing drugs and drinking alcohol, the man you once knew would be gone. Still, you had hoped there might be a tiny sliver of him inside, but today proved - his words proved you wrong.

Your eyes hardened and your expression became stoic. Without trying to sound broken you seethed, "We are done! You fucking hear me? I am done with your shit - with everything!" As you walked your way to the door, Jungkook rushed in front of you and pushed you to the ground.

The wind got knocked out of you; you started bawling your eyes. For the first time, you were scared of the man before you. Jungkook locked the door behind him and dragged you by your feet. You tried kicking your feet, hoping that his release would loosen, and you could run away. But before you knew it, Jungkook locked you both into the soundproof booth.

When his grip on you was gone, you scurried to the corner of the booth shielding yourself with your bag. Jungkook walked to you and kneeled to your level. "Don't hide from me, baby." He gently grabbed your bag and tossed it to the other side of the booth. You closed your eyes; you couldn't see the monster of the man you love.

You felt Jungkook tenderly cupping your jaw. You trembled beneath his fingertips; quietly whimpering. It stayed like this for a few seconds until you felt his touch disappear. With your eyes still closed, you could hear Jungkook digging for something. You heard a rustling sound of a Ziplock bag. You knew better, you knew that he was using drugs right now.

"Open your eyes, ____," Jungkook demanded.

You didn't answer, you didn't move. This pissed off the man in front of you. He slapped you, making your body jolt, making your eyes open. You brought your hand to your cheek, tears threatening to fall. "See, it wasn't that hard?"

"W-what do you want... from me?" you stammered.

Jungkook seethed, "You can't leave me. I won't let you leave me. You owe me. All that money I spent on you, all those years I wasted on you - I want that back! And the only way you can pay me back is by being my bitch. You are fucking mine, ____!"

You finally let the tears fall again. Your whole body shook like lightning shooting throughout you. Shaking your head, you wailed, "No! No! No! Please! Don't do this to me, Dad! Stop hurting me!" For the first time today, Jungkook felt his senses come back. Your words panged his heart.

Your mother was never in your life. It was always you and your father, but your father was an abusive man. He would try to find any little thing to blame you for, just for him to lay his hands on you; from hitting, kicking, even to cutting. You had met Jungkook when you were thirteen years old, he comforted, protected, and helped you. When you finally turned eighteen, that's when you moved in with him - that's when you finally felt peace.

Jungkook cupped your face into place. He frantically said, "____, it's me. Your dad's not here. It's me, Jungkook." His touch burned you; you felt like dying. You mustered all your strength and pushed him away. You gripped your shirt and yelled, "No! You're not him! You're not Jungkook! You're a monster and I don't even recognize you!"

Monster... That simple word rang in Jungkook's mind. Monster... Such a terrifying word. If he was a monster, his reason would be because of you. Unfortunately, all the drugs and alcohol in his system weren't enough to keep him sane for one minute. Jungkook launched at you. His hands wrapped around your throat, choking you, but still letting you breathe.

You started clawing your nails on his bare arms. Digging deep that blood starts making its presence. But all that Jungkook could see right now was red. He couldn't feel the pain you were giving him; he couldn't hear the agony in your voice; he couldn't see your wrecked state. Red became his friend.

"You are the reason for my horrible being. You are the reason why I'm a monster. You bitch! If you hadn't kept pushing me to pursue this fucking career, I would've still been the same. If you hadn't been so loving and caring and supportive, we wouldn't be in this predicament. I can't believe that I fell in love with a disgusting person like you. I can't fucking believe that I let you take control of my whole being!"

Right when you were on the verge of passing out, Jungkook released his hold on you; he backed himself on the other side of the booth. You were catching your breath. Your hands shakingly touched your neck, throbbing against your frail fingers. You were painfully coughing; mentally asking God to help ease your pain. Your eyes went in and out of vision; red and black dots were the only thing in sight.

Jungkook watched you with dark eyes. He watched as you were struggling to regain your previous state. He watched as you were crying from the pain, he inflicted on you. He watched the one person who was always with him, the one person who loved and cared for him no longer be the same. He killed you, painfully and slowly.

Present

"____, look at me. It's okay. It's okay." Your friend Lia gently held your face in place. She called out your name, praying that you would settle. She watched as you were frantically breathing; your eyes looking everywhere but her; your body shaking like the room was freezing.

Your panic attacks rarely happen, but when they do, Lia feels so useless. She wished that she could help ease your pain, she wished that she had the power to prevent this. But all she could do was hold you and tell you that you're okay.

Minutes go by until you are finally back. "____?" Lia cautioned, "____, look at me. Are you okay?" As you looked at Lia, you could see the worried expression painting her beautiful face. You hated yourself for making her feel like this, but you couldn't help it. This feeling will never go away; it gets buried six feet under, but once he appears they come back.

"Lia," you whispered, "I saw him again... on TV." Lia took a deep sigh; she hated the pain he caused you before and now. She wrapped you in her arms, holding you with such care. The second you were in her arms, you broke. You cried and cried, loudly speaking your pain.

Lia felt her shirt dampen, but she didn't care. Whatever you do to her, she will take it all in, as long as you feel better in the end, Lia will gladly be your tissue, your enemy, your punching bag. Lia murmured against your hair, "I'm here. I will always be here." She held you tighter; she didn't want you to fade away from her.

You took deep breaths to calm down your nerves. You pulled away from Lia and made your way to the couch. You brought your knees up and buried your face in the space between. You hissed, "I hate what he does to me. He's not even here!" This time you whispered, "And yet, he's able to bring me down to my knees... scared."

Lia met you three years ago; months after your event. You were just a newly hired TA. When Lia first saw you, you looked like a girl who was barely keeping her life together. You told her beforehand - when you started room mating with her, that you have PTSD and that your panic attacks happen from time to time. You didn't really tell her the whole story, just that you were in a very abusive relationship and that you experienced something so terrifying. She accepted you with an open mind and open arms; from then on, Lia became your rock.

Lia got up and sat right next to you. She wanted to ask you a question, but she was scared that you would hate her or push her away for asking. But this question has been in her mind for a while now. After taking a few seconds thinking to think it through, Lia wiped her sweating palms on her pants and inquired, "____, if you don't mind me asking... why didn't you call the police on him? You should've, 'cause I don't think he should be performing after everything he's done to you."

Your eyes started getting blurry; you told yourself the exact same thing, but there was a reason. With your head still buried, you softly replied, "It's easier said than done, Lia. I wished I called the police on him - I wish I could call the police on him, but I can't. Because in simple words... I love him. I hate myself for loving him. Even after everything he has done to me, and everything he has said to me, I love him. Does that make me a horrible person?"

Lia felt herself invisibly jumping out of the couch. No way does she think you're a horrible person. You're just a person who's been through something horribly traumatic. Her heart was filled with so much pain for you. Lia positioned herself so she was facing your small figure, and expressed, "____, no way in hell are you a horrible person. Far from it! I won't be able to say that I relate or know what you're going through, because I don't. But I am able to say that I'll support you and understand your feelings and decisions."

You lifted your head but still kept your eyes on your knees; you muttered, "I met him when we were thirteen years old. He was a very shy and reserved kid - hated social interactions. I remember..." you quietly giggled without realizing when you were remembering the fond memories, "I remember when he used to make small mixtapes every anniversary with letters. He wasn't always a horrible person. He used to be kind, supportive, and loving. One of my favorite things about him was his selflessness towards me. I loved that he would always think about my needs, what I wanted, what I was thinking, and how I was feeling, but in turn, he did the opposite for himself. It was a blessing and a curse."

Lia looked at you and saw the small smile showing. This look was rare for you, and every time it made its appearance, Lia would always treasure it. "He must have been a great person for you to smile like that." You furrowed your brows; you turned to Lia with confusion. "What smile?" you questioned. Lia rolled her eyes, "Well, there's no smile anymore."

You took a deep sigh and apologized, "I'm sorry for talking about him. It's just - just talking about him in this light makes me happy and warm... even if it only lasts for a few seconds." Lia noticed that you started tearing up. Your face was slightly contorted with pain; you were trying not to cry, holding it in but it didn't work. Your tears were freely falling, and Lia comforted you once again. You quietly whimpered, "During that time I called him a monster, but really, I don't want to remember him as the monster in my life because at one point he used to be my prince who saved me from one. I try to think and talk about him in this beautiful light that he used to be under - I want to remember him as that, but the pain he brought upon me is too hard to ignore." You started wailing at this point, "It continues to haunt me, and I hate it! I want to hate him, but I can't! I can't!"

Lia felt herself crying for your pain. She felt herself slowly dying by your words. It truly kills her that her most precious and beautiful friend is going through so much pain. As you both cried into each other's arms, you could hear Lia continuously apologize through her cries. You were so grateful to have such an amazing person as her.

Once you were calmed down, you pulled away from the still tearful woman and wiped her tears away. "Don't cry anymore, Lia." you sniffled, "What happened to me - what's still happening to me would never be fully cured, but I know that whatever happens next, you'll be by my side, and slowly but surely, I won't be able to be to feel the pain anymore. Okay?" Lia nodded her head with a soft smile. You're right, as long as she's with you and as long as you are with her everything will be fine. You guys are each other's glue - each other's person.

There is no doubt in your mind that this pain will pass by. You don't know how long that will take, but until the day comes, having Lia with you eases your heart from pain as much as possible.

"You mailed her my letter?"

"Yes, Jungkook."

The tired man finished his show with a bang, and even though people enjoyed his performance, Jungkook couldn't seem to feel all that happy. For the past year since he finished his rehab, nothing has felt more depressing.

The morning of that night when he woke up, Jonny had told him that you had left, and he was to go to rehab immediately. He hated you for leaving, he hated that you left him in such a messy state. Jungkook blamed everything on you. Jonny had told the ill man that if it wasn't for you, everything that he had worked so hard on would go down the drain. At first, Jungkook didn't understand why you left or what Jonny was saying, but as time went on, he knew that everything was his fault. His addictions and his abusive behavior were all his fault. The reason for your disappearance was his fault. Your pain - everything was all him.

Jungkook knows that there will be no way for him to fix the things he has done and the things he had said, but even so, he would try his damn hardest to fix it. When he finished rehab, Jungkook made it a mission to send you a letter every week, telling you about his days throughout the week, how much he loves and cares for you, telling you how much he is so regretful. Deep down he knows that he is being selfish, he knows that he should let you go - let you move on, but the helpless man is stuck in the past. The past is what keeps him alive. The past is his only source of reason. Jungkook doesn't want to let go of that one thing he has left of you.

Jonny felt so much pity for the man, he didn't have the heart to tell him that he didn't know your address. He would accept the letters, promising that he would mail them, but when night rolls around your letters would be burned. Jonny wanted to quit being Jungkook's manager, but you begged and begged for him to stay with the broken singer. You wanted Jungkook to at least have one person for him to lean on when things get hard. Jonny admires your strength - how strong of a woman you are, so, he agreed.

"You should just stop already, Jungkook. She's never gonna mail you back. I know your reason, but you lost her, and you can never fix that." Jonny was getting tired; tired of seeing the broken singer trying with no prevail.

Jungkook walked up to his manager and lowly whispered, "You think I don't know that, Jonny? Ever since I learned that everything is my fault... I knew that she would never come back to me. Yet I still hope - even if that hope is microscopic or nonexistent, I hope that I will be able to see or be with her again."

The fatigued man took a few steps back and lowered his heavy head down. His eyes searched the floor trying to keep his tears at bay, but it didn't work. The salty tears of this poor singer escaped and landed harshly on the wooden floor. Sniffling, the fatigued man uttered, "You think I don't know that you burn my letters?" Jungkook lifted his head up and saw the ashamed manager looking back at him.

He continued, "You're not as discreet as you think you are, Jonny. I went to your hotel room to ask for a favor... and I saw you burn my eighth letter with sadness swimming in your eyes. I connected the dots from there, and I realized that you never sent any of my letters because you don't know her address, huh? You're left in the dark like I am, huh? You know nothing about her whereabouts, about how she's doing, about anything, huh, Jonny!" The manager kept quiet; didn't know what to say.

Jungkook slumped down on the nearest chair with a hard thump. He leaned his head back with closed eyes and softly whimpered, "I now understand the meaning ‘You reap what you sow’… I'm never gonna stop. I know I can never fix this, but I promise you Jonny, I will never stop. Ten years - fifty years from now, I will keep writing her letters... knowing that deep down all of this is for nothing. I don't care if I'm shaming myself by doing this - I don't care about anything but her. She's not mine anymore but I'm forever hers. Let me live like this. Let me live with the consequences. Let me drown myself in this regret."

The destroyed man opened his eyes and gently moved his head to the side to see the lone figure of his manager feet away. With a deep sigh, Jungkook claimed, "You're just my manager, right? So, don't involve yourself in my pitiful life. Just do the job you were hired to do, along with getting my letters. Don't care what you do to them - burn them, keep them hidden, rip them up... doesn't matter, just don't let me know about it; let me falsely believe that you mailed them to her. Alright? Now please get the car... I wanna go home."

Wake up

Type: Angst, a bit of Fluff

{Minghao wakes up after a “acquaintances with benefits” encounter with you}

Minghao POV

Something was warming my skin. Not like the warmth, I felt of you last night but rather the heat of the sun. My eyes felt heavy but I forced them open. My vision, clouded, but a few blinks fixed that. 

I was staring at the morning sun through the window, I should be admiring this beautiful view but my mind kept traveling back to last night. Remembering every moment of ecstasy and pleasure, I almost feel guilty.

Guilty for not getting to know you, for us not getting closer beforehand, for not knowing you. But I couldn’t change that now could I?

I turned my back to the sun, my back now feeling the warmth my face felt moments ago.

Now I was facing you and I didn’t care that we were nude, I didn’t feel any compulsion of wanting to relive yesterday like I did as I replayed it before I turned to you. 

Instead, my eyes traced your face, trying to ingrain the memory of every detail of your face into my mind. You weren’t super-model gorgeous, no instead a piece of art and art isn’t always supposed to look beautiful it’s supposed to make you feel something, you made me feel something.

I memorized every wrinkle, acne scar, and pimple. I memorized the way strands of your hair would fall every time you snored. I never considered myself as someone who would fall so quickly in love, I don’t even know if this is “love”. 

I placed my hand on your waist underneath the blanket and moved closer to you. I pulled my other hand from underneath me and began tracing the features of your face, lightly so I don’t wake you up.

From your eyes to your nose to your lips-

I suddenly felt the warmth of the sun again on my face. I held my eyes shut closely hoping it wasn’t as I thought, but sure enough, it was. I desperately tried to fall back asleep and continue that beautiful dream of you.

But no, the dream was over.

You weren’t by my side, I wasn’t tracing your face, my hand wasn't on your waist. Instead, I turned around to my bed empty and my clothes on the floor, and you not in sight. The scent of your perfume still lightly embedded in my furniture.

I heard the door close and I pushed myself to get up even if my body wanted to rest still. I hurried and put on my underwear and shirt, hoping I could catch you before the elevator door closed. 

I ran like hell to try and catch you, almost tripping on my neighbor's package they failed to pick up yesterday afternoon. Just as I got down to the end of the hall the elevator doors were already 3/4 of the way closed but you saw me still and I hoped you would push the button to reopen the door but you didn’t. 

I walked back to my apartment in defeat, mentally hitting myself for not getting your number or not waking up earlier. I sat on my couch ignoring my empty stomach that growled at me, only thinking of you. Just as I was going to try and go back to sleep and dream of you there was a knock on my door. 

I didn’t bother checking the monitor to see who it was, not caring anyways because you were already gone. I opened the door with my head hung low not wanting to see anyone right now. 

“I think I can stay longer... I didn’t think I’d wake you up, sorry.”

My knees went week hearing your voice and I really hoped this wasn’t another dream. That thought was diminished when I looked up and saw you standing there, I fought my every nerve to not hug you. 

“No no I’m just glad you came back..” 

gn!reader x boyfriend!san

non-idol au; fluff, little angst?

summary: with winter starting soon, it means more cold and gloomy days but what better way to spend it than snuggling with your warm and comforting boyfriend?

author's note; I'm so sorry for how late this is. I hope it reaches you.

It's the end of another week at the campus, with long lectures, little sleep and lots of coffee. You couldn't wait to get back to your dorm. Not just to see your cat or to have a moment of rest on your comfy cream coloured couch but something more. Your boyfriend San.

Walking out from the fairly warm building into the icy winter evening, you tried to think of millions of things to distract yourself from your shivering body and remembered it was movie night.

Since you started dating your boyfriend of two years, you had made it a tradition to have movie dates every Friday, regardless of whatever projects either of you had due the following week with exceptions for exam season. It was a way to bond and destress. Something you both needed to do every once in a while.

"Sannie, I'm home!" you shout from the kitchen. You hear a door open from your shared bedroom and footsteps fast approaching. "Hi baby, how was today?" he asked, not forgetting to place a small peck on your lips. "Tiring as always but lucky for me I have an amazing boyfriend to come home to." you smiled pulling him in for a lazy hug. He smelled good, he felt good, rather warm which was a large contrast to your cold figure.

"Baby, you're shivering," he pulls back from a hug to search your body in concern. "and your fingers are all puffy and frozen." he takes your hands into his to warm them up. "Wait here, I'll be right back." He hurries back to your room and after a few beats of silence, you hear water running. You can't help but smile at how caring he is and how lucky you are to be able to call him yours. Your daydream is interrupted by San calling you from the other room. "Y/N! It's ready." You scurried in a hurry to feel the warmth of a bubble bath to melt the little icicles you were sure had started to form at the tip of your toes.

"Get in quick, I'll go make the popcorn in the meantime." he smiled his million-dollar smile that made your heartbeat rapidly every single time, giving you a quick kiss before leaving the room. "San," you called out to him, stopping him dead in his tracks. "Thank you for this and just, everything." you exhale. "You're welcome my love." he says blowing you an air kiss before closing the door behind him.

The bath helped melt away everything from your stress to the frost that had formed at your fingertips. Making your way to the lounge in a warm sweater with its matching sweatpants, or as San liked to call it, "uniform" (because of how often your wore sweatpants and sweaters) you smell the popcorn. You swear the aroma must have made you float your way to the kitchen because of how fast you headed towards it. "Ah, you're back just in time. The popcorn and movie are ready, go get under the blankets." before you can even protest, he sends you out like a mom does to her child,

"Alright, popcorn is served." You clap your hands in excitement and hurry to grab the remote and press play. Just as the entering credits play, you give San a peck one last peck on the cheek. "I love you." you whisper, he turns his head to return your display of affection.

"I love you more."