Ateez Angst - Tumblr Posts

-> When they reject you…

... but it wasn't a confession (WOOSAN version)

Genre: angst-ish, bittersweet endings, unrequited love (hard to say from each side tho)

Tags/ Warnings: angsty; bittersweet endings; implied bullying in San's part not done by him; implied body shame in San's part not done by him; San's a coward and don't do anything about it; i don't even now what to say about wooyoung's part, that's a warning?

WC: 1,4 k

N/A: I said that I'd make more of these and here they are (after 8 whole months, I'm so sorry). I didn't forget about the lovely people that loved the MATZ version, this is for you guys!

Please reblog my work if you enjoyed it, it helps to reach other people <3

MATZ Version

Ateez Masterlist

JEONG WOOYOUNG (정우영)

You heard the soft buzz of your phone on your beside table, yet the only thing you did was turn around and adjust the thick blanket under your chin. It was getting cold by the minute and a simple thought crossed your mind before you closed your eyes once again, maybe you should see him one last time.

If anyone told you a week ago that you’d be ignoring Wooyoung’s calls, you wouldn’t believe it, but here you are. You could’ve just block him for once and for all, but a little sick part within you liked to hear the proof of his neediness and desperation. Every call were the solid evidence that it wasn’t all in your head, in fact, he was the once who always seemed to cling to you.

The silence filled the room for barely five seconds, then the phone started ringing again.

You wish you could say you slept well that night, knowing that he wouldn’t leave any voicemails, that little prideful jerk. Instead, the same scene appeared over and over in your mind.

You still could feel his hands around your waist. He made it all so casual, natural and comfortable, like it was supposed to be that way between friends. However, you knew he only ever called you late at night, sometimes just to talk when he couldn’t fall asleep, others to beg you to come pick him up and somewhere in between those moments, he made you believe you were special to him. How special or in what way was a work in progress, you were unsure if his actions should worry you, if maybe it was more than friendly, until he made it all clear a week ago.

It was his birthday, so you did everything you could to make a memorable night, even baked the giant birthday cake yourself. Sometime after the loud music turned into background noise, he found you by the kitchen, then asked you to wait upstairs for him. His room was the only one locked in the entire house, so he left you with the key after sending one of his cheeky little winks your way. You still remember how giddy you felt, because you just received the perfect opportunity to give him that one watch he was thinking about buying it for months now.

The whole day you couldn’t really get a hold of him, something you can not blame Wooyoung of all people for, still, it was dangerously close to midnight. Was it too much to ask for some time with you best friend on his birthday? No, no it wasn’t. You weren’t asking for anything much than a simple conversation and a little bit of appreciation, something you were yet to hear from him. So you waited as much as your patience allowed.

Bu he didn’t show up.

And you knew exactly where he was, most likely having the time of his life surrounded by all your mutual friends, and you did love that about him. You’d always say that he was like your personal ray of sunshine, people like him would always have the spotlight and you also knew he enjoyed that very much. How can you wish something else for him on his day? You wish he had all the fun in the world and maybe share a bit with you as well.

So after waiting for fifteen minutes, you decided that you gave him enough grace already. Wooyoung could get lost in the moment sometimes, so you decided you were going to remind him in the pettiest way you could think of.

But none of that mattered when you laid eyes on him, standing at the bottom of the stairs. He held close one of your mutual closest friend, closer then you remembered them together before. They both were in a small circle by the wall, laughing at something he whispered. Were they a thing now? How did you not know? But there was a larger question taking all the space in your head. Is this how you look like beside him? You were used to the closeness, you enjoyed the intimacy, it could easily be you there right now.

Yet, it wasn’t you and it won’t be.

So why the hell can’t he accept that and deal with the consequences of his own actions? You were giving him what he asked for, space.

Still, he’s calling again.

CHOI SAN (최산)

The moment your existence intertwined with San’s back in college, it felt like people’s perception of you changed all of a sudden. You were nobody to most, then became somebody to him and as a consequence, someone to his friends and acquaintances. It would be fascinating to watch if it wasn’t your own life and if it wasn’t so freaking depressing. A frequent comment you’d hear was ‘how odd the two of you look next to each other’, and there was nothing you could do against a sly remark like that, specially when it comes from his so called friends, and you knew San always took that as a light joke about your differences in personalities.

You don’t remember how it happened, one day you sat beside him at the very back of a class you, so desperately, wanted to skip but couldn’t, the other day you both were attached to the hip. And how could you not? Never in you life you thought you’d describe a man as sweet, not with you at least, but there he was, every day, proving you wrong.

To be in the vicinity as someone like him was a once in a lifetime kind of experience, but to be his friend was another thing entirely. San was one of those people that can make you feel at the top of the world when he pays attention to you, the kind of person that truly seeks connection with those around him and when someone talks, he listens with all his body.

You tried to keep those pros in your mind, but more often than not you caught yourself pondering if it was still worth the headache after all those years, like right now.

You promised yourself you’d come to this stupid five-year college reunion, because otherwise San’d whine about it for a whole month, like you not coming would make him lonely somehow, like that was even a possibility.

Then, it started.

It always does one way or another.

This time was a “innocent joke” about how you glued yourself to San back in the day. They all laughed including yourself, you did not want to make a scene, you never do.

Then there was the stares at the two of you sitting beside each other. That was the funniest part for them, the simple thought that you could still have some hope for something to happen between the two of you to this day and age was hysterical. You could tell since the very start of your friendship what those people thought about you and what your place should be.

Maybe if you ever felt anything towards San in that way, it’d hurt you deeply, but you didn’t and still don’t, so it just pisses you off to no end. However, you don’t have the courage to bring it up and perhaps you should’ve done then, but now you barely see any of them, so what is it one more day?

“You’re good?”, he leaned towards you and his hands caressed your lower arm like it was second nature to him.

You nodded, then whispered as you grabbed your purse, “I’ll be back in a minute”.

It was a long walk to the nearest bathroom, outside of the gymnasium, long enough to calm yourself down and to think clearly.

All the while San was downing a drink after the other, laughing at something he barely heard from across the big table of 9 he was in. Red in the face, coughing like crazy in the middle of the chaos, he did not see you walking up to him.

“What?”, he asked the third time, leaning in to hear his friend better.

“Just admit it already, do you like her, don’t you?”

It took him a few seconds to figure it out what that was about, then a flash of you came into his mind and the recognition on his face was clear to them all. He sobered up quick and sat upright, putting his body weight on top of the table.

You don’t hear what the answer was and you don’t need to. Their laughter, his laughter, echoed in between the song change.

So maybe he wasn’t that innocent after all.

Taglist: @h3arteyes4mingi

-> When they reject you…

... but it wasn't a confession (WOOSAN version)

Genre: angst-ish, bittersweet endings, unrequited love (hard to say from each side tho)

Tags/ Warnings: angsty; bittersweet endings; implied bullying in San's part not done by him; implied body shame in San's part not done by him; San's a coward and don't do anything about it; i don't even now what to say about wooyoung's part, that's a warning?

WC: 1,4 k

N/A: I said that I'd make more of these and here they are (after 8 whole months, I'm so sorry). I didn't forget about the lovely people that loved the MATZ version, this is for you guys!

Please reblog my work if you enjoyed it, it helps to reach other people <3

MATZ Version

Ateez Masterlist

JEONG WOOYOUNG (정우영)

You heard the soft buzz of your phone on your beside table, yet the only thing you did was turn around and adjust the thick blanket under your chin. It was getting cold by the minute and a simple thought crossed your mind before you closed your eyes once again, maybe you should see him one last time.

If anyone told you a week ago that you’d be ignoring Wooyoung’s calls, you wouldn’t believe it, but here you are. You could’ve just block him for once and for all, but a little sick part within you liked to hear the proof of his neediness and desperation. Every call were the solid evidence that it wasn’t all in your head, in fact, he was the once who always seemed to cling to you.

The silence filled the room for barely five seconds, then the phone started ringing again.

You wish you could say you slept well that night, knowing that he wouldn’t leave any voicemails, that little prideful jerk. Instead, the same scene appeared over and over in your mind.

You still could feel his hands around your waist. He made it all so casual, natural and comfortable, like it was supposed to be that way between friends. However, you knew he only ever called you late at night, sometimes just to talk when he couldn’t fall asleep, others to beg you to come pick him up and somewhere in between those moments, he made you believe you were special to him. How special or in what way was a work in progress, you were unsure if his actions should worry you, if maybe it was more than friendly, until he made it all clear a week ago.

It was his birthday, so you did everything you could to make a memorable night, even baked the giant birthday cake yourself. Sometime after the loud music turned into background noise, he found you by the kitchen, then asked you to wait upstairs for him. His room was the only one locked in the entire house, so he left you with the key after sending one of his cheeky little winks your way. You still remember how giddy you felt, because you just received the perfect opportunity to give him that one watch he was thinking about buying it for months now.

The whole day you couldn’t really get a hold of him, something you can not blame Wooyoung of all people for, still, it was dangerously close to midnight. Was it too much to ask for some time with you best friend on his birthday? No, no it wasn’t. You weren’t asking for anything much than a simple conversation and a little bit of appreciation, something you were yet to hear from him. So you waited as much as your patience allowed.

Bu he didn’t show up.

And you knew exactly where he was, most likely having the time of his life surrounded by all your mutual friends, and you did love that about him. You’d always say that he was like your personal ray of sunshine, people like him would always have the spotlight and you also knew he enjoyed that very much. How can you wish something else for him on his day? You wish he had all the fun in the world and maybe share a bit with you as well.

So after waiting for fifteen minutes, you decided that you gave him enough grace already. Wooyoung could get lost in the moment sometimes, so you decided you were going to remind him in the pettiest way you could think of.

But none of that mattered when you laid eyes on him, standing at the bottom of the stairs. He held close one of your mutual closest friend, closer then you remembered them together before. They both were in a small circle by the wall, laughing at something he whispered. Were they a thing now? How did you not know? But there was a larger question taking all the space in your head. Is this how you look like beside him? You were used to the closeness, you enjoyed the intimacy, it could easily be you there right now.

Yet, it wasn’t you and it won’t be.

So why the hell can’t he accept that and deal with the consequences of his own actions? You were giving him what he asked for, space.

Still, he’s calling again.

CHOI SAN (최산)

The moment your existence intertwined with San’s back in college, it felt like people’s perception of you changed all of a sudden. You were nobody to most, then became somebody to him and as a consequence, someone to his friends and acquaintances. It would be fascinating to watch if it wasn’t your own life and if it wasn’t so freaking depressing. A frequent comment you’d hear was ‘how odd the two of you look next to each other’, and there was nothing you could do against a sly remark like that, specially when it comes from his so called friends, and you knew San always took that as a light joke about your differences in personalities.

You don’t remember how it happened, one day you sat beside him at the very back of a class you, so desperately, wanted to skip but couldn’t, the other day you both were attached to the hip. And how could you not? Never in you life you thought you’d describe a man as sweet, not with you at least, but there he was, every day, proving you wrong.

To be in the vicinity as someone like him was a once in a lifetime kind of experience, but to be his friend was another thing entirely. San was one of those people that can make you feel at the top of the world when he pays attention to you, the kind of person that truly seeks connection with those around him and when someone talks, he listens with all his body.

You tried to keep those pros in your mind, but more often than not you caught yourself pondering if it was still worth the headache after all those years, like right now.

You promised yourself you’d come to this stupid five-year college reunion, because otherwise San’d whine about it for a whole month, like you not coming would make him lonely somehow, like that was even a possibility.

Then, it started.

It always does one way or another.

This time was a “innocent joke” about how you glued yourself to San back in the day. They all laughed including yourself, you did not want to make a scene, you never do.

Then there was the stares at the two of you sitting beside each other. That was the funniest part for them, the simple thought that you could still have some hope for something to happen between the two of you to this day and age was hysterical. You could tell since the very start of your friendship what those people thought about you and what your place should be.

Maybe if you ever felt anything towards San in that way, it’d hurt you deeply, but you didn’t and still don’t, so it just pisses you off to no end. However, you don’t have the courage to bring it up and perhaps you should’ve done then, but now you barely see any of them, so what is it one more day?

“You’re good?”, he leaned towards you and his hands caressed your lower arm like it was second nature to him.

You nodded, then whispered as you grabbed your purse, “I’ll be back in a minute”.

It was a long walk to the nearest bathroom, outside of the gymnasium, long enough to calm yourself down and to think clearly.

All the while San was downing a drink after the other, laughing at something he barely heard from across the big table of 9 he was in. Red in the face, coughing like crazy in the middle of the chaos, he did not see you walking up to him.

“What?”, he asked the third time, leaning in to hear his friend better.

“Just admit it already, do you like her, don’t you?”

It took him a few seconds to figure it out what that was about, then a flash of you came into his mind and the recognition on his face was clear to them all. He sobered up quick and sat upright, putting his body weight on top of the table.

You don’t hear what the answer was and you don’t need to. Their laughter, his laughter, echoed in between the song change.

So maybe he wasn’t that innocent after all.

Taglist: @h3arteyes4mingi

10:44 AM

Pairing: Yeosang x reader Genre: Fluff, a small amount of angst if you squint but mostly fluff Warnings: Mentions of lost friendships (not really though), mentions of awkward interactions. Word count: 589 Summary: You meet an old friend.

You almost couldn’t believe it. Seeing him, someone you haven’t seen in nearly five years, sitting right in front of the desk you’d planned to sit at. You’d heard that he was attending this school too, maybe even in the same program, but you didn’t think that he’d actually be in any of your classes. Let alone one of the core classes for your major.

It was… jarring, to say the least. But not unwelcome.

“Hey, stranger,” you say, sitting behind him. He turns around and blinks, eyes widening when he realizes who you are.

“Oh, yn! Hi! I had no idea you were here,” he says, blushing.

“Here as in this school or here as in this class or…?” you tease. He chuckles, then shrugs, indicating both. 

“Well, yep, I’m here. And now I’m sitting behind you.” “Yes, you are.”

A silence ensues, neither of you really knowing what to say. It had been a while. The last time you two really hung out was in freshman year of high school, and after that you only glanced at each other in the halls sometimes, saying hi in passing. You weren’t on unfriendly terms, not at all, just… unfamiliar ones now. 

“Well, I guess we’ll be seeing more of each other,” he says, still blushing slightly. You grin and nod, about to verbally agree when the teacher walks in. He smiles politely and turns back to the front of the room.

It was a bit strange. You two knew so much about each other, since you had known each other since you were seven, but now felt like strangers. You knew what his favorite colors were over a span of seven years, how he liked his eggs, who he’d had a crush on at nine years old, his favorite teachers at thirteen, his first girlfriend at fourteen, and so much more. And he knew the same about you, though maybe a few different milestones. 

And yet, it felt like you knew nothing about each other.

Maybe the disconnect happened in freshman year, when he told you he was dating someone. He had been waiting for you for seven years, he had said, and couldn’t bear you not returning his feelings, so he started pursuing someone else. But you had secretly loved him that whole time, and told him as much. That was when the awkwardness began—he couldn’t just break up with his girlfriend, he loved her too. So you two hung out less and less, until you found yourselves with different friends and different loves. 

His hair had been blond at graduation, but it looks like he’s dyed it back to black. You continue to stare at the back of his head until he senses you and turns around, giving you a quizzical glance. You just smile and wink, mouthing the words “hi, Sangie” and waving your fingers slightly. He blushes slightly, mouthing a “hi, yn” before whipping around to face the front again.

A small, folded piece of paper is tossed onto your desk five minutes later. 

“There’s a boba place a few streets away from campus, want to check it out with me after class? 

<3, Sangie” it said.

You smile, remembering notes in a similar format from interactions in the past. You tap his shoulder three times, your code for “yes,” and sit back. 

You don’t know if it’s just a friendly hangout or a precursor to a date, but one thing is for sure: you have a feeling you’re going to really enjoy this class.

Requests open!

I’m going to be writing a few drabbles, requests are open :) send through my ask box pls <3

genres/pairings i will write:

smut

fluff

angst

member x member

member x reader

solo member

groups/idols i will write for:

ATEEZ - all members

BTS - all members

SHINee - key, minho

Dreamcatcher - all members

TXT - all members

idolboyfriend!san x fem!reader

the stress of the week had built up and finally overwhelmed you.

on monday, you had forgotten to set your alarm and overslept, resulting in you having to rush to work without eating. on tuesday, your least favourite colleague was absent and guess who was picked to do their work? yes, you.

on wednesday, your period had started, leaving you with excruciating cramps which made you irritable all day. it was now thursday, and on the way back home from work, you had tripped on a crack in the pavement, bruising your knees and giving you the embarrassment of falling over in public.

now, you were curled up in bed, still in your work clothes, sobbing. your tears ran down your cheeks, leaving trails of ruined makeup. wallowing in your emotions, you almost didn't hear the door open.

almost.

of course, it was thursday. the day your boyfriend san comes home early from practice. he called out, quickly bounding to the bedroom when he heard your reply.

his grin dropped from his face as he took in the desolate sight of his girlfriend. rushing to you, he wraps you in his arms, lifting you onto his lap.

"baby! what's happened?"

a fresh wave of cries overcomes you as you manage to hiccup your problems to him. he holds you tight, stroking your hair and murmuring reassurances to you.

after you've calmed down, san grips your hand and leads you into the bathroom. sitting you down on the toilet lid, he proceeds to run a bath, putting in a bath bomb and some oils, the aromas floating into the room. next, he puts some makeup remover onto some cotton pads and takes off the dried makeup on your face, gently swiping it across your eyes and over your cheeks. after that, he tugs off your clothes, leaving you in your underwear so you can deal with that yourself.

he leaves the bathroom, letting you settle into the hot bathwater. he returns, holding a pair of his sweatpants and a hoodie of his. placing them on the toilet lid, he bends over you, pressing a kiss to your head.

when you've finished in the bathroom, you step out, wearing san's big clothes, his scent surrounding you. as you enter the bedroom, you're met with the sight of your freshly showered boyfriend, dressed in only sweatpants, sitting in bed. he has a small pile of snacks next to him and on the screen opposite, you can see the opening titles of a movie you've been planning to watch together.

a smile paints his face as he sees you, his arms opening automatically. you grin as you practically jump onto him, snuggling closer to his warm skin. his arms rest around your shoulders, rubbing them occasionally. he grabs a snack from his side, opening the packet and placing it between you. he then reaches for the remote control, playing the movie.

later, the snacks have finished, and the movie has ended. you've fallen asleep against san, taking comfort in his embrace. he smiles down at you, admiring your beauty. pressing a kiss to your cheek, he whispers,

"goodnight, my star.

Good to have you

ATEEZ SAN Yandere AU Oneshot

WARNINGS: Mention of blood, Yandere, Slight violence, Death

word count: 761

Y/N: “No, No, No, NO, NOOO!”

You had tried to clean the carpet for the umpteenth time but it just wouldn’t get clean. How could San spill this much wine? The glass was shattered all over the floor. You kneeled for too long your knees began to have red prints. They felt numb just like your hands that were soaked from all the water.

Y/N: “Oh damn this carpet was ugly anyways… San won’t bother if I throw it away will he? The spot isn’t even that visible anymore”

You sighed and swiped the sweat away from your forehead. You pulled down your sleeves again and brought away the things you tried to clean up the mess with. You tried to pick up the glass carefully and sweep up the rest. Just as you were going to roll up the carpet the door to yours and Sans apartment opened and what you saw let you drop the carpet again. Your mouth fell wide open and your eyes started watering immediately.

San greeted you with a big smil just like he always did and bent down near your face to give you a kiss on the cheek. Your general feeling changed to that much of a discomfort. It felt like someone was holding your throat.

Sans face was covered in blood. It dripped down his neck and further down onto his shirt.

San: “Oh god thank you sweety. The carpet looks better now. Would not have known what to do with it. I guess it was hard to clean it wasn’t it?”

No words came into your head let alone roll over your tongue. Your mouth moved in hope something would come out.

Y/N: “San, what was I cleaning? What was it, that I wiped off…?”

He picked up the rug and looked at it proudly but threw it in the trash.

Y/N: “San, what did you do?”

San: “No no. Honey, that’s not the important question. The important question is what your boss has done. What he has done to you.”

You lost a terrible whimpering and your hands flew to your mouth as the tears slowly began to build up in your eyes until they rolled down your cheeks without stopping. San quickly sat down next to you to wipe away the tears but you scared back. He was not pleased with this reaction and almost dragged you into a hug.

San: “I didn’t like how he treated you. The way he gave orders and looked at you. I know you have filed a complaint against him but as you know I’m not very patient … I showed him what happens when someone treats you like this. Because you are mine and I do not tolerate this contact. I’m disappointed you did not pay attention.”

He pouted at you and held your face in his hands so you could look at him. Then he smiled at you again as if nothing had happened. Like you never cried. He was too proud of what he did. You knew that. You did not want to play or give him the feeling that what he did was right but you had no other choice whatsoever.

Y/N: “San you are… dangerous.”

San was negatively surprised, which he expressed.

San: “How can you say that baby? You should think about what you said there because it isn’t true and-“

He interrupted his sentence to pull you up by the arm and throw you against the wall, the impact was too intense it pushed out a strong cough of yours. He slammed his fist into the wall next to your head.

“-and I do not want to do that, you hear me? Stop talking to people like him and I will not be mad okay baby?”

You nodded your head as fast as possible. You knew you had no choice. It was the first time in your relationship you have seen San like this and it was immediate trauma. That mad face changing into a rapid smile… How little did you know him? To be honest, you did not want to know. You did not want to meet him with this behavior… with this characteristic. You were scared and that feeling would be the only thing that accompanies you. Because you would not get away from him. You were too weak. He made you remember that. Every day and every night he would manipulate you into thinking your weak self needed a man like him.

You gave in…

San: “It’s so good to have you my sweetheart…”

————————————————

Note: This just popped into my head and I wrote it down very quickly without really thinking.

Niwi~

faking a smile - kim hongjoong x reader

warnings: angst, fluff

wc: 777

hong joong could tell you weren’t feeling your best. even though you smiled, hong joong knew it wasn’t genuine. when you’re truly smiling, your eyes usually twinkle, but this time, your eyes don’t glow anymore; almost as if their spark has died. hong joong wanted to help you, hence why you’re sitting with him in the studio right now as he puts the last few touches on a song. he brought you to work with him because he doesn’t want to leave you alone.

you sit on the couch with your legs crossed and wrapped up in a blanket while playing a game on your phone. you can hear hongjoong sigh in relief, which lets you know he’s finished.

,,ready to go y/n?” hong joong asks as he slides his jacket on.

you nod and give a small smile.

as you’re about to get up, hong joong stops you by leaning over you until you’re centimeters apart from him.

,,y/n…before we leave, how are you?”

you avoid eye contact with him and put on a wide smile. ,,i’m fine! why are you asking so suddenly?”

he sighs and helps you up.

,,no reason.”

҂

the car ride is unnaturally silent. normally, you would initiate a conversation by bringing up any random topic that would then lead to you two either laughing or questioning the universe.

hong joong glances at you and notices your blank face. his heart breaks a little at the fact that you’re hiding how you truly feel because he never wants you to suffer in silence.

after a few moments, and to your surprise, the two of you were at the beach - one of your favorite places.

hong joong got out of the driver's seat to open your door on the passenger’s side. he takes your hand and leads you to the edge of the vast ocean.

it’s twilight now, and the ocean is glittering under the setting sun. the sky is painted with ongoing colors of purples, corals, pinks, and oranges.

,,y/n, do you trust me?” hong joong whispered just enough for you to hear him.

,,of course i do.” you answer without hesitation.

hong joong turns to your side and grasps both of your hands. his burning eyes urge you to make eye contact with him. without having to speak, his eyes show you every emotion he’s encapsulating within himself.

,,if you trust me, then why aren’t you being honest with me? you don’t need to pretend in front of me.”

his words cause your heart to palpitate. your hands suddenly become clammy and your ears warm up.

,,i- babe, i’m fine. i told you, i’m okay.”

hong joong was on the brink of tears as he watched you lie to him. he couldn’t help it anymore and embraced you with a warm hug. he said to you,

,,i know you’re not okay. please talk to me. i’m here for you and i love you more than anything. Please know that I care for you.”

at the sound of these words, tears being to stream down your face. before you know it, you’re full on sobbing at this point. all of the things you’ve pent up inside are being released through your tears.

hong joong doesn’t let you go as you fall to the ground and cry on his chest. eventually, your tears begin to dry up and hong joong now has a soaked shirt. you let out a small sorry before hongjoong holds your face in his hands.

,,whatever it is y/n, i’m listening.”

you tell hongjoong what’s been bothering you for the past few weeks and he listens without any judgement. He lightly traces patterns on your hand to comfort you. amazingly, you feel slightly better after you get your problems off your chest.

,,y/n, is that what’s been bothering you? why didn’t you tell me sooner? i could have helped you and comforted you.” hongjoong scolds.

you know he’s only scolding you out of love and you’re honestly grateful for that. It shows that he truly cares about you and wants the best for you.

it’s dark now; the moon is glowing on you, hongjoong, and the ocean. the atmosphere has a comfortable effect on the both of you.

standing up, hongjoong pulls you up alongside him and brings you in for a peck on the lips.

,,y/n…never do that again okay? i don’t want to see you hold onto that pain by yourself, okay?”

,,okay. I promise.”

The two of you then walk across the beach, giggling and playing with each other, but this time, your eyes are twinkling when you smile.

ateez masterlist ♡

— key ; smut (s) , angst (a) , fluff (f) , mature (m)

©️ All Rights Reserved

All stories are MINE (minus features) please respect my wishes and do NOT transfer any work to any other platform without my permission! ♡

「 OT8 」

《 coming soon 》

「 Kim Hongjoong 」

《 coming soon 》

「 Park Seonghwa 」

《 coming soon 》

「 Jung Yunho 」

《 coming soon 》

「 Kang Yeosang 」

《 coming soon 》

「 Choi San 」

《 coming soon 》

「 Song Mingi 」

Good To Be Home (f)

genre : idol!au, idol!Mingi, atiny!reader, fluff

— in which Mingi returns from his mental health break and you welcome him home

「 Jung Wooyoung 」

《 coming soon 》

「 Choi Jongho 」

《 coming soon 》

♡ ATEEZ MASTERLIST ♡

♡ BTS MASTERLIST ♡

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Pairing: Ceo!Jongho x fembody!coworker!reader (gn pronouns)

Summary: After an unexpected turn from a creepy colleague, you’re left within the comfort of your cold boss, Choi Jongho. However, he leaves you with an alluring offer of something more…

Genre: angst, heavily suggestive, comfort, slight fluff

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: reader!is!harassed, reader!cries!, making out, mentions of possessiveness!, claiming!, choking! and hickeys

Please let me know if I’ve missed anything <33

Bzz, bzzzzzzz.

Bzz, bzzzzzzz.

Your phone vibrated with the soft echoing dingles of your alarm, gradually arousing you from your tranquil sleep. You yawned and stretched, taking satisfaction in the crackling of several bones along the curve of your spine. You sluggishly sat up, searching blindly for your phone, your hair and sheets a tangled mess. Once it was in your grasp, you quickly turned the alarm off, rubbing your face in tired motions as you took a moment to gather your bearings. You checked the time, squinting an eye in the process as the painful glare from your phone illuminated the room.

5:31 am.

With a sigh, you reluctantly crawled out of your warm, comfortable bed, making your way to the chilly bathroom as you scratched the back of your neck lazily. You twisted the sink tap, splashing cool, refreshing water across your face and neck, eradicating the last remaining hints of drowsiness from your body. You stumbled out to your wardrobe, hurriedly selecting a silk white blouse and a black pencil skirt, paired with a matching set of black lace undergarments for your work attire of the day. You strolled back into your bathroom, shutting the door behind you as you went.

You’ve been working for Choi Enterprise for the past two years under new CEO, Choi Jongho, whom overtook his father’s position as heir of the company for the past six months. Unlike his father, he exerted an intimidating and unrelenting energy that sent chills to your bones. He always wore a poker face and rarely ever spoke unless required to, more often than not resorting to unnerving stares and short, direct sentences when he conversed. Even the way he walked was domineering, his presence alone striking a quiver in your knees. It unsettled you… but also ignited a deep hunger within you. You couldn’t deny it - he was a handsome man, and his dominant aura just made you want to be railed by him even more; his strong, muscular arms choking you as he trailed bruising hickeys across your neck and chest as he possessively claimed you with each thrust. Is that too much to ask?

You brought a sharp slap to your cheek, snapping yourself out of your dreamy state. He’s your BOSS for god’s sake Y/N, you scolded yourself as an embarrassed flush began to bloom across your cheeks. With a shake of your head, you checked the time once more.

7:15 am.

“SHIT I’M GOING TO BE LATE,” you cried, quickly finishing your meal and slipping on your shiny black stilettos as you grabbed your purse and keys, and opened the door, haphazardly exiting your home as you headed to work.

Twenty minutes later, you arrived on time and stood outside Choi Enterprise, the tall skyscraper looming over your microscopic figure. With a deep breath, you smiled and entered the building, the echo of your clacking heels announcing your presence as you steadily walked to the elevator, swiping your key card as you entered and selecting your floor number. Soon after, you arrived on your level and stepped out, basking in the bright morning light through the crystal windows. Just as you made your way to your desk, your coworker, Madison, rushed over, plonking an array of files and loose forms on your workspace and panted.

“Woah, are you okay? You seem like you ran a mile,” You asked concerned as she propped her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose. “We have meeting… with… Choi,” she gasped. “He wants.. see.. propositions… NOW.” A surge of cold dread ignited in your stomach, your jaw falling slack and your eyes widening at the sudden news. “Oh fuck,” you hissed, scrambling wildly through your draws to find your folio and USB. “I thought it was next week?!” You cried as panic began to settle in when you couldn’t find your business proposals. “He moved it up.. to today.. two minutes ago,” she inhaled deeply, finally composing herself. “Julian said that he didn’t know what spurred his decision, but he looked furious.” That was never good hearing it first-hand from his secretary; he must’ve been really pissed.

Finally, you grasped the dark navy blue folder attached to a ziplock bag stapled to its exterior with a USB sealed inside. A wave of relief washed over you. At least I haven’t fucked up yet. “Okay, let’s go.” You briskly ran to the board room with Madison in tow, mentally going over your presentation and the key points you’ll be stating. When you arrived, you saw Julian waiting for you both outside, ushering you in with urgent motions. “Be aware,” he whispered behind you. “The beast has awoken.” You gave a small nod as you and Madison piled into the room, Julian closing the door behind him as he left to go escort Jongho. Silent chaos encased the room as everyone hurriedly shuffled around, bowing their head slightly in acknowledgment as they passed. You sat at your designated seat, grateful for your earlier preparation as you let out a long breath, sinking into the fabric of the black chair.

“Well hello to you too princess,” a flirtatious voice spoke, bile rising within your mouth as an unamused expression plastered on your face. A faux tight-lipped smile graced your lips as you sat up, seeing the man that you despised most in the world sitting across from you. “Oh I’m sorry Rufus, I didn’t see you there.” He leisurely gazed his eyes up and down your attire, a sickening smirk twitching the corners of his mouth. You internally cringed. “You look gorgeous princess,” he whistled, a sultry look evident in his eyes.

You shifted uncomfortably and ignored his comment. Just as he was about to say something else, Jongho stormed into the room, everyone suddenly standing to attention and bowing in unison. “Let’s start,” he stated as he threw his file onto the table and sat in his seat, everyone following suit in silence. “Mr. Jones,” he called out as Rufus shot his head up. “Yes Mr. Choi?” “You present your proposal first.” Everyone turned their heads to Jongho, confusion and shock on everyone’s faces. Usually, he followed a particular order; starting from you and ending with Rufus. Why did he do that? you pondered, landing your gaze onto Rufus. He gulped, his eyes wide in surprise. “U-um,” all eyes turned to him. His hands visibly shook as Jongho waited patiently for his reply. Any sympathy drained away as a subtle smirk spread on your lips at his loss for words. Oh this was going to be good.

“W-we have nothing to present sir,” Rufus hung his head in shame as everyone held their breath. The room stood still. “Mr Jones, what is our company’s policy?” Jongho asked. “Be ready and prepared at all times, sir,” he responded. “And do you admit that you failed to fulfil this as an employee of this company?” “Yes sir,” Rufus poked his cheek with his tongue, embarrassment flushing across his neck. “Finish your proposal by next Tuesday and we’ll reevaluate your work ethic at this company,” he concluded, tapping his files together and leaning back against his seat as Rufus hung his head in humiliation and shame. Damn, your heart raced, that was attractive. “Miss L/N,” he turned his head to you, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Yes Mr Choi?” “Present your proposal for us please.” A small smile curved on your lips. “Certainly sir,” you stood up and made your way to the large screen, plugging your USB into the side and beginning your presentation.

After you finished, the room erupted in applause as you took a deep bow. Quickly, you gathered your things and sat back down. “Well done Miss L/N,” a proud smile splayed across his face. A surge of pride swirled within you as you nodded your head in acknowledgement. “Thank you Mr Choi.” “Now Ms Kahn, please present yours.” Ms Kahn nodded and stood up to present her idea. Suddenly, you felt something hard brush against your ankle. You flittered your gaze downward and noticed it was Rufus’ shoe trailing against you. You looked up as you met his enraged stare. Oh no, this can’t be good. The colour began to drain from your face as he slowly climbed higher, slowly inching towards your inner thigh. You shuffled your chair back in hopes to be out of reach.

His face contorted into a sneer as he dropped his foot, stopping his antics and setting his focus back on Ms Kahn. You eyed him disgustingly as you followed suit, calming yourself and ignoring the panic coursing through your veins. Unnoticed by you, Rufus knocked his pen onto the floor. He bent down to grab it, crawling further and further under the table. Coincidentally, his knuckle skimmed against your leg, causing you to jolt back as a pair of seething eyes witnessed the scene unfold. “We will continue this tomorrow, everyone is dismissed,” Jongho abruptly announced, interrupting Ms Kahn’s proposition and halting Rufus’ motions.

Seamlessly, he stood up, sending a flirtatious wink in your direction. Disgust morphed onto your face as you cringed, swallowing the fear of what could have happened if it wasn’t for Jongho’s impeccable timing. Just as you were about to exit, Jongho called out. “Except for you, Miss L/N.” Your body froze. What did he see? You turned around and bowed your head, obeying his instruction and standing still next to the doorway. Rufus was the last to leave as he strutted past you, a satisfied grin encasing his vile face as an angry gaze burned into the back of his skull. The door closed behind him. Silence engulfed the room.

Jongho stood up and made his way to you. He positioned himself directly in front of you, keeping a distance and his hands situated in his pockets. Your body trembled in nervousness. “Look at me,” he spoke softly. Startled by his gentle tone, you glanced upwards, noticing a forbearing smile on his lips. “Are you okay?” You looked away and bit your lip as you felt the familiar sting of tears brim your eyes. You nodded. Unconvinced, he gingerly stepped closer and gently placed a hand under your chin, tilting it towards his face. “It’s okay,” he cooed. “You’re safe.” Your facade caved as a tsunami of sobs escaped your throat. He carefully embraced your shuddering body, whispering caring and sweet phrases as you released your distress and fear into his chest. “I-I was s-so scared,” you choked. “Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here. You’re safe with me,” he gently patted your back in conforms as you continued to cry.

After a moment, your tears were dried, emotional relief encasing you as you inhaled a long deep breath. Jongho stepped back, his hands placed on your shoulders. “You okay now?” Your glassy eyes gazed into his as you nodded. He felt his heart skip a beat. Suddenly, your eyes widened at his soaking black shirt, realisation hitting you like a truck. “O-oh my gosh I’m so sorry,” you hurriedly pulled away to grab some tissues, only to have your wrists tenderly held in his strong grip. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got some spares in my office.” He gazed at you in a soft and affectionate manner, causing you to shyly look away. He gently brought his hand up to cup your face, stroking your tear-stained cheeks. Your heart fluttered. “Don’t let him get to you, okay?” You bit your lip as you nodded, your adorable doe eyes striking a chord in his heart.

As if possessed, he leant down to your face, his warm breath cascading against you as a shiver crept up your spine. Delicately, he placed a peck against your lips, once, twice, and then kissed you. Your body froze in shock, taking you a moment to grasp the situation. Suddenly, he pulled back, realising what he just did. “I-I-,” he stuttered as an embarrassed rouge reddened his neck, shyly fidgeting his fingers. Admiration surged within you at his cuteness, now seeing the unveiling of a mere sweet, flustered boy twiddling his thumbs compared to the stoic man you usually know.

Ah fuck it, you thought as you stepped closer and brought his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. In an instant, he kissed back, your lips moulding one another’s in a slow, feverish make out. You prodded your tongue against his mouth, silently asking for permission. He let you in as you both battled for dominance, his hand snaking to the back of you head and waist as he pressed you closer. He carefully shifted positions and leant you against the table, trapping you in his hold, his domineering presence back again. He gently pulled away, eyes glazed with lust and hunger as he stepped away, admiring the view of you panting and disheveled against the table.

“Fuck..” he sighed, clenching his jaw as he resisted the urge to rail you senseless. He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts and composing himself. He brushed his hair back and readjusted his tie, making his way to the door. “Meet me in my office at 6:00 if you want to continue where we left off.” With that Jongho calmly stormed out, leaving you perplexed and shocked. You just witnessed the duality of your boss.. and my lord both sides were attractive. Who knew such an intimidating, cold man could be so shy and sympathetic yet so hot and controlling? You glanced at the clock on the wall.

8:06 am.

Your head lolled back, huffing out a sigh. “Now I’ve gotta wait for fucking ten hours just to get laid,” you groaned, wondering what you were going to do with the dampness in your panties. Suddenly, you sat up. A devilish smirk carved your face as an ingenious idea came to your mind. Oh he’s going to feel it…

But so will you.

Part 2?

A/N: Hi again, thank you so so much for reading my fic :)) I was originally going to do this as one big fic, however, I ran out of time and so part two will be uploaded next week 12pm GMT on Sunday. (I can’t leave y’all on a cliff hanger for too long <33)

As always, please feel free to reblog on tumblr, give me any feedback (all is welcome), and if you have any fic ideas/thoughts please send them in my bio and I’ll make sure to tag you in the post. Have a wonderful day/night and I hope to see y’all soon <33

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Back to [Navigation], [Part 1]

Pairing: Ceo!Jongho x fembody!coworker!reader (gn pronouns)

Summary: After being forced to wait for over ten hours to get laid, you decided to take matters in your own hands.

Genre: smut, little fluff and hint of angst

Word Count: 1.5k+

Warnings: unedited!, dom!Jongho, sub!reader, possessive!behaviour!, praising!, breeding!, unprotected!sex! (wrap it before you tap it), cream!pie!, pet names (baby, good girl, sweet girl, slut), choking!, bondage!, manhandling!, mentions of yandere! and degrading!

Please let me know if I’ve missed anything <33

Exactly nine hours and forty nine minutes ago, you and your boss, Choi Jongho, had a make out session after he comforted you from an uncomfortable experience with your work colleague, Rufus Jones. Despite on the verge of fucking, he left you stranded and horny, only agreeing to fuck you after hours in his office. You were in utter disbelief of this man’s audacity. Ten fucking hours.. just to get laid. What the fuck were you to do?

By sending explicit selfies to him of course. 🤭

You were in an impatient and bratty mood after his sudden retreat, so why not give him a taste of his own medicine? With your conjured scheme in mind, you quickly scrolled through your hidden folder of nudes and boudoir pics, selecting a series of ten sultry photos that adorned your body in various laces and fabrics. Every hour, you sent one to him accompanied with a dirty text, each one filthier than the previous. Was it stupid? Maybe. Was it petty? Perhaps. Would it get you railed senseless?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

And here you are now, patiently waiting outside his office door. You checked the time.

5:59 pm.

You took a deep breath. Time to send the last one. With slightly trembling hands, you grabbed your phone out of your pocket and sent the last photo.

Y/N: I’m outside

You began to bite your thumb nail. Your body twitched at every sound as you stared intently at the screen. Not even a second later, he saw the message. Adrenaline began to course through your veins as excitement lapped in your stomach. Before he could respond, you knocked on the door, your hands slightly trembling in anticipation. You hear a faint “enter” echo from inside and you slowly opened the door and stepped into the room. There he was, sat in his leather chair and gazing at his phone, a stone expression plastered on his face.

You closed the door and stood there, waiting patiently. The tense atmosphere engulfed the room, the soft ticking of the clock rebounding against the cool grey walls. You swallowed as your fingers twitched behind your back. You began to get nervous as the near silence continued to stretch. Finally, he looked up as his eyes pierced into yours in an unwavering stare. Your breath hitched. Slowly, he stood up as he leisurely paced his way to you, loosening his tie and adjusting his wrist watch in the process. The closer and closer he got, the more you stepped back as your confidence began to gradually ebb away.

Suddenly, you felt the cool wood of the door press against your back. A shocked gasp forced from you throat. Jongho slammed his fist against the door, sending a jolt through your body. Your heart pounded. A seething primal hunger surged in his eyes as his domineering presence loomed over your shuddering frame. You left out a soft whimper. His stare bore into yours as silence hung in the room, observing your body from head to toe. You felt a red hot rouge bloom against your cheeks as your averted your gaze. He delicately placed his finger under your chin, tilting your eyes to meet his lustful ones. He had you right where he wanted.

“So,” he spoke condescendingly. “My pretty baby decided she wanted to be bratty today.” He snaked his finger down below your chin and towards your neck, wrapping his hand around it in a threatening position. You bit your lip, twiddling your thumbs in agitation. You could feel your arousal slowly seep through your black lacy thong. Subtly, you began to rub your legs together to ease the ache, only to be shoved onto the couch and your legs forced apart with his thick thigh. He pinned your wrists in his iron grip as he mockingly tutted, undoing his black leather belt with his free hand. “Naughty baby,” he cooed. “Getting yourself off without my permission. What should I do with you for being so disobedient?”

His belt clattered against the soft leather as your hands began to perspire in nervousness. You began to squirm, your throbbing pussy rubbing against the expanse of his thigh in desperate need for attention. However, your motions were halted by light slap against your leg. A forced yelp erupted from your throat. “Now, now baby,” he brought his belt up towards your hands. “Only good girls get what they want, not slutty little brats that send nudes throughout the day.” He began to bind your wrists together with his belt, roughly tugging it to make sure it was tight.

“Now princess,” he looks you directly into your eyes. “I’m going to need full cooperation on this. If at any given time you feel uncomfortable or want to stop, say the word ‘red’ and we’ll be done for the night. Am I understood?” You let out a small nod. “Yes Jongho.” A gentle smile graced his lips as he lent down to peck your cheek. “Such a good girl for me.” You felt your heart flutter. Slowly, he began to leave wet kisses against your neck as he unbuttoned your white blouse. He ripped the sides of your top, a shocked gasp echoing the room at his sudden roughness. A gradually snaked his hands to your black pencil skirt and teasingly pulled it down, dropping your black stilettos on the floor along with it. An audible groan expelled from his chest as he captured your figure in your black lace lingerie. “So fucking gorgeous,” he slithered his hand from your abdomen to your throat. “And all for me.”

With that, he smashed your lips together in a passionate kiss, squeezing his hand around your throat. With his free hand, he trailed his finger down, pressing against your damp heat. You released a small squeak as you felt a drip of arousal escape your sopping pussy. He entered his tongue into your mouth as he shoved aside your panties and entered two fingers.

You flung your head back, whining at the slight stretch of his thick phalanges slowly pumping in and out of you at a fast steady pace. He spaced love bites across your collar bone and shoulder, earning a violent shudder when his fingers touched a particular spot. “J-Jongho,” you whimpered, rocking your hips back and fourth to meet his movements. “S-slow down, please.” A dark chuckle rumbled in his chest. “Such a sweet girl asking so nicely,” he pinched your clit, making you jump from the sudden sensation. “But did you forget about your earlier actions?”

You thrashed your fists against the cool leather couch as a pornographic moan echoed around the room. “I-I’m sorry Jongho, I w-want to be y-you’re good girl, please I’m s-sorry,” you begged pathetically as a glassy sheen glossed your eyes. Your pants became heavier as you squeezed his fingers tighter and tighter. “Is my pretty baby going to cum?” He cooed as he continued his brutal antics. You vigorously nodded as your mouth hung agape, bridging closer and closer to your long awaited orgasm.

He abruptly pulling his fingers out and shoving your ruined panties down to your ankles. Before you could complain, he swiftly shoved his shaft into your soaking puss. “J-JONGHO,” you cried as he pounded into you with a bruising speed. He tightened his hold against your neck, leaning down to your ear. “Rufus almost saw the photos you sent today,” he seethed. “Almost saw your gorgeous figure.. god he would have killed to be here right now, seeing you splayed out against my couch and being the obedient slut you are. Tell me, would you have let him fuck you like I am right now?”

“NO,” you howled as a burning white rimmed the edges of your vision. “Would you have let him claim you like I am now?” “NO,” you whined, teetering on the edge of your orgasm. “Maybe I should breed you, just so everyone will know who you belong to. You would like that wouldn’t you, slut? Showcasing you fucked you so hard that you got pregnant.” You gushed over his length, a loud gasp echoing the room as you came on his length. “F-fuck,” Jongho released a guttural moan as he expelled his load inside of you, his warmth spreading inside your gummy walls. You collapsed against the couch, the cool leather soothing your flushed skin as Jongho continued to steadily thrust in your full heat.

Slowly, he pulled out, his cock dripping in both your seeds. He carefully untied your wrists and sat you on his lap, your head lolling against his neck as your arms dropped over his shoulders. He gentle stroked your back, lulling you into an exhausted slumber. After a few moments, Jongho felt your breathing slow and heard your quiet snores. A loving smile splayed across his lips as he admired your tranquil state, a warmth kindling within his chest. Gingerly, he reached for his phone and pressed the send button before laying you both on the couch and drifting off to sleep.

Jongho: *Rufus’ address*

If you ever think of even breathing near Y/N again, I will come and slit your throat myself.

A/N: Here’s part two of the “A Man of Few Words” and tbh, I think I could’ve definitely done better with this. To me it just feels a bit rushed, but hopefully I’ll get better in the future. Idk what else to say this week wasn’t just my week and I’m sorry :/

As always, please feel free to reblog on tumblr, give me any feedback (all is welcome), and if you have any fic ideas/thoughts please send them in my bio and I’ll make sure to tag you in the post. Have a wonderful day/night and I hope to see y’all soon <33

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SKIN – 정윤호

synopsis . in which yunho soothes you after your boyfriend breaks up with you.

pairing . jeong yunho & fem! reader

genre . fluff, angst, lovers to exes (reader with her bf), friends to lovers?, non idol!au

taglist . @bro-atz @purplenimsicle @vampzity @iykyunho @yyaurii | comment your username if you wanna be added to my permanent taglist! ♡

word count . 2,4k

DISCLAIMER! cursing, slight degradation (yn is called a “bitch” by her boyfriend), lots of tears, yn’s got a boyfriend whose name is never mentioned, yn in here has dark hair (sorry for my light-haired babes, it’s just for the plot), sabrina carpenter sad songs (yes, that goes as a warning), physical and psychological insecurities, cutest pet names (princess, baby, love, yun & more), body worshipping, just softie bsf yuyu showing all his love to reader ><

NIC’S NOTES this fic has a piece of my heart, i put all my poet ass in it lmao. ofc it’s inspired in “skin” by sabrina carpenter (song rec alert !!). enjoy, dearsss <3

“come to my place. now” was what you had told yunho when you called him. and no more words nor explanations were needed for him to rush into your studio apartment’s door.

a soft knock reverberated across the gloomy room while you were too busy rotting on your sofa, a feather pillow was pressed against your pale face by your hands as they grasped the fluffy material. you groaned before forcing your body up, your stocking feet idly searching for your black and white slippers. tired body shuffling its way to your door.

you swung your door open revealing your best friend’s figure, enveloped in an oversized hoodie, hands busy holding a basket full of your favorite sweets and scented candles. you also could take a peek at some teabags, also of your preferences. “bought some things on my way here. you sounded a bit off so i thought these could make you feel better.” he muttered as he analyzed your state, smudged mascara on your cheeks catching his attention.

your boyfriend of two years had called you to ask you if you were free tonight. as excitement rushed through your veins, you accepted frantically; you hadn’t seen him in so long since he was on some sort of business trip, you didn’t know. he didn’t clarify what it was for and you didn’t even bother asking, limiting yourself to only wish him the best and tell him how much you love him and to be safe. your small studio apartment felt so small and empty without his joyful presence, yunho having to fill the void. but finally, finally, the two weeks; fourteen days; 336 hours, and fifty minutes passed, though they did at the pace of a turtle.

you tracked the flight of the airplane he was in as the two-weeks-accumulated anxiety was overflowing you. when your screen informed you that he’d arrive in only ten minutes, you changed your clothes, did your makeup as fast as lightning, and drove, ignoring a few traffic signs, to the airport. and you waited, and waited, and waited. he never showed up.

with all the people that passed you by while you lingered in that airport, you tried to convince yourself that maybe he was there or that his flight was delayed. the most nonsensical excuses were formed in your head. you were quick to grab your phone, slide your finger across your screen, and type anxiously against it, your eyes moving from side to side, up and down, looking for his contact.

to love: “where are u”

to love: “have u arrived yet?”

no response. your feet were starting to feel your weight too much, feeling sore as the minutes passed. a teardrop threatened to roll off your cheekbone but you resisted, holding onto a miserable bit of hope. and then it started raining, the heavy drops hammering the walls made of glass of the airport and you heaved a sigh. a part of you refusing to accept that he wasn’t there and that you had to rot in a cold, lonely bed again for god knows how much time. your index finger was firmly placed on the on and off button of your phone, checking your screen every five seconds, envisioning the relieving sound of a “ding” indicating that he had finally replied to you. sadly, it didn’t.

although, he had taken the time to answer to your desperate messages four days later, you were still excited to meet your lover again, after being apart for such a long time. you were supposed to have a pretty dinner date at his place, or at least that’s how you interpreted his words. actually he had said “we need to catch up! come to my place by 6”, but you still dolled up as if you were modeling on the fucking red carpet. and you regretted it so much.

a few sips of the sparkling champagne were enough for you to start confessing how much you had missed him and everything you had done in his absence. your crystallized bubble crumbled down so fast, though. only five words, five damn words were necessary for your eyes to start welling up with precious teardrops.

“we need to break up.” he had said. emotionless. as if he was giving you the fucking hour.

“what. why?” your eyes peered down his soul as you tried to retain a few tears that already demanded their release. you processed his words and spoke, “and what do you mean by need?” 

your scattered voice didn’t hurt him. not at all. “i’ve been hiding something from you for… too much time.” you gasped. your ears tickling in anticipation. “sorry, but i’m in love with… someone else.”

the glass of champagne that rested on your hand on the edge of the table slipped off it and met the floor, the crystal and liquor spread all over it, messing its neatness up. tears started to flow down your heated cheekbones, your bottom lip caught between your teeth. “how long?”

your simple question received a simpler answer. “eight months.”

your throat ran dry but you still managed to speak back through gritted teeth. “eight months. was i not enough for you? were those eight months happier for you?”

he stood up, now both of you speaking face-to-face. frown brows decorated his expression. “why bother telling you?”

“answer me!” you demanded, your voice and heart naturally breaking with each passing second near him.

“fine. those were the best months of my life. she’s the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen, her soul is just as bright as her blonde hair. she treats me like a king, yn. and what have i gotten with you? nothing but just shitty nights, crying myself to sleep because of our never-ending fights.” he breathed before continuing, “don’t you understand that you’re nothing compared to her?”

he deadpanned and you couldn’t bring yourself to hold eye contact. your knuckles turned clearer as you tightened your fist. “fuck you.”

you didn’t think twice before standing up and making your way out of that unforgettable apartment, not daring to look back; you managed to hear a faint “you asked, bitch!”. once you walked out of the building and entered your car, you fell apart. mascara stains all over your face and smudged lipstick around your mouth. the tight grip you maintained on the steering wheel was alternative in function of not breaking your fist by punching a concrete wall. you turned up the radio, desperately looking for a song that’d cheer you up. but “opposite” by sabrina carpenter started playing.

you drove home with the singer’s soothing voice and melody in the background as the lyric was blabbered by your broken self, hitting naturally differently. at this point, your face was a mess, unlocking a new feature of you. before arriving home, you thought of yunho. yes, he’d definitely be the solution —or distraction— of all this disarray. so you typed “yuyu” on the contacts’ search bar, rapidly hitting the call button.

and he picked up so fast, promising you to be at your place in 10. and here he was, wrapping your core with his large arms in a warm, much-needed hug. you allowed the rest of the teardrops that hadn’t fallen to do so, a patch of wetness on yunho’s hoodie.

“do you wanna talk about it?” his soothing voice comforting you. he waited patiently for you to recompose and be able to formulate non-blabbered sentences.

“it’s him, yun.” your words were muffled by his cloth, yet still audible for yunho to comprehend. “he cheated on me.” you lifted your face up his chest, teary-eyed. “for eight fucking months.”

genuinely, yunho never liked your boyfriend. there was just something about him that triggered yunho, so he rejected him from the very first start. still, he didn’t say anything about his repudiation towards your boyfriend since he was a witness of how much you adored him. the little girl grin your lips would form every time you talked about him was so cute. a facet of him wished that smile to be caused only because of him though. he’d tell you how he felt about your boyfriend, but not now. not when he has you breaking down on his arms.

“come on, princess. let’s lie on the couch.” he mumbled as he scooped you in his arms, holding you soundly. idly, you enveloped your arms around his toned neck and hid your messed-up face in the crook of his neck. due to his height and the small space of your apartment, five steps were enough for him to lay your core all along the fluffy, light-colored couch, your ankles hanging off of its armrest. he sat next to your head and you lifted it a bit, indicating to put his legs under your nape to use his thighs as a pillow.

he trailed his hand up and down your untied hair, alleviating your pain away. “what did he tell you, hm?”

you exhaled deeply, remembering his harsh words, your irises being covered by a watered shield for the nth time that night. yunho’s thumb rushing up your eyes and brush them away. “nonono, baby.” he whispered tenderly, swelling your heart up even more. a moment of silence was given to you by him. “take a deep breath for me.”

your chest rose and fell as you followed yunho’s instructions, your teary eyes locked with his, full of sweetness and affection. his thumb still working on the inconstant waterfall that kept flowing down your cheeks. you kept your breathing pace calm and collected, a proud, beaming smile adorning his face. “that’s it, sweetheart. just like that” he kept quiet for a moment before speaking again. “whenever you feel ready, just vent with me.”

five minutes passed and yunho didn’t seem bothered because of it. hell, he’d give you all the existing time for you to get over that jackass. he adored you way too much and thought that you were too beautiful to be crumbling down because of him. and he didn’t have to say it, his eyes spoke for him, perfectly reflecting his devotion to you.

your deep sigh pulled him out of his trance. and you finally started spilling out all your thoughts. “i asked him if i wasn’t enough for him and if he had spent those eight months with her happily. i don’t even know why i did that. i must be some sort of a masochist” you said causing yunho to let out a breathy chuckle. “he said that they were. and that she’s the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, with a soul as bright as her hair.” his words tattooed on your skull. your voice nearly broke. “and that i’m nothing compared to her.”

“and did you believe him?” he questioned. “do you?”

“i—“ you stammered, not knowing your response. your misery and self-love were tearing you down to pieces. “i don’t know, yun.”

“and you’re so wrong for that.” he stated and you tilted your head slightly in confusion. “honey. look at you” his hand flew down your thighs, caressing the upper part of them. “your legs, so smooth and strong. ready to take your beautiful soul to any corner of the world.” he continued his path up to your arms, stroking them. “your arms, so slimmed and powerful. they make you look like a little defenseless girl when in reality you can knock tons of people with just your fist.” you choked a chuckle, flattered because of his praise, which seemed to be never-ending since he kept on going, his long palm rubbing your covered abdomen. “your perfect sized-belly with the most hypnotizing curves known to man.” he dedicated a few seconds of his journey along your core to draw soft circles on your waist. and he moved on, reaching your neck. gentle fingers grazed its sides. “your neck, covered in the most perfect constellation of freckles.”

you giggled, your skin way too flushed since you were locked in a prison of praises. “okay, yun. we got your poin—“

he shushed you right away. “mm. i’m not done yet.” his right hand cupped one side of your face, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. “your cheeks. so cute whenever you’re nervous or embarrassed. like right now.” he admired the view of your pinkish skin for a bit longer before locking his honey-dripping gaze with yours, now completely absent of tears. “and your eyes. your intoxicating, saturn-like eyes. the little beam that always shines in them reminds me of the stars, y’ know?” he confessed. “and don’t even get me started with your endearing, beautiful soul.”

the palm of your hand cradled his face, his head tilting against your touch as he covered it with his own. “yunho..”

your whisper tickled his heart. “yes, love?”

your heart ached for healing, its wounds crying out for solace. you firmly believed that yunho’s lips held the remedy you so desperately sought, a cure capable of mending the fractured pieces of your soul. you stood before him, every beat of your heart echoed with hope and longing. when yunho finally leaned in, his kiss was more than just a touch—it was a gentle balm that eased your pain, restoring a sense of wholeness you hadn’t felt in months. in that moment, you knew that the healing you had yearned for was not only possible but was unfolding before you, one tender kiss at a time.

as yunho’s lips lingered on yours, you felt a warmth spread through you, an escape from the lingering chill of your recent heartbreak. even though you knew in the back of your mind that you should give yourself time to heal, to focus on your own recovery and self-discovery, the desire to be close to yunho overpowered your rational thoughts. his kiss was a sanctuary from the storm of emotions, a fleeting moment of solace that you clung to desperately.

when he finally pulled away, his eyes searched yours with a mix of concern and affection. you could see that he understood the uncertainty you were feeling, but he chose to respect your vulnerability. “you don’t have to rush anything,” he said softly, “i’m here for you. no matter what.”

you nodded, a mixture of gratitude and confusion in your eyes. “i know,” you whispered. “i just... needed this.”

yunho took your hand gently, his touch comforting and reassuring. “take all the time you need,” he said. “i’ll be right here.”

as you let the tender moment just end, you felt a mix of emotions swirling inside you. the healing process was far from over, but yunho’s presence gave you a glimmer of hope. you knew that it’d take time to rebuild and to understand what you truly needed, but for now, you allowed yourself to cherish the connection you shared with him. the road ahead was uncertain, but at least you weren’t walking it alone.

| masterlist

TEACHER'S PET - J. YUNHO

SUMMARY : being a fan of Jane Austen's novels, you should have guessed that your attraction for complicated love stories would put you in trouble at some point. but you wouldn't have imagined that the trouble in question would be named Jeong Yunho - your favourite professor.

-> pairing : literature professor!yunho x student fem!reader

-> words count : 30.4 k

-> genre : college au, smut & angst

-> warnings (w. some spoilers of the plot) : soft!dom!yunho x sub!reader, teasing, dirty talk, praising, marking, hair pulling, doggy, protected and unprotected sex, creampie, body worship, use of 'good girl' and 'slut', oral (f. and m. receiving), deep throating, cum play, manhandling, fingering, begging, riding, semi-public sex, yunho has a big cock, hand kink, facefucking, drunk sex, yunho is calling reader angel (yes, that's a warning), age gap (8 years), mention of fwb relationship w. san, cheating, mentions of family issues, self-depreciation

+ the way i'm depicting yunho does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.

-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language

-> author's note : should i say sorry for the enormous word count ? maybe. will i apologize ? not at all because i'm so fucking proud of this fic. it might be one of my favourite things i've ever written, i quite fell in love with reader this time lmaoo. i started the process of the plot back in january, and it took me more than 3 months to write this but it's amazing in my opinion, so i hope you'll like it as much as i loved writting it ! also that is such a detail but yes, prices are in euros in this fic because i'm french and i cannot physically write dollars and not feel weird, i'm sorry, bear with it. i should also say sorry for the angst but it don't wanna either, i already cried to myself when i put it into words, it's your turn to suffer.

-> playlist : older by isabel larosa - white mustang by lana del ray - crazy in love by sofia carlberg - middle of the night by elley duhé - reflections by the neighborhood - daddy issues by the neighborhood - babydoll by ari abdul - easier by bernard park - i love you by billie eilish

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist

Jeong Yunho had been the big sensation and the object of all conversations since he started teaching at your university. It was during your freshman year that he joined your college as the new professor of British literature. And honestly, just knowing that you wouldn’t be forced to listen to an old man repeating the same story about how he almost won the Pulitzer Prize twenty years ago over and over was already a relief. But the fact that your new teacher was also very attractive did get you even more interested in his classes. 

Of course, at first, you were like all the other girls on campus, gushing over how handsome Mr. Jeong was, and how well the suits he always wore were perfectly fitting his tall frame. But you quickly discovered a dedicated and very good professor. He helped your whole promotion to go over all the things your old teacher should have presented to you, and thanks to him, you passed your exams. So even if you couldn’t ignore that he was very, very hot, you were mostly glad to have a professor as passionate as you about literature - his handsomeness was only the cherry on top. 

Every time you had a class with him, you knew that this was about to be a good day, because they were always stimulating and never boring. And maybe, just maybe it was because you were always trying to contradict him. In your defense, Mr. Jeong always led you to approach a new subject with an interesting or controversial point of view, and you were often disagreeing, or had things to say about it. And since not many people in your class were really interested in British literature and were only here to admire your teacher for one or two hours, it was not rare for him and you to end up debating about anything and everything. And today was no exception.

“- What do you want me to say Y/N ? This is how things are, I can’t change them.

- Then you’ll have to convince me, Mr. Jeong.”

Your professor chuckled while shaking his head. You were always like this, always trying to get him to surrender and admit that you had the right answer. Yunho didn’t really understand if it was because you liked to be right or simply because you loved a little bit of challenge, but either way, he appreciated how attentive you were to his classes, and how you were trying to question everything every single time. It was stimulating for the class, for you, and even for him. 

“- In this precise case, it is not my job to do that. The fact that you have your opinion on the subject is a very good thing, but there is no right or wrong answer. What we are trying to do here is simply to interpret what message Poe wanted to convey, we can never be sure if our interpretation is the one he had in mind. And I would love to continue this debate but it’s time for you to go, so don’t forget to read the extract of Wuthering Heights I gave you and I’ll see you next week.” 

You rapidly packed up your things to run back to your dorms. Friday often meant a girl’s night out with your two best friends, and you wanted to have enough time to get ready. You three always got to the same bar where you met each other, one of the first nights you went out during your first year of college. You crossed paths with Lola first, the barmaid having messed up both of your cocktail orders. And both of you clicked instantly, despite her being two years older than you. At one point, while you were dancing together, you noticed a girl alone being clearly annoyed by a guy who repeatedly tried to touch her. So your new friend and you acted like you knew her and forced the guy to go away. It turned out that the girl you had kind of saved, Dia, was in the same major as you. You ended up spending the night all together and you kept in touch after that.

And despite Lola having finished her studies before Dia and you, she stayed around the city because of her work. So once in a while, you took the opportunity to go out at the bar where you met. And tonight was one of those nights, and after the exhausting week you had, you kinda needed it anyway. Your roommate, Dajeong, helped choose your outfit and you got ready together because she was also going out with some of her friends, chatting about your days and the new rumours about the basketball team. And of course, you had to dress up a little, putting on a skimpy, little black dress that did wonders to underline the curves of your body. During these concert nights you were going to, there were always a lot of pretty attractive men playing instruments, and that kinda got you going. So you didn’t put away the thought of finishing the night in someone else’s bed. 

Dia picked you up to go to the bar where you joined Lola and immediately ordered your favourite drink. It felt good to finally rest after the awful week you had. It all started on Monday, when you slept in and missed your first class of the morning. And because you had to rush to the second, you forgot your lunch at home and the charger of your laptop. On Thursday, you forgot about the work session you had with some of your classmates for a group project and arrived late. And finally one of your professors claimed to be disappointed in you because you handed him your assignment one hour late because you had an unplanned class at the due date. So yeah, you really needed this drink with your friends. 

“- So I didn’t warn you beforehand, but I’m gonna sing on stage tonight !”

You looked at Lola, dumfounded, while Dia squealed excitedly beside you. Your older friend had tried to make her music known for the past year and it was finally starting to work out for her. Lola was incredibly talented, so you were certain that she would succeed and you were also very very happy for her, a big smile stretching your lips as you gave her a hug.

“- Girl ! That’s incredible ! I’m so proud of you, you deserve it !”

Dia joined your hug, the three of you giggling.

“-  I’m so fucking exited, we were waiting for it !”

It was still a little early, but the bar was already filled with people, and even if it was still pretty cold outside, you were immediately hit by a wave of heat as soon as you stepped in. You really loved the atmosphere of these kinds of nights, where everyone was friendly because they were only there to spend a good time. Lola had to go backstage to get ready, but you quickly stumbled on some of Dia’s friends with whom you talked for a while and since the vibes matched, you decided to stay together to enjoy the concert. One guy had particularly tried to get your attention, and you weren’t mad about it with how good he looked. He was very tall, and could seem intimidating but whenever he smiled or laughed, you could see how kind and sweet he was. While he was saying something to one of his friends, you quickly tapped on Dia’s shoulder.

“- Hey, what’s the name of your friend that’s very tall ?”

She answered you with a smirk, and mischievous glint in his eyes when she leaned towards you.

“- Why ? Does he interest you ?

- Maybe. So ?

- His name’s Mingi. Have fun girl.”

You slapped her arm lightly, rolling your eyes at her comment. But truly, you didn’t mind the playful bantering between the two of you, loving it even. You let her go back to her conversation while you offered yourself and Mingi another drink since you had finished your beer long ago. It happened that Mingi was just as interesting as you thought he would be, and you even spent the first few performances of the night simply talking with him, too immersed in the discussion to acknowledge your surroundings. It’s only when Lola got up on stage that you started to pay attention, cheering for her after she introduced herself to the public. 

And honestly, she nailed it, hyping the crowd like she did that for her whole life. Dia and you surely clapped and screamed for her the loudest. Lola came to you as soon as she got off the stage, hugging both of you and thanking you for coming to see her and cheering for her. She looked the happiest when she was singing, and you couldn’t be more proud of her as all of Dia’s friends were congratulating and praising her. And from this point on, you didn’t have many clear memories, only knowing that you got drink after drink, getting more comfortable with each one. 

Usually, you wouldn’t be all over someone you had just met, but Mingi was really a good guy, he was attractive and you were drunk, so you didn’t mind the way he was kissing you shamelessly, only kissing him back and letting him roam his hands all over your body. But as always when you were tipsy, your mind was jumping from one thing to another. It didn’t matter that you couldn’t see neither Lola nor Dia around anymore, all you wanted was another drink right now.

“- I’m gonna get one more beer, want one ?”

Mingi tried to stop you when you got up, stumbling a little while standing on your feet, the world spinning all around you.

“- Don’t you think you already drank enough Y/N ?

- You’re cute worrying about me ! I’m okay ! I’ll be back in a minute !”

You were practically screaming, and even with the loud music and voices of people around you, you were very loud, making your way over to the bar while chuckling to yourself the whole time. You dropped onto one of the stools in front of the bar, ordering yourself another beer. It’s only when you turned your head on your right side that you noticed someone you knew quite well. 

“- Mr. Jeong !”

The said Mr. Jeong was straddled by your loud voice and even more by your body colliding with his as you kind of dropped your weight on him, circling him with your arms as if you were trying to hug him. For a few seconds, your teacher remained frozen in place, not knowing how to react, before his brain seemed to reactivate again, and pushed you off of him, holding you by your shoulders. Only a quick look at your flushed cheeks, lazy smile and glossy eyes was enough for him to guess that you were drunk. 

“- Y/N ? 

- That’s me ! What are you doing here though ? Teachers are not supposed to go out !”

Yunho couldn’t help but laugh quietly at your behaviour. You were always so neat and put together during his classes, always so focused and organised. So to see you let loose like this, wearing a skimpy little dress, obviously very drunk and your speech so slurred it was actually hard to understand you, was really a shock. 

“- You’ll be surprised to know that I have a life outside of being your teacher.”

Yunho knew that he shouldn’t find the pout on your lips cute, but he did. 

“- ‘m not surprised, you too hot to be a teacher.”

He blamed the alcohol for the way his heart started beating faster at your comment, and even more when you leaned against him once again, breathing in his scent. 

“- ‘m so tired… 

- Where are your friends ? Maybe they can get you home.

- Don’t know…”

You were starting to feel really dizzy. And not the kind of daze when you’re just feeling the agreable effects of all the drinks you had, it was the kind of daze when you’re starting to feel bad, when your head starts to hurt and all you want is your bed and silence. Yunho tried to observe the crowd and spot the friends he usually saw you hanging with around campus, but no one was in sight. So he stood up, paying for his last drink, before helping you walk towards the exit. 

“- Where we going ?

- I’m driving you home. You’re clearly drunk and you lost your friends, it’s not safe for you to stay here alone.” 

You were too far gone to be embarrassed about your behaviour, or to resist too much, so you let your professor drag you to his car and help you get inside, even buckling up your seat belt for you. You only find it in yourself to give him your address, and text Dia to warn her that you were getting home before dozing off. Yunho had to wake you up when he parked in front of your dorm. 

“- We’re here, Y/N.”

You whined, claiming you were comfortable and didn’t want to move, that it was cold outside and the heat in his car was far much better. Yunho sighed while getting out of the car. Helping one of his drunk students get home was not really on his bingo card of the week, but he couldn’t risk you getting in a dangerous situation. He opened the car door on your side after having taken off his jacket, handing it to you as he helped you get out of the vehicle. No words were exchanged as you put on the black leather jacket that was obviously ten times too big for you, drowning your silhouette inside of it. But you could feel the warmth that Yunho’s body had left, and it made the cold of the wind outside less chilly. 

“- You will be alright to get inside alone ?”

You nobbed your head, the nap you took during the way back to your dorm having sobered you up a little. Now, all you wanted was to wrap yourself in your sheets because you were starting to feel the second-hand embarrassment of this whole situation. 

“- Thank you Mr. Jeong.

- You’re welcome Y/N, drink water and take a lot of rest, okay ?”

You nobbed once again, feeling your cheeks heating up when he pressed your shoulder lightly. You didn’t find anything to answer so you decided to simply get inside, not seeing how Yunho kept an eye on you until he was sure you got inside, and only did he drive off. When you pushed the door open, Dajeong was not back from her party yet, so you were met with a silence that instantly eased your headache. You rummaged through the drawers of the kitchen to find some painkillers and a glass of water, gulping the medication down before heading straight to your room. You hadn’t the energy to take off your makeup, nor your outfit, slipping in bed with Yunho’s jacket still on. But it smelled good, it was so warm, like a little cocoon you loved to be wrapped into. And maybe that was why you dreamed of him that night.

The days after this hell of a night, you were hit with the most terrible feeling of embarrassment and guilt you’ve ever felt. Embarrassment because it was definitely what you should feel after having to be driven home by one of your teachers because you were too drunk, and at that, a very attractive and smart teacher - and also your favourite one. Also to be seen in a state like this by him had you mortified. You always tried to remain serious and professional in front of Mr. Jeong, and you never wanted your personal life to interfere like that with your studies. Guilt because he was certainly there to enjoy his own night out and you wrecked that by forcing him to look after you like a little child. You even threw a tantrum because it was too cold, and every time you saw the jacket you even had the audacity to sleep into, you felt even more bad and ashamed of yourself. You didn’t even dare tell Dia and Lola who helped you get home, claiming it was only a guy you knew. 

You also didn’t want rumors to spread. They were fast to go around students, and if you handed Mr. Jeong his jacket back after his class, it would have been enough for people to believe that you two were in a relationship. So you decided to go and see him after his classes in his office, to be sure that you wouldn’t be bothered. You had buried his jacket at the bottom of your bag, as if everyone had X-Ray vision and could see what was inside, walking as fast as you could through the hallways. You had done nothing wrong, but it still felt like it and you had to mentally prepare yourself for the conversation that was going to happen. 

The door was open when you arrived at his office, but you still knocked on it lightly to signal your presence. Mr. Jeong immediately looked up from the assignments he was grading, smiling when he saw it was only you.

“- Come on in Y/N, and close the door behind you.”

You were fairly unable to utter a word, sticking to nodding your head as you did what he told you. Usually, when you came to his office, you would immediately sit down, but you didn’t feel at ease at all today, too shameful to even look at Mr. Jeong in the eyes. 

“- Do you feel better than this weekend ? You didn’t seem very well yesterday either.”

The fact that he was still worrying about you was making you feel even more uncomfortable. 

“- Uh, yes, thank you. Actually I came by to apologise for my behaviour. I was very drunk, and I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. Thank you so much for driving me home, and again, I’m sorry for how I acted and if I said anything disrespectful to you. And here’s your jacket, I washed it for you. And again, I’m so, so sorry.”

You got the jacket out of your bag, putting it on his desk, neatly folded. Your heart was beating unsteady and your breathing was loud. You couldn’t even remember if you actually said anything weird to him, but knowing you and how you had no filter when you were wasted, you surely did. Mr. Jeong stood up to get his jacket back, hanging it on the back of his desk chair. The smile on his lips was reassuring and sweet, and he didn’t seem mad at all, but you couldn’t help the anxiousness from taking over you.

“- It’s not that bad, it has already happened to everyone to be drunk and do stupid things, believe it or not, it happened to me too.

- To bother your teacher because you were completely wasted ?”

Yunho chuckled at your remark, and he was happy to see a small smile spread on your face too. You were always trying to not look him in the eyes since the beginning of the week, and you seemed very embarrassed when Yunho didn’t want you to be. He did that out of kindness, because you were one of his favourite students and also because he couldn’t let you alone when you were in this state, he couldn’t have looked at himself in a mirror if he had let you without anyone to look after you when you were so vulnerable. 

“- Maybe not, but you get my point. It didn’t bother me, and you didn’t say anything strange, don’t worry. We can just forget all about that if you prefer, but I can assure you that you did not do anything wrong Y/N, I’m just happy I was able to get you home safely.”

Your shoulders immediately relaxed, and it was as if you could breathe more easily. You knew that your professor was honest, that he wouldn’t lie to you about something like that. 

“- Thank you so much for taking care of me. I gotta go for my next class now, but really, I’m very grateful Mr. Jeong.

- No problem, just be more careful next time.

- Of course. Have a good day !”

He greeted you back, watching as you left his office and closed the door behind you. And finally, Yunho allowed himself to slump back in his desk chair, sighing loudly. He didn’t lie to you, didn’t tell you that to make you feel better. Except the fact that you did say that you found him hot. That compliment really messed up with his mind. You were always so serious and focused during his classes, and of course, it was obvious you wouldn’t spend your weekends locked up in your room, but seeing you like this was so new, so unusual. The way you looked at him, the way you touched him, the way your dress was riding your thighs up, the way his jacket was now smelling like your intoxicating perfume - the scent of you invading the room little by little. Everything about this was making him see you in a whole different light. 

The only thing Yunho promised himself when he became a professor was to never, ever, find one of his students attractive. Maybe it was because he was young, and much closer to your age when he started teaching, and that he quickly noticed the eyes some of the girls were giving him. Anyway, he swore on his dignity and morals that he would never have this type of thoughts about a student. But now that he got to see you in your skimpy black dress, which was hugging every one of your curves perfectly, while looking him in the eyes and confessing how hot he was may have him reconsidering his decision.

He knew he shouldn’t see you this way, he knew he shouldn’t search your profile on instagram, knew that he shouldn’t look at your photos nor check you out in your pretty little outfits that you loved to post. But he did it anyway, scrolling through your account as if he was a teenager all over again. And when he stumbled over the photos you posted this summer, body on display in your little bikinis, he knew he had to stop before his thoughts started to drift to places he shouldn’t. Because it was dirty, it was disgusting and he shouldn’t think about you, his student, this way. This should have been enough to stop his mind from going back to this night, but it didn’t. And Yunho felt incredibly bad for not being able to control himself.

You felt a little better since your conversation with Mr. Jeong, reassured that you did not say anything weird to him, and that you haven’t made him uncomfortable. That didn’t ease your mind from the fact that you slept in his jacket and even had the nerves to feel cosy because you were surrounded by his scent. But you tried your best to forget it all, just like he advised you to, even if you had to be honest and admit that you did often think about the way he held you by your waist when he helped you walk to his car. 

You shook your head as you tried to concentrate back on the synopsis of the book you had in hand right now. You decided to go to a book shop with Dia this afternoon after your classes. It was something you loved to do together from time to time, always promising yourself that you won’t buy anything but coming back home with at least one new book anyway. You were not paying attention to your surroundings, entirely focused on the book you were looking at, and you didn’t feel it when someone came up behind you. 

“- I see that you’re very dedicated to my classes Y/N.”

You turned around quickly, not needing to see him to recognize the familiar voice of your teacher. He was standing there, dressed more casually than the usual suits he was always wearing for class, only in black pants and a creamy sweater. You tried not to make the blush on your face obvious as you composed yourself before answering. 

“- Well, your recommendations are always great Mr. Jeong, so I might listen to you once again. But only if it gets me one bonus point on my next assignment.”

Yunho couldn’t help the cheeky smile that spreaded on his face whenever you teased him. It wasn’t the behaviour students should have towards their teacher, but he liked it too much to ask you to stop. 

“- You know very well that I don’t get corrupted this easily. 

- And if I bring you some chocolate ?

- Then I might reconsider your proposal.”

You were ready to add something when you were interrupted by the loud ringtone of your phone. You excused yourself and turned around to answer the call. Yunho didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation with a certain “Sannie”, but at the same time, if it was that private, you would’ve walked away, right ? He wondered if you were used to giving surnames like that to every one of your friends or if this guy could be your boyfriend. But why would that interest him in the first place anyway ? It wasn’t like he cared if you were single or taken. And it was none of his business, but still, the question slipped past his lips when you hung up. 

“- Was that your boyfriend ?

- Oh, no, not at all ! San is my best friend, he has been since we were kids.”

Yunho only nodded, already feeling the second-hand embarrassment of asking such a personal and inappropriate question. He needed to get out of here so you didn’t notice the way his ears were heating up, and you gave him the perfect opportunity to do just that. 

“- I have to go but I’ll get this one. 

- Feel free to share your thoughts about it. 

- I’ll do it, thank you. Have a good day Mr. Jeong. 

- You too Y/N.”

And you left with a warm smile, asking yourself if you would have a stranger interaction than this one in your life. How come that one of the most handsome men you’ve ever met, who also happened to be your teacher, wanted to know about your love life ? You didn’t know how to handle this fact, didn’t know why he asked you that either. But it was messing with your head, making you think about things you shouldn’t, about things you never even considered before this night. Well, that was a bit of lying to yourself. Because you did think about him in this light before, did dream about him touching you in such inappropriate ways for a teacher and his student. But you pushed these thoughts away, not ready to dig into why he was making you feel like that and wouldn’t leave your mind.  

And Yunho couldn’t help thinking the same : how he didn’t see you like that before having you all pliant in his hold, before seeing you wearing your little black dress, before hearing you calling him hot. But if he was honest with himself, he did think that you were pretty during the first class you had with him. He did think on numerous occasions that you were smart and the kind of person he would love to go out with. But he couldn’t. Because he was your teacher, and because he was a lot much older than you. It would be inappropriate. 

Even with all of these considerations in mind, Yunho couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances at you every time you stepped a foot into his classroom. He tried to be as subtle as possible because he didn't want to make this situation even weirder than it already was, especially for you. Little did he know you did the same, observing him every time he wasn’t looking your way, struggling to not blush whenever you felt his eyes on you. And Yunho kept telling himself that he couldn’t do that, that it was not right to look at you the way he did, to think about the things he was thinking about every time his eyes landed on you. But he couldn’t stop it. It felt wrong, but for some kind of reason, he was unable to forget about you. 

“- Did the Mr. Jeong hype finally get to your head ?”

You wiped your head towards Dia, heart beating unsteady. She couldn’t know about what happened almost three weeks ago, right ? No she couldn't have guessed, except maybe if someone saw him driving you home. But your friend only chuckled and slapped your arm when she saw the defeated expression on your face.

“- You look like you saw a ghost ! It’s alright bestie, I wouldn’t judge you for finding him handsome, it’s a fact everyone already established.

- Why are you saying that now ?

- Because you’ve become very distracted whenever we have classes with him, and you don’t participate as much as before. Is it because you finally see him like we all do ?”

You groaned and shook your head, but Dia was too close to the truth to not unsettle you. You knew that you did nothing wrong, that it was normal to think that your obviously very attractive teacher was, in fact, very attractive. But you couldn’t kill the guilt creeping in every time you looked at his hands handing back the papers a little too long, or when you caught yourself wondering if his skin smelt as good as his leather jacket did. 

“- First, I’ve never said that he isn’t good looking, and second, I have enough decency to not drool over him during said classes.”

Lie. It was a complete lie. But Dia didn’t need to know that. She didn’t need to know that your professor had invaded your thoughts in a way you didn’t think would be possible, and in a way that was definitely not appropriate. 

“- Decency doesn’t exist when he enters the equation.”

She was not entirely wrong, but you couldn’t let her win, because it would be like admitting to yourself that you did thirst over your teacher, more than you would like to. Luckily for you, Yunho quickly started his class and strangely enough, for the first time since the bar incident, you succeeded in following everything he was saying and not getting too distracted by his hands, or by his smile. 

“- Before I let you go, I wanted to inform you that I decided to create a debate club. I’m aware of what you must all think about these : that they are boring and never pick the subjects you want to discuss. That’s why you’ll be the ones to propose the subjects we will tackle, and you’ll be free to talk about anything you want. It can be music, politics, literature - anything. As long as you respect each others’ opinions, it’s okay for me. If you’re interested, write your name on the sheet on my desk before leaving and that’s all for today. Thank you for your attention, and have a good day.”

Conversations about Mr. Jeong’s propositions were already erupting all around the classroom. You spotted some serious students you already had study sessions with writing down their names, and a bunch of girls who just wanted to check out the teacher for one more hour per week. Dia already warned you that she didn’t have the time to engage in such activities, but you thought it couldn’t be that bad of an idea. After all, you really loved to discuss with people, and this was the perfect occasion to do so. And no, it was not because your professor will be there. Not at all. It only happened that he will animate the whole thing, it was only a coincidence. You got a pen out of your bag and started to write down your name when his now familiar voice interrupted you.

“- I could’ve bet on this.”

You didn’t dare lift your head and meet his gaze, because locking eyes with him in class was one thing - he was far away from you - but having him so close to you suddenly made you nervous. 

“- Am I so predictable ?

- A little, but I’m not complaining. I know that at least one person will actually come and that I will not be alone.”

This time, you had no other choice but to look at him as you had finished writing your name and had no excuse to look at the piece of paper anymore. You knew you shouldn’t feel like this, but your heart still missed a beat when your eyes finally dived into his. You quickly avoided his gaze, pretending to put your pen back in your bag while you searched in your brain to offer him a clever response. 

“- You know me, I’m always here when it comes to debating. 

- I wouldn’t have expected less from you Y/N.”

The way he said your name shouldn’t have made you blush, but it did. You rapidly excused yourself before literally running away from the classroom and all these feelings that shouldn’t invade your mind. It even made you hesitate on your decision to join the debate club. But you didn’t want Mr. Jeong to think that you were not serious. So you went anyway. And even if, as you predicted, not that many people showed up, you still had a good time. You were even able to not think about him in ways you shouldn’t too often. That was until he insisted on giving you all his personal phone number, so he could organise things more easily and give you the opportunity to see museums or expositions you could later discuss on. That was a perfectly sensible decision, obviously.

However, that night when you laid in your bed and couldn’t fall asleep, your fingers hovered over his contact. It was stupid to even think about it. Why would you even send him a text ? And to say what ? Ask him if he had a good day ? Or if he planned anything for the next reunion ? It was stupid, yeah. But you were one click away from sending a text. You threw your phone to the other side of your bed, running your hands over your face. You were so stupid. Stupid for thinking about Jeong Yunho as anything else than your teacher, stupid for thinking that he would even look your way, stupid for thinking that you were any different from all the girls who were swooning over him. You were just like them and even worse. 

The next meeting with the debate club came too quickly for your liking as you were not mentally prepared enough to see the teacher you couldn’t help thinking about all day long. But this was not what occupied your mind today. No. It was this one girl who thought that she was always right just because she said so. Ever since Mr. Jeong announced that the subject was going to be about music and the sense of community it could create, she hadn't shut up, interrupting everyone as if her opinion was more important. And she wouldn’t stop whining about the fact that music was too commercial these days and that there was nothing original anymore, when her playlist was essentially composed of trending songs and Taylor Swift (not that you had something against the girl, you loved some of her songs, but she was far from not being commercial.) And when you tried to argue that, no, music was not only commercial, that there were still good artists and groups that did it because they truly enjoyed and loved making music, she would get mad. Everytime someone else would defend your point of view, she would accuse them of teaming up against her. 

And you were actually a little mad at your teacher for not jumping in and telling something to this girl who was clearly being unreasonable. You ended up saying that you didn’t want to talk anymore, because even if you were not one to give up, you clearly noticed that you couldn’t win this time. You spent the rest of the debate sulking and stealing glances at Mr. Jeong, who was just observing the chaos. You didn’t understand why he would not intervene, and yes, you got that he wanted to let everyone express their opinions, but was it relevant in this case ? You packed up your things rather quickly ; this whole situation put you into a bad mood, and you just wanted to forget it. 

“- Y/N ? Are you alright ?”

His voice straddled you as he came closer to you, letting all the other students go out behind the two of you.

“- Oh, uh, yeah, I’m good. Just a little frustrated, but it’s alright.

- I understand, but this moment is also made for that, even if you’re not agreeing with her, you have to respect it. 

- I know, I don’t have a problem with her not being on my side, I just don’t like it when people victimise themselves to make me feel bad and let them have the last word. That’s not what a debate is about.”

You tried to stay focused on your bottle of water in your hands, and to not stare at him too much. He was wearing one of his black suits once more, and even more since the bar incident, it was doing something to you. 

“- Well, I can’t say you’re wrong, but not everyone here is as mature as you are. You have to take it into consideration. And it is by talking with people like you that people like her will get it and grow up.”

You shrugged, turning your head to the side because you couldn’t hold his gaze anymore. You knew deep down that he was right, but you were too frustrated to admit it right now. 

“- I’ll let you sleep on that Y/N, but don’t let it deter you from coming next time, your interventions are important and I value them. A lot.”

You nodded before saying your goodbyes and quite literally running away from him, once again. He couldn’t make you feel so frustrated you wanted to break something, and the next second made your heart beat like crazy. Because his words surely did. You knew by the way he was often relying on your answers in class that he must appreciate you as a student, but to be aware that he also liked who you were as a person was something else. It was getting bad, really bad, because you couldn’t keep under control the feelings he made appear in you. And you knew it was wrong, knew that he was your teacher, knew that he probably - surely - didn’t feel the same, but you were already in too deep. 

And Yunho couldn’t help thinking the same as he watched you go away. He shouldn’t feel such attraction for his students, and he shouldn’t try to get closer to you, and he shouldn’t try to do all these things that led you to be alone with him. But still, he chose the next subject because he knew he would get a reaction out of you, because he knew it would get you all passionate about it and he loved when you were like this. 

He didn’t miss his shot because you were the first to talk when he announced that today’s session will be about Jane Austen and feminism. Yunho knew she was one of your favourite authors as you often quoted her in your assignments and used her novels as examples, so he was even aware of your opinion on them. Thus as he was regularly doing during his classes, he decided to go against your views, just to see how you would react. It was wrong to do it only to see you get passionate and involved and slightly mad at him - because you both knew that he already told you that he agreed with your ideas. 

“- I understand what you’re saying Y/N, but the fact that Austen never got married but still insisted on talking about marriage in every one of her novels could also show that it was a dream of hers, and not feminism.”

Again, you were feeling so frustrated against your teacher. But this time, it was directed straight to him. You couldn’t figure out why he would do this, nor why he was so dedicated to debating with you in particular, and not with all the other students that were agreeing with you. 

“- On this aspect, her personal life has nothing to do with it. On the contrary, it reinforces what she’s showing. In Pride and Prejudice for example, Lizzie doesn’t accept Darcy’s proposal until he changes and really proves that he loves her. Plus Darcy doesn’t do all these things so she would agree to marry him, he does it only because he loves her truly. She depicts marriage as something you should do out of love, the only happy marriages in her novels are the ones where the two parties are in love with each other. Like Jane and Bingley, and you can contrast with Lydia and Wickham and how their union is never shown as a good thing, for either them or the Bennets’. I think she never got married because she despised the men of her era, and that they wouldn’t meet her expectations, because she wanted a marriage of love, not of arrangement, or relationships or money. That’s why she is showing them so much in her books, because it reflects how she didn’t like the view on marriages during the Victorian era and the sexism she was surely enduring because of her being a writer and not trying to hide it.”

You barely breathed in between your sentences, and when you finally stopped talking, you felt like you just ran a marathon. Mr. Jeong’s gaze never left yours as you spoke, and the intensity of it was making butterflies come alive in your stomach. It was as if you could feel the tension emanating from him, from his eyes staring down at you. He seemed to snap out of his haze when someone voiced out their agreements to your little speech. And after that, he quieted down just as you did. But you could still feel him stealing glances at you, and you couldn’t help doing the same. 

He was wearing another one of his suits - a three piece grey suit, with thin, white strips on it. He had let go of the jacket a long while ago, and had rolled the sleeves of his shirt up his forearms. And you knew you shouldn’t find that attractive, but you did. You did and it was wrong ; because he was your teacher, and because you were supposed to be a little mad at him for refuting the obvious. 

So like a replay of last week, you stayed back, taking your time to pack up your things and waiting until everybody else left to talk to him one on one. Maybe it wasn’t what a good and well behaved student should do, maybe it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do when you were feeling so attracted to him. Maybe. But you still carried on with your plan, trying to not get distracted by his handsome face, and his pretty hands arranging some papers on his desk. 

“- Why do you keep on pushing me to justify myself like that ? It’s embarrassing, and everyone was so silent afterwards, it was as if I said something wrong, and it’s not agreeable to feel like you are being ridiculous.”

You never had enough nerves to talk to one of your professors like that, but maybe it was the fact that you had a pretty shitty week, or that the way he was looking at you had you feeling some ways you didn’t want to, but you felt a sudden rush of energy and courage coursing through your veins.

“- You did not say anything stupid Y/N, it was very clever on the contrary. And the reason I keep doing that is because I know you have it in you to argue with me and produce this kind of well organised speech. That’s where I want to bring all of my students, but you can always improve and develop your skills. This is what I’m training you for.

- I’m not practising to go to war, Mr. Jeong. All this is not necessary if it makes us feel bad. And why would you do that in front of other students when we already talked about this in class and they all saw you agree with me ? 

- I told you, it’s only because I want you to be able to justify your answers with precise examples like you did today, because it’s important for your future assignments, for your thesis and even just in everyday life. 

- But you know I’m already able to do all that, so why would you seek out my responses everytime ? It feels like you’re targeting me.”

Your cheeks were heating up as time went on, not only because you felt hot from the way all his attention was entirely focused on you, but also because you were so frustrated you could’ve yelled at him. But you had to remind yourself that he was your teacher and that you couldn’t be that disrespectful, that this was the closest you could get to having an argument with him without getting kicked out of your university. He had come closer to you as the discussion progressed, and the sudden proximity between your two bodies didn’t help with your red cheeks. 

“- Yes, I’m targeting you, because I know you’re capable of coming up with things like this, and that you teach a lot to other people by doing so. I love to see you being passionate and invested in the subjects you’re talking about, it makes it fluid to listen to and to understand. Plus, that’s a debate club, disagreeing with you is my job here.”

You wanted to stay calm and collected so bad, wanted to stay as composed as he always was but you couldn’t help how he heightened all your emotions by his mere presence. And the compliments he was giving you didn’t help you relax either. 

“- Yes, okay, but not when you said you approved my views two weeks ago just to change your mind now and make me look like I’ve been talking nonsense all this time. 

- Don’t rely on me and my opinions Y/N, rely on you and what you’re thinking. Do not let other people dictate what you should think on a subject you know and love. 

- I know that, I’m not dumb, but you’re not just everyone else. You’re my teacher and you know what you’re talking about while I don’t. I’m only making assumptions and theories when you give us facts. It’s not the same. 

-  I don’t know it all, what we're making when talking about books and authors who are not here to confirm or deny is always assumptions. You know that I agree with what you said, you know my opinion on Austen and that’s all that matters. 

- But you made it look like what I was saying was irrelevant, you made me look like a fool and I don’t like it, especially when it’s coming from you.”

The two of you had gotten closer and closer, and you were now facing each other, with nothing in between to separate you anymore. Suddenly, you felt an overwhelming need to breathe in his scent, to take the step ahead that was distancing you from him and cut off the act. 

“- What do you mean especially when it’s coming from me ?”

Your breath accelerated when Yunho stepped forward one more time, getting way much closer than decency would allow. But you didn’t make any movement to escape. Because deep down, you wanted this, you craved this. You saw his hand coming up to your face before feeling his fingers brushing against the skin covering your jaw, leading you to raise your head and dive into his eyes. You’ve never seen him from this angle, but with the light of the late afternoon casting shadows on his face, he had never looked prettier.

“- I asked you a question, Y/N.

- I… It’s inappropriate, I shouldn’t say it, I shouldn’t even think about it.”

Despite your words that should deter him from going any further, he swiped his thumb across your bottom lip, smearing your lip gloss. You could hear your own heart beating, aware of every breath you took and every movement of your body. When your eyes met his once again, it was as if adrenaline was spreading through your veins, a sensation that gave you the impression that you were flying. Your gaze flicked down to his lips one second too long for him not to notice and that was Yunho’s last straw as he let his hands drop down to your waist. 

“- I don’t think I should think about what is on my mind right now either.”

As if it was the hint you needed, you grabbed his neck to pull him down to your level. Your lips brushed against his one time, and the next time they met, it was for a real kiss. Yunho squeezed your waist tighter, tugging you closer to him as he let his desire take over his reason. He shouldn’t do that, but your lips tasted like the vanilla chapstick you were always putting on during his classes and that he was dying inside to kiss away. 

It was like your mouth had a mind on its own, kissing your teacher like your life depended on it. You weren’t thinking about the fact that anybody could come in and interrupt you, you weren’t thinking about the fact that what you were doing was forbidden. All you felt was the softness of his hair between your fingers, his large hands on your lower back, and his tongue playing with yours. It all felt too good to stop. 

“- Where are you going ?”

You were putting on your shoes when Dajeong’s voice interrupted you, a knowing smile on her lips. She knew very well where you were going every time you left late at night, during the weekends, she just wanted to tease you.

“- San invited me over, I’m gonna stay the night.

- Of course you are.”

She gave you a little slap on your ass before going back to the series she was watching on the living room TV. Usually, you would’ve laughed or been as excited as her to see your friend but not today. When San had proposed to you to come to his apartment to fool around, you weren’t surprised. It happened often, when neither of you wanted to be alone, when you needed someone to relieve the pressure. And most of the time, you really enjoyed the time you spent together, fooling around without any feelings. But tonight, it was for more selfish reasons that you said yes. 

Because when San was touching you, you were only able to think back to how Yunho’s fingers squeezing your waist felt. And when he kissed you, you could only think back to the way Yunho’s lips made your whole body come alive again. And when he fucked you, you wished it could be Yunho instead. You felt bad, both because you were using your friend to quit thinking about someone else, and because that someone else was your teacher. 

It shouldn’t have felt so good to kiss him, it shouldn’t have sparked a flame and made you crave more, it shouldn’t have made you want to drop to your knees for him. You should’ve been disgusted with yourself and what you did, you should’ve been apologising to him the very next day. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate this moment, nor to forget it. It was engraved in your memory, enough for you to search him up on social media even when San was holding you in his arms, both of you still naked. It was wrong, once again, but you already crossed the line too many times to count, so who cared anymore ?

For a few weeks, you didn’t even dare to look at him too long, afraid to remember once again how delicious his lips felt on yours. And you didn’t feel his eyes following your every movement like you grew used to. It felt weird, to not have his gaze focused on you, and to see him avert even looking your way during each one of his classes. You stopped going to the debate class, and you stopped answering every one of his questions during lectures. 

And Yunho felt like he had fucked everything up. He should’ve stopped when he started to be attracted to you. He should’ve stopped when he started to seek out your presence even more. He should’ve stopped before kissing you. After you ran away last time, he considered sending you a text to apologise, and ask you to not say anything about what happened. But he didn’t, he wanted to let you breathe and have some time for yourself. Except that he started to get worried about the situation. You hadn’t tried to talk about it with him, you hadn’t come to the debate class since this incident. He spent all his time trying to figure out how to handle the mess he created. That was the question going through his mind once more when you stepped into his classroom for the debate club, looking around to see that no one except you and him were here. 

“- Uh… I’m sorry, did I miss something ?”

Yunho turned to you, and for the first time in weeks, he really looked at you, taking in your silhouette and your outfit - one of the little skirts you loved so much, and your signature black, thigh boots. He should’ve been stressed to see you again, anxious to have to talk to you about this kiss. But instead he felt relief wash over him, and it was like he could breathe again. He looked down at the paper covering his usually organised desk, realising that he had to answer you, even if his voice was shaking a little. 

“- I cancelled today’s reunion, I wasn’t feeling very well.”

You nodded your head, looking around the classroom as if you were searching for something. You debated in your head if you should address the subject with your teacher or not. You were too nervous to talk about it, afraid that he would act like it didn’t ever happen, or worse, as if it didn’t mean anything to him. You were about to go away, to run away, like the other time, when you heard his voice behind you, loud and clear. 

“- Wait ! Please, wait. We need to talk.”

You hesitated for a few moments, your hand hovering above the doorknob. Yunho saw your arm drop by your side before you turned around, taking some steps in his direction, and he was already relieved that you weren’t going to find him disgusting or scream at him. He didn’t need much time to figure out what he was going to tell you, having replayed this exact scene again and again in his head, too many times for his own good. 

“- I have to apologise for what happened last time. It was never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable, or to scare you away. And I’m also sorry for kissing you like that, it was wrong of me, I should’ve never done that. We can forget all about it, or you can do whatever you want because I’ve done enough to make things worse.”

You stayed silent, for seconds that felt like hours for Yunho. He prayed inside that you were going to forgive him, that you were going to tell him that it was okay, that you would simply not talk about it ever again and let him feel guilty about this for the rest of his life. 

“- It’s okay Mr. Jeong, it was a mistake, it could’ve happened to everyone. And I have some parts to take in this too. But I understand. It was a mistake anyway, it didn’t mean anything.” 

It didn’t mean anything. These were the words he unconsciously hoped you wouldn’t pronounce. Because even if he tried to deny it, it meant something to him. It meant so much that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It meant so much that everytime he sat at his desk, he thought back to the moment he kissed you. It meant so much that even weeks later, he still didn’t forget the taste of your lips, the feeling of having you so close to him. And he craved it. He needed it again. 

“- It’s okay if you want to think about it as a mistake.

- Why are you saying that ?

- Because for me it wasn’t.”

His eyes crossed yours, enough for him to see this little spark he noticed before he captured your lips last time. Maybe it wasn’t only a mistake for you either. Maybe he didn’t fuck it all up. Maybe he still had a chance to make this right, if there was any way to make all of this right.

“- It did mean something to me. I… I haven't stopped thinking about it. I can’t focus on anything else other than you.”

It was as if your breath was knocked out of your lungs again. He did that too much lately. But the intensity with which he was staring at you and your lips, and his confession had your heart feeling weak. And surely, you shouldn’t indulge in your fantasy. Surely, you shouldn’t let yourself get seduced by your teacher. But you were already in too deep, and you couldn’t ignore anymore the way he was making you feel. 

“- I can’t either. I think… I think you should kiss me again, maybe it’ll help.

- Maybe you’re right.”

Yunho bypassed his desk, and you joined him, throwing yourself in his arms. He cradled your face between his hands, and this time he didn’t hesitate when he put his lips on yours, sighing in relief when the taste of your vanilla chapstick invaded his senses again. And the way you were tugging at his suit jacket to pull him closer to you told him everything he needed to know. 

“- Fuck… I missed you so bad Y/N, thought I had messed up everything.”

You stared up at him, now able to see the lust, the desire he had for you going through his brown eyes, and it made your inside flip. You had dreamt about this so much, even if you would’ve rather died than admitted it. But it was true. You were dreaming about having him so close to you, about having him tell you how much he wanted you, about having him just like this. 

“- You didn’t, not at all.”

That was all the talking that was made. Because you already talked too much, and even if he loved hearing your soft voice, all Yunho needed right now was to taste you again, to drown himself in your body and your addicting, intoxicating scent. You didn’t stop him when he reached for your thighs to lift you up and drop you on his desk, not caring about the assignments sheets you were sitting on. 

You discovered the way his lips against yours felt again, savoured the way his tongue played with yours again. And you loved it just as much as the first time, maybe even more. Because this time, you were truly desperate to feel as much as him as possible. You reached to grab his waist, spreading your legs and bringing him even closer to you. And Yunho complied, because he was just as desperate to finally have you all for himself. He let his hands wander from your back to your thighs, and feeling up your bare skin under his fingers was already driving him crazy. 

You tilted your head to the side when Yunho displaced his kisses from the corner of your mouth, to your jawline and then the side of your neck. He was almost devouring you, but you weren’t complaining : it was exactly what you wanted, exactly what you needed. You felt his hands creep up higher, reaching for the hem of your skirt, and his hot breath hitting the now wet skin of your neck. 

“- Do you know how bad I wanted to do this every time you walked in my classroom wearing those skirts and these boots ? Do you know how hard it was to not think about doing exactly that whenever you were looking at me ?”

You let out a moan, not really knowing if it was because of what he just told you or because of the fact that he just gave you a hickey. Your heart was beating too fast, adrenaline rushing through your veins as Yunho kissed down your clothed-covered body, making his way to where his hands were still laying. But it was only when he dropped on his knees and pushed your legs apart some more that you realised what he was doing, your words getting stuck in your throat and being replaced by a pathetic whimper when he kissed the inside of your left thigh instead.

“- Is that okay ?

- Y-Yes Mr. Jeong.

- Call me Yunho, will you ?”

You quickly nodded your head, already far too gone because of his feather like touch everywhere except where you needed him the most. 

“- Good girl.”

And as if it wasn’t already enough to get another noise out of you, he pushed your skirt higher up your thighs, revealing your soaked panties to his hungry gaze. Immediately, he dived in, licking a strip of your arousal through the material of your underwear. This time, another moan escaped you and it encouraged Yunho to push the piece of clothing to the side and taste your juices for real. The groan he let out against your folds had you shivering ang trying to close your legs around his head. But he was holding them with an iron grip, making it impossible for you to move. 

You threw your head back when he sucked on your clit for the first time, one of your hands flying to take a hold of his hair, keeping him just where he was. He ate you out just like he kissed you - hungrily, like a starved man, like it was his last meal. And you were loving it all, trying to keep down your noises because anyone walking by the classroom could hear you and decide to walk in, and you could get in trouble. But the thrill of getting caught was making everything feel so much better. 

“- Feeling good, angel ?

- Yes, so good, don’t stop please…”

The nickname had your legs trembling in no time, and the way he was lapping at your cunt had you close to the edge already. You could feel your pussy clenching around nothing as he sucked on your clit again, making more of your juices come out that he didn’t waste any time licking up. The force with which he was holding your thighs open made you wonder if he could use the same strength to put you in all the positions he wished, if he would use the same strength on you to make you unable to move and fuck you until you passed out. 

“- Yunho… I’m close…”

He hummed against you, doubling his efforts to bring you to the edge. He didn’t need to do much, because you had been waiting for this for too long, and because he felt too good to resist. As you felt your orgasm wash over you, your hand that wasn’t busy in his hair gripped the first things you could reach - one of the paper scattered on his desk, and you couldn’t even feel guilty about the way you crumpled it between your fingers, the rush of pleasure taking over you so strongly you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything else. 

When you had regained enough consciousness for your legs to support your weight again, Yunho helped you come down off his desk, his hands not leaving your waist even when you were standing in front of him. You smiled when you saw how much you had messed up his hair, as they were going in every direction, and you tried to smother it a little. 

“- Let me see you this week-end if you are free. I want us to talk, and I want to take my time with you, make you understand everything you make me feel.”

And you agreed. Of course. But you started to regret it when you found yourself all alone, in the room of the hotel Yunho had sent you the address of. You were aware that you couldn’t just welcome him at your dorm, or go to his apartment either, because there were risks that someone would recognize you. So here you were, waiting for him. Despite what had happened earlier this week, it still felt incredibly wrong to be there, to do what you were about to do. You looked around the room, where nothing felt familiar and everything felt odd, as if you shouldn’t be here. You were almost ready to leave when the door opened and Yunho entered. 

He was dressed in a pair of black pants, some sneakers and a beige pullover. His casual outfit clashed with the slightly revealing white dress you were wearing underneath your trench. And you felt ridiculous for thinking that putting on something like this was appropriate, though nothing about this situation was appropriate. 

“- I’m sorry, I couldn’t find anywhere to park my car.”

Yunho’s voice broke down the heavy silence hanging in the air, but it didn’t dissipate the strange atmosphere. The room was filled with tension, with unspoken words, with something dangerous and forbidden, but so tempting. 

“- It’s okay, I haven’t been here for long.”

The moment was awkward, neither one of you knowing what to do with themselves. You couldn’t tell him that you were about to leave when he arrived. And he couldn't tell you that the real reason he was late was because he hesitated before coming. But all it took was one eye contact, one look a little too insistent at each other for your lips to find themselves once again, as if they knew better than yourselves what you wanted. And suddenly, nothing felt weird anymore, nothing felt wrong anymore, and everything was finally fitting perfectly - from the way he was holding your waist, to the way the skin of his neck felt under your fingertips. 

“- I missed you.”

The words he whispered against your lips made you feel everything you’ve been needing without knowing it. And you thought that maybe, this wasn’t such a big mistake. And when Yunho’s hands found their way underneath the skirt of your dress to caress the soft skin of your plush thighs, your brain disconnected, letting your emotions control you instead. You got rid of your trench, the material falling to the ground and soon joined by his jacket. You didn’t resist when he grabbed you by your waist to hold you flush against him and kiss you again, finally letting your hands slip under the hem of his pullover and touching his skin. Once again, the way he was kissing you left you dizzy, unable to think about anything other than him. 

“- This dress… 

- Do you like it ? Or is it too much ?

- Fuck, no, it’s…”

He took another look at the way the white tissue was hugging all your curves just right, underlining your silhouette and making you look like an angel. And the fact that you dressed up just for him made his hunger for you grow even more. So when he felt the urge to kiss you again, and again, and again, he gave into it, like he had wanted to for so much longer than he thought. 

“- It’s perfect, you’re beautiful.”

You wanted to compliment him right back, but he didn’t give you enough time to do so, mingling his tongue with yours instead. And you didn’t complain, because you couldn’t get enough of the taste of his lips, of the way his big hands were guiding you to sit on the bed, of the way he was looking at you. You watched closely as he got on his knees to get you rid of these thigh boots that were driving him crazy. Then, he helped you out of your dress, revealing your white lingerie set. 

You thought you would’ve been shy, or embarrassed to let him see you like this. But all you felt right now was desire, and confidence. You smiled when you saw him lick his lips while staring down at your body, and while he wasn’t paying attention, you started to unbuckle his belt. Yunho let you do what you wanted, obeying when you asked him to take off his pullover. When you managed to get rid of his pants, you finally allowed yourself to properly drool over him.

You looked up at him from your sitting position on the bed, while he was still standing in between your legs. It was like crossing his gaze at this precise moment made you realise how real all of this was, and you were hit with the fact that you were really going to fuck with your teacher. But you couldn’t find it in you to fight the feeling anymore. It was too late anyway, you couldn’t go back even if you wanted to. 

So you did nothing to stop him when Yunho pushed your shoulders so you would lay on the bed. You did nothing to stop him when he started to kiss your neck and covered the skin in his marks. You did nothing to stop him when his hands began to roam all around your body because he couldn’t choose only one spot to touch and focus on, because he needed all of you. 

“- I thought you wanted to talk.”

But with the way your fingers were threading through his hair as he massaged your breast over your bra, you definitely weren’t up to talk either. 

“- We’re gonna talk, but after I’ve fucked you.”

He punctuated his sentence by pushing your boobs out of your bra and leaning down to suck on your right nipple. And you couldn’t contradict him when all you were able to do was moan and ask for more. Yunho slowly made his way down to your panties, kissing every part of your exposed skin until he could remember every mole and imperfection of your body. And by the time he took off your underwear, you were already dripping wet and you couldn’t breathe properly anymore. 

“- Please Yunho, please don’t tease…

- Why’s that angel ? You need me that bad ?

- Yes, yes I need you, I want you.”

Finally hearing it from you and not from the dreams he was making did it for Yunho as he searched for a condom in his jacket’s pocket, while you were throwing away the last pieces of clothing separating your skin from his. And you couldn’t help admiring him and his tall frame, his sculpted back, the veins in his hands and arms, his abs slightly peaking out. Everything about him, every inch of him was perfect, made by the Gods. 

And you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his cock either, following his every movement as he got rid of his boxers and put the condom on. It was big, but just as pretty as him, and you already knew he would fill you up just right. When he was close enough to the bed again, you grabbed his hands, pulling him to lay on top of you and kissing him like it was the last time you could taste his lips. 

“- Please Yunho, fuck me…”

And he couldn’t do anything else than do it, sliding right in with how wet you were even if you could still feel the way his cock was stretching you out. But you couldn’t help the moan escaping you when he bottomed out, nor could Yunho stop himself from groaning at how tight you were clenching around him. 

“- Feeling so good around me angel, like you were made for me.”

You were ready to answer, but the force with which he thrusted inside of you stopped you from doing so, uttering a strangled noise instead that was quickly replaced by endless whines and moans as Yunho started to fuck into you. It was as if he knew exactly how to make you feel good, as if he already knew your body like the back of his hand. He found his way to your waist again, pinning your hips down to the mattress so he could do what he wanted, fuck you like he had been wanting to for far too long. 

You could feel your mind drifting far away as all the tension you accumulated these past weeks left your body, washed away by pleasure and desire, washed away by the way Yunho was looking down at you with hooded eyes, lips parted and letting out the most sinful sounds you’ve ever heard. But you needed to feel him even closer to you, impossibly closer to you. So you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him down against you. He reached for your legs, guiding you to bend them more until he could hit this sweet spot that made your head fall back with a cry of his name. 

“- I’m not gonna last long angel, been waiting for this for too long. 

- Me too, I’m close, please… 

- You sound so hot when you’re begging.”

You made sure to remember this piece of information before abandoning yourself to the feeling of his cock hitting all the right spots, and of his skilled fingers teasing your clit, the combination making you clench around him impossibly tight as the wave of your orgasm crashed over you. Your release triggered Yunho as he buried his face in your neck, groaning about how good you felt while filling up the condom with his cum. And the crazy thought of him filling you up instead crossed your mind, and it made the feeling of slight overstimulation even more intense. 

You were so out of it that you almost didn’t feel the moment when Yunho got up to throw away the condom. You had purposefully decided to not think about all the consequences that what you just did implied, you just wanted to enjoy this a little longer. So when he came to lay down with you again, you got closer to him immediately, like magnets who couldn’t resist the attraction. His fingers brushing against your cheek encouraged you to turn your head to the side, diving in his hypnotising brown eyes. You stayed like that for a moment, simply looking at each other without saying anything. And as if it was the only thing your bodies knew how to do, you joined your lips again. 

This time, it was slower, more sensual. If before you were devouring each other, now you took your time to savour the taste of his lips and tongue, to appreciate the way his hands were gliding on your skin, tracing invisible patterns on your lower back. It felt so much more intimate than what all this should have been, but it was too late, so you might as well fuck it all up completely. 

This time, Yunho didn’t rush anything, letting you decide on the pace. He let you do what you wanted when you got on top of him, let you deepen the kiss, he let you caress and discover his body. Your kisses wandered from the corner of his mouth to his jawline, going down to his neck, his collarbone, his pecks, his abs, his v-line, careful not to leave any marks on him. You could hide the single hickey he gave you, but you didn’t want to take any risk. When you reached his inner thighs, his hands had made their way to your head, his fingers tangling between the messy strands of your hair. You looked up at him, the desire pouring from your eyes making his heart beat faster. 

“- Can I ?

- Do whatever you want, angel.”

You smiled before you resumed your soft kisses along the skin of his thighs. But this time, you let them go up to his hardening dick. It was even prettier up close - and you’ve never thought you would say that about a dick one day, but you’ve never thought you would fuck with your teacher either. You kissed his length from the tip to the base, before running your tongue along the path you had traced. The action got a gasp out of Yunho, and you could feel him staring down at you as you kitten licked his flushed tip a few times. You wanted to take things slow, to remember this for as long as possible, but you were craving his taste, craving to feel him even more so you just took him into your mouth. He was big to say the least, and you could feel him, heavy on your tongue, stretching your throat as you started to bob your head up and down, stroking with your hands what you couldn’t fit in your mouth.

Yunho watched you intently, mouth slightly open and letting out sighs and grunts because you just felt that good. The sinful vision you offered was enough to make these weeks of mentally torturing himself totally worth it. Maybe he shouldn’t love the way you were making him feel, maybe he shouldn’t love the way you were whining around his shaft, maybe he shouldn’t love the way saliva was spilling out from the corners of your mouth. But he couldn’t care less when he gripped your hair harder and you moaned around his cock, eyes watering and nails digging into the skin of his thighs. 

“- Shit angel, you’re taking it so well. You’re so good to me.”

You hummed around him once more, resisting the urge to gag around him, relaxing your throat until you could take all of him in your mouth. You felt Yunho sit up straight, so he could get a better look at the way his cock was sliding in and out of your lips with ease. The sight was truly mesmerising, and he wanted to engrave it in his memory. 

“- I want to fuck your throat so bad, angel. Will you let me ?”

The pleased sound you let out after he grazed your scalp a few times let him know how willing you were to do just that. Yunho pulled on your hair roughly, forcing you to take all of him, until your nose was rubbing against his stomach and your hands were desperately pawing at his thighs. His thrusts were slow but hard, just what you wanted, just what you needed. 

“- You’re such a good girl Y/N, fuck, you’re going to make me cum. I can do it inside of your pretty mouth, right ?”

You agreed with strangled noises as best as you could with the way he was ruining your throat, but it was enough for Yunho to understand and a few seconds later, he buried himself as deep as he could one last time, cumming down your throat with a loud moan of your name. You did your best to shallow everything, some drops of the sticky substance spilling out. Yunho didn’t waste time picking them up with his fingers, sliding them between your lips instead of his cock, commanding for you to lick them clean, which you gladly did. When he finally let you breathe again, your throat was sore, but you were so wet you could feel your juices sliding down the inside of your thighs. 

“- Open your mouth for me angel, yes just like that. Good girl.”

Yunho grabbed you by your throat bringing your face closer to his and kissing you messily. He didn’t care that he just came into your mouth, he didn’t care that he could still feel his own taste on your tongue as you made out with him, on the contrary, it made everything so much more intense, so much better, so much more special. 

“- Was it good ?

- It was a perfect angel, you’re perfect.”

His hands slid down from your neck to your ass, guiding you to sit on his lap. His touch made you shiver, your back arching unconsciously. 

“- Want me to return the favour angel ?

- Yes please, I want your fingers…”

Yunho pushed you so you would lay down on the bed again, his fingers immediately dipping to your core, brushing lightly against your clit. His fingertips glided with ease against your slit, collecting your juices and spreading them everywhere. And you were hypnotised by the sight, thinking about how well his long fingers would fit perfectly inside of you, how they could reach your sweet spot so easily. 

“- You’re so wet, Y/N, you’re dripping on my hand.

- Please, Yunho…”

The way you were begging for him, the way you were calling his name, the way you were grabbing his biceps, trying to entice him in finally pushing his fingers inside of you - everything was driving him crazy, you were driving him crazy, and he was convinced that he didn’t want all of that to ever stop. His gaze was fixed on your face scrunching up with pleasure when he finally put one finger inside of your clenching pussy. 

“- Feels good ?

- Yes, so good.

- You want another one ?

- Please…”

Yunho bit his lip when he watched you take his second finger with ease, relishing in your sweet voice moaning at the way he was able to reach so deep without making any efforts. You were being so good, and he didn’t have to do anything for you to do so. You were pleading for him so easily, like it was natural, and that was making him feel even more dizzy with want and desire for you. He started to pump his fingers slowly, the squelching sounds from your wet cunt echoing through the room along with your whimpers for more. His other hand creeped up to your thigh, making sure to keep them open. Pleasure was clouding your mind, but your eyes were unable to leave the sight of the veins bulging in his forearms as he fingered you restlessly, thinking about all the ways he could control you, about all the positions he could put you in if he wanted to. 

And when it all started to feel too good, you plopped down against the pillows, not able to hold your own weight anymore from how his fingers were making you feel. Whenever he was curling them against that one spot, your brain turned to mush, and you could only whine and cry for more. You closed your eyes, already feeling close to your relief, but not wanting him to stop. 

“- Yunho… 

- What do you want, angel ?

- I-I want you to fuck me again, please…”

He didn’t let you have any time to think as he bent down to kiss you again, as a reward for being so good to him, so good for him, so perfect for him.

“- Cum on my fingers first, and I’ll fuck you as many time as you want, okay ?”

You nodded energetically, too turned on to think about anything else that wasn’t him. He let down your thigh to circle your clit, efficiently bringing you to your climax in seconds. Your nails dug into his biceps as the rush was taking over you, clenching around his fingers and moaning so loudly he was certain that the people in the room next to you could hear you scream his name. But he loved it, he was loving all of this a little too much. 

But Yunho didn’t ask himself more questions as he got up to find another condom in his pockets. He didn’t dare interrogate why it felt so good when he entered your pussy for the second time. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know why hearing you moan his name again and again made his heart beat faster. All he wanted right now was you, all he needed right now was you and your perfect body. 

This time, he wanted to feel you, to really feel you. So he purposely slowed down his thrusts, and even when you wrapped your legs around his waist, all he did was to suck another hickey in between your breasts. It was frustrating, but it also felt insanely good, the type of pleasure that made you unable to think, that made you go to another world because it just felt that good. You knew you were babbling incoherently, mewling for him to go faster, but you were already too far gone to care about how desperate you must look. 

In the heat of the moment, Yunho didn’t think twice before grabbing your wrists and pinning them down to the mattress, but you only whined and clenched around him tighter as an answer. And that made him lose control, his thrusts becoming more sloppy, without any rhythm, because you just felt that good. 

“- Yunho ! I’m gonn- Ah ! Oh my god…

- Cum for me angel, fuck, let me hear you.”

His words pushed you over the edge, the overstimulation from your two previous orgasm making this one feel even more intense and fulfilling. Your moans were high-pitched, but you couldn’t keep your voice down, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything else than Yunho, Yunho, Yunho. You could hear him groan as he pulled out, throwing the condom away to pump himself on top of you. He only needed a few seconds to cum on your chest, the white fluid soon covering them and even that felt good. 

You felt so out of your own body that you almost didn’t register when Yunho grabbed some tissues to clean your skin. But the ringtone of your phone was like a brutal reminder that this was only a little bubble that couldn’t last forever. You got up from the bed to answer your phone, Dajeong on the other line reminding you of a gathering with some of your friends that you had completely forgotten, too focused on Yunho and what you just did. As soon as you hung up, you started to put your clothes back on. The awkward silence from before was coming back, but you didn’t want to end it like that. You wished you could’ve stayed with him a little longer, but you had to be realistic : you weren’t his girlfriend and you’ll never be. But when he grabbed your arm and kissed you passionately while you were fully dressed up and he was only wearing his underwear, it felt exactly like that. 

“- Text me later, okay ? I still want us to talk.”

This was becoming too serious for you and you could feel your heart beating too fast for your liking when he cradled your face in his hands to force you to meet his eyes. 

“- So you want to see me again ?

- How could I not ?”

You simply smiled and kissed him again before you left. Your legs were still weak, and when you looked at your reflections in the mirror of the elevator, it was like what you did was written all over your face - in your smudged lipstick and your ruffled hair. But it felt too good, and you were already addicted. You knew it would not be easy to stop, but you preferred to pretend that it could last forever for now. 

You were afraid that everything would feel weird, that you wouldn’t even dare to look at him, or that maybe he would be the one putting an end to all of this. But he didn’t. And the way he was looking at you during his classes could only mean that he craved you just as much as you craved him. And stealing glances at each other was basically all you were able to do for the whole week, because you had a ton of assignments to work on, and because he had too much work. Both of you agreed through text that it was too risky to do anything on the campus, that nothing should happen again in his office. 

However, that didn’t stop your mind from coming back to when he ate you out on his desk, or to him fucking you, or to the way his cock was feeling so heavy on your tongue. And that didn’t stop Yunho from thinking back to your plush thighs clenching around his head, or to your taste, or the way you were screaming his name when he was hitting the right spot. Every night when you came back from your classes, you laid down on your bed, trying to make the aching in your core go away, but the only thing that could satisfy you was him, and you knew it. 

Your frustration reached its peak on Friday when Lola cancelled your night out because she had to work early the next morning. You knew it wasn’t her fault, that it was her colleague for calling in sick just so she could go see her boyfriend, but it still annoyed you, and it was the cherry on top. This whole week would have been stressing enough, but the fact that Yunho made eye contact with you whenever he could, and that he purposefully brushed his fingers against yours every time he handed you some documents added to your irritation. 

You didn’t think twice when you sent him a text, asking him to join you to the hotel because you needed him badly. You didn’t feel ashamed of how desperate and needy you were, because you were too horny to care about the fact that you shouldn’t miss him so much after only one week of not seeing each other. And maybe Yunho should have resisted more but he longed for you, he had wanted you all week and he couldn’t contain his desire anymore. 

This time, he didn’t even greet you when he entered the hotel room, going straight for your lips and taking control of the kiss, devouring your mouth as if you were his oxygen. Maybe you should've talked before doing this again, but lust was clouding his and your mind, none of you thinking about anything else than releasing the tension. 

Soon enough, the floor was covered in your clothes as Yunho manhandled you on your knees, ass up and face down in the pillows, two of his fingers already buried deep inside of you. If last time, he wanted to take his time, today he just needed to ruin you, to break you down, to see you cry for him. And that was exactly what you wanted him to do, what you needed him to do to you. Your brain had already been disconnected, the words coming out of your mouth against your will. 

“- Please Yunho fuck me, please wanna feel you raw, want you to fill me up, please…”

His fingers stilled inside of you for a few seconds, almost making you cry out at the loss of stimulation. What you were asking him to do was crazy, it was not safe, but the way his dick throbbed made all the thinking for him - he wanted that, he dreamt about that.

“- Are you sure about that angel ? 

- Yes, please ! I’m on the pill, I’ll take a plan B, but please I need you, please…”

It was still dangerous, it was still nonsense, but Yunho wasn’t thinking with his brain anymore, nothing logical was crossing his mind anymore. 

“- Fuck, you’re going to kill me Y/N.”

But he loved it, and he loved how tight you felt around him when he pushed his cock inside, loved how he could feel you even better like that, loved how pliant you were in his hold. He gripped your waist as he bottomed out, forcing you to stay still and all you could do was moan out his name like a prayer, because you could feel everything, because it felt even more intense like that, because his strength excited you. And Yunho didn’t hesitate when he started to pound into you, the feeling of your bare cunt around his dick making him delirious. You arched your back more, trying to fuck yourself against his cock because you always wanted more, you always craved more. 

“- You’re such a slut, angel. Fuck ! You’re letting me fuck you raw but you get shy when I look at you, uh ? You’re so fucking naughty.”

You adored it when he called you his good girl, but the way he was holding the back of your neck to keep your head buried in the pillow, and the way he was ruining you felt just as good. The adrenaline rushing in your veins had you getting closer to the edge so quickly, but you didn’t want him to stop. You were unable to say anything else than his name, choking on your words, mewling from the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. 

And Yunho wanted to talk dirty to you, to whisper all the things he knew you loved in your ears, but his mind was clouded with want, and he couldn’t think straight. All he wanted was to spill his load inside of you, do the things he imagined when he was alone, these things he forbade himself to think about. But now he could, and he never felt better than buried deep inside your tight cunt. 

“- Gonna cum inside of you, okay ? Gonna fill you up like the slut you are, angel.

- Please !”

The moan he let out when he stilled inside of you was so erotic you could’ve come only listening to his voice, but the feeling of his cum painting your insides white was what made it for you, your body growing limp in his hold. His grip on your neck and hips tightened, maybe enough to leave you with some marks but you didn’t care. Both of you had trouble coming down, but when you were finally able to, Yunho helped you lay down with him, your head resting on his chest as you were still trying to catch your breath. You felt his fingers brushing your hair away from your face and you looked up at him, your heart skipping a beat when your gaze crossed. 

“- I wasn’t too rough, right ?

- No, it was perfect, I loved it.”

You smiled at each other, and even if it felt too intimate, and even if it was what couples did and not whatever the two of you were, he leaned down to kiss your lips softly. 

“- I loved it too. I think I just want to keep spending a good time with you, I don't want things to get more complicated than they already are, if that’s okay with you. Let’s keep it as simple as possible, yeah ?

- Yeah, I’d like that.”

You were the one to kiss him this time, as if you wanted to seal your agreement, as if it was a silent promise. 

“- Where are we going ?

- It’s a surprise. You can choose the music if you want.”

You didn’t waste any time going through Yunho’s playlist, teasing him about some songs you didn’t think he would listen to and finally settling on a Lana del Ray song. It had been a week since you decided to just do what felt right and not think too much, and he had asked you if you were free to spend your Saturday with him. Of course, you said yes, but you didn’t think that he would pick you up in his car and drive you somewhere, thinking he just wanted to change from the hotel you were always meeting up and show you another place, but it felt like he was literally taking you on a date. 

You watched the landscape unfold through the car window, casually chatting with Yunho about how your week went, about what you ate yesterday, about which book you read lately. Sometimes, you thought that the age difference between the two of you would make things awkward, or that it would clash with your opinions. But it was the exact opposite. Your conversations felt natural, as if you had known each other for decades, as if eight years weren’t separating you. You were twenty-two, you were an adult and you could make your own choices, but sometimes, you were worried about the way he was perceiving you. 

“- Y/N ? We’re almost there.”

You looked down at your phone, seeing that it had in fact been over an hour since he had picked you up and you apparently fell asleep. You yawned as you checked your makeup and hairstyle in the mirror of the sun visor, glad to see that your little nap hadn’t messed up anything. When Yunho stopped the car, you were in a narrow street, where not many stores could be seen. You were about to get out when he asked you to wait, getting out himself and making his way over to the passenger door, opening it for you and offering you his hand to help you out. And smiled up at him as you got out of his car. 

“- You’re such a gentleman.

- For you ? Always.”

His cheeky smile made you giggle, but the fact that he didn’t let go of your hand as he walked you to one of the few shops on the street made your heart skip a beat. He did nastier things to you, said words that would have made anyone feel embarrassed, but for some reason, this small gesture dusted your cheeks in a pink tone that wasn’t due to your excessive use of blush. 

“- I really wanted to show you this place, I think you’re gonna love it.”

He held the door for you, a little bell ringing as you entered a cute, little bookshop. The smell of old pages invaded your nostrils as Yunho guided you through the shelves with a hand on the small of your back. You couldn’t help looking all around, stunned by how much books were in there, by how many you recognized the titles of. The atmosphere of the whole boutique was welcoming and warm, the sunlight reflecting through the coloured glass of the front window displaying moving shadows everywhere and adding to its charm. 

“- You like it ?”

You turned to him with a big smile on your face, almost ready to squeal with excitement. 

“- Of course I like it ! If I could spend my life there I would !

- No one’s stopping you angel.”

A big smile spread on his face as he kissed your forehead and let you wander around, eyes opening wide every time you saw a title you recognized. You were fitting perfectly in the setting with the black bow in your hair, your little brown skirt and your white turtleneck. Yunho was so lost in his contemplation that he almost didn’t hear the lady holding the shop coming out of the stocking room.

“- Yunho ! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you there !

- Yeah Mrs. McMillan, I’m sorry I’ve been quite busy.”

The old lady shook her head, her long, white hair flying around as she did so. 

“- I’ve already told you to call me Isabel, honey, I’m not that old ! And you brought a pretty girl along this time.”

Yunho turned back to you, watching you fondly as you piled up books in your arms, and soon enough the stack would be higher than you. 

“- Is that love I’m seeing in your eyes ?

- No, not at all, she’s only a friend.”

Putting that label on you made his heart ache, because he knew you were so much more than that, and Isabel seemed to know it as well because she looked at him with a gaze filled with disapproval as you came to the counter, still smiling. 

“- Y/N, this is Isabel McMillan, she has been selling books here since I’ve been alive. 

- Nice to meet you Mrs. McMillan ! I have to say that this shop might become my new favourite place, there’s so many things there, it’s incredible !”

Your excitement was contagious as a smile took over the old woman's features too, softening at having someone as passionate as you to compliment her. 

“- Don’t take on your friend’s bad habits, call me Isabel, sweetheart. I’m glad you’re enjoying my hard work. 

- I really do. If I could, I would buy half of these books but sadly I cannot.”

As Isabel noted down the title of the books you wanted to buy - because she didn’t want to use technology, saying it was too tiring to learn these things at her advanced age - Yunho couldn’t detach his eyes from you. 

“- Since you’re with Yunho, and because I’m starting to like you, young lady, I’m going to offer you a little reduction. It’s rare to see people being so dedicated to literature these days, it will not do any harm to my business to encourage you to come again.

- Thank you so much ! But I’m gonna tell you a secret : I would’ve come back, even without that.”

The old lady laughed out loud, along with you and Yunho joined the two of you, because your good mood was infectious. 

“- Do you still have the book I asked you to put away last time ?

- Of course, honey, I’m a woman of words.”

She crouched down behind the counter and came up with a book she handed him. 

“- I’ll pay for it, and all the ones Y/N is taking.

- What ? No, Yunho this is almost fifty euros, it’s too much.

- Can’t I spoil you ? It’s my pleasure angel, I wanna do this for you so let me, okay ?”

The nickname had you unable to hold eye contact with him much longer, and you folded, letting him pay for your books, with butterflies coming alive in your stomach as he held the door for you again on your way out. And Isabel watched all this happen, and she couldn’t help scolding Yunho in his head for being so blind about his own feelings, for being so blind to the way you were looking at him with heart eyes. But after all, it was none of her business. 

“- Put the books in my car, then we can go grab a coffee if you want. 

- I’d like that, yeah ! And thank you for the books, you didn’t have to. 

- Yes, but I wanted to. Stop worrying about that okay ?”

You nodded as you reached his car and you dropped the books on his back seat. But before you could close the door, he handed you the book he took for himself. 

“- This one is also for you. I saw it last time and thought that you might like it. Maybe you could read it while I’m reading one of yours, and when we’re done, we could hand it back with annotations and talk about it. What do you think ?”

When you looked up at him, he looked anxious, maybe because he thought that you wouldn’t like his idea. But you did, the simple fact that he thought about you when seeing this book made you feel dizzy. 

“- I think I love this idea. Wait a minute.”

You turned around, rummaging through all your new books in search of the one you saw and that you bought for the sole reason that it reminded you of him. 

“- I picked up this one thinking about you, actually, so you might read it as well.”

You handed him the book, and he took it gladly as you grabbed the one he picked up for you too. You finally closed the car door and you both headed downtown to find a coffee shop. The first time your hand brushed against his, you didn’t dare to take it. And the second time, he didn’t dare to do it. So the third time, you took a deep breath and intertwined your fingers with his, and he gave your hand a little squeeze, both of you wearing a bright smile on your faces. 

The coffee shop you found was surprisingly pretty empty considering it was a Saturday evening, but you were glad there were not that many people. When you approached the counter, you were ready to recite your favourite coffee order when Yunho took the lead and listed down your usual as if it was written in his mind. You couldn’t even listen to the rest of the things he said to the cashier, focused on why he knew that when you never told him. He must’ve noticed you blankly staring at him, because he turned to you with a little smirk. 

“- What ? You’re surprised I know this ?

- Yes, a little. How did you figure it out ?

- Well, you always come to my classes with the same thing, it was not difficult to notice.”

You rolled your eyes, mainly to hide how flustered the information made you feel. 

“- You’re so obsessed with me.”

As the cashier put your orders down on the counter and announced the price of your drinks, Yunho mouthed “Yes” to you as he paid again for the both of you without letting you enough time to even reach for your purse. And before you could even start to protest, he effectively shut you up by kissing your cheek and dragging you along with him to find an isolated table where you both sat down. As always, the conversation flooded naturally, and you were not thinking about anything displeasing - in this instant, you were truly happy. 

And Yunho was happy too. So when you proposed to play a card game, and that the winner could ask the loser a question about anything, he agreed, even if it was silly, it was okay because it was you. You asked him what his favourite colour was, why he wanted to become a teacher, what he would say to Oscar Wilde if he could talk to him. And he asked you which Austen novel was your favourite, why you wanted to study literature, what your biggest dream was. You were so immersed in your little game that the staff of the coffee shop had to ask you to leave because they were closing the place, and the sky was indeed darker as you got out to walk back to his car. 

He opened the door for you again, and as you watched him make his way to the driver seat, you couldn’t help asking yourself if that was really all he wanted from this afternoon. After all, even if you didn’t put a label on your relationship - if you could even call it that - you knew deep down that the main reason he was seeing you was sex. And if he didn’t plan on having sex with you now, does this mean that this meeting you didn’t dare call a date was only that ? But then, it took you down a rabbit hole of never ending questions that you didn’t want to dig into.

Sensing that your mood was a little down, Yunho didn’t dare to talk too much and disturb you, even if he didn’t understand why. You had a good time, you couldn’t stop smiling and you really seemed to enjoy hanging out with him. And the thought that you could be questioning yourself about your situationship made him a little nervous, though it shouldn’t because this was what it was - a situationship. And it didn’t matter if you made his heart beat faster everytime he saw you. And it didn’t matter if you made him feel alive for the first time in years. It didn’t matter because having more with you was simply impossible. When Yunho parked in front of your dorm, all the serotonin from this day had been washed away with the doubts filling him up.

“- Thank you for everything Yunho, I had a great time.”

But your smile seemed fake, it didn’t reach your eyes as it usually did. And Yunho felt his heart clench painfully. He didn’t want you to feel sad with him. Never. You were supposed to enjoy his company as much as he enjoyed yours. 

“- Are you really alright ? If I overstepped, tell me, please. I don’t want you to keep these things from me Y/N.”

You sighed as you turned your gaze away from him, but his hands on either side of your face forced you to look him in the eyes again. Why did he have to be so perfect all the time ? It would’ve made things so much easier if he didn’t care about you.

“- You did nothing wrong, I’m just thinking too much. 

- About what ?

- I just think we should be more careful if we start going out like that because someone could recognize us. And you could lose your job, or I could get kicked out. I’m probably just being paranoid but…”

That was not the problem, but you didn’t want to talk about the real reason you were feeling so melancholic. Because it would probably ruin everything, and you needed him too much for your own good, you needed him too much to risk losing him.

“- You’re not being crazy, okay ? I understand, and if you’re afraid we might meet someone we know, we can go somewhere else next time, anywhere you wanna go, i’ll take you. How does that sound ? 

- Good. It sounds good.

- Then we’ll be doing that.” 

You nodded, and even if you still felt a little bad, one look from him was enough to make you feel better, to make your worries all go away. So even if your heart was screaming for you not to, you let him kiss your forehead, and then your lips, so softly it made you weak in the knees. But it felt too good to ask him to stop. So you didn’t, and you just kissed him back until you were out of breath. 

“- I’m gonna go, I have to work on your assignment because fucking the teacher won’t get me a free pass, right ?

- That’s the spirit angel, I’m always expecting the best from you.

- Then I have to start now. Be careful on the road, Yu.”

He nodded and watched you get out of his car, not leaving until he saw you get inside the building of your dorm. And then only did he authorise himself to let out a sigh. Because you were too sweet to be true, because you gave him a little nickname that had him feeling much more things than he shouldn’t, because your scent was still lingering everywhere and it was driving him crazy. You were driving him crazy, to be honest. 

And it was bad, really bad. Yunho didn't mean for things to go this far, but he felt like he couldn’t stop now. And if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want to stop now that he had a taste of you. However, it still felt incredibly wrong to go home to his girlfriend when he had spent the day with you and that he didn’t think about her only once. The smell of home cooked food hit him as soon as he stepped inside, and the weight on his shoulders even more heavy as he announced that he was home. 

“- You’re coming back late, baby ! But that’s okay, at least everything is ready for dinner, I made your favourite !”

Guiltiness was creeping up inside of him with every word she said, and everything sounded so fake when he served her his lie about having an important meeting with his colleagues. She didn’t deserve this, she didn’t do anything for him to stop loving her. On the contrary, Hana was always sweet and caring, she was there for him and had been for years. But maybe it was the problem. Maybe it has been too long.  But Yunho perfectly knew the real reason, it was just too painful to admit it, and it would make things too real. 

For a while, he preferred to ignore the fact that you were making the flames come alive again in his heart. He preferred to ignore how much stronger his feelings for you were than for his girlfriend he was supposed to love and cherish and marry soon. But was it really a crime when everything she was doing, everything they were doing seemed faked, forced, done out of habit rather than because of true love and affection ? Yunho knew that he was already in too deep with you to stop, and the way Hana was not paying attention to what he was saying was making him feel a little less remorseful about the way he was only seeing your face when she was kissing him good night. 

Work and classes have been hectic for the both of you these past weeks, so Yunho’s proposal of a getaway trip to the beach this weekend felt like a bubble of oxygen. Sure, you had seen each other, but for never more than a quickie. Sure, you didn’t stop sending each other texts and photos to keep up with your days, but you wanted to hear him calling you angel again. And even if it was supposed to be only that, even if you shouldn’t want that, you still missed spending time with him, talking with him. So you held on to the promise of this little break with him to finally breathe and relax.

When you finally spotted his car parked a few streets away from your dorm, and his tall frame leaning against the drivers’ door, the wind blowing his perfectly styled hair, your heart started to beat faster. The rush you got everytime you laid your eyes on him never flattered. And you didn’t really think about it when you ran to him and threw yourself in his arms. You could hear him chuckling as he buried his face into your neck, holding you closer to him and spinning you around. Both of you needed this hug, and Yunho couldn’t ever get tired of your addicting scent, breathing you in for a moment before he cradled your face into his hands to kiss you like he had wanted to these past few days.

“- I missed you, angel. 

- We literally saw each other yesterday.

- But not like that.”

This comment was enough to make heat rise into your body again. But you simply slapped his chest playfully as he giggled like an idiot. But he didn’t mind your teasing, it was entertaining. Like the gentlemen he always was, Yunho opened the door of the car for you. Every time he drove you somewhere, you felt like a passenger princess - getting to choose the music, opening the windows whenever you wanted, holding his hand when he didn’t need it. The weather was starting to warm up a little, and you smiled as you felt the pleasant air hit your face, making your hair fly in every direction. 

And yes, Yunho felt a little guilty for cancelling plans he had with his girlfriend to take you to the beach, but he needed it. He needed to escape from his life and his routine for just one day, but more importantly, he needed you. He didn’t want to spend his weekend with her family, he wanted to spend it with you. And as he watched you run towards the water, squealing as the cold liquid touched your bare feets, he felt like it was worth it. Your long skirt was floating around you to the rhythm of the wind, and to him, you’ve never looked more beautiful than right now - with your hair all messy, and the brightest smile he’s ever seen on your face directed at him, asking him to come with you. 

There were only a few other people on the beach, allowing you to be as affectionate as you wished. The picnic both of you had prepared was spent between sweet kisses and mindless conversation. And then, Yunho laid down to rest his head on your lap while you read another book he had given to you. You mindlessly started to run your hands through his hair, smiling lightly when he released a satisfied sigh, relaxing even more. And Yunho swore he could’ve fallen asleep just like that - with the sun warming up his body and your presence warming up his heart. 

“- It’s been so long since I’ve last gone to the beach…”

Your self-reflection steered Yunho out of his slumber, looking up at you to find you entirely focused on the landscape in front of your eyes. Suddenly, your tone was a lot more nostalgic, and he couldn’t help his curiosity. Because yes, he knew your body like the back of his hands by now, and he knew what you were liken but he knew so little about your past, about you - the you he was starting to fall in love with. 

“- But you grew up close to the ocean, right ?

- Yeah. We used to go every weekend, it was always the best day of the week and I was so excited to go every time. But when my parents started to fight, we stopped going. Apparently, it reminded them of too many memories and they had no time to do that anymore. I tried to go alone once. I was maybe eight ? I don’t remember well, but I know that I got scolded so badly I’ve never tried it again, even as a teenager. And I kinda had an apprehension to go see the ocean again. 

- I didn’t know that. I’m sorry for proposing that, we can leave whenever you want if you don’t feel comfortable, angel.”

Your eyes finally came back to him, smiling softly at him as you pushed a strand of his hair away from his forehead, your touch making goosebumps come alive on his skin. 

“- It’s okay, I’m over all that now. And when I think back about it, these trips were never perfect. My parents were already fighting back then, I was just too young to understand what it meant. But today I’m here with you, so I knew it would be nothing like that. You make everything better, Yu.”

You leaned forward, pecking his lips for a second or two, but it was enough to make Yunho smile again. He had no idea your childhood could’ve been so chaotic, and from what you told him, he could easily imagine the classic scheme through which you went. And it made sense with the women you were today - strong, independent and determined. But he also learned that you needed him to baby you sometimes, and he was always willing to let you fall into his open arms every time you needed to. And the fact that you were slowly opening up more and more to him everyday felt like a reward. 

“- What was your childhood like ?

- Well, I have a pretty conservative and religious family, and I’ve always felt like I’ve never belonged with them. My parents love me, I know they do, but it’s like I don’t fit in with them, you know ? It’s a strange feeling, but I’ve always been the rebel one : I didn’t do the studies my parents wanted me to do, and I didn’t follow every one of their rules as I grew up, and I’ve never had the same faith as them. I think that’s what disturbed them the most. 

- The feeling of being a disappointment, and of going against the flow is never easy to deal with, especially as a kid. But look where you are now. They should be proud of you for doing a job you love. At least, I’m proud of you.”

This time, Yunho made the first move to kiss you. 

“You’re really an angel, too good to be true.

- I could say the same about you.” 

Because he simply had that aura that made you feel safe, that made you feel comfortable, that made you feel at home. Every time you looked into his eyes, it was as if nothing else existed, as if he was the only thing that was real. But you didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to dwell on what it meant, didn’t want to think about the fact that this won’t last forever. Instead, you kept on talking, telling each other some childhood memories. And it all felt so peaceful, like you were all alone, like it was both of you against the rest of the world, like you were in a little bubble that could never burst. 

And Yunho really wished he could stay like that with you forever, but the sun was starting to go down and the wind was turning colder. You could’ve fallen asleep on the ride home, lulled by the way he was quietly humming to the songs of the playlist you choose. This day made you forget about everything else, made the stress go away, made all your worries disappear. But you knew it was not only because you got away, but mostly because Yunho was with you. He always had that effect on you, no matter how hard you tried to resist it. You didn’t want this day to end, you didn’t want this feeling to ever go away. So as he parked near your dorm, you kissed his lips one more time.

“- Do you want to come up ? My roommate is not here. 

- What about being careful, angel ? Anyone could recognize me here. 

- It’s Sunday, everyone is either locked up in their rooms working or spending the day out. No one will see you. Please ?”

The fact that you started to kiss down his neck as well as your pleading eyes were close to breaking Yunho’s resolve. He knew he shouldn’t let you have this much of an effect on him, but you had that effect and he couldn’t deny the way he weakly said “yes” and let you drag him to your dorm room. But the way you were giggling against his lips as you pushed him to sit down on your bed made him forget all about his doubts. As you dropped to your knees on the ground, settling between his legs, Yunho couldn’t help the shaky breath that escaped him. 

“- I think I have to pay you back for today, don’t I ?”

The smirk playing on your lips as you unbuckled his belt and helped him get out of his pants did nothing to calm his heartbeat down. And the way you were always so eager to take care of him, to have your mouth on him, did nothing to help either. But it felt too good, so he didn’t stop you and let you kiss his tip one time before you started to kitten-lick his cock. 

“- Fuck, don’t tease, angel. 

- But you look so pretty like that.”

Your pouty lips made him want to spoil you but also to be a little mean. But you were such a good girl for him, taking all of him in your mouth. Everytime you were getting down on your knees for him, Yunho couldn’t help the rush of adrenaline going through his veins.  He threw his head back when he felt your cheeks hollowing, sucking him in deeper. He wanted to stay like that forever, with you drooling around his cock, and his hands buried in your hair. But he needed to have his mouth on you too, to make you feel good. So he took advantage of your size difference to throw you on the bed with ease, pushing up your long skirt so he could dip his head under the material and lick a strip of your wet cunt through your panties. 

“- Yunho… Please, don’t tease.

- But you look so pretty like that.”

You smiled as you lightly slapped his shoulder, eliciting a few chuckles from him before he helped you get out of your underwear and finally got a taste of your cunt. You could only see the top of his head, but the way he was subtly nibbling on your clit had you closing your eyes to appreciate the moment even more. His tongue lapping at your cunt was sending you to places you’ve never been, and you couldn’t care less about the other people at the dorm who might hear you whining his name loudly. This day was so perfect, Yunho was so perfect. You couldn’t ask for more. Or you could, but you would be pushing your luck, and you didn’t want anything else if it meant you could be with him in some way. But you didn’t want to think about all that right now, so you pushed his head further in between your thighs. 

“- Don’t stop, please…”

Yunho groaned against your folds, doubling his efforts to bring you to the edge, practically making out with your pussy at this point. But you didn’t mind, not at all. You wanted him, wanted every little part of his body and soul to be yours. As you felt your orgasm approaching, you started to grind against his face, moaning at the way his nose was bumping against your clit every time you rocked your hips. And when you came with a cry of pleasure, Yunho made sure to hold your thighs open for him to eat you until he had gulped down the last drop of your juices. 

“- How do you taste better every time ? I’ll never get tired of it.

- Good. Because I don't want you to stop.” 

Both of you were still half clothed, but you didn’t mind it as Yunho came up to kiss your lips, his tongue finding yours easily and his hands grabbing your breast over your top like a second nature. Everything felt so familiar, so right, like you were where you should be. Your lips were sealed to his, from the moment he pulled out his condom to the moment his cock entered you, only separating for a brief instant when you moaned in harmony. 

And no words where needed as he made love to you. Because there was no other way to define how he was fucking you, to define the tenderness of his touch, the fondness of his gaze, the softness of his breath hitting your skin. Every sound he elicited from you was immediately drowned in his mouth, your hands tugging at the material of his shirt as you felt close to the edge again. You felt full of so many emotions you couldn’t even name them all, but you knew that Yunho was the only reason you were feeling all that. 

“- I’m close…

- Me too, angel…”

The words you’ve been meaning to say for some time almost slipped past your lips as you felt the rush of pleasure course through your body. And if Yunho hadn’t nuzzled his head into your neck, he would’ve probably been about to say them too. As you came down of your little paradise where nothing existed except for him, you realised how close you’ve been to fuck it all up. And you didn’t want that - you were going to take everything you could have from this relationship, and no matter the state you would end up in, it would be worth it because it was him. 

“- Hey ! Watch where you’re going Y/N !”

Dajeong kept you from walking straight into the door that opened just in front of your face. You sheepishly thanked her, and tried to not get lost in your thoughts again.

“- You seem absent since yesterday. Did something happen this weekend ?”

You knew exactly why you were so absorbed, you knew it. But you couldn’t say it, you couldn’t talk about it with her. It would mean putting Yunho in a dangerous situation, and yourself too. And what would she think of you ? You were always the first one to comment on how stupid all the girls crushing on your teacher were, and now you were the one who ended up in his bed every time he needed you.

“- It’s nothing, I just… Don’t know what to do about something and I’m thinking about it a little too much.”

Your eyes travelled from your friend by your side to Yunho’s silhouette. He was standing near the door of his office, having a lively conversation with a woman you’ve never seen before but you supposed that she was one of his colleagues. You had no right to be jealous. And you weren’t. Not really, at least. You were not jealous about seeing him with someone else, you were mentally prepared for that to happen. But you were jealous of how good she looked beside him, thinking about how ridiculous you must be whenever you were going out with him. Your age difference was visible, and everything felt much more right when he was with someone his age. But you quickly averted your gaze from them, not seeing the pained look on Yunho’s face as he turned his head your way. 

“- You wanna talk about it tonight ? 

- I don’t know, it’s complicated.”

Dajeong smiled at you and grabbed you by your arm, trying to cheer you up a little. She didn’t like to see you down - you were always so energetic and joyful, it felt odd whenever you were like that. 

“- No matter what you decide, I’m here. And I’m keeping you home for a movie night anyway.

- I'd like that a lot. Thank you.

- I told you, I’m here for you.”

You thanked her again and tried not to think about Yunho for the rest of the day. You weren’t even mad at him, except the fact that you had no right feeling like that, it was mostly because you realised that you really couldn’t be with him for more than what you already were. And it hurt more than you think it would have, because even if you tried to stop yourself from daydreaming about a future with him, you still did, and you had started to believe that it could happen, that it could be true. But you had to be sensible and remind yourself that it was impossible, that even if there was the slightest chance that he loved you, he could never do it in the open, and you were not ready to stay a secret your whole life. But you still went to his office after your classes because he had asked you to. When you entered the room, Yunho was waiting for you, anxiously chewing on his nails. He gestured for you to close the door behind you and when you made sure it was locked, you took his hands in yours, confusion lingering in your eyes. 

“- What is it Yu ? Are you alright ?

- I should be the one asking you that.

- Why ?

- Because of what you saw this morning. It’s not what you think, I swear there’s nothing between us, she’s just another teacher I’m working with. I’m not doing any-

- Stop.”

And he did it, mouth closing shut as you tried to not let all the doubts and the melancholy that invaded you today be perceived in your voice or your touch. You stood on your tippy toes to kiss his lips softly, hoping that it would calm him down a little. 

“- I didn’t think anything about it, okay ? I’m not mad, or sad, or anything else. And you can do absolutely what you want, you know, it’s not like I’m your girlfriend or anything. I don’t have a word to say about your relationships.”

The words hurt you, but they hurt him too. He knew you weren’t his girlfriend, he made that clear enough so you understood that nothing like that could ever happen. But it still felt wrong to hear you say that, he still felt bad at seeing the slight discomfort in your eyes. However, you didn’t let him reflect on that too much as you let go of his hands. 

“- Don’t worry about that, okay ? I have to go, I have plans with Dajeong for tonight but text me if you need anything.

- Yeah, have a good night angel.”

You smiled at him before leaving and Yunho’s heart clenched when he saw you go out one more time. Every night you spent together, you had always left before him, and every time, he wished you could stay a little more. And every time, he prayed that it would not be the last time he was going to see you. Even if everything about this was wrong, he didn’t want it to end, and for once, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to think about himself, to put his happiness first and not everyone else’s opinions. 

That’s why when you told him you had a really bad day, a few weeks after this incident, he decided to think about what made him happier lately and put you first. So he picked you up after class, without telling you where you were going, but it had become a habit of his to never reveal the destination of your little adventures. The ride was silent, the music being the only sound disturbing the quiet atmosphere, but as soon as Yunho parked on the hill that overlooked the whole city so you could see the sunset, you bursted into tears. Yunho pulled you into his lap, running his hands through your hair to calm you down, and encouraging you to talk to him. 

“- Tell me what’s going on, angel. 

- I’m just… Everything I do, it’s never enough. There’s always someone who’s doing it better, there’s always someone to remind me that I’m enough. I’m never enough, for anything or anyone.”

Seeing you like that broke his heart, but Yunho didn’t let his own emotions overpower him. He cradled your face in his hands, whipping your tears away tenderly. 

“- You are enough Y/N, you’ve always been enough and the way you’re feeling right now does not reflect what you really are. You’re doing so much all the time, and for everyone. I promise you are enough, angel. And I’m proud of the person you are, I’m proud of you.”

You nuzzled your head in his chest, a little more serene than five minutes before, his scent soothing your heart and your mind, and his touch so soft and delicate you could’ve fallen asleep in his arms. You stayed like that for a moment, not needing to say anything else as his presence was enough to get you to relax, and you couldn’t say if you spent ten minutes or an hour like that, but you felt so peaceful you didn’t want to move. Whenever you were with him, it was like a little bubble engulfed the two of you, and that nothing else existed beside him and everything he was making you feel. 

“-  Thank you, Yu.”

And you pecked his lips to reinforce that idea. And Yunho pushed away a strand of your hair before he kissed you too, deepening it when you whimpered against his mouth and wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him closer to you. And you stayed there, simply making out and quietly talking about nothing and everything. But it was enough to calm you down. And it was enough for Yunho to be sure about what he wanted to do. But not now. Not when you were so vulnerable he felt like you could break in his arms. 

“- Can you take me home ? I’m tired.

- Of course, angel. I just need to stop by the gas station.”

You nodded and kissed him one last time before getting back in your seat. Your mood was much better on the way back, casually chatting with Yunho as he drove you home with his hand comfortably resting on your thigh. You mindlessly played with his fingers, not really paying attention to the road. You only registered the notifications noises from his phone when he was out and paying for his gas. You glanced at his illuminated screen, not really wanting to know who was texting him but just out of habit, and the nickname of the person texting him was all you needed to know. “My girl 💕” was enough to understand that you weren’t the only one, that he wasn’t as invested in this relationship as you. You were aware of all these things, but to be hit by the realisation, to be faced with the truth was harsh. When he sat back down in his seat, you had to brace yourself so the tears wouldn’t spill from your eyes, so the words you were about to scream at his face wouldn’t slip out from your mouth. 

“- Are you alright, angel ?

-  Hum, yeah, I just wanna go home and sleep. Don't worry.”

You offered him a little smile and he caressed your cheek, but you had to mentally restrain yourself from pushing his hand away. You let him drive you home, forcing yourself to smile and seem normal and composed. Only when you were snuggled underneath your blankets did you allow yourself to let the tears fall freely from your eyes. You were expecting this to stop at some point, but not like that. You were trusting him, you thought he was telling you the truth, you thought that what would separate you would only be the fact that it was impossible, but not that. 

It was so unlike him, always so kind and gentle, always thinking about you and your comfort first. That was surely why you never thought he would do something like that. But after all, you should've seen it coming. This was truly too good to be true, too perfect to last. But you would've wanted it to last for a little longer, for forever. And coming back to reality was hard, it was like waking up from a dream to realise you were only living in a nightmare all this time. That night, you fell asleep with his scent still lingering on your clothes, and dried tears covering your cheeks. 

The next morning, you weren’t doing any better, if not worse. The truth was sinking in, and you were not strong enough to answer his texts yet, leaving him on read and purposely ignoring his demand to see you today. You got up from your bed either way, only because you needed to eat to compensate for your empty heart, and that what Dajeong must have cooked smelled really good. 

“- Wow ! You look like a zombie. A cute zombie, but still a zombie.”

You smiled a little, but it didn’t reach your eyes. You sat down on the stool of the kitchen, watching your roommate finishing up your meal, mind clouded with thoughts of him even if he was the last thing you wanted to think about. 

“- On a serious note, are you alright ?”

The casual question made you tear up again, and you had to take a deep breath so you would not cry again. Dajeong turned off the stove and came to sit down beside you, one hand resting on your shoulder as she encouraged you to talk to her. And you did. You told her everything about what had been going on between Yunho and you for months. It felt like it all started yesterday, like it was only a dream. But with the way it was about to end, you rather have not started this at all. 

“- I would’ve never thought that you would be the type to go out with our teacher. 

- I know. There’s just something about him that I can’t get enough of. I… I think I love him.”

It was the first time you dared to say the words. But it was true. You loved him even if you tried to resist it, even if you tried not to succumb to the temptation he was. But you gave in, and you were happy for as long as it lasted. You knew it would hurt, but you didn’t think it would hurt that much. You underestimated how important he became, how much you relied on him for everything. 

“- And it’s not even the fact that he has a girlfriend or someone else that makes me mad, I was okay with that because I had come to terms with the fact that I will never be more than what we were. But he treated me like I was more, he made me think that he cared about me just to pull out something like that. And I had to find out, he didn’t even have the balls to tell me himself. 

-  He’s a coward, I must admit. And he clearly doesn’t deserve you. He could have never loved you like you need to be loved, you’ll always be a secret with him. It’s better like that. 

- Maybe. But it hurts.”

Some tears escaped your eyes again, and Dajeong didn’t hesitate before pulling you into a tight hug, caressing your head as a way to calm you down. She knew how much a heartbreak could hurt, especially when it ended up like that, especially when it was as intense as what you had. 

“- I know, lovely. It’s gonna take time, but it’s gonna stop hurting eventually. But I think you should talk with him, ask him clearly what’s going on before completely cutting him out of your life. You need closure, you at least deserve that.”

You nodded as Dajeong proposed that you spent the day together, doing some skincare and talking again and again about the same people for the hundredth time while watching some silly movies to cheer you up. And you did exactly that, trying to not think about him for at least one day. You were anxious to go back to class on Monday, fearing that everything would be awkward, or that he would completely ignore you. Somehow, you found the courage to send him a text throughout the weekend, simply to tell him that you needed some space, some time to think about you and him. You didn’t see the point of lying to him, and you silenced his notifications just after. You were strong enough to answer him, but not to witness him pretend and care about you.

Your resolve started to crumble when you saw how miserable he looked the next few days in class. His eye bags were terrible, and he seemed to have lost all his energy. Usually, Yunho would animate all his classes and passionately teach you his subject, but lately, he was only giving you some group work to do, keeping his interventions to a minimum. He spent his time sitting at his desk, either trying to grade some papers or zoning out, looking through the windows. Everytime his sad eyes fell into yours, your heart clenched and ached. But you didn’t have the strength to confront him about what you saw on his phone. You wanted to talk to him, you wanted him to deny, to tell you it was not what you were thinking and that you were the only one - even if you knew it was impossible and that dreaming about it made everything hurt ten times more badly. 

You missed him. You missed hearing his voice, his laugh. You missed his smile, and the dimple he had when you made a terrible joke he couldn’t help giggling at. You missed his touch, the way every time his skin was against yours everything else disappeared. You missed being in his arms, and the sentiment of security it gave you. You simply missed him, and having to see him everyday without being able to look at him for more than a few seconds was a torture. And even if you had unblocked him because you were weak, you continued to ignore every one of his texts and calls either way. It was painful, but a lot less than if he told you face to face that he had someone else, that he lied to you, that he made you fall head over heels for you before fucking it all up, before crushing your heart in between his fingers. 

One day, when you came back to your dorm, you found flowers waiting for you by the door. There was no card with it, but Yunho was the only one who knew that lilies were your favourite flowers. And you cried again when you opened the trash can only to find yourself unable to throw the bouquet away. So you kept it, putting it in a vase and placing it on the kitchen’s counter, seeing him every time you looked at the flowers. 

Another day, when you handed him back an assignment and that your hand brushed against his, it was like time stopped for a moment. Your breath was knocked out of your lungs as you looked up at him, and the plethora of emotions you caught dancing in Yunho’s eyes was enough to bring you back to when he was calling you angel, to when he was treating you like the most beautiful girl in the world. You ran away as quickly as possible, because you were on the verge of telling him that you loved him, and that it would only make things even more complicated than they already were. You felt so stupid for falling for your teacher, but you felt even more ridiculous for believing that you could be more than a side piece to him. 

However, that didn’t stop you from looking at the texts he sent to you, asking you to come meet him in his office because he wanted to explain everything properly. You heard Dajeong words ringing in your head as you took a deep breath and entered the room you had grown familiar with. His scent surrounded you immediately, and Yunho jumped upon your arrival. His glasses were sitting on the bridge of his nose, and his hair were completely dishevelled. You still managed to be smitten by his ethereal beauty. But the way he was looking at you with such desperation forced you to avoid his gaze quickly. 

“- Y/N…”

His voice broke down, and your heart broke too, a little more every time he tried to start a sentence. Yunho wanted to forget everything, to hold you in his arms and promise you the world. But he couldn’t, and the way you were hugging yourself made him want to get down on his knees and beg for your forgiveness. In all honesty, he would do it in the blink of an eye if you asked him, he would do anything if it meant you would forgive him. But it was nearly impossible, and he was well aware of that, but you deserved an explanation - that and so much more. 

“- What did you want to tell me ?”

Your tone was harsher than you wanted it to be, and you didn’t dare look his way, and Yunho didn’t dare make a step in your direction, afraid that you would run away again. But he had to tell you the truth, he had to be honest for once. 

“- It’s not what you think, angel.

- Please, spare me with that, I’m not blind, nor an idiot.

- No, you’re not… And that’s why you deserve to know what is going on. The message you saw the other night was from… My girlfriend.”

You knew it, but to hear him say it was different. It hit exactly the right spot to reopen some wounds that had never healed. You already felt on the verge of tears, but you tried to keep them under control, gripping the handles of your tote bag to ground yourself in reality and brace yourself for what was coming. 

“- But I don’t love her anymore, it's been a long time since I’ve stopped feeling anything for her. We met when we were in highschool, and we were a good match at that time. She was my friend before becoming more, but after all this time, there's nothing left of what I felt for her in the beginning. We were only kids, I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life and my family had already planned my future with her. They want me to marry her. But I don’t, not at all. But if I leave her, I know that they will never want to see me again. So I stayed with her but you made me realise what it was to live and be happy again, and that I don’t want to marry someone I don't genuinely love.”

While he was talking, Yunho took some steps in your direction, trying to maintain eye contact with you even if all he wanted was to slap himself in the face for how stupid he had been to think he could handle this the way he did it, to think that you would never discover his secret. At least, you were here. At least, you were listening to him. It should mean something. It should mean that everything wasn’t over yet, right ? Yunho held on to that, but when he tried to reach for your hand and you took a step back, your eyes glistening with tears, it was hard to believe that everything could be alright. And to know that he was the reason you were crying made him feel even more guilty.

“- I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, angel. I wanted to do it a million times, but I was so afraid of losing what we had, I didn’t want to freak you out. And I couldn’t lose you. You are my oxygen, my breath of fresh air in the middle of all this mess, and I need you. I promise I wanted to tell you everything the night you discovered it. But you became so quiet all of sudden, and when I looked at my phone, I assumed you had seen her text. But I swear on my life, I wanted to tell you. I should’ve never lied to you in the first place, I know that, and you can’t imagine how sorry I am.”

You were now sobbing uncontrollably, trying to cover up your voice with your hand, but the hot tears falling down your cheeks were enough proof of how affected you were. Yunho wanted to cradle you in his arms, to protect you from the world like he always did, but he couldn’t shield you from himself and his mistakes. He was supposed to be your safe place, your comfort zone, not to make you feel like that.

“- Do you understand how bad I felt when I saw this message, Yunho ? I… I knew this wouldn’t last, but to realise that you lied to me all this time was even more painful. You made me believe that we had a future together, and you treated me like your girlfriend even when I was not, even when you had someone waiting for you at home. And it hurts.”

Your voice broke down on the last words. You felt pathetic, some kind of silly, naive girl who couldn’t see what was right in front of her eyes, some kind of idiot who thought that it could end well, that it could end without you suffering too much. 

“- I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. And I’ll spend the rest of my life apologising if that’s what you want. We can have a future together, I want a future with you.

- I can’t see it. I-I can’t ask you to leave her, and to turn your back on your whole family for me. ”

One tear rolled down Yunho’s cheek, and you wanted to wipe it away, but he did it himself before you could do anything. It was better like that. If you felt his skin against yours again, you didn’t know if you would be able to finish what you started. 

“- I could do it. If it’s what it takes to keep you with me I’ll do it. I’ll do anything. I love you, Y/N. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. I love you so bad it makes my heart ache. I’m ready to do everything it takes to be with you. Everything.”

You should’ve been happy to hear these words you were longing for him to say, only weeks prior. But right now, it only broke your heart more, it only pushed the knife a little deeper into your open wounds. 

“- That’s not what I want for you, you deserve better. I don’t want to fuck up your whole life, even if it meant I could love you.

- But you are my whole life, you’re the only thing I need.”

You wanted to believe him. You wanted to say yes so bad. You wanted to fall back into his touch, to fall back into his arms. But you couldn’t. Still, you let him caress your cheek, swiping his thumb against it to get rid of the tears that had dropped there. It was like you could finally breathe, as if the weight on your heart and the knot in your throat had disappeared only because he touched you. He always had that effect on you. But you had to leave, you had to leave or you would cave in and you knew it wasn’t good for you. So you took his hand in yours, pushing it away slowly, as if not to scare him away. You looked up into his teary, brown eyes. It broke your heart to see him in such a state, but you had to think about yourself too. You had to take care of yourself now that he wasn’t here to do that anymore. 

“- I’m sorry, I need some time to think. I’m… Not sure I can love you like this anymore. I’m sorry.”

He tried to smile at you, but it was joyless, without this little sparkle in his eyes that you loved so much. 

“- You don’t have to apologise, angel. You did nothing wrong, I’m the one who fucked up. I’m the only one to blame here. Take all the time you need, I’ll wait for you.”

You nodded, and you finally let go of his hand, painfully slow to feel his touch for as long as possible. You took a last look at him before turning away and unlocking the door of his office. 

“- Goodbye, Yunho.”

It felt like you were saying farewell, and Yunho wanted to run after you, to beg you to let him still be a part of your life. But he had to respect your choice. So he stayed still, standing there as if it could freeze time in place and give him the ability to come back in time and do things differently. But it was too late, and the only thing he could do was give you space and hope you would grant him a second chance, and hope you would be kind enough to forgive him even if he didn’t deserve it at all. 

You thought that clearing up the situation with Yunho would make it easier for you to move on and forget him as you had initially planned, but you clearly were in the wrong. Feeling his eyes on you was even more painful now. But at least, he seemed to have found his energy back. It was the only thing that made you feel a little better. Because you felt like shit, even if you tried to convince yourself that what you did was for the best, that you couldn’t be together, that you had to be sensible, you didn’t want to do all that. You craved his touch, his kisses, his loving gaze. You craved him and his soothing aura. You craved his love. You wanted him back, but everything was so complicated, everything was so messed up, you weren’t even sure it could work. 

Even if Yunho respected your wish for space and time, he still hadn’t stopped texting you throughout your days - reminders for you to drink, eat and rest properly. You never answered but you saw the messages and it was all that mattered to him. And even if he tried to come back to his daily life, to his routine, he couldn’t. You had taken such an important place in his heart that everything felt empty without you and your smile to brighten his world. Nothing felt as appealing as before. Reading couldn’t take his mind out of things anymore, because he could only see your annotations on the ones you had given to him. And everytime he passed by Mrs McMillan bookstore, his thoughts immediately came back to you and how pretty you looked that day. 

So when some colleagues from the university invited him to have some drinks after work, he said yes. Yunho hoped that some alcohol and talking about anything and everything could take his mind off of you. But all it did was make it worse. With each drink, he felt the urge to call you even stronger. All he wanted was to at least hear your voice, hear his name fall from your lips, see your face, even if the pain he caused was written all over it. 

“- Angel…

- Yunho ? Why are you calling me ? Is there something wrong.”

He sighed in relief at finally hearing your voice ringing in his ears again, at finally hearing you say his name. He preferred the surname you had granted him, but he would take everything that you were willing to give him. 

“- I just… I miss you, and I need you, and I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you again. Because I feel like I didn’t apologise enough.

- It’s okay, I swear. I told you I need some time. Everything is…. Puzzling.

- Still, I’m sorry. 

- I know you are.”

There was silence, but the fact that you hadn’t hung up yet made a little bit of hope blossom in his heart. Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe there was still a world in which you could grant him your forgiveness. 

“- I can’t imagine my life without you. I tried. But I can’t. I need you, angel.

- You know that we can’t, that I can’t. You have a girlfriend, and your family, a career. I can’t just come in and mess up everything.

- I don’t care about all of that. If I’m with you it’s worth it. Please, angel, let me at least see you, even if it’s the last time I get to have you. I want you, one last time. After that, I’ll let you go if that’s what you really want, and I promise you will never have to worry about me again.”

You stayed silent for a while again, your defeated sigh being the only noise echoing through the line.

“- Okay. But this is the last time.”

However, when you joined him in the hotel room you had grown familiar with, you didn’t want it to be the last time. You wanted to stay in his arms forever. You didn’t talk, afraid of the things you could say, afraid you would beg him to stay, to come back, to do exactly what he swore he would do if only you asked him. But you tried not to think about that as you let him kiss you tenderly, as if you were going to break under his touch. And you might, because you needed him so bad it made everything hurt when he was not there.

No words were exchanged as you got rid of your clothes. No words were exchanged when you pushed him down onto the bed and straddled his thighs. No words were needed when you kissed him for the first time in weeks. It felt like you could both finally breathe, like you felt alive again, and it made all the pain go away for just a moment. 

“- I missed you, angel, missed you so fucking much…

- Me too, Yu.”

This was all you were able to say before he shut you up with another desperate kiss, making out with you as if it was the last time he got to have your lips on his - and maybe it would be. So you just decided to shut off your brain, simply running your hands through his hair and thinking about nothing else. You wanted to take your time and appreciate his touch, his eyes and the way he was moaning under your hands, but it felt like you were in a hurry, quickly discarding both of your underwear and sinking down on his cock. You gripped his shoulders, closing your eyes as you let yourself bask into the feeling of finally being full. But your desire took over you, grinding on his dick desperately.

And Yunho couldn’t look at your face, couldn’t see your beautiful eyes without thinking back to them filling up with tears the day he messed up everything between the two of you. But his body was overwhelmed by the feeling of you wrapped around him after weeks of only being able to look at you from afar, relying on his souvenirs to remember what it felt like to kiss you. He desperately wanted to engrave your face in his memories and keep it there forever, but it was too hard. So instead, he just flipped you over the bed, burying his head in your neck to not be tempted to cross your gaze anymore. But his hands still found their way to yours, fingers intertwining as he sped up the pace of his thrusts, both of you moaning in harmony. 

It wasn’t as intimate or as emotional as Yunho wanted your last time together to be like. But the alcohol was clouding his mind even more than everything he felt for you, and the urge to make you his - even if you weren’t, and that you would never be - was taking over him more and more with every clench of your cunt around him. 

“- Fuck, angel… Tell me you love me please…”

You didn’t want to, because you knew how that would make both of you feel, but the words spilled out from your lips before you could stop it, squeezing his hands tighter. 

“- I love you, I love you so much…”

It was enough for Yunho to feel a rush of emotions and desire flood through his veins, his thrusts becoming sloppy and losing any kind of rhythm. It all felt too much, from the way he was hitting your sweet spot to the way his little whines mixed with “i love you”’s that made your heart throb and your mind wanting to hear more of them. It all felt too much to the point you felt on the verge of tears as he laid on top of you, trying to regain some consciousness. But you were fully aware of everything that had just happened, and even if you wanted nothing more than to spend another night in his arms, you knew it wouldn’t do you any good. So you stayed like that until he fell asleep, murmuring again and again against your skin how much you meant to him, that he needed you. And then you ran away, putting your clothes back on in a hurry and checking out your appearance in the mirror of the elevator you had grown familiar with. Except that this time, there was nothing left from the joyful sparkle that usually brightened your eyes whenever you left the hotel. All you could see was how miserable he made you once again, all you could see were the tears cascading down your cheeks and along the marks he left on your neck. You slapped your hand on your mouth, pathetically trying to cover up your sobs. It hurt even more than that day, for some reasons. It all hurt too much to hold it in. 

When Yunho woke up in the morning to an empty bed, he was not surprised, but he was still disappointed. He wished he could have woken up one last time to your pretty and relaxed face, he wished he could have held you through the night one last time. Even if it happened only a few times, when you were too tired to go back to your dorms, it still felt incredibly right to open his eyes and see you all cuddled up against him. Getting up and leaving the room he had so many memories in revealed to be a lot more difficult than he thought it would have been. He took his time getting dressed and making sure he didn’t forget anything before slowly closing the door behind him. Taking a quick look at his reflection in the elevator’s mirror like you did only a few hours ago was enough to notice how wretched he was. His hair were a mess, his eye bags were even worse than a few days before despite him having overslept, and his clothes were wrinkled. But the way it was written all over his face was even more telling. 

The ride back to his apartment was like a walk of shame - because he had promised to his girlfriend that he would be back before 2am, because he made you suffer again, because he felt like shit, like there was no escape from this situation he put himself in. Yunho only had time to hope that Hana was still asleep but as soon as he opened the door, she jumped from her spot on the couch where she had apparently spent a lot of time worrying, seeing how panicked she seemed. 

“- Where were you !? You told me you would be back last night and it’s fucking 10am, Yunho !”

Her anger was totally justified, but the only thing he wanted to do right now was to just be swallowed by the floor, or to curl up in his bed and not get up for the next three years. 

“- I’m sorry, baby, I…

- You what !? It’s the fourth time you’re pulling something like that on me this month, what is going on !?”

Yunho was ready to serve her another well prepared lie, the ones he kept on telling her since he started ditching her to be with you. But he just couldn’t bring himself to say that they all got back to one of his coworkers apartment to keep drinking after the bar closed, and that his phone died so he couldn’t warn her about it, and that he was too drunk and out of his mind to think about borrowing one of his colleagues’. He couldn’t lie to her right now, he couldn’t anymore. And as if it was now a habit every time you sneaked into his mind, he felt tears prickling his eyes, dropping his head low like the coward he was because he couldn’t bear to see her hurt, to see her crying because of him too. And as it had become quite usual for him through the course of these last weeks, apologies slipped past his lips. 

“- I’m sorry Hana, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry… 

- Yunho… Tell me what happened, talk to me. You’ve been so distant and quiet lately, it’s not like you to be so… So absent.”

He wanted to answer, to finally tell her the truth, to tell her everything, but he couldn’t get any word to leave his mouth, only quiet sobs resonating in the hallway as he tried to stop the tears from running down his cheeks. Slowly, Hana got closer to him, taking his hands in hers and guiding him to the couch where he sat down without any resistance and let her pull him into a hug. She could hear his voice shaking and breaking down everytime he let out another apology. It took a long moment for Yunho to finally be able to calm down and find his words back. And when he did, it didn’t make things easier, it didn’t make telling her easier. 

“- I… I met someone.”

The sad but knowing smile spreading on her lips told him everything he needed to know. Because, of course, she was not dumb. Of course, she had understood a long time ago what was going on. Of course, Yunho was the only asshole, the only one to blame for everything he put her, and you, through. 

“- I expected you to say that. 

- I’m so fucking sorry, Hana. I never meant for that to happen, I hadn’t even thought about doing that before I met her. And once it started I couldn’t stop, and when I wanted to tell you everything, it was already too late to not hurt you, and I just got carried away. I’m sorry, I really didn-

- Stop ! Just… Stop.”

So Yunho did, anxiously watching her as she ran a hand through her hair, probably trying to come up with an easy way to tell him that he was a bastard. Which he was, to be honest. 

“- I’m not an idiot. I know that you stopped loving me years ago, Yunho. And I’m not blind either, I saw how you got that sparkle in your eyes back one day, and I knew very well it was not because of me. And before you say anything about being sorry, I know it. I know you are, and I know that you wouldn’t have wanted to hurt me even if I’m just a friend in your eyes. 

- Hana…

- Don’t look at me like that, it’s not a big deal. We’ve been a couple since highschool, it was impossible for us to keep on loving each other until the end of times. I stopped feeling any romantic feelings a while ago, too. Our families are simply what they are, and we can’t change them. But I’m kind of glad you gave us a valid excuse to break up.”

Yunho couldn’t help the giggles that escaped him. She always had that dark humour that he loved so much, and that nobody got except for him and her. 

“- You did not just forgive me for cheating on you because you wanna break up, right ?

- Oh, I certainly did !”

Both of them laughed it off, and it was like a weight was lifted off of his chest, like he could finally breathe a little better. Not as well as when he was with you, but it was a little less bad, now. 

“- You’re sure you wanna do this ? You know how much trouble we’re gonna get into if we break up, right ?

- I know, and trust me when I tell you that I’ve thought about it a lot before. And I’m ready, I don’t want them to dictate my life anymore. I think you can understand that better than everyone else.

- Yeah.”

Silence fell back onto the room, and Yunho never felt more at home in his own apartment than after having agreed to break up with his years-long relationship. But he knew it was better like that, knew that they both needed to finally close this chapter of their life and take a new beginning. 

“- We’re still friends, though, right ? I still need to hear you spill all the tea about your weird coworkers.”

Hana laughed loudly, and the smile spreading on her lips had never been this wide since so much time that he almost forgot what she looked like when she was happy. 

“- Of course ! And I wanna know all the updates about that girl, because she must be brave to want to engage in a relationship with you.”

It was his turn to smile and let happiness fill him again. Why he waited so much time to finally be honest with her when it was clear that they had no feelings for each other anymore would certainly forever be an enigma. But at least, they were both free. At least, Hana could find someone that will truly love her, that will love her like she deserved to be loved. And Yunho didn’t know if that would be enough to convince you that he was serious about you, that he truly loved you, but he had to try. Because you were worth every tear he shed, and all the pain in the world. He would go through these weeks of anguish again and again if it meant you would take him back. 

But Yunho had always been a gentleman - and yeah, it was ironic to describe himself like that after everything he had done - and he let you have as much time as you needed, as much space as you asked for. And even when the urge of letting you know about everything that happened was strong, he resisted the temptation to call you, or to send you a text he knew you would not read because you stopped doing that since that night. 

Everytime his gaze crossed yours in class, it was as if the first time he kissed you in that empty classroom replayed in his mind, it was as if he could still see himself wearing his leather jacket more often only because it still smelled like you and your perfume, it was as if he could still hear you say you loved him for the first time. Everytime his gaze crossed yours in class, he wished you wouldn’t shy away, he wished you wouldn’t look so hurt, he wished he could go back in time and not do all the mistakes he did, he wished he could do everything right and make you happy, and love you right. 

Still, he let you run away after every class so you wouldn’t risk staying in his presence too much. Still, he let you slip through his hands a little more every time you answered his questions about books he had given to you without that energy and passion you had when it was only the two of you in that hotel room, when everything was still perfect. But it also felt like if he didn’t do something right now, you were gonna leave and never come back in his life. He had to do something, he had to stop being a loser, he had to show you that you were never the second choice. 

You were surprised to find another bouquet of lilies on your doorstep before going to class on a random Wednesday. It had been weeks since you last talked to him outside of classes, and it had been more than two months since you last looked at his texts. You weren’t strong enough to block his number again, but you tried not to open the messages anymore. This time there was something written on a little note ; him asking you to meet him by the hill he showed you the night it all went down if you were willing to listen to him, and that if you didn’t come, he would understand that you didn’t want to see him again and that he would leave you alone, no questions asked. 

You thought that you would hesitate more, but in your heart, you had already made the decision to go as soon as you saw the bouquet of your favourite flowers he managed to remember even months after you told him. When you parked your car at the spot he had showed you, his was already there. Yunho was waiting for you, contemplating the cityscape, leaning against the hood of his car, hands in the pockets of his black pants, his white tee moving along with the wind. He looked good in anything, but these simple outfits were always making him look so cosy that you wanted nothing more than snuggling in his arms. 

The warmer wind of the end of spring hit your face as soon as you put your feet outside, the breeze making your hair and the skirt of your flowy dress fly around like you were in some type of dramatic movie. Expect that in those, it always ended well, and that you knew for a fact that your happy end was impossible. But Yunho turned to look at you almost in slow motion, and this time, you couldn’t avoid his intense stare, and this time, you wanted to dive back into whatever the two of you had. 

“- You came.”

His voice was steady, but you could still hear the relief seeping through his words.

“- You asked.”

It was as simple as that, as simple as breathing and walking, as simple as reading and writing. He asked, he called, and you were there in a heartbeat because you would sell your soul for him. 

“- We broke up. We agreed that we didn’t love each other anymore for a long time, and that it was the best decision for both of us.”

You wanted to be sarcastic, wanted to tell him something along the lines of “you want a medal or something”, but it was only because you didn’t know how to deal with that information. Because you didn’t know if it meant anything to him, if it meant anything to you. Before you could think about a kinder response, Yunho continued. 

“- I told you I was willing to do everything if it meant I could be with you, and I was serious. This is the first step, and I’m gonna go all the way even if you’re not willing to give me a second chance because you made me realise how wrong I was all this time.

- But you have a family, friends and a job. You won’t give all that up for me, I don’t want you to. 

- Angel, I’m taking all these risks because it’s for you, because I want you to see that I’m ready to do anything it takes to be with you, and that I’ll keep proving that you didn’t make a mistake by choosing me if you’re letting me come back into your life. My family gave up on me a long while ago, it’s only time for them to understand everything they put me through. And I believe that my friends will be wise enough to choose to support me, because you’re my happiness, and that’s what they should wish for me. 

- Yes, but you’ll still be my teacher. 

- I’ve been your teacher until then and it didn’t cause any problems, did it ? And even if I got in trouble, I know we would figure something out. You mean everything to me Y/N, and I will spend the rest of my life making myself worthy of you if you let me because I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else before.”

Your mind wanted you to say no, but your heart was begging for you to say yes, to give in, to let yourself be happy. And for once, you decided to stop being reasonable. For once, you decided to let things go, to let him guide you through it, to let yourself live.

“- You already are. You’ve always been worthy of me, Yu. I-I love you too, I love you so much.”

This time, when tears started to run down your cheeks, Yunho didn’t hesitate one second before pulling you into his arms, running his fingers against your back to soothe you. The way you immediately circled his waist to have him closer to you made his heartbeat pick up, and you chuckled lightly against his chest when you noticed it. And you stayed like that for who knows how long. The only thing you were aware of was that you’ve never felt as good as when you were in his arms. And maybe it was wrong, maybe it was a mistake. But it felt just right, it clicked perfectly, like the last pieces of a puzzle you had forgotten on your desk for years and that you finally came back to complete only now. When you raised your head to look him in the eyes, Yunho smiled, and you couldn’t help doing the same, especially when he kissed your forehead, and then your nose, and then your lips. 

“- In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

You wanted to slap him for being so cheesy, but the way your heart missed a couple of beats at the intensity with which he was looking into your eyes rendered you unable to talk, unable to think about some quote to say back to him. 

“- If you keep on confessing to me like that, I might give in, you know…

- Don’t worry about that, angel, I have a ton of citations you’re gonna love.”

His boyish grin made you smile wider, and you couldn’t help the urge to kiss him again, because now you had the right to do so. Being the teacher’s pet had its downsides, but in terms of love confessions, you were certain that Yunho would never run out of ideas. And you were okay with that, because as long as he was with you and that you were with him, there was no way something would go wrong. You smiled at him, and he smiled at you, and as the sun set behind you like in the romance movies you despised, you thought that maybe, happy endings were not so bad in the end, especially when you were the one getting kissed passionately at the end of the film.

-> i don't allow any copies, translations or reposts of my work.

-> moon dividers by @samspenandsword

ateez masterlist (fill in this to be added) :

@sharonxdevi @hann1bee @lil-kpopstan @foxinnie8 @riraives

Concrete:

An Reader x San Angst Drabble:

Warning: Minor language, unprotected sex. MDNI

The drive over to San’s house felt like the longest journey of my life. My grip on the steering wheel was tight, knuckles white, as if it could somehow anchor me to my decision. Tears dripped steadily from my eyes, blurring my vision, but I didn’t care. I was resolute, my mind set on ending this toxic cycle. San wasn’t the man I fell in love with anymore—his once loving and affectionate demeanor now replaced by coldness, harshness, and dismissal.

A flashback from last week replayed in my mind, a scene that solidified my decision:

“Why can’t you tell me what’s going on, San? We’re supposed to be there for each other. You keep shutting me out!” I had pleaded, my voice breaking.

“Just shut the hell up and fucking leave already. Your constant nagging isn’t helping shit but making me more stressed. I’ve got enough shit on my plate—the last thing I need is some nagging bitch up my ass all the time!” he had snapped back, throwing a vase against the wall, shattering it on impact. His words cutting deep.

The memory stung, and I bit my lip to keep from breaking down completely. I didn’t believe in text breakups; I owed it to myself and to him to say this face-to-face. Pulling into the gated driveway. I looked up through the glass window. He was pacing around, biting his nail, lost in thought. For a moment, something inside me softened. I shook my head, reminding myself why I was here.

I exited the car, anxiously making my way to the front door. Turning the doorknob my heart pounded.

Was this right?

Did I have the courage to face him?

How will he take it?

My the click of my heels on the marble floor echoing through the mansion's entrance. My fingers traced the smooth banister of the staircase as my heart pounded in my chest. San looked up as I approached, his eyes swollen and red.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice a mere whisper.

“San,” I replied, my own voice trembling. “We need to talk.”

He nodded, swallowing hard. “You’re done with me.”

“That’s correct. I didn’t think you deserved a text,” I said, my tone firm despite the tears threatening to spill over.

His voice was shaky, his eyes filled with unshed tears. “What can I do to fix this?”

I bit my lip, looking away to compose myself. “San, you can’t fix it. I’ve made up my mind. I need something concrete, something real. Lately, you’ve been avoiding me, acting different. You’re not the same man I fell in love with. You’ve become so cold to me. I can’t do this anymore.”

He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead, his tears finally broke free, streaming down his face. He reached out, trying to touch my hand, but I pulled away.

“I’ll always love you, but you can’t hurt me like this anymore. I can’t allow it,” I said, my voice breaking.

I turned to leave, but San got up and wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tight. “Y/N, baby, please. I’m so sorry. Please, I can’t be without you,” he begged, his voice raw with desperation.

Tears fell from my eyes as I looked up at him. “I-I’m sorry,” I choked out, struggling to unlock his hands from my waist. His grip only tightened.

“Please, Y/N. I’ll change, I promise. Just don’t leave me,” he cried, his voice cracking with anguish.

I closed my eyes, the pain in his voice cutting through me. “San, you’ve had so many chances. I can’t keep breaking my own heart for you.”

He loosened his grip slightly, enough for me to turn around and face him. “I love you, San. But I need to love myself more right now. I need to heal.”

He nodded slowly, tears still flowing. “I understand,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough. How many times have you said sorry and keep DOING. THE. SAME. SHIT!” I finally snapped.

He sat in silence.

I continued, “it’s like talking to a brick wall sometimes. Fucking concrete. Doesn’t penetrate. Getting through to you feels like a burden and I’m so goddamn tired of it!”

“Baby-“

“I don’t need this anymore San. I can’t keep hurting myself.”

I leaned over, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Goodbye, San,” I whispered, turning away for the last time.

As I walked out of the mansion, the weight of my decision settled over me. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but I knew it was the right thing. Tears pouring nonstop.

Its over.

Damn it hurts.

As I walked toward my car, each step felt heavier than the last. The weight of my decision pressed down on me, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I fumbled for my keys, tears blurring my vision. Just as I was about to unlock the car, I felt a familiar grip on my arm, pulling me back.

“Y/N, wait,” San’s voice was thick with emotion.

Before I could react, his lips crashed onto mine, desperate and fervent. “I’m sorry,” he murmured against my lips. “I can’t let the woman I love leave me like this.”

I wanted to push him away, to remind myself of all the pain he had caused. But deep down, I couldn’t bear to see him hurt. His kiss was filled with a passion that had been missing for so long, and it stirred something inside me.

San’s lips moved to my neck, trailing kisses that sent shivers down my spine. He slid his hand down the side of my trench coat, exposing my shoulder. “S-San, please stop,” I whispered, but my voice lacked conviction.

“I hurt you, I betrayed your trust. You have every right to leave. But I can’t allow that.”

He couldn’t stop. It was as if he needed to prove his love, to make me stay. He lifted me onto the hood of my car, his kisses growing more tender and gentle, reminiscent of the San I had fallen in love with.

His hands held my hips, pulling me closer. Our kisses deepened, his tongue slipping into my mouth, exploring, pleading. “Baby, please, one more chance,” he begged between kisses.

I was silent, my mind a whirlwind of confusion and desire. “Please,” he repeated, his voice breaking.

One kiss.

“Baby, please,” he whispered again, his lips brushing mine.

A second kiss.

“I promise I’ll make it right,” he vowed, his eyes locked onto mine, filled with a raw sincerity I hadn’t seen in so long.

Another kiss.

My heart pounded in my chest, torn between the love I still felt and the pain he had caused. “One last chance, San,” I gasped for breath, my resolve wavering.

San’s eyes lit up with hope as he lifted me into his arms, carrying me back into the house. Our lips never parted, each kiss a mix of desperation and longing.

As we crossed the threshold, he kicked the door shut behind us. “I swear, Y/N, I’ll make it right. I’ll be the man you fell in love with again,” he promised, his voice filled with determination.

He carried me up the stairs to his bedroom, laying me gently on the bed. His hands were everywhere, rediscovering each curve and contour of my body, as if trying to memorize me all over again.

“San, this doesn’t change everything,” I whispered, my voice shaky.

“I know,” he replied, his eyes never leaving mine. “But I need you to know how much you mean to me. How much I love you.”

His words, combined with his touch, broke down my defenses.

Afterward, we lay tangled in each other’s arms, our breaths mingling. “I’ll show you, Y/N. I’ll prove that I can be the man you deserve,” San whispered, his fingers tracing patterns on my skin.

I looked into his eyes, seeing the hope and determination there. “I hope so, San. Because this really is your last chance.”

He nodded, pulling me closer. “I won’t waste it,” he promised, his voice filled with conviction.

His hand slowly slid down my body. Pulling away the fabric of the trench coat exposing the stockings I had on.

San's eyes darkened with desire, quickly he got up, immediately tearing off the coat, letting it fall to the floor. The sight of me in nothing but black lace lingerie made his breath hitch. Looking down I could see a tent starting to form in his sweatpants.

Yanking my legs apart, he climbs in between.

His hands slid up my thigh-high stocking-covered legs, sending shivers through my entire body. He began to kiss my stomach, each soft press of his lips causing my back to arch off the bed.

His hands roamed over my body, his touch both gentle and possessive. Positioned cozily between my thighs, he slowly pulled off my panties, the anticipation making my breath quicken. His lips found the spot I desperately needed him to touch, and he began suckling on my sensitive bud. A cry of pleasure escaped my lips as his tongue curled around it, the sensation overwhelming.

I gripped the silk bedsheets, my heels digging into the mattress. "Only I can make you feel this way," he groaned into the heat between my legs, his voice filled with a mix of possessiveness and love. His pupils were blown wide as he looked up at me. "Say it," he commanded softly.

I bit my lip, refusing to give in so easily. His response was immediate—he slid two fingers inside me, curving them upwards as he continued his assault on my clit. My cries grew louder, my body trembling with the intensity of his touch. "Say it," he urged again, his voice more insistent.

My only response was a moan, my mind too clouded with pleasure to form coherent words. His fingers worked faster, each movement bringing me closer to the edge. His tongue moved in tandem, driving me wild. I could feel my climax approaching quickly, the sensation building to an almost unbearable peak.

"SAY. IT!" he demanded, his voice a mix of desperation and command.

"I—I'm yours! Only you can make me feel this way!" I finally cried out, unable to hold back any longer.

San's movements sped up, his fingers and tongue working in perfect harmony. "F-fuck! San, I'm cumming!" I screamed, the climax hitting me with a force that left me breathless.

He pulled away just as my body began to convulse with pleasure, lifting me up and positioning himself at my entrance. He pushed inside me slowly, filling me completely.

“FUCK!” He groans out, his teeth sinking into my shoulder. Our breaths mingled as he carried me over to the banister of the staircase. I gripped the banister tightly, wrapping my legs around his waist as he began to move.

Each thrust of his dick was filled with love and desperation, a silent promise that he would never let me go. "Y/N," he whispered, his lips brushing against my ear. "I love you. I’ll make this right, I swear."

His words, combined with the rhythm of his movements, sent waves of pleasure through me. I held onto him, our bodies moving in perfect sync. “B-baby. S-so big.” I cried out.

The intimacy of the moment was overwhelming, each touch and kiss a testament to the love we still shared.

“Baby all for you. I fucking love you.” He gasp in my ear.

"San," I moaned, my voice barely a whisper. "I love you too."

His grip on me tightened, his thrusts becoming more urgent. "I’ll never let you go," he vowed, his voice filled with emotion.

His thrust became even more sloppy, harder, faster.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore, “GOD! CHOI SAN! I’M CUMMING!” I threw one arm around his neck, pulling his lips onto mine.

His dick pushing even deeper inside. Tongues dancing with each other, lips attached, devouring each other’s moans.

I could feel his dick twitching and convulsing. He’s was so close. One last thrust was all it took.

“Y/N!” He cried out. His nails digging into my flesh. The warm thick ropes of his cum filling me.

As we reached our climax together, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of us. In that moment, all the pain and anger melted away, replaced by a love that was stronger than ever.

Still inside he carries me to the bed. Lying together, our bodies entangled.

We stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other’s arms, our breaths slowly returning to normal. San’s eyes met mine, filled with a mix of hope and determination. "I’ll prove it to you, Y/N. I’ll be the man you deserve."

I nodded, my heart filled with a cautious optimism. "I believe you, San. Please don’t let me down."

He kissed me softly, a promise in his touch. "I won’t," he said, his voice steady and sure.

As we lay there, with the future still uncertain, I couldn’t help but feel that maybe, just maybe, we could find our way back to each other.

𝔇𝔒𝔚𝔑𝔗𝔒𝔚𝔑 𝔈𝔓ℑ𝔖𝔒𝔇𝔈 ℑ:

WARNING ⚠️ THE STORY CONTAINS:

Racism

Vulgar language

Racial slurs

Murder

Selling and Usage of illegal drugs and weapons

Abuse

Stalking

MDNI (will be blocked)

CHARACTER BIO:

Kim Ho-Yeon AKA Isis

Age: 17

Race: Korean/African American

Nationality: American

Kim Kai

Age: 21

Race: Korean/African American

Nationality: American

Troy Pierre Johnson AKA T-Ball

Age: 31

Race: Haitian

Nationality: American

Marcus Deville

Age: 38

Race: Haitian

Nationality: American

Ezell Capris AKA Crusher

Age: 28

Race: African American

Nationality: American

Song Mingi

Age: 20

Race: Asian

Nationality: Korean

I never wanted this.

Boots pounding against the cracked pavement, sweat stinging my eyes, breath ragged in my throat. The neon lights of Bourbon Street faded behind me, replaced by the suffocating darkness of New Orleans' forgotten alleys. I clutched the money and drugs tightly in my trembling hands, my knuckles white, the illicit gains of another midnight deal gone wrong. Sirens screamed in the distance, getting closer, louder. My heart raced, my blood pounded, my mind raced with fractured thoughts.

How did I get here? How did my world spiral into this pit of despair?

"Ayo Isis, you got a deal tonight," Troy had told me earlier outside the school, sliding a bundle of cash and a package of dope across the hood of the car. His eyes held that predatory glint, a look of hunger and power masked by false camaraderie. "Midnight, same spot. Don't be late."

I wasn't late. I was never late. Not to the deals that ensured some semblance of survival. The cracked facade of life I barely clung to depended on these dangerous exchanges. I'd met Marcus just under the flickering streetlight, the old wrought-iron fence of St. Louis Cemetery No. 1 looming behind us like grim sentinels.

"You got the stuff?" Marcus had asked, voice trembling despite the bravado etched into his thin, haggard face.

Something was off. He was never nervous about a deal. Was he tweakin or feenin? Shit Ion know but imma need this shit to be quick.

"Right here," I replied, still looking at him skeptical, producing the crumpled bag from my jacket pocket. "You got the cash?"

He nodded, eyes darting around nervously. I noticed how his hands shook as he tried to count the money. That’s when the sirens split the night, the red and blue lights flooding the alley in an unholy glare.

“Mother fucka!” I murmured. My hand next to my Glock.

"Freeze! NOPD!" The shout echoed off the bricks, a command more final than any sentence.

Pandemonium.

Marcus had panicked, dropping the cash, his feet slipping on the damp, algae-coated alley stones. The cops were on him in a heartbeat.

"Don't move!" But Marcus moved. He reached inside his jacket—maybe reaching for another baggie, a desperate bluff, who knows? The shot rang out, louder than the blare of sirens. A burst of light, and he crumpled to the ground, blood pooling beneath him like a spreading inkblot. The warmth of his blood hitting my face.

For a moment, my world stood still. Marcus—another body fallen to the streets, another casualty of survival painted in blood. I ran. Don't look back, Isis.

Just run.

“FREEZE!”

The alleyways twisted and turned, a maze of filth and decay. The sirens clung to me like malevolent spirits. I could hear the radios crackle, disembodied voices barking commands and coordinates. The cemetery loomed ahead, its dilapidated gates inviting me into its embrace. Through the iron bars and into its shadowed sanctuary I flew, slipping into an old, musty mausoleum. The door groaned as I forced it shut, and I crouched in the dark, fighting to silence my gasps.

Minutes passed. Maybe hours. The sirens faded, and the night swallowed the sounds. Even the cops seemed to respect the cemetery’s morbid peace. Wasn’t tryna risk no evil spirits I guess.

I waited in that cold, narrow space, my senses tuned to every rustle, every whisper of the dead. When at last the silence confirmed my solitude, I crawled back out into the moonlit graveyard. Exhaustion overwhelmed me. I dropped to the ground, feeling the dirt and stones beneath my hands. Tears, bitter and hot, streamed down my face as I hugged my knees to my chest.

"I don't want this," I whispered, voice cracking. The words fell into the night like prayers to a god who had turned away long ago. "I don't want any of this."

But what did I want? Escape? Redemption? My mother always said I was the brightest and will be something.

Damn, I’m sure letting her down.

After a long walk back to my house in a rundown part of town, I finally reached the creaky, paint-chipped door that led to our sanctuary. Or, what passed for one these days. Pushing it open, I found my brothers and the gang sprawled on the ratty couch, the haze of kush smoke choking the cramped room.

Kai, my older brother, was the first to speak. “So, how was the deal?” His voice was calm, too calm for this line of questioning.

“A bust,” I replied, my voice hollow. “Marcus got capped.”

The air in the room seemed to thicken, silence swallowing the words. Their expressions hardened, eyes flickering with barely concealed fear and anger. Troy, NOLA’s biggest pusher, looked up, his jaw set.

“You still got the dope?” His question cut through the tension like a knife.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the baggie and crumpled money, tossing it onto the scarred coffee table. “Yeah, and Marcus’s money. Swiped it while he was getting blasted by the feds.”

A murmur ran through the room. Troy’s face twisted into a sneer. “Damn, Marcus. Shit!” I shouted, slamming my fist against the wooden doorframe. The pain was a minor spark in the inferno raging inside me.

“Fool, Marcus was a basehead and a snitch. Nobody knew about that deal but us. I bet his ass snitched,” Troy said, his eyes narrowing. “Nigga had it coming.”

My anger flared. “Marcus wouldn’t sell us out.”

Troy’s eyes bored into mine, unrelenting. “Then who did, Isis?”

I had no answer. I paced the room, frustration boiling over. “As long as we got the dope, we’re good. So chill bitch.” He took a puff of his blunt. “Why worry about Marcus’s dead ass? Another worthless nigga dead.”

But the weight of my earlier words, "I don't wanna do this shit anymore," hung in the air. Frustration coursed through me like a poison. “I’m tired of this, Troy. Every day I’m out here risking my life, and for what? We’re still in the same bullshit! This isn’t getting us anywhere!”

Troy stood up, slamming his fist into the wall beside my head. “Bitch you ain’t getting out until when I say you can. I took you and your brothers in after ya moms died. I say what it’s gonna be, aight?”

I shoved him back, fury overriding fear. “And one is dead! So clearly, the dope game ain’t it, Troy, nigga the rest of us still in the trenches while you out living the good life!”

I stormed out, slamming the door behind me, the sound echoing in the tight alleyways. Tears blurred my vision as I wandered the darkened streets, seeking solace in the shadows. My phone buzzed in my pocket, pulling me back to the here and now. It was a text from Kai: “Yo man you gotta chill. Troy only has your best interest.”

I snapped the phone shut, anger and helplessness intertwining. Deep in my heart, I knew he was wrong. Troy’s “interest” was a leash around our necks, tightening with each passing day.

“Nigga, Troy ain’t even got the best interest for his damn self. Ion know why you still believe his bullshit. We ain’t getting rich. We ain’t leaving the hood.”

Closing my phone, I just took a deep breath.

I continued to walk, the oppressive night swallowing me.

Gangbangers loitered on corners, bottles and burners in hand.

Homeless baseheads strung out on fent and rock, begging for money to get more dope.

Hoes on the corner selling pussy just to survive these trenches.

We all broken statues in the bleak cityscape.

“I gotta get out of this,” I whispered to myself, voicing the secret I had harbored for months. Memories of my mother, Kim Hanuel, flooded back.

Mom was a Korean immigrant, a resilient woman who fought tooth and nail to give us a chance. She raised three children on her own amidst the unforgiving ghettos of New Orleans, working endless hours cleaning offices and houses, always with a gentle but determined smile. Dad was a ghost, a deadbeat who ran with gangs, chasing dreams of a quick and dirty come-up only to vanish without a trace.

That deadbeat ass nigga. Knocking up my moms, a naive woman who wanted love in all the wrong places.

I imagined her despair if she could see us now—Kai deep in the game, Minho a casualty in a senseless drive-by, and me; a straight-A student and peak athlete and here I am, slangin and bangin.

Fucked up turn of events.

I look around and see the surroundings more. Shaking my head.

The ghetto.

Every tired step, every weary breath, reminded me of where I was born and raised, surrounded by shadows and despair. This life was a landscape of crumbling buildings, flickering streetlights, and alleyways littered with forgotten souls.

I walked forward, hyper-aware of my surroundings yet lost in my thoughts. Top of my class in high school, an exceptional athlete with dreams once so bright, now tarnished by nights like this, running from the law, clinging to survival. At seventeen, I found myself risking everything, bound to a gang I never chose but was forced into. My mother hadn’t died for this; her sacrifices were not meant to be repaid in blood and betrayal.

Passing through the maze of tombstones, I found myself at the Lafayette Cemetery, an abandoned part where the forgotten were laid to rest. Onto the cold stone of a nameless tomb, I lowered myself, fatigue settling deep in my bones.

“Sorry, I hope you don’t mind me sitting here,” I whispered to the silent grave. “I promise I’ll be respectful.”

I let my head fall into my hands, the weight of everything crashing down on me. The memories played in my mind like a cursed film reel. Twelve years old, timid but desperate, selling my first dime bag to a shady man who smirked at my fear. By fourteen, hardened by necessity, I was pulling triggers in drive-bys I had no choice but to participate in. Killing 2 rival gang members in the process.

Tears streamed down my face, hot and salty, falling into the earth below me. I sobbed, an animalistic release of years of pain and hopelessness.

Finally, when my tears dried up, leaving only a dull ache in their wake, I stood and wandered deeper into the cemetery. As I moved quietly through the darkness, voices reached my ears, sharp and urgent. I ducked behind a statue, straining to hear. They were speaking Korean. My heart skipped a beat, the familiar cadence of my mother’s tongue pulling me back to her memory.

“Sir, we know Troy Johnson is in this city,” one of the men said.

My eyes widened.

“Good, we should ask some locals. He does owe us a lot of money,” another voice replied.

I held my breath, listening intently.

“Find him and finish him off. He has scammed us long enough.”

The blood drained from my face. These men were serious and they were coming for Troy. Without another thought, I broke into a run, sprinting back through the cemetery, out into the streets, and towards home. Panic fueled my steps, the dark cityscape blurring around me as I flew past graffiti-stained walls, darting through alleys and across deserted roadways.

I burst through the door of our house, out of breath, eyes wild. The room fell silent as everyone looked up.

“Where’s Troy?” I demanded, my voice tinged with both fear and resolve.

Kai, leaning against the wall with a cigarette, flicked ashes into a dirty tray. “What’s going on, Ho-Yeon?” he asked, using my birth name, a sign he knew this was serious.

“I need to know where he is, Kai. Now!” My eyes locked onto his, burning with urgency.

“He went to see Danny about an hour ago,” Kai said, concern creasing his brow. “Da fuck goin on?”

“Korean m’fuckas are after him. Saying Troy scammed them.”

The color from Kai’s face flushed. “Koreans? Where you see them?”

“Lafayette.”

“Did they see you?”

I shook my head.

“You sure they Korean?”

“I’m positive. They were speaking Korean—Mom’s dialect, I heard and understood everything.” I could see the fear creeping into his stoic mask. “We need to find him. Now.”

Kai bit his nail, “Kai, who are they?” I asked in panic trying to call Troy.

*The number you reached is unavailable, please call again later.*

Kai remained silent.

I looked at him, confused. “Kai! WHO ARE THEY?!”

“I don’t know! We need to find his dumbass!”

Kai’s face hardened, and he started dialing Troy’s number. Voicemail. Again and again. I did the same, praying to hear his voice. Nothing.

“Call Danny,” Kai ordered. But even Danny’s phone kept going to voicemail.

Kai turned to the others in the room. “Start calling everyone. Now.”

The first to answer was Crusher, an OG who commanded respect just by entering the room. “‘Sup, why y’all m’fuckas blowin’ up my phone?”

“Some Korean folk looking to take out Troy,” Kai said, voice tight with urgency.

“Maaaan, what!? Hell nah cuh, Where he at?” Crusher’s deep husky voice lost its usual coolness, replaced by a sharp edge.

“He’s with Danny, but Danny ain’t answering either!” I cut in, panic surging.

Crusher sounded nervous, something I’d never heard before. “Shit, They prolly at She She’s. We on it.”

Kai nodded, then turned to me. “Crush, get errbody. Meet us at She She’s,” he said.

I raced upstairs, grabbing my uzis and strapping them to my waist. Tearing apart my closet I pulled out a shotgun. I was preparing for war because, at this rate, that’s exactly what it was.

A war I didn’t want to be in, but fuck it, if Troy dies, we all die.

Downstairs, I grabbed my helmet and the keys to my Kawasaki Ninja—a gift from Kai when I made the track team. “Kai, take them and head to the club. I’m right behind.”

He nodded, grim but resolute. The men in the house were a small army, ready for anything. And they had to be.

The bike roared to life, vibrating beneath me as I tore through the streets, the gritty city blurring around me. My heart pounded as I navigated the familiar paths, dodging cars and pedestrians, racing toward She She’s.

The strip club was located on the outskirts of the city limits.

A desolate area with a massive booty club on a dirt and gravel road.

I arrived to see Troy’s G-Wagon parked outside. Crusher was right, he was here. Music thumped from inside the club, a pounding rhythm that matched my racing heart. I couldn’t get in—underage—but I patrolled the perimeter, scanning for any sign of danger.

Moments later, twenty cars rolled up, Crusher and the rest of the crew spilling out like an unstoppable force. I sprinted to Crusher, my boots crunching on the gravel.

“So who we lookin’ for?” he asked, his imposing figure dwarfing mine.

“I couldn’t make out faces, but they’re dressed in suits and they’re Korean.”

“Mmm. Aight, good enough. AYO, listen up!” Crusher's voice boomed. “We lookin’ for some chink mu’fuckas. Y’all know what to do. They roll up, blast them fools!”

I nodded and ran around back to make sure the Koreans wouldn’t infiltrate the back.

Making my way around to the back of the club, I crouched behind a rusted dumpster, eyes scanning the alley for any sign of the Koreans. The distant mumble of my gang’s voices drifted through the deep night, almost comforting. I allowed myself a moment to catch my breath.

Then it all happened so fast.

The sound of cars zooming into the pavement, the sound of doors slamming and the Korean language.

My heart dropped.

The air around me exploded with a symphony of chaos—shouts, screams, and the deafening barrage of gunfire. It echoed through the narrow alley like a war zone. My heart leaped to my throat as I bolted toward the front, instincts taking over.

My hand on one of the uzis, ready to battle. Rounding the corner, I collided with Kai. His eyes widened in horror as he reached out to steady me, thrusting a set of keys and a crumpled sheet of paper into my hand.

“Go to this address, NOW!” he shouted over the cacophony.

“Kai, what is this?!” I yelled back, adrenaline spiking through me.

His face was a mask of urgency, lines etched deep from worry. “I’ll explain it all later, just go! I ain’t losing another sibling.” He glanced over his shoulder where Benzes, BMWs, and Hummers swarmed the street, Korean men in suits exchanging gunfire with our gang. I peeked, my breath catching as I took in the full scope of the chaos—a war zone right in the desolate bayou.

“Kai... come back in one piece,” I said, voice breaking, wrapping him in a quick hug.

“I will. Now go!” he urged, pushing me away and into motion.

My legs propelled me back through the alley, towards the now dirt-encrusted bike parked behind the club. The engine roared to life, a welcome sound amidst the madness.

I sped off passing the battle before me, I saw men I grew to love as brothers lying lifeless on the ground. I see Kai and Crusher reloading guns and firing. Tears began to weld in my eyes. Before I could get away;

It was all in slow motion…

As I began to tear down the street, I caught sight of a tall, young blonde Korean man standing at the edge of the fray. His eyes locked onto mine, a cold, calculating gaze that followed me until I was out of sight. Who was he?

I raced through the city, the landscape blurring past me as thoughts buzzed in my head. What was this address? Why had Kai sent me here? The GPS guided me to Algiers Point, guiding me to a neighborhood that felt worlds away from the grimy streets of my reality. I pulled up to a large, well-kept house with neatly trimmed hedges and a spacious porch. This couldn’t be right.

Doubt gnawed at me, but I dismounted the bike, climbing the few steps to the front door. The keys fit perfectly, and the door swung open to reveal a beautifully furnished home. The inside was modern and tasteful, with dark wood floors and high ceilings. My footsteps echoed in the eerie silence, a stark contrast to the bedlam from which I had just fled.

Photos lined the mantelpiece over a fireplace. I stared, recognizing faces. My family. Our chaotic, battered, endearing family, immortalized in frames that seemed out of place here.

“Whose house is this?” I whispered aloud, a sense of unreality creeping over me.

As I wandered deeper into the house, my fingers grazed the photographs lining the walls. Mom, Minho, Kai and I; our whole family at a long-forgotten barbecue, candid shots of laughter and love. Tears pricked my eyes. This didn’t make sense.

Curiosity drove me up the staircase, each step. Photos of our family members lined the walls. Photos of my grandparents and baby photos of my siblings and I, neatly displayed along the white walls.

I went into a bedroom. The room was simple but nice. I sat on the bed. Looking over I seen a letter:

**"Ho-Yeon aka Isis,"** it began. The handwriting was unmistakably Kai’s, familiar and raw.

---

**"For a while now, prolly 6 years or so, I had this house. Mom left it for us. It was our 'we made it out the hood' gift. Right before she was killed, she gave me the key and told me to get you after school to surprise you. But fuck all the past and sad shit. If you're reading this, it means I ain’t make it out the gutter and I’m prolly shot up and chillin' in a freezer at the morgue downtown."**

Tears streamed down my cheeks, my breath catching in my throat.

**"You ain’t like the rest of these niggas or me. You got something to live for. You’re smart, beautiful and talented. I’m sorry I dragged you into this shit in the first place. Finish high school, go to college, find a nice career and stay the hell away from the hood. I know Troy got eyes all over this m’fucka but I ain’t letting Troy fuck yo life up anymore. I got plans for that nigga if I do make it. I can’t say too much but that nigga a traitor. Anyways I love you...

—Kai"**

I clutched the letter to my chest, the paper crumpling in my trembling hands. The words sank deep into my heart, carving out an emptiness I didn’t think I could feel anymore. I whispered, "Lord, if you’re real, please protect Kai."

Exhausted, my body gave in, and I slumped onto the bed, drifting into a restless sleep filled with shadows and uncertainty.

---

Morning came too soon, the alarm blaring me back to reality. Sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting soft golden hues across the room. I looked at my phone; there were texts from Troy, causing my heart to seize with dread. I opened them, **"Meet up at the spot after school."**

I rolled my eyes but couldn't ignore the gnawing anxiety that followed. Heart hammering, I dialed Kai's number. One ring, two rings—it felt like an eternity.

**"H-hello?"**

Relief washed over me. "You're okay," I breathed.

**“Yeah, I'm good. Aye, look, I’ll call you later, okay? Go to school. You got clothes in the closet."**

"Kai," I hesitated, my voice barely above a whisper, "thank you."

**"I love you, Ho-Yeon. I told you, I'll never let you down."** he said in Korean.

He hung up, leaving me clutching the phone to my chest. I needed that shower more than ever, washing away the grime of the previous night—water mingling with tears as the blonde man's face continued to haunt me. His cold dark eyes staring into my soul. My body shuttered.

---

Driving to school felt surreal. I parked, and as I walked in, the murmurs and whispers among the students surrounded me.

"Yo Isis! Did you hear about that wild ass shooting at She She’s last night? Looks like T-Ball’s gang got blasted by some mafia fools," James called out.

“Really? Damn,” I played it off, trying to mask the turmoil boiling inside me.

"T-Ball made it out,” his voice trailed off I could see in his eyes he was thinking of something else, “but..”

“But?” I repeated.

“Crusher ain’t make it.”

My world shattered. Crusher was the unconventional father figure I had. He made sure me and the brothers was good. Yeah he was a killer and a pusher but he loved us as if we were his own.

I bit my lip, trying not to cry.

James continued, “they said they finna hold a service for him next Saturday. You goin?”

I nodded. “Yeah, aye, imma get to class.”

Crusher. Damn… Troy gotta pay for this shit.

Sitting in class, my usual focus drowned in an ocean of fear and uncertainty, I stared blankly at the pages of my textbook. Words floated in front of my eyes, meaningless, as my mind spiraled back to last night. Thoughts of Crusher, Troy, and the violence that seemed to cling to me like a second skin kept replaying in my head. Who else had to die for Troy’s nonsense?

The bell rang, pulling me into the present, and I winced. Lunch was over and I had kept myself distant, avoiding the usual chatter and laughter of my classmates. It was time for Advanced English, a class I usually loved, but today I doubted I’d absorb a thing. My thoughts were scattered like leaves in the wind.

As I walked into the classroom, I chose a seat by the window. Maybe the view would distract me from the relentless storm brewing inside my mind. But what I saw outside only invited a new kind of anxiety.

Parked just outside the fence of the school was the same black Mercedes Benz from last night. My heart dropped into my stomach. The Korean mafia. I lay my head down on the desk, peeking through the window, hoping I was wrong, hoping I was imagining things.

The tall blonde man stepped out of the car, scanning the schoolyard with cold, calculating eyes. I recognized him immediately. He looked up at the building, and I prayed he wouldn’t see me. For what felt like an eternity, he stood there, his gaze sweeping across the windows. My breath hitched, my body shaking with fear like never before. Yet, by some miracle, he didn’t notice me. He got back into the car and drove off.

For the first time in a long time, I felt genuine, paralyzing fear. They’re after me.

With trembling hands, I pulled out my phone and texted Kai.

“Kai, those Korean mafia men are outside the school.”

Not even seconds later, he texted back, “WHAT?! Are you sure?”

“It was the tall blonde.”

“Fuck, I’ll let Troy know. Don’t leave the building until I say so.”

“👍” I texted back.

Two more hours of school. Then I had track practice. Just get through the day, I told myself. Just get through it.

After school, I headed to the track coach’s office, hoping to excuse myself from practice.

“Heeey Mr. Kennedy, I’m not feeling too well, I can’t do practice today. Is it cool if I miss out?” I tried to keep my voice steady, casual.

Mr. Kennedy looked up at me, his eyes skeptical. “Now why should I believe that? You look fine.”

“I–I got a real bad stomach ache. Please?” I pleaded, my fear bubbling just beneath the surface.

He wasn’t buying it. “You must think I’m boo-boo the fool? Go get ready for practice.”

My heart sank. I couldn’t afford to be on that track, out in the open. “Mr. Kennedy, please, it’s really bad. I promise I’ll make up for it next time.”

He leaned back in his chair, studying me. “You’ve never missed a practice without a good reason, Kim. What’s really going on?”

The room felt smaller, the walls closing in as I struggled to keep my composure. How could I explain without giving away too much? “I just… I don’t feel safe today.” It was the closest to the truth I could get without spreading panic.

Mr. Kennedy’s expression softened a fraction. “Safe? Kim, if something’s going on, you need to let someone know. The school can help.”

I shook my head, feeling the weight of secrets and lies pressing down on me. “I can handle it, Mr. Kennedy.”

He sat on the edge of his desk. “Ho-Yeon. Now don’t think I don’t know about what you do.” I looked up at him. “Now I understand because I was in the same position as you as a youngin’, poppin fools and chasing a bag. But I know you, you ain’t like Kai or Minho. You got a good head on ya shoulder na’ girl. So what’s going on.”

I was hesitant, but I told him everything.

“Korean mafia? Whooo T-Ball fucked up big time.” He said rubbing his temples. “Always some dumb nigga who get a lil bit of money and then fuck up and make the worst kind of enemies.”

“So can I please miss today?”

“Yeah. You stay in the office and I’ll take you home.”

I got up and hugged him. “Thank you.”

Two hours went by. My anxiety through the roof. My phone blowing up nonstop.

Kai FaceTimed, “hello?”

“Hey, Troy said to stay low and go stay at Lisa’s house.” He turned to see if anyone was listening on, he quickly switched to Korean, “look, I called Lisa and she said she’ll cover for you. Troy don’t know about the house, so go there and lay low. I’ll be there when I can.”

I nodded, he hung up.

The sun began to set. My leg bouncing nonstop.

Mr. Kennedy came in. “Alright let’s go.”

Mr. Kennedy took me to my new home. “Damn I see trappin got you out huh?” He said looking at the window of my house. “Please don’t mention this home to anyone,” I begged.

“Of course,” he replied with a reassuring nod.

I got out of the car and ran inside, locking all the doors and closing the windows. Fear and anxiety coursed through my body, making my hands shake as I double-checked each lock. It wasn’t until I’d walked through every room that I allowed myself to relax, if only a little.

Each day was the same, run home, hide and wait for Kai. Kai never came. He could only message me. In this big house, what could have been moms, Minho, Kai and me… is just me. Lonely. As much as I’m glad I’m not selling and away from Troy, I miss the homies. This shit is depressing.

Another long ass day of school and practice. It was dark by the time I got in. Nerves been calm since I didn’t see or feel threatened anymore.

Thirsty, going into the spacious kitchen. I pulled a glass from the cabinet.

As I reached for a glass, a cool, gloved hand suddenly clamped over my mouth, and another hand gripped my body tightly. Panic set in as I struggled against the larger intruder, instinctively stomping on their foot and jabbing my elbow into their ribs. I broke free and ran for my bedroom, needing to grab my Glock.

Screaming help was useless. This house easily swallowed my screams and pleas. As I made it to my bedroom, my body froze.

I stood in front of the doorway, heart pounding. There he was, the blonde man was sitting on my bed, smiling. Dressed in a fitted black suit with a white button down shirt and loafers. He was imposing, with a presence that sucked the air out of the room.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” he said, his voice deep and husky, his eyes predatory and cold.

My body trembled. “A-annyeonghaseyo,” I stammered back, my voice barely audible.

He smiled wider. “I’m Song Mingi. And you must be one of Troy Johnson’s lapdogs.”

My eyes widened in fear as the realization of who he was set in. “L-look man, I just sell drugs that he gives me and—”

“Yes, the drugs he gives you belongs to me. You see, Mr. Johnson steals from me and makes beautiful girls like you sell for his own gain.” His thick Korean accent made each word slice through the air.

“I-I truly had no idea,” I pleaded, my voice choking on the lump of terror sitting in my throat.

He patted the bed beside him. “Come sit, no need to be scared of me. I’m not here to hurt you, unless you give me a reason to.” There was a dangerous glint in his eye that made the blood in my veins run cold.

I shook, rooted to the spot. “M-mmh, imma stand right here.” His eyes darkened, and his voice dropped an octave. “I do not like to ask twice. Sit.”

I nodded frantically and sat beside him, every instinct screaming at me to run, but my legs felt like they were made of lead.

“Good,” he said, his tone softer but no less menacing. “Now, let’s talk business.” He reached into his coat pocket, pulling out a sleek silver knife, its blade reflecting the moonlight that filled the dark room.

“What—what do you want from me?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I need your help, Isis,or better yet, Kim Ho-Yeon” he said, twirling the knife between his fingers with practiced ease. “You have access to places and people I need information about, including Troy Johnson.”

“But why me?” I asked, tears welling in my eyes.

“Because you’re already in the game. And whether you like it or not, you’re valuable to me and I been watching you for a long time now,” he replied coolly. “Help me, and you might just walk away from this unscathed. And I’ll even make you an offer, you’ll be a rich woman.”

My heart pounded in my chest, the weight of his words pressing down on me. “What do you need me to do?”

He leaned in closer, his breath hot against my ear. His hand on my thigh, “I need you to find out where Troy is hiding my product and who else he’s working with. You do that, and I’ll make sure Troy pays for what he’s done.”

Something in his tone promised violence, and the thought of being caught between two dangerous men made me feel sick. “And if I refuse?”

His smile returned, but it was colder than before. “Refusing would be very unwise.”

He sat up, “I’ll give you until tomorrow morning to think it over.” He walks out the bedroom door, “also, happy early birthday.”

“H-how did you kn-“

“I know everything about you.”

My mind running circles. Confused, scared, lost. My mind went to Kai.

“Wait, what about Kai?”

He turns, “Ah yes, your brother… all depends on him. He already is aware Troy is not to be trusted. Just he needs a little push, he’s brainwashed at the moment.”

“Song Mingi!” I called out.

“You can call me just Mingi, beautiful.”

I shuttered, “I- I mean how can I know for sure I’ll be safe if I turn against Troy.”

He smiles, he walks over to the bed. His large soft hand brushes my face. “You’ll see, as I said you have until tomorrow morning. Make the right choice.” His plump lips kissed my cheek. A soft gentle kiss and made my face turn red. He chuckled at my reaction. “Cute.”

Finally alone my mind is racing.

I had to choose between my life if I say no. Or betraying Troy and the rest of the gang. Either way it’s a death sentence. Was Mingi telling the truth. His body language tells me he was not lying.

But who knows.

I want out of this shit.

The next morning:

I woke up from a shitty slumber and saw my phone vibrating, the number was unknown, “hello?”

“Good morning my beautiful Ho-Yeon. Have we made a decision?”

I looked back at how Troy did us, had us in some ran down trap house, selling bricks for him and only giving us chump change in return while he drove off in a G-Wagon and had it all. How he left Minho to die on the streets, how Crusher died for his selfish gain. How all these street niggas bow down to him because he got it and they want what he has. The fantasy he painted for them. ‘Hood rich’… And then how moms died trying to protect us from him…

Nah, he gotta go.

Troy is the real enemy.

Troy is my enemy.

“I’m in.”

“I knew you’d make the right choice.”

title; project omen

pairing; hongjoong x f!reader x wooyoung genre/wc; fantasy, hybrid!au, smut; 40.5K… ಥ_ಥ summary; you’ve never been close to your father, so when he passes it doesn’t affect, aside from the residual business that you have to take care of in his absence. exploring his basement uncovers a sealed chamber in a hidden room, a man with what looks like a tail staring back at you. contains; blood, injuries, age gap (100s, if it aint your thing skip thnx), miscommunication, lying, fighting, death mentions, starvation mentions (briefly), funeral, homophobia (in a flashback), mxm, angst, plot heavy, smut: fingering, soft sex, bruising, mc is slightly dominant with Woo, subspace a/n; this is for my bestie @hongism​ whom is getting old so i must celebrate that by creating a fic for her ofc ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ LOVE U BESTIEEE terms: Mul- water | Jigu- earth | Bul- fire | Bohoja- protector/guardian | Hae- sun | Dal- moon

You hated entering your father’s room.

Keep reading

Drop the Act(ft.Hongjoong) (Part 4)

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.”

-Oscar Wilde

You and Hongjoong couldn’t stand each other…right?

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Taglist: @kwonnansi ; @unabashedturkeytreeslime ; @happiestgirlontheeastcoast ; @to-all-the-stories-i-love ; @bangtanxberm ; @bunnybubkook​ ;

  Appearances from the Wooyoung and Seonghwa, and also Sunwoo from The Boyz

Helloooooo~ I know it’s been ages and I’m really sorry about that, but please enjoy part 4. I hope you enjoy this! Please do leave me notes and comments :))) I love them! My update schedule is not fixed, so please do let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

RIVALS TO LOVERS AU, IDIOTS TO LOVERS AU, Not exactly Enemies, but kinda, FAKE DATING AU

Warnings: Cursing, talk of snobby families, kissing, a cut.

Word count: 4446

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut in later chapters

————————————–

You were at the beach, wearing a white sundress, relaxing under the shade of your umbrella. You called out to someone.

“Babe, can you bring me a drink?”

Babe? You were dating someone. Good. Maybe your abysmal love life had finally decided to change. 

You didn’t hear a response.

“Babe?”

You heard soft footsteps in the sand behind you and you heard a familiar voice jokingly say,

“Geez. Wait a minute. They didn’t have your favourite, so I had to find another one.”

Hold on. Why did that voice sound so familiar? Why did he smell so familiar when he leaned down to give you your drink? You turned and looked up at him, but his face was blocked by the glare of the sun. You waited a second to get used to it and that was when it dawned on you.

The man with you was Kim Hongjoong. 

You jumped up from the bed, wide-eyed and very very confused. You should have hated that dream. After all, Hongjoong was an insufferable asshole who broke your friend’s heart. The only problem was that you didn’t hate it. It felt…nice. You groaned as you got out of bed, going to wash your face. Perhaps cold water would be able to get him out of your head.

Ever since he stayed behind at your house during the storm, with every passing moment, you found yourself thinking about Hongjoong more. It was confusing. It was very confusing. You hated him. Of course you did. But why did it feel like your relationship was changing? Why did those small moments of him comforting you mean so much to you? 

—

Keep reading

DROP THE ACT(FT.HONGJOONG) (PART 5)

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.” -Oscar Wilde

You and Hongjoong couldn’t stand each other…right?

I only write on this blog on Tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Taglist: @kwonnansi ; @unabashedturkeytreeslime ; @happiestgirlontheeastcoast ; @to-all-the-stories-i-love ; @bangtanxberm ; @bunnybubkook​ ; @nctflix​

Appearances from the Wooyoung and Seonghwa, and also Sunwoo from The Boyz

Helloooooo~ I hope you enjoy Part 5! This is my favourite chapter, so do leave me notes and comments about what you thought :))) 

My update schedule is not fixed, so please do let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.

RIVALS TO LOVERS AU, IDIOTS TO LOVERS AU, Not exactly Enemies, but kinda, FAKE DATING AU

Warnings: Cursing, talk of snobby families, kissing, mentions of alcoholism, arranged marriages, breakups, partial smut, blatant classism.

Word count: 3100

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut in later chapters

————————————–

You excused yourself early that night, only pausing to text Hongjoong as you drove home. Hongjoong himself only realised you were gone when Seonghwa was looking for you and he offered to call you. As he took out his phone, he saw your terse text.

- Hey

- I’m not feeling too good, so I’m going to head home

And immediately, he felt dread overcome him. It just felt…off. 

His brain went into overdrive. Shit. Were you that upset about the kiss? Things did get weird only after the kiss. Granted, with the way your parents had been glaring at you, he did have to kiss you, but he’d be lying if he said most of it wasn’t just him wanting to kiss you. And he did. He did lie to you. Partly because he was afraid of your reaction, even if you did get caught up in the moment and kiss him back. Mostly because he was terrified of what it meant. He hated you. He hated you and your family with his entire soul. How could he want to kiss you? 

No. It was just a temporary lapse in judgement. Call it the moment. Call it confusion. Call it whatever. But he most definitely did not want to kiss you. Even as his hands were aching to hold you again, that night, in bed, he told himself over and over again that he did not want to kiss you.

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Can someone recommend me some GOOD hurt to comfort's ateez/bts fic?

I need my heart to hurt

Taking Ateez x fem! blk reader request.

I don't write smut sorry.