Loss Of Faith - Tumblr Posts

He kept telling himself that one day it would all somehow make sense.

The war had been going on for a little over a year and everyone was done.

He walked the halls of the Resolute looking at the faces of his men.

They were all tired of this war. There breaks becoming less and less. While the battle's are becoming harder.

They are all worn down there last campaign had been difficult and a lot of men had died.

So many men were killed in a war that they were forced to fight.

It seemed every day he was loosing more and more brothers. He wondered sometimes, if they would ever survive this war. If he would ever survive this war.

Sometimes he layed awake thinking about the life he could have with his Cyare where there is no war.

Where they don't have to hide from the council or from the GAR.

He walked the hallways. The quiet empty hallways that used to be filled with men but was now filled with ghosts of the past.

He paused in front of the medbay and walked in. He was instantly hit with the groans of dying men and the smell of antiseptic and blood.

He walked the aisles looking at each man remembering their faces and their names.

He knew some of them would not survive the night.

Kix stopped in front of him and pointed him toward his Cyare's bed.

His General and the man he loves lay motionless. He had been injured trying to save his men from an ambush.

He remembers cradling his unconscious form in his arms. Begging him to survive because he needed him.

His General who always helped other's. Who cared about his men almost died saving them.

He sat down and held Anakin's cold hand. His face was pale and he had big bags under his eyes.

He looked at his Cyare laying peacefully attached to a bunch of machines.

He turned his head away trying not to look at his failure.

It's his job to keep his General safe. That's what he was made for. He was expendable while his General was not.

He looked away but only came face to face with more of his failure. He looked at his men injured and dying before looking at his Cyare again and thinking about what it was all for.

But he knew deep down he would never get his answer. He would never know.

That's why he did the same thing he does after every battle. Pick himself up and keep telling himself that it would all someday make sense.