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Mihawk and the Red Haired Pirates

-Look I don't know what to tell you, Mihawk's epithet is literally Hawkeyes meaning he is world-renowned for his eyesight meaning that he'd probably make a good sharpshooter. And maybe Yasopp decides to test this theory with a little friendly competition. And after giving Mihawk a quick intro into how guns work, maybe Yasopp had to pull out every trick there is in the book to narrowly avoid losing to said Hawkeyes, who as it turns out is indeed very good at hitting targets and who had literally just learned how to cock a gun not even 30 minutes ago. But who's to say what actually happened, the day of November 25th at 2:35pm? Certainly not Yasopp, the record clearly shows he is undefeated.

-Once a year Ben and Mihawk go on a little trip just the two of them. They act like it's just so they can shit-talk Shanks but actually, they just go fishing somewhere in the middle of the ocean and drink horribly overpriced and fancy alcohol. Look Benn loves his crew, and would die for them but also if he doesn't get at least a week to himself once every year he'd kill them all himself. He deserves nice things and a little peace and fucking quiet and not being constantly inundated with the whims of a man child and Mihawk's the closest he's ever gonna get to a friend with taste, and he travels alone with a bunch of fancy wine. Sue the man. Mihawk who would rather nap is fine to let someone else sail his overgrown raft against the annoyingly ever-changing grandline for a week or two.

-Wouldn't it be cute if Mihawk learned a lot of his fancier cooking techniques from Roux? Like he knew how to cook to survive but watching Roux is how he learned to like properly dice vegetables and that eating fish prepared the same way three times a day is not infact a life he would like to lead. This was of course less cute to Lucky Roux who in the beginning had no clue what was happening and only felt the weight of Mihawk's otherworldly stare on the back of his neck as he handled knives. (he defiantly for at least a little bit, thought Mihawk had a knife fetish. which, he's not entirely wrong)

-To Building Snake (who I just learned is the RHP's navigator) Mihawk might as well be a modern-day miracle. In his eyes, Mihawk's sailing is proof that god exists, because only divine intervention can explain how this man ever gets anywhere never mind on time or early even. Building Snake is pretty sure he owns neither a map nor a log pose and he has never actually seen the sails of Mihawk's pretend ship unfurled or in use. Actually, he has never seen Mihawk do anything but sit menacingly on the throne in the middle of the boat, which why? If you think about it for even a second longer that 2 minutes how Mihawk "sails" anywhere breaks every law of physics and somehow even the concept of geography. Building Snake would like to dissect him and study him under a microscope but knows the boss would disapprove.

Would they fuck?

Red haired pirates ver.

Shanks: Definitely. Most of ‘em are one night stand because the emperor of the seas would probably don’t have time for a formal relationship, but believe me that whoever who has fucked with him doesn’t regrets it at all.

Benn Beckman: By the information i got about him, yeah. He fucks each time they dock on an island. Also, he has almost 50yo, he has the experience of gods. Same as Shanks, you would’ve no regrets in fucking with him.

Yasopp: I have two possibilities since i don’t really know if Yassop knows his wife is up there. So: If he knows he would rarely fuck, i feel this man hasn’t gotten over Banchina’s death if he knows so it’s a so-so. Doesn’t has the gods experience like the latter two old men but he has quite the abilities.

If he doesn’t knows then the answer is obvious. No. He might be an idiot, a bad father, a coward and probably a liar just as Usopp, but he’s loyal.

Lucky Roux: Canonically he doesn’t gets bitches. For real, HE’S AN ADORABLE FAT MAN. Half One Piece women gotta be blind not to like him. But no, he doesn’t fucks 😔

Hongo: He’s afraid of dirt and probably has several OCD, he ain’t fucking neither touching you.

LimeJuice: He seems to barely like others presence. Try something with him and you’ll probably end up in the deepest of the ocean either you have a devil fruit or not. In resume: No, he wouldn’t and will not.

Howling Gab: He’s insecure 😞 I don’t think he would fuck mainly for the fact he’s scared to hurt the other person. HE’S A SWEET YOU CAN’T BE LIKE THAT.

Building Snake: He seems like a calm granny who just likes weather and cartography. No, he would not.

Rockstar: No bitches for him and i don’t blame them.