My Humor Is Broken - Tumblr Posts
Is it just me or do you cringe so hard that you don't make THAT face and it's just your hand violently shaking at how cringe it got?
I'D LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE HORNY TIMES PLEASE:
for each member, what is a/the non sexual act their partner may do that just gets them going? gets their gears turning? gets their gasses burning (???)?
bonne, this spoke directly to my soul. i feel my rotted brain melting.
please journey with me under the cut…
namjoon becomes so incomprehensibly horny whenever you make some quick, offhand socioeconomic/political commentary. for example, you’re watching the news together and hear something deserving of criticism. you talk back to the tv, as if that does much of anything. well, it kinda does because namjoon is pulling you into his lap. talk to anti-capitalism to him 😩💦
seokjin is down so bad that hearing god-awful dad jokes out of your mouth is world-ending. you groan whenever he gets corny, so the fact that this habit of his is clearly rubbing off on you? because you spend so much time together that you’re swapping idiosyncrasies?? something that cringeworthy shouldn’t make him so hot n bothered, but it sure does. “i’m horny”? more like “hi, horny. i’m dad”.
yoongi has a thing for that raspy voice of yours when you’re just waking up. you’re mostly talking nonsense at this hour and suddenly, he doesn’t care if you’ve brushed your teeth yet, or if your hair is sticking up in 800 directions. nope, not a fuck given.
hoseok starts thinking wild thoughts whenever he sees you be even slightly assertive, since he’s so go-with-the-flow. for example, you’re out for dinner. you order abc and are given xyz. in your shoes, hoseok would just accept it; he’d eat it even if he doesn’t like it (he will pull faces and whine, don’t get him wrong). but the second you flag down the waiter to point out the error, he’s white-knuckling the table. the power you have 🤌🏻🤌🏻
jimin feels his dick twitch whenever he’s proud of you, which is… most of the time. this comes up in a lot of different ways: if you achieve something at work; if you speak kindly about yourself (acknowledging that you do look delicious in that outfit); or you enforce a boundary with someone, etc…. UGH. that’s his mother 👏🏻 fuckin’ 👏🏻 baby 👏🏻 and you deserve to be rewarded.
taehyung, king of oral fixations, goes slack-jawed and stupid whenever you apply lip balm. it’s not intended to be a show, really, you don’t even realize he’s watching you — but now he’s gotta taste it, taste you, wind up with that shit smeared all over. if your lips weren’t chapped before, they will be soon 😵💫
jungkook loses his gd mind whenever you take something of his out of the laundry and wear it yourself. you don’t do it to be cheeky; his gigantic (even for him) shirts — the same one in every color because duh — are just comfortable. they always end up in a heap on the floor, anyways, but the laundry fairy will deal with that when he’s done with you 🧚🏻♀️
Why is this so funny
Today I discovered that "bro visited his friend/the visiterrrrrrr" isn't necessarily a widely known meme outside of tumblr after I referenced it irl and seemingly came across as a complete maniac, ironically exactly creating the circumstances of the original meme
a sneak peak maybe of an organic au i wanna work on.... will this au ever see the light of day? maybe..shrugs
Twitter: Don’t draw Scar with Scitties, it’s disrespectful!
Scar:
I just-
(not so good dirty joke to cheer you up bestie) they're on bikes but I want to ride them
Gives me the same energy as this:
Why park seonghwa when you can ride seonghwa
Aegon: Do you think that 12 bottles of vodka is enough for the party? If not I’ll just call Hel and Aemond and ask them to pick up more after they grab Daeron and the fireworks.
Otto: This is your dads funeral??
Aegon: Yeah, that’s what I just said, the party.
*explosion in the background*
Aegon: I think Criston might need your help with the barbecue.
