My Peom - Tumblr Posts
The Girl With The pinned Smile
there is a girl with a pinned smile that “everyone adores”
She knows what they say when she closes her door
and knows that her tears dropping like flies will not help her
The girl with the pinned smile is a model student with straight A’s
She feels like screaming every time everyone says that she will be fine when they give her double the normal amount of work
She wants to drop dead when everyone gives her all the work in a project
When she tries to tell anyone her accomplishment that she worked for and she gets in return is a “yeah, we get it you're smart.” or a “stop showing off.” She wants to stop trying.
The girl with the pinned smile won the lottery with her looks
She has such smooth skin, that isn’t covered with bumps
The bumps are scratched until crimson runs down her skin
When someone says she looks pretty she will respond “thank you!” even though she knows they are lying
When they say that she is ugly she doesn’t respond to it and walks away, and she believes it
The girl with the pinned smile says “I love you too” as she closes her door
She walks over to her mirror and looks the stranger in the eye
She unpins her permanent smile as tears race down her face, her cheeks are sore
Her perfect curls look like bramble bush on top her head
She pushes up her hair revealing the ugly bumps on her forehead
She takes off her shirt showing the bumps on her back and the ugly pudge on her stomach
She takes off her shorts, and bra
She puts on some cute pajamas that don’t match her at all
Words such as Ugly and useless cloud her head
She wants to shut them up
But she agrees with them
A small voice says the opposite she quite’s it so it is not heard
That small voice is lying
She curls up on her bed
So small in the big world
She is scared
And lonely
And fat
And loud
She wants to scream but knows that will only make her more loud
She wants to be quite, but knows that is not her
She gets up out of bed and grabs her sandals
She runs out of the house which is silent
She runs to the closed park
No one ever goes there anymore
In the dead of night when not even a mouse awake
She lets her silent scream reach the world
You can’t deny it, that’s not good for you
Why are you trying to save him? You can’t deny it, he’s dead.
I just thought that if I pretended that he was still alive he would come back.
You know that's not how it works, a lie like that will make your heart heavy and waste your life.
I just wish I could be there for him, even make him happy again. If I just-
You love him.
How did you know? I used to really love him-
Just because your heart doesn't flutter when you see his image does not mean you don’t deeply care for him.
Well I do care about him a lot.
That is visible, but pretending that you can get everything your heart desires with no work is taking its toll.
The life of a pencil ඞ
As I put the pencil onto the page,
I notice how it glides almost effortlessly,
Spreading its knowledge and experiences,
To anyone who is willing to listen, to hear,
It cries as it relives the life it endured,
Waiting, watching, wondering, if anyone,
Anyone will takeaway the misery it has been through,
It remembers all the biting, the scratching, the peeling,
All of the throwing, flinching, snapping,
It feels like it will never end.
Rain,
Oh the sweet dusted rain,
How I long to see your face,
As my head fills with empty space,
So alone in this rain,
As the road fills with black and gray,
Reminded of the wonderful times we had,
Those happy thoughts now make me sad,
Rain, oh, rain, will I see you again?
I hope this time I can make amends,
I look down at the river below,
As the world around me fails to glow,
My body quivers at the horrid thought,
As I remember what I once sought,
My mind feels empty within the storm,
Yet somehow it rages like a swarm,
I take my foot and step over the ledge,
I have no control and that I pledge,
Now the water that used to rush below,
Has my body within the riverflow.