Remus Lupin Imagines - Tumblr Posts
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- All Too Well
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Tell Me Your Secrets
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Fluff-uary Prompt - Long Conversations
Prompt - ‘Under the glow of the moon, I'll confess my deepest secrets to you and only you.’
To put it mildly Remus was exhausted, it was days after the last full moon and yet the ache in his bones still persisted, the deep cut of his torso kept opening with every little movement making Remus want to curl in a ball and not leave his bed. Even worse was the fact he had to smile and pretend like he wasn’t in agony, pretend that only nights before he hadn’t turned into a monster and clawed at his own skin.
All because he couldn’t tell you what he was.
You were absolutely perfect, a pure blood witch who, in Remus’ opinion, shouldn’t have given him another look and yet somehow here you were, so deeply rooted in his life that the thought of losing you hurt his heart more than the pain of his bones. Telling you wasn’t an option, not if he wanted to keep you but on days where the effects of the lycanthropy were at their most violent it was so hard to keep it a secret.
You knew something was wrong, watched day after day as Remus slumped over the table in the Great Hall, watched as the circles under his eyes got darker and darker, how he winced as he stood or grimaced as people brushed against him in the hallways. You watched him thoughtfully, not bringing it up to him yet, not when he looked as drained as he did.
You did pull Sirius aside one day to ask him, practically begged him to tell you what was happening with Remus but Sirius’ eyes had just turned sympathetic as he shook his head, it wasn’t his secret to tell.
Keeping your distance from Remus was hard, the two of you were practically attached at the hip, always having a hand interlocked with his, his arms slung around your shoulder or cuddling on the sofa in front of the fireplace. Now you were afraid to touch the man, not wanting to cause him any more pain and considering you didn’t know where or exactly how he’d gotten hurt you weren’t going to take any chances.
Remus, must as he hated to admit it, barely noticed your distance far too tired to focus on himself, yet alone anything else. He missed the concerned looks you shot him throughout the day, missed the way your mouth opened and shut several times as you almost asked him what was wrong but decided to keep silent instead.
James and Sirius watched everything though, they watched as you monitored Remus’ every move, shared sad smiles as they noticed everything their friend didn’t but they couldn’t force him to tell you his secret and they’d never tell you themselves. Still it was hard to watch their friends drift from each other without realising it.
The day, for Remus, seemed to drag on for far too long. He hadn’t gotten much sleep before, the constant ache that spread through his whole body had kept him tossing and turning, growling in frustration. Then on the way down to breakfast a first year student stumbled right into causing him to double over in pain, Sirius quickly pulling him into an empty classroom allowing his friend privacy as he caught his breath.
By the time he felt like he could walk again without wanting to crumble onto the floor they’d missed breakfast and the first ten minutes of class. Sirius easily took the blame as they walked into McGonagall’s class, both of them slipping into their seats. The rest of the day passed in a daze, Remus couldn’t recall a single detail of the day and by the time they were walking back into the common room, he was exhausted beyond belief.
He practically collapsed onto the sofa, Sirius, James and Peter all sharing concerned looks between the three of them as he did so. You watched from one of the chairs on the opposite side of the room, worrying at your lower lip as you did.
Remus sat with his eyes closed but it wasn’t long before he let out a low growl at the noise of the common room. Abruptly he stood up and made his way out, glaring at nothing in particular as he did so, no real destination in mind so long as it was quiet.
You watched the door to the common room close before your gaze shifted over to his friends, each of them looking as worried for Remus as you felt. You watched as they spoke quietly for a minute before they turned to look at you, you gave them a troubled look before Sirius stood up and made his way over to you, sitting casually on the arm of the chair, no one else aware of the worried thoughts in your heads.
“Go talk to him,” Sirius told you softly.
“He doesn’t want to talk to me,” You replied, just as quietly, turning to look up at him.
“Y/N, trust me you’re probably one of the few people he’ll talk to right now without biting their head off. I know he’s been distant lately but that’s not on you, he’s just…” Here Sirius trailed off and you looked at him, hoping he’d finally clue you in as to what was going on with Remus. “He needs you, Y/N/N.”
“How can I help him when nobody will even tell me what's wrong? I mean, how bad can it be?” You asked, watching as Sirius tried to hide a grimace.
“I already told you it’s not my place to say,” He repeated. He wanted you to know, he really did, he knew you wouldn’t break up with Remus over it and it wasn’t like you couldn’t be trusted with the secret but he knew how difficult it was for Remus, he knew the constant battle his friend thought he faced over losing you by telling you what he was. Sirius had told him more times than he could count that his fears were unfounded but Remus just shook his head and Sirius dropped the topic.
“Sirius,” You began, eyes wide as you pleaded with him but he cut you off.
“Please Y/N,” He said, his own eyes sad and apologetic, “just talk to him, he’s struggling.”
Sirius gave you a soft, encouraging smile before getting up and heading in the direction of the dormitories.
“I don’t even know where he went.” You called over to him watching as he turned to face you, walking backwards as the soft smile turned into a grin.
“Give me a minute.” He said, jogging up the stairs and murmuring a quick ‘I solemnly swear that I am up to no good’ before scanning the map for his friend's name.
“There you are,” He muttered to himself before closing the map and heading back down to the common room, jumping onto the couch causing James to roll his eyes though there was a smile on his face.
You rolled your own eyes as you pulled yourself out of the seat and over to Sirius, leaning over the couch.
“So,” You prompted, watching as he tilted his head back to face you.
“Astronomy tower.” He told you with a grin, laughing as you rolled your eyes again before pushing away from the sofa and following the path that would lead you to Remus.
You were silent as you stepped out onto the astronomy tower, eyes immediately drawn to Remus as he sat on the edge, letting his legs hang over. You watched as he stiffened, clearly not wanting company but you remembered Sirius’ words and walked closer to him, ready to leave if he asked you to.
Remus felt himself slowly relaxing as the two of you sat together in silence, both looking out at the horizon, watching as the sky turned pink and then orange as the sun set before you. It was in that moment Remus realised just how much he had shut himself off from you, realised how he’d gone days without talking to you without even noticing, realised that the secret was affecting his life much more so than he thought was possible.
It was then he knew he had to tell you, even if it meant losing you, he had to tell you. He wasn’t scared you’d out him, he knew he could trust you with his life, he knew you’d never use it against him, never hold it over his head even if you did decide to walk away.
“I’m sorry,” He began, voice soft so he didn’t break the peaceful atmosphere. He watched as you turned to face him, letting your cheek rest on the railing as you scanned his face and saw the nervousness that he was feeling.
“S’okay,” You told him, matching his tone, “Can I do anything to help?” You asked and Remus felt himself smile without meaning to because here you were, so absolutely beautiful and selfless, he had ignored you for days and the first thing you asked was could you help him.
God, he loved you.
“No baby, you can’t,” He said, the smile staying on his face as he shifted, sitting up straighter and letting his joined hands rest on the railings as he looked away from you. “Nothing can help me.”
“Remus, you know you can tell me anything, I might not be able to help you and I know you’ve got the boys but sometimes another perspective could help.” You told him.
“I love you so much,” He murmured, “You’re so good and I’m not,” You felt your eyebrows knit together in confusion but before you could interrupt he continued talking, “You deserve so much better, you deserve somebody good. Deserve somebody who isn’t a monster, somebody wh-”
“Remus,” You said, louder than the two of you had been speaking, causing his head to snap up to you as he realised he’d been rambling, “What are you talking about? You’re quite possibly the kindest person I have ever met.”
“I’m not, Y/N, I’m just not,” He told you, eyes filling with tears as he shook his head, “I’m not a good person, I’m a monster.”
You felt your eyes widen in worry as you watched him, thoughts racing trying to figure out what he was talking about but kept coming up short.
“Remus, sweetheart, you’ve got to talk to me.” You begged, shifting so you were sitting on your knees facing him.
“I’m a monster, Y/N,” He cried, the exhaustion he felt finally becoming too much.
“Hey, let’s take a breath, yeah?” You said as calmly as you could, taking a deep, slow exaggerated breath, watching as he copied you.
“I have to tell you, Y/N,” He said and you nodded, cupping his cheek and turning his face so he looked at you, feeling your heart ache as you saw the tears falling down his cheeks.
“You can tell me anything,” You prompted, brushing away some tears with your thumb, smiling sadly as he leaned into your touch, turning so his lips rested against your palm.
“I’m a werewolf,” He mumbled against your hand.
You felt your eyes widen at his confession, looking down at the man who refused to look at you, watched as he scrunched his eyes closed but tears continued to fall down.
It suddenly clicked in your head, the full moon had been only days ago and then Remus started distancing himself, wincing with each movement. Merlin, he must have been in some pain and the dark circles under his eyes suddenly made more sense.
Now that you had been told it made so much sense, too much sense in fact, and you could have slapped yourself for not piecing it together yourself. It also became clear why Sirius was adamantly against telling you himself and you felt your heart swell at his loyalness to his friend.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He repeated after his confession was met with silence. “I’m so sorry, Y/N/N.”
“Hey, hey, it’s fine,” You told him, meaning those words, sure finding out your boyfriend was a were was a bit of a shock but ultimately, werewolf or not, he was still Remus, still the man you’d known since you were eleven, the man who had never failed to make you feel safe, the man who saw you crying in the first week of year one and sat with your for hours, handing you pieces of chocolate as he did, because you were home sick.
He was still Remus.
“Don’t say sorry, baby, it’s ok, everything’s fine, everything is gonna be fine.” You told him, pulling him close to you and resting his head on your chest as you held him close. Remus happily sunk into your embrace, something he was sure he would never feel again, and let his eyes close as he wrapped his arms around your waist.
The two of you held each other for a long while, neither of you daring to say anything but eventually Remus pulled away, shuffling backwards so his back was against the wall before he pulled you close to him, his arm wrapping around your waist. You easily went to him, letting your head rest on his shoulder.
“You ready to talk about it?” You asked, shifting to look up at him as he sighed.
“Yeah,” He said, taking a deep breath, “What do you want to know?”
You smiled up at him, starting with the obvious questions of when and how.
“I was four,” He told you, watching as you gasped and looked at him with those sad, wide eyes that just about broke his heart. “A werewolf called Fenrir Greyback bit me in the middle of the night because my father," Here he let out a bitter laugh, "Well let's just say he never had a kind word to say about werewolves and they didn't like that." Remus paused to swallow the lump in his throat and you took that moment to take his hand in yours, giving it a comforting squeeze. "My dad came in before Greyback could kill me but it was too late, I got something worse than death." He told you through clenched teeth.
“Remus,” You said softly when he stayed quiet but he shook his head before placing it on top of yours, giving himself a second to collect himself.
“Dumbledore’s the only reason I’m at Hogwarts, if anybody found out-” Here he cut himself off with a shake of his head. “Sirius, James and Peter, they all- they found out themselves, couldn’t just leave it alone. It’s hard to hide going missing once a month though when you share a dorm with them. When they told me they knew I just, I felt sick. They were some of the first friends I had ever had and now they knew, I thought they’d hate me forever but then Sirius just patted me on the back and told me not to be an idiot, told me I was still Remus.”
“You are still Remus,” You told him, looking up at him so he could see you meant the words. You watched him relax, the tension falling away as he took the words in.
“Thank you,” He whispered.
“Remus, I love you, werewolf or not. I’ll be honest it’s a bit of a shock but I’m glad you told me because I hated this week, hated knowing there was something wrong and I couldn’t fix it.”
“You still can’t fix it, baby.” Remus told you softly, a smile making its way onto his face, he was so overwhelmed by you, by your kindness, by your acceptance.
“I know but at least now I can be there for you.” You said, smiling up at him and Remus felt his love for you deepen, something he didn’t think was possible but here you were shocking him once more.
“I love you so much.” He said before he leaned down to kiss you soft and slowly, trying to convey just how much he meant those words, convey just how grateful he was for you, grateful for the fact you still wanted him.
“I love you too,” You smiled once the two of you pulled away from each other, resting your foreheads together.
You don’t know how long the two of you sat up on the astronomy tower for, talking quietly to each other, before the temperature dropped to the point that you were shivering. Remus stood up first, holding a hand out for you and helping you up.
You watched him wince as the two of you descended down the long flight of stairs.
“Do you want to go and see Madam Pomfrey? You know she’ll give you a pain potion.” You asked him in concern.
“It’s ok, baby,” He said with a smile, “They don’t work too well anymore.”
You gave him a sad smile but let it go and let him lead you back to the common room. Murmuring the password Remus held the door open for you and you made your way in, noticing that despite the lateness Sirius, James and Peter were still in the room exactly where you had left them all those hours ago, looking over at you and Remus with questioning looks.
Remus rolled his eyes fondly but made his way over to them, joining Sirius on the couch and pulling you down with him. You smiled as you cuddled into his chest, watching as the others all let out a collective sigh of relief.
“She knows?” James asked, looking from you to Remus.
“She knows.” Remus confirmed, smiling down at you as he wrapped his arms around you.
“And we’re all good?” Sirius asked, this question directed towards you causing Remus to let out a huff of laughter.
“Yeah Sirius, we’re all good.” You told him with a smile, meaning the words.
As Remus watched you and Sirius begin playfully bantering, James joining in too he couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Somehow he had ended up here, an amazing girl by his side who hadn’t given his lycanthropy a second thought when she thought about being with him, a group of friends who had welcomed him despite everything, who had spent three years of their lives figuring out how to become animagus’ just to help him.
He had no idea how he had gotten so lucky but he decided not to question, not tonight at least. Instead he kissed the top of your head and joined in the conversation, he had gotten pretty lucky to have you all with him and he wouldn’t waste a single moment he had with any of you.
_________
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Wolf and All
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Febuwhump Prompt - Caged
Prompt - ‘The secrets we hide will always come out in the end, we just have to hope that love is enough."
For months you had watched silently, listening to the excuses, the lies. You smiled and nodded, showing no signs of distrust, no signs that you knew every word was a lie. You still stayed close to him, let him hold you in his arms, cuddled him in front of the fireplace as you laughed along with him, with his friends and listened to them all lie.
Remus Lupin was lying and you were determined to figure out what he was hiding.
Your first thought had gone to another girl. Remus was suspicious, sneaking away multiple times a day looking stressed, agitated, before coming back relaxed and calmer. You thought he was seeing somebody else but that theory was pushed away quickly because even though he was lying to you, you knew deep down that wasn’t the type of person that Remus Lupin was.
It turns out other theories were harder to come by, when one’s boyfriend was being sneaky it usually was because of another person but now you had to try and piece together another reason for the lies.
You remembered the excuses he’d used, most of them generic like he was tired or he had homework. You note how some days he really did seem more tired than usual, a tiredness that couldn’t quite be fixed with sleep, a tiredness that you could feel in every movement. You watched as he winced, how when you cuddled into him sometimes he tried to hide grimaces and hisses of pain.
Try as you might, you couldn’t come up with any plausible theories that could lead to the lying and the sneaking around, the fresh scars and quiet suffering. You ran through more scenarios than you could count trying to find something that seemed likely but couldn’t figure anything out.
Today you’d had enough.
From the moment you’d entered the common room Remus had been short tempered, snapping at you over nothing and stalking out of the common room. You hardly heard from him for the rest of the day, just continued to watch him carefully, watched how his shoulders stayed tense, watched as he glared and snapped at anybody who dared speak to him, watched him be the complete opposite of his usual self.
Something was wrong and you were done watching silently from the background. You and Remus had been together for two years, friends for even longer, and yet he didn’t trust you with whatever secret he was hiding. You shook your head as you stirred your potion, eyes focused on Remus as you decided enough was enough.
That night at dinner you sat a few seats away on the opposite side of him, making yourself look busy as you played with the food on your plate, waiting for Remus’ next move. He stayed where he was though, picking at the food on his plate and glaring around the Great Hall.
His eyes locked on yours and the glare didn’t soften instead he glared at you before he turned away, leaving you feeling angry yourself, knowing you hadn’t done anything to warrant the cold, silent treatment. You knew it wasn’t just you he was being uncharacteristically angry towards but you didn’t care, it wasn’t continuing.
You watched as Remus stood up with the three other boys all making their way out of the Great Hall and gave it a few seconds before you stood too, following behind them but keeping your distance, wanting to see where they were going. Pretty quickly you realised that they were just heading back to the common room and rolled your eyes, knowing that it was when Remus went off alone you needed to be alert.
So you sat in a corner of the common room, watching the boys take the spaces in front of the fireplace, the other three laughing and joking as Remus scowled down at a book.
It was hours later and the common room was mostly empty. You glanced over the top of your book and saw the boys shooting you worried and slightly impatient glances as the sun began to set outside the windows. You didn’t say anything though, trying to make it seem like you were too absorbed in your book to notice any moves they made but none of them moved.
James and Sirius looked away from you and over at each other, seemingly having a silent conversation before Sirius made his way over to you, sitting on the arm of your chair and pulling the book from your hand.
“Good book?” He asked and you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “It’s getting late,” he said as casually as he could, giving you no time to answer as he gestured towards the stairs, “you should head to bed.”
“And since when are you so concerned with my sleeping hours?” You asked him, trying to sound bored and uninterested.
“Forgive me for wanting to make sure you get your beauty sleep.” He chuckled and you noted the way it seemed slightly forced as he looked out of the window before turning to you again and standing from the chair, holding a hand out for you with a grin.
You rolled your eyes at him but let yourself be pulled up from the chair, waving over at James and Peter on the sofas and resisted the urge to roll your eyes as Remus continued to glare down at the book. You let Sirius lead you towards the stairs, bidding you goodnight and not turning away until you’d rounded the corner.
“You should head out.” Sirius said, causing your eyebrows to knit together questioningly, keeping your back to the wall as you listened to them, “See you in the morning.”
You didn’t hear Remus reply but you did hear the portrait door open and close.
“You think she knows?” You heard James ask quietly as the boys made their way over to the stairs, turning towards the boy’s dormitory.
“She knows something’s wrong; we just have to help him make sure his secret stays a secret.” Sirius said and you frowned as their door shut, cutting off anything else.
You hurried back down the stairs and out of the portrait door, only a few seconds had passed since Remus left the common room and you smiled as you saw him round the corner, following after him but being sure to keep your distance.
It wasn’t long before Remus stopped at the front doors of the castle, Madam Pomfrey stood waiting for and gave him a soft, reassuring smile as she held the door open for him, gently patting his shoulder as he walked out.
You felt your confusion grow as you managed to squeeze your way through the closing door, easily avoiding being seen by the darkening sky as you continued to follow them. You watched in slight amazement as the Whomping Willow came to a sudden halt and watched as Remus and Madam Pomfrey disappeared through a secret entrance.
You had two options right now, continue following them and risk the tree becoming active again or turn around and go back to the common room. With a deep breath you darted across the grass, waiting for the moment branches started swinging again but somehow you managed to make your way through the secret entrance before you heard movement from outside.
A huff of relief left you and you followed the light you could see in the distance from Madam Pomfrey’s wand, completely and utterly confused as to why Remus had been brought to what looked like an old house, dust surrounding the different surfaces and planks of wood hung dangerously from the walls, looking like it would fall apart with only a soft breeze.
Despite your confusion you followed the two of them into one of the rooms, panicking as they both stopped and quickly hid yourself behind some boxes in the room, listening as Madam Pomfrey spoke.
“Now dear, I’ll be back first thing in the morning,” she told him and you felt your eyebrows knit together, the morning?
A few more words were traded between them before Madam Pomfrey left the room, the wards magically sealing as she left, locking you and Remus in the room together.
You peeked through the boxes and saw Remus begin to strip out of his uniform before he sat heavily on the bed, seemingly waiting for something.
What in Merlin’s name is going on? You thought to yourself but were pulled out of your head when Remus let out a cry of pain. You peeked through the boxes again and saw him hunched over, watching as his limbs seemed to stretch, bones poking out of his skin as he continued crying out.
The cries seemed to turn into growls and howls as you watched his back arch unnaturally before he pushed himself off the bed, landing on the dusty floor and as quickly as he had started it was over and you were left staring in horror at the creature on the floor.
I just caged myself in a room with a werewolf, you thought to yourself as fear ran through your body, you holding your breath, desperate not to make a single noise to attract the wolf’s attention to you.
Thankfully the wolf stayed hunched on the floor, the transition taking a lot of energy out of him but then he lifted his head sharply, looking around the room as he let out a few loud sniffs and you closed your eyes, hand resting on your mouth in an attempt to smother any noises.
You heard him walk around, paws echoing around the silent room as the sounds got closer and closer to you. You felt your breathing speed up, still desperately trying to silence yourself as tears slipped down cheeks and cursing yourself for not letting Remus keep his secrets.
You kept your eyes close but felt your heart stop as you felt breath against your face, fear coursed through your body as you prepared yourself for what was about to happen, preparing yourself for the absolute worse.
A violent flinch spread throughout your entire body when you felt the wolf nuzzle his snout against your cheek before a tongue came out to lick at it, wiping the tears away only for them to be replaced a second later.
When the wolf let out a whine you forced your eyes open, a terrified gasp leaving you as you saw the wolf right in front of you but he just whined again, butting his head against yours with more force.
“R-remus?” You managed to stutter out, voice barely above a whisper and you could feel your heart in your throat but the wolf just lowered his face, nuzzling into your neck but paused as you tensed up, waiting for his teeth to sink into the skin.
The wolf whined again before pulling back and lay down in a pile of long limbs, almost seeming grumpy. You stared down at him for a moment before you lifted your hand, watching how the wolf was instantly on alert, lifting his head up eagerly as he watched you lowered it, leaning up himself so that your hand rested on his snout.
“Remus?” You asked again, this time your voice was more steady, slightly louder as you looked down at him. You ran your hand across his snout, rubbing the soft skin and watched as the wolf lay his head back down, this time resting on your thigh.
You stared down at him, feeling too many emotions run through you as you watched the wolf close its eyes, watched as it dozed off against you. You didn’t know too much about werewolves, didn’t know much more than a bite from them was life ruining, but you did know that they weren’t supposed to behave like supernatural overgrown puppies.
Suddenly though everything seemed to make sense, the fresh and healed scars, the winces, the angry outbursts…everything just made sense.
Your boyfriend was a werewolf.
As the night went on you found yourself relaxing, the wolf apparently deciding the best way to spend the full moon trapped inside was to sleep against you. He had long since moved from his position on your thigh and nudged at you until you moved, taking his robe in your teeth to pull you across the room. You had watched as he nosed at the dusty pillows until they fell on the floor and pushed you down so you were laying against them, from there he had curled up around you and fell back to sleep.
Despite the wolf’s uncharacteristic response to you, you didn’t plan on falling asleep in the same room as him but eventually you ended up doing just that, fingers slowly coming to a stop as they ran through the hair on his back and eyes falling shut.
The next thing you knew Remus was shaking you awake, pale faced and looking seconds away from throwing up. You didn’t even have a second to comprehend what was happening as he was launched into a scared rant.
“What in the world were you thinking?” He began, already moving away from you and pacing the length of the room, despite that though you couldn’t help but smile as he looked more refreshed than he had in days. “Do you have any idea of what could have happened last night? Any idea of how much danger you had been in? I could have killed you, Y/N, I could have bit you!”
You tried to speak but Remus wasn’t looking at you, he continued to walk up and down, shaking his head as he let his thoughts run wild.
“Was this a joke to you? Did you want me to hurt you? I couldn’t have lived with myself if I woke up this morning to find you dead on the floor because of me, to find you with a bite mark because of me.”
As Remus continued to stress over the what if’s you stood up and made your way over to him, stopping him in his tracks and wrapping your arms around his shoulder, letting your fingers play with the hair on the back of his head.
“You’re ok,” You murmured, pulling his head down and resting your foreheads together, “you’re ok, I’m ok. Nobody was bitten, nobody is dead. I know now it was dangerous but believe me I didn’t know.”
“What were you thinking?” He asked you, wide, guilty eyes filled with tears.
“I was worried about you,” You told him simply, “You were so angry at everybody, angry at me. You haven’t been sleeping, you’re in pain and the scars…I knew something was wrong and you weren’t going to tell me so I followed you.”
“I could have hurt you.” He murmured, lifting a hand to cup your cheek, brushing his thumb against your skin.
“But you didn’t.” You assured him and you watched him shut his eyes, a single tear making its way down his cheek.
“I’m so sorry,” He said, so quietly that despite how close you were you almost missed it, “I’ll leave you alone, I promise.”
“What are you talking about?” You asked him, eyebrows pulling together in confusion.
“Don’t make this harder, Y/N/N, we both know that you don’t want to be with a werewolf. I always knew this day would come, I had just hoped we had more time.” Remus whispered, eyes still closed and missing the way your face turned from confused to offended.
“You think I’d leave you over this?” You asked, the tone of your voice had him opening his eyes and seeing the look of disbelief on your face. “Remus, I love you, wolf and all.”
Remus stared at you in shock, looking down at you for a long moment before his face shifted into a look of his own disbelief.
“Wolf and all?” He asked you after opening and closing his mouth but having no words come out.
“Wolf and all.” You confirmed, smiling up at him.
Remus let out a wet laugh as more tears ran down his face and he crashed his lips against yours in an uncoordinated kiss, his finger sliding up and gripping your hair as you tightened your own grip around his neck, kissing back just as messily.
The two of you pulled away when you heard the sound of footsteps walking up to the door. You stared at Remus with wide eyes and he gestured for you to hide but then stopped you with a hand on yours, pulling you in for a softer gentler kiss, completely unbelieving that he had gotten so lucky as to have you in his life.
“I love you too.” He whispered, loving the way your eyes lit up at the words despite hearing them a thousand times before you turned to hide, fully intending to continue what he had started later.
_________
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Lastnames - Remus Lupin
Uncle Remus x Fem!reader
Warnings: none
Word count: 409
Summary: Remus is going to work at Hogwarts (like the movie) which means he needs to bring his niece with him but with her Lastname being Black could cause a problem
Masterlist
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“I thought you didn’t want me going to Hogwarts because of my Lastname, uncle Remus?” Y/n spoke looking out the train window sitting across from her uncle.
“I don’t but I’m going to be teaching there and we are going to give you my Lastname at the school. So on ones to know.” Remus told his young niece
Y/n laughed before looking to her uncle with an amused face hiding her excitement “So I’m gonna be a Lupin? And I’m gonna get to actually make friends?”
“Yes you are” he smiled at Y/n
“Why haven’t you giving me your Lastname before Uncle Remus?” she asked turning her gaze downward
Remus sighed “Because Love, as much as I don’t like what your father did. He was good to you when he was around and loved you more than anything so I thought you should keep something of him. Hunny even after your mother passed away he did everything he could for you while he was still around.”
“He cared about me?” Y/n questioned fiddling with her fingers, stealing a glance up at him.
“A lot Love, a lot.” he gave her a tight-lipped smile along with his answer
“Uncle Remus?” she asked again
“Yes, Love?”
“Thank you” Y/n thanked, staring straight at him
“For what?” Remus questioned not knowing why Y/n was thanking him
Y/n bit her lip looking down once again “for taking me in after everything that happened. You didn’t have to, but you did. So thank you.”
“I wouldn’t have let you go to anyone else hun. I love you as if you were my own.” Remus gave her another serious look
Y/n smiled at him gratefully. Before she thought of something to lighten the mood. “You know on a different note I think you and Tonks should get married and have a baby. You need to pop the question, Uncle Rem.”
She started at him for a bit but she read him “oh come on. You both are in love with each other you should propose.”
He smiled “you like Tonks?”
Y/n smiled “yeah, she’s cool.”
Remus was glad to see how excited Y/n is to be finally going to Hogwarts. Having already met the professors through him before. HE knows how much she’s wanted to make friends but Remus couldn’t help but worry. What would happen to his beloved niece if Sirius comes to Hogwarts?
Do I make you nervous?
Remus Lupin x fem!Reader
I was over at my boyfriend, Remus' house, in hopes of spending some time with him since he's been busy with school work. But it's been a couple of hours and he still hasn't given me any attention. "Remmy," I said, trying to get him to look up from what he was reading.
"Remus." I said again, after he ignored me the first time.
"Yes, love?" He asked, spinning around in his chair.
"Hi," I said, now realizing I had no idea what to say.
"Is that all?" he questioned, a confused expression painted on his face.
"Can you pay attention to me. Pretty please?" I implored him, giving him my best puppy dog look.
"Come here darling," he said, stretching his arms out for me.
I got up from his bed, walking over towards him, taking a seat on his lap as his arms wrapped around me. He spun back around, resting his chin on my shoulder so he could continue to read his paper. "Remmy." I whined, crossing my arms.
"I'm sorry love, but I have to finish this, then I'm all yours, I promise."
I let out a sigh, before getting off his lap and walking over to his bookshelf, grabbing the first book I saw and going back to his bed.
An hour has passed, and my body was sprawled out across his bed, the duvet was soft against my skin as I struggled to stay focused on the book. Since my eyes kept adverting back to Remus, who was still sitting at his desk working on a English paper. I let the book fall shut with a frustrated sigh, before tossing it aside and crawling under the duvet, deciding to just go to sleep since I was tired of waiting for him.
A little while later, I woke up to the sound of thunder, groaning in annoyance as I rubbed my face, trying to get my eyes to focus, before looking at the wrist watch, wondering how long I had been sleeping for. I let out a sigh at the fact that it had only been an hour. I sat up, about to yell at Remus again, when I realized that his desk was empty. Growing anxious, I looked around the room once before slumping down into the pillows, pulling the duvet up to my chin.
I attempted to fall back asleep, since it was pretty obvious he wasn't going to give me any attention today. I was half asleep when my eyes shot open, startled by the weight of somebody on top of me. I looked up to be met eye to eye with Remus. He was hovering over me, his arms propping himself up so that he wouldn't completely crush me. "morning babe," he said, chuckling a little at my startled expression.
I looked away, not wanting to see his face since I wanted to be mad at him for ignoring me earlier. "Come on love, look at me," He whined, putting his fingers under my chin, and forcing me to look up at him.
"pretty please," he asked with a pout. When I shifted my eyes away from his, he began kissing my neck and collarbone, trying to get me to give him attention. I tried to hold back a moan as he began to suck and bite down on my neck. "Rem," I said, putting one hand on the back of his head, pushing him more into me.
After a while, he brought his head up from my neck, grabbing my chin once again, his eyes hungrily adverting from my lips to my eyes, as he bit down on his bottom lip. I swallowed on nothing, trying my absolute hardest not to look in his eyes.
He brought his mouth down to my ear, "Do I make you nervous?" He whispered, trying not to laugh.
"Maybe," I breathed out, feeling my face heat up.
He smiled proudly as he rolled over to my side, getting under the covers as well. "Good," he said, pulling me into his chest, as he closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to cuddle and to go to sleep.
Sirius Black, James Potter and Remus Lupin | Harry Potter Series | Not my gif | Requested
James: You can’t fancy them! I fancy them!
Sirius: What do you mean you fancy them? You’ve got Evans, isn’t she enough!
Remus: Mates, stop arguing and listen to us for once!
Y/N: We’re so sorry we didn’t tell you but Remus and I have been dating in secret.
James&Sirius: WHAT?!?!
Requests are OPEN!
Real or not real?
Teaser
James Potter X reader. Slow burn. Warning for domestic abuse and neglect (Black family)(no Lily slander) Around 3.3k words? Fifth year start.
A Spotify playlist of some ambient music!
Autumn in the Scottish Highlands was, in itself a reason to attend Hogwarts. Blue September skies, speckled with wispy clouds. The falling bronze leaves and the red hued sunsets.
This was no less than a second home to most students. A safe haven if you will. It was good to be going home.
She had grown up with Sirius and Regulus so her regular residence wasn't much of a home. Her parents Ignatius and Lucretia (Black) Prewett had left her to Orion and Walburga often so they could travel around France. Noone actually knew where they would be or for how long they would travel. Only that they were always gone for indefinite amounts of time. They never sent letters, maybe an odd postcard or two. Y/N kept them hidden in a drawer in her room. (Call her sentimental if you will.) The terrible house of Black had adored her until she was sorted into Gryffindor along with Sirius. After that, they were both called blood traitors and treated as such. However, being someone else’s child, they treated her with less disdain than Sirius. That being said, they weren't the kindest of people, if at all.
Y/N would bring Sirius half her food when he would get sent to his room early without dinner. (which was quite often.) Sneaking things in her long sleeves and pockets whenever she could. Strangely, Kreacher had caught her once, but he said absolutely nothing and pretended that he saw nothing. (She would not forget this kindness.)
Things only escalated when they reached their, now, fifth year. Y/N always took her yellings, occasional threats, and hexes in silence whereas Sirius would fight back. In a way, she admired him for his bravery, knowing that he possessed the strength that she lacked. Whereas, his admiration for her resided in her refusal to back down, cry or beg. They had a mutual respect for one another. On another hand, she was somewhat envious of Regulus, he was apparently the perfect child who was, (seemingly) loved.
That was until she started to notice the bags under his eyes at the beginning of this year. She hadn’t really had the chance to talk to him, between Walburga’s looming presence and by the younger boy’s being sorted into Slytherin. However, she had the feeling he wasn’t exactly taking up his family ideals to heart.
Ever since fifth year began, Y/N and Sirius had never again called 12 Grimmauld Place home.
~
Y/N kicked her feet rhythmically, leaning her head on Lily Evans' shoulder. Their Hogwarts express compartment was filled with chatter, a welcome distraction from her thoughts. Somehow, over the past four years, she had been adopted into the gryffindor group of girls in her dormitory. Lily, Alice, Marlene, and Dorcas, had patiently and painstakingly, coaxed the girl out of her shell. Y/N was truly grateful for their friendship. In the beginning she couldn't help feeling that their kindness was based on pity. That had made it hard for her to trust them. This meant that before fifth year, she had never really interacted with them outside of the Gryffindor house dorms.
Marlene and Dorcras were pelting question after question at Alice, wanting to know the details of her crush on Frank Longbottom. Ever the curious couple, Y/N felt slightly glad that she wasn’t on the receiving end of their questions.
‘You’ll be “Alice Longbottom” one day.’ Y/N grinned teasingly at the girl with the pixie cut.
Alice laughed before shrugging good naturedly, 'We’ll see. Frank is awfully shy. I might have to be the one initiating everything.’
Marlene cut in with her arm around Dorcas, ever a picturesque couple. ‘And Lily’s last name will be “Potter!”’
Y/N stifled a giggle at the comment.
Lily gagged before letting out a sigh, ‘It’s not that Potter isn’t just a complete tool. I’m also just not into men.’
Y/N shrugged. ‘Yeah, you keep making eyes at Emmeline Vance during charms. It’s actually kind of sickening how adorable your pining face is.’
Lily flicked Y/N’s nose. ‘When are you going to start hanging out with us outside the dorms? All you do is go to the library or hide in the kitchens and bake while chatting with the elves.’
Dorcas pouted, adding, ‘You don't even sit with us during class!’
Y/N winced while casting her eyes down. Another thing, she really didn’t like drawing attention to herself or loud noises. Those things usually lead to shouting and maybe a raised hand back at Grimmauld Place. They caused an unpleasant reaction out of the girl.
‘I can’t do crowds, I really am sorry. It’s not that I don't want to, you’re all lovely but-’
‘That's alright, you take your time love. You'll come talk to the rest of us when you're ready.’ Alice gently reassured her, patting the girl beside her on the arm.
Y/N smiled gratefully. The girls weren’t at all pushy about getting Y/N to hang out with them. However, they did always ask. They wanted her to feel and be included. None of them ever took a rejection personally. It was what made Y/N lower her walls all the more.
Lily ruffled Y/N’s hair affectionately. The rest of the girls continued their chat whilst the introverted girl stared out the window, still leaning on Lily’s shoulder, taking in the view and enjoying the company. The dark pine trees that littered the lands surrounding all the lochs, glittered in the rare sunlight. She let out a soft sigh, allowing herself to relax, just for that moment.
~
The hustle and bustle of the students, all ecstatic to see each other again made Y/N giddy. She had, however, skipped the feast, opting to go say hello to all the elves who had finished preparing the feast. She particularly enjoyed Wigby’s desserts. (He was admittedly her favourite house elf.) He made the best sweets which led to Y/N learning all her baking skills from the friendly house elf.
The halls were electric with energy, almost tangible. This year Y/N and her friends were to be taking their O.W.L exams. To be honest, she was completely ready, having already studied up to the N.E.W.T level of all her subjects. Studying and reading at Hogwarts was her escape, truly. She padded into the first class, Potions. She slipped into the seat next to Lily, quickly giving the red haired girl a gentle squeeze on her hand and flashing a smile at the rest of the girls who greeted her enthusiastically. They had convinced her to sit with them during classes this year instead of her usual spot at the back away from prying eyes.
As they continued their conversation, Y/N unpacked her quill, and parchment while waiting for the lesson to start. As she doodled a small picture of a cauldron, a cocky voice crooned out. ‘Ah, my sweet girl, how I’ve missed- Who are you and why are you in my seat?’, James Potter. Lily’s self proclaimed “sweetheart” word vomited at the poor girl.
Y/N gripped the desk tightly, her knuckles turning white. Confrontation, how lovely. As much of an amusing topic of complaint he was that she had heard from conversation with the girls. He was completely unfamiliar to her. She found a spot on the table and stared at it with the utmost concentration, unable to bring her eyes to meet the owner of the voice. Lily also ignored the voice. Instead opting to cover Y/N’s hand with her own, continuing her conversation with Marlene, and Dorcas about the importance of studying for their O.W.L’s
‘Ah, you’ll survive the lesson James, come on,’ a voice drawled, waving James away. A voice which Y/N immediately recognised as belonging to Sirius.
Y/N looked up and turned around, wanting to meet Sirius’s eyes to mouth a, “Thank you” but her eyes met hazel ones instead.
‘Oh.’ James mumbled with wide eyes. He was standing right behind her, not having moved back to his actual “spot”.
Y/N’s eyes darted away immediately before finding Sirius’s. His eyebrows were raised with mirth and he smiled, shrugging his shoulders. She flashed him a small smile before turning around, basically ignoring James Potter. This was new. People didn't usually ignore him. They would at least retort with something witty, but to be completely silent?
‘Mr Potter, I trust you will be able to find your seat?’ Professor Slughorn called out, striding into the classroom, his large belly preceding him through the door. He was Y/N's favourite professor. He was kind to Lily and Y/N. (Probably due to their prowess in potions but nonetheless!)
‘Yes sir.’ James sat down without protest, his gaze lingering on her before his thoughts were interrupted by Professor Slughorn. He hadn’t noticed her before. How had he not noticed someone for four years?
‘Today, we will be assigning our first assignment of the year. An essay on polyjuice potion. Four weeks sounds like ample time does it not?’
As the professor announced their first assignment. James couldn't help but notice how Y/N avoided looking in any direction that wasn't the front or her notes. He leaned in close to Sirius, whispering just loud enough for him to hear amongst the groans of the class,
‘What's her deal?’ He asked, glancing at Y/N again.
Y/N dutifully jotted down the specifics of the assignment, (unbeknownst to her) under James’s gaze, allowing Lily to periodically glance at her notes. She whispered something into Lily’s ear to which the redhead smiled at her and nodded.
‘What are they whispering about?’ James nudged Sirius again.
‘Y/N probably asked if Lily wanted to pair up.’ Remus interrupted. ‘She is rather shy.’
‘You know her?’ James gaped at the sandy haired boy.
‘James, Y/N has been in our classes since first year. She just doesn’t really talk.’
‘Besides, you’re too busy pining over your “Lilypad” to really notice any other women.’ Sirius mused with his arms crossed, feeling slightly protective of his little cousin.
‘And how do you know her?’ James retorted. Ignoring Sirius's quip, however true it could have been.
‘She’s my cousin.’
‘Huh.’ Remus blinked.
‘You didn't know that?’ James glanced at Remus ‘I thought you knew her?’
‘No, I just know she’s practically topping almost every class, she doesn’t really speak to-’
‘Now boys, would you like to share your conversation with the rest of Gryffindor and Slytherin?’ Slughorn called out to the boys, his large walrus moustache twitched above his lip, the man seemingly amused by their chattering.
‘No sir.’ Remus replied evenly.
‘Well then! I shall announce the pairings for the assignment!’ He smiled merrily, ignoring the cries of protest from the rest of the class.
Y/N’s face paled and she whipped her head to look at Lily. Usually they were paired off in their seats, not randomly. Y/N had truly enjoyed his classes up till now but this? Suddenly Slughorn was rapidly losing his status as favourite professor.
Lily looked at her worriedly, “Lets just hear who you have to pair with. If it's someone obnoxious, we’ll go speak to the professor or I’ll swap with you.”
Y/N’s heart swelled with emotion at her friend's empathy.
‘I couldn’t ask that of you Lily.’ Y/N whispered, misty-eyed. Kindness was a luxury that Y/N had so often been not able to afford for so long. Seeing it up close and displayed just for her, she couldn't help but be slightly overwhelmed.
‘It’s okay, I’m the one who offered.’ Lily patted her arm, reassuring the fidgety girl.
‘If I could marry you Lily Evans, I would do it in a heartbeat.’ Y/N tugged at Lily’s sleeve, looking down bashfully.
‘Now if only you were into women.’ Lily grinned, squishing Y/N’s cheeks with her hands gently. ‘What a treat you would be.’
‘Lily!’ The shy girl pouted, batting away the other girl's hands playfully.
‘Ms Mckinnon, and Ms Meadowes,’ To which the couple let out a happy cheer.
‘James Potter, and Lily Evans,’ Lily slumped over immediately, letting her head rest onto the desk with a quite audible Thwump! To which Y/N giggled, at her sudden change in demeanour.
James was completely caught off guard when Professor Slughorn announced his partner for the assignment. He had been so preoccupied with the revelation of Y/N being related to Sirius and trying to figure her out that he hadn’t even been paying attention to the teacher. He couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at Lily’s exaggerated head bang onto the desk after hearing her own partner. Before he could think of a witty comeback, he heard the next pairing.
‘Sirius Black, and Y/N Prewett.’ Y/N perked up, looking at Lily with bright eyes, shaking her head with a smile. This was one of the people she would be able to work with!
‘Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.’ The two boys subtly high fived. Strangely enough, James wasn’t making a huge fuss over being paired with Lily. Strange enough for even Y/N to take notice, though she refrained from commenting.
Remus took a side glance at James, he wasn't sure if he would regret asking his friend his question.
‘You're not ecstatic over being paired with Lily?’ Remus questioned.
‘I am, I just...’ James shook his head. At this point, he knew Lily wasn't into him. In fact, he wasn't even sure she liked men. He wasn't the only boy in Hogwarts to have ever asked her out. At this point, it was just a long bit and a way to keep other girls from approaching him.
Sirius smirked knowingly. He may have been a lazy student but he sure as hell wasn't stupid. He could tell that after third years incessant rejections, James had no desire to date LIly ever since.
‘Since you all feel the need to cheer at each pairing. I shall leave the list on the board and you can all cheer at the same time. Take this time to move into your pair and discuss your assignment. That'll be all for this lesson. Welcome back students.’ Slughorn's eyes glimmered with amusement, revealing the quip towards the class to be good natured. The professor sat back down at his seat as the class began to disperse once again into chatter and movement. He generously answered stray questions from the students who wandered to his desk in need of assistance.
Y/N stood up and walked over to Sirius’s desk and nudged his foot with her own. Grabbing his attention soundlessly.
Sirius gave her a genuine smile and shoved James with his shoulder.
‘Go over to your “Lily flower”. I’ve got to discuss the assignment with my partner.’
James blinked owlishly at Y/N, still taking in her very existence.
‘Sorry?’ Y/N whispered, looking at him hesitantly.
‘Quite alright,’ James nodded, standing up to walk towards Lily without his signature smirk.
Y/N sat down with Sirius and smiled shyly before asking, ‘Is Potter alright? I thought he would be thrilled to be up partnered with Lily?’
Sirius blinked, ‘You keep up with this stuff?’
Y/N tilted her head from side to side, ‘Not particularly, more like I listen to Lily complain in the dorms. It’s hard to miss. She says he's quite…’
‘Stubborn?’
‘We’ll go with that.’ She quickly agreed, not wanting to rat out her friend.
‘Hey so this means you finally have to talk to me outside of our house.’ Sirius teased.
Y/N grinned at him and retorted, ‘I’m not sharing my food with you here at home Sirius, we get plenty to eat here.’
They shared a smile. Knowing they had each other's backs even without constant catch ups was a good feeling. The unspoken bond they shared wasn’t obvious to outsiders, but Sirius and Y/N knew, and that was enough.
‘So, the assignment. We’re describing how to brew the potion, all the ingredients and for extra credit, we can list out the dangers of the potion such as the errors.’
Sirius sighed, ‘I’m not really good with the-’
‘You’re good at finding information, I’ll handle the writing, you just tell me the information and I’ll make it sound good!’ Y/N nodded excitedly.
‘What do you mean?’ Sirius stared blankly at the girl, completely unconvinced.
‘You always know where, how and who to prank! It's the same thing!’
‘It’s completely different.’ Sirius deadpanned.
‘Where did you learn the hair changing spell?’ Y/N crossed her arms.
‘In a transfiguration textbook. I was putting the books back in the library after Remus and oh-’ Sirius nodded slowly as he came to realise what the girl meant by being “good”.
‘See?’ Y/N smiled at him brilliantly, seeming proud of his (apparent) talent.
‘Y’know, this is nice, why don’t we do this more often.’
‘I don’t do-’
‘Crowds, yeah I know, and at the house, we’re too emotionally exhausted to talk.’
They both let out a heavy sigh before chuckling at their shared experience. Comfortable silences were rare, but with each other, the cousins were able to revel in each other's company. A truly unique connection formed by trauma. 'At least something good came out of it?' They had mused.
As the rest of the class chattered away, discussing the project or just gossiping, Y/N and Sirius decided to meet up after dinner that night and every wednesday. The pair knew they had Defence Against the Dark Arts next. Sirius offered to walk with her to class, to which she accepted gratefully, mentioning Lily and Alice would probably also be with her.
As the class began to filter out, Lily and Alice had walked over to Y/N to wait for her.
‘You’ve got DADA next, with us right?’ Alice beamed.
Y/N nodded, somewhat feeling excited to have people to walk to class with. Being with three people wouldn't be a crowd!
‘There's a new teacher this year!’ Lily supplied this new information.
‘Again?’ Y/N wrinkled her nose. It was rather strange actually, ever since professor Merrythought had retired, it seemed as if every Defence teacher had resigned after a year.
A rather strange situation, but, none of her concern.
‘Who is it?’ She asked as a passing question, not overly invested in the answer.
‘Some guy named Knittingley.’ Remus piped up from behind them, startling Y/N into almost dropping her books.
‘Sorry love,’ he grinned sheepishly, ‘you alright?’
‘Ah, you down right scared the poor thing, Remus. Now she won't ever talk to us again.’ Sirius whined before breaking into a cheeky smirk, waggling his eyebrows up and down.
Y/N considered throwing something at her relative but then decided it would be too much work and that her books weren’t made for throwing.
‘What’s the hold up?’ James questioned from the doorway, calling out to the group, ‘lets go, Peter’s already gone ahead.’
Suddenly it wasn’t only three people anymore.
Somehow, Y/N had been looped into walking to class with five other people. Technically five was a group, not really a crowd, right? Sirius had swung his arm over Y/N, as if preventing her from running away.
Lily and Alice were in the front, enthusiastically discussing the topics of the next class. They were fervently hoping that their first class wasn’t going to be a revision on Boggarts, as they knew it would be in the curriculum.
Meanwhile, in the back, James was asking Remus about something about mandrake leaves and cycles of the moon.
In the midst of her conversation with Sirius, their formation, Y/N noticed. It seemed like almost a barrier against other students? Y/N internally shook her head. Most likely a coincidence, right? Why would it be intentional?
Sirius was babbling on, about the effects of conditioner on hair and how he found it amusing that James would use one that had a charm to make his hair extra bouncy. Y/N had stiffened a chuckle at this while James whined as he heard this and protested that he needed the extra shine and bounce.
‘It makes me look nice!’
To which Y/N nodded along, looking at Sirius, not noticing that James had beamed when she seemingly agreed. Remus looked on with a rather pleased smile, his nose scrunching. He had always wanted to befriend the shy girl. Now that she had somehow mustered up the courage (been practically physically restrained) to keep up with their group. He, along with the rest of the group, was excited to witness this side of the girl they had never seen before.
Unbeknownst to Y/N, her fifth year would be the true beginning of her life at Hogwarts.
---------------------------------------------
AND THATS CHAPTER 1 DONE! Lucky for you guys (all like 7 of you) I have the ENTIRE story planned out! All there is, is for me to flesh it out! Please like or comment if you'd like another part! (if not I'll still probably post it, I'm too excited about this!) This isn't inline with my Pethryn story line and I have taken some liberties! I'm sorry again if you don't particularly like this! We will be delving into Remus being a werewolf, the Marauders map and fleshing out Regulus and Snape's characters! (possibly Peter as well. I kinda hate that guy 🤬) ALSO YES THE TITLE IS LOOSELY INSPIRED BY THE HUNGER GAMES!
edit-
Okay, I changed my mind, I want this to be a long form fic- THIS IS NOW JUST THE TEASER
Real or Not Real?
Chapter 1
Pairing: James Potter X reader, Sirius Black X reader (platonic) Remus X Reader Platonic.
Word count: 7.3k
Warning: Slow burn!
Series list
Autumn in the Scottish Highlands was, in itself, a reason to attend Hogwarts. Blue September skies, speckled with wispy clouds. The falling bronze leaves and the red hued sunsets.
This was no less than a second home to most students. A safe haven if you will. It was good to be going home.
She had grown up with Sirius and Regulus so her regular residence wasn't much of a home. Her parents Ignatius and Lucretia (Black) Prewett had left her to Orion and Walburga often so they could travel around France. No one actually knew where they would be or for how long they would travel. Only that they were always gone for indefinite amounts of time. They never sent letters, maybe an odd postcard or two. Y/N kept them hidden in a drawer in her room. (Call her sentimental if you will.) The terrible house of Black had adored her until she was sorted into Gryffindor along with Sirius. After that, they were both called blood traitors and treated as such. However, being someone else’s child, they treated her with less disdain than Sirius. That being said, they weren't the kindest of people, if at all.
Y/N would bring Sirius half her food when he would get sent to his room early without dinner. (which was quite often.) Sneaking things in her long sleeves and pockets whenever she could. Strangely, Kreacher had caught her once, but he said absolutely nothing and pretended that he saw nothing. (She would not forget this kindness.)
Things only escalated when they reached now, their fifth year. Y/N always took her yelling's, occasional threats, and hexes in silence whereas Sirius would fight back. In a way, she admired him for his bravery, knowing that he possessed the strength that she lacked. Whereas, his admiration for her resided in her refusal to back down, cry or beg. They had a mutual respect for one another. On another hand, she was somewhat envious of Regulus, he was apparently the perfect child who was, (seemingly) loved.
That was until she started to notice the bags under his eyes at the beginning of this year. She hadn’t really had the chance to talk to him, between Walburga’s looming presence and by the younger boy’s being sorted into Slytherin. However, she had the feeling he wasn’t exactly taking up his family ideals to heart.
Ever since fifth year began, Y/N and Sirius would never again call 12 Grimmauld Place home.
~
Y/N kicked her feet rhythmically, leaning her head on Lily Evans' shoulder. Their Hogwarts express compartment was filled with chatter, a welcome distraction from her thoughts. Somehow, over the past four years, she had been adopted into the Gryffindor group of girls in her dormitory. Lily, Alice, Marlene, and Dorcas. They had patiently and painstakingly, coaxed the girl out of her shell. Y/N was truly grateful for their friendship. In the beginning she couldn't help feeling that their kindness was based on pity. That had made it hard for her to trust them. Meaning, that before fifth year, she had never really interacted with them outside of the Gryffindor house dorms.
Marlene and Dorcras were pelting question after question at Alice, wanting to know the details of her crush on Frank Longbottom. Ever the curious couple, Y/N felt slightly glad that she wasn’t on the receiving end of their questions.
‘You’ll be “Alice Longbottom” one day.’ Y/N grinned teasingly at the girl with the pixie cut.
Alice laughed before shrugging good naturedly, 'We’ll see. Frank is awfully shy. I might have to be the one initiating everything.’
Marlene cut in with her arm around Dorcas, ever a picturesque couple. ‘And Lily’s last name will be “Potter!”’
Y/N stifled a giggle at the comment.
Lily gagged before letting out a sigh, ‘It’s not that Potter isn’t just a complete tool. I’m also just not into men.’
Y/N shrugged. ‘Yeah, you keep making eyes at Emmeline Vance during charms. It’s actually kind of sickening how adorable your pining face is.’
Lily flicked Y/N’s nose. ‘When are you going to start hanging out with us outside the dorms? All you do is go to the library or hide in the kitchens and bake while chatting with the elves.’
Dorcas pouted, adding, ‘You don't even sit with us during class!’
Y/N winced while casting her eyes down. Another thing, she really didn’t like drawing attention to herself or loud noises. Loud noises or attention usually lead to shouting and maybe a raised hand back at Grimmauld Place. They usually caused an unpleasant reaction out of the girl.
‘I can’t do crowds, I really am sorry. It’s not that I don't want to, you’re all lovely but-’
‘That's alright, you take your time love. You'll come talk to the rest of us when you're ready.’ Alice gently reassured her, patting the girl beside her on the arm.
Y/N smiled gratefully. The girls weren’t at all pushy about getting Y/N to hang out with them. However, they did always ask. They wanted her to feel and be included. None of them ever took a rejection personally. It was what made Y/N lower her walls all the more.
Lily ruffled Y/N’s hair affectionately. The rest of the girls continued their chat whilst the introverted girl stared out the window, still leaning on Lily’s shoulder, taking in the view and enjoying the company. The dark pine trees that littered the lands surrounding all the lochs that glittered in the rare sunlight. She let out a soft sigh, allowing herself to relax, just for that moment.
~
The hustle and bustle of the students, all ecstatic to see each other again made Y/N giddy. She had, however, skipped the feast, opting to go say hello to all the elves who had finished preparing the feast. She particularly enjoyed Wigby’s desserts. (He was admittedly her favourite house elf.) He made the best sweets which led to Y/N learning all her baking skills from the friendly house elf.
The halls were electric with energy, almost tangible. This year Y/N and her friends were to be taking their O.W.L exams. To be honest, she was completely ready, having already studied up to the N.E.W.T level of all her subjects. Studying and reading at Hogwarts was her escape, truly. She padded into the first class, Potions. She slipped into the seat next to Lily, quickly giving the red haired girl a gentle squeeze on her hand and flashing a smile at the rest of the girls who greeted her enthusiastically. They had convinced her to sit with them during classes this year instead of her usual spot at the back away from prying eyes.
As they continued their conversation, Y/N unpacked her quill, and parchment while waiting for the lesson to start. As she doodled a small picture of a cauldron, a cocky voice crooned out. ‘Ah, my sweet flower, how I’ve missed- Who are you and why are you in my seat?’ James Potter (Lily’s self proclaimed “sweetheart”) word vomited at the poor girl.
Y/N gripped the desk tightly, her knuckles turning white. Confrontation, how lovely. As much of an amusing topic of complaint he was that she had heard from conversation with the girls. She wasn't sure of his thoughts of her. What if he thought she was a complete weirdo? She found a spot on the table and stared at it with the utmost concentration, unable to bring her eyes to meet the owner of the voice. Lily, also ignored the voice. Instead opting to cover Y/N’s hand with her own, continuing her conversation with Marlene, and Dorcas about the importance of studying for their O.W.L’s
‘Ah, you’ll survive the lesson James, come on,’ a voice drawled, waving James away. A voice which Y/N immediately recognised as belonging to Sirius.
Y/N looked up and turned around, wanting to meet Sirius’s eyes to mouth a, “Thank you” but her eyes met hazel ones instead.
‘Oh.’ James mumbled with wide eyes. He was standing right behind her, not having moved back to his actual “spot”.
Y/N’s eyes darted away immediately before finding Sirius’s. His eyebrows were raised with mirth and he smiled, shrugging his shoulders. She flashed him a small smile before turning around, basically ignoring James Potter. This was new. People didn't usually ignore him. They would at least acknowledge him, but to be completely silent? James was puzzled. Had he offended her in some way before?
‘Mr Potter, I trust you will be able to find your seat?’ Professor Slughorn called out, striding into the classroom, his large belly preceding him through the door. He was Y/N's favourite professor. He was kind to Lily and Y/N. (Probably due to their prowess in potions but nonetheless!)
‘Yes sir.’ James sat down without protest, his gaze lingering on the unfamiliar girl before his thoughts were interrupted by Professor Slughorn. He hadn’t noticed her before. How had he not noticed someone for four years? He was always making friends with people.
‘Today, we will be assigning our first assignment of the year. An essay on polyjuice potion. Four weeks sounds like ample time does it not?’
As the professor announced their first assignment. James couldn't help but notice how Y/N avoided looking in any direction that wasn't the front or her notes. He leaned in close to Sirius, whispering just loud enough for him to hear amongst the groans of the class,
‘What's her deal?’ He asked, glancing at Y/N again.
Y/N dutifully jotted down the specifics of the assignment, (unbeknownst to her) under James’s gaze. She allowed Lily to periodically glance at her notes. She whispered something into Lily’s ear to which the redhead smiled at her and nodded.
‘What are they whispering about?’ James nudged Sirius again.
‘Y/N probably asked if Lily wanted to pair up.’ Remus interrupted. ‘She is rather shy.’ As Sirius shot James a look for nudging him repeatedly.
‘You know her?’ James gaped at the sandy haired boy.
‘James, Y/N has been in our classes since first year. She just doesn’t really talk.’
‘Besides, you’re too busy pining over your “Lilypad” to really notice any other women.’ Sirius mused with his arms crossed, feeling slightly protective of his little cousin.
‘And how do you know her?’ James retorted. Ignoring Sirius's quip, however true it could have been.
‘She’s my cousin.’
‘Huh.’ Remus blinked.
‘You didn't know that?’ James glanced at Remus ‘I thought you knew her?’
‘No, I just know she’s practically topping almost every class, she doesn’t really speak to-’
‘Now boys, would you like to share your conversation with the rest of Gryffindor and Slytherin?’ Slughorn called out to the boys, his large walrus moustache twitched above his lip, the man seemingly amused by their chattering.
‘No sir.’ Remus replied evenly.
‘Well then! I shall announce the pairings for the assignment!’ He smiled merrily, ignoring the cries of protest from the rest of the class.
Y/N’s face paled and she whipped her head to look at Lily. Usually they were paired off in their seats, not randomly. Y/N had truly enjoyed his classes up till now but this? Suddenly Slughorn was rapidly losing his status as favourite professor.
Lily looked at her worriedly, “Lets just hear who you have to pair with. If it's someone obnoxious, we’ll go speak to the professor or I’ll swap with you.”
Y/N’s heart swelled with emotion at her friend's empathy.
‘I couldn’t ask that of you Lily.’ Y/N whispered, misty-eyed. Kindness was a luxury that Y/N had so often been not able to afford for so long. Seeing it up close and displayed just for her, she couldn't help but be slightly overwhelmed.
‘It’s okay, I’m the one who offered.’ Lily patted her arm, reassuring the fidgety girl.
‘If I could marry you Lily Evans, I would do it in a heartbeat.’ Y/N tugged at Lily’s sleeve, looking down bashfully.
‘Now if only you were into women.’ Lily grinned, squishing Y/N’s cheeks with her hands gently. ‘What a treat you would be.’
‘Lily!’ The shy girl pouted, batting away the other girl's hands playfully.
‘Ms Mckinnon, and Ms Meadowes,’ To which the couple let out a happy cheer.
‘James Potter, and Lily Evans,’ Lily slumped over immediately, letting her head rest onto the desk with a quite audible Thwump! To which Y/N giggled, at her sudden change in demeanour.
James was completely caught off guard when Professor Slughorn announced his partner for the assignment. He had been so preoccupied with the revelation of Y/N being related to Sirius and trying to figure her out that he hadn’t even been paying attention to the teacher. He couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at Lily’s exaggerated head bang onto the desk after hearing her own partner. Before he could think of a witty comeback, he heard the next pairing.
‘Sirius Black, and Y/N Prewett.’ Y/N perked up, looking at Lily with bright eyes, shaking her head with a smile. This was one of the people she would be able to work with!
‘Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.’ The two boys subtly high fived. Strangely enough, James wasn’t making a huge fuss over being paired with Lily. Strange enough for even Y/N to take notice, though she refrained from commenting.
Remus took a side glance at James, he wasn't sure if he would regret asking his friend his question.
‘You're not ecstatic over being paired with Lily?’ Remus questioned.
‘I am, I just...’ James shook his head. At this point, he knew Lily wasn't into him. In fact, he wasn't even sure she liked men. He wasn't the only boy in Hogwarts to have ever asked her out. At this point, it was just a long bit and a way to keep other girls from approaching him.
Sirius smirked knowingly. He may have been a lazy student but he sure as hell wasn't stupid. He could tell that after three years of incessant rejections, James had quickly lost his desire to date Lily.
‘Since you all feel the need to cheer at each pairing. I shall leave the list on the board and you can all cheer at the same time. Take this time to move into your pair and discuss your assignment. That'll be all for this lesson. Welcome back students.’ Slughorn's eyes glimmered with amusement, revealing the quip towards the class to be good natured.
The professor sat back down at his seat as the class began to disperse once again into chatter and movement. He generously answered stray questions from the students who wandered to his desk in need of assistance.
Y/N stood up and walked over to Sirius’s desk and nudged his foot with her own. Grabbing his attention soundlessly.
Sirius gave her a genuine smile and shoved James with his shoulder.
‘Go over to your “Lily flower”. I’ve got to discuss the assignment with my partner.’
James blinked owlishly at Y/N, still taking in her very existence.
‘Sorry?’ Y/N whispered, looking at him hesitantly.
‘Quite alright,’ James nodded, standing up to walk towards Lily without his signature smirk.
Y/N sat down with Sirius and smiled shyly before asking, ‘Is Potter alright? I thought he would be thrilled to be up partnered with Lily?’
Sirius blinked, ‘You keep up with this stuff?’
Y/N tilted her head from side to side, ‘Not particularly, more like I listen to Lily complain in the dorms. It’s hard to miss. She says he's quite…’
‘Stubborn?’
‘We’ll go with that.’ She quickly agreed, not wanting to rat out her friend.
‘Hey so this means you finally have to talk to me outside of our house.’ Sirius teased. Honestly, they had never really talked, at Grimmauld Place or at Hogwarts.
Y/N grinned at him and retorted, ‘I’m not sharing my food with you here at home Sirius, we get plenty to eat at here.’
They shared a smile. Knowing they had each other's backs even without constant catch ups was a good feeling. The unspoken bond they shared wasn’t obvious to outsiders, but Sirius and Y/N knew, and that was enough.
‘So, the assignment. We’re describing how to brew the potion, all the ingredients and for extra credit, we can list out the dangers of brewing potion such as the errors and misuse!’
Sirius sighed, ‘I’m not really good with the-’
‘You’re good at finding information, I’ll handle the writing, you just tell me the information and I’ll make it sound good!’ Y/N nodded excitedly.
‘What do you mean?’ Sirius stared blankly at the girl, completely unconvinced.
‘You always know where, how and who to prank! It's the same thing!’
‘It’s completely different.’ Sirius deadpanned.
‘Where did you learn the hair changing spell?’ Y/N crossed her arms.
‘In a transfiguration textbook. I was putting the books back in the library after Remus and oh-’ Sirius nodded slowly as he came to realise what the girl meant by being “good”.
‘See?’ Y/N smiled at him brilliantly, seeming proud of his (apparent) talent.
‘Y’know, this is nice, why don’t we do this more often.’
‘I don’t do-’
‘Crowds, yeah I know, and at the house, we’re too emotionally exhausted to talk.’
They both let out a heavy sigh before chuckling at their shared experience. Comfortable silences were rare, but together, the cousins were able to revel in each other's company. A truly unique connection formed by trauma. 'At least something good came out of it?' They had mused.
As the rest of the class chattered away, discussing the project or gossiping, Y/N and Sirius decided to meet up after dinner that night and every Wednesday. The pair discovered they had Defence Against the Dark Arts next. Sirius offered to walk with her to class, to which she accepted gratefully, mentioning Lily and Alice would probably also be with her.
As the class began to filter out, Lily and Alice had walked over to Y/N to wait for her.
‘You’ve got DADA next, with us right?’ Alice beamed.
Y/N nodded, somewhat feeling excited to have people to walk to class with. Being with three people wouldn't be a crowd!
‘There's a new teacher this year!’ Lily supplied this new information.
‘Again?’ Y/N wrinkled her nose. It was rather odd actually, ever since professor Merrythought had retired, it seemed as if every Defence teacher had resigned after a year.
A rather strange situation, but, none of her concern.
‘Who is it?’ She asked as a passing question, not overly invested in the answer.
‘Some guy named Knittingley.’ Remus piped up from behind them, startling Y/N into almost dropping her books. She scrambled to regain her grip on them, before the culprit himself had taken some of them in his arms.
‘Sorry love,’ he grinned sheepishly, ‘you alright?’ To which she nodded and gave him a forgiving smile. He held onto her books, silently offering to carry them for her.
‘Ah, you down right scared the poor thing, Remus. Now she won't ever talk to us again.’ Sirius whined before breaking into a cheeky smirk, waggling his eyebrows up and down.
Y/N considered throwing something at her relative but then decided it would be too much work and that her books weren’t made for throwing.
‘What’s the hold up?’ James questioned from the doorway, calling out to the group, ‘Lets go, Peter’s already gone ahead.’
Suddenly it wasn’t only three people anymore.
Somehow, Y/N had been looped into walking to class with five other people. Technically five was a group, not really a crowd, right? Sirius had swung his arm over Y/N, as if preventing her from running away. Okay well now it's definitely a group.
Lily and Alice were in the front, enthusiastically discussing the topics of the next class. They were fervently hoping that their first class wasn’t going to be a revision on Boggarts, as they knew it would be in the curriculum. Meanwhile, in the back, James was asking Remus about something about mandrake leaves and cycles of the moon.
In the midst of her conversation with Sirius, their formation, Y/N noticed. It seemed like almost a barrier against other students? Y/N internally shook her head. Most likely a coincidence, right? Why would it be intentional?
Sirius was babbling on, about the effects of conditioner on hair and how he found it amusing that James would use one that had a charm to make his hair extra bouncy. Y/N had stiffened a chuckle at this while James whined as he heard this and protested that he needed the extra shine and bounce.
‘It makes me look nice!’
To which Y/N nodded along, looking at Sirius, not noticing that James had beamed when she seemingly agreed. Remus looked on with a rather pleased smile, his nose scrunching. He had always wanted to befriend the shy girl. Now that she had somehow mustered up the courage (been practically physically restrained) to hang out with their group. He, along with the rest of the group, was excited to witness this side of the girl they had never seen before.
As the entire group arrived at the classroom on the third floor, Y/N’s gaze drew to the sweeping ivory dragon skeleton that hung from the ceiling. This had to be one of her favourite classrooms, just for the dragon. Even as she had grown up in the Wizarding world, there was still an element of wonder that she could never get used to.
While Slughorn was her, (almost former) favourite professor. Defence Against the Dark Arts would have to be her favourite subject. Although she was unable to defend herself at home, here in the classroom, she could learn to defend herself from things in the outside world. An escape from reality.
‘Now now, step lively everyone!’ A low voice announced, from the top of the staircase. A tall, thin, almost elderly man skipped down the steps. His bright pink cloak floating behind him, desperately trying to keep up. He had a pleasant looking face with a well kept beard, one that reminded Y/N of the old white haired wizards from fairy tales. His clothes were flashy. A nice cream coloured suit under his cloak, decorated with white stars that shimmered with his movement. He looked rather spry for his age.
‘Welcome to Defence Against the Dark Arts students,’ he gave a small bow, ‘Now, I trust all of you have noticed the shaking closet?’
To which most of the students nodded. It was reflective, periodically clattering, rattling. As if something was trying desperately to escape.
Lily and Alice quickly paled.
‘Well then, quickly, let’s all make a line,’ The man called out, causing the students to scramble to try and position themselves to be nearest to the back.
Lily and Alice were frozen still, not only shocked that their predictions had been correct. But also they remembered their rather tormenting experience in third year with boggarts. It was obvious to say that they did not want to be facing this creature again.
With a sudden burst of courage and empathy, Y/N took both the girls hands and led them to stand behind her, not realising that she was now at the front of the line.
‘Wait-’
‘Ah, we have a brave volunteer! Step forward Ms…?’
‘Y/N Prewett..’ she replied hoarsely, suddenly extremely aware of her tongue.
As she nervously stared at the reflective closet, Professor Knittingley peered at her through his round spectacles. (They reminded Y/N of Professor McGonagall's own glasses.)
‘When facing a boggart, the spell that we use for the incantation is called, “Riddikulus.” Now, without wands, come on, all together!’
The class repeated after the Professor with unsure voices. Y/N hesitantly mumbled out the word in time of the class. She wasn’t worried about what the boggart would turn into. No In fact, the girl had a very good idea who it would turn into. Her only worry was what her friends would think. Would they laugh at her? Would Sirius be offended?
Y/N’s spiral was quickly cut off by Lily’s comforting hand on her back and Alice’s hand squeeze.
‘Yes and the thing that finishes off a Boggart most is laughter!’ The professor bounced, seemingly excited to see his students fend off their worst nightmares. He waved Y/N forward and whispered in her ear.
‘What do you fear the most Ms Prewett?’ His question was immediately answered with,
‘My aunt.’
Professor Knittingley’s eyes flashed with sympathy. It wasn't unknown that she was staying with Walburga and Orion. Actually, most of the teachers knew, which was why they rarely if ever picked her to speak in class. The reputation and beliefs of the Black family was quite well known within the wizarding world.
‘Well, I want you to,’ he wiggled his bushy eyebrows, 'picture her with a beard, and wearing my clothes. White stars and all!’ His eyes were glittering with amusement, as he stepped back. Y/N gave him a panicked glance as he backed away from her.
‘Wand at the ready!’ He encouraged her. ‘When I open this door, you shall repeat the incantation and turn your boggart into,’ he whipped around to face his students, ‘something funny!’
The professor flicked his wand, opening the closet to reveal darkness. For a second, Y/N was filled with false hope, maybe the closet had been empty.
She was wrong.
A pale boney hand reached out, gripping the side of the door.
‘Steady.’ The professor called out, ready to jump in if things went awry.
The slightly trembling girl gripped her wand tightly, waiting for the creature to fully reveal itself. The hand led to an arm, a torso and then the severe face of Walburga Black. The rest of the class was silent, watching the girl in the front of the line. Each student felt sorry for the girl but none were willing (or able) to take her place.
Y/N took a short, sharp breath as the boggart, now in the shape of her aunt, took its steps out of the closet. Y/N steeled herself, lifted her wand and shouted, ‘Riddikulus!’ Picturing her least favourite aunt in her new professor’s clothes.
With a whip cracking sound, the woman in front of her instantaneously grew a stringy beard, her clothes now morphed to match the Defence teacher. Y/N let out a small relieved giggle as the creature looked around confusedly in its pink star spangled clothing. The mood of the classroom seemed to have considerably lightened as excited whispers and laughter broke out.
‘That's it! Let’s keep the line moving!’ The cheery professor gestured for the line to keep moving.
One by one, the students moved through the line. Each defeating their own fears, Sirius’s being himself, in Slytherin robes. Lily was a young girl, black hair, and shrewd eyes.
Remus was coming to the front of the line until the chiming of a clock rang from the front of the classroom. Saved by the bell, or in this case, alarm clock.
‘I’m afraid that is all we will have time for today!’ Professor Knittingley clapped his hands together. ‘I shall see you all next lesson where we will be learning the Human-presence-revealing Spell!’
As the class trickled out, Sirius and Lily dashed towards Y/N.
‘I’m so sorry you had to go first.’ Lily’s apology was hurried, grasping Y/N’s face to check if she was alright.
‘Let her go Evans, it's not like the Boggart had a wand.’ Sirius laughed before turning to Y/N and giving her a great hug.
‘You were so brave. One day, you’ll be able to stand up to that old bat.’ He whispered, voice full of pride.
Y/N relaxed, realising that Sirius did not think any less of her for having his mother as her boggart. In fact, he was more worried about whether or not his cousin would be able to handle her own.
James and Remus followed suit, both giving Y/N a pat on the head whilst Alice looped her arm around Y/N’s, leading her out of the room.
The rest of the day went rather smoothly. Y/N hadn't encountered any other boggarts or frightening creatures, nor was she called on to speak. As all her classes finished, she had an hour of down time that Sirius and her had decided earlier to appoint as their essay time.
Y/N made her way through the sand stone corridors, making a note that dinner was in an hour and that she should probably go visit the kitchens again. She missed the fragrant smell of baking cookies and icing.
As she lightly stepped into the library, making sure not to alert Madam Prince of her presence. It was easy to find a seat, seeing as it was only the first day back and most people had opted to spend the day reconnecting with friends.
Y/N smiled, she could have the whole desk to herself for once! (at least until Sirius came.)
Placing her books onto the well worn dark oak desks, she walked over to the shelves of books and began her search for a copy of “Book of Potions.” Y/N’s eyes darted along the book's spines, making a swift assessment. It wasn't here. With a great pout, she left the B section (The book was written by potioneer, Zygmunt Budge.) and slumped back over her desk. How had someone beat her to the book? There was no one else from fifth year here apart from herself!
‘Looking for something?’ A low, smooth voice interrupted her mini tantrum.
‘Sirius!’ She looked up, looking startled.
‘Why the tone of surprise?’ He grinned down at her, ‘Did you think I would be late?’ He took a seat next to her, book in hand.
‘No,’ Y/N shook her head, ‘It’s just that,’
‘Mind if I join you?’ Another voice interjected, slightly higher, smoother and calm.
Y/N cocked her head to look at the person behind her cousin. ‘Remus?’
The boy flashed a shy, but pretty smile at Y/N, ‘Y’know I’m surprised you’ve let me an’ James talk to you. I’d expected you to ignore us. Of course, Lily and Sirius talk about you all the time and they’ve only ever had lovely things to say.’ Remus rambled nervously, taking his seat to the left of Y/N while Sirius took the right.
‘That's why James and I were so familiar with you. I hope it didn't make you uncomfortable.’ The boy finally finished, seeming slightly anxious at her response.
‘It’s the same for me,’ Y/N beamed, ‘Lily says you’re quite calm and that I would probably like studying with you.’ She unpacked her quills and continued, ‘I also know you’re about to take my top spot in transfiguration if I’m not careful!’ She teased, letting him know she was perfectly comfortable.
‘That’s my girl.’ Sirius ruffled her hair, exceptionally proud that she was finally talking to people she usually didn’t.
Remus’s ears were flushed red at Y/N’s compliment. It was true that Remus was actually quite talented in spells. But he was sure he wasn’t coming quite as close to first in class as Y/N was making him out to be. Lily had been right, Y/N really was quite loveable.
‘Oh! I also hear that James is an exceptional flyer?’ She hummed, flipping through the potions book that Sirius had given her before. ‘He seems nice, I do like the funny things he does when he moons over Lily.’ Y/N let out a quiet giggle.
‘You have to hear about that quite a bit don’t you.’ Remus laughed, knowing his friend’s unsuccessful attempts to charm the red haired girl.
‘I don’t even think she likes men.’ Sirius mused, to which Y/N raised an eyebrow with a knowing smile.
As they continued to chat, Y/N and Remus had begun on their essays, Peter had joined them at some point. For the first time in a while, she felt safe with people who weren’t her Gryffindor girls. It was a welcome feeling. Secretly, Y/N hoped that this would last until graduation or even further. A fool’s hope really. As they continued to work, Remus had asked her how she was able to write to such a high standard. Y/N simply replied that she referenced fiction, non-fiction and textbooks and used their writing styles to improve her own.
Soon, the small group’s work was interrupted by a sort of,… growling noise. Y/N looked up, meeting Sirius's eyes.
‘Dinner time?’ She whispered, attempting to hold back her laughter and somewhat failing.
‘Yes please!’ he replied, unashamed of his loud complaining stomach.
Making their way to the great hall, Peter led the way while chatting with Sirius about how he wanted to buy some licorice wands on their first visit to Hogsmead. Remus was walking slightly behind her, his shoulder brushing against her back.
‘You’ll sit with us right?’
Y/N’s lips drew into a thin line as she looked at his pleading face. His eyes were wide and brown, sort of akin to a puppy begging for pats. Her resolve was quickly shaken. If it wasn’t obvious now, Y/N had a weakness for pretty things.
‘Yeah but only if I don't have to-’
‘You’ll sit between me and Sirius, or Lily, or one of us. Don’t worry.’ Remus said cheerfully, gently putting his hands on her shoulder. She could have shaken him off if she wanted to, but she found that she rather enjoyed the affection of her new friends.
Approaching the table, James called out from his seat, ‘Oi, I’ve got news, Gryffindor tryouts for the quidditch team are tonight, right after dinner! You lot wanna come watch?’ He said, before spooning some pumpkin soup into his mouth. The rest of the 5th year girls were there, waving at Y/N excitedly.
‘Chew with your mouth shut mate.’ Remus grimaced.
‘Im swallowing. It's just soup.’ James pouted, before spotting Y/N.
‘Hey,’ he patted the empty seat next to him, ‘Come sit!’
His enthusiastic greeting was hard to ignore. She took the seat beside him cautiously, giving Lily a ‘what is going on’ look. Lily nodded encouragingly whilst Dorcas slid a dish containing all her favourite foods over to Y/N.
‘You guys are the best.’ She whispered to the girls, happily picking up a fork and beginning to dig in.
‘Right, Y/N I’m going to be trying out to be a keeper.’ Marlene said with gusto. ‘You’ll come with Lily and the girls to watch me sweep the competition won’t you?’
Y/N made a non committal noise, too busy revelling in the taste of the food that Dorcas had given her.
‘Wait, how come try outs are so early this year?’ Sirius asked, reaching for a drumstick and putting one in Peter’s plate and then grabbing another for his own.
‘Well, I want to get a headstart on the rest of the teams.’ James shrugged. ‘Early bird gets the worm.
‘Merlin's beard James,’ Y/N looked up at the curly haired boy with wide eyes. ‘Are you Quidditch Captain this year?’ Her shyness suddenly forgotten in her surprise.
James flushed slightly at her revelation. Usually he would have taken it straight to his ego but somehow the wide eyed look from Y/N left him feeling rather shy.
‘Yeah, Minnie told me just before my last class so I told her we would hold tryouts tonight.’ He shrugged humbly, somewhat unnaturally. ‘She said would make sure everyone knew by dinner.’
Lily raised her eyebrows. Since when did James Potter know how to take compliments gracefully? She turned to glance at her friend, who was congratulating James on the title and smiled. It seemed as though Y/N was a good influence on him. She turned to Alice and nudged her, nodding her head in Y/N’s direction.
‘Wouldn’t it be great if Y/N was always around? Then we’d not only have our girl with us, James wouldn't be such a cocky prick all the time.’
With that, both witches dissolved into fits of giggles.
~~~
With dinner finishing, Y/N had hesitantly agreed to come watch the Quidditch try-outs. The reason? Lily had promised to stay beside her with Sirius all night. (and promised her a chocolate frog.) The group took the path from the great hall to their portrait hole, expertly navigating the moving stairs. The boys, except James who had to get changed, said they would wait in the common room.
Y/N and the others reached their room and the girls began to scramble for scarves and gloves whilst Marlene got changed into the Quidditch robes.
Y/N looked pointedly into her trunk, she didn’t own a pair of gloves. She had hardly needed them since she never left the castle of her own free will. Sighing, she wrapped a tattered scarf that she had taken from home.
‘Y/N, sweetheart, that isn’t going to be enough.’ Marlene shook her head, pulling on her Quidditch gloves.
‘I don’t have any gloves.’ She pouted, holding out her hands for her friend to see.
‘Y’know what, you can borrow mine, and the next Hogsmead trip, we’ll go buy a pair for you together. What do you think?’ Marlene gently slipped her own gloves onto her friend’s outstretched hands, holding them after she was done. She was heavily anticipating Y/N’s answer, Y/N had never agreed to-
‘I would love to.’ Y/N replied without hesitation, bouncing slightly on the spot.
Dorcas, Lily, and Alice gaped at the girl. Had she just agreed to leave the castle? Twice in a day? After all these years of them trying, it had finally paid off! The girls rushed to envelop Y/N in a hug, tackling her to the ground.
‘Oomph’
‘I can’t believe you said yes!’ A very excited Lily crowed, jumping up and down on the spot.
‘We have to celebrate!’ Dorcas exclaimed, equally as joyful.
‘We will! But first, we have to get to the Quidditch pits! I don’t want Marlene to miss the try outs!’ Y/N ushered the girls out of the common room, flustered from the exchange but jovial nonetheless. She really finally felt ready after four years. She trusted these girls, and even without the addition of the new friends she had made, Y/N knew that she had wanted to make an effort for her friends this year.
As they made their way back to the common room, they were greeted with,
‘There you are! Come on now, we’re going to be late!’ From an impatient James.
‘Are you warm enough?’ Peter asked Y/N, noticing her dishevelled scarf.
‘I think so?’ Y/N looked at the end of her fraying scarf before suddenly it was being unwrapped from her neck.
‘Here, you can borrow mine.’ Sirius instead, coiled his own warm scarf around hers, then reached for James’s and tugged it off him.
‘I’ll just take Jamie's!’ He snickered while James protested.
‘Ah come on, you’ll be flying. You don’t need it!’ He gave Y/N a wink, while ushering everyone out of the portrait hole.
The merry group made their way outside of the castle and onto the path that led to the Quidditch pitch. James and Marlene chatted about the possibilities of their teammates this year. Marlene wasn’t threatened, she vowed that she would out fly everyone (Not James but she wouldn't admit that.)
Y/N and the rest of the Gryffindor group shuffled into a stand to watch, sitting down and discussing the prospects of this year's team.
Now despite never really watching Quidditch or having an interest in the sport. Y/N could tell James was on another level to the other players. When he wasn’t showing off to his friends, he was focused, and driven. Outflying all the others expertly while handling the Quaffle, dodging and weaving between the bludgers aimed at him. Y/N was in awe.
As the sun was setting, the trials had come to an end. James had announced that he would be putting up a list soon and assured that everyone did well. He made his way back to the group where he let out a big breath.
‘Bloody hell I am tired.’ He sat down, practically collapsing. Whilst Lily, Y/N, Dorcas, and Alice were fussing over Marlene. The boys were whooping over James’s successful tryouts. James responded by saying he was sure that his team would win the house cup this year. Y/N looked up at the moon in its waxing gibbous stage. It would be a full moon soon. She wanted to remember this moment for a long time, being with her friends, old and new. Her heart swelled with emotion watching her friends interact with each other. A happy memory, one to cherish.
James and Marlene had ended up packing away the equipment and getting changed in their respective locker rooms. Y/N had been murmuring to the group about how she never really learnt to fly properly. She wrinkled her nose in disapproval, remembering her lessons with the rest of the Gryffindor fifth years. She had hovered for maybe about a foot off the ground and that was it.
‘Yeah, I don’t think flying is for me.’ Y/N said with a grim face.
‘Blimey Y/N, you can’t be friends with the Gryffindor house captain and think that way!’ James trotted over, in his school robes. He was grinning cheekily, something Y/N would in time learnt meant James Potter had an idea.
‘James! You were amazing! You and Marlene absolutely blew everyone away!’ Y/N exclaimed, half truthfully and half hoping he would forget what she had just said. To be honest, Y/N had always wondered what it would feel like to fly. She had heard it was better than apparition.
‘Has anyone ever offered to teach you?’ James asked, while the group trekked back to the castle. The rest of the people pushing up front, talking about maybe getting a late night snack.
‘Well, Sirius actually hasn’t offered before. We don’t really get that much time to uh,’ Y/N winced at the mention of their house life. ‘We don't really have much time for extracurricular hobbies back, y’know..’ She shrugged, not completely bothered.
‘Well, how about this,’ James ran a few steps in front of Y/N, stopping to face her. ‘If Gryffindor wins the house cup, I’ll teach you to fly!’ His eyes glimmered with eagerness, somehow similar to Remus’s puppy eyes.
‘Aw man. HOW do you guys do the puppy eyes so WELL?!’ Y/N groaned with a smile, rolling her eyes. ‘Alright, IF you win the house cup, I’ll let you teach me to fly and not a moment sooner!’ She teased him, bumping his shoulder as they continued to walk.
As they walked, the group ahead of them had now changed conversations, talking about how glad they were that Y/N was finally opening up to them. They had also decided that the group would be visiting the kitchens for a late night snack.
‘Y’know, you’re friendlier than I thought you’d be.’ James caught up, looking at her with a small grin. He wasn’t sure that she would have accepted the rest of his group if not for Lily and her friends.
‘I’m like this only to my friends. The girls trust you guys so I trust you.’ She gave him a small wavering smile. ‘I’m still nervous but, so far I’ve had no reason to challenge that trust in you!’ She looked down at her feet, making sure she wouldn’t slip on anything. It had gotten significantly darker.
James’s gaze softened, his eyebrows relaxing. ‘You’ll be safe with us Y/N. I promise.’
‘Really?’ Y/N said half teasingly, a sliver of hope slipped through her voice.
‘Really.’ James nudged her with his shoulder. ‘Come on, let's get back before curfew!’ He took Y/N’s hand and bound up the steps to the castle. ‘Last one back has to wash my robes!’
‘EW’ A chorus complained, before chaos ensued. The girls pushed past the boys and ran after Y/N and James, who had already made it to the grand staircase. Cries of betrayal from the boys, who were quickly catching up, rang through the halls as the girls burst into laughter.
‘We’ll get you!’
‘Run!’
‘Nowhere to hide ladies!’
‘Nuh uh!’
Y/N laughed at the sight of her new and old friends scrambling to follow after her. This year was definitely going to be something special.