Scorpio Stellium - Tumblr Posts

Do do know anyone with a Libra Rising? If so what are they like?

My Experience With A Libra Rising

My best friend's boyfriend is a Libra Rising at 20+ degrees with a 1st house stellium ( but the stellium is in scorpio ). He's really cool dude to talk to and hang out with. I known him since 4th grade. However when we were younger I remember when he used to usually try to fit in with the more gossipy and popular kids. And would sometimes do this at the expense of others ( Ex laughing or making fun of someone if the group didn't like said person ).

Like it would be a point and laugh kind of thing to fit in with the group and he used to go over board with it sometimes. But as time passed on ( And he started to develop his ascendant more ) he had grown out of that mindset. Yes, he still flows with the group he's in, but it's in a more natural and chill way that doesn't harm others anymore. And he tries to set boundaries on what is and isn't acceptable for him when interacting with others, and stands up for his beliefs, even if others disagree.

Also My best friend's and his relationship are a big part of his identity, and they're not afraid to show it. He can be corny sometimes with him but he always means well.

A letter to my unrequited love - I

{Confessions of a scorpio moon}

I thought I loved you. It was dangerous. I was intimidated how severely you controlled my mind. I was willing to do anything to please you. To give up my freedom, my studies, my family, my friends, my foundation just to spend time with you. I'd stare at my phone with anxiety crawling up my skin, wondering if you were ignoring me on purpose. You always did it intently. It would drive me mad. I'd be so hurt and pissed knowing you'd read my messages but would never care to reply. I would never understand why I would reply to you in milliseconds when you'd make me wait for hours. Why I'd hurt after hurting you as a form of reactive abuse. I always wanted to soothe your pain, to ease your suffering, to make you feel loved because I saw past your facade. I knew how you'd be the cool guy, the life of the party, the social butterfly who could charm anyone. But I wanted to be the special one who'd lock eyes with you and make you mine. I never felt like I deserved you. I put you on a pedestal and worshipped you like God. I always felt like you were everything that was considered "cool" by the society. People would admire you. They would give in. I did too. You could draw in anyone you liked. You had the game. You could lay eyes on anyone and have them by sweet talking them into your trap. I knew you were playing me. My intuition tried to warn me several times. The red flags seemed dangerous every now and then but being the reckless lover that I am, I thought you'd be the right person to break my heart. Maybe, I expected too much from you. I wanted you to fill the voids I had. I wanted to be consumed by your love. I needed your attention constantly. I wanted to talk to you 24*7 although I never really had much to talk about. I was boring as hell but you, there would always be messages lined up for you. I felt privileged and honoured to receive a reply from you. It validated me. I felt seen. And heard. And appreciated. It was the best feeling ever. I had only been abandoned, discarded and used all my life. Being validated felt magical for a change. It made me want to surrender my life to you. I started living as per your terms. I'd do little things you'd mention in conversations to become your ideal lover in hopes of being noticed by you. But time and again, you'd fail to notice me. As if I was never there. But I was. I was always there for you. Through thick and thin. Right before your eyes.

-R

A Letter to my unrequited love - II

{Confessions of a scorpio moon}

You'd dump your trauma on me and I'd take it all happily, thinking it'd help you feel better, lighter. I thought you deserved to feel the happiest. And I'd easily swap your pain with the rare moments of joy I managed to feel. I stayed up at nights listening to you vent about your failed relationships, madly in love with you, shattering silently on the floor of my bedroom, ignoring my pain and paying heed to yours. You always came first, right? You were so dreamy, how could anyone ever hurt you? It felt absolutely cruel. I wanted to nurse your wounds and it was honestly too late when I realized that I was burning myself all throughout to warm you up. I didn't stop though. Why would I? You were someone I'd never want to lose. You made me feel wanted for a short amount of time. Your scraps of love and attention made me feel like a queen. I felt so loved. It touched my heart. No one ever expressed that kind of love to me before. I didn't even love myself half as much as I loved you. I was trained to be a giver, to cater to everyone else's needs and the same pattern unfolded here. You kept depleting me of the little love I had and I didn't mind it. We both would pour our love into you and I'd watch you bloom. You'd give your love to everyone except me. I wanted to claim a piece of your love. Your time. Your attention. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to go deep into your psyche to understand and explore every bit of you. Everything you did made me fall for you harder and harder. It seemed to me like you enjoyed hurting me. Making me wait. Watching me get jealous. Triggering my childhood wounds. You'd feel cocky and arrogant knowing I was so desperate to talk to you. I'd sacrifice my self-respect and initiate a conversation all the time. You'd play it cool. You were cool. But you were cold. And distant too. You often called me names, insulted me and made me feel like trash. You didn't hesitate to walk all over me or use me like your punchbag. You took your anger out on me and I took the abuse not knowing how to pull myself out of the mess I got into.

I have spent sleepless nights trying to figure out why I wasn't enough. I questioned my worth several times. I never felt like I could match up to you. I could never meet you up there. The more I loved you, the more I began to hate myself. I didn't love myself even half as much as I loved you. It didn't make sense to me. But I didn't care. Until you broke my heart. Brutally. You stabbed my back with a smile on your face. Damn, your smile. It melted my broken heart. I couldn't bring myself to hate you. But I had to. I had to do something about it. I had nothing left. I felt hopeless and powerless. It was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Had it been a little sooner, I wouldn't have to move mountains to heal myself. Maybe it'd come easy.

Thank you for being the braver one among the two of us. One of us had to do it. One of us had to break my heart. Thankyou for leaving me broken. I've built it stronger this time. Don't bother knocking on the door. You're not welcome.

-R

I have 7 Scorpio placements in my Natal Chart and I can sense lies from a mile away. I also have a Taurus stellium which implies that not only do I have zero tolerance for lies, but I also thrive at finding them out. You lie, you die bitch. I don't give second chances to people. Come clean is all I say. Don't try to outsmart me because I know what's up with your lying ass. If I find you lying (which btw, I will) for futile, petty shit, you lose all my respect. And as a consequence, I will cut you off because I don't like an unequal give and take. Don't mess with me because I always know what's up. I see through a web of lies. Kind of a blessing as well as a curse, I'm not complaining though.

Confessions of Scorpio moon 🌙

I am ashamed of myself for doing everything I possibly could do to make you stay. To make you love me. To fight for your attention. Even in those weak moments when I knew that I deserved so much better than a lost soul who didn’t acknowledge how many hearts they were breaking. I knew exactly how cruel and selfish you were. And yet, I decided to stay. I don’t know why. Cause I never believed I could have you. The closest I could get to being a part of your life was by being your punching bag, or a friend you’d text whenever you were bored. I became the entertainment you needed in your life, but to me, you always were a star shining so bright in the sky, I wouldn’t mind freezing to death if it meant I could gaze at you all night. Little did I know, there were many more eyeing you. I probably was the last person in your priority list. Or maybe not that either. I don’t want to know the answer, I think it’ll break my heart. I try to sound rational, but I really let you break my heart a hundred times, did I not? Well, atleast there’s nothing left that can be broken anymore. I think about you so much, it’s crazy how I can’t get a grip on my fucking self. I wonder if you miss me. I know it’s so strange to think about you. I have so many questions to ask, but I’m not sure if my heart wants to know the answers anymore. I tear up whenever I think about you, rather about the love I had for you. I wish I could be a part of your life and didn’t just fade away. I was barely in the background anyway. I know I’ve acted in ugly ways and I hate how low I had stooped to get you to notice me, to pay attention to me and to give me some of your affection. I never understood what I lacked. Did I lack something? I remember you calling me mean and irritating. I have tried my best to overcome those in the last two years. I don’t know why I cared so much about your opinion of me. I remember you calling me problematic. Was I really problematic? Did you know how insecure I felt everytime you spoke about a new fling, or a new crush? I wouldn’t share you even with a fictional character. That’s probably my insecurity speaking but yeah. I don’t get to read your poems anymore. I wish I did. You have the gift of gab. Do you still write poetry? How have you been lately? I don’t want to make any small talk. I miss our deep conversations. I hope you’ve been able to heal. The idea of letting you go still scares me. But I’ve understood through therapy that letting me go is scarier. I wish we didn’t drift apart. I guess, we weren’t meant to be anyway. I cherish everything we had. I am trying to master detachment. Are you holding onto me tightly too? Cause there’s a reason I’m unable to let you go. I will though. Cause you’re gone. I don’t know if we’ll ever meet again. I don’t know if I want to. I don’t know anything. Why has loving you been such a painful experience even though you are so lovable? I hope no one’s hurt you when I was not around. Please protect your heart. You are precious. You deserve to heal. I wish healing onto you. I hope your inner child feels safe with you. If you have landed a job in these past few years, I want to congratulate you. I knew you were built for great things. And oh hey, belated happy birthday to you. I hope you had a blast. I am happy for you. I hope you continue to do amazing things in the future. Lastly, I hope you find the courage to be yourself. Know that you are loved. And ummm….. missed. Yeah, that’s it. Bye.