Sorry For The Rant - Tumblr Posts

I WANT to read NaLu fics but people make them so ooc it's not funny that I quit a long time ago

So I forgot to make another rambling post, we continued our Fairy Tail rewatch. We're part way through grand magic games and the fury I feel at how it was written knows no bounds. Time for a bulleted post.

Warning, I'm going to be angry and really tear into the arc:

The hatred the citizens have for fairy tail is so stupidly convoluted and done just to make the audience root for fairy tail. You're telling me the entire populace hates a guild for just kind of sucking in games and not being that great? When we had the arena hating Rebecca in one piece, it made sense because to the general public, she was from the family that slaughtered citizens and brought terror to the land. In fairy tail it was done to make us care.

Raventail had literally no reason to be competing, and everything surrounding them is contradictory and infuriating. First, it doesn't make sense for them to join a big spectacle of their goal was to get information from guild members. Why wouldn't they just kidnap laxus or one of the other characters to force them into revealing things? Also, them being a dark guild, which we are told aren't sanctioned guilds, and yet Jellal not being allowed to go after them "because of interguild conflict." No, mashima just wanted them to be there. It makes no logical sense for Jellal to be held back on the principle of not stirring guild conflict when Raventail isn't recognized as a guild. Ivan having a much more down low confrontation with Laxus and Makarov would've been so much better than us getting some dumb plotline about how "laxus beats them all because they're just weak" like we get in every single arc. They only exist to give fairy tail a rival to fight and the "cruel guild who doesn't care about it's members and only wants power" is already filled by Sabertooth. What purpose did they serve?

Why would mashima have Flare be sadistic and gleeful if she was only doing what she did to try and save herself? It makes literally no sense for her to act the way she did. It would be one thing if we got any indication in her scenes that her personality was an act put on for Ivan, but we see her laughing and jeering with her guild even when she's not the main focus so why would she be excited if she didn't actually want to do it?

I really hate how no other guild is allowed to be in anyway as strong as fairy tail once our main characters are introduced. It makes fights so insanely boring. We never get actually shown instances of characters getting stronger, the show tells us they did and we have to believe it.

Heaven forbid a woman be allowed to actually win in this show unless she's Erza Scarlet. No girl is allowed to just be a strong fighter in their own right. Lucy gets humiliated and abused constantly during the GMG for no reason other than making the audience hate enemies. Wendy isn't allowed to go into the Cheria fight and properly win or lose (don't even get me started on the forced in red herring of Cheria being evil). Cana can't have her own strength or abilities despite testing to be an S-Class wizard. Apparently none of the mermaid heel women are allowed to actually be strong wizards outside of Kagura because heaven forbid we get actually challenging match ups.

How is it that we supposedly have Lacrima watching the game and judges/guards keeping an eye on things and yet apparently no one notices Raventail cheating? And when someone does notice them he just ignores it? What is even the point of any set up and world building if we throw it out the window just to make conflict work in your story. Mashima forcibly sets up a "Fairy tail vs the world" concept for GMG and it's so stupid and badly done that I don't even get mad at the other characters. I get mad at Mashima.

I'm chosing to ignore the random fanservice fight because it was pointless and so many characters were weirdly written just to put them in skimpy outfits. If I have to think about Asuka being thrown in during the swimsuit one I think I'll go insane. Also just made me disgusted at all the grown men leering at girls they watched grow up. Such as Makarov who consistently calls guild members his children.

Bacchus deciding he wants to force Lisanna and Mirajane to sleep with him if he wins because heaven forbid we get an antagonistic dude who is written as hatable without making him a creep. Heaven forbid women have agency.

Why was Lucy the one to go back in time when we have Levy narrating? I thought Celesital Wizards couldn't go through the gates they make, or at the very least that time gates took so much energy they killed the ones that use them. Even if it wasn't levy I would've preferred a different character coming back through time to warn everyone.

Mashima flopping between Natsu not caring about naked lucy/people to Natsu suddenly wanting to see her naked within the same arc, baffles me.

The way Mashima writes Mavis makes me so uncomfortable. Another grown women with a petite body he infantalizes. This woman was in her 20s when she died and he treats her like a child.

Erza vs 100 monsters is the one good scene in this arc.

TL;DR- I actually thought I'd enjoy this arc because I loved it as a teenager. But I'm so unbelievably angry at everything happening that I actually am having a horrible time.

White privilege... or?

I just need to get this off my chest, not just on my dash as of late but in person I have been accused of having white privilege, which isn't that bad unless you know you've never had it.

Yes I am white, but i belong to the Sámi people, an indigenous people that belongs in Lapland (which is a cultural area that spans from mid Norway and to the Northern part of Norway, Sweden, Finland and parts of North Western Russia) and my people have had it rough. Loss of culture, loss of language, forced Christianity and didn't have voting rights until 1967. And the last decapitation and study of our skulls were in 1852. And still until the 1950's we were looked as lesser beings and worthless.

My culture is very important to me as it doesn't follow christianity but are in the Paganism specrum, where songs are spells sung in the air, drums are played to appease the spirits, and fortunetelling is a huge part in everything we do...

I never got to learn the language of my people, as in the 1990's when i grew up, my part of Norway STILL didn't allow me to learn it, I never got to speak to my Sámi grandparents as they died whilst being refused basic healthcare because they were Sámi...

So yeah I didn't have the so called white privilege, i never got to experience a huge part of my identity until I became an adult, and everywhere I go in Scandinavia, I get reminded by non Sámi people that I am "branded" by my high cheekbones as a "Lapp" (which is like the N word). And is not attractive or part of the normal population, and I get told not to place a curse, or sing the song of your people...

I am gay and a Sámi. I am indeed a minority that still experiences racism in my home country. So to all people of colour, I do know what you go through, and I really hope you get to punch those racists in the face with your knowledge, beauty and general badassery, because you are all those things, and more!

If you get offended, I am not sorry, and if you are curious on how the songs sounds, search for the word "Joik" on youtube or want to listen to an interpretation of it can check the Frozen song: Vuelie

I’ve been crying over this fucking movie

So fucking long.

Like this is really really awesome and I just wanna suggest this to you if you wanna cry your eyes out

people who "believe" that abortion is murder don't actually think that. a quick scenario as to why:

you get close with someone, and are hanging out alone together, no one else around. this person, after hours of talking, looks you dead in the eye, and tells you this, "two years ago, i killed a baby,"

you're immediately afraid, and as quickly as you could, you excuse yourself from the conversation. you get out, and drive away. somewhere safe. maybe call the cops, go over to a loved ones house, feel so anxious and panicky at the reveal. your friend had murdered a child, a helpless infant no less.

now, imagine if that person says to you, "two years ago, i got an abortion," same situation, different meaning.

you might feel bad, compassion, even disgust, but you won't fear for your life. you might support the friend, or have a fall out with them, but you never once are afraid for your safety.

that's the difference. you might say that "abortion is murder", and might legitimately believe it. but deep down, you know it isn't true. because abortion and murder aren't the same.

Hey I am going to rant about something that might seem random

Okay so like I have kinda big hands, but I absolutely hate power tools. I mean like not like a drill press or a saw, I currently can not remember what any tool is called, but specifically like a power screwdriver. The grip for them are slightly too big for my hands, or at least the ones we used in tech for school shows. I don't think people who don't have this problem don't understand the nuisance of having to essentially put your weight above where you are trying to screw something in and then it moves cuz you don't have big enough hands to make it so it doesn't move and it stays in place. I know that I have the strength to do it since I am used to needing to hold heavy things.

Partially related to this, but if I had access to shapeshifting I would make my hands slightly larger. But I mean like seriously this is a problem I only had with a power screwdriver

Rant

I’m so freakin tired so all the bullshit that I have to deal with every single day! Honestly I don’t give a crap, about what you want us to do! Like I have the worst teachers ever and they don’t teach nothing. And it makes me feel like I am nothing, or a worthless object. Like everyone can try to understand but it doesn’t make it better at all.

Words hurt the most

Today I was having a great day.. I got my braces off..and I missed a class.. I wasn’t that happy about missing a class but all was ok. Following getting my braces off I was so happy to smile without things of metal on my teeth. Some ruined smiling for me. Told me my teeth were disgusting and yellow. It brought my level 10 day down to a 6. I tried not to make myself feel to hurt about that. When I got home, I tried to do as much homework as I could. Cause after all I still had things to do. I was being called and called and called to do so many things I barely was able to do one question before I had to go. In frustration I yelled. Because of yelling once I was called a crack head. Because I am stressed I was called a crack head. I shouldn’t have been called that because all I was doing was showing how damn tired I was of homework; and the lack of being taught how to do all the work. I am crushed that that’s what they my think of me. And I’m done trying to please others. When all they done is use me.

Hi Tumblr, Happy Pride.

I hate doing it, but I’m going to rant so TLDR.

I identify as asexual. I’m comfortable and okay with this. It’s what’s true to me and I’m sticking with it.

I recently came out to my new boss and I was very relieved when she knew what I was talking about. Hell, surprised even. However, she pulled all the usual cards in questioning after that. I honestly am not upset with her, I love her so much because she’s been so great and wonderful, but I am upset with the questions that she asked. And deep down I think she was just curious. Her as a person and knowing her they were just innocent in nature. But they’re the same questions that every single person who comes out as ace gets asked and I hate that they seem to have gotten to even her.

“Did you have trauma?”

“Is it a germ thing?”

No. I’m just repulsed, thanks.

But I am I guess also a bit upset with her for seemingly trying to convince me otherwise?

“Well, there are other ways to feel good.”

“Hormones and biology take over after a while in the middle of that.”

And just. Yeah. I guess for some people. But not me. I don’t want to be a in a relationship where sex is the main thing. And I have told myself that if it’s too important for any potential partners of mine, then we would just have to split.

I am a hopeless romantic. I enjoy and adore seeing others madly, deeply, in love. I do. I crave that as well. I do like physical contact like hand holding, kissing, cuddling, hugging. But I don’t want to fuck you and I don’t want you fucking me.

I want to be able to share the same values, help carry each other through burdens, be there for one another and be treated equally. Teamwork is how the dream works. I want to be able to comfortably sit in silence with a partner and admire how a specific wallpaper’s vibe makes us feel and reflect on that, for example. Having the same interests and being supportive of each other would fantastic.

But I know being ace hinders all that a lot. And I have come to terms that if I die alone then it’s my fault. And I’ll live with that. It’s not my ideal way of going out but if it happens it does.

But I still hold hope for all you other aces. I cheer you on and hope you find a partner, if you desire, and you all live and love long happily.

You got this.

"Lets start with some letrozole."

Me: *no response*

"Cool, let's double the dose."

Me: *no response*

"Do it again, and take it with steriods to help get some sort of reaction."

Me: *still nothing*

"Okay, you aren't responding to oral meds so we are going to try injectables that cost thousands of dollars. Let's just start your cycle over and try again. Here's some progesterone, take it for 10 days and call us with your period."

Me: *gets period, calls doctor and makes an appointment for baseline labwork and ultrasound*

"Oh, wait you have a follicle?!?! So, your body responded but it was just a very delayed response. Let's have you take a trigger shot (hCg) and have your husband fuck you and hope for the best."

Me: *does all that shit and makes an appointment for labwork to see if i ovulated*

"Bad news, you didn't ovulate. Instead of just a small poke in your belly, your gonna have to get a bigger needle so you can inject intramuscular to make sure your body is absorbing the medicine. Let's give you progesterone to start you period and we will try all this again."

Me: *starts period the very next day with the heaviest flow and worst cramps I've ever experienced in my life coupled with nausea and sore tits from the hCg shot I took not even a week ago*

It seriously blows my mind that people get pregnant without trying... and for free 😒

The younger days.

Excuse me while i go on a rant. This is one of the apps my family doesn’t have. So i need to rant for a moment and get this out.

When I was a kid, I remember having everyone in my family just go off at me except my papa (grandpa). Whenever my mom got upset at me. To be mindful, I lived with my mom, dad, 2 little brothers, my uncle and my papa. We live with my papa since my mom had her first son. Skipping ahead my mom and i use to butt beads. Which is normal for a mom and daughter to do so. But it would usually be for something i didn’t do, something my brothers did that upset me and the rare moments i did something. So this is how it would work whenever i got in trouble. From first to last this is how it work. My mom would get upset. My dad would say ‘you shouldn’t make your mom upset she does a lot for you and your brothers.’ My uncle would tell me to stop having an attitude and get over myself. My brothers would get off free like they never did anything. I would stay with my papa and he would listen to me. My papa was my safe space but over the years as me and my brothers got older. My brothers started taking up most of my papas time. Which led me to turn to music, which you know what most depressed, anxiety filled teens do. However, to me as school got more stressful and friends started turning into enemies. My parents would just play it off and say your young get over it. Couldn’t talk to my papa because my brothers would run to my parents and they’d tell me to stop going around telling people. When high school hit, i completely shut down around sophomore year. I didn’t care anymore, nothing matter. It felt like no one cared and my life is better off ending. After high school, i started living with my aunt and her family. I started mentally healing and i do have moments where i feel like I’m going to get yelled at. Also being told to stop stressing. I cannot explain how much pain I’ve Cause to people around me because of childhood trauma. I cannot explain or apologize enough to people who I’ve wronged. People have always told me i have a good heart and all i feel is guilt over the years of pain. I started this rant to get off my chest because i just want to heal from my past. But honestly i just think i needed to say this where my family can’t see it. So far I’ve been able to talk to my family. Not too much drama has happened between me and my family.

I love nothing more than to write senes like that. I just have so much fun writing the pain that the character is going through as they fight with reckless abandon, they don’t except or want to make it out the other end of the battle. Why would they? They just lost the only people that ever meant anything to them. Nothing else had mattered more in the world to that character that the people they lost, and now that they’re gone? Well, now they have nothing left to fight for, now they’ll go out in one last final blaze of violent glory.

i love tragic characters who get their whole world ripped out from underneath them and then completely fuck themselves and everyone around them over in the most violent unnecessary ways imaginable

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, wondering about who I am and all that. I think I might be cupioromantic.

Even though I’ve had boyfriends in the past and all that, I’ve never actually had romantic feelings for really any of them. They would ask me out, and I was pretty much like, “alright, bet,” and I think that might’ve just been because I really, really wanted to be with someone. I love the idea of dating someone and having someone hold me and all that mushy romantic stuff, but I’ve never really had a crush on anyone for as long as I can remember. When I was in elementary school, specifically from second to fourth grade, I even used to pretend to have a crush on these guys at my school. Like, pretend in the most obnoxious ways possible because I thought that was normal (haha, autism).

Now that I have this in mind, I feel this sense of clarity mixed in with despair since what this tells me is that I’m never going to experience romantic love. I know I’m not alone in this though, since there’s a bunch of people all over the world like this or experiencing something similar, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I’ll work on accepting that as time goes on though. 👍

PLEASE BLIZZARD

Please add some kind of hero limit I'm sick and tired of playing against 5 bastions all the goddamn time.

:33 < rant

:33 < being a system is just.... so scary. i constantly have mental breakdowns, idont permit "myself" to look at "me" in the mirror, idont know who "i"am because iam not me. its a group of people. it feels so insane, like im not real. people call me by my name in which idont realise iam me or at least supposed to be. ihave so much confusion in life, so much amnesia and unawareness, its crazy. i just want to be freed and alone. we dont particularly like each other either. icant stare at myself normally. i seem to have to have a mental breakdown. ifeel so out of place. so abnormal. the others themselves get scared. we barely know who we are. am i the host ? really ?? did the actual host go dormant years ago ?? i question this daily because it dosent seem like im the actual me more like a fake version, or a figment of the original. a place holder. yea sure, icall myself the original, but am i really ?? maybe buzy knows, but then again buzy also is a little.... much. shes trying to.... well idont really wanna say it so yea. she wouldnt exactly be of much help. maybe all the others named s ? imeannnn theyre kinda the same as buzy. and its not exactly like we talk to eachother. imean yea, our headspace is super boring, but we kinda enjoy being alone and dont talk to eachother so iguess. thats. alright. idont know im probably just gonna stop this

hi i found your blog. you are so cool .. very appreciate care towards all nonhumans & i think it is so so great when people on the internet are Themself . & not hiding . cannot word well .anyway . ... i hope you have an awesome day & feel awesome & have an awesome night too . Cannot off anon out of schizo paranoia. but wish you the best :}

:33 < AWWWW THANK YOUUUU !! <33 ido try express myself a little better on tumblr, especially since i generally find it difficult to interact with general !! ido feel quite comfortable on tumblr though, this place seems nice and cozy :3 and iam so glad alterhumans can express themselves <33 ilove all shapeshifters, plants, animals, characters, beings and monsters, objects and numbers, places, humans and holotheres, nonhumans with millions of kintypes and nonhumans with only one kintype, nonhumans with no kin type, spirituals and psychologicals, and alterhumans who just are !! iLOVE EVERYONES KINTYPES !! also dont worry about wording, am not good at english too its ok :33 ithank yiu so much for this you are TOO SWEET AHHHH !!!1!1! /positive hope YOU have a pawsome day too !! x33 dont worry about the anyan, anytroll can be on anyan for any reason !! no need to sweat it ^_^ wishing you the best toooo <33 (sorry for the late response, was asleep then woke up early and didnt feel like functioning :o/)

:33 < sick and tired of polyamory not being accepted in the lgbtqia2s+ community. come on. it is 2024 and we still cant accept our own community because "oh polyams are just weird straights who date multiple people" NO ?? MY GOODNESS THIS IS THE "aroace isnt valid in the community" ALL OVER AGAIN. WE AS A COMMUNITY DONT HAVE TO EXCLUDE. WE SHOULD INCLUDE. BE TOGETHER AS ONE. UNITY. NO FIGHTING AGAINST LABELS, GENDER, WHAT IS "VALID" AND WHAT ISNT. we spend YEARS fighting for our rights just to exclude LABELS ???! THIS IS NOT WHAT WE FOUGHT FOR. WE HAVE THE FREEDOM TO EXPRESS OURSELVES WITH LABELS, AND YET "reddit_user69" DECIDED "polyam isnt valid cause its actually like a weird version of straights"

B33 < in my eyes polyamory is a valid apart of the community

B33 < and no, idont mean as "cousins" of the community, or being "similar" to it, imean being apart of it.

:33 < if you support lgbtqia2s+ community then actually support it. support your community. "weird" identities. xenogenders. polyams. bipoc queers. disabled queers. gnc trans people. "obscure" and "contradictory" labels. yea youre accepting of the queer community, but are you actually ?? cause youdont sound too sure of it.

B33 < system rant (again, iknow, im sorry)

:33 < iknow i say im a system but in reality, idont even know if im a system. its more of a precaution than a statement. yes, im a system, but am i really ? everyday i feel as though im faking, and even though ihave little notes from when others were fronting, or proof of people interacting with my alters, its so daunting and just makes me feel like im faking. idont always switch. idont have an inner world as iam unable to see one and never will be. we dont have any communication, as we lack the feel/need to talk to eachother, we (most of us) arent friends, and we lack healthy relationships. yea, my trauma made me multiple people, but what if it actually didnt and iwas lying to myself ? its so overwhelming being a system. i worry im faking my system hood and actually just lying, but when i even see that ihave the notes from the others and the headmates talking with the folks iknow, it still just persistently feels like im faking. so yea, im a system. at least, ithink so. isay so. idont know though. take that as a warning, a precaution, a note, not an exact statement. just a little "watch out if idont sound like myself because im a system and my alters might be fronting so thats why iwont sound like myself !!" not a "yea, we're a system and iknow that for a fact !! we're really proud of it, and it is of much importance to us !!" so yea, here we sit. or i. idont know for a fact. am i a system ? am i ? am i really.

Full disclosure this is ranting for the sake of ranting

I am BEGGING zine producers to be more open in communication, the first time I ordered there was RADIO SILENCE for like 4/5 months after preorders ended and I figured “well…. The money went to charity so even if I don’t get my shit I’m fine with that but I’ll never order one again unless it’s one VERY SPECIFIC THING this is ridiculous” and then that very specific thing got made, not only did it get made but it had some of my favorite creators so I caved and figured “alright, it’s for profit this time but there’s a lot of people I’m familiar with who even run their own merch stores so I’m okay with that”

Almost four months since preorders closed and guess what? RADIO. SILENT. No “we started producing the keychains!” “we sent the books to be printed!” “We’re just waiting on a few more submission!” Like this is ridiculous when charging so much??

I’m not saying post everyday and be like “day 23, still waiting on our manufactures!” Just like maybe “hey we got the keychains in today, so we have 7/15 merch items!!” “Books should be ready by next week!” Just give me SOMETHING.