Screaming Meals - Tumblr Posts

No, because I want to share my opinions about this.

It's not a "men being men" problem. In fact, the men and boys around me who were avid F1 fans were so excited when they found out I watch races as well.

So, no. It's not them being men. It's about the disrespect they put on the table and think they can get away with it. It's the fact that you don't read up on the premises you wanted to report about before reporting it. It makes everything seem very ungenuine and seems like they were just hopping on a bandwagon for fame. People are just calling them out because how can you time and time again call yourself an F1 podcast and continue admitting proudly you don't know shit about it and rubbing it on the drivers' faces.

To triggered fans:

Weren't you guys the ones upset and went around yelling at people saying that they don't know shit about racing and only stan and pop starificate drivers? Why are you defending them now? Why are you no upset? Where you actually upset that your drivers are being stanned or has it always been a gender issue? Because these dudes just admitted they don't care about what goes on on the track.

not to alarm anyone but ive triggered the f1 fanboys and i'm scared

"Will Clem be anything other than steamed in Brazil?" Absolutely not, no. Is anyone watching from Brazil, have we got any Brazilians in the chat, and if so could you tell us what time it is in Brazil? […] Three AM, so yes, I would say that Novalak and Armstrong are currently in full flight in Sao Paulo. I'd be very surprised if they're watching the race, I'd be very surprised if they are asleep. I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.

James Harvey Blair on the Japanese GP commentary stream.

Finally caught up with the Screaming Meals Indy GP commentary, so have some highlights:

The fact that they spent the morning with James taking sexy shots of Clem emerging from a pool is just - asaljdgkfdk.

C: Yeah, it’s my backbone, well stiff. Yeah, nah, I’ve been walking around with a little bit of a kink. J: Hardly unlike you on any normal day mate, walking around with a bit of a kink.

C: Obviously Marcus starting off P11. What’s new? J: Prince of P11. Fuck me, if I had a dollar for every time he’s started P11. P11 or P13, he only deals in odd numbers.

J: I can sort of lubricate the process for you. The learning process, take you through that sort of, we’re going to go in pretty hard.

C: Marcus, the biggest dur-brain on the football front, if you could say. J: Not just on the football front. C: Well, no, on plenty of fronts.

J: I tuned into the SidePod earlier this week - the bastard’s wearing my shoes.

J: We were all a little bit - let’s say distracted by the events of the afternoon. C: Bamboozled. J: Yeah. Shitfaced.

J: He’s quite a fit looking young man.

C: Have we got a lot of content to talk about? J: No not particularly mate which is somewhat intimidating for sort of junior commentators like ourselves, but veterans in the sport of talking complete shit  so I’m not feeling too nervous about it.

J: Has [Sting Ray Robb] noticed that the front of his car doesn’t look the same as when he got in it? C: Hey, I’ve made that mistake a couple of times there. (his little giggle kills me)

J: I thought I’d throw that information in there to sound intelligent, but if it turns out to be false then I’ll look like a real dick.

C: I think he’s been dadooshed from behind. J: It’s always difficult when you’re not expecting to be dadooshed from behind.

C: Marcus has picked up 2 spots, he’s now back to P11, and it’s same old same old for Marcus Armstrong.

J: The McLarens all stacked up in reverse order of the team favouritism.

J: [Harvey’s] going to feel like an OnlyFans model at the moment, that car’s going to be doing all sorts of vibrating.

C: Sometimes it do be like that. J: I forget that you’re three years younger than me.

J: We’re officially out of tequila now. C: Shit. That’s no good….jeez you poured a lot in there!

J:  I thought you looked fabulous (about Clem in the swimming pool)

I love how they switch between ripping the absolute shit out of Marcus to being utterly ride or die for him in the race.

C: A chunderous amount of understeer there. J: A chunderous amount? What’s a chunderous amount? Is that a word? C: Yeah. Chundersteer.

J: I’ve been referred to as motorsport’s premier social climber. C: Probably yeah, you could be called a motorsport socialite.

Did Clem genuinely manage to miss the fact there was a live shooter incident next to them in Long Beach omfg. C: Thanks for not telling me about it, ‘cause I would have freaked out.

J: He’s not learned from his mistake, which is on brand for Marcus Armstrong.

C: We’re unlapping! J: Have we unlapped ourselves? (I love that it’s a team effort 😂)

No you took a screenshot of Clem’s crotch.

C: We got friendship bracelets. J: Yeah, they both snapped within a week. C: Which obviously is not really good omen to our relationship. J: I’ve still got the beads.

C: Tell you what, I won’t be walking straight tomorrow. J: What have you got planned??

C: Palou was like well in front, he’s already won this fucking race, I don’t know why we’re still watching. J: Oh, we’ve got a few ponies in this race mate.

J: The indycar graphicing system sucks balls.

C (trying on James’ glasses): I look quite French. J: You are French.

J: I’m going to sell [Herta] into the Parisian sex trade.

J: You know that meme? C: About? J: …yeah, a bit broad, wasn’t it.

J: I’ve ordered two brand spanking new pairs of white chinos for the Monaco Grand Prix weekend. I figured I’d keep one pair in my bag at all times. In case I shit myself.

C: That’s what Marcus is going to end up with. A willy. J: Huh? C: A willy trim. (Prince William’s haircut)

C: Ibiza, great place, I’m going Ibiza. J: Course you are. Scumbag.

C: Sechs, my favourite number.

C: Show us Marcus! I want to see a bit more of Marcus.

J: Careful mate. You’re not allowed to not know who people were any more. (ouch 😆. also that went completely over Clem’s head 😭😆😂)

J: Mr Double-Fister with the celebration.

Screaming Meals - Mexico City Grand Prix commentary - 29.10.2023

absolute domestic on screaming meals commentary

Last night's entire stream was just clem being ill trying to cuase chaos while James was suffering bf flatmate 101, like clems trying to shout and James plotting how to get clem to take meds

Screaming Meals - Abu Dhabi Grand Prix commentary - 26.11.2023 (for @suzie-shooter)

Screaming Meals - Abu Dhabi Grand Prix commentary - 26.11.2023

DAY SEVENTEEN: FLOWER SHOP AU

CLÉMENT NOVALAK

TAG LIST:

@i-wish-this-was-me

@giada-chan

@havaneselover08

@fangirl125reader

@rheathesimp

@strangemaximoff

@scopeiguess

PAI’S WORDS: as usual when it comes to flower stuff, it’s written based on my work and how my shop is ! 🧡 so sorry for the delay, for those not following me on X, I’ve had some rough patches lately and am only now getting better and motivated again 🫶

The day has been particularly exhausting, stubborn customers and complicated arrangements taking all your time and energy, especially since your colleague and dear friend couldn’t come to work today. Your hands cold and raw, your feet aching as much as your back, you’re almost done with the day and with your commands when the bell’s melody resonates inside the shop, indicating the presence of a new customer. Hiding a sigh and putting your best smile on, you lift your head and greet the newcomer, coming face to face with a charming man dressed in a suit.

“- Hi, how can I help you ?

- Hello, I came looking for.. well flowers ?

- Well, you’ve come to the right place, no doubt about it.”

The man in front of you chuckles and sends a sheepish smile your way, his dimples appearing at the same time as a warm feeling in your guts. You tie the bouquet you were making before walking to him, guiding the customer towards all the cut flowers you have and watching as he takes it all in, eyes stopping on some of them.

“- So, what’s the occasion ? A date, maybe ?

- Oh no, none of that. It’s for a friend.

- Sorry for assuming, it’s just that usually, when customers come in dressed as sharp as this, their intentions are pretty clear.

- Trust me, that’s what everyone tells me as well. I mean, being overdressed is not a crime, is it ?

- It surely isn’t. About that friend of yours, do you know their favorite color ? Or a color they often wear, the main color in their home, whatever.

- Um, not really know. Purple, maybe ? She does wear that quite often.

- Alright. And for the budget ? I can work around pretty much anything, but the bouquet will obviously vary in size.

- Oh, well, I don’t really know about that. I don’t buy flowers that often so I’m pretty.. clueless about prices.

- It’s fine ! We can choose flowers and foliages together and I’ll tell you the price as we go ?

- Yes, perfect, thanks !”

His dimples appears once again as he sends you a grateful smile, letting you guide him through the flowers.

“- As for now, the only purple flowers we have are clematis, aster and iris. Oh, some hydrangeas too, and gerberas. We can mix them with white and pink flowers for a softer, more feminine look, or use orange and yellow to create bright contrast, that depends on what you’re looking for. It’s for a friend, right ? Is there any special occasion ? A celebration, a birthday ?

- Actually, it’s not really a friend. I mean, she’s not a friend of mine, not really I guess. See, we have an.. emission, a podcast, with two of my friends, and she’s invited today. So I know her and, well, appreciate her, but it’s.. like a work context ?”

You giggle softly at the obvious fluster taking over him, watch as he stumbles on his words and frown as he wonders about the situation. Your gaze falls towards the racks of flowers as you listen to him explain what he knows about the woman, Lissie as you’ve learned, and her job and known passions. She seems lively and passionate about what she’s doing, as much as the man in front of you is at least, so you carefully pluck a yellow Calla Lily, putting it next to the clematis in your hand.

“- So, what we can do is have some strong flowers, like the yellow calla lily here, and build around them with simpler, smaller purple flowers like the clematis here. Calla Lilies stand straight and create a lot of volume when well-paired, and clematis create some movement with how they fall. See ? They naturally are more frail and “floaty” and will add color without it being too blunt. I can pair them with some hydrangeas for volume, no more than two or three to not throw the balance off, and some iris. Maybe add some mimosa stems in between to add more yellow.

- That.. seems perfect, really.”

A proud grin falls on your lips as you pluck the flowers you’ll need, creating the bouquet as you go. Foliages are not counted in the price as your shop offers them, something not that uncommon but that still surprises customers not used to it. You decide to go for eucalyptus, giving the bouquet more volume but also more fluidity and lightness, creating a less strict, more simple looking composition. As you go, you never forget to calculate and enunciate the price, making sure to check in with the man in front of you who seems purely in awe as he observes your hands work carefully around the flowers, delicate fingers adorned with little cuts and callouses. You place the last flower where it’s supposed to go, checking on different angles to make sure it’s evenly distributed before showing it off.

“- Ans that’s how it looks, is it what you had in mind ? If not, I can replace some flowers and such, don’t hesitate to tell me.

- No, no it’s really pretty, thank you ! I didn’t even have something as gorgeous as this in mind, to be fair. You have a way with flowers, trust me.”

He compliments you excitedly as you laugh, taking a ribbon out of your apron to tie the creation before making your way to the checkout, followed closely by the young man you find quite interesting. Your hands quickly work as you cut the stems at the same level and wrap the bouquet in yellow colored paper, placing a simple light purple around it and making a bow. All the while, you explain how his friend should take care of the flowers, insisting on the “cutting them every two days” part and a sweet smile grows on your face as you note how meticulous he seems, nodding in a determined way and asking questions about some parts. You staple your shop’s cars on the wrapping paper before handing it to you, your hands brushing his as he oh so carefully takes it and profusely thanks you, making his way towards the exit.

“- Oh, I’m sorry ! But you’ve said you have a podcast, right ? May I know the name ? I don’t know much about cars and, sports in general, but I’d like to learn more.

- Yeah, sure ! It’s called Screaming Meals, and well, my name’s Clement. It was nice meeting you, Y/N.”

You stare at his back as he walks out with a frown and a gaping mouth, only realizing much later, as you’re making dinner, that your name is written on your apron. The podcast accompany your dinner and you shyly subscribe to the channel, grinning as Lissie compliments the bouquet and laughing as Clement brags about it, not missing the soft look in his eyes.

The way James said it with such a straight face just-

this was so out of pocket

*BTS of the first screaming meals episode*

James: Hey, Mate?

Felipe: Yeah?

Clem: Can people breath inside the washing machine?

Felipe: No! Of course not why- WHERE MARCUS!?!?!