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5 More Things That Never Happened to Stephanie Brown
Part two of 5 things that never happened to Stephanie.
1. The Even Number Robins When the doors of her cell blow down and a guy in a red helmet comes in guns blaring, mouth swearing, the first thought that pops up in Steph’s mind isn’t cool entrance or even damn, this guy’s ripped.
She’s not thinking any coherent thought actually, just that she’s never coming back to Japan.
But those thoughts kind of disappeared when the guy stepped in front of her and snorts, “Who the fuck are you?”
And so, the even numbered screw up robins meet.
Her last regret before she dies is that she’s eaten less than a thousand waffles her entire life.
She likes to think she snorts back something smart but to be honest, she’s a little out of it so maybe her account is a little skewed up.
But the basics are there and that’s what matters.
Then he takes her somewhere and gets her healed and tells her to enjoy the couch, he’s taking the bed.
Who says chivalry is dead?
And years later, when she’s calling him, warbling a heeeeeey Jacion and he’s picking up with a sigh and a grunt and plea to have her extracted from his life, she knows that they’ve really formed a bond.
2. Harmony Stephanie remembers when she had a voice.
When she would skip around and laugh and joke and words would fall from her lips like water drops and all gone all gone.
Stephanie remembers when her father took them all away.
Stephanie remembers the fear, Stephanie remembers the smell of beer, Stephanie remembers the jeers.
Stephanie remembers when she had harmony.
Stephanie remembers mute mute mute.
Stephanie remembers ugly and clashing and anger and warring emotions and then.
Stephanie remembers the blue eyed boy who brought so much light into her life, who made her smile like no other, who helped her find harmony again.
When Stephanie finally steps up onto the stage to play her piano piece, her eyes only see Tim.
And when she allows her fingers to gently rest upon the keys and create a flowing melody, she remembers Tim gently encouraging her to keep playing.
When she’s done and breathing heavily and smiling with absolute delight and applause is ringing all around her–
She only sees Tim.
(Years late she’ll sit him down and start playing, placing all her emotions into the song until Tim hugs her and repeats her message back to her ten times over and she leans up and he leans down and she learns another form of harmony.
IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou)
3. Beware the Spoiler Batgirl was hers. But with her legs out of commission, Batgirl is a distant spot in the horizon.
It’s time to move on. It’s time for a new name.
She’s always liked Spoiler.
Years later when she’s ruthlessly hacking into Jason’s phone and Tim’s games and Dick’s laptop and Lex Luthor’s company, she gets a grim feel of delight as countless of people are stumped by the Spoiler.
4. Meet the Family “Are you nervous?” Tim asks her gently, as he guided her up the stairs.
“I’m about to meet my boyfriend’s family, who just happen to be one of the richest families in the world, and could buy my family without blinking an eye. No. I am not nervous. In fact, I am the epitome of not nervous,” Steph rambled, apprehensive. She knew she shouldn’t have gone for the shy boy sitting in the corner, reading.
Tim just laughs and guides her gently in and she pretends that she’s not clinging onto Tim’s hand like a lifeline.
Years later, when she screaming after Damian and chasing after Jason to get her phone back, she wonders how she could have ever been scared of them.
(And when Tim finally kneels on one knee and pulls out a ring, the only answer bursting from her lips is yes yes always.)
5. Hope Shines Bright Stephanie Brown is a dignified ambassador of the Blue Lantern Corp. She does not get angry with a little upstart named Damian makes fun of her chest, she does not throw a car at Sinestro Corp Bruce when he angers her, and her heart does not skip a beat when Green Lantern Tim Drake smiles at her.
(But damn his eyes are so blue and his muscles are just-)
She does not blush when Tim presents her with a flower, she does not get distracted by his mouth when he’s talking, and she does not feel warm inside when he wraps her up in his arms after pulling her out of the way from a life threatening hit.
She does not feel ecstatic when she and Tim are partnered up, her heart does not speed up whenever he tenderly dresses her wounds, she does not feel warm fuzzies remembering that she makes him stronger.
Stephanie is in denial and very much in love.
Soo, I got bored and decided to take this test to see who I ended up with. First I got my boi, Konner Kent! (Wasn't it spelled conner??) I love this child so much! He is just so relaxed and jokes around a lot. Don't think I would date him, but we would be great friends.
I tried again to see if anyone else would be suitable for me. And I got JASON TODD. This 6 foot tall motherf*cker with a body that was chiseled by the Gods. I swear he can crush me with his thighs and I would say 'Thank you'. This man would be a literary genius and have cooking skills that would rival Gordon Ramsay's.
Compared to my potato lookin' butt who can burn microwavable popcorn. I feel like he would just date me in fear of me getting food poisoning, instead of actually liking me. 👍
I finally did it.
https://uquiz.com/u19pWg
the superhero's parallel to the hero's journey is one of an almost unbreakable curse: someone is harmed or killed while you are unable to stop it. you spend the next part of your life learning how to stop exactly that, promising yourself it won't happen again. you think to yourself, "if only I had been more prepared the first time, then I could have stopped it."
except defusing bombs isn't the issue. the person planting them is.
betrayal can't be anticipated: that's what makes it a betrayal.
and it's impossible to predict every single time someone will need life saving medical care.
still, you fantasize, "if I had the knowledge I have now, things would be different." and you save others from the same situation. time and time again. but still you ache. you didn't do it all those years ago. it haunts your every triumph.
it's not until you look in from the outside. the exact same thing happens to someone else this time, and you weren't able to stop it.
as you're beating yourself up for it and desperately trying to control the damage that's been done, you see someone sitting off to the side. they are alone and wrapped in a blanket. when you talk to them, you are shocked to hear that they blame themselves.
"What?!" you exclaim, "it wasn't your responsibility to stop this- you couldn't have known! it's on the shoulders of the perpetrators and people like me, who couldn't make it in time."
they are inconsolable. "from now on," they say, "I won't be so naive, and I will do everything I can to stop this from happening again."
you know when a battle is lost, so all you can do is nod and step away. back to your own business.
but it makes you terribly sad for someone to lose their innocence in such a way. to blame themselves for the consequences of someone else's evil. to never again see the world as a hopeful place: just a mosaic of fulfilled and missed opportunities.
and your story, the hero's story, will be tragic as long as you continue without looking inward.
it is only by considering your own beliefs that you are free of the vicious cycle:
sometimes, there is no happy ending, no clever way out. sometimes, awful things happen and there is nothing we can do about it. all we can do is pick ourselves off the ground, movement by excruciating movement, and hold our heads high. we continue. because it is worth it. not because you can "fix" things now. not because you will do things "right" this time. but because you deserve a good life. a life after the bad things. a joyful life.
this is when when you, the hero, finally realize that you're living a triumph. that even after something tragic happens, your life is not a tragedy.
Omfg this will always be one of my favorite tropes
YJ inspired Jason I stare at you