Secrets Revealed - Tumblr Posts
When the Past Comes Calling, I Can't Breathe
Day 1 Panic Attack, Day 2 Trust Issues, Day 11 Loneliness, Day 13 Team as Family, Day 14 Left for Dead, Day 15 Childhood Trauma, Day 28 Exposure
When an old "friend" of Katsuki's resurfaces, he tries hard to keep that sludge villain incident a secret from his squad. Unfortunately, it's harder said than done.
Class 1-A had been kept inside of UA’s walls for a while, and as soon as they were given the greenlight to finally go out again now that they all had their provisional licenses, Katsuki’s extras roped him into a trip to the arcade. He hadn’t wanted to go with them, but one of the conditions Aizawa-sensei had set was they had to go in groups, and his extras were some of the few in their class that Katsuki could stand, so he was left with little choice. The allure of going outside and not having people stare at him or whisper about him just out of earshot was worth dealing with his extras being overly excited and overdramatic for a little while. They’d gone back to their system of having one person choose their destination, as they had done before the dorm system, and it was Sero’s turn. He’d chosen to go to the arcade, and Katsuki figured at least he’d have some fun wiping the floor with his extras at all the games.
Somehow, the day had actually been going rather smoothly, as they hadn’t gotten kicked out yet, they hadn’t broken anything in their enthusiasm, and the only time they air hockey puck went off of the table, which surprisingly hadn’t been his fault, no one had gotten hurt. Katsuki had actually smiled a couple of times after watching his extras play, and seeing their disappointed faces whenever he won. He really should’ve known better than to trust and let his guard down a little thinking it would just be a simple day with his extras. His life was never that easy anymore.
“Hey, Katsuki. Long time no see.”
Katsuki went completely still, his heart beginning to pound in his chest as a voice he hadn’t heard in months drifted back into his ears.
“Come on, Katsuki, don’t ignore me. We’ve been friends for too long for that.”
Katsuki’s temper flared at that, feeling like he wanted to tear the bastard’s face off, but he tried his best to keep his anger under control. His fists however seemed to have different ideas, and he only noticed he’d been crushing his cup when soda started to spill down his hand.
He took a shaky, deep breath, turned towards the bastard, and said, “I have no idea who you are. Leave me alone.” Then he turned to his extras, who had mercifully been very absorbed in the shooting game they’d been playing, and just muttered, “I’m getting another drink.”
His extras acknowledged him briefly, and he stormed off to the nearest trash can, hoping that the damn bastard would get the hint and leave him alone. But it seemed the bastard was just as stupid as he was in middle school, and followed him.
“Don’t be such an asshole, Katsuki. Just because I didn’t end up going to UA doesn’t mean you can ignore me now.”
Katsuki whirled around, facing Koshinuke, his heart still pounding in his chest from anger and an emotion he was trying to smother with anger. He wanted to scream in this fucker’s face, he wanted to tear his throat out, but he couldn’t, that would draw too much attention, so he just settled on a low growl filled with hatred. “I told you, I don’t know who you are, leave me alone.”
Koshinuke rolled his eyes, and lightly glared at him. “You can’t just pretend you don’t know me, asshole. Come on, we’ve been friends for years, and suddenly when you get into UA, you just block everyone and drop off the face of the planet? Not cool, man.”
Katsuki’s hand clenched even harder on the paper cup, and he threw it into the trash can as hard as he could, some drops of soda still spilling down his hand. “I won’t tell you again, leave me the fuck alone.”
“What? Are you afraid to be seen with me with your big shot UA friends, or something?” Koshinuke asked presumptuously. “You can’t just ignore the past.”
Katsuki’s eyes widened as keeping his temper under control became even harder. Middle school Katsuki probably would’ve blown him up, but he didn’t want to ruin today for his extras, they’d been so restless and antsy being kept inside the dorms all the time. If he used his quirk, they’d get kicked out and he just couldn’t do that to his extras.
“You have no right to bring up the past with me, you selfish bastard.” Katsuki hissed, his voice full of venom. “You ever think I fucking blocked you because I didn’t want to fucking talk to you ever again after what you did to me?”
Koshinuke scoffed. “Seriously, dude, are you still mad about that? That was forever ago.”
“Time makes no goddamn difference, you abandoned me to that thing.” Katsuki growled, some of his emotions leaking into his voice.
“We knew you’d be okay.” Koshinuke dismissed. “You’re Bakugou Katsuki, you can do anything. You always said you could.”
“Don’t throw my own fucking words back in my face, you traitorous bastard!” Katsuki’s heart was beating so loud, everyone in this arcade should’ve been able to hear it, and he didn’t think it was only from righteous anger.
“Ugh, why are you still so mad about that, Katsuki?” Koshinuke sighed as if Katsuki was annoying him. “You’re fine now. You got into UA, you’re becoming a hero, everything you always said you’d do, you did. It’s not like it really did anything to you.”
“That’s not the goddamn point.” Katsuki sneered. “And stop calling me Katsuki, you lost that right a long time ago.”
“Why are you being so sensitive, dude?” Koshinuke groaned. “I swear, you’re sounding like pathetic Deku or something.”
Katsuki had never wanted to punch someone in the face so badly in his life. His body was trembling with anger, his heart was beating out of his chest, and his fingernails were digging into his palms as he tried his best to keep his anger under control.
“ You left me there to die. ” Katsuki whispered out, his voice gravelly and rough as his throat closed as he spoke.
“This guy bothering you, man?” Katsuki was startled to hear Kirishima, but his extras were suddenly behind him, looking mildly upset. They must have finished their game and gone looking for him when he hadn’t returned.
“We’re old friends from middle school.” Koshinuke said, smiling in a way that made Katsuki want to stab him in the eye.
“No we’re not.” Katsuki stated flatly. “And yes, he is bothering me. I told him to leave me alone, get him out of my sight before I blow this whole damn building.”
The words had thankfully come out like an order, but there had been an inflection in his voice he hadn’t wanted. He just hoped his extras chalked it up to him being ridiculously angry.
“You heard him, beat it.” Kaminari said, looking as serious as he could be. In any other situation, Katsuki would’ve found it hilarious. “Kacchan doesn’t want you around.”
“Yeah, leave us alone, dude.” Sero said. “We don’t want any drama, okay?
Koshinuke seemed affronted by his extras. “Katsuki, come on, we’re friends-”
“Don’t make us get the security guard.” Kirishima interrupted, crossing his arms. “Bakugou told you to leave him alone, I suggest you listen this time. Trust me, man, you don’t want this fight.”
Koshinuke looked between his extras, still looking offended, but when all of his extras glared right back, moving closer to him as if to protect him, something they’d started after Kamino, he finally backed off to Katsuki’s relief.
“Fine, whatever, man. Guess you’re still the same asshole you always were.” Koshinuke scoffed, sneering at him. “Hope you all enjoy being an asshole’s lapdog.”
Koshinuke put his hands in his pockets and stormed off. Katsuki was still trembling with anger, but hopefully his heart would calm down soon. He wasn’t sure why it was beating so fast, it didn’t usually, but he hadn’t been this angry since Ground Beta.
“You okay, dude? You seem really upset.” Kirishima said, placing his hand on Katsuki’s shoulder, which he immediately shrugged off.
“I’m fine. The fucker just wouldn’t leave me alone.” Katsuki said, still glaring at the bastard’s back as he walked away. He held up his hand, which was still covered in sticky soda, and he just sighed in annoyance. “Need to fucking wash my hands. I’ll be back.”
Before his extras could say anything, he stalked off the bathroom, trying to hide how his hands were shaking. He ran his hands under the cold water, scrubbing them intensely, and tried to push the interaction out of his mind. His breathing was coming faster and faster, and his heart was beating so hard in his chest it was painful. His wet hands then came to his throat, clawing at it as breathing suddenly became much, much harder than it should be.
Suppressed memories started to break through to his mind’s eye, flashing across his eyes and devastating them with his power. The sight of his shaking hands in the shower as he scrubbed his body raw trying to get rid of the feeling of sludge all over his body, his stomach rolling as he still felt disgusting no matter how hard he scrubbed. The panic that had been caused by the attack, the fires that had started, the way his quirk had turned from a defensive measure into an uncontrollable weapon for the villain. Coughing as much as he was breathing, feeling the villain’s sludge go down his throat, only being allowed to breathe on the villain’s terms. His friends staring in terror at the monstrosity swirling around him, his arm still outstretched as he silently begged for their help. Watching in horror as the people he thought were friends turned around and ran away from him, abandoning him to be at the villain’s mercy, letting his body get swallowed by the darkness he couldn’t escape on his own.
Katsuki crashed to his knees, his soapy hands still clawing at his throat, his heart beating so hard it must be cracking his ribs. Up until that point, Katsuki had never felt so close to death, and now it felt like he was right back there, his body trembling and weakening from the inescapable power of the memories that seemed to be slowly killing him.
“-kugou! Bakugou! Katsuki!” A strange hand grasped his, holding it tightly.
Instinctively, Katsuki’s quirk went off, as if trying to protect himself from a threat he couldn’t recognize. But the hand stayed, unaffected by his explosion, and another hand then cupped his cheek. Again, Katsuki’s hand came to the foreign feeling, setting off another firecracker. Again, the hand didn’t pull away, and Katsuki didn’t know why.
It took a little bit, but eventually Katsuki recognized a red blur, recognizing the color of Kirishima’s hair anywhere. He blinked hard, just now realizing that he was crying and that was why he couldn’t see, trying to focus on the sight of his friend to keep him grounded.
“You can do it, Katsuki, just try to breathe with me, okay?” Kirishima said, pulling Katsuki’s hand to Kirishima’s chest. He breathed in slowly, a soft voice besides them counting to four, and then breathed out as the voice counted to seven.
Breath slowly scraped through Katsuki’s lungs, his body still trembling as he tried his best to focus on his friends. The voice belonged to Mina, who wore the same worried expression that Kirishima did as Katsuki became dizzy from the lack of oxygen.
“Maybe we should call Aizawa-sensei.” He heard Sero whisper to Kirishima. “Or take him to the hospital, he’s not calming down.”
Katsuki whimpered as he shook his head quickly, as the thought of someone else seeing him like this made his skin crawl. He was still gasping for air, but he managed to whisper, “no hospitals.”
“Katsuki, you’re having a panic attack.” Kirishima said, still squeezing his hands. Ah, Kirishima had his quirk activated on his hands, that’s why the explosions hadn’t worked. As much as he didn’t want to be touched right now, he was somewhat glad he hadn’t hurt his friend. “I really think you need to go to the hospital.”
He shook his head again, his stomach twisting painfully, knowing that a trip to the hospital would only lead to negative outcomes. “Please. No hospitals.”
Kirishima bit his lip with his shark teeth, and Katsuki saw the uncertainty in his friends’ faces. The tiny part of his logical mind that wasn’t being drowned out by panic told him he needed to calm down or his friends would take him to the hospital. While the panic was still strong, while his body still trembled, he tried to match the four-seven breathing pattern Kirishima and Mina had shown him. Encouraged by Katsuki’s attempts, Kirishima squeezed his hand again and started breathing deeply again, keeping Katsuki’s hand pressed against his chest.
Katsuki wasn’t sure how long it took, but eventually his breathing finally calmed down to meet the four-seven pattern his friends were giving him. The dizziness that had sent his stomach rolling finally calmed down, and while stray tears were still streaming down his cheeks, he could finally breathe again, letting him think clearly.
“You back with us, Bakugou?” Kirishima’s voice was barely a whisper, as if afraid to set him off again.
Katsuki wanted to shove his friends away, to scream at them to leave him alone, but he didn’t have the strength to. Instead he just nodded, still panting.
“Are you okay, Kacchan?” Kaminari asked, and Katsuki just glared at him. He nodded, grimacing. “Yeah, got it, stupid question, shutting up.”
“Okay, what the hell just happened?” Mina asked, staring at him with her raccoon eyes, emotion shining within them.
“‘Ts nothing.” Katsuki muttered.
“Bullshit, you don’t have panic attacks for nothing.” Kirishima said, and he wondered when his friends had gotten so good at calling him out. “Come on, dude, you gotta tell us what happened. We’re your friends. Did that guy hurt you or something?”
Katsuki shook his head, and thought for a moment. His extras were like dogs with bones, once they were on the trail of something, they never let it go. He hated revealing any weaknesses to anyone, but he supposed they had just talked him down from a panic attack, and they’d want to ‘help’ him. But since he still didn’t want to talk, his still shaking hand felt around for his phone for a moment, and then pulled it out. He searched up the story, as he knew it had made the news, and then held his phone out for them to read.
His friends looked confused, but they took the phone from him. All of his friends crowded around so they could all read the article.
“All Might defeats sludge type villain… hey wait a minute I remember this, it was on the news.” Sero said, staring at the phone with a puzzled expression before his eyes went wide and his voice became incredulous. “Wait a minute, that was you? ”
Katsuki just nodded curtly.
“Oh my god, this is about you? ” Mina said, gesturing to the article. “You were the one that he…”
Katsuki nodded again.
His friends’ faces went white and he looked down at the floor, unable to take the emotions in their eyes. Kirishima squeezed his hand again, disarming his quirk so he just felt his friend’s calloused skin.
“Dude, I’m so sorry- I, I mean,” Kirishima sputtered, “We’re glad you’re okay.”
“Are… you okay?” Kaminari asked hesitantly.
Katsuki nodded again, even if his body was still trembling and the occasional tear still ran down his cheek.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Kirishima said, his voice sounding far too sincere for Katsuki to handle. “We’re your friends, you can tell us stuff like this. We’re here to support you.”
Katsuki glared at Kirishima. “It was none of your business.”
Kirishima winced as if he’d been expecting that answer.
“But… wait a minute.” Sero said. “If this happened because you got attacked by a villain, then… what does that guy have to do with it?”
Katsuki squirmed a little uncomfortably. “Just drop it, okay? This has nothing to do with you. It’s none of your business.”
That got him looks from all of his friends.
“Bakugou, we’re your friends.” Kirishima said. “When some random asshole hurts you, we’re here to help you. We care about you.”
“Besides, it kinda became our business when we needed to talk you down from a panic attack.” Sero said plainly.
“Yeah. So stop being mister stoic and secretive and emotionally repressed for a little bit, okay?” Mina added. “Just talk to us.”
“I’m not emotionally repressed.” Katsuki murmured petulantly.
“Kacchan, you’re the king of being emotionally repressed.” Kaminari deadpanned. “Come on, man. We- we need to know why we need to beat up that guy if we ever see him again.”
That got Katsuki to snort, chuckling a little at his friend’s idiocy. Katsuki took a deep breath and sighed. His stomach was still twisting painfully, but his heart was at least calming a little being surrounded by his friends. There was still a part of him that wanted to scrub his skin raw again, but it was calming down the longer his friends’ spent hovering over him.
“I… was walking home like I always did. Was hanging out with that bastard and another idiot from middle school. We were… taking a shortcut, deciding what to do for the day. We… went into this alleyway, and then this wall of sludge came up from the sewers. Grabs me. And those two fucking cowards… they turned and ran at the first fucking sign of trouble. Left me to deal with it alone. I was fine, of course, All Might was right around the corner, it was nothing, but… I couldn’t forgive them for just leaving me there. Haven’t talked to them since.”
Katsuki kept his eyes on the ground, able to sense his friends’ godawful pity in their eyes without needing to see it. His friends knew him well enough that that last bit of bravado was fake. He could tell by how hard Kirishima was squeezing his hand.
“That’s so horrible.” Mina said, her voice wavering a little. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“I told you, it was nothing!” Katsuki snapped.
“Oh yeah, it was totally nothing.” Sero muttered, rolling his eyes and glaring at him. “It was so nothing that you were sent into a panic attack just by seeing that asshole again.”
Katsuki matched his glare. Sero didn’t back down.
“So we’re totally actually beating them up if we ever see them again, right?” Kaminari asked, breaking the tension a little.
Katsuki breathed out a soft chuckle. “I don’t need you to fight my battles.”
“We’re not saying you need us to fight your battles.” Sero smirked. “We’re just saying that if we ever see those guys again, they’re just gonna accidentally get punched in the face a couple dozen times. No biggie.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Katsuki scoffed quietly.
“Yeah, but trust me, we want to.” Kaminari said with a soft, idiotic smirk. “No one abandons our Kacchan to die and gets away with it.”
Katuki’s eyes went wide, looking at Kaminari in shock. “What… did you just say?”
“Oh um. When- when we were walking over to you after I kicked Sero’s ass-”
There was a soft interruption of “We fucking tied! That last kill didn’t count!”
A beat.
“After I finished kicking Sero’s ass, I um, kinda heard you say that he- that he left you for dead.” Kaminari said, obviously trying to be light despite the subject matter, trying to play it off as if it was nothing. “So yeah, we’re gonna punch those guys, like, a lot. They fucking suck.”
Katsuki flushed red, unaware that his friends had heard that part of the conversation. Fuck. He opened his mouth to dismiss his own words, but he couldn’t come up with anything that would actually work. Fuck.
Kirishima squeezed his hand again. “It’s okay, Bakugou. You don’t have to say anything.”
Kirishima then let go of him and stood up. “I think we should all go home. I’m kinda tired. What about you guys?”
“No.” Katsuki said. “You were all so excited to get out of the dorms for a little while. I’m fine, let’s go back to playing.”
His legs were still shaking a little, but Katsuki managed to get himself up. His friends hovered over him a little, as if waiting to catch him if he fell. Katsuki held his head up, and looked them all in the eye. His friends’ exchanged a couple of worried glances, but they eventually nodded, letting him not be held back by this as he wanted.
“Yeah, sure, man.” Sero said. “I say Kami owes me a rematch from earlier, we fucking tied!”
Katsuki felt a tiny smile grace his lips, and then Kirishima slung an arm around Katsuki’s shoulder. This time, Katsuki let it stay a whole three seconds longer than he usually did.
When the Past Comes Calling, I Can't Breathe
Day 1 Panic Attack, Day 2 Trust Issues, Day 11 Loneliness, Day 13 Team as Family, Day 14 Left for Dead, Day 15 Childhood Trauma, Day 28 Exposure
When an old "friend" of Katsuki's resurfaces, he tries hard to keep that sludge villain incident a secret from his squad. Unfortunately, it's harder said than done.
Class 1-A had been kept inside of UA’s walls for a while, and as soon as they were given the greenlight to finally go out again now that they all had their provisional licenses, Katsuki’s extras roped him into a trip to the arcade. He hadn’t wanted to go with them, but one of the conditions Aizawa-sensei had set was they had to go in groups, and his extras were some of the few in their class that Katsuki could stand, so he was left with little choice. The allure of going outside and not having people stare at him or whisper about him just out of earshot was worth dealing with his extras being overly excited and overdramatic for a little while. They’d gone back to their system of having one person choose their destination, as they had done before the dorm system, and it was Sero’s turn. He’d chosen to go to the arcade, and Katsuki figured at least he’d have some fun wiping the floor with his extras at all the games.
Somehow, the day had actually been going rather smoothly, as they hadn’t gotten kicked out yet, they hadn’t broken anything in their enthusiasm, and the only time they air hockey puck went off of the table, which surprisingly hadn’t been his fault, no one had gotten hurt. Katsuki had actually smiled a couple of times after watching his extras play, and seeing their disappointed faces whenever he won. He really should’ve known better than to trust and let his guard down a little thinking it would just be a simple day with his extras. His life was never that easy anymore.
“Hey, Katsuki. Long time no see.”
Katsuki went completely still, his heart beginning to pound in his chest as a voice he hadn’t heard in months drifted back into his ears.
“Come on, Katsuki, don’t ignore me. We’ve been friends for too long for that.”
Katsuki’s temper flared at that, feeling like he wanted to tear the bastard’s face off, but he tried his best to keep his anger under control. His fists however seemed to have different ideas, and he only noticed he’d been crushing his cup when soda started to spill down his hand.
He took a shaky, deep breath, turned towards the bastard, and said, “I have no idea who you are. Leave me alone.” Then he turned to his extras, who had mercifully been very absorbed in the shooting game they’d been playing, and just muttered, “I’m getting another drink.”
His extras acknowledged him briefly, and he stormed off to the nearest trash can, hoping that the damn bastard would get the hint and leave him alone. But it seemed the bastard was just as stupid as he was in middle school, and followed him.
“Don’t be such an asshole, Katsuki. Just because I didn’t end up going to UA doesn’t mean you can ignore me now.”
Katsuki whirled around, facing Koshinuke, his heart still pounding in his chest from anger and an emotion he was trying to smother with anger. He wanted to scream in this fucker’s face, he wanted to tear his throat out, but he couldn’t, that would draw too much attention, so he just settled on a low growl filled with hatred. “I told you, I don’t know who you are, leave me alone.”
Koshinuke rolled his eyes, and lightly glared at him. “You can’t just pretend you don’t know me, asshole. Come on, we’ve been friends for years, and suddenly when you get into UA, you just block everyone and drop off the face of the planet? Not cool, man.”
Katsuki’s hand clenched even harder on the paper cup, and he threw it into the trash can as hard as he could, some drops of soda still spilling down his hand. “I won’t tell you again, leave me the fuck alone.”
“What? Are you afraid to be seen with me with your big shot UA friends, or something?” Koshinuke asked presumptuously. “You can’t just ignore the past.”
Katsuki’s eyes widened as keeping his temper under control became even harder. Middle school Katsuki probably would’ve blown him up, but he didn’t want to ruin today for his extras, they’d been so restless and antsy being kept inside the dorms all the time. If he used his quirk, they’d get kicked out and he just couldn’t do that to his extras.
“You have no right to bring up the past with me, you selfish bastard.” Katsuki hissed, his voice full of venom. “You ever think I fucking blocked you because I didn’t want to fucking talk to you ever again after what you did to me?”
Koshinuke scoffed. “Seriously, dude, are you still mad about that? That was forever ago.”
“Time makes no goddamn difference, you abandoned me to that thing.” Katsuki growled, some of his emotions leaking into his voice.
“We knew you’d be okay.” Koshinuke dismissed. “You’re Bakugou Katsuki, you can do anything. You always said you could.”
“Don’t throw my own fucking words back in my face, you traitorous bastard!” Katsuki’s heart was beating so loud, everyone in this arcade should’ve been able to hear it, and he didn’t think it was only from righteous anger.
“Ugh, why are you still so mad about that, Katsuki?” Koshinuke sighed as if Katsuki was annoying him. “You’re fine now. You got into UA, you’re becoming a hero, everything you always said you’d do, you did. It’s not like it really did anything to you.”
“That’s not the goddamn point.” Katsuki sneered. “And stop calling me Katsuki, you lost that right a long time ago.”
“Why are you being so sensitive, dude?” Koshinuke groaned. “I swear, you’re sounding like pathetic Deku or something.”
Katsuki had never wanted to punch someone in the face so badly in his life. His body was trembling with anger, his heart was beating out of his chest, and his fingernails were digging into his palms as he tried his best to keep his anger under control.
“ You left me there to die. ” Katsuki whispered out, his voice gravelly and rough as his throat closed as he spoke.
“This guy bothering you, man?” Katsuki was startled to hear Kirishima, but his extras were suddenly behind him, looking mildly upset. They must have finished their game and gone looking for him when he hadn’t returned.
“We’re old friends from middle school.” Koshinuke said, smiling in a way that made Katsuki want to stab him in the eye.
“No we’re not.” Katsuki stated flatly. “And yes, he is bothering me. I told him to leave me alone, get him out of my sight before I blow this whole damn building.”
The words had thankfully come out like an order, but there had been an inflection in his voice he hadn’t wanted. He just hoped his extras chalked it up to him being ridiculously angry.
“You heard him, beat it.” Kaminari said, looking as serious as he could be. In any other situation, Katsuki would’ve found it hilarious. “Kacchan doesn’t want you around.”
“Yeah, leave us alone, dude.” Sero said. “We don’t want any drama, okay?
Koshinuke seemed affronted by his extras. “Katsuki, come on, we’re friends-”
“Don’t make us get the security guard.” Kirishima interrupted, crossing his arms. “Bakugou told you to leave him alone, I suggest you listen this time. Trust me, man, you don’t want this fight.”
Koshinuke looked between his extras, still looking offended, but when all of his extras glared right back, moving closer to him as if to protect him, something they’d started after Kamino, he finally backed off to Katsuki’s relief.
“Fine, whatever, man. Guess you’re still the same asshole you always were.” Koshinuke scoffed, sneering at him. “Hope you all enjoy being an asshole’s lapdog.”
Koshinuke put his hands in his pockets and stormed off. Katsuki was still trembling with anger, but hopefully his heart would calm down soon. He wasn’t sure why it was beating so fast, it didn’t usually, but he hadn’t been this angry since Ground Beta.
“You okay, dude? You seem really upset.” Kirishima said, placing his hand on Katsuki’s shoulder, which he immediately shrugged off.
“I’m fine. The fucker just wouldn’t leave me alone.” Katsuki said, still glaring at the bastard’s back as he walked away. He held up his hand, which was still covered in sticky soda, and he just sighed in annoyance. “Need to fucking wash my hands. I’ll be back.”
Before his extras could say anything, he stalked off the bathroom, trying to hide how his hands were shaking. He ran his hands under the cold water, scrubbing them intensely, and tried to push the interaction out of his mind. His breathing was coming faster and faster, and his heart was beating so hard in his chest it was painful. His wet hands then came to his throat, clawing at it as breathing suddenly became much, much harder than it should be.
Suppressed memories started to break through to his mind’s eye, flashing across his eyes and devastating them with his power. The sight of his shaking hands in the shower as he scrubbed his body raw trying to get rid of the feeling of sludge all over his body, his stomach rolling as he still felt disgusting no matter how hard he scrubbed. The panic that had been caused by the attack, the fires that had started, the way his quirk had turned from a defensive measure into an uncontrollable weapon for the villain. Coughing as much as he was breathing, feeling the villain’s sludge go down his throat, only being allowed to breathe on the villain’s terms. His friends staring in terror at the monstrosity swirling around him, his arm still outstretched as he silently begged for their help. Watching in horror as the people he thought were friends turned around and ran away from him, abandoning him to be at the villain’s mercy, letting his body get swallowed by the darkness he couldn’t escape on his own.
Katsuki crashed to his knees, his soapy hands still clawing at his throat, his heart beating so hard it must be cracking his ribs. Up until that point, Katsuki had never felt so close to death, and now it felt like he was right back there, his body trembling and weakening from the inescapable power of the memories that seemed to be slowly killing him.
“-kugou! Bakugou! Katsuki!” A strange hand grasped his, holding it tightly.
Instinctively, Katsuki’s quirk went off, as if trying to protect himself from a threat he couldn’t recognize. But the hand stayed, unaffected by his explosion, and another hand then cupped his cheek. Again, Katsuki’s hand came to the foreign feeling, setting off another firecracker. Again, the hand didn’t pull away, and Katsuki didn’t know why.
It took a little bit, but eventually Katsuki recognized a red blur, recognizing the color of Kirishima’s hair anywhere. He blinked hard, just now realizing that he was crying and that was why he couldn’t see, trying to focus on the sight of his friend to keep him grounded.
“You can do it, Katsuki, just try to breathe with me, okay?” Kirishima said, pulling Katsuki’s hand to Kirishima’s chest. He breathed in slowly, a soft voice besides them counting to four, and then breathed out as the voice counted to seven.
Breath slowly scraped through Katsuki’s lungs, his body still trembling as he tried his best to focus on his friends. The voice belonged to Mina, who wore the same worried expression that Kirishima did as Katsuki became dizzy from the lack of oxygen.
“Maybe we should call Aizawa-sensei.” He heard Sero whisper to Kirishima. “Or take him to the hospital, he’s not calming down.”
Katsuki whimpered as he shook his head quickly, as the thought of someone else seeing him like this made his skin crawl. He was still gasping for air, but he managed to whisper, “no hospitals.”
“Katsuki, you’re having a panic attack.” Kirishima said, still squeezing his hands. Ah, Kirishima had his quirk activated on his hands, that’s why the explosions hadn’t worked. As much as he didn’t want to be touched right now, he was somewhat glad he hadn’t hurt his friend. “I really think you need to go to the hospital.”
He shook his head again, his stomach twisting painfully, knowing that a trip to the hospital would only lead to negative outcomes. “Please. No hospitals.”
Kirishima bit his lip with his shark teeth, and Katsuki saw the uncertainty in his friends’ faces. The tiny part of his logical mind that wasn’t being drowned out by panic told him he needed to calm down or his friends would take him to the hospital. While the panic was still strong, while his body still trembled, he tried to match the four-seven breathing pattern Kirishima and Mina had shown him. Encouraged by Katsuki’s attempts, Kirishima squeezed his hand again and started breathing deeply again, keeping Katsuki’s hand pressed against his chest.
Katsuki wasn’t sure how long it took, but eventually his breathing finally calmed down to meet the four-seven pattern his friends were giving him. The dizziness that had sent his stomach rolling finally calmed down, and while stray tears were still streaming down his cheeks, he could finally breathe again, letting him think clearly.
“You back with us, Bakugou?” Kirishima’s voice was barely a whisper, as if afraid to set him off again.
Katsuki wanted to shove his friends away, to scream at them to leave him alone, but he didn’t have the strength to. Instead he just nodded, still panting.
“Are you okay, Kacchan?” Kaminari asked, and Katsuki just glared at him. He nodded, grimacing. “Yeah, got it, stupid question, shutting up.”
“Okay, what the hell just happened?” Mina asked, staring at him with her raccoon eyes, emotion shining within them.
“‘Ts nothing.” Katsuki muttered.
“Bullshit, you don’t have panic attacks for nothing.” Kirishima said, and he wondered when his friends had gotten so good at calling him out. “Come on, dude, you gotta tell us what happened. We’re your friends. Did that guy hurt you or something?”
Katsuki shook his head, and thought for a moment. His extras were like dogs with bones, once they were on the trail of something, they never let it go. He hated revealing any weaknesses to anyone, but he supposed they had just talked him down from a panic attack, and they’d want to ‘help’ him. But since he still didn’t want to talk, his still shaking hand felt around for his phone for a moment, and then pulled it out. He searched up the story, as he knew it had made the news, and then held his phone out for them to read.
His friends looked confused, but they took the phone from him. All of his friends crowded around so they could all read the article.
“All Might defeats sludge type villain… hey wait a minute I remember this, it was on the news.” Sero said, staring at the phone with a puzzled expression before his eyes went wide and his voice became incredulous. “Wait a minute, that was you? ”
Katsuki just nodded curtly.
“Oh my god, this is about you? ” Mina said, gesturing to the article. “You were the one that he…”
Katsuki nodded again.
His friends’ faces went white and he looked down at the floor, unable to take the emotions in their eyes. Kirishima squeezed his hand again, disarming his quirk so he just felt his friend’s calloused skin.
“Dude, I’m so sorry- I, I mean,” Kirishima sputtered, “We’re glad you’re okay.”
“Are… you okay?” Kaminari asked hesitantly.
Katsuki nodded again, even if his body was still trembling and the occasional tear still ran down his cheek.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Kirishima said, his voice sounding far too sincere for Katsuki to handle. “We’re your friends, you can tell us stuff like this. We’re here to support you.”
Katsuki glared at Kirishima. “It was none of your business.”
Kirishima winced as if he’d been expecting that answer.
“But… wait a minute.” Sero said. “If this happened because you got attacked by a villain, then… what does that guy have to do with it?”
Katsuki squirmed a little uncomfortably. “Just drop it, okay? This has nothing to do with you. It’s none of your business.”
That got him looks from all of his friends.
“Bakugou, we’re your friends.” Kirishima said. “When some random asshole hurts you, we’re here to help you. We care about you.”
“Besides, it kinda became our business when we needed to talk you down from a panic attack.” Sero said plainly.
“Yeah. So stop being mister stoic and secretive and emotionally repressed for a little bit, okay?” Mina added. “Just talk to us.”
“I’m not emotionally repressed.” Katsuki murmured petulantly.
“Kacchan, you’re the king of being emotionally repressed.” Kaminari deadpanned. “Come on, man. We- we need to know why we need to beat up that guy if we ever see him again.”
That got Katsuki to snort, chuckling a little at his friend’s idiocy. Katsuki took a deep breath and sighed. His stomach was still twisting painfully, but his heart was at least calming a little being surrounded by his friends. There was still a part of him that wanted to scrub his skin raw again, but it was calming down the longer his friends’ spent hovering over him.
“I… was walking home like I always did. Was hanging out with that bastard and another idiot from middle school. We were… taking a shortcut, deciding what to do for the day. We… went into this alleyway, and then this wall of sludge came up from the sewers. Grabs me. And those two fucking cowards… they turned and ran at the first fucking sign of trouble. Left me to deal with it alone. I was fine, of course, All Might was right around the corner, it was nothing, but… I couldn’t forgive them for just leaving me there. Haven’t talked to them since.”
Katsuki kept his eyes on the ground, able to sense his friends’ godawful pity in their eyes without needing to see it. His friends knew him well enough that that last bit of bravado was fake. He could tell by how hard Kirishima was squeezing his hand.
“That’s so horrible.” Mina said, her voice wavering a little. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“I told you, it was nothing!” Katsuki snapped.
“Oh yeah, it was totally nothing.” Sero muttered, rolling his eyes and glaring at him. “It was so nothing that you were sent into a panic attack just by seeing that asshole again.”
Katsuki matched his glare. Sero didn’t back down.
“So we’re totally actually beating them up if we ever see them again, right?” Kaminari asked, breaking the tension a little.
Katsuki breathed out a soft chuckle. “I don’t need you to fight my battles.”
“We’re not saying you need us to fight your battles.” Sero smirked. “We’re just saying that if we ever see those guys again, they’re just gonna accidentally get punched in the face a couple dozen times. No biggie.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Katsuki scoffed quietly.
“Yeah, but trust me, we want to.” Kaminari said with a soft, idiotic smirk. “No one abandons our Kacchan to die and gets away with it.”
Katuki’s eyes went wide, looking at Kaminari in shock. “What… did you just say?”
“Oh um. When- when we were walking over to you after I kicked Sero’s ass-”
There was a soft interruption of “We fucking tied! That last kill didn’t count!”
A beat.
“After I finished kicking Sero’s ass, I um, kinda heard you say that he- that he left you for dead.” Kaminari said, obviously trying to be light despite the subject matter, trying to play it off as if it was nothing. “So yeah, we’re gonna punch those guys, like, a lot. They fucking suck.”
Katsuki flushed red, unaware that his friends had heard that part of the conversation. Fuck. He opened his mouth to dismiss his own words, but he couldn’t come up with anything that would actually work. Fuck.
Kirishima squeezed his hand again. “It’s okay, Bakugou. You don’t have to say anything.”
Kirishima then let go of him and stood up. “I think we should all go home. I’m kinda tired. What about you guys?”
“No.” Katsuki said. “You were all so excited to get out of the dorms for a little while. I’m fine, let’s go back to playing.”
His legs were still shaking a little, but Katsuki managed to get himself up. His friends hovered over him a little, as if waiting to catch him if he fell. Katsuki held his head up, and looked them all in the eye. His friends’ exchanged a couple of worried glances, but they eventually nodded, letting him not be held back by this as he wanted.
“Yeah, sure, man.” Sero said. “I say Kami owes me a rematch from earlier, we fucking tied!”
Katsuki felt a tiny smile grace his lips, and then Kirishima slung an arm around Katsuki’s shoulder. This time, Katsuki let it stay a whole three seconds longer than he usually did.
Febuwhump Day 6: Secrets Revealed
Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug
Lila had her way of finding out everything she needed against her enemies. Today she was after Adrien Agrest. She had already infiltrated the family, becoming an ally of Gabriel Agrest. She had asked to meet the man so she could discuss an idea for a photoshoot. She was there for dirt she could dig up on the mans child.
Natalie walked up to where she sat on the stairs. "Have you seen Adrien?" She asked. Whatever she had to talk to him about, it was important.
"Oh, I think I saw him in the kitchen." She responded. This was perfect. All she had to do now was eastdrop.
Natalie thanked her and walked towards the kitchen. Lila followed with her phone ready to record any evidence she may need.
"Oh hi Natalie" Adrien greeted the women he saw as a mother figure in his life. After all she raised him more then his own father now.
"Hello Adrien." She looked worried as she sat down. "I'v been debating tell you something and I think you have the right to know. You can't tell your father I told you okay?"
"Of course. What's wrong?" Adrien's anxiety rose.
"You are a sentimoster."
"What?" His heart sank "but that can't be possible.
Lila smiled. Perfect.
Natalie dug around in her pocket and pulled out a silver ring. "Here." Adrien held out his hand and Natalie gently rested the ring in his palm.
Natalie began to explain that Gabriel and Emily had made a deal with the man known now as Monarch. He had been in costume so they had no idea who the villain was. Of course this was a lie but for all the hate she had for the boy's father she couldn't tell anyone who he was.
Adrien wanted to scream. Him, a sentimoster? That seemed impossible right. The more he thought about it the more sense it made. That's why he could never say no to his father. He was controlled by him.
Adrien looked at Natalie. Meeting her eyes as he spoke "okay. I understand." Adrien stood up and left the food he had grabbed untouched. Natalie called after him as he left but he just kept walking.
Lila moved from the door before quickly making her way to the stairs she had been sitting on previously. "Is something wrong Adrien?"
"Yeah." The blonde walked pasted Lila and up to his room.
The snake listined to the video she took. Afterwards she posted it and a brief description of how she got the video. The comments were filled with people calling him a monster.
Adrien told his magic companion. Plagg assured him he was still the same Adrien he always had been. Adrien smiled and explained how he could understand that and that he wasn't a monster despite the name of his... species?
"I think I'm gonna sleep off the shock. I'll be fine tomorrow. Get me up if you need anything."
"Gotta."
With that Adrien went to bed.
The next morning was the day his life changed from being loved by all to being feared and hated. He woke up to his alarm blaring as normal. He completed his morning routine and walked out the door before Gabriel or Natalie could talk to him. The bodyguard hadn't heard anything.
The child felt no need to check his phone. No one really texts him other than Nino who will show the memes he sent to Adrien at school anyway.
Walking into the school Adrien felt the air be sucked out of the room. As he walked he felt all eyes on him. The stars pierced his heart. He walked to greet Ivin and Maylin but as he got closer they ran off. Adrien began to worry.
No one dared to talk to him, no one dared to even be close to him. Adrien felt the hate in everyone's hearts. Had there been an akuma attack that had everyone acting like this?
He turned to walk into his homeroom class. All eyes went to him the moment he stepped foot in the room. Sharp glances of distrust made his heart sink. He quickly walked to his seat in which Nino shifted further away.
Kim walked down to Adrien's desk and slammed his hands on the wood. "Why are you here?" He snarled.
"What?" Adrien looked at Kim confused.
"Don't act dumb" Nino started "what does Monarch want with us?"
"Monarch? I don't understand." Adrien looked over to his best friend then back to Kim.
"We don't need a monster here!"
Kim's words hurt Adrien more than any injury he had ever received at the hands of an akuma victim.
"Where did you get that idea?" The hero wasn't sure how they had found out or even if that was what they were responding to.
Most of the class just watched as the two boys spoke to their classmate unsure of what they would tell him themselves.
"Guys i'v been trying to tell you he's not dangerous! Leave him alone!" Marinette tried to reason with her class.
"Dangerous? Why would I be dangerous?" Adrien started to get defensive. "I don't understand."
"Lila warned us about you being a sentimoster! I can't believe I grew up with a monster!" Chloe shrieked.
"I.." Adrien tried to explain. Of course he would never hurt them, he has protected them and worked along side of few of them. He could't explain that he actually fought against Monarch. "I would never hurt you!" The boy spit out franticly.
"Why should we believe you?" Max asked curiously. "Sentimosters have attacked Paris over and over again." Most of the class muttered in agreement.
"If he wanted to hurt you don't you think he would have done it already?" Marinette stood from her chair, "Adrien's the same Adrien he always has been. He's kind and gentle, always trying to help and protect us!"
Rose stood, "I think your right!" The girls voice brought the 'monster' comfort. He hoped the rest of the class would slowly come to the same conclusion and would eventually trust him again.
Adrien had rested him arm on his desk. He didn't think anything of it for he was not used to having his life on his hand. The ring rested on the opposite hand of his miraculous as not destroy it when activating Cataclysm. Chloe gestured to Kim to grab it and so he did.
Kim hastily grabbed Adrien's wrist and pulled the ring from his middle finger. He held it as if to threaten the other.
Adrien turned to Kim terrified. How could he forget? That ring was his life and now, just as it always had been, was in the hands of someone else. It seemed no matter what he did his life just couldn't be his own. Kim positioned the ring between his hands ready to break it.
"Please" Adrien said shaking. "I'm not going to hurt anyone. I've never even wanted to. I can't help that I'm a sentimoster, it's just how I was made. I beg of you please don't." Tears began to well in his green eyes. Kim hesitated. Adrien seemed genuinely scared and if he spoke the truth, he didn't deserve to die. The more the teen thought the more he understood Adrian wouldn't hurt them. He had always been there for him right? So why would that change just because his soul was in a ring?
Alya had been holding Marinette in her set. Though Alya wasn't sure how she felt on Adrien anymore she knew nothing would change how her best friend felt for the blonde. She thought she was protecting her when in reality she was hurting her.
Lila walked down the stairs to where Kim stood. "If you can't I will. It's for the best. He's been deceiving us. I know it hurts but we have to for our safety, for everyone's safety."
"Isn't that murder?" Asked Nathanl.
"He's a monster" Chloe began, "he deserves this."
Deserved this? The words broke Adrien. All he ever tried to do was help, to keep them safe. If the girl he grew up with, the people he spent most of his time with though he was a monster maybe he was. The tears fell from his eyes.
This shocked the class. "Maybe you're right" he sobbed "I can't help what I am, I don't want to be a monster." He inhaled sharpy trying to get air in and out of his lungs, "if you think it's for the best then"
Marinette interrupted him. "No!"
The show of emotion from Adrian woke the class up. Sure he was a sentimoster but he was also a living being who deserved better then what he had.
"Here." Kim took the ring into one hand and gently placed it in the owner's hand. Adrien snatched it, putting it on his left middle finger. "I think we owe you an apology."
"Yeah. I should know better than anyone that you aren't dangerous, you're my best friend. Well if you'll still let me be." Nino held out a hand. Adrien flinched then attempted to relax. Alya finally let go of Marinette.
Maylin had walked down to Adrien's seat to help calm him down. She talked him through breathing exercises and soon he stopped crying.
The class apologized and asked for his forgiveness. Adrien who was forgiving to a fault convinced them it was okay and that he understood.
After the class Adrien checked his phone. Thousands of private messages on social media flooded his phone. Most consisted of death threats or cursed him out. He knew one thing, his life would be very different from now on. At least he could escape as Cat Noir. Plus his friends stood behind him so he knew he'd be okay, eventually.
The Secrets Trilogy: Our Little Secret
Description: Park Jimin is the office’s oddball. Meek and quiet as a mouse, you never assume too much of him. Your mistake.
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: Smut (18+)
Word Count: 15.9k
Index: Our Little Secret, Secrets Tested, Secrets Revealed
Warnings: Dom/sub themes, public sex, voyeurism, exhibitionism, humiliation, demeaning names, rough sex (slapping, spanking, biting, bruising). Do NOT expect fluffiness in this. There is absolutely none. Nada. Zilch.
A/N: Lol I have no explanation. This was supposed to be like 5k at the most. Ah well. Just simply enjoy, y’all.
Keep reading
Ocean Eyes
Wumptober Day One- panic attack/secret reveled
This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happening. His heart couldn't seem to choose between running a million miles per hour or just stopping completely.
“You didn’t really think he was on your side did you?”
“H-Hugo?”
“Varian I-”
He couldn’t breathe, air was refusing to go into his lungs as some invisible hands seemed to wrap around his throat and everything was going to hell.
This was all his fucking fault, God why did he have to be so fucking stupid.
“Tell me she’s lying”
He stayed silent, staring down at the ground shamefully flinching as Donella placed a cold hand on his shoulder and smiled all while smiling like a wicked witch, anything to avoid Varians eyes.
“Tell me she’s lying!!!”
“I- I’m sorry…”
Invisible pins and needles stabbed him from all around as less and less air entered his lungs from the raw and terrible pain in his heart.
Sorry wasn’t enough, nothing could take back the horrible awful things he’d done.
He was a traitor.
He forced himself to look up, and regretted it immediately.
Varian’s beautiful blue eyes that Hugo had grown to love so much were filled with tears and broken with anger and betrayal. His smile, a scowl holding back a flurry of pained and angry words.
“How could you!!! How could you do this- I guess I’m just an idiot then, aren't I?!”
Tears started flowing down his own face as he felt his heart breaking and his world ending.
“I’ve been betrayed before… but I guess I just thought you’d be different, I thought I could let myself love you…”
“Varian, please I-”
“My mistake”
His eyes were what got to him. Varian’s beautiful, ocean eyes that had no right to make Hugo feel so many wonderful things after he’d worked so hard his whole life to shut those kinds of feelings out.
Donella had given him one job, don’t get attached, and he’d failed.
He’d failed his mom and now he was failing the person he loved most in the entire world.
Varian started running towards the open, glowing portal to the library and Donella ran to stop him.
He stuck out his hand, trying to follow but Nuru and Yong pushed him to the ground with a scowl as they called out for Varian to stop.
Yong’s little face was wet with tears as well as Nuru’s but she just chose to glare at him angrily for a second before running off to help her real friend.
She deserved to feel angry, he was angry too.
They pounded on the portal door, trying to get in, but it was locked… Varian was stuck. Donella was yelling at him and Cryus to do something but he didn’t care, she was probably gonna fire him after this for trying to betray her anyway. All that mattered was Varian… This is all your fault… who knows what is going to happen to Varian in there and it’s all your fault!!!
He didn’t know if it was Nuru or Yong or maybe even himself yelling those words, he just knew they were true… everything was his fault…
An eternity of a few seconds passed and everything was chaos of everyone trying to get in and see what was happening to Varian.
His pounds on the door got weaker and weaker as the despair in his heart got heavier, he was gonna lose him…
“Varian please!!! I love you…”
The door opened, as if it had heard his plea but what came out was worse than anything he could have ever imagined.
Varian floating in the library, ocean eyes that now glowed like ice.
“Hello again Donnie, let’s finish this once and for all”
(fic was inspired by this animatic)
