So She Has That Going For Her Too - Tumblr Posts
ah— she had hoped he wouldn't want to delve too deeply into it, but as she'd thought moments ago, the subject matter would've come up at some point. the faerie shifts in the booth, toying with the fidget ring on her thumb. " they're—... " well, they're certainly nothing like the scars nnoitra had that came from losing his eye, that's for certain. it wasn't as though she'd been attacked, no one hurt her, there was no freak accident that resulted in injury. these were her own doing.
" i... was in a really dark place for a good, or rather bad, majority of my life. i mention getting bullied to others if the topic comes up and they usually have about the same reaction, that it couldn't have been that bad. but it was. it was really bad. " agatha admits with a sigh, not meeting his gaze. " it wasn't just verbal harassment but physical, too. it was very nearly every day. it... it took a toll on me. like i said, i was in a dark place. there was no light, there was no hope, it was just me forcing myself to push through the day. "
agatha falls quiet. " being in that dark place, i felt numb and it felt the only thing i could do to make myself feel something was to hurt myself. so the scars i have are ones i gave myself. i do regret doing that to myself because it further skewed how i saw myself, but... i can look at them now and use them as a reminder to not let myself go back to that dark place. i also haven't hurt myself in quite a while now, a couple years, i think. " she tells him, finally looking up at him. agatha manages to smile again, a soft laugh leaving her now. " i still can't wear bathing suits but i don't feel quite so self-conscious wearing short-sleeve shirts anymore. "
This conversation was turning somewhat... Stiff. It was hard to describe it, but Nnoitra didn't feel like it was genuine anymore. Mah, that was his own fault, for sure. Clearly Agatha didn't know what to say. She was reacting quite calmly. To Nnoitra, it just looked like she was distancing herself, rather than engaging with him. He didn't even know how he'd wanted her to react. This all just seemed kinda underwhelming to him.
Left him feeling disappointed, in a way. Or maybe not. He didn't know exactly what he was feeling.
Agatha told him that she too had scars. This came as a surprise to him, and it showed on his face, a small confused furrow appearing between his brows. How the fuck could a sweet girl like Agatha get scarred? That didn't make sense to him, and he tried to imagine how she'd gotten them, what kinda scars they were, and where they were located. Nothing came to mind, so maybe his gaze appeared spaced-out as he thought.
❝ Yo, wait up - ya don't wanna tell me 'bout 'da scars? ❞ He asked when it appeared like she wanted to change the subject by asking if he wanted more food or if he wanted to go see a movie. ❝ Ain't nothin' 'ta be self-cautious 'bout. ❞ Girls were often like that though, right? Ashamed and embarrassed about features that were not considered "pretty". He didn't even answer her question, too hung up on her confession. He'd shared about HIS scars, so it was only fair she did the same.