T: Lu Mengran - Tumblr Posts

(˶˃⤙˂˶) for @xinxiins / continued from here

this is, undoubtedly, lu mengran's biggest project to date. just by looking at the cast list, one would easily wonder just how her name ends up there. it's a question that she has asked herself multiple times, but if luck has decided to be on her favor for once, there only remains one thing for her to do: seize the opportunity and make the best out of it. such chances don't come easy and often, and one would think it's the perfect timing for some networking, also known as one of the most important skills and assets that someone could have in this industry. however, she also faintly recalls reading somewhere before that leaving a strong impression is important for any effective networking, which is why she's tucked herself into a corner, script in a hand, pen in the other as she scribbles down tidbits as her thoughts flow.

she'll need to perform in her role well --maybe earn a compliment or two if she's lucky -- and then she'll think about networking.

she's been stuck at the same scene for the past half an hour now, memorizing lines alone is easy, but what's effective would be getting to rehearse with a scene partner... who turns out to be ren xinyu in this scene. the man captures attention everywhere he goes, and she isn't sure--

looking up instinctively when she notices the approaching presence, mengran scrambles to her feet, immediately recognizing who it is. speak of the devil. "ā... xiè xie--" the bottle is accepted with a little smile, and she makes a face trying to twist the bottle cap open.

it's the only way to pretend she hasn't just almost failed at keeping her expression neutral at what he's saying. if there's one thing she learnt from all the part time jobs she's had and film productions she's joined is that "we are a family" always rings some alarms and raises some red flags. she could only hope this wouldn't be the case, or ren xinyu might have just lost a fan. though, a smile is on her face when she responds in between: "nǎ kě néng yǒu rén bú rèn shi ní ā?"

the sudden nosebleed catches her off guard; frowning when he turns away, she only follows to move in front of him without thinking. "rèn lǎo shī...!" a hand reaches out to grip his arm, and then she's urging him to sit at her chair earlier. "nǐ hái hǎo ma?" she asks, bending down a little to see better, only to get horrified at the sight of the bloodied cloth. "please don't tell me those are real blood on your towel. or that it's fresh from today. actually, please tell me if it is, so i can help if you want me to tell someone. because i do that too, the entire hiding your health condition so it doesn't slow filming down kinda thing. so just... let me know.” she rambles distractedly, still eyeing him carefully.

(˶˃ᆺ˂˶) for @xinxiins / continued from here

yawning for the n-th time as she sprawls over the hotel bed, lu mengran sighs before discarding her script book and pick up her ipad instead. the day's filming has gone well and smooth, sure it wouldn't be too much if she were to spend some time indulging in the fancy world of social media and the internet, right? the lines that she still hasn't fully memorized could wait just a little bit longer... just a little bit--

another yawn is interrupted when a livestream notification prompts on top of the screen. she swipes it away mindlessly, also accidentally refreshing her w.eibo home feed along, earning a little dissatisfied click of tongue. a few scrolls and then ren xinyu's scandalously half covered chest is on display-- in her defense, the screenshot has been zoomed in several times, and it's hard not to notice. curiosity doesn't kill the cat in this case, however it does kill her urge to sleep when another few more similar posts finally got her to click into the livestream room.

she's heard -- and seen -- enough interactions between ren xinyu and an jinyue to know that those two share a bond deeper than others, but it's not until she almost gets dizzy from all the comments flooding in that she realizes just how ridiculously close they are. the few comments that mengran manages to catch has her bewildered; good thing she is lucky enough to have her own room, or else someone would have to endure her screaming into her pillow. there are some friends that she has gotten close with during and after filming, and the luckiest -- or maybe not -- thing about that is no one cares enough about what they do, be it some wild, borderline inappropriate jokes or anything else in between.

it sure has been an eye-opening experience witnessing this firsthand, and before she knows it, the livestream is approaching its end. almost sad to see it end, her finger hovers over the 'send' button, a small little goodbye comment that's been typed out waiting to be sent when her name is mentioned.

and then her phone is blowing up with notifications that she could barely see or hear properly what's been said.

it's not until the livestream ends, and she's managed to watch a few 'ren xinyu talking about lu mengran in livestream' clips that she realizes how deep of a trouble she could be in. for a split second, she wants to strangle ren xinyu. but she can't cause any harm to someone who has given her such a heartwarming shoutout now, can she?

his messages come just in time as she's typing up a message that's hopefully respectful enough, and slightly dumbfounded, she stands up to pace around her bed as she deletes her initial unsent message:

[ to: 任老师 ]: rèn lǎo shī [ to: 任老师 ]: do you think she'll hate it? [ to: 任老师 ]: i mean, she's so nice and kindhearted but what if they take it the wrong way? [ to: 任老师 ]: [ sent an image ]

now, she'll hate it if her chance of networking with the gorgeous female lead has diminished significantly just because some netizens have decided to take things the wrong way somehow, like how things usually happen in this field.

[ to: 任老师 ]: suī rán wǒ yě méi zuò shén me... [ to: 任老师 ]: dàn shì hái shi hěn gǎn xiè nǐ de chēng zàn [ to: 任老师 ]: [ sent an image ] [ to: 任老师 ]: do you still feel sick?

still pacing, her steps a bit quickened now, lu mengran briefly considers what's the worst that could happen if things went south. and then deciding that what she could do is maybe to fix the situation somehow before it has a chance of becoming worse, and that's why she should start looking into getting some breakfast, or coffee for wang xiaoning, or maybe the entire crew--

she has only managed to peek a little at her w.eibo notifications when his replies come just in time to save her from coming up with her seventh backup plan on what to do if this biggest project didn't work out. and seventh is her least favorite one.

[ to: 任老师 ]: zhēn de ?! zhēn de zhēn de?! [ to: 任老师 ]: nà tài hǎo lā!!

her pacing comes to a quick stop -- her pinky toe kicks into a bed leg, and a surprised, pained yelp leaving her as she flops onto her bed, followed by a wide grin spreading with a few excited laughs despite the pain and the few weird kicks in the air to 'kick off' the pain from the stubbed toe.

[ to: 任老师 ]: i'd have to buy her some bubble tea or something tomorrow! [ to: 任老师 ]: [ sent an image ]

she rolls around in her bed, succeeds in messing up the thick blanket and pillows before sitting up straight, a more serious look taking place.

[ to: 任老师 ]: rèn lǎo shī [ to: 任老师 ]: nǐ què dìng yào yǔ yīn liáo tiān? [ to: 任老师 ]: i was watching the livestream just now and you were coughing pretty bad... [ to: 任老师 ]: i feel like it's even worse than this morning too... :( [ to: 任老师 ]: have you taken your medicine already?

remembering that she had been a silent audience of the livestream was a bit embarrassing somehow, like getting caught watching something that she shouldn't be, even though it's just another day of the usual close interactions of ren xinyu and an jinyue, she still scrambles to reply:

[ to: 任老师 ]: i mean, i was memorizing the script and then happened to watch some of the livestream [ to: 任老师 ]: didn't manage to catch the entire thing though! [ to: 任老师 ]: you're not feeling well and still coughing, are you sure you want to chat?

[ msg from: 王晓宁 ]: cute livestream, punk 😉 [ msg from: 王晓宁 ]: you like her, don't you ? you're so predictable 🤭 she seems sweet, but i'm going to have to talk to you over dinner more about this later. i need more details before i can give you my blessings 😉😉 if she's okay with it, bring her with you. what's dinner among friends, right ? [ msg from: 王晓宁 ]: xīwàng nǐ gǎnkuài hǎo qǐlái 🥺 yǒngbào nǐ, xīnxīn 🥺🤗🤗

rèn xīnyù reads the messages three times before exhaling on a soft breath of laughter ( unfortunately, it makes him cough again --- but at least now it's late enough at night that he can take the medicine the director doesn't like him taking before filming because "it's too sedating." ) as if on cue, ān jīnyuè comes padding out of the hotel room's mini-kitchen, holding an oversized container of instant ramen. he's a ridiculous sight, mouth full of noodles, still dressed in his silly onesie that he'd bought as a joke and unironically came to adore.

"nǐ méishì ba ?" he asks, eyebrows raised in an endearing expression of concern, and takes another bite of noodles.

xīnyù takes one look at him and bursts into laughter --- which jīnyuè must take mock offense to, if the way he wastes no time in lobbing a decorative pillow directly at xīnyù's chest is any indication. "gē, bié qǔxiào wǒ," he pouts, drifting over to xīnyù and wrapping his arms around xīnyù's shoulders ( if the stream were still going, they'd surely break the internet once more --- especially when xīnyù sets said pillow atop the desk and rests his head on it. ) jīnyuè rubs xīnyù's back again, then sets down the ramen, pushing it slowly but surely towards xīnyù --- who, upon realizing what he's doing, snorts with amusement.

"nǐ bùxiǎng yào ma ?"

"bùyào." jīnyuè giggles, teasingly holding up a bite in offering. "gěi."

xīnyù stares at him for a moment, shakes his head, grins --- and eats it.

--- fortunately, jīnyuè is too sleepy to remain interested in xīnyù's personal conversations; after only a few minutes, he shuffles back into the kitchenette, presumably to make himself more tea. xīnyù pulls his phone back out, suddenly feeling nervous. already his feed is filling up with outpourings of concern and sympathy over his health --- and countless speculations as to his relationship with his co-stars. one of them is speculation as to how wáng xiǎoníng might feel about all this; if xīnyù didn't know she's incredibly amused by the whole thing, merely seeing that sort of analysis pop up on his feed would give him indigestion.

[ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: wèishénme nǐ bùjiào wǒ gēgē ma 🥺😭 [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: shéi a ? wáng xiǎoníng ? of course not ... don't worry. she texted me just after the stream ended ... she wants to get to know you better, actually.

well, at least he managed to make it until after the stream before coughing so hard he gags. jīnyuè pops his head back in, frowning. "nǐ yàosǐle ma ?"

"méishénme, méishénme," xīnyù manages, wiping at his eyes, and contemplates downing the whole bottle of cough syrup.

[ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: méishì méishì ☺️☺️ [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: [ sent an image ] [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: shì a 😭 zhège tā mā de késòu ... wǒ shuì bùzháo a 😷 āiyā ! [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: [ sent an image ]

he drags himself to bed ( sometime between the livestream ending and now, jīnyuè's left him an extra blanket as well as a bottle of water ) and curls up under the covers, mindlessly scrolling through his w.eibo feed. so many of his fans have left him home remedies and recommendations on things he can do or take to feel better sooner, and he feels guilty for not being more cheered up by it ... but there's really only one thing on his mind right now.

[ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: nǐ gàn shá ne ? [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: yào bùyào yǔyīn liáotiān ma ... ? 🥺

( > 〰 < )♡ for @xinxiins / continued from here

on one hand, lu mengran is starting to worry about the next day in general. her body shows no signs of entering sleep mode anytime soon, and instead of focusing on what needs to be done and gets herself sleepy, her mind is occupied with ren xinyu during the livestream, and his texts about how he still feels terrible from being sick. on the other, she's glad she hasn't slept yet for she could've missed the series of texts from the great gorgeous wang xiaoning.

[ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: jiě jiě nǐ hǎo [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: [ sent an image ][ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: you didn't bother me at all!!! i'm very happy and honored tbh [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: i figured as much :( he was coughing real bad just now...

downloading the file, she gives it a quick glance and is left in awe at... everything. it couldn't have been that long since getting the rescheduling news, and wang xiaoning has come prepared. this alone, mengran thinks, is definitely something she could improve.

[ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: waaa jiě jiě... you're so fast 🥺 [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: xiè xie lā~ i'll make sure i read them thoroughly!

luckily, it is as ren xinyu told her, the senior actress doesn't seem to be bothered by what mengran has spent the past few moments worrying over. looking from the texts, maybe -- hopefully -- they will get along better than mengran has wished. which means she's already ready to take on whatever it is that xiaoning would like her to do.

[ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: dāng rán méi wèn tí, i can do anything...! [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: jiě jiě fàng xīn [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: i'm sure he feels bad already, i only wish for him to get well as soon as he could 🥺 [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: i wonder if there's anything else we could do than just texting him... it sucks being sick on such busy days :( [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: but don't worry jiě jiě, i'll definitely check in on him tomorrow!!! [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: [ sent an image ] [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️]: jiě jiě wǎn ān 🥰🥰

[ to: 任老师 ]: ēn! fēi cháng kāi xīn! [ to: 任老师 ]: matcha latte, got it!

if mengran could have it her way and they were any closer to the cafe she worked at when she had been lacking an acting job previously, she would even make a matcha latte herself and present it to wang xiaoning. but takeaways would have to do now.

[ to: 任老师 ]: when you get better, can i get you something too? [ to: 任老师 ]: to express my gratitude, that is! 🥺

there's very little that lu mengran wouldn't do, and there's nothing she dislikes more than owing someone who has been nice to her one way or another, and even if by any chance he chooses to turn down her offer, she would just have to try harder. and if she's lucky, she'll get to be on the good sides of both people that she admires so, so much.

[ to: 任老师 ]: i'm excited about the script! only hoping i won't disappoint... [ to: 任老师 ]: qí shí wǒ yǒu xiē jǐn zhāng 哈哈

nothing makes her happier than getting to do the one thing that she likes the most, but in such a project with huge actors like the rest of them, the stress is twice as heavier as the joy. of course, she hasn't been planning on making ren xinyu listen to her little anxiety monologue or give her a prep talk, especially when he's sick. shifting into a more comfortable position, she gives up on typing and holds her phone closer to herself as she records a voice message:

[ voice message ]: rèn lǎo shī... i'm the last person you should say sorry too! ēn... you should save that until later, like if you still hadn't gotten better by the time it's for our scene... [ voice message ]: wǒ kāi wán xiào de!!

there's a sheepish little chuckle at the end, before she sends it and starts on the next voice message again with a clear of her throat.

[ voice message ]: suǒ yǐ nǐ yào kuài diǎn hǎo qǐ lai ya... i'm looking forward to when we shoot our scenes together later on. [ voice message ]: sleep well, rèn lǎo shī. if you can't sleep, well... i'm going to be online for a bit longer, that's why i asked if you really want to yǔ yīn liáo tiān. [ voice message ]: hǎo mèng~

once again, she doesn't call him gēgē. to rèn xīnyù, the "lǎoshī" feels almost like a correction --- like she's making a point of indirectly reinforcing her reluctance to use the more familiar term with him. in the darkness of the room, his smile falters --- not that it matters if there's no one there to see it.

[ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: nǐ kāixīn ma ? 哈哈哈, hǎo ☺️ [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: not bubble tea. a matcha latte. iced in the summer, otherwise hot. she's picky 😉

he tries to fight off another coughing fit for as long as he can, tries lying on his side like yán tuò had suggested might make breathing a bit easier. none of it works, and a minute later he's sitting up again, fumbling around in the dark for the switch on the bedside lamp as he hacks up a lung. ān jīnyuè materializes once more, looking far more awake than he had only moments ago, and regards xīnyù with a look that's equal parts concern and disbelief.

"zhè tàitàitài huāngmiùle," he tuts, and shoves a wastebasket in front of xīnyù, then settles alongside him and tries his best to comfort him, while xīnyù, watery-eyed and gasping, focuses solely on trying not to die. "shǎguā ... kànkàn nǐ. xiǎoníng already talked to the director and producers. i don't think i have to spell the rest out for you."

the implication sinks in almost immediately. xīnyù frowns deeply, slapping his thigh in frustration --- hard enough to leave a mark. "tā māde niǎo," he laments, "wǒ hěn diūliǎn ! wǒ de miànzi --- "

"bùyào huīxīn," jīnyuè reassures, interrupting him. his pout is irresistibly cute as he pokes his index finger unrepentantly against the dimple in xīnyù's cheek. "nobody, nobody, is upset with you. try to rest, okay ?"

"duìbùqĭ," xīnyù murmurs quietly, and allows himself to be hugged tightly when jīnyuè reaches for him.

"méiguānxì, gē." jīnyuè gently but persuasively pushes xīnyù back down onto the bed, and xīnyù relents, too exhausted ( and too disheartened ) to argue. "wǎn'ān, hǎo mèng."

[ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: how are you feeling with the script ? confident ? it will be a fun scene. i'm looking forward to it ☺️ [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: 哈哈, you don't have to justify why you were ( or weren't ) watching it 😜 it's a livestream, anyone can watch ! [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: and don't worry, if you missed the beginning you only missed xiǎoyuè talking about tea 😂 i'm sure he'll be more than happy to repeat it all in person 😂😂

the next coughing fit makes it woefully apparent why jīnyuè left him a wastebin --- though at least jīnyuè's singing loudly and happily enough in the shower that he doesn't seem to hear it, so xīnyù manages to save some face. he tosses himself roughly back against the pillow, wiping angrily at eyes that are wet with tears of more than just effort and discomfort.

[ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: wǒ hào wùxīn a ... duìbùqĭ 😭 [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: i tried so hard to hide it 😢😢 people are so weird about this kind of thing, and i also didn't want to let anyone down or worry anyone ... wǒ shībàile 😭 duìbùqĭ duìbùqĭ duìbùqĭ a 😭😭😭 [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: [ sent an image ] [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: suànle 😟 ... wǒ késòu tài duōle 😭💀 [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: qīngqīng rùshuì ☺️ míngtiān jiàn .... [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: [ sent an image ]

( after all, she wouldn't ask him twice unless she's hoping he'll change his mind --- right ? )

(,,>﹏<,,) for @xinxiins / continued from here

by the time lu mengran manages to finish the bubble tea that was apparently from ren xinyu, it has already lost its original taste and only leaves some savory sweet taste on her tastebuds. that's how long she's been full focused at work, busying herself with trying to be on her best behavior and deliver the best performance, it's not until later that night, once she's sprawled lazily over her bed that she realizes an jinyue and ren xinyu have once again broken the internet.

a smile tugs on her lips at the pictures, and before she could get amused by the remarkable comment section again, something from one of the pictures catches her attention enough to cause the smile to falter. with an jinyue's words earlier when he passed the bubble tea to her echoing in her mind, mengran pulls open the chatting application swiftly. an jinyue's message comes just in time as she hit the 'send' button, and in mild panicked surprise, her first reaction is to recall that message. because she very well could've misunderstood the entire thing and regret always comes late for her, and it always, always comes with embarrassment. it could have been an old picture and ren xinyu hasn't been eating instant noodles while sick, and she's certain he's smarter than that. that is obviously the best scenario, even though it ends with her overstepping the boundaries of trying to be a caring-but-not-too-much-because-it's-too-soon coworker.

by the time her inner dilemma, it's already too late to recall the message and save herself from acting like a fool.

on second thought, she still wants her answer anyway.

[ to: 安金月 ]: zhè me chí le bù hǎo yì si... 😖 but i'm just curious, were you guys eating that massive portion of instant noodles just now? [ to: 安金月 ]: he said that? i didn't get any texts from him though... 😖

it's not the only thing she's curious about. for the entire day, she's been wondering about the sick ren xinyu, and tried to listen in to any conversations that could give some clues as to how his condition has been. his cough had been terrible the last time she checked, and she wonders if it's still as bad. while everyone has been trying to keep the atmosphere on set lively and positive, she'd be lying if she said everyone hasn't been waiting for their male lead to get better. he would need to rest, that's the most important thing than anything else, she had thought at that time.

hence, any urges to check on him herself has been pushed back in fear of disrupting his rest, and now... she hopes it's not too late.

[ to: 任老师 ]: rèn lǎo shī, nǐ shuì le ma? [ to: 任老师 ]: xī wàng méi dǎ rǎo dào nǐ... 🥺 [ to: 任老师 ]: how do you feel today?

lu mengran sits up so fast that it has her mind blanking and her eyes seeing stars for a few seconds. and when she comes back to it, an jinyue's messages are still there and failed to prove her wrong. what kind of sick person eats unhealthy food knowingly?

well, except her, that is. but she's excusable for her bank account always looks a tad bit risky.

the series of expressions that crosses her face betrays her attempts to convince herself that it's truly not up to her to say anything about their... questionable decisions, and she sighs regardless, spending the next few moments typing and erasing, and then repeating the whole process in hopes of finding a respectful way to convey her concerns.

[ to: 安金月 ]: you guys were sharing too... or did i see that wrong... 😦

it's at that moment that she wishes there were some way to get her hands on some cooking utensils... or maybe she could ask the props team to see if there's any that she could borrow for a few hours. with that thought in mind, she presses play on the video, gaze narrowing a bit as if she couldn't bear to see for herself if it features anything worse than eating instant noodles while sick.

she's left with two conclusions: firstly, whatever that she has seen on the livestream -- and in person -- and all that she has heard about the duo really weren't just some tailor-made media play, and they really do have a bond stronger than most-- and she couldn't imagine laughing at someone who's sick, albeit adoringly and in good nature. and secondly, what on earth is ren xinyu even doing?

[ to: 安金月 ]: tā kàn qǐ lai bú xiàng méi shì... [ to: 安金月 ]: you didn't let him drink the whole bottle, but you guys ate instant noodles 😦 [ to: 安金月 ]: i'm concerned 😭😭

she runs a hand through her hair, chewing on her bottom lip as she reads ren xinyu's messages. hastily, both her mouth and her hand working faster than her brain, she leaves another voice message:

[ voice message ]: shéi dān xīn shéi ā? i'm not the one who ate instant noodles while sick. and here i was, thinking you're resting properly the whole day and getting better and i could see you on set sooner because i'm really excited to look forward to filming with you and now look, what if you get even more sick... [ voice message ]: not that i'm trying to pressure you when you're already not feeling well, but... nǐ zhī dào de, shēng bìng hěn nán shòu de, wǒ zhǐ shì xiǎng nǐ hǎo qǐ lai [ voice message ]: i really really really hope you're resting well though, for example you could start with zipping your sweatshirt all the way up.

ān jīnyuè is standing in the middle of the kitchenette, softly singing along ( well, more like making vocal sounds designed to mimic words, but aren't actually words at all, because he neither speaks nor understands one iota of korean ) to some k.-pop hits when lu mengran's messages come through. he picks up his phone, reads them over --- and immediately bursts into such heartfelt laughter that he has to hold onto the counter for support.

he wastes no time in messaging her back.

[ to: 可爱的梦梦 ]: 哈哈哈哈哈哈 🤣🤣🤣 天啊 !!! 哈哈哈哈哈哈 [ to: 可爱的梦梦 ]: we totally were !! 🤣🤣🤣 oh no is that bad ??? [ to: 可爱的梦梦 ]: nǐ zhīdào ma ? gēgē bù huì zuòfàn 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️ tā shuō, "wǒ yào miàntiáo 😢 嗚嗚嗚" suǒyǐ ... gěi 😁 [ to: 可爱的梦梦 ]: ... ok maybe that's a slight exaggeration 🤣 [ to: 可爱的梦梦 ]: nǐ kànkàn ! [ to: 可爱的梦梦 ]: [ 小月 sent a video message ]

in the video, xīnyù's relocated to the couch, where he's sitting all bundled up and reading through the yī jiàn zhōng qíng script book, pen balanced in his hand as he scribbles notes in the margins. he's still wearing the glasses ( and holding the d.oraemon plushie ) from the photo jīnyuè posted earlier; though he's put on a sweatshirt, it seems he still hasn't learned how to zip it up all the way. he coughs again; though the fit doesn't last as long as previous ones have, by the sound of it, he's got what's shaped up to be a truly miserable chest cold. he's reaching for the bottle of cough syrup on the coffee table when he realizes jīnyuè is filming him; he makes direct, unblinking eye contact, and slowly unscrews the bottle cap.

something about the intensity of the eye contact makes jīnyuè start giggling. "gēgē, nǐ ... nǐ gàn shá ne ?"

xīnyù sets his laptop aside and sniffles. "bìzuǐ."

"āiyā !" jīnyuè bursts into laughter as xīnyù somehow manages to not spill the bottle all over himself when he sneezes twice a moment later. "party time ?"

xīnyù tugs down his mask, glares pointedly at jīnyuè, and starts drinking the medicine straight from the bottle. the video ends with a perfectly-cut scream from jīnyuè.

[ to: 可爱的梦梦 ]: tā méishì 🤣 [ to: 可爱的梦梦 ]: he's just grumpy, he slept badly last night. don't worry, i didn't let him actually drink the whole bottle.

--- " ... who are you chatting with ?" xīnyù's eyes are heavy-lidded as he sinks lower and lower onto the couch, looking like he may very well doze off there. the d.oraemon anime is playing on the tv. he's not really watching it, but jīnyuè enjoys it, and anyway, the faint background noise is nice.

"mengmeng," jīnyuè replies, lingering by the couch. xīnyù watches him briefly, then rearranges himself so that jīnyuè can join him; a moment later, his head is in jīnyuè's lap.

"ò," xīnyù mumbles sleepily.

"tā dānxīn nǐ," jīnyuè continues, flashing xīnyù a knowing smile as he tugs the blanket up snugly around him.

"ò," xīnyù murmurs again, just as his phone chimes faintly. his eyes crinkle softly at the corners. beneath his mask, he smiles.

[ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: fàngxīn ba, nǐ méiyǒu dǎrǎo wǒ ☺️ [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: wǒ lèi dé yàomìng 🥱🤧🥱 [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: nǐ ne ? nǐ hái hǎo ma ? 😟 [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: wǒ hěn dānxīn nǐ 😓

lu mengran couldn't possibly express just how grateful she is for ren xinyu. nothing in this industry comes for free, and he could have not said anything about her -- he has no reason to aside from the fact that they both star in the same project now, and the fact that he did, and has continuously been so nice to her means so much more to her than he could ever imagine. not just him, but the rest too. she's been so caught up in everything that she hasn't really paused long enough to let herself process through what really happened tonight, and now that she thinks about it, it has all felt surreal.

just half a year ago, the girl who had been running to make it to audition after pulling an all-nighter for a night shift at the 24-hour cafe wouldn't even dream of getting complimented by ren xinyu publicly during a livestream. let alone texting with him, and all he's asking for is... a smile in return?

a chuckle escapes her as she tucks some hair behind her ear; it's starting to feel a little hot, as one does when one starts to get embarrassed. or emotional. or both.

[ to: 任老师 ]: kě yǐ shì kě yǐ... [ to: 任老师 ]: dàn nà yě tài pián yi wǒ le🫣

for what it's worth, at least, it wouldn't feel good on her conscience.

when his following messages come, she spends a moment to reread multiple times, and ultimately deciding to take a screenshot of those two messages. the task of cropping it and placing it on top of a blank background is done in less than a minute, and in no time, it's already made as her phone's wallpaper. at least she could hang onto his kind words when filming gets tough and when she's tired, which is more often than she'd admit.

she is about to argue that it's her voice sounding off and distorted when recorded on a phone, and that he wouldn't be too far off either-- but she would be deaf to say so when he sounds like that. so she decides to ignore that comment altogether, having a gut feeling that he will not be convinced by her reasoning.

[ voice message ]: āi yō~ bié zài shuō duì bu qǐ lā [ voice message ]: and you have nothing to make up for too! you just need to focus on getting better! [ voice message ]: hǎo ba hǎo ba, i'll try to rest early. i still have to look through the script xiaoning jiě jie sent me, so if you can't sleep... [ voice message ]: kě yǐ zhǎo wǒ~

and then she waits patiently for his reply. given her rather joyful mood at the moment, she doubts there's very little that he could ask that she wouldn't attempt to fulfill anyway. well, except whatever xìngfú de xiàoróng he had wanted earlier, that is. it has felt strangely flustering.

out of all things she imagined that he could ask, it doesn't even come close to what is actually asked, or how it brings her to another level of being flustered that she could feel her cheek heating up. for a split second, she thinks she understands what all the fuss in the livestream's comment section was all about. even the way he calls her full name, and then her nickname, just scratches something in her.

if he wasn't sick, she could almost think he's doing it on purpose with how the camera is angled. just how is it possible for someone to even look like this when sick? must be some top celebrity secret, she thinks, she barely looks alive when she's sick.

inhaling deeply, mengran presses on the voice message record button again:

[ voice message ]: wǎn ān, xīnyù gē ge

if he closes his eyes, rèn xīnyù can practically hear her voice in his head; if he concentrates, he can picture her smile. and so, he does just that, exhaling on a soft breath of laughter at the enthusiasm that practically oozes through her words even via text, and smiles.

[ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: tài hǎole ☺️

her next messages give him pause. he sinks slowly back down against the bed and pulls a pillow against his chest, hugging it in a way that suggests it's not exactly the pillow he's thinking about hugging. some of that leaden feeling in his chest --- that sorrow, that dread of being disappointing in her eyes --- lightens.

[ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: you ... want to get me something ? 🥺 [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: aaahh ... i haven't really done anything worthy of being grateful for, but 😳 ... if you insist ... 🤭 [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: nǐ xìngfú de xiàoróng ... gěi wǒ 🥺☺️ nǐ kěyǐ ma ? 🥺

jīnyuè steps out of the bathroom a moment later, and in doing so renders the bedroom immediately humid and stuffy and too bright. he's got one towel slung around his hips as he roughly dries off his hair with another, humming along to whatever song he's been listening to. "nǐ gàn shá ne ?" he asks, leaning in as if he means to peer over at xīnyù's phone --- then giggles mischievously when xīnyù locks the screen and blinks grumpily up at him. "oooohhh ... "

"nǐ bìzuǐ --- āiyō ! ān jīnyuè a ! chuān shàng yīfú !" xīnyù swats halfheartedly at him. jīnyuè laughs again --- because he's nothing if not the merriest little person who's ever dared to laugh at damn near anything and everything --- and retreats back into the bathroom, still humming as he goes.

[ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: you won't disappoint. i know it in my heart. [ to: 萌萌的梦梦 ]: xiāngxìn nǐ zìjǐ a ! ☺️☺️

and then ... then the voice messages come through, and xīnyù --- taking a page out of jīnyuè's book --- dives under the covers, grinning like an idiot. it's only after he's played them back ( more than once ) that he begins to respond, himself --- and although he sounds hoarse and congested, the warmth ( the smile ) in his voice is audible.

[ voice message ]: nǐ de shēngyīn fēicháng kě'ài, nǐ zhīdào ma ? āiyā. [ voice message ]: wǒ duìbùqǐ nǐ, wǒ shì bìngle ... zhè ... zhè duì nǐ lái bìng bùyúkuài. [ voice message ]: i know i've inconvenienced you and everyone, and i promise i'll try to find a way to make it up to you. [ voice message ]: these messages really cheered me up, by the way. but please don't stay up late on my account ! proper rest is so important. [ voice message ]: also ... can i ask you something ?

he pauses, contemplating ... and then decides to be bold.

the next message that comes through to lu mengran's phone isn't a voice message --- it's a video message. the ambient light in the bedroom is low, so it's difficult to see, but xīnyù's face finally comes into focus, taking up most of the screen. he's clearly in bed ( still shirtless ) with his cheek propped against his palm; he sniffles, scrunches up his nose and wriggles it like an ( itchy ) bunny, then chuckles softly, his voice warm and low and sweet. "lu mengran," he says, then clears his throat, "mengmeng ... jiào wǒ --- " a pause. he turns aside and coughs briefly, adam's apple bobbing when he swallows; the camera inadvertently angles down just enough to give a momentary glimpse of his chest, " --- bùhǎoyìsi, āiyā." a soft breath of laughter; a sweet, dimpled smile. bathed in the blue-tinged glow of his phone screen, he looks both endearingly sleepy and genuinely content. "jiào wǒ xīnyù ... hǎobùhǎo ?" another beat. he shifts around, cheek now resting against the pillow. "wǎn'ān ... tiánmì mèngxiāng."

it's a few weeks before the variety show's live performance is scheduled that wáng xiǎoníng sends mengmeng a text late one evening.

[ msg from: 王晓宁 ]: mèimei, hāi 😊 [ msg from: 王晓宁 ]: hey, have you talked much with xīnyù-gēgē lately ? i'm worried about him. [ msg from: 王晓宁 ]: and there's something i have to tell you.

she hesitates for a moment, chewing her bottom lip until it bleeds. she'd seen some photos on w.eibo of xīnyù and jīnyuè having a night out in b.eijing the other night --- and by all accounts, xīnyù had been drinking like he'd wanted to drown something.

[ voice message ]: nǐ zhīdào bù zhīdào ... xīnyù yǒule yīgè de xiǎo dìdì ? tā ... tā jǐ nián qián jiù qùshìle. shìle ... zìshā. [ voice message ]: if you've ever heard the story of why he abruptly left filming a drama for "health reasons" ... that was why. he collapsed and was hospitalized after he heard the news. [ voice message ]: wǒ xiànzài hàipà tā de "shēng yuán" de juésè huì shānghài dào tā. mèimei, nǐ kěyǐ ... tā shuōhuà ma ? [ voice message ]: i'm so sorry, i know it's a lot to bring up out of the blue. but i also know he's really fond of you, and if you could help him share this burden, it'd mean the world to me, and to everyone else who cares about that stupid silly man. because there's no way he'll talk about it otherwise --- he doesn't want to be a burden on anyone.

[ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️ ]: jiě jiě 🤗🤗 [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️ ]: i think so...? we talk quite often haha

in the middle of catching up on some house chores after several days of not having any time to, lu mengran is nothing but grateful for wang xiaoning's messages that came just in time to excuse herself for a much needed short break. a small smile unknowingly makes its way to her face at the mere mention of ren xinyu. they have gotten significantly closer after all the shooting for their drama, and whenever she thinks about it, she still finds it a bit astonishing that the great ren xinyu is becoming quite the outstanding presence in her life. the smile slips off just as quick though, and she tries to recall any unusual behavior from the man recently that would ring alarms and have wang xiaoning worried. when she couldn't really pinpoint anything, something weighs heavier in her chest.

has she just been seeing his sweet sides to her that she couldn't see anything else?

when the voice messages arrive, mengran plays them out several times. louder the second time, because she thought she had heard wrongly. softer the third time, as if trying to keep everything -- all the surprise, sadness -- to a minimum.

the knowledge that mengran had of ren xinyu previously before their personal connection isn't all that different from what the general public would know. as a supporter and genuine fan of a good actor like him, she's always enjoyed watching his shows, and was one of those who had expressed disappointment and concern when he suddenly made his departure from filming that time. luckily, his performance as sheng yuan had been so remarkable and multiple rewatches of that made waiting easier, not to mention all the time she spent trying to analyze and learn how one acts like him. she hadn't assumed anything else back then, nor that she felt the need to.

if those emotional scenes have never failed to make her cry for how real and pained they were, how much worse would real life be? how much sadness does ren xinyu have to face, for losing his brother, for trying to return on screen again?

[ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️ ]: tiān ā [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️ ]: wǒ dōu bù zhī dào gāi shuō shén me le [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️ ]: rèn lǎo shī tā zěn me bàn ā 😥😥 [ to: 晓宁姐姐❣️ ]: i didn't know it was because of something so terrible 😥

[ voice message ]: thanks for trusting me and telling me this, xiǎoníng jiě. it means a lot. i'll keep this to myself only, so in case you're worried i could tell this to anyone, i won't. i'm... not sure how i could help, but i don't know how much i could help, but i'll be there if he needs me, that's the least i could do

the next moment is spent internally debating on the right timing to reach out to ren xinyu, or the right thing to say. however whatever decision she decided with would be pushed forward until she is certain that she wouldn't react the wrong way in front of him. after all, all she wants is for him to be happy.