The 100 Bellamy - Tumblr Posts

someone make a fanfic where y/n is upset about lexa dead because they were really good friends (like childhood) and bellamy is there for the reader.... OMG i cannot write it because i will execute it terribly

death era, part one. bellamy blake x fem!oc

summary 📣: with a cross over of the 100 x the walking dead, a group of young adults find themselves amongst a zombie apocalypse

warnings 🚫: violence, swearing, and...

slater’s note 🗯: i just decided to pull the trigger and post this because i’ve been wanting to for awhile (and for my followers/cobra kai fans, i’ll be posting requests soon)

nights like these made athena glad she’s alive. those nights are rare, but they were real and they happened, but only for a little while. 

the wind rustles through her hair while the pitch dark night sky had a tint of navy blue in it. the stars were bright and she just let it all seep into her skin. eyes closed, head tilted back, while her lips were pressed in a relaxed line, breathing in and out with relief.

the fire makes sounds like small twigs breaking beneath the pressure of ones foot, it’s almost too loud, too bright, but it created heat and athena needed heat if she was going to get through the night, at least while she was conscious.

athena exhales, lowering her eyes back to the small fire inked out in orange and yellow, so pretty but so dangerous. it could take out the whole forest if it wasn’t tamed. 

everything was so pretty and peaceful in that moment, but like she knew, those moments were rare and barely happened, so when she heard the real break of a branch, not the fire, she was ready and not surprised that the peaceful moment came down shattering, like broken glass.

she had the gun pointed at a man who was quick to throw up his hands in surrender, but his legs continued to move, slowly, and steadily. 

“stop moving.”

“calm down, little girl, i’m just here for the heat.”

“the heat isn’t to share so stop fucking moving,” she wasn’t scared, people like him didn't scare her. the kind of people who traveled alone and put up the defense that they weren’t scared when deep down they were just cowards who stole things that weren’t theirs. 

she cocked her gun, following him as he made the movements to begin to circle her. she knew that trick, it was one made to intimidate people, to catch people a little off their guard. when would they strike? what would they do? how would they do it? 

his hands were still up, that meant he was stalling and he was thinking of a plan. she had her gun still raised, athena wasn’t concerned, he could come charging at her and he’d be another life added to her list, “you come any closer now i’ll shoot you.”

“i don’t believe you, little girl,” he stopped right across from her, the fire flaming up his body from the angle he was at. his hands lowered slowly but he still kept his shoulders up in hesitation, like he was trying to figure her out. 

the nickname angered her, it made her think he must have done it on purpose to defy her, to anger her from her calm exterior, but from the position he was in made her think otherwise, he didn’t seem that smart.

“you don't have to believe me, it’s just what’s gonna happen.”

he breathed out, “i just want to share the fire.”

everyone wanted fire but not everyone was willing to share it. there was always that hesitation in the back of everyone’s brain the gnawed away, wondering whether or not if in the moment you were going to die, that that person, that stranger sitting across from you, were they going to kill you?

athena, she wasn’t afraid to die, it was like her whole life she had been preparing to do so. everyone died, it was the outcome of everything and you couldn't prevent it. 

no one should be afraid to die.

she pulled the trigger, air exhaling out from her nostrils in some sort of relief of pressure, “it’s not yours to share.”

she watches his body sink to the ground, folding to his knees before falling over on his side. no one should be afraid. 

not even the cowards.

“you shot him.”

athena froze, she could feel her heart in her throat.

so he wasn't alone...

she flipped around just like before with her gun raised just as high, pointing at the more built man who looked quite opposite to the man she had just shot. this man was younger, and yet more built. he had muscle and meat on him while the other one looked to be only skin and bones. 

“he wouldn't leave.”

“you didn't ask him to.”

“i asked him to stop moving.”

“he did.”

“he would have killed me.”

“now how do you know that?”

she pursed her lips, the feeling of air almost felt entirely pushed out of her throat like she was suffocating. this man for some reason made her feel a lot more nervous than she usually was with other people. 

it was because he didn't seem scared, he seemed comfortable, like talking to her was a normal thing and they were only old friends who just came across eachother. and those were the type of people that worried her. 

“i just wanted him to ask you some questions,” he finally said, his arms lightly raising as if to caution her more than himself, “just some questions, nothing dangerous.”

“questions can be dangerous,” she mumbled quickly, her arms beginning to hurt from the position she had been holding for so long and uncomfortably. 

“not the ones he was asking.”

“then why didn't you ask them yourself?” she quirked a brow, “you seem to know you were going to get your friend killed but if you knew your questions weren't dangerous how come you didn't ask them yourself?”

she stumped him, he pursed his lips while exhaling audibly through his nose, “i’ve been watching you, i knew you would've shot before he had sat down, and look at that, i was right.”

she was caught off guard, her posture and hold on the gun slightly weakening as she narrowed her brows at him, her jaw clenching. that was her worst nightmare, being watched, but it had never actually happened before because she was good at what she did, she was silent and could sense things very easily. apparently not as well as she thought. 

“I've been watching you,” he repeated, licking his lips slightly and quickly, “i think you can help me-”

“why would i help you?-”

“because i’ll kill you if you don’t.”

she scoffed, slightly tilting her head to the side while her eyes were closed a bit, “that’d be really nice wouldn't it?” she lowered her gun, turning her back to him, no longer perceiving him as a threat, not as a big one anyways, if he wanted to kill her, he would’ve already, if he wanted to hurt her, he would’ve done that the moment she shot his friend or even during the moments he had been supposedly watching her.

what he said was a stupid thing to say. 

“dying is a luxury not all of us are privileged with,” she mumbled, looking back up at the blanketed sky full of bright stars that could light up a room like a lamp, “you’re gonna have to come up with a better threat if you want me to help you.”

he presses his lips together, watching athena discreteetly before rubbing his face in frustration while tipping on the back of his heel. the man before her was not used to rejection, and athena could tell even with her back turned to him.

“you’re athena,” he mumbles, saying it precisely as if he was about it give her a whole speech, already having a new plan. 

he was hoping to pull this one out later, but he hadn't planned to be practically laughed at after his key sentence that was supposed to start it all, I'm going to kill you. 

it made her freeze, tightening her grip on the gun she still had in her hand. 

her name, how the fuck did he know that?

him knowing her name seemed to be scarier than the threat of death. 

“you’re athena, and you’ve been alone for how many days now?”

he continued to stare at the back of her head, waiting for her to just turn around with the shocked expression he just knew she had on. just waiting for her to turn around so he could redeem himself, so he could have the upper hand once again.

but the truth was, he never did have the upper hand. if he wanted it, he would have had a gun pointed to the back of her head, he would have been the one to confront her instead of using that poor skeleton man already bound for death. 

athena was always the one with the upper hand. the hand gun now once again pointed to him, her body turned just as he wished but not with the expression he had expected. 

she glared, her eyes in slits as she was just daring him to make a move. 

“you leave me alone now,” she whispered, her voice filled with so much will and power that he couldn't mistake it for anything else, “i don’t care who you are or how you know my name, just get the hell away from me before i blow your brains out.”

trying to survive. bellamy blake x reader

summary: in which being bellamy’s best friend can cause a lot of trouble especially when it’s known camp wide and especially when there’s a fugitive on the loose  

warning/s:  swearing, season one asshole murphy, bellamy almost dying, hurt feelings, off script because i don’t remember like anything from season one

slater’s note: WOOHOO BELLAMY SZN

“where’s bellamy?”

octavia froze at the sound of your voice, her back slightly straightening up as her hand gripped the walkie in her hand tighter. you could see the strain in her knuckles as they turned white, causing you to furrowed your eyebrows, walking closer to her, trying to get sight of her eyes, but she had them closed, tightly, and she didn’t want to open them.

“y/n...”

“octavia, where’s bellamy?”

she had finally opened them up with a sigh, peaking into your own with hesitation and nervousness. it made your facial features tighten together with the sudden pain filling feeling in your stomach. 

it couldn’t be good. something was definitely wrong with the way octavia seemed to have made no move to unscrew her mouth—but instead made her eyes speak for her. they slowly dragged from yours to the drop ship where the door was closed. 

“what's going on?” you shifted away from her slowly, eyes beginning to search the small crowd that filled around the drop ship, all equally uneasy. “where's bellamy?”

“murphy’s back.” 

you frowned deeply at the answer coming from a boy who stared at you anxiously, like saying those words would set you off. it only led you deeper into your confusion before you began to connect two and two together, your eyes immediately falling back in line with the metal machine.

“murphy, open up!” you had stormed closer, banging your fist against the usual large opening that was now closed, shielding away any activity that took place inside, most likely including harm towards your best friend. 

murphy smirked from the inside, looking to bellamy who froze, his eyes slowly glazing up the drop ship door. 

it was a bad idea.

bellamy almost begged for murphy to ignore your calls, shaking his head with hard eyes that said he would regret it if he made a move to open up that metal door.

“murphy, don’t.”

“murphy let me in!”

he smirked, his eyes going back and forth between the two of you before finalizing on bellamy, “you forget, bellamy,” he smirked, “i’m the one in charge here.”

murphy then lifted his walkie, “i’ll let her in, just make her drop her weapons.”

octavia abruptly glanced down at the walkie she had at hand, her stomach beginning to twist again as she looked back up to you. your eyes met and you dropped nothing despite holding a small knife in the back of your belt.

she nodded to you, hesitant, before speaking in the walkie talkie, “she's ready.” 

“no, murphy, don’t open that goddamn door,” bellamy’s look hardened, “she didn’t do anything, please.”

he smirked, “i like it when you beg, bellamy... makes me feel powerful.”

he slapped the button to open the drop ship door, not breaking his eye contact with bellamy who clenched his jaw, glaring.

“awh, princess, nice of you to join us, go sit down by your pal bellamy,” he held the gun loosely, pointing at you to the spot he wanted you at. it made you raise your hands quickly in response, almost flinching away from him even though he was no where close to you. it made him smile in response, “what, did your parents hit you as a kid? go sit down.”

you glanced to bellamy, who was trying not to break the blank expression on his face, trying to hide the fact that he cared so much. bellamy’s feelings and emotions could only get him in so much more trouble from here on out.

“now tie these up,” he tossed a bunch seatbelts towards bellamy after once again closing the drop ship door. “i want you to tie her up so she can watch you hang.”

you glanced up to the boy who looked down to you before looking to the seatbelts in his hands, gripping them tightly for a moment before looking back to you.

when you landed on earth, you were attracted to bellamy right away and the big brother atmosphere he gave off... and even though he already had a younger sister, he took you in like another. he was the fastest friend you had ever made—well the only one actually. he made stupid decisions but he did it all in thought for his own safety... for your safety.

you were his right hand man.

you stared up to the man with helpless eyes, you couldn’t give him anything and he almost winced back because of it. he almost had expected you to have a plan, but with marching in here without a gun and only going by the second, you couldn’t offer anything. and the knife hidden within your belt could only go so far. 

“i want you to hang, bellamy.”

“murphy, listen-“ you spoke fast in fear but were cut off fast.

“shut up,” murphy spoke quickly, practically lashing out and over into your direction, “i’m tired of you having your bitch talk for you, trying to get you out of shit that you're bound to end up in.”

fast into your friendship you caught up onto feelings that you didn’t see coming. you devoted yourself to him because of it, because you were practically in love with the boy—and blind. but it felt wrong... and you figured you wouldn’t do anything about the feelings, not wanting to risk anything. 

murphy sighed as he analyzed the two of you all paused from making any moves, staring right back at him in caution, “get tying before i shoot.”

you looked back up to bellamy right away, watching him begin to tie slowly before kneeling down before you. you almost shook your head frantically in disagreement, knowing if he tied you up it’d put you in a worser situation than you already were in. 

he gave you a pointed look in return, “trust me.”

you practically stared at him in disbelief but relentlessly gave up, slowly giving him your hands paired together. what could he possibly do now? 

“behind the back, bellamy,” murphy dumbfounded, “none of that bullshit.”

you could see a visible cringe as bellamy looked back up from the tying, clenching his jaw before moving behind you. he pulled your arms gently and began to tie once more with nervous hands.

murphy’s eyes connected with yours in the process and a sudden smirk came upon his face as if remembering something. you wouldn’t lie—it scared you the moment he tipped his jaw up and spoke, “let’s tell a story, one i think you’ll like, y/n. it’s about your friend bellamy.”

you could feel the boy freeze from behind you, looking up from his work, glaring with being unknowing to this story.

“not really a story just—i mean i don’t know enough so i think bellamy should tell it himself,” he finally met eyes with him, “how was fucking reyes?”

of course.

of fucking course he knew.

“i can’t remember if this was before or after you found out y/n likes you?” he tipped his head in an increase of confidence, “remind me, i’m foggy on all the details.”

you felt your chest tighten uncomfortably to the point you swore it’d explode—break—crack—cause you further pain, but it stayed in the same repetitive strain that made you choke.

“alright, that’s enough,” bellamy stood.

“woah, woah, since when did i say you could stand. sit back down blake,” he moved toward bellamy as well, challenging him while making it obvious that he still held that gun. “now fill our friend in, i’m sure she’d love to know.”

you gaze up to him, suppressing any emotion to overcome your face. you couldn’t even fess up what you even felt. bellamy looked down to you, a look of sympathy striking his features before looking back up to murphy, “this doesn’t need to happen.”

“it’s too late for that,” he nodded, sure of himself, his face going blank but his eyes filling with anger, “you know on second thought, i want you to hang now,” he nodded toward the noose that was already tied and hung perfectly with a stool underneath it.

“go on,” he nodded again and bellamy had no choice but to take a step onto the stool and place his head through the rope of seatbelts after a long period of hesitation and looking between you and murphy.

“murphy, please,” your eyes went wide at him, sporting an innocences that looked strange on you. “don’t do this.”

“why shouldn’t i?” he seemed to slant back, looking amused, “huh, y/n? i mean you seem to know bellamy so well, why don’t you enlighten me. why should i let your boyfriend live?”

you kept your mouth shut with finding no valid reason as to why murphy would let bellamy live. what he did was unforgivable and if you were in murphy’s position, you would have allowed your anger to get the best of you and…

“look, murphy, i understand that you’re feeling angry right now-“

“understand?” he scoffed, moving closer to you before bending down so his face was close to yours, “you don’t even remotely understand what i feel right now.”

he was so on edge and unstable that you could see it through his pupils. he wanted revenge—you’d have to be dumb to not realize it, but there was something else. he was spiraling, his mind was racing, and you could see his emotions leaking from little spaces on his face.

“this won’t help, murphy, believe me. having bellamy hang won’t help you feel any better.”

“i think it will,” he smiled blandly, “see, me and bellamy, we’re not the same,” he shook his head, looking off a little. “you may be able to convince bellamy of anything, but not me. you can’t get him out of this one.”

“you want to bet?” you finally untangled yourself from the tie around your wrists that you had been working in for the past couple of minutes, reaching forward and stabbing the knife from your belt in his shoulder.

it had to be luck or just amazing timing because the minute murphy shrunk back, grabbing his arm where the weapon stuck out, octavia came rushing in as did the rest of the camp, ready to put him down.

**

“i need to talk to you,” bellamy’s rough hand clasped your shoulder from where you sat on the drop ship table, waiting for clarke to come back. his touch made you tense up before slightly easing back into a slouch, looking up to the man who had a look on his face you were unfamiliar with.

“okay,” you look at him curiously, hoping off the surface of the table before moving with him toward the corner.

he seems hesitant, his eyes not meeting yours as he thinks of how to speak without overstepping on something, “i need you to understand that i would never hurt you,” he looks at you sadly, his eyes piercing yours, wanting you to listen and understand even if you shouldn’t. “i didn’t think and i will forever regret that, especially after today.”

you hated that you had to listen to his apology, mainly because you felt you hadn’t even had enough time to process it all.

“i take you for granted,” his lips pressed into a thin line and his hand reached for your forearm, grasping it lightly. “i care about you, a lot.” his stare is pointed and hard, almost as if forcing you to understand this, to accept this, “i’m sorry.”

“bellamy, you don’t-“

“you saved my ass today,” he cut you off, seeming to ignore you completely while changing his tone. “again.”

you stared at him with a lost expression and he finally looked at you, finally, with a look that’d you accept. he stared at you softly, smiling hopelessly, before leaning in toward you, pressing a kiss on your cheek, “i’ll forever be in debt to you.”

masterlist

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @myalupinblack @cc13723things @Uselesssapphickitten @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @itzstacie @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @dayanaralight @nyx3028 @hizziestial

spiraling.

pairings. bellamy blake x fem!reader

about. bellamy saves your ass, again.

warnings. foul language, murder

ricky rocks. follow me lol, i’m cool

“what’s wrong?” you were drawn away from your thoughts, glancing to raven. her hands tightly gripped the steering wheel of the rover while looking to you in a slightly anxious manner. “you haven’t spoken the whole ride.”

kane had gotten a call about twenty minutes ago about there being a breach and half the guard team was already gone. there was no one to cover the call except you. 

“i got this,” you were already slinging on your guard jacket before kane could say anything, he had never intended on you hearing the beep in but there you were with your eager eyes and ease dropping ears. 

he frowned, shaking his head, “no, it’s too dangerous out there.”

you looked at kane dumbfounded, your frown curving deeper into your cheeks making you look older and increasing the darkness within your features, “i can handle myself out there.”

he knew you could, he wasn’t worry about that. kane was more concerned about reasons he wasn’t about to speak aloud, especially to your face in fear of risking setting you off.

“you’re not going.”

“kane,” you gave him a pointed look, shoving your gun in the loop of your belt. you continued to defy him, causing his stomach to wrench up, he didn’t want to yell at you. “i can handle myself out there.”

“if you go,” he began to slowly cave from his original statement, leaning against the metal table separating the two of you, “i want someone out there with you.”

“bellamy isn’t here.”

bellamy was always your scout partner when either one of you were sent out of arkadia to scope out whatever needed to be scoped out. both of you would have been well enough without one another but it was always nice to have company, especially company like bellamy’s.

“you’re going with me, sweetheart,” raven appeared out of nowhere, patting your back as she begun to climb in the driver seat of the rover with a slight struggle due to her leg. 

you almost resisted the urge to clench your jaw too hard. you loved raven but you would have really preferred to take this trip alone, especially after what had happened last time; you were with miller, completely throwing you off due to him having a completely different style when it came to scouting arkadia outer grounds than bellamy. 

bad things happened.

“bellamy?” you had turned head rather fast, now holding eye contact with the hazel eyed girl, her nervousness had eased off as if coming to the conclusion to your quietness. 

“what?” “you'd rather be with bellamy, right?” “i’d rather be by myself,” you grumbled, sulking deeper into the passenger seat. you felt guilty for doing so, raven had nothing to do with your own problems but you really would rather be alone with how everyone had been treating you recently.

“too bad.”

once you had arrived upon the breach you had gotten out of the car rather fast with your hand clutching the hand gun looped with your belt tightly, making it hard for raven to keep up, seeing the determination within your steps.

“slow down, cowgirl,” she yelled after you, almost tripping multiple times as she tried to increase her pace. “there’s no rush.”

“this is ice nations sector, reyes,” you called back, “there is no time to slow down.”

you broke through a large section of trees and branches soon revealing a scene that took you by surprise. it made you raise your gun just as quick as you had gasped.. and soon raven ended up in the same position of surprisal.

before the two of you, bellamy and octavia were knocked out propped up against a tree tied together while a man who’s face was painted white pointed his staff toward you in threat. you kept your composure at the sight with your gun still held in height of his head.

“don’t shoot.”

“you’re not helping.”

“y/n, don’t. don’t do something dumb,” her voice rang through your ears and you suddenly felt hot and your head felt light with pressure spiking, making the rest of your body feel numb. “y/n?”

“reyes, go.”

“you’re about to do something you’re going to regret.”

“you’re about to do something you’re going to regret.”

your vision cleared and became leveled with a man from trikru. his smile was strange and split and made your head spin with uncomfortableness.

he had you surrounded. you and miller.

“you’re not going to shoot me.”

“try me,” you narrowed your brows as you looked between him and to the men next to him, as you were sure miller was doing the same but to the men he was facing. the two of you were back to back, guns raised high in defense.

“we don’t mean any harm,” miller’s voice butts in and he tries to reason as his voice calls to the man you were talking to. you clenched your jaw, miller was almost making you both look foolish. “just let us go.”

“oh i’ll let you go. it’s her that’s gotta stay.”

“i’ll shoot you.”

“those are some powerful words,” he shifts towards you and you’re quick to cock the gun. he flinches but smiles as he still makes small movements toward you till you just… shot him, setting off a chain reaction of the rest of the men launching toward you.

and bang, bang, bang—three more bodies dead on the ground with your simple aim and no hesitation.

miller only injured the other two with a look on his face that you wouldn’t forget. he looked at you with an almost petrified expression—one that read he couldn’t believe what you had just done.

“we need to go.”

“we need to go.”

you were being shaken lightly until your eyes pealed open fast, meeting the feeling of bellamy’s hand lightly holding your face with an urgent look on his own, looking all around before back to your face, “c’mon, get up, kid. we’ve got to go.”

he pulls you to your feet fast where raven and octavia are already hauling it to the rover and the man from ice nation laid on the ground, dead.

“please tell me that wasn’t me.”

“don’t worry,” bellamy gripped your arm while pushing you to go faster toward the rover. right before the man knocked octavia and him out, it wasn’t just him, there was at least two more. they must have gone scavenging, leaving that man to himself, which in hindsight wasn’t smart at all to leave one against two.

“you passed out,” raven looked back to you from her position in the drivers seat. “i think you’re under a lot of stress.”

no kidding.

you glanced to bellamy who was already looking to you and you half expected him to lecture you, like he always did, especially with the look on his face. he was always so adamant with keeping yourself stable, to take breaks, and make sure you were always alright—especially when situations got tough. but right now he didn’t, he kept his mouth shut.

you and bellamy were very similar. he knew it too and it scared him, because he didn’t want any of the things that ran through his mind, going through your own. you were both very self destructive and that wasn’t something he realized until mount weather—a point in time where he learned a lot about you.

“what’re we going to do?” octavia looked to raven who was still breathless, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

she could barely think straight without her mind straying to ten minutes before, “we go to kane, we tell him what happened and we continue on with our day. this isn’t the first time irrational decisions have gotten the best of us.”

she resisted looking at you, but she didn’t have to in order for you to know she was halfway referring to you.

you tipped your head back in despair, wishing you could redo the past month.

* *

“explain to me how a scouting mission ends up with someone dead,” you bit your tongue, already feeling a harsh lecture coming as kane stared at raven gingerly who was barely keeping her composure. she was very fiery whenever it came to discussions like this and defending her own, but the dead body must have thrown her off.

“listen, bellamy and octavia were both in danger-“

“doesn’t give us a right to kill ice nation’s people. our pact with them is barely hanging on by a thread.”

“we didn’t mean for this to happen, kane,” you spoke, defending raven from the rouse he was pressuring her with, but you instantly regretted it when he looks to you, like he hadn’t even noticed you yet.

“you killed four grounders, y/n. you understand that right? and now you go and kill someone apart of ice nation. do you understand what that does to us?” kane’s expression and words catch you off gaurd and causes your chest to tighten. he was never someone you expected to be so jarring. he had been giving you the benefit of the doubt for the past month, so seeing him snap so fast took you aback. “you’ve become unhinged. you don’t think straight anymore.”

“she didn’t kill him,” bellamy takes a step in front of you out of instinct.

“then who did?” he raises his voice, “because i’m looking between all four of you right now and only one of you is coming out as a valid option.”

“it was all three of us,” octavia speaks, “y/n, got knocked out before she could do anything. like you said, she hasn’t been thinking straight lately because she’s been under a lot of pressure.”

you could tell kane didn’t believe a word she said by the way he paused, clenching his jaw. it was looking like they were only trying to cover for you right now, and you couldn’t blame him.

“i can’t deal with this right now, we’ll talk about this later.”

* *

“he’s going to kick me from camp.”

you sat on bellamy’s bed as he begun to change from his disoriented attire from earlier that day. after abby had patched him up from the gash he had on the side of his head and made sure you were still doing alright, you both begun to talk about the past month, essentially leading back to kane.

you felt you hadn’t seen bellamy in forever, and it was practically true due to kane setting you both up with different guard partners and assigning you both to tasks at different times for the past five weeks. hence, how you got mixed up with miller in the first place.

it was almost as if it was purposeful…

“he’s not going to kick you from camp.”

“he has no reason not to.”

“y/n, why would he?”

“i killed people, bellamy,” you looked at him, dumbfounded. “for no reason.”

“for good reason,” he corrected you, now kneeling before you. “kane is under a lot of pressure right now, and what happened to you didn’t help. he’s worried about a lot of things, and he doesn’t want to worry about you.”

“he said i’m unhinged.”

“we all are,” he squeezed your knee, getting back to his feet. “you need to stop worrying. you did nothing wrong today.”

“what do you think he’s going to say later?” you questioned.

“stop worrying, princess,” he gave you a pointed look. “what’s the worse that can happen?”

* *

“i don’t want either of you to be partners, you’re both bad for each other. i’ve realized that now for the past two months,” kane folded his hands, delivering the worse news before you and bellamy. “y/n, i was in between full suspension and five week suspension from your position, it’s up to you.”

you looked a kane with narrowed brows, completely dumbfounded and not knowing what to say. you should have seen it coming, he had been preparing the two of you for this by scheduling you both different times and you felt like a fool for not realizing it till now.

“kane, that is irrational,” bellamy shook his head, “we’re both your best and you’re going to risk it over her messing up once. i can hardly see how we’re bad for each other, when we get things done better than any one else on the guard.”

“once is enough.”

you frowned hard, “the only reason i messed up was because i was with miller. because you scheduled me with him. bellamy is not the reason i shot trikru. miller just threw me off because i’m not used to the way he clears.”

kane shook his head, “you shouldn’t be like that. you’re a guard, y/n, you should be prepared for anything, not ‘thrown off’ just because miller runs a totally different route than you and bellamy.”

you couldn’t believe him, “you can’t be serious. kane, you have my answer, you can implement a full suspension.. or whatever,” you rolled your eyes, getting to your feet but bellamy’s quick to pull you back down in your seat.

“she gets a different partner or full suspension, you can expect the same thing from me,” he pressed his lips into a thin line knowing kane wouldn’t accept that. bellamy was the best they had, and without him, the ark would most likely fail.

“you can’t do that,” kane shakes his head, “bellamy.”

“then you fix this,” he still held your wrist as he spoke with a stern tone, “you suspend her five weeks, but you keep her as my partner, you schedule us same time like how it used to be. otherwise you lose the both of us.”

bellamy didn’t understand how kane didn’t realize that you were only under the right mindset when with him. you were irrational with unfamiliarity, its something about that, that freaked you out, but with bellamy, there was a level of control and focus that he could only bring.

kane looked hesitant, glancing between the two of you before focusing on bellamy, “you keep her tame then.”

a deal was made. you were kept partners with bellamy but you still couldn’t help but be angered by the way they spoke like you weren’t there. you were happy with the outcome and you were sure the only reason it happened was because bellamy did all the talking.

“you owe me.”

you rolled your eyes, “you did yourself a favor.”

bellamy scoffed, his eyebrow curving, “really?”

“you know you couldn’t survive a day without me on the job.”

“funny,” he shook his head, “because i was thinking the same thing about you.”

you smiled, but hesitated, “thank you. you saved my ass, again.”

“you’re good, you just owe me,” he winked, “now get ready for your shift.”

navigation.

death era.

part three of n/a.

ricky rocks. okay now the story is going to get moving.

“hey, hey, relax.”

the light shimmering of sun peaking through the forest trees flooded into athena’s eyesight like anguish. her head throbbed and all she could get out was a groan while her body rolled slightly around on the forest floor in attempt to bring her back to life and recreate feeling within her limbs.

her eyes squinted into slits as the feeling of sleep wore off into the ground and reality hit her harder than bellamy did. he didn’t kill her like he said he would, she was alive, and she could really feel it now. 

she struggled in her position, a feeling of paranoia striking her fast as she half expected bellamy would be right there to watch her become accustomed to the blow to her head and the large deep cut swelling in her right shoulder—she almost thought it was him who had pressure on the wound.

but she was mistaken, it was a girl. 

that’s all athena could make out as she tried her best to adjust her eyesight on the girl with the half-assed lift of her head.

“steady yourself there, blue,” a groan once again resonated from athena’s mouth as the girl moved back a bit, more sunlight flooding into her sight and more pain as the girl pressed harder onto her shoulder causing blood to leak out beneath her hands. 

“someone sliced you huh,” she tilted her head a bit, more or so mumbling to herself as she examined athena a little more, pursing her lips. “smacked you across the head too.”

athena only grunted in reply, her eyes rolling into the back of her head at the pain. the girl grabbed her forehead, tilting it back and forth and up and down, trying to see where the blood of the wound on her head resonated from. 

“i need to patch you up,” she huffs, “you're gonna need stitches on that shoulder of yours and i don’t even know what to do about the rest of you.”

the girl clicked her tongue, sitting back, letting go of athena’s shoulder hesitantly while she made a move to her pack, but she heard the click of a gun making her tightly close her eyes in regret. it was difficult to find good trusting people anymore, even ones that were injured, they always seemed to be the most hesitant. 

“who are you?” athena pushed past the urge to wince as she had increased the pain in her shoulder. the gun bellamy had used to knock her out had been left graciously a little ways up and past her head. 

“octavia,” she had her hands raised as she turned back around slowly, “my name is octavia and i just want to help you, okay?”

“no one just wants to help,” athena mumbled, just barely coughing her words out.

“listen, i don’t care what you think, but you need stitches, and the bullet in your leg pulled out.”

“what?-”

bam. 

being knocked upside the head twice in a day was not healthy, especially for someone in the condition athena was in. octavia wasn't sure how the girl had such a strong hold up still, she knew she’d probably be a mess if she had a cut deep in need of stitches and a bullet stuck in her thigh, but the thing was, athena was out of conscious, if she wanted to scream, she couldn't have. 

when athena woke up, she felt like she couldn’t move. she felt as if her thigh had tons of bricks inside of it, weighing her down to the forest floor. the realization that bellamy also shot her hit her hard; what was the point? to slow her down? to let her slowly bleed out and die? that being him feeling less guilty with the possibly that she’d survive?

athena felt like she was about to throw up, her eyes twitched in pain when her shoulder took over most of her thoughts, pain was the only thing bouncing around in that head of hers. 

octavia, the girl who knocked athena in the head, also the girl who had saved her from bleeding out, sat a couple feet away, rummaging through something. it made athena swallow when she just barely raised her head to peak. 

octavia was going through her pack. that alone would have set athena off but she couldn't do much from the position she was in, and this girl saved her after all.

“i’d really appreciate it if you didn’t mess with my things,” she gazed up at the darkening sky, her stomach rummaging around in anxiousness as well as pain, “it’s rude.”

octavia froze, but then relaxed when realizing the girl couldn't do anything, even if she tried. “just trying to figure out who you are,” she mumbled, flipping through a book, a journal, but it wasn't athenas, part of it wasn't anyways. 

“hate to break it to you, but i’m a nobody.”

“you must be a somebody if you can get ahold of an m4 carbine,” she mumbled again, before putting away the journal without much examination, sliding over to where athena began to get up. 

“how’d you get a military gun?”

“they’re not hard to steal.”

“yeah but they’re hard to find, they’re rare and fucking dangerous.”

“how do you know that?”

the pair of young girls stare into each other's eyes for a good moment, each studying one another. there's more than met the surface, and the both of them knew it.

“that journal, it keeps track of hits, but most of them aren't recent... that isn't yours, is it?” 

oh. so she did study it. 

“how do you know so much about the m4?”

“where did you get it?”

“at a base off the interstate.”

“which one.”

“i don’t remember.”

“okay,” octavia’s face laid blank but there was still a layer of skepticism that littered her brows as they were slightly pinched together. she knew. “can i ask why you were bleeding out when i found you?”

“some prick-” she slightly gasped as she adjusted her position, “decided to let me suffer instead of kill me like he promised.”

“why?”

athena cringed, slightly turning her head, “i wouldn’t give him what he wanted.”

octavia didn’t push on from there.

“when’s the last time you ate?”

"why do you want to help me so bad?"

"because human decency is hard to find and i know if i was in the exact position you're in, i'd want help."

oh.

athena didn't say anything in return because she couldn't agree. octavia, this girl before her, was a better person than she was. in todays world, it was everyone for themselves.

"now, when's the last time you ate?"

**

"why are you alone?" for the past hour athena were trying your best to ease into the presence of octavia and her strangely positive attitude. she were propped against a tree, sitting across from the girl as she seemed to of been tying pieces of grass to one another.

"i have people," she spoke, her tone a lot lower than it had been before. it was like instantly her mood had dropped and she was now dejected. "we got split up."

"so, you're alone now."

"but with reason."

"with reason?" athena arched a brow, examining her closely now.

"i'm looking for someone."

"the rest of your group?"

"no," she shook her head, "see, half our group was split in half, and i got split from them."

athena didn't press on. there was something about this topic that was obviously upsetting and the girl wasn't as up for talking about it as anything else. athena was also finding it difficult to talk to her in the first place, it seemed she was almost hiding something with how restricting she was with her words now.

"do you have people?"

stupid question.

"no."

"why not?"

athena had to be careful answering this. she had many reasons as to not trusting people, not to be in a collective group, but saying the wrong thing could place a bad atmosphere on the both of them, "most of the people around here are dead."

"and the live ones?"

"usually want to kill me... if you couldn't tell."

she lightly smiles, and silence settles over as the both of them thought. she wanted to say something, athena could tell, but she was hesitant, "my people aren't like that."

"what are they like?" athena shouldn't have been entertaining the idea, she knew that, she knew where octavia was going with that statement.

"you should find out."

athena shook her head, "you don't have to do that."

"do what?"

"offer me a position in your group. you've already done enough for me," she internally cringed at her sweet words, "if anything, i owe you."

"then help me find them," her voice sounds slight enlightened as an idea pops into her head.

"what?"

"help me find them, pay me back that way."

shit.

"octavia-"

"athena, you said it yourself, you owe me and what's holding you back from doing so?" she was now drawing closer to her, "listen, i stay with you for a week, help you heal, and when you can walk, you help me, deal?"

she's now right next to her, making it hard for her to look anywhere but at octavia. everything was screaming at her to not agree, to stick to her ground rules. but something overruled that power as she starred deeper into octavia’s eyes and saw something she hasn’t seen in a long time; hope.

"deal."

navigation.

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death era.

part four of n/a.

ricky rocks. no bellamy fans out there 😐

two weeks.

athena was losing her mind and she had learned an awful lot about some girl she barely knew in the first place. she was crazy, that was her first thought because there was no way someone was as determined and positive as she was in the midst of an apocalypse.

days counted down, leading nearer and nearer to when she’d have to pay up. which was something that athena dreaded. ever since her hostile encounter with bellamy, she felt sick to her stomach at the thought of putting herself in the position of encountering more strangers.

the only thing that kept her stable? ironically was the same thing driving her insane; octavia.

even if the girl was quite strange, athena found comfort in her presence and she relieved her from the pain that was graced upon her body within the last three weeks. athena almost forgot about the weight of death that was constantly weighting on her everyday.

but now, since the bullet wound was on the edge of fully healing and the cut seared into her shoulder was beginning to fully scar over; she was on the move.

the woods seemed so abnormally cloudy than usual. cloudy and cold. athena could barely see three feet in front of her.

athena was on the top of her senses as she looked around the barely visible landscape; her lips pressed into a thin line, thinking over all the possibilities of dying right in that moment. there were a lot, all varying from tripping over a log and smashing your skull on a rock to unintentionally finding a walker. 

she glanced over to octavia who looked around in a less tense movement than her; her eyes closing with some form of content as she seemed to be consuming the cold air that seeped into her pores. she welcomed the unfamiliarity that surrounded them. it made athena uneasy and even a little bothered by the way she seemed so.. happy. 

“i have a feeling...”

“you said that half an hour ago,” athena gave her a pointed look, as if telling her whatever she was thinking, it wasn’t going to work out.

“have faith, little goddess,” her lips turned upwards into a small smile, eyebrows raising up as if returning her the rough look but with softer eyes.

athena ignored her, focusing back in front of the path she walked, careful not run into a hidden tree or trip over a log. walkers were the least of their worries at that moment.

“you sure this is where you came from?”

athena was leery that of octavia in this sense. they were wandering far from the road and in a maze of trees that you couldn’t tell apart from any other part of the woods. she didn’t understand how the girl found any of it familiar.

“just trust me, athena.”

“yeah, i’m having a hard time with that,” she mumbled to herself, stepping carefully over a thick fallen tree, not looking for really anything specific.

“just relax.”

“yeah, i’m also having a hard time with that as well.”

octavia resists to the action to roll her eyes too hard at her hard headed friend. the past two weeks had been frustrating on octavia’s end and her patience had been wearing so thin due athena’s untrusting and almost hostile nature.

it was obvious athena has problems revolving around communicating and the presence of a caring person, but it was understanding—you couldn’t trust people during this time. but with how much octavia had proved herself to be a good person—and athena was still so conflicting with her existence, it had become hard not to just drop everything and ditch her for the dead.

octavia wondered if athena was always like that, even in the before.

“you really think they’d wait-“

the sound of light cackling made athena stop her speaking, her eyes going everywhere at once. the sound was so startling for she hadn’t heard a laugh like that for awhile. her heart was throwing itself up in her throat as she clasped her gun tightly, senses turned up more than ever.

octavia had stopped walking as well, her eyes gliding across the white misty blanket in front of them carefully, almost hoping to see past it in hopes of matching the cackle with a form or face. but she wasn’t unnerved, she had almost heard a laugh like that every day of her life, especially after the apocalypse. 

the laugh rose through the air again, bouncing against the trees and ripping through the fog, reaching the two girls once again making octavia widen her eyes, her back straightening in realization. 

“murphy.”

“what—wait octavia, where are you going?”

athena’s eyes widen as she watched the girl take off into the blinding wall of white, her small form disappearing fast, making athena’s heart pick up and chest tighten, completely at a lost as to what had just happened before her eyes. 

“octavia!”

she knew she shouldn’t have yelled, she didn’t know why she did either because once octavia found her people, she would never have to deal with any living, conscious person ever again.

and if octavia wanted to run off into the fog, that’d make it faster and easier for athena to carry on.

but something had begun to eat away at athena’s mind the moment octavia took her fast step towards the unknown laugh. she owed it to not only the girl herself, but to octavia’s people to keep the girl alive and well, despite her being a pain in the ass.

it was hard to keep up with curiosity.

“‘tavia!”

athena’s word froze out into the open air as she breathed roughly, her stride increasing in speed and length as she continued to chase the girl through the milky woods. it begun to hurt, worse that ever. she felt as if the stitches in her shoulder would pop or the wound in her thigh would start bleeding with her feat hitting the unknown trek roughly and harshly. it was the all too quick, and hesitant movement that pained her. 

“oct-“

her body slammed into the back of another, almost knocking to the ground of crisp leaves.

“they’re here...” she whispered, her figure stable to the ground in such a calm manner as if she hadn’t taken off so fast and unexpected moments ago, “i can feel it.”

athena stared at octavia blatenly with her mouth opened wide in a dumbfounded manner, “are you fucking crazy?” she wanted to smack the girl on the back of the head, but didn't die to still being so shocked. 

“octavia?”

athena freezes, turning around quickly to see a figure emerging from the fog. a girl, with loose strands of brown hair flying everywhere from the ponytail she had in. she seemed to be out of breath like she had been sprinting just like the two of them, her chest heaving up and down drastically.

“octavia, oh my god,” she scoffs happily, rushing to the girl before wrapping her arms around her tightly, “we thought you were dead.”

athena stares silently, holding her gun awkwardly till her hears the mumble of words from octavia, i’m not thanks to her.

she shook her head, still not understanding what was happening, nor processing it as quick as the ditz before her. how did they just... find each other? athena looked away from the pair, her eyes immediately landing onto more figures that began to become more and more visible from the fog.

athena raises her gun rather fast out of caution when two figures slow out of their running stance, quickly raising their hands in caution as well as shock. 

“woah there kid,” a boy says quickly, eyeing her up and down, before landing flat on her gun, his eyes lighting up for a split moment.

“athena, it’s them,” octavia puts herself between athena and the boy, pushing the weapon away from them quickly, “my people.”

athena tilts her head back, as if steadily leaning her body away from the black haired girl unsurely, tightening her grip on the rifle. she wasn't too sure about this. too many people, too many unknown faces. 

“yeah, people, ever seen them before?” the boy raised his eyebrows, laying his hand on the barrel of the gun, pointing in downward, almost mocking her, “looks like you’ve lived in a hole for the past six years.”

“you don’t look any better pal,” the girl besides him mumbles, speaking for the first time as her eyes observed the landscape. she seemed unsettled and hesitant with where they were located, like there were something wrong—but not at all concerned as to who athena was.

athena kept her gaze on the dirty blonde haired girl, analyzing her carefully before the girl returns her own gaze. she seemed to hold a cautious stare when looking at athena and maybe it was because of the gun she was holding.

“i knew you’d wait up murphy,” octavia says, holding a proud smirk on her face as she looked up to the boy who had a couple inches on her.

“not like it was my choice,” he said, “can’t control mother nature.”

athena slightly winced at the sass in his voice and statement, implying he would’ve left if the fog hadn’t been holding them up, but octavia didn’t seem to be bothered for she wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tightly with a satisfied smile. 

murphy seemed to accept the embrace right away despite his seemingly negative behavior directed towards her.

it was sweet.

athena felt a sense of slight awkwardness as she stood, gripping her gun tightly. she hadn’t been around people for the longest time. octavia alone was hard enough to handle, she didn’t possibly know how to handle a whole group. so she returned her gaze back to the girl who stood next to murphy, who seemed to be continuing to analyze the layout of the forest, as if memorizing it, thinking of the best ways to find a way to guide through it.

“where’s bell?” octavia broke the silence, turning to the first girl who had shown through the fog, she only shrugged her shoulders, not really giving a concern to the person in mention.

“i don’t know, once i heard your voice, i took off,” she crossed her arms, seeming to set back into a mode of seriousness, but yet she didn’t seem so concerned. 

“i’m sure he’s close behind,” murphy mumbled, his expression now dull, lips pressed into a thin line, “if not, i’m sure it won’t be hard to find his large boot tracks.”

“so you guys just left him?”

“it’s not our fault he’s slow,” the other girl mumbled, her eyes now back on athena, analyzing her more. she realized she looked more annoyed than cautious. she looked smart, like she could be a tracker and her mind spoke more than her actual mouth.

“so you going to introduce your friend, or do we have to find out ourselves?” murphy sighed, looking back to athena who froze under mention.

“this is athena marrisen, found her in the woods on the look for bell,” octavia motioned to her, but athena didn’t move at all nor said anything.

everything was so off putting.

“so you go to look for your brother, but come back with a lost looking puppy who can barely hold her gun,” murphy looked athena up and down with a blank gaze, “great.”

“bellamy can handle himself, he found his way back to you guys, right?”

bellamy.

athena’s brows scrunched up as she looked up to octavia, but before she could say anything she heard the loud stomps of a heavy set of shoes. athena bit her lip, eyes on the ground as she begun to process things.

“bellamy, oh thank god.”

her eyes flew up to the man who emerged from the fog, dark curly locks, a red cut that begun to heal stretched across his cheek bone, his large built body making his way out of the blinding fog. her eyes widen, feet moving faster than her mind could process.

“you son of bitch,” she's quick to throw the large rifle to the ground, practically leaping towards the man, gripping his collar tightly, pressing the knife she pulled from her belt loop to his throat, “you fucking asshole.”

“you,” he finally processed who had him a knife point, his eyes widening before glaring quickly despite the layer of surprisal wrapping around his mind, “how the fuck are you alive?”

“really thought your bullet would kill me? i’m just trying to survive, remember?” she spits, pressing her knife harder against his throat.

“it wasn’t meant to kill you,” he spat back, “it was meant to make you suffer.”

“blue, let him go,” a sense of urgency in octavia’s voice filled athena’a ears as she grabs onto her shoulder lightly, not necessarily surprised bellamy had a knife to his throat, but confused as to why it was athena of all people. 

“you know her?” bellamy narrowed his brows, looking to octavia who was trying her best to pry athena off his neck.

“bellamy, you know her?”

“bellamy’s the one who put the bullet in my thigh.”

“yeah we got that already,” murphy was leaned against one of the trees barely surrounded in fog, completely unbothered and relaxed.

if bellamy’s throat was slit right in that moment—which there was a high percentage that’d happen—it wouldn’t bother murphy as much as the others. better bellamy than him. 

“raven,” bellamy’s eyes search for the girl who was leaned behind octavia, “get her off of me.”

the first girl to appear from the fog narrowed her brows, “wait, bellamy,” raven dumbfounds, inching closer to you, “this is the girl?”

“what girl?”

“bellamy said he may have had found the answers to all of our problems,” she smirks, leaning on the tips of her toes to see the side of athena’s face better.

it catches her off guard as she hesitantly looks as raven, her face slowly turning to meet the girls curious and smirky gaze. it was the wrong move to say less because right as she turned her cheek, bellamy had knocked athena to her ass.

a loud groan resonated past her lips as he now hovered over her with the knife now pressed into her throat, “maybe this time i won’t make the mistake-“

athena clocks him on the side of the head with her fist before he could finish his sentence, his stance becoming weaker but still hovered over her.

“bellamy, don’t kill her!”

but all of octavia’s yelling and pleading was only background noise as athena continue to bash away at the side of his head before finally brining her knee up between his legs, kneeing hard.

it causes him to groan loudly, curling into a ball by the side of her and it was like a routine now because she was now pointing the firearm he had in his belt loop at his temple, but it was like she forgot she was around his people, strangers. 

and athena of all people knew not to trust strangers.

the cautious girl, the girl who seemed smart; sent a blow to the side of her head, knocking athena out almost immediately. 

navigation.

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death era.

part five of n/a.

ricky rocks. hm.

“what do we do with her?”

it had been two hours since athena had been knocked out by echo for her to finally just begin to wake up from her position that was tied against a tree.

raven had them all huddled away from octavia who begun to comfort her with a flask full of water, a look of frustration on her face. it seemed once again raven was on damage control and she had no idea on how to clean this one up.

“she punched bellamy, that’s enough for me to agree to allow her to stay,” murphy mumbled from his sitting position against the log, looking back to athena who could barely keep her head up. “maybe she’ll keep him off his pedestal.” “murphy, you’re not helping,” raven rolled her eyes, now looking over to bellamy who was leaned against a tree, sharpening his knife, not seeming to care at the discussion that was taking place. “what do we do bellamy?”

he only shrugs.

“why is she here then, bellamy?” she extends her arm out, suppressing annoyance, “what’s so special about her that you had to shoot her?”

his eyes flicked up to raven’s fast like she had struck a nerve before looking back down to the piece of stick, “you’ll see.”

“that’s not an answer.”

“she is.”

raven’s brows narrowed at his answer, slightly shaking her head in frustration as well as annoyance to the trap mouth he suddenly had, “unbelievable.”

raven didn’t have time for this, none of them did. they had been traveling for over a week, getting no where, without bellamy due to his spontaneous idea to pursue something.

something being her to their realization. screw bellamy for being so vague, even in times of need.

“do you trust her?” echo questioned, her eyebrows quirked while folding her arms with an earnest look on her face that bellamy knew not to push or ignore.

“no,” bellamy breathes out, pursing his lips, “but i trust her anger and she’s got a lot of it.”

it made raven narrow her brows harder as she looked at the girl, studying her a little more then she had before.

athena hadn’t seemed like an angry person to her. more or so paranoid and cautious, like she was waiting for someone to ambush her. but sure, she must have had a lot of anger built up with the punch she gave bellamy, it just didn’t seem like she lived in it.

raven decided to agree, her face raising up, a sigh passing past her lips, knowing this would be the best answer they’d get, “alright.” bellamy had been stalking the girl for weeks before laying next to her and practically cracking her skull open.

there was no use arguing, she could leave that to octavia who seemed to always have a firey passion to put her brother in his place, wrong or right.

“once we hit terminus, we can split from her,” he mumbled, his eyes gliding across the makeshift campground they had set up, slightly leaning away from the tree as he was ready to put the conversation to it’s end, “i have a feeling there’s something there for her that she’s not talking about, we get what we want and she gets what she wants.”

“and what more exactly do we want… besides our people?”

“something that’s not this,” there’s a curve in his lips now making eye contact with all three of them, nodding. “i’m done moving around, i’m ready to settle.”

it made raven smile softly at the change in octive his voice became. he seemed more enthusiastic at the thought of a settled future, one he wouldn’t have to put much thought into, because his life would already be planned out for him. it was a strange tone for bellamy, but none of them minded it.

“well, what’s our next step?” murphy looked between them all, not exactly satisfied with the conversation. “how are we going to get her to cooperate when bimbo over here hasn’t exactly been the most gracious to her.”

“that’s where octavia comes in,” they all look the girl who was squatting in front of athena, offering her water.

“i didn’t realize my brother was the one who did this to you.”

“nor did i,” athena was extremely lax for what had just happened to her and it left octavia anxious. she half expected the girl to be squirming against her tied position against the tree, but she didn’t move an inch. “guess i should have expected it.”

“why?”

“you both had the same damn back stories and i didn’t realize that until now,” she looks at octavia, eating up her features. “not to mention, you look inexplicably alike.”

she wants to smile, but it feels inappropriate. she took pride in looking like her brother up until now.

“you’re not mad?” octavia’s brow reaches high in concern, “i mean not mad—what’s going through your mind?”

athena hesitates, her eyes going from octavia to the group of people that were conversating far in front of them, “i think your people are going to kill me in my sleep.”

she can’t tell if she’s joking or not.

bellamy suddenly approaches, now beginning to untie athena from the tree with no words. octavia watches him carefully from the position she’s squatted in, looking between athena, who held the same skeptic look, then back to him. once he had the ropes unbounded from her, he pulls athena to her feet.

“bell, what’re you doing?”

“making a plan,” he now grips the back of the light leather brown coat she wore, forcefully guiding athena to the dying campfire where he further makes her sit.

“maybe be a little nicer…”

bellamy sits on the stump in front of her while the rest of the group gathered around, analyzing her better. she narrowed her brows, looking between each of them. yes, they would definitely kill her in her sleep.

“i need you to be cooperative,” his hands clasp in front of him and she’s almost unfamiliar with this persona of bellamy; hard but expressionless. “you’re taking us all to terminus, no bullshit. i’m not going to hurt you, i think we’re both over that, but you will take us there.”

she had a similar hard look on her face as she still looked between each of them, studying their faces hard, trying to find what the motive was in their eyes or if there was any. her chest felt an intense feeling of compression at their looks because they were almost unreadable.

she finally looked back to bellamy who was waiting for her to say something. his head is slightly tipped, watching her carefully, observing every detail that was written on her face. he fixates on the scratches and cuts that are pierced high on her skin—wondering if that was from him or if it was just the given scrapes from the wilderness.

shs doesn’t say anything.

“you sure she speaks?”

“i’m sure,” bellamy nods before getting to his feet, “she just needs a little motivation.”

“bellamy, what are you doing?” octavia gets to her feet too, but doesn’t move to follow him. they all watch him, especially athena; her stare is diligent and she tries hard not to allow a streak of emotion to cross her face—no matter how confused she was.

bellamy made his way over to where athena was previously tied up, reaching down to grab her pack. that’s when athena was fast to get to her feet, pushing against murphy and echo as they tried to hold her back from hounding his ass.

“bell, this isn’t necessary,” octavia shifts on her feet as she watches him slowly make his way over toward the fire, extending the bag over the fire.

“don’t.”

“oh, so she does speak,” murphy’s snide tone curls into her ear and she resists the urge to elbow him in the gut.

“we gonna make this harder than it needs to be?”

“we? bellamy this is only you,” athena’s eyes narrow down on him and she feels both his comrades grips loosen on her. “you shoot me, cut me, and now threaten to burn my belongings,” her look is nasty and she can feel the compression explode into anger at the thought of everything he had done to her.

“you want me to take you? fine i’ll take you, but you owe me, big time and don’t be mad when whatever you’re looking for, isn’t there.”

his mouth curves into a smirk, watching the way her eyes mount to his in such a resilient way, “deal.”

navigation.

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @myalupinblack @cc13723things @Uselesssapphickitten @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @ritz-hell-hotel @fruitiseavey @kayalect @strnqer @mystic-writings @gbrownn @moonlighy @straightzoinked @thelaststraw3 @navyabhatnagar @alexxavicry @esposadomd @lupinsluvbot

death era.

part six of n/a.

ricky rocks. i’m running out of death era drafts 😔😔

good people. they were good people, something athena was surprised by. they were helpful and cared for one another despite the constant bickering and insults that filled the air. even to athena, they were attentive and made sure she was doing fine with simple offers of water, asking her if her weapon was loaded, whether she needed a break—and it wasn’t just octavia.

it was as if athena was a fragile package, but she didn’t understand why. no one had ever been so kind to her before and it was almost repulsing.

they’re just using you.

“how did you hear about terminus?”

athena glanced to raven who fell into step with her. her voice was curious and light, but athena still found the question interrogating, like raven wasn’t trusting of her, like none of them were.

“how did you?”

raven raised a brow, a light smirk nerving her face, “that’s defensive of you, isn’t it little goddess?”

“forgive me,” she mumbles, swiping her bottom lip with the knuckle of her thumb. “i’m not used to people questioning just to question. there’s always a deeper reasoning behind it.”

raven laughs, “i’d get used to the unreasonable questioning. you’re like fresh meat, you know? we’ve been with each other for god knows how long; know everything about one another to point it’s sickening to look at each other’s faces,” she smiles again, but it drops once she sees athena’s face doesn’t shift at all. “you’re a new book to people who have been reading the same thing over and over. i promise, not every question is interrogation.”

there’s something about ravens words that fill her with slight ease. her voice is reassuring and filled with intentions of comfort, “so, can i ask you how you found out about terminus?”

athena thinks, wondering truly when the first time she heard about that place. word got around a lot—surprisingly—especially when jumping from place to place. even though athena didn’t trust people, she met a lot of them, nice ones. they were rare, but they came up every once and awhile offering advice and warnings when she wouldn’t stay with them.

she heard a lot about terminus in those offers of words. good and bad. she had spent over a year dancing around the idea of it, but something in her gut prevented her from going anywhere near.

“a woman who i used to come across every now and then. used to always be in the same area i was. sometimes we’d talk; she’d bring terminus up, said she always wanted to go but never did, and then she’d stop showing up…” her voice goes low slowly, almost suspicious of the last part as she thinks of the days without that woman who was her first and practically only friend of the apocalypse.

“you think she went?”

“no,” athena shook her head, “she was like me, didn’t go too far, always coming back to the place you know best. she was paranoid and the unknown is dangerous, hope can be dangerous.”

“how come you never moved too far?”

“no where to go,” athena mumbles.

“well, athena, i’m glad we found you because your life sounded down right near depressing,” murphy’s voice cuts in, making the two of them glance behind them. he strolls by himself at a lazy pace, watching his feet kick up dirt and rocks between the rotting tracks of wood.

“you’re so nice murphy,” raven answers for her, facing forward once more.

“just a thought.”

“your snide comments don’t help anybody, murphy,” bellamy’s low voice catches them all off guard. he hadn’t said a word since that morning and it was only short and gruff like always. “come to think of it, nothing you do helps.”

“looks like we’re one in the same, because neither do yours.”

it ends at that. when a pair butt heads, it’s always murphy and bellamy, but it ends fast even as a little tension still looms after. they couldn’t have been friends from before, athena just knows it. they’re always bickering, always keeping everyone on their toes with their useless disagreements.

it had only been two days, but it already felt like she had known them for eternity.

**

“so you were a military brat, huh?”

athena looked up, staring at murphy with narrowed eyebrows as he chewed away at the last piece of rabbit meat on a small bone he had in his fingers, “how’d you know?”

he almost naturally grinned, but it turned into a smug smirk, throwing the now bare bone behind him, “by the way you hold yourself and that gun you carry. fucking expensive. my dad had one.”

she looks to the rifle that was snug by her side before looking back up to him, “you were a military kid too?” her face was pinched up in slight confusion, staring at murphy with a gaze that almost said i don't believe you.

“yeah, that’s how i met your pal bellamy,” he emphasized bellamy’s name, while motioning to bellamy who sat a little further from the campfire, keeping guard, his gaze switching between the forest floor then into the beyond of the memorizing darkness, “we had a club.”

“no we didn't,” bellamy was quick to say, glancing back at the group, his eyes lingering on athena for a split second with her already staring back before looking to murphy with a short glare. “murphy didn’t have friends.”

“oh shut up,” he waves him off, “anyways, kind of surprised you didn't know that about bellamy.”

“why?”

“’cause you’re hardcore, i’m sure you have eyes for our kind of people.”

she stares at the fire with pursed lips before looking up at murphy, then looking away before looking back up at him, eyes up, down, up. her anxiety getting the best of her in that moment and she knew why.

“i stopped looking for other military people a long time ago,” she mumbled, “i stopped looking for people in general... a long time ago.”

“you gave up.”

“oh shut up murphy, you’d be in the same position just like she’s in if you didn’t have us,” raven gave him a knowing look, continuing to scrape and carve away at the piece of wood she had in hand, “we all would.”

but what’s so bad about the position she’s in?

it’s silent for the longest that it makes athena think they’re all complete strangers to each other just as she is to them.

but the silence isn’t presented as awkward, it’s calming with the crackling of fire as a background noise, something that athena could fall asleep to, but the stupid rave of anxiety was still serging through her veins as she thought of him.

him being the reason she had any remote military knowledge and that stupid, stupid gun.

she looks up further on only to meet bellamy’s eyes again, still closely speculated on her. she looks away, focusing on the fire once more, a sudden strange fulfillment entering into her chest, something that took over the feeling of her anxiousness, the warming feeling of finally not being alone for the first time in a long time.

it felt so right, yet so wrong.

she didn’t find herself being a people person. she wasn’t good with starting conversation nor showing any interest when a person spoke. that’s why when the sun set and the fire died out, athena found it real difficult to react when octavia begun to claw in deep to her emotions and pull out the memories from before.

“there was a huge lockdown,” octavia mumbled, her eyes still settled on the dark sky while athena stared at the side of her face, “i got shoved into a room with murphy and some other kids we’ve lost along the way and i swear those were some of the longest hours of my life.”

they both sat side by side, keeping watch, as the rest of the group slept. octavia’s voice became quiet as there was something that came over her usual optimism. she randomly begun to speak with her voice dunked in a low, dark tone, making athena question if this was the same girl.

she wasn’t prepared for this. athena hadn’t said a word to the warm body next to her, and she still didn’t—she only allowed her to speak.

octavia seemed out of breath, like she had just been punched in the gut causing her to be winded. athena could tell it hurt her, the beginning, it was always painful—for everyone. to only think about the time it had all gone wrong; the beginning of the end. wondering… if you could have ever done something to prevent it all from happening.

but the answer was always no.

“just sitting there in complete silence,” she paused, inhaling deeply with a slight shake, “until it begun; the take over. we were in the green room, it was one of the only low security rooms that people forgot about, mostly because it was used for storage and laid at the edge of the base, but it still didn’t stop them from finding us.”

octavia went on to explain how a scavenging group had broke into the military base, rounding up all those of the living that they could find, shoving them into a 30 feet deep pit where the military base had burned the dead after the virus took over. 

“they pushed people in and if you died, you were left to be a walker, but if you survived, you were left to be eaten by one because there was no way in hell you’d survive that fall then get back up fast enough to run and defend,” she shook her head, still not looking at athena’s gaze. 

but athena didn't have to see octavia’s full face for her to be able to tell how much anger and sadness and fear filled those eyes of hers. 

“they killed my people, athena,” she finally looks at her, her eyes bright with importance, “that’s why i can’t let you hurt my brother even if he deserves it. he’s the reason i wasn’t in that pit. he’s the reason i’m still breathing, and i am forever in debt to him just for that.” 

bellamy was one of the oldest left. all the adults were killed off the minute the scavenging group had found the rec room—and there wasn’t much to begin with due to the virus killing anything it could get it’s hands on.

bellamy played it smart—well not totally due the fact he wasn’t even at base when the raid took place but rather collecting fire wood—or in other words, playing hooky with a girl who was also long gone and dead.

that was one of the first times bellamy had felt real fear. watching people fall to their deaths one by one without a fight and seeing his sister next in line. it balled up in his chest causing immense pain that turned into anger. he hated it—that feeling. he wanted to tear at his chest until it would stop but the only thing he could do was act.

bellamy thinks that’s the first time he met raven. she was the real reason it all went well. she had spotted him from his hiding spot by a building holding a rifle tightly and anxiously looking for an opening. and she gave him one.

she had kicked a scavenger into the pit, grabbing his gun before anyone else could get it, aiming quickly to the five other scavs who held weapons with wide eyes. it was made obvious they were new to this by the way they didn’t just shoot her on the spot—but instead, listened to murphy.

“i wouldn’t shoot her, man,” he shook his head, “she could shoot three of you before any one of you could get a simple bullet out of your gun.”

a lie. but they didn’t need to know that.

“shut up, boy.”

“i’m just saying,” murphy shrugged, keeping his eyes straight forward, watching the rest of the scavs burn down buildings in the distance. “anyone here can tell you she was at the top of class before the apocalypse, could hit a target from thirty feet away and she kills walkers like no fuckin’ tomorrow.”

another lie, raven hated killing walkers more than anything.

but it still faltered their confidence as they uneasily eyed raven who clutched the rifle close with her finger over the trigger, afraid to push it, even though she wanted to. taking a human life was far different from hitting a target—even if they deserved it.

lucky for her, bellamy had impeccable aim—hitting down two men—and he had no problem killing. he swung the butt of his gun on another causing raven to unfreeze and shoot the other in the leg. the last scav was shoved into the pit where the other four soon followed.

“you’re lucky for that,” athena’s voice was barely above a whisper as she thought about it harder, imagining bellamy taking that risk and having the bravery and suddenly admiring him a lot more than she wanted to. “a lot of people are selfish. they don’t give a second thought to another person who breathes the same air they do. a lot of people would have left you to die.”

her. she was selfish. she would have left. she did leave.

octavia’s eyes are soft and they almost twinkle like stars with the soft smile that comes on her face, “that’s because the only reason a lot of people are living now, is so others don’t. a lot of people are selfish and want the world to themselves.”

and what makes bellamy different from any of those people?

the only thing that kept bellamy from falling into that group of people was octavia, but even then she wasn’t that good of a defense—because he kept octavia alive for himself. she made him think he wasn’t a bad guy, that everything remotely wrong that he did was for her safety.

“you forgot the best part,” murphy’s voice sounded out of no where causing the both of them to look behind where he was sat up, grinning. “right after those scavs got pushed into the pit, echo slammed the butt of her gun into bellamy’s head.”

athena glanced to bellamy, now positioned to face the group. the boy didn’t look one bit amused like murphy and the rest of them did. that’s what made it funnier.

“hey, i was just trying to survive,” echo hummed with a slight curve in her lips, mocking bellamy’s words that he says so often.

“echo decided that she’d play it safe and act like the enemy, which in hindsight caused a lot more trouble than it should have.”

“oh, please, murphy, you all wouldn’t have made it through the front gate without me."

"I'd like to think in retrospect that everything could have gone perfectly fine even if she didn't hit me in the first place."

"probably," she smirked at bellamy, to which he rolled his eyes. "but face it, me acting like a scav did more help than harm for your pretty little head. i got us all out of there."

octavia had been cradling bellamy's head in her lap as the rest of the surviving group from the pit was rounded up in one of the many rec rooms on the base. two of the scavengers were left to keep watch over them all, one of them being echo.

echo paced back and forth, eyeing each of them, trying her best to keep her composure and allow anxiety not to break her down like the current cold sweat she was going through was attempting to do. she didn't have a plan, that was her problem. masking up and keeping her posture straight and full of conviction was as far as it went—and so far, it was just barely working.

murphy eyed echo from where he sat. the facade she was trying to keep up wasn't working for her in his eyes, and he didn't know whether or not to pose her as a threat. even though she kept a bandana tied around half her face, he could still recognize those hard, piercing eyes from anywhere. essentially due to the fact that they had been combat partners in defense class for the past five months and each morning he had to see her cold face.

"hey, echo, since when did sarg clear you to carry a gun."

she cringed at his voice. echo should have known it'd be him to blow her cover and that there'd be no way to play this off, especially when the other scavenger left to keep guard was eyeing her—leaving her no choice.

she pulled the handgun from her back pocket before shooting the man without another thought. she pulled the front of her mask down, now looking to murphy with an annoyed glare, "way to go, john."

he grinned, now getting to his feet, "didn't think you'd be the one to hold a gun first out of the two of us."

"you're a fool if you didn't," she handed him the handgun with a tight look on her face. john murphy would have been the last person she would have trusted with a gun, but it looked like her options were getting slim.

"what's the plan?"

"i don't know, you kind of blew mine out of the water when exposing my identity."

"that's the most i have ever seen you guys get along," raven speaks her thoughts aloud, looking between the two.

"yeah, well, things change. and i didn't think john murphy would have gone from my combat partner to my bunk mate."

"i'm offended."

"that's when we were all still together."

it suddenly gets silent and the previous humored filled air was replaced with a solum atmosphere as they all begun to think about the beginning and what once was a ten person group, is now five.

"that's why we're here, to get back what we lost."

lexa, monty, jasper, clarke, miller.

the names repeat over and over in each of their heads as the silence becomes permanent and finally, they sleep but with the same grievances as every day since separation.

navigation.

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @cc13723things @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @ritz-hell-hotel @fruitiseavey @kayalect @strnqer @mystic-writings @moonlighy @straightzoinked @thelaststraw3 @alexxavicry @esposadomd @lupinsluvbot

hi, if you read this series, maybe reread this part because i did some MAJOR editing and added two more scenes :) still hella unedited though ☝️

death era.

part seven of n/a.

ricky rocks. no thoughts

Keep reading

death era.

part eight of n/a.

ricky rocks. flash back episode !!!

“everyone needs to just shut up,” echo doesn’t look at any of them and yet her eyes are wild and unable to stay in one place. “we have to figure a way out of here.”

she can feel her heart in her throat upon the dawning reality that she had no plan and half the people in the room with her were a bunch of dimwits.

“that’s kinda a hard thing to do when you told us to shut up.”

“keep your comments to yourself before i take that gun back, john.”

murphy rolls his eyes at the sound of his name; at the sound of the way she says it. it’s always so hostile and harsh whenever it comes out of her mouth and it only makes him hate it more.

it reminds him of the way his mother used to say it.

“why don’t we just leave, simple as that?”

“we can’t just do that, murphy. there are still other people here,” raven still sits on the floor, watching the two.

“yeah, people that are probably already dead and if not, who do you think the ones that are gonna get killed going to be when we come to their rescue?”

“that’s so classic of you, murphy.”

“what do you suggest we do then?” he turns his chin fast to face octavia who gives him an irritated look.

wow, wasn’t he just a crowd pleaser today.

“we wait till bellamy wakes up.”

“bellamy?” murphy looks disgusted, glancing down to him and his peaceful state in octavia’s lap. “i like him much better knocked out.”

“we don’t have time for that… or this,” echo shakes her head, interrupting the nasty stare octavia gave that would ultimately lead to an argument. “you better hope he wakes up soon because i’m not carrying him.”

“maybe if you didn’t hit him so damn hard.”

“hey, shut it, murphy. otherwise you’ll be right with your pal, bellamy.”

he grumbles, turning his shoulder away from them, “what’re you looking at?” his eyes suddenly meet the face of a boy he had never notice up until now.

the skinny boy with black hair was quick to put his hands up in defense, scooting further away from the menacing stare murphy continued to force in on him.

“that’s what i thought, string bean.”

this was the least ideal situation to be in with the least ideal group to be together. outside of this moment, not one of them would have willingly step foot to be among one another.

although the base was big but filled with a small amount of people, their worlds barely ever collided.

“alright, what do you wanna do echo?”

she blinks, looking down to raven who looks like a little kid with her legs crossed. she feels her chest swell up with importance at the undivided attention and suddenly a drive of adrenaline flows through her veins once again.

echo hated everyone. it was easy to tell. her parents died at her ripe age of 7 where she was handed off to a strict military woman who beat her own values of no remorse, empathy, or emotion into her. that woman died the moment the virus took over the base and echo couldn’t have been more happy—until they didn’t let her leave.

no one was allowed to leave, for their own good as they would say. the remaining adults of the base had an idea that they could repopulate and help rid of the disease that turned the dead into living once more. but here they were, the remaining adults being what they feared and echo being in a room of people she hated—except raven. now, she could stand raven.

“i’m all ears. whatever you need me to do, i’ll do.”

echo smiles, yeah, she didn’t mind her at all. raven was the only one with a couple brain cells who could function.

“try to wake boy toy up, then let’s kill the rest of these fuckers.”

**

it didn’t take much to wake bellamy up, but it took a lot to calm him down.

“why would i trust you?”

“because i’m the one with the gun,” her teeth shine past her lips in a snide look at his clear upset state.

it only provoked him more, taking a step closer, but echo is far from fazed. she knew bellamy and the type of person he was, therefore she felt far from inferior when around him like she knew he was trying to do.

before the fall, echo spent her whole first year in basic combat training with him due to him shadowing the instructor. he was a douchebag who thrived on proving his superiority over the younger trainees, including echo.

“bellamy, just listen to her,” octavia forced herself into his peripheral vision, hoping he’d step away from her. “we have no other options and echo knows what she’s doing.”

“and i don’t?”

“you seem to have forgotten she had you out cold moments ago, buddy.”

“murphy, i’ll kill you.”

“woah, woah, woah,” mock marinates in his voice. “she’s the one with the gun, don’t think she’ll let that happen.”

“i wouldn’t be against it.”

civility was hard to achieve, especially in the beginning.

“will you all just calm down,” raven stands a foot back with her arms crossed. “if we want to get out of here, we need to execute now. the breakers are all the way on the other side of the building and who knows how many scavs are outside this door.”

it took five minutes for raven to come up with a plan to get out and that was through the breakers—the security and maintenance room, where everything was watched through cameras and where the switches to shut down all the power was. in order to leave, all the security monitors, locked doors, and ultimately the big gate at the front of the base that kept all of them in was all electrically ran and needed to be shut down.

so to get out, shit needed to be shut down.

bellamy finally breaks away from echo, turning his gaze to the other girl, “how do you expect to do that with the millions of doors that you all need a pin to, leading to that room?”

“it’s not hard,” a voice sounds from behind them all, causing them to turn. “if you break the panel and move one wire to another, the door opens just as easy as if you were to know the pin.”

they stare at him blankly in surprise as raven tries her best to conceal her smile, already anticipating this. the boy swallows nervously at the pressure of their uninviting stares suddenly on him, “it’s easy. a 10 year old could do it.”

bellamy narrows his look on him even more, “what’s your name?”

“monty. monty green,” he takes a step closer, almost expecting to shake his hand—but bellamy’s hostile stare made him rock back on his feet.

“and then after that, monty? the only people who had access to the breaker room were ones with a key card.”

“good thing i’m in charge then.”

they all turn back to echo who holds out a white and green plastic key card in all its glory.

“how the hell did you get a key card? sargent wouldn’t even clear you for a gun,” murphy narrows his gaze on her with confusion, slowly stepping forward.

“they don’t even hand those out to guards.”

“well, good thing i’m better than a guard,” she smirks, stuffing it in her back pocket. “now let’s go.”

**

the hallways were eerily empty.

echo had her mask pulled back up to the base of her face where only her dark eyes were the most distinguishable feature to the others. she scanned the little space that filled the area, leading the group down what seemed to be the hallway to their doom.

she didn’t like it one bit.

moments before she had knocked bellamy unconscious, she had watched the scavs from the watch tower take over every little home and minor building, burning them to the ground after ransacking each one. they would have no where else to be but the inside of this building—and yet, no one in sight.

“this doesn’t feel right.”

“what, you scared?”

murphy doesn’t reply.

“maybe they just all left.”

“that’s wishful thinking,” echo’s low voice sounds hollow as she leads them around a corner and toward the entrance where authorized staff only was printed largely on a sign nailed to the surface of the doors. she gripped her rifle tighter and tighter as seconds passed by with no sound, no movement, and no person was in sight.

bellamy followed from the back with his own gun that echo was reluctant about giving him until he reminded her he was their best shot.

the silence was a blessing. there were nights where bellamy longed for this type of stillness, for the break down of his up tight lifestyle. and now here it was, handed to him in his lap, yet something was off and this felt even worse compared to the norm.

“already, green, time to shine,” echo dropped her gun from position as well as pulling down the cloth that concealed her face. she glanced to bellamy, sharing a look of agreement that they were still in the clear. “get this door open and you’re golden.”

he nodded, dropping to his knees before the pin pad that was placed neatly next to the steel door. they watch him pop the cover off simply before once again pulling another layer that concealed the wiring to the door. he rips at the nest of colorful snakes before glancing at them all, smiling at their narrowed looks.

“i used to watch my dad do this all the time as a kid, wanted to be just like him. so while you all were sent to train and beat your bodies down, i was taught this,” he works as he speaks before finally pulling away and looking to the door. they follow his gaze but are met with disappointment when there’s no sign of acceptance to his fiddling.

monty makes a sound of confusion, a crease forming between his brow as he looks at the door, then the mangled key pad.

“i’m guessing that’s not supposed to happen.”

“what clued you on to that?”

“they must have changed their wiring in the past month, otherwise i don’t understand why this wouldn’t have worked,” he still stares at his work, disappointed.

“so… we can’t get in?” bellamy is losing patience.

“no, we can. it’ll just take me a lot longer.”

“how much longer?”

“say, 7 minutes.”

“christ,” bellamy pinches the bridge of his nose. “we don’t have that time.”

“we actually don’t know what time we do have… considering-“

“murphy, shut the fuck up. i’m not waiting that long, i’ll find another way.”

“bellamy, you can’t just-“

he’s right back around the corner and toward where they came from with no attempt to listen to their persistence. he was impatient and itching to get out of that building. if he didn’t find a way soon, he would lose his mind.

these hallways with florescent lights were the center of his nightmares. he found himself lost in what was an exact replica of it, wandering and desperate to get out. just like right now.

he grew up in these halls. every waking moment of his life were spent within these halls of the base. he hated it. he wished the scavs would have burned down this building first.

“don’t move.”

there was a nose of a gun suddenly practically pressed to bellamy’s own nose. he jerked back out of shock, neglecting to process who was on the other side of the rifle till he found himself pinned.

“who are you? why’re you here?”

bellamy’s eyes find theirs before anything else till the question is repeated again, “huh? who the fuck are you?”

a girl.

he finds himself slowly lower his arms upon realization, “who’re you?”

“your worst fuckin’ nightmare if you don’t give me a straight answer.”

he recognized this girl.

“relax, i’m just trying to get out of here.”

“hard thing to do when the gates won’t open.”

“you’re trying to get to the breakers,” he speaks his thoughts aloud.

her eyes narrow, “why would you know that?”

“because you’re not the only one trying to escape.”

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i do what i have to do.

pairings. bellamy blake x fem!reader

part two of two.

about. in which you point your gun at someone you never thought you’d point it at.

warnings. swearing

ricky rocks. look who finally finished a year old one shot/fic/whatever you call it 🤗🤗

bellamy coudn’t hurt you even if he wanted to. so, when mumbling the words, ‘move or i’ll kill you’, you could see right through his bluff by the way his eyes so willingly betrayed him, filled with... hurt.

in all truth, bellamy believed you would have shot him if it would have come down to that, and maybe that’s what pained him most. he wouldn't hurt a hair on your head, and you would have, but only for the best interest and safety of arkadia and your friends. 

you never wanted to hurt bellamy, but recently you really, really wanted to slap him upside the head for all the stupid shit he had been doing. and maybe a gun scare would knock some sense into him, or maybe it would only put him deeper into the hole pike was digging for him. 

bellamy yanked you to your feet quickly after the two of you had seemed to have recovered from all the commotion that had just taken place. you weren't sure whether or not he wanted to get you away from the increase in rowdy crowd or to have his way with you first. 

you were beginning to think it was the last option as he marched down the hall with you in front of him, gripping your left arm while the other pressed against your back. one, two, three, four more steps before he shoved you into one of the guards rooms, his room. 

“what the hell do you think you’re doing?” he let go of your arm with a slight shove causing you to stumble forward a bit. he looked angry, more than you had ever seen him and more than you would have ever wished to see.

“bellamy, don’t start with me,” you mumbled, raising a finger to harshly accuse him... for something. “if you’re going to kill me, just get it over with.”

he scoffed, looking beyond dumbfounded with his mouth slight agape, not believing the words that had just came from your mouth.

“stop fucking talking,” he needed to think. he begun to pace back and forth, and you had no idea what to do with yourself as you watched him. “i need to get you out of here.”

"what?"

he gives you a dumbfounded look that was filled with a sense of urgency, "y/n, you just shot someone that can have you dead within seconds. you don't leave, someone’s going to do exactly what you did, and take justice into their own hands."

"you should have let me finish the job."

"we're not starting this," he grips your shoulder before pushing you by your upper back. "people are leaving. o, kane, miller—you go with them. you stay, they'll kill you."

"how do you know this?" you mumbled, glancing back at the mention of your friends and the planned escape you all had developed. bellamy was considered a traitor to you all, so he would be the last person on your list to concern with the escape plan. 

"eyes everywhere."

you narrow your brows at him, "you're coming with."

he narrows his brows in shock, not expecting you to say this, you share the same expression, also shocked by yourself. the past month would explain this--not only had you watched your world at arkadia fastly crumble after the slow rebuild of humanity, you also witnessed your relationship with bellamy slowly tank moment after moment while his with pike was created.

so, offering passage was an absurd idea. after all the betrayal.

he seems to wince after his surprisal settles but is quick to keep a straight face as best as he can, "you're getting the wrong idea."

"am i?"

"we're not friends anymore, y/n. this isn't old times," his words are intentionally stinging, but you don't miss the look on his face that betrays him. "you can't save me if that’s what you’re thinking. I don't need to be saved, i know what i’m doing."

you frown, "bellamy, you need to stop acting like there's never going to be a happy ending for you before it comes true. leave with us."

"you know i can't do that."

"why not?"

"I dug myself in too deep this time," his face was still stone cold, but it didn't prevent remorse from blossoming in your chest. "maybe if you weren't such a terrible shot, this would be all over."

***

in well under an hour bellamy had you out of arkadia, alone. your friends had left a lot sooner than thought and no matter how much begging you did—expectedly—bellamy left his mind unchanged. 

you knew exactly where your friends were going—where they’d be. it was a long and lonely hike but it was enough time for reflection.

you miss the time where you felt like a kid still. where you were young and reckless and full of hope that you’d finally get to be free upon that first step off the drop ship. that you had purpose and will and fighting was something you hadn’t really minded aside from the possible side affect of death.

now you were tired. you just wanted to lay your head down for once and not think about the pointless rivalry purging your everyday life.

“y/n, you’re okay,” octavia pulls you into a tight hug, a certain relief setting over. “god, after we hadn’t seen you, we assumed the worst.”

“i’m okay,” you gave her a thin-lipped smile, “thanks to your brother.”

“bellamy?” she seems shocked, like that’s the first courteous thing he’s done for someone in years.

“yes,” you nod, understanding the hostile tone she almost takes with his name. “i think he might’ve saved me.”

“where is bellamy?” miller speaks causing you to realize they had all emerged from the cave.

"he's gone."

"dead?"

"no,” you shake your head, “he stayed behind. he said he had to fix some thing’s before he showed his face again.”

octavia mentally rolled her eyes, but kept her composure as she watched you, “you’re here. that’s all that matters.”

***

“is he dead?”

“indra has him.”

“bellamy-“

“y/n,” he gives you a pointed look at your protest. “you know that’s as good as dead.”

he was right. pike killed her people, that was far from unforgivable. he’d be lucky to receive death.

“she didn’t kill you.”

he shook his head, keeping his eyes low to the ground, “thanks to o.”

it took a day for bellamy to find you all. his face was beaten and bloodied, but you knew better than to ask what the cause was. he had a lot of enemies at the moment and it wasn’t like this was something out of the blue for him. you would've been surprised to see a clean face.

“she doesn’t hate you as much as you think.”

“i’d like to think she doesn’t hate me at all,” he presses his lips into a thin line. “you’re right though.”

you nod, trying to look sympathetic.

“about everything. i’m sorry.”

your mouth slightly opens in shock from not anticipating his words; apology and admitting.

“i’m sorry too,” you nod, swallowing harshly as you think about having that gun pointed inches from his face. “i would’ve never shot you.”

“you sure?” his voice is lighthearted, but you can tell he’s genuine when asking. “could’ve guessed otherwise.”

“guessing will only hurt you,” you tease, but quickly drop the blitheness. “i shouldn’t have done it, but i was scared… and angry.”

“i know,” he whispers, “we do what we have to do, right?”

“right.”

“then if that means shooting me to knock some sense into me, do it.”

a laugh gets stuck in the back of your throat at the preposterous thought of it. the funny thing was you knew he wasn’t joking. classic bellamy, putting himself in harm’s way.

“me a couple months ago would be more than happy to oblige,” you shake your head, making it his turn to laugh.

“us a couple months ago was a different story. i’m sure we already had guns to each other’s throats.”

you laugh with him, “yeah.”

“never again.”

nodding, “never again.”

you stare at one another now, quiet and calm. you don’t think you’ve ever had a moment like this with bellamy before.

you’re not sure what to do, but bellamy does.

your months of angsty butting heads leading to civilness, then ultimately leading to radio silence on both of your ends due to pike, had killed him. and now, here you were, back in his grasp of more than just civilness, he couldn’t let that go.

“i lied,” he mumbles, suddenly shifting from the rock he sat on. “instead of shooting me…” he’s leaning now, hovering, and just barely resisting the urge to complete his intentions. you feel his breath fan your face; feel, because your eyes are shut. “please, just kiss me.”

his nose is slotted against yours, still hovering as he watches you beneath his eye lashes. his lips are so close… so close to yours, it’s killing him that he waits.

“i’m sorry, but i have to do this,” he smiles before finally pressing his lips against yours.

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @myalupinblack @cc13723things @Uselesssapphickitten @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @itzstacie @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @dayanaralight @nyx3028 @hizziestial @ritz-hell-hotel @fruitiseavey @kayalect @deathtobarbie @areil4 @strnqer @mystic-writings @gbrownn @moonlighy @straightzoinked @thelaststraw3 @navyabhatnagar @alexxavicry @esposadomd @lupinsluvbot

So, I'm rewatching S1 of The 100 and I came across a startling realization;

Bellamy knew Murphy didn't kill Wells

Warnings for murder, S1 plot details, and death.

To fully explain, we need to go back to when Charlotte was given a knife.

Bellamy nearly attacks her, assuming she's a Grounder after the girl slips out of camp. They talk, the scene ending with Bellamy showing a softer side for the first time in the season and giving the girl his knife.

Later, Charlotte uses that same knife to kill Wells.

After Jasper and Octavia find pieces of Wells' body (his fingers), they present it, along with the murder weapon, to Bellamy and Clarke. The four figure out that, because of this evidence, it had to have been one of them that killed Wells.

Clarke tries to tell the others and, after arguing about it with Bellamy, points out the initials on the knife "J.M", or, John Murphy. Which, to her, proves that it had to have been Murphy.

Except...

Bellamy gave that knife - a specific knife - to Charlotte. The scene is pretty significant, I don't think Bellamy would have forgotten giving Murphy's knife away.

Which means that Bellamy most likely knew that Murphy couldn't have used the knife on Wells, because he didn't have it.

...

Yeah, the implications get pretty dark.

Bellamy could have also mentioned this to Jasper, Clarke, and Octavia, all of whom would most likely have kept the secret to protect Charlotte. Which would have prevented Murphy from being attacked and nearly hanged, the mob from turning against Charlotte, along with her subsequent death and Murphy's banishment (The fever might not have reached the camp, which would have also prevented three more deaths).

change

the 100 [ bellamy blake x reader ]

type : angsty, maybe a bit fluffy?

tropes: forced proximity, best friends to lovers

warnings: mentions of anxiety, heavy language, lowkey manipulative bellamy

in which bellamy blake and reader used to date but when he spiraled after octavia was arrested and his life fell apart, he distanced himself from her. after he begs her to trust him blindly and she does, they have to figure out their relationship on earth as neither of them is able to let it go.

a/n: hii, this is my first piece of writing in a loooong long time but i’m really enjoying the 100 again and i’ve noticed a severe lack of bellamy content on here, so i hope you like it! i don’t think i used any pronouns but i did use the term “girl” multiple times to describe reader! w.c.: 4.831

after octavia was discovered, he lost his job and his mum was floated, bellamy fell into a terrifying rabbit hole of depression. he lost himself with everything else in his life and instead of holding on to you, he wanted you to do better than him; so he ignored you. of course it made everything worse than it already was but it helped to tell himself he was actually saving you, despite seeing you fall apart piece by piece for months. he knew you'd get it together at some point, you had a great life going for you and he didn't want to risk you losing it at anytime soon, especially not because of him.

so when commander shumway approached bellamy and asked him to assassinate chancellor jaha in return of being able to go to earth with his sister and he said yes with barely any hesitation, he couldn't help but think about you, the girl he was so deeply in love with.

so now, bellamy was close to sprinting across the hall, giving his all to reach your door as fast as he could. he was going to earth, he had already shot the chancellor, but he couldn't leave you behind, no matter how hard he tried, not even after all those months of breaking your heart.

but just because he broke your heart that didn't mean he didn't love you the entire time.

you had taken the day off of guard duty, not feeling well as your three year anniversary with bellamy was approaching or, well, it would've if he hadn't abandoned you a few months ago.

although you tried your hardest to get it together, especially because you didn't want to risk your job as a guard on the ark, you couldn't just forget about bellamy. you had never loved anyone like him and no one had ever hurt you like he had.

there was aggressive knocking on the door, startling you immediately. you sighed frustratedly, there was no one who'd have time, or even want to, visit you in the middle of the day. especially not that desperately, since whoever was disturbing your peace got more and more aggressive with each knock.

you opened the door and before you could say anything, you were pushed into your room by a strong, all too familiar man. not being able to comprehend, you simply stared at the tan man in front of you, admiring his freckled face you had missed so much.

"bellamy? wha-", he cut you off, shaking his head frantically.

"look, y/n, this has gotta be really weird for you right now, but we have to leave. like, now. you have to come with me, okay?", although he was clearly stressed, there was a softness to be noticed in his voice that you knew all too well. you also recognized that he wasn't exactly asking you to come with him, he was telling you to.

"bellamy, what do you mean? you can't just come here and, and.. bellamy i don't understand! why are you wearing a guard’s uniform?", you rambled, looking at him more than desperate for answers. you knew that you would follow him anywhere but you didn't want to. you shouldn't after what he did to you.

he sighed, looking around nervously before taking a deep breath in and putting his hands on your cheeks. he held your face in his hands, pulling you a bit closer to him as he looked into your eyes.

"y/n, i beg you, you have to trust me, okay? i know i haven't been the best.. the best to you but if there's one thing you can do for me, even if it's the last time you ever help me out again, i need it to be today, right now", he noticed your big eyes, only now realizing that this might not work out and it scared him, terrified him even. "y/n..y/n, baby please. i'm begging you, begging. we don't have time, we need to go, please trust me, please y/n!"

"okay, bell."

you could tell how much this relieved him immediately and right as a little smile started showing, he pulled you out of your room, swiftly grabbing your necklace you always kept next to your keys and dragged you through the ark. it felt like you were running through the entire space station and when you finally slowed down, bellamy didn't give you a single second to ask questions.

he just motioned to you to be silent as he carefully pushed you towards something you recognized to be a dropship. your eyes widened in panic, what the hell was going on here.

"bellamy, serious-", he simply covered your mouth and shoved you into the dropship before closing the door. as panic overtook you and your breathing got heavier, your perception lessened. without bellamy pushing you around and doing whatever you needed to do for you, you wouldn't have gotten anything done.

you were clearly having a panic attack and while it hurt bellamy to not be able to help you get through right now, he had to prioritize your safety during the travel to earth and before you knew it, you passed out.

{ ~* }

you felt soft taps on your shoulder as you slowly regained consciousness. slowly raising your head before finally opening your eyes and looking around. you were still in the dropship but you were all by yourself, no sight of bellamy. of course.

the person who'd been trying to wake you was a boy you recognized as wells jaha, the chancellor's son. he looked at you, relief basically written all over him as you finally reacted to his attempts of waking you up. "i'm so glad you're awake, i almost thought you wouldn't wake up again. wait, let me help you out."

he started to unbuckle you, holding you up as you were still a bit weak from your intense panic attack. he could tell how confused you were immediately.

"i'm wells, you're a guard, right? why'd they send you to earth with us?", wells questioned as your eyes widened.

"earth?!", you repeated immediately, not believing what you heard and completely ignoring his question. you couldn't be on earth, it wasn't even going to be habitable for the next three generations so how could you be on earth now, alive?!

wells didn't really know how to react, he had expected you to know but you were just as, probably even more clueless than the delinquents. he decided not to engage in any more conversation, respecting your space as he figured you'd want some time to cope, as well as recovering from whatever made you pass out.

you were thankful for being left alone, slowly standing up and once you felt stable enough to walk to the hatch, you followed the ladder down. immediately you were met with the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.

tall trees, their roots covered in beautiful, bright green plants and, of course, many people all around the area.

you didn't care about them though, the only person you wanted to find was bellamy, he had to explain himself. what was he thinking, taking you to earth without even telling you?!

luckily, it didn't take you long to find him. he was talking to a girl much shorter than him; she had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes and although you hadn't seen her that well the last time, the day she was arrested, you were certain it was bellamy's little sister octavia.

you walked over to them, careful not to overestimate your strength yet and once bellamy noticed you, he got tense immediately.

"y/n, how are you?", he spoke up, seemingly interrupting octavia who simply looked at you curiously. while she had never really met you, she knew so much about you. everytime bellamy told her a story to fall asleep to, it was always about princess y/n and once she got older, he finally revealed that you were actually his girlfriend. she loved what she'd heard so far but she decided to lay low, not wanting to interrupt the two of you.

"i'm good. bellamy, what the fuck is going on, are we really on earth? you have to-", he sighed loudly before cutting you off. "i'm glad you're feeling good. you shouldn't stress yourself too much, you're probably still a bit weak, okay? enjoy earth."

the usual softness in his voice was all gone, leaving nothing, but unfamiliar coldness as he walked off. what the fuck was his problem.

"i should've known that he'd leave me again, why did i fucking come", you mumbled angrily. you really had every right to be angry at bellamy, but if you were being honest, you were probably way more disappointed than angered by the man who once loved you as much as you love him.

octavia looked at you confusedly, not being able to follow at all. "what do you mean again, you're y/n, his girlfriend y/n right?"

"i don't even know what i am to him anymore", you answered, feeling tears shoot up to your eyes. no, you couldn't cry about him anymore, you had wasted too many tears on his egoistic ass.

octavia's eyes softened, similarly to how bellamy's used to. she walked up to you and hugged you carefully, not wanting to disrespect your personal space beyond your liking. you hugged her back, appreciating her sympathy a lot and although you kinda didn't want to spend time with bellamy's younger sister, you didn't want to punish her for something out of her power. she had dealt with that too much already.

"my brother can be a real ass sometimes but he'll get over it, i think i know how much he loves you", she spoke softly, smiling at you. you smiled back at her but realized that she really had no clue how over the two of you were.

{ ~* }

days on days passed and not a single interaction between bellamy and you happened. you wanted to talk to him so desperately but whenever you approached him, he'd find a way to get away from you as soon as possible. it felt like you were back on the ark, trying to understand why your boyfriend of two years was suddenly ignoring and avoiding you.

you wanted to fight for his attention, you really tried to but when he set up a knife fight between john murphy and wells, you figured that you had to say goodbye to the idea of ever getting anything positive out of a conversation with him. the bellamy you once loved was probably gone for good and whatever egoistic, violent leader he had become now, was no one you wanted around you.

this time, you really had to get over him.

it honestly made you sick to watch him act like the born leader of the delinquents and it was almost worse to see them follow him blindly. he was leading them to do horrible things, he was clearly motivating their aggression and allowed them all to be terrible to each other.

of course you were angry, but it also confused you a lot. bellamy really terrified you, he was going down a path you couldn't follow and he wasn't anything like he used to be back in the ark, back when he was still your bellamy.

he used to be sweet, loving and caring but now it was so obvious that he was using the 100 delinquents to reach his own goal, you just couldn't figure out what goal that could be. another thing you were pretty confused about, was the fact he took you with him. when he begged you to come with him, he was so different. it almost felt like he loved you again, you were embarrassed to admit that you thought things would get better now, that everything would be like it was back then and you knew that you deserved better, no one, not even john murphy deserved to be treated like bellamy had treated you that past year. still, you just couldn't let him go, so you decided it was time for some distraction.

while you really enjoyed spending time with clarke, learning a bit from her medical knowledge, as well as simply making a new friend, you needed more. literally, you had no one besides bellamy, octavia and clarke and you didn't actually have any of them. you needed to make friends.

deciding to go against bellamy's orders to stay with clarke, something he hadn't told you personally, instead sending one of his little minions your way, you left the drop ship in search for something else to do. you weren't gonna let him tell you what to do, not if he didn't even have the balls to talk to you himself.

right as you left the dropship, you immediately spotted a tall boy with funny googles on his head walking towards one of the gates and decided to approach him. you remembered his name, joshua, or jasper.

"hey jasper", you smiled at him and he immediately smiled back. "hey y/n, i'm just heading out for the hunt."

you raised your eyebrow. hunt? that was perfect for you. not only did you ace pike's earth skills class, but you were also a trained guard. of all the people in your camp, it was safe to assume that you'd be the best at it.

"can i come too? i think i'd be a lot of help", you spoke nicely and without even thinking about it, jasper nodded. his smile grew as he was more than willing to spend some more time with you.

"i'm sure bellamy won't mind", he said and although you really didn't want to be around bellamy for once, it upset you even more that he couldn't even ask you to go with them. he knew just as well as you did that they needed you and that you were the best shot they had, probably even better than him since you actually finished your guard training.

you followed jasper out of the walls, stopping right outside as you joined the rest of the hunting trip. there were about seven unknown faces and of course bellamy’s. as soon as he saw you, he tensed up, leaving you to sigh annoyingly and roll your eyes.

"y/n get back inside the walls, it's not safe outside", he said, voice stern, motioning for you to turn around and go. you immediately shook your head.

"i'm gonna come with you guys, i'm literally your best shot and you won't even notice me, i'll be with jasper the entire time", you complained. he knew you wouldn't change your mind but he wouldn't risk your safety. bellamy trusted jasper but not with you, he trusted no one when it came to you. no one, not even yourself, would protect you as well as he would and although he had been avoiding you for days now, expecting to keep going until he knew you'd gotten over him completely, he had to be the one going with you.

"yea no, you're either coming with me or not at all, y/n. this is your first time outside the walls and i wanna make sure you find your way back home, alright?! however, if you don't want to go with me that's fine. stay back and help clarke then. got it?!", he was convinced he'd make you change your mind.

"fuck you, bellamy. really, let's just go already", you were angry. he was treating you like a complete stranger and you actually felt a bit embarrassed in front of the other people. what was he thinking talking to you like that in front of so many of the others, it was unnecessary.

he was caught by surprise by your response, less because of your words, but way more because you actually chose to come with them. he was so sure you would never want to be alone with him after all he had done but this just proved that it wasn't enough yet.

he should've known better than to expect you to just stop loving him that easily. hell, how could you get over him, if he couldn't even go a single hour without thinking about you.

"okay then", bellamy said before everyone split up and went into different directions. you followed him, making sure you stayed behind.

"you know damn well that i'd be a great help. should've gotten your shit together and asked me", you mumbled and although he heard what you said, he decided not to respond.

you two were walking for a pretty long time, killing some birds on your way. obviously that wouldn't be enough for the entire camp to eat so you kept going. there wasn't much talking done either, you were able to work together without speaking, you had always been able to.

of course it was awkward, but it went fine until a loud sound rang through the woods. bellamy turned to you immediately, eyes wide as he grabbed your wrist and started running. despite having never left the camp, you knew that this was an alarm to warn about the yellow fog that was incredibly toxic and even deadly.

the two of you ran as fast as you could until bellamy noticed something in the ground that looked like a door to a bunker. he immediately pushed you in front of him and told you to go in, following closely as he rushed to close the door before the fog could get you. bellamy turned on his flashlight while your breath was shaky as you put a hand up to your heart. your athleticism wasn't an issue, your anxiety however was.

"y/n, are you okay?", bellamy asked softly as approached you, reaching for your shoulder but before he could touch you, you backed away.

"bellamy stop, stop doing this", he looked at you with a questioning expression on his face. "you know what i mean."

he simply shook his head, lowering it before quietly saying "i'm sorry, y/n, but i really don't. i just wanna make sure you're okay."

you huffed, did he even believe his own words? you were annoyed by his obliviousness and slid down the wall, he did the same oppositely from you.

neither of you said anything for some time but with every minute that passed, you feared that he would leave the bunker at the first chance he'd get, ruining your only opportunity to have the conversation you've been wanting to have for almost a year now.

"look, bellamy.. i just don't understand how you could do what you did. you're confusing me", you explained quietly, not wanting to look at him yet.

"i know, i don't understand either", he spoke back and as your eyes met, you could tell he wasn't lying. "i was angry, angry at everyone, even you. and i know that it wasn't fair, i wasn't treating you how i should have but when i lost everything, i was ashamed. you deserved better than that and i knew you wouldn't just let me go."

"literally what were you thinking?!  i was with you through any hardships you ever had to go through. what made you assume id just leave you, what made you think that after two years with you, i'd just abandon you. what for?! having a sister? i'm not the fucking council, you should know me better than that", you were angry but you didn't want to yell at him, you wanted this to work.

he sighed, he didn't know what to tell you. of course you were right, he fully agreed but what good would him agreeing do?

"talk to me, bellamy", you basically begged.

"i'm sorry, y/n. i have never regretted anything as much as breaking your heart. you were on my mind every single day", he said truthfully, not being able to look into your eyes as he spoke until he lifted his head. "if i could turn back time, i would. i am so sorry for ruining what we had."

you stared into his eyes, giving yourself time to think about what he just told you. you'd do anything to go back to how things were, you missed bellamy so much.

"me too", you then admitted. "you know, it would've been our three year anniversary a few days ago", you said and laughed slightly. bellamy smiled at you, oh how he had missed your laugh.

"i know", he said and reached into his pocket. "i didn't get you anything new and i know that i can't just regift something i already gave you years ago but i grabbed this when i asked you to come with me and i just.. didn't have time to give it to you yet."

you listened curiously, watching him pull out a silver necklace he once gave you. your mouth and eyes widened in excitement, it was your favourite piece of jewelry ever since you'd gotten it, but when you realized you didn't have it on you, you were sure you'd never see it again and it made you incredibly sad.

"oh my god, you took it with you? thank you so much, bellamy! i was missing it already", you admitted, excitement lacing your voice. he smiled again and handed you your necklace you put on immediately.

you smiled down at yourself, carefully grabbing the star charm.

"i missed seeing you like this, you are so beautiful, y/n", bellamy spoke quietly, you simply halted in your movement. your eyebrows were raised slightly as you looked at him, what was he doing?

"y/n, i know that i don't deserve your forgiveness, fuck, i don't even deserve you! but please, i'm begging you to forgive me for what i did. i don't expect it to be easy, but-"

"why did you ask me to come with you, bell?", you interrupted him. it took him a second before he chuckled and looked to the side, then focusing on you again.

"i spent so many months ignoring you, thinking i was making things so much better when i actually ruined us. i already told you that i thought about you every single day and i knew i wouldn't survive to go down here without you", he explained. "i know that it was incredibly selfish of me to bring you here and at first i didn't want to because i didn't want to expose you to all these dangers earth might bring. i wanted you to do better than me, that's why i distanced myself from you, but i was a fool to think this would work. the hold you have on me and my life is actually insane, y/n. when i had the opportunity to protect my sister and to take you down with me, i just-"

"wait, bellamy, why are you even here in the first place", you questioned. there was no way you wouldn't know about his mission but a janitor did.

his expression changed immediately, his jaw tensed and you could tell how scared he was to tell you, but he also didn't want to lie to you. not right now, not apart of this conversation.

"y/n, i messed up, okay.. i did things i regret and leaving you wasn't my only mistake, but i couldn't let my sister go to earth unprotected, alright? i had to make sure she was safe", he rambled immediately, panic lacing his voice. you on the other hand, only got more suspicious of him. "i shot chancellor jaha on shumway's request."

your eyes widened in shook, you couldn't believe what you just heard. "what, i-"

you wanted to be upset at him so bad but something in you couldn't. "is he.."

"i don't know, that was the goal", he answered quietly, not daring to look up.

"oh my god, bellamy! are you kidding me, you can't just shoot the chancellor, you can't shoot anybody actually!"

"y/n, i know, please. i know that i messed up but i can't change it anymore", he sighed before running his hand through his hair. by now, it was finally curly and loose again and you couldn't help but notice how good he looked. but that wasn't the point, not at all.

"do you though? you changed, bellamy. you have become someone i don't recognize, whats gotten into you?!", you got up from the ground, looking around helplessly. "first you shoot the chancellor and then you lead these kids in the aggressive way you do. do you even notice what you're creating?", at this point you were yelling, you didn't care anymore.

"y/n don't yell at me", he said but you just shook your head. he got up and approached you but you backed away like earlier.

"for fucks sake, stop telling me what to do! you're not my leader, if anything, you're my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend. hell, i don't even know what we are because you didn't have the fucking balls to actually break up with me before being an asshole. i have every right to yell at you", you hissed and you could see how much your words hurt him but bellamy wasn't gonna stay quiet this time.

"i never broke up with you because i didn't fucking want to. i didn't treat you like it but fuck, y/n i love you", he was raising his voice as well now.

"loved, you loved me, you don't anymore", you said and it seemed like this time, you went too far.

"shut the fuck up, y/n. don't say shit like that, don't disrespect me like that", he yelled at you, knowing full well that your disrespect wasn't even comparable to what he put you through. "don't accuse me of not loving you because i could never stop loving you. there wasn't a single day in the past five years where i didn't love you and you know that this is true, we both do!"

you bit your lip as you tried to calm yourself. the adrenaline was overwhelming at this point but still you somehow knew that he was right. you believed him.

"and you don't have to forgive me for what i did and for the way i'm leading these kids but you know damn well that i'd do anything for you and that i love you", his voice was softening again as he was calming down too. "and i know that you're not over me. you wouldn't have come with me, if you didn't love me at least a little bit."

you took a deep breath in, he was right. of course he was, but you couldn't just forgive and forget.

"y/n, baby, i'm not asking you to forget what i did, please don't. i just wanna know that i am right and that i still know you and most importantly; that i didn't ruin your life even more when i brought you down here", his voice got quieter and you could even hear it breaking towards the end of his sentence.

"yes, bellamy i still love you", you simply admitted, sad eyes meeting his right before he pulled you into his arms.

you didn't resist because you needed this, it was what you'd been seeking for all these months.

bellamy was relieved that you still loved him. he didn't expect everything to magically be amazing again but he knew that he hadn't lost you yet. he still had a chance for redemption and he was going to fix things. he was going to be a better man for you.

his strong arms were wrapped around you tightly, holding you against his chest as he also enjoyed feeling your touch again.

"i love you so much, y/n. i'll fix everything, okay? i will never hurt you ever again and we can work through this, if you want to. i missed you so much, baby", he said. his hand was now holding your cheek as he looked into your glossy eyes.

you nodded, believing him again.

you were hoping that he was saying the truth, that he would never mess it up again. you just wanted to love him again, but you weren't stupid, things, he would have to change first.