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death era, part one. bellamy blake x fem!oc

summary 📣: with a cross over of the 100 x the walking dead, a group of young adults find themselves amongst a zombie apocalypse

warnings 🚫: violence, swearing, and...

slater’s note 🗯: i just decided to pull the trigger and post this because i’ve been wanting to for awhile (and for my followers/cobra kai fans, i’ll be posting requests soon)

nights like these made athena glad she’s alive. those nights are rare, but they were real and they happened, but only for a little while. 

the wind rustles through her hair while the pitch dark night sky had a tint of navy blue in it. the stars were bright and she just let it all seep into her skin. eyes closed, head tilted back, while her lips were pressed in a relaxed line, breathing in and out with relief.

the fire makes sounds like small twigs breaking beneath the pressure of ones foot, it’s almost too loud, too bright, but it created heat and athena needed heat if she was going to get through the night, at least while she was conscious.

athena exhales, lowering her eyes back to the small fire inked out in orange and yellow, so pretty but so dangerous. it could take out the whole forest if it wasn’t tamed. 

everything was so pretty and peaceful in that moment, but like she knew, those moments were rare and barely happened, so when she heard the real break of a branch, not the fire, she was ready and not surprised that the peaceful moment came down shattering, like broken glass.

she had the gun pointed at a man who was quick to throw up his hands in surrender, but his legs continued to move, slowly, and steadily. 

“stop moving.”

“calm down, little girl, i’m just here for the heat.”

“the heat isn’t to share so stop fucking moving,” she wasn’t scared, people like him didn't scare her. the kind of people who traveled alone and put up the defense that they weren’t scared when deep down they were just cowards who stole things that weren’t theirs. 

she cocked her gun, following him as he made the movements to begin to circle her. she knew that trick, it was one made to intimidate people, to catch people a little off their guard. when would they strike? what would they do? how would they do it? 

his hands were still up, that meant he was stalling and he was thinking of a plan. she had her gun still raised, athena wasn’t concerned, he could come charging at her and he’d be another life added to her list, “you come any closer now i’ll shoot you.”

“i don’t believe you, little girl,” he stopped right across from her, the fire flaming up his body from the angle he was at. his hands lowered slowly but he still kept his shoulders up in hesitation, like he was trying to figure her out. 

the nickname angered her, it made her think he must have done it on purpose to defy her, to anger her from her calm exterior, but from the position he was in made her think otherwise, he didn’t seem that smart.

“you don't have to believe me, it’s just what’s gonna happen.”

he breathed out, “i just want to share the fire.”

everyone wanted fire but not everyone was willing to share it. there was always that hesitation in the back of everyone’s brain the gnawed away, wondering whether or not if in the moment you were going to die, that that person, that stranger sitting across from you, were they going to kill you?

athena, she wasn’t afraid to die, it was like her whole life she had been preparing to do so. everyone died, it was the outcome of everything and you couldn't prevent it. 

no one should be afraid to die.

she pulled the trigger, air exhaling out from her nostrils in some sort of relief of pressure, “it’s not yours to share.”

she watches his body sink to the ground, folding to his knees before falling over on his side. no one should be afraid. 

not even the cowards.

“you shot him.”

athena froze, she could feel her heart in her throat.

so he wasn't alone...

she flipped around just like before with her gun raised just as high, pointing at the more built man who looked quite opposite to the man she had just shot. this man was younger, and yet more built. he had muscle and meat on him while the other one looked to be only skin and bones. 

“he wouldn't leave.”

“you didn't ask him to.”

“i asked him to stop moving.”

“he did.”

“he would have killed me.”

“now how do you know that?”

she pursed her lips, the feeling of air almost felt entirely pushed out of her throat like she was suffocating. this man for some reason made her feel a lot more nervous than she usually was with other people. 

it was because he didn't seem scared, he seemed comfortable, like talking to her was a normal thing and they were only old friends who just came across eachother. and those were the type of people that worried her. 

“i just wanted him to ask you some questions,” he finally said, his arms lightly raising as if to caution her more than himself, “just some questions, nothing dangerous.”

“questions can be dangerous,” she mumbled quickly, her arms beginning to hurt from the position she had been holding for so long and uncomfortably. 

“not the ones he was asking.”

“then why didn't you ask them yourself?” she quirked a brow, “you seem to know you were going to get your friend killed but if you knew your questions weren't dangerous how come you didn't ask them yourself?”

she stumped him, he pursed his lips while exhaling audibly through his nose, “i’ve been watching you, i knew you would've shot before he had sat down, and look at that, i was right.”

she was caught off guard, her posture and hold on the gun slightly weakening as she narrowed her brows at him, her jaw clenching. that was her worst nightmare, being watched, but it had never actually happened before because she was good at what she did, she was silent and could sense things very easily. apparently not as well as she thought. 

“I've been watching you,” he repeated, licking his lips slightly and quickly, “i think you can help me-”

“why would i help you?-”

“because i’ll kill you if you don’t.”

she scoffed, slightly tilting her head to the side while her eyes were closed a bit, “that’d be really nice wouldn't it?” she lowered her gun, turning her back to him, no longer perceiving him as a threat, not as a big one anyways, if he wanted to kill her, he would’ve already, if he wanted to hurt her, he would’ve done that the moment she shot his friend or even during the moments he had been supposedly watching her.

what he said was a stupid thing to say. 

“dying is a luxury not all of us are privileged with,” she mumbled, looking back up at the blanketed sky full of bright stars that could light up a room like a lamp, “you’re gonna have to come up with a better threat if you want me to help you.”

he presses his lips together, watching athena discreteetly before rubbing his face in frustration while tipping on the back of his heel. the man before her was not used to rejection, and athena could tell even with her back turned to him.

“you’re athena,” he mumbles, saying it precisely as if he was about it give her a whole speech, already having a new plan. 

he was hoping to pull this one out later, but he hadn't planned to be practically laughed at after his key sentence that was supposed to start it all, I'm going to kill you. 

it made her freeze, tightening her grip on the gun she still had in her hand. 

her name, how the fuck did he know that?

him knowing her name seemed to be scarier than the threat of death. 

“you’re athena, and you’ve been alone for how many days now?”

he continued to stare at the back of her head, waiting for her to just turn around with the shocked expression he just knew she had on. just waiting for her to turn around so he could redeem himself, so he could have the upper hand once again.

but the truth was, he never did have the upper hand. if he wanted it, he would have had a gun pointed to the back of her head, he would have been the one to confront her instead of using that poor skeleton man already bound for death. 

athena was always the one with the upper hand. the hand gun now once again pointed to him, her body turned just as he wished but not with the expression he had expected. 

she glared, her eyes in slits as she was just daring him to make a move. 

“you leave me alone now,” she whispered, her voice filled with so much will and power that he couldn't mistake it for anything else, “i don’t care who you are or how you know my name, just get the hell away from me before i blow your brains out.”

i do what i have to do, part one. bellamy blake x reader

summary 📣: in which you point your gun at someone you never thought you’d point at

warning/s 🚫: swearing, gif not mine

slater’s note 🗯: idk if i wanna do a part two but probably will

“pike!”

nothing could bring you down from the high cloud of anger that filled your mind like a fog machine. the saturation and tension building up higher and higher, making your head want to explode as you marched closer and closer to the man you were about to kill.

“miss y/l/n,” a small smile filled his lips, a friendly one for an old friend, not catching onto your very angry tone, “to what do i owe the pleasure?”

it took you by surprise that he recognized you, let alone knew your name and voice. it had been so long and you were sure that the only thing he would’ve remembered of you was the simple delinquent that tried to pull him off of john murphy, something that seem like a distant memory from a past life.

“i’m not sure this will be a pleasure for you charles,” you drew back your arm once you stood less than a foot away from him, sending your fist for the center of his face.

just as fast as you pulled away from the punch, you tugged out your gun, aiming the barrel of the tool to his face, inches away from his nose. it made him twitch and raise his arms slowly in caution.

“tell me why you killed three hundred innocent people sent to protect us for no goddamn reason?”

“now, miss y/l/n,” his voice began to layer out in nervousness, low and almost shaken as he stared hard into your eyes, “don’t take me as a fool but those people were far from innocent and not sent to protect us.”

he added a little laugh to the end of his sentence, like it was common sense that indra’s army was more of a threat rather than a help, like you were a fool for believing the better of people.

“we can protect ourselves.”

“bullshit,” you say it fast and loud making him flinch before sighing in realization that it was only your voice and not the gun. sound was becoming numb and blending together the more he stood there in a weak point. “the only reason you’re alive right now is because i didn’t shoot you the first sight i had of you in the woods.”

“that’s different.”

“is it really?” you tilted your head slightly, questioning his logic with shooting before questioning.

the first time you you had really seen pike on earth, you hid in the trees, watching him and his crew stomp through the woods, looking for the rest of arkadia, gun aimed straight for his head.

if it weren’t for kane, he would’ve been dead in the forest floor, ridding you from the situation you were in right at that moment.

it’s silent as you stared at him roughly, eyelids scrunched and only revealing so much of your angry pupils, “the last time i checked you said use your resources, not kill them.”

your referral to the class he had taught just before you were sent down to the ground made him hesitate, his eyes finding the ground as he tried to think of a way to back himself out of the deep corner he was already in.

“it was not your decision to kill those people,” you sucked in a breath, “you had no fucking right-“

“y/n?”

you almost swore aloud as you heard his voice and then saw his sweat gleaming face full of confusion. you knew you’d run into him, but you prayed he wouldn’t butt into your chaotic arrival so you wouldn’t have to shoot him too.

“bellamy, go away.”

“y/n, don’t shoot, you don’t understand-“

“bellamy, don’t think i won’t pull a gun on you too,” you glanced at him, hesitating to look away from your target who was slowly lowering his hands.

he thought bellamy was going to save him and it made you uneasy as to why pike thought that. it was becoming very obvious that the man knew something between the two of you with the way nervousness was beginning to escape his exterior.

“y/n, think for a moment,” bellamy rose his arms while slowly moving towards you causing you to act out of impulsion, raising another gun quickly, pointing it in his face just as pike.

“y/l/n, you don’t understand. we had to do it, they would’ve killed us if we hadn’t killed them first, it wasn’t a risk i was willing to take.”

“no, you killed them because you were scared, pike,” you watch his arms slowly go back up, falling right back into a place of vulnerability. “and because you were scared, you put a target on our back, you killed every single one of us.”

“y/n, just listen.”

“bellamy, shut up,” your head knocked toward his direction, a warning look feening on your face, begging him to keep his mouth shut because you were so close to the edge of pulling one of the two triggers in your hands, “shut up.”

“you’re making a fool of yourself, miss y/l/n,” pike’s voice rose an octave, deepening as if to intimidate you, but you were still the one with the gun, “put the weapons down and we won’t be forced to shoot you.”

“go ahead. you shoot me, guess where the bullet of my gun goes? your head.”

“y/n, please, put the gun down”

“listen to bellamy, y/n,” his voice drops again, this time into a more soothing tone, “bellamy’s always been one to trust, right? so why question his ways now?”

you narrowed your brows slightly, curving your head to give him the strangest look, like you were baffled as to why he would say something like that.

he caught on to your questioning look, his facial features easing as if telling you to hear him out, but you didn’t want to do anything along the lines of doing so.

“look at how many times bellamy has saved you, kept you safe... you’ve never questioned him and his ways before so why do it now? he’s trying to keep you safe.”

“i’ve never questioned bellamy before because he was never under the influence of a egotistical asshole who thinks violence is the answer to everything,” it was a little biased as bellamy was the exact same way but at least he had a little heart to him.

when you first met bellamy, it took everything in you not to strangle him and every decision he made, but as time continued on and he got used to his environment and role, he became tolerable and no longer made decisions that only benefited him, but more or so what was good for his people. you found a good friend.

but now, you hated how he seemed to be backtracking to the slick back asshole dressed in a guards uniform with a stupid smirk and taunting remarks.

“y/n, you trust me?”

“not anymore,” you eyed bellamy from the side, seeing his heart dropping through the core of his eyes. hurt. “how could you do this?”

“i had to.”

“no, you didn’t,” you shook your head, voice filling with hurt as well.

“think back to mount weather, y/n. think about how everything bellamy did, was for you.”

you frowned, your eyes going back to pike, “bellamy didn’t give a shit about me-“

you felt a sudden pressure on your chest as your arm was swung up in the air, the gun firing as your finger pressured onto both triggers.

you hit the ground and realization came upon you once you realized bellamy laid on top of you, one of his arms wrapped around your waist while the other gripped your one arm tightly, the one that was pointed at him.

you lifted your head off the ground slightly, not hearing anything but silence, wondering what had happened.

and to your wish, you shot the man of violence.

...but in the shoulder, and he laid on the ground with people beginning to swarm him. it was then did the silence become loud and noise slowly begun to fill your ears like water.

you felt winded. the pressure of bellamy hadn’t helped either for his whole body weight was pressed against your chest and stomach.

you groaned, hands reaching up to press against his chest but all you could do was squirm from underneath his weight before he grabbed onto both your arms, pinning them above your head.

you let go of the gun you shot pike with, allowing it to fall to the ground, finally falling to the pressure of his intense influence on your body.

“do anything and i’ll kill you.”

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we’re not alone, part one. bellamy blake x reader

summary: in which reader and bellamy discover they and the rest of the plane crash survivors are not the only ones on the island

warning/s: swearing, gif not mine

slater’s note: based off “lost”.

READ BEFORE READING FIC

“bellamy,” you reached behind you, blindly trying to grip and get ahold of him as you were suddenly shunned into a shocked and practically terrified state. “bellamy.”

you gaped at the man before you. a tall tall man, taller than bellamy who had another person slung over his shoulder, a person you soon realized to be murphy.

his shirt was torn and damp from the previous rainfall. dirt was smudged and staining his pants and white button up. you could tell a lot about someone with their attire, especially this man, and from the sight of it, it looked as if he hadn’t changed for days, as in wherever he came from, they lacked supplies.

bellamy finally turned. realization had hit him just as fast, his arm gripping your forearm mindlessly as he tilted his body, attempting to ease you further away from the man. the unfamiliarity of the person before the two of you could only mean bad news, for you were deep within the wilderness, far from the rest of your group and friends.

unfamiliarity meant danger, especially when it came to human beings you had never seen before on a desert island.

before bellamy could speak or let alone do anything, the man filled the silence.

“where is your doctor?”

°•

you had found abby in the bunker with kane, both occupied in their own entertainment before three loud clumped footsteps interrupted their peace.

“abby,” you could see the coloration of her face fade at the sight of the huge unfamiliar man just as what happened to you. her eyes didn’t meet yours, nor did kane’s as he got to his feet rather fast in defense. “it’s murphy, he’s been shot.”

it was then did the speed pick up and the attention from the man was drawn away and contracted to the frail boy held over his shoulders. you stared in despair as you watched it all unfold, helplessly, your arms hanging to your sides for you had no idea what to do, what to make of this.

five days ago you had bid murphy, two other men, and a little boy goodbyes. one of the men, michael had built a makeshift raft, a very large one made from scrap of the plane and resources that you all could find from the jungle.

your chest had swelled with uneasiness as you watched the nasty boy disappear within the dark along with his friends, having as much hope a person could have for them to find help, a boat, more land, whatever that wasn’t this island.

what went wrong?

why was he injured and who was this strange man?

murphy was tossed in the shower, cold water raining down on him causing him conscious to reappear with coughs and groans of pain.

you clenched your jaw and held your breath as you listened from the main room, eyes finding the floor before you felt a hand grip your bicep.

you looked up to see bellamy, not looking at you but rather behind you, uneasiness filling his eyes just as they filled yours. “who are you?”

you turned your head toward the man, now getting a better look at him. his eyes looked empty, his shoulder sulking and low as he only stood there, not knowing what to do with himself but stay silent. it seemed as if he already did his job, completed what he was set to do when coming here, for now, it seemed it was his time to shut down from any other interaction.

you now fully turned your body, your back practically pressed against bellamys, your hand almost indistinctively pressed against his chest in fear that he would jump at the man. you knew that voice. he was starting to get defensive and protective from the unfamiliarity that hit him in the chest. 

“i’ve never seen you before.”

“bellamy, i don’t think he’s a threat,” you almost bit your tongue when saying this, defying his decision with being cautious. that decision was valid and probably the right idea to go about this situation but your mind was very well overwhelmed with the fact of the raft failing. 

“y/n,” he gave you a pointed look, pulling at your arm as if pulling you away from the man, wanting to have a private conversation. “he shows up out of nowhere with murphy hauled over his shoulder, looking as if he was the one who put the bullet in murphy’s shoulder. how do we know that’s not true? where’s michael? where’s everyone else?”

“bellamy, i don’t know,” you shook your head, suddenly gripping his arm that held your own. “i don’t know but i have a feeling we wouldn't be here right now if he was one of them.”

“y/n,” his glare is even hard now, gripping your arm tighter as if that were to coax you into switching to his mindset, but it only made you clench your jaw harder. “we can’t let our guard down. i’ve never seen him before. as far as we’ve known we have been alone. where did he come from?”

“you are on an island my friend,” the man tipped his head to bellamy, “you’ve never been alone.”

the two of you turned your attention to the man quickly, surprised to his response. you glanced up to bellamy, seeing a slight twitch in his eye and his jaw tightening causing his jawline to heighten in sharpness. he looked back down to you, licking his the side of his cheek before looking back to the man.

°•

“you know it was going great at first,” murphy rolled his head before speaking, his voice low and filled with uncomfortableness from the gunshot wound still eating away at him. everyone subtly crowded around murphy in one of the bedrooms while you waited out in the main room, watching the strange man while still listening the best you could. 

you had to convince bellamy to allow you to watch him without the brooding company of himself, fearing he'd choke the man out if they were left alone in the same room. the two of you sat on chairs on opposite ends of the room, lacking eye contact as you stared at the floor and his eyes traveled off into space. 

“we got a signal of another boat and you couldn't believe the excitement we all felt until we realized the boat wasn't there to rescue us but to only take the kid,” you lifted your attention to the direction of the room, your chest tightening up to his words. the kid, was michael’s ten year old boy, walt. “they shot me in the arm before lighting our boat on fire, leaving us to drown.” 

your eyes drew back to the man, practically devastated and looking to him, almost asking if what murphy was saying was actually true. he didn’t look back at you. 

“we somehow ended back on shore only to find a group of people,” murphy had grabbed abby’s wrist lightly, proving he seemed to be a lot more loopy than she thought. “they’re the others, the back of the plane. they survived.”

it all went silent, the strangers eyes finally met yours, finally revealing that this part was true with the sincereness buried in his pupils. you got up rather fast with your hands clenching at your sides. 

you felt your mind suddenly bursting with a feeling of ambition due to the realization. before the crash, the back plane broke off, sending off into god knows where causing the group from the front plane survivors think they were dead. 

“take me to them.”

he looked up to you, his chin nuzzled within the palm of his hand as if he were bored. he didn't speak nor did he make any move to stand to his feet until you marched forward and closer with your eyes filled with a solid, persistent stare, “take me to them.”

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secrets out. bellamy blake x reader

summary 🛁: alie gets under the skin of everyone, even the ones who seem the most shut off

warning/s 🚽: swearing, depression, talks of miscarriage, and gif not mine, angst

slater’s note 🪞: season three truly was the best season. this is... dramatic? it has potential but i gave up.

it was your turn.

alie crossed all of them off like a list. one by one, mind fucking them until they couldn’t handle it.

mind manipulation, you knew all about it and you were certain that it wasn’t something you could be so easily affected by. you had met a lot of people, had a lot of boyfriends, and friends, and even your own parents who enjoyed getting into your head with simple words that made you feel guilty or sick to your stomach. 

you were sure she couldn’t get into yours. 

“hello, sweetheart,” raven quirked her head, already analyzing you and your current mood. “see they finally brought in the big guns.”

you humph in amusement with lips slightly twitching upward as you made your way to one of the boxes that sat close to raven. you were hoping to rest, put your mind to ease as you sat before her, not expecting much to come from her mouth since you were a closed book. 

clarke and jasper were practically left open and begging to be read as they sized up to raven with their emotions still filling their eyes to the brim. they were easy targets, easy to tear down, and easy to extract a fit from. 

and although bellamy seemed just as shut off as you, he really wasn’t. bellamy had so many problems shoved in the back of his mind that they begun to pile and overflow. and with anger issues compiled from unsettled issues in his past; he was just as much as an easy target as they were.

everyone hits rock bottom, but not all get to face the humiliation of others also realizing and coming to spit in your face.. a plan alie was hoping to put in motion, she just had to bait you first.

“you’ve always been the smart one,” she slightly twisted her head, raven’s eyes dark and filled with a conscious that wasn’t her own. “always thought for the better of others.. never yourself,” she shook her head and you could tell by the way her eyes slightly squinted she had something up her sleeve.

you were intrigued.

“so.. selfless and yet you’re always blamed for every problem that comes up. why do you let that happen, y/n?”

you tilted your head to the side, not exactly finding truth in the last of her words, you had never felt blamed, and if anyone was a scape goat, it’d be murphy. but you still found yourself listening, eating up the lie like a story.

“which is why i’m confused as to.. why you took the chip..” her face screwed up and at the sudden words you inhaled sharply knowing very well everyone heard her words just as you did. “i mean, y/n, as much as a smart decision that was, it was a rather selfish thing of you to do, don’t you think?”

you kept your mouth shut, knowing this wasn’t the last of her words. she had a plan of some kind, she was still trying to get into your head and she felt so close by the way she had just watched you adjust yourself in the slightest way possible.

“like i said before,” you mumbled, “your chip didn’t work.”

“that’s too bad, isn’t it?” she whispered, almost taunting you, “whatever’s hurting you must be something real bad with how brave and strong you are, or—excuse me, seem to be.”

“someone should go in there,” jasper suddenly stood from his spot at the door, listening in, his mouth beginning to grow dry as he stood up anxiously, looking between bellamy and the rest of your friends listening with just as slack and uncomfortable expressions; taken aback.

he made a move to go in but bellamy quickly stopped him, “just wait.”

“bellamy-”

“but then again, the strongest of us always seem to carry the most. you would know wouldn’t you?”

your mouth twitched from frowning deeper as you thought of all the past torment, from the moment you were born to the moment you landed on the ground.

“shall we talk about why you took the chip?”

“we can talk about whatever you want,” you leaned forward with your elbows on your knees.

this couldn’t get any worse than it already was.

“i want you to choose. bellamy or mount weather?”

you swallowed harshly, but your voice was still stern as you stared at her with narrowed eyes, “neither,” you leaned forward, thinking of the many flaws to weaknesses that centered in your heart just with the those topics. “i want to talk about you, raven, only you.”

“deflecting the question won’t work, y/n,” she almost glared at you, “you said we could talk about what i wanted and now i made a decision; i want to talk about what happened in mount weather after you got shot.”

your face dropped and you didn’t even try to hide it, remembering exactly what she was talking about and the room suddenly felt hot and you wanted to leave but you felt completely sucked in like she was a vacuum, giving you no choice but to get swallowed.

“you were pregnant, right?” raven’s head dipped to the side, already knowing she had gotten to you despite your face no longer showing a sign of distress. “with a little girl?”

jasper’s gaze, as well as everyone else’s, landed on the side of bellamy’s jaw, eyes wide, holding their breath, waiting for him to step in, to stop it, do anything but freeze up like a stick, struck dumb with shock.. and hurt and a pain he couldn’t distinguish, something he had never felt before to the point he didn’t even know if it was all real.

raven tsk’d, eyes landing on her lap, “such a shame really.” you could see the sick smile that began to climb up her cheeks, making you want to scream, shout, anything to get rid of the pain clawing at your chest. “does bellamy know?” she looks up, as if wanting to really know, as if she didn’t already. “i mean he is the father after all, you think he’d deserve to know.”

he knew now.

“bellamy, do something,” clarke gaped at him, her hand tugging at his arm, begging him to snap out of the trance he was in. “bellamy, you need to go in there. you need to get her out of there."

“he held you... thinking you'd die, completely unaware of the baby inside that really took the bullet," raven inhaled, sighing, her head shaking. "that really is sad, i don't know how you didn't end it-"

you got up and she smiled, anticipating this moment. but you don't do what she wished you'd do. you stood calmly, staring deep into her hazel pupils, amusement snowing around, almost encouraging you to inflict pain on her.

"you're not real," your voice is low and quiet, "you can't effect me. you promote a false devotion and promise a final happiness and safety from pain, but you're flawed and can't even bring the weak of us down."

your eyes dart back and forth in search of some emotion in her eyes, but it seems she goes blank and shuts down like a computer until her jaw tips up, pulling closer to your face, whispering back, "you think that you're so brave, y/n. you think that you're some courageous soldier just because of the luck you had of showing up in the right place at the right time," you feel a hand grip your bicep while the other wrapped around your mid section, slowly pulling you away from the words that ran out of her mouth fast, “but you're wrong, deep down you're coward just like all your friends and my point is only further proven when you took the chip, because admit it y/n, you're scared, you're scared-"

you felt like you had been ripped from a different world once bellamy had spun you around to face him. your body shook internally as realization overcame you of what had all been revealed within that room. bellamy looked scattered as he stared into your eyes with his own wide ones. he didn't look himself; he looked worried and maybe even sad.

very sad.

"y/n, sit down for me, please," he grasped your arms lightly, pulling you down on one of the chair slowly and gently, afraid you'd break under his touch. he was completely disoriented and he wasn't even sure if what was all happening was real.

you stayed blank in the mind, feeling completely drained and distraught to the thought of what was running around in his head right now. it hurt that he now knew everything.

"talk to me," he slowly kneeled before you, "what—baby, what happened to you?"

you inhaled sharply, the feeling of tears beginning to form in the crest of your eyes as you begun to feel overwhelmed—your chest tightened and it seemed like such a strain on your lungs when you tried to breathe, "bellamy, a lot happened in... mount weather that i can't even begin to explain. i'm not even sure what was real and what wasn't."

"i was in a dark spot," it was hard to force out and you could barely look him in the eye with the intensity he kept within his eyes. his heart hurt for you and he couldn't even begin to think straight with all that was revealed with raven. "i can't think straight half the time, bellamy and after everyone was killed at mount weather.. and i was shot... i didn't feel like the same person anymore.. nothing felt right..."

you choked. your voice caught in the back of your throat as you attempted to explain yourself but he stopped you, shushing your voice as your tears begun to slowly fall and paint your cheeks. he pulled you close by the back of your neck, stroking his thumb against your scarred skin while the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you to him and his warmth. he held you tightly and so hard, that his ribs hurt but he didn't care because he was afraid that you'd slip from his grip, like you had before.

but you stayed and you held him just as tight, allowing yourself to sink, because this was the only thing that truly felt right.

navigation.

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @myalupinblack @cc13723things @uselesssapphickitten @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @itzstacie @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @dayanaralight @nyx3028 @hizziestial

death era.

part two of n/a.

part one, part two

ricky rocks. hey friends, i decided to update:D

athena had dreamt of death many times. even in the youngest of her years she wondered what it felt like, what would be the cause, and whether it’d be untimely. she thought about it so much, it didn’t even scare her.

but once the apocalypse had hit and people started dropping left from right, athena’s deathly dreams had increased as well as worries and concerns of death being untimely and true, until it just… stopped. she got used to it; the feeling of being terrorized.

now, the boy before her smiled making her feel terrorized. a horrible feeling swelling to the core of her chest, warm but aching as she gripped her gun tighter in hopes he’d just go away, he’d leave her alone.

but he didn’t move and it was silent until he speaks words she knows are bullshit;

“i don’t intend on hurting you, athena,” his rough voice blended well with the cracking of the fire, the soft light climbing up the front of his face, illuminating his tan and freckles and every scar that complimented his face more than it should have.

“then leave.”

he smiled, dimples piercing the corner of his cheeks while he tilted his head to the side, “now why would i do that?”

“because i’m not scared to fucking shoot you.”

“you wouldn’t want to do that,” his smiled increased in taunt, feeling he now had the upper hand even if she had the gun. “especially when i have something you want.”

athena’s eyebrows narrowed as she stared at him more closely now. what could she possibly want from him?

“i’ll make a deal with you.”

"a deal?" she raised her brow, a feeling of deep amusement entering her stomach as she slightly tilted her head to the side, watching him even more carefully now.

"yes, a deal," he cut her off before she can make a smart remark or shoot him down. "i promise, it's worth your while."

"why?”

"because i promise you, i know what you want and i can get it to you,” his eyebrows slightly raising and his tone slowing. there was something about it that made her want to fall into that, trust that, but that’s what seemed so untrusting about it—all too well rehearsed. “trust me.”

silence, until she inhales and narrows her brows, “how do you know what i want?”

“because you want what everyone else does in this world.”

“and what’s that?” she motioned for him to continue.

“safety, shelter, food, water,” he motioned, “reassurance that you’ll wake up in the morning.”

“and you have all that?” she quirked a brow finding that hard to believe.

“no, not yet.”

“but you’re saying you can give that all to me?”

he nodded his head.

she gave in, “what do you want?”

“terminus.”

she frowned harder at the name, knowing very well what he was talking about, “what do i have to offer you?”

“the way. for the past week you have been making it impossible for me to find it,” a sound of fake grief comes over his voice and look of strategy comes into clarity, “you’re the one who’s been tearing the maps down, right?”

athena felt her stomach sink deeper at his question. just the thought that he had been watching her long enough to know that and she didn’t spot him once—terrified her. she kept her mouth shut, once again unsure about his motive and unsure of his nature. even if he wanted her, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt her.

“right,” he nodded to himself, “i know you know the way. you must with the amount of maps and pieces of paper you pull off and burn. just, why?”

she hated that question, she didn’t even know how to answer that in the first place.

“you must have a good reason, athena.”

she clenched her jaw. she felt her head would explode if he stayed any longer, “you follow the train tracks.”

“what-“

“you follow the tracks and you get where you need to be,” she mumbled, “there, i gave you what you wanted, now go.”

“i’m afraid that’s not the deal,” he tsked, tipping his head a bit, “that’s not what i want, you know that. hell, you haven’t even got what you want.”

she stood suddenly, now being more firm with her aim as she had her gun right back pointed at bellamy, “i want you to leave.”

“now, you don’t want that,” he stood, mirroring her, causing a spike of anxiety to strike her chest. “c’mon now, athena. tell me, why did you take those maps down?” his conversation was all over and she wondered if that was to distract her from him inching closer. “afraid, are you?” he wasn’t even across from the fire now, but almost within arm length.

“why would i be?”

“you tell me,” he reached out to take the gun but she yanked with a pull of the trigger, missing, but bellamy wasn’t aware as he tackled her body to the ground, now fighting her for the gun.

they were rolling in the dirt now in fight for the gun and for a pin but it seemed she wouldn’t win either one, especially once he had her pushed further into the hard ground with the pressure of his hands pinning her arms by her head and his body overall overweighting hers.

“this isn’t a fight you’ll win.”

“try me,” she grunted, attempting to grasp for the gun inches away from her hand, but her world went dark before she could find any redemption.

**

she prayed she wasn’t dead. for once, she wished she wasn’t dead.

and she wasn’t.

the clear sweet noise of birds eased her awake but quickly swayed her into an aching feeling that resonate at the side of her skull. a sudden wave of hot flashes over came her and she suddenly felt sick to her stomach as she tried her best to sit up from her position on the cold hard ground. 

she doesn’t even think of last night till she hears the whistling and everything crashes back to her like a fall. she eased her hand to her head and the feeling of dry blood knitting up her hair kisses her finger tips and she cringes harder, the feeling of the stranger hitting her with a hidden gun, renews, and it makes her groan.

“you’re awake.”

she grunts in reply, now gaining feeling in her arms and legs as she pushes her self to sit up right, now leaned against a tree, trying to clear her eyes.

“i didn’t mean to hit you so hard,” he leans down and her vision suddenly clears once his hand pushes against the side of her head, looking to the small head wound, “you just wouldn’t listen.”

she leans away from his touch, the inside of her head screaming for her to sock him in the face but she knows better and it wouldn’t go well, especially with him having the upper hand.

“i need you to know that i won’t be leaving you until you shake my hand and make a deal with me.”

she narrows her brows, still clasping the side of her head. she wanted to swear at him but there was some strange force that was keeping her grounded and comfortable—something that was telling her the stranger in front of her wasn’t a threat.

“fine, as long as you don’t fucking hit me upside the head that hard again,” she eyes him roughly, now pushing herself to her feet. “jesus.”

he leans away from her, slightly smiling at her grumbling, reminding him of his sister. he watches her walk over to where her bag was with a slight tip in her step making it obvious that she was still out of it from the hit. he knew she wouldn’t try to run, not in the dizzy state she was in, there was something reassuring him of it.

“my name is bellamy by the way.”

athena sighed, beginning to dig in her bag for the one thing that’d get him out of her hair, “well, bellamy, you’re a fucking ass.”

he laughs dryly, still leaned by the spot she was previously at until he got to his feet, now turning to lean on the tree with his arms crossed.

“you want to get to terminus, you’re going to need a map,” athena turned, now facing bellamy and holding out a folded piece of paper she was saving for herself. “there are many different ways to get there but i’m still not sure if there’s a there to get to.”

terminus had honestly seemed too good to be true—hence why she was so skeptical of its existence. athena had put it on the bottom of her bucket list especially after hearing all the bad rumors of it from a woman she used to trade with, deciding it’s discovery could wait. but maybe she’d know sooner rather than later.

now seeing bellamy in light was strange. although he was equally as appealing as in the dark, his features looked more sharper and striking. the hard look on his face made her stomach tumble as she handed the map to him and he took it hesitantly, “i was hoping to clear it myself but.. seems like you’ll get there before i ever will.”

“this wasn’t our deal.”

“we made no deal,” she moves away from him with a shift backwards on her feet, “don’t take offense to this bellamy, but i don’t want to travel with you, especially after this blood wound on my head.”

“you’re not going to get there on your own, athena. there are a lot more people scarier than i am and who will do a lot more than hit you with a gun,” he throws the map to her feet. “i want you to take me there yourself.”

“i’m not going,” she sat herself down, “i changed my mind and i changed it awhile ago. you can’t make me go anywhere near that place.”

bellamy clenches his jaw and a sudden twist of anger overcomes him as he feels as though all his options had ran out and away from him. he sat down quickly next to her, shifting back and forth, looking for her eyes that were fixated on the ground.

“my group got split up a month ago and before that we were planning to make our way to terminus. i can only assume that that’s where they’re going and therefore where i have to go,” the tone of his voice is hard, making him sound like he was all business oppose to playful—something it was last night. “the only problem is i can’t go because i don’t where it is and your map doesn’t reassure anything.”

she tips her head back, eyeing him closely and the sudden new persona of his that actually made her uneasy and want to surrender.

“i don’t trust you, athena, as i’m sure you don’t of me,” he leans closer to her, now whispering, “that’s why you’re coming with me.”

“or what?”

it was one question. simple. something that couldn’t hurt but the taunting tone and the way she leaned in real close to him didn’t help the discomposed feeling building up in his chest.

“i’ll kill you,” he mumbles, “for real this time, i won’t just hit you upside the head, i’ll kill you but you won’t get the pleasure of being buried underground like that man you shot last night. you’ll be left for the walkers.”

silence.

“you act like death would be so scary,” athena presses on with her own threat, her nose almost touching against his, “i have seen many men like you, bellamy. men who think a bullet couldn’t stop them until they’re proved wrong with the gun i carry and the no hesitation policy i have. you don’t scare me.”

it seemed like routine now and she wasn’t surprise when he pulled the gun on her, pressing it up to her throat, “you have a brave mouth.”

“you can’t keep waving your gun like you’ll shoot me,” she glared at him, “if you need me so bad, why shoot me?”

“i can’t have you going around telling people about me and the things i want, athena.”

“paranoid, aren’t you, bellamy?” she shoved on top of him, landing the both them on the ground, fumbling for the gun that he kept a tight grip on. he was persistent and was already rolling on top of her—once again with the upper hand.

her mind was racing and the feeling of his body weight pressing against her caused significant anxiety and adrenaline that made her heart scream to move but he got up before she could do anything in response to it.

“knock it off,” he towered over her, his arm outstretched and pointed with the handgun to her body that still lied on the ground helplessly.

“bellamy, please, bellamy,” a sudden franticness overcame her as his tall figure now had the higher ground—she begs, begs for her life with the reality that hits the situation, “please—”

his eyes soften, images flicking between his sister and her. so much alike, both still so innocent no matter how hard they try to put up a wall of steel and strong hearted faces.

“athena—“

except his sister and athena weren’t alike at all. athena held no sympathy for him, she didn’t fear him, and she just wanted to live. that’s why she quickly slipped her foot from underneath him causing his hefty body to crash against the forest floor, leaves and branches crunching beneath him.

bellamy’s gun skipped away from him like a rock on water, as he had let go of it in surprise. she was quick, climbing on top of him just to grab the gun like a reflex.

and just as bellamy had processed what had exactly happened and that he was no longer on the higher ground, she was already straddling his waist, leaned back, hair ripped from her already messy pony tail with the barrel of the gun filling most of his eyesight.

“you don’t have to do this-“

“it’s you or me, right?” she breathes unsteadily, still trying to catch her breath, “only one really entitled for this world.”

“athena, i am just trying to survive, just like you,” his hands are up midair, his head bobbing up and down, struggling to keep it up, wanting to see her, “you’d do the same thing-“

“shut up,” she huffs, “you don’t get to tell me what i’d do. you don’t know me.”

“and you don’t know me,” he shoved himself up fast, pulling out a blade she had never seen before and slicing the sharp edge into her shoulder. “i always get what i want.”

athena let out a loud yelp, her hand pressing against the large gash that had immediately started staining her top with liquid red. her breathing became labored as she stared over to him, feeling even more woozy than when she had woken up.

“you underestimate what i can do, athena. you don’t realize i’m not like all those men you claim to put bullets in,” he’s out of breath himself, pushing to his feet before nabbing the gun she held. “and like you, i also have a no hesitation policy.”

he rose the gun and pulled the trigger before making one swift swing to the side of her head causing everything to go dead and black.

navigation.

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @cc13723things @uselesssapphickitten @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @itzstacie @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @dayanaralight @nyx3028 @hizziestial

trying to survive. bellamy blake x reader

summary: in which being bellamy’s best friend can cause a lot of trouble especially when it’s known camp wide and especially when there’s a fugitive on the loose  

warning/s:  swearing, season one asshole murphy, bellamy almost dying, hurt feelings, off script because i don’t remember like anything from season one

slater’s note: WOOHOO BELLAMY SZN

“where’s bellamy?”

octavia froze at the sound of your voice, her back slightly straightening up as her hand gripped the walkie in her hand tighter. you could see the strain in her knuckles as they turned white, causing you to furrowed your eyebrows, walking closer to her, trying to get sight of her eyes, but she had them closed, tightly, and she didn’t want to open them.

“y/n...”

“octavia, where’s bellamy?”

she had finally opened them up with a sigh, peaking into your own with hesitation and nervousness. it made your facial features tighten together with the sudden pain filling feeling in your stomach. 

it couldn’t be good. something was definitely wrong with the way octavia seemed to have made no move to unscrew her mouth—but instead made her eyes speak for her. they slowly dragged from yours to the drop ship where the door was closed. 

“what's going on?” you shifted away from her slowly, eyes beginning to search the small crowd that filled around the drop ship, all equally uneasy. “where's bellamy?”

“murphy’s back.” 

you frowned deeply at the answer coming from a boy who stared at you anxiously, like saying those words would set you off. it only led you deeper into your confusion before you began to connect two and two together, your eyes immediately falling back in line with the metal machine.

“murphy, open up!” you had stormed closer, banging your fist against the usual large opening that was now closed, shielding away any activity that took place inside, most likely including harm towards your best friend. 

murphy smirked from the inside, looking to bellamy who froze, his eyes slowly glazing up the drop ship door. 

it was a bad idea.

bellamy almost begged for murphy to ignore your calls, shaking his head with hard eyes that said he would regret it if he made a move to open up that metal door.

“murphy, don’t.”

“murphy let me in!”

he smirked, his eyes going back and forth between the two of you before finalizing on bellamy, “you forget, bellamy,” he smirked, “i’m the one in charge here.”

murphy then lifted his walkie, “i’ll let her in, just make her drop her weapons.”

octavia abruptly glanced down at the walkie she had at hand, her stomach beginning to twist again as she looked back up to you. your eyes met and you dropped nothing despite holding a small knife in the back of your belt.

she nodded to you, hesitant, before speaking in the walkie talkie, “she's ready.” 

“no, murphy, don’t open that goddamn door,” bellamy’s look hardened, “she didn’t do anything, please.”

he smirked, “i like it when you beg, bellamy... makes me feel powerful.”

he slapped the button to open the drop ship door, not breaking his eye contact with bellamy who clenched his jaw, glaring.

“awh, princess, nice of you to join us, go sit down by your pal bellamy,” he held the gun loosely, pointing at you to the spot he wanted you at. it made you raise your hands quickly in response, almost flinching away from him even though he was no where close to you. it made him smile in response, “what, did your parents hit you as a kid? go sit down.”

you glanced to bellamy, who was trying not to break the blank expression on his face, trying to hide the fact that he cared so much. bellamy’s feelings and emotions could only get him in so much more trouble from here on out.

“now tie these up,” he tossed a bunch seatbelts towards bellamy after once again closing the drop ship door. “i want you to tie her up so she can watch you hang.”

you glanced up to the boy who looked down to you before looking to the seatbelts in his hands, gripping them tightly for a moment before looking back to you.

when you landed on earth, you were attracted to bellamy right away and the big brother atmosphere he gave off... and even though he already had a younger sister, he took you in like another. he was the fastest friend you had ever made—well the only one actually. he made stupid decisions but he did it all in thought for his own safety... for your safety.

you were his right hand man.

you stared up to the man with helpless eyes, you couldn’t give him anything and he almost winced back because of it. he almost had expected you to have a plan, but with marching in here without a gun and only going by the second, you couldn’t offer anything. and the knife hidden within your belt could only go so far. 

“i want you to hang, bellamy.”

“murphy, listen-“ you spoke fast in fear but were cut off fast.

“shut up,” murphy spoke quickly, practically lashing out and over into your direction, “i’m tired of you having your bitch talk for you, trying to get you out of shit that you're bound to end up in.”

fast into your friendship you caught up onto feelings that you didn’t see coming. you devoted yourself to him because of it, because you were practically in love with the boy—and blind. but it felt wrong... and you figured you wouldn’t do anything about the feelings, not wanting to risk anything. 

murphy sighed as he analyzed the two of you all paused from making any moves, staring right back at him in caution, “get tying before i shoot.”

you looked back up to bellamy right away, watching him begin to tie slowly before kneeling down before you. you almost shook your head frantically in disagreement, knowing if he tied you up it’d put you in a worser situation than you already were in. 

he gave you a pointed look in return, “trust me.”

you practically stared at him in disbelief but relentlessly gave up, slowly giving him your hands paired together. what could he possibly do now? 

“behind the back, bellamy,” murphy dumbfounded, “none of that bullshit.”

you could see a visible cringe as bellamy looked back up from the tying, clenching his jaw before moving behind you. he pulled your arms gently and began to tie once more with nervous hands.

murphy’s eyes connected with yours in the process and a sudden smirk came upon his face as if remembering something. you wouldn’t lie—it scared you the moment he tipped his jaw up and spoke, “let’s tell a story, one i think you’ll like, y/n. it’s about your friend bellamy.”

you could feel the boy freeze from behind you, looking up from his work, glaring with being unknowing to this story.

“not really a story just—i mean i don’t know enough so i think bellamy should tell it himself,” he finally met eyes with him, “how was fucking reyes?”

of course.

of fucking course he knew.

“i can’t remember if this was before or after you found out y/n likes you?” he tipped his head in an increase of confidence, “remind me, i’m foggy on all the details.”

you felt your chest tighten uncomfortably to the point you swore it’d explode—break—crack—cause you further pain, but it stayed in the same repetitive strain that made you choke.

“alright, that’s enough,” bellamy stood.

“woah, woah, since when did i say you could stand. sit back down blake,” he moved toward bellamy as well, challenging him while making it obvious that he still held that gun. “now fill our friend in, i’m sure she’d love to know.”

you gaze up to him, suppressing any emotion to overcome your face. you couldn’t even fess up what you even felt. bellamy looked down to you, a look of sympathy striking his features before looking back up to murphy, “this doesn’t need to happen.”

“it’s too late for that,” he nodded, sure of himself, his face going blank but his eyes filling with anger, “you know on second thought, i want you to hang now,” he nodded toward the noose that was already tied and hung perfectly with a stool underneath it.

“go on,” he nodded again and bellamy had no choice but to take a step onto the stool and place his head through the rope of seatbelts after a long period of hesitation and looking between you and murphy.

“murphy, please,” your eyes went wide at him, sporting an innocences that looked strange on you. “don’t do this.”

“why shouldn’t i?” he seemed to slant back, looking amused, “huh, y/n? i mean you seem to know bellamy so well, why don’t you enlighten me. why should i let your boyfriend live?”

you kept your mouth shut with finding no valid reason as to why murphy would let bellamy live. what he did was unforgivable and if you were in murphy’s position, you would have allowed your anger to get the best of you and…

“look, murphy, i understand that you’re feeling angry right now-“

“understand?” he scoffed, moving closer to you before bending down so his face was close to yours, “you don’t even remotely understand what i feel right now.”

he was so on edge and unstable that you could see it through his pupils. he wanted revenge—you’d have to be dumb to not realize it, but there was something else. he was spiraling, his mind was racing, and you could see his emotions leaking from little spaces on his face.

“this won’t help, murphy, believe me. having bellamy hang won’t help you feel any better.”

“i think it will,” he smiled blandly, “see, me and bellamy, we’re not the same,” he shook his head, looking off a little. “you may be able to convince bellamy of anything, but not me. you can’t get him out of this one.”

“you want to bet?” you finally untangled yourself from the tie around your wrists that you had been working in for the past couple of minutes, reaching forward and stabbing the knife from your belt in his shoulder.

it had to be luck or just amazing timing because the minute murphy shrunk back, grabbing his arm where the weapon stuck out, octavia came rushing in as did the rest of the camp, ready to put him down.

**

“i need to talk to you,” bellamy’s rough hand clasped your shoulder from where you sat on the drop ship table, waiting for clarke to come back. his touch made you tense up before slightly easing back into a slouch, looking up to the man who had a look on his face you were unfamiliar with.

“okay,” you look at him curiously, hoping off the surface of the table before moving with him toward the corner.

he seems hesitant, his eyes not meeting yours as he thinks of how to speak without overstepping on something, “i need you to understand that i would never hurt you,” he looks at you sadly, his eyes piercing yours, wanting you to listen and understand even if you shouldn’t. “i didn’t think and i will forever regret that, especially after today.”

you hated that you had to listen to his apology, mainly because you felt you hadn’t even had enough time to process it all.

“i take you for granted,” his lips pressed into a thin line and his hand reached for your forearm, grasping it lightly. “i care about you, a lot.” his stare is pointed and hard, almost as if forcing you to understand this, to accept this, “i’m sorry.”

“bellamy, you don’t-“

“you saved my ass today,” he cut you off, seeming to ignore you completely while changing his tone. “again.”

you stared at him with a lost expression and he finally looked at you, finally, with a look that’d you accept. he stared at you softly, smiling hopelessly, before leaning in toward you, pressing a kiss on your cheek, “i’ll forever be in debt to you.”

masterlist

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @myalupinblack @cc13723things @Uselesssapphickitten @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @itzstacie @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @dayanaralight @nyx3028 @hizziestial

time doesn’t stop.

pairings. bellamy blake x fem!reader

about. you attempt to make up with bellamy

warnings. foul language, gif not mine, set at s3e9/10

ricky rocks. missing bellamy hours

for a long time, a lot of people thought it’d always be you and bellamy. and for a long time, you believed it’d only always be you and bellamy.

it was only after mount weather did the pressure and realization of how hard a relationship really could be in living hell came to light; especially after a gunshot wound and many promises to keep one another alive.

you were fools to believe that dating was even a possibility beneath the pressures of trying to survive and play hero—that’s what you thought anyway.

you were ready to let go. ready to move on to callings of death that had been in your head the moment you had laid foot on earth. you had done many bad things that had ended you up in a cell block back at arkadia. some things that people believed were considerably valid for a punishment of death, which you were never really ready for up in that cell. but right then, right on earth and out of a cell, you were ready to die.

you had cursed yourself when you woke up days after, patched up, and relieved from the bullet a mount weather guard shot at you. you were alive, and all curtesy of abby griffin, an angel in disguise, as bellamy thought.

but that bullet changed so much, and created a great amount of damage that not even abby could relieve you from.

he moved on fast. or more of what you thought was fast.

you had left, leaving him angry and in desperate need of something with the amount of ties he still held to you. bellamy had never felt so much attachment to one person other than octavia. but with both of you gone, off with your curious minds in search for something that neither of you had found yet, leaving him alone, he had to find something to occupy himself with.

you just weren’t content with the idea of him kissing another girl.

but he didn’t know you anymore.

it wasn’t until you finally went back to arkadia to find several crazed chipped adults, including your own savior, abby, who rather seemed in need to kill you—did you come to realization that your time there and playing hero was not over.

“what the fuck was that?” you yelled into jasper’s ear as he drove the rover as fast as he could, away from the detrimental chaos that seemed to have erupted the moment you got there.

“hard to explain.”

“well find a way,” you looked down to raven and then to the back of the rover where camp was getting smaller and smaller till the only thing you could see was forestry. “i’m gone for-”

“yeah, that’s right, y/n, you were gone,” jasper finds his voice and yells back. “a lot happens around here if you hadn’t noticed.”

your disappearance hadn’t just affected bellamy, and you were now just beginning to realize it.

you could understand; jasper was holding a lot on his shoulders and the tension of you and then almost getting shot didn’t help the situation, “jasper, i’m sorry.”

“i’m not the sorry you owe it to.”

you frowned, immediately thinking of bellamy. you kept your mouth shut from there on out and let jasper guide his way toward a cave where the rest of your group was supposedly camped out at.

the moment you got there, you could tell everything was tense, even by the split second of seeing octavia walking away with bellamy on her tail before realizing the rover was there.

he squinted at you, before recognition kicked in and he realized exactly who he was looking at as you got out of the rover and moved quickly to open the back with jasper, helping him the best you could with hauling raven from her deadened position, “need your help! we have to get her inside before she wakes up!”

“were you followed?” bellamy trudged his way toward the two of you before taking raven into his own arms, clearly having a better chance of carrying her than the two of you combined.

“maybe, i don’t know.”

you stepped back, looking at bellamy’s face and the way he transfixed into taking lead so fast. his face was all beat up with fresh cuts and light bruises beginning to kiss his skin. it made you narrow your brows due to the last time seeing him, he wasn’t in this rough of shape.

he glanced to you one last time before walking to the cave, jasper following after him.

your head turned to octavia now, who you immediately reached out for as did she, “i have to leave.” her arms were wrapped around your neck, making it easy for you to hear the solum tone shoved deeply in her throat.

“don’t go now,” you shook your head in the hold you both had on each other. “you shouldn’t be alone, not with all that’s going on. not after lincoln.”

your words made the both of you cringe but they didn’t scare her off like you had half expected. she pulled away, nodding before walking into the cave with you.

“i told you on the radio, raven is not raven anymore. jaha has been chipping everyone,” jasper shifted nervously, keeping eyes on the frail girl while he tried his best to catch everyone up. “jaha is using the chips to control everyone. you swallow it, you forget who you are and you see this thing; alie. it made raven slit her own wrists.”

you watched raven carefully as jasper continued to speak on how he was trying to help her. you were losing your mind and couldn’t understand how your previous biggest problem—pike—just got blown out of the water and turned ten times worse.

“you say a chip, maybe it’s like the one clarke carries,” your eyes met jasper’s, “after lexa died clarke carried a chip that she gave to me for safe keeping,” you were quick to pull it out of your pocket. “this?”

jasper shrugs, “not exactly.”

and suddenly raven was on her feet and running, causing all of you to haul after her like a chain reaction. bellamy rung his arms around hers, attempting to restrain her as she looked around anxiously.

“if raven finds out where we are, so will alie and she’ll come for her,” jasper stabbed a reaper stick into her neck, causing her to drop from consciousness once more.

you all huffed and raven was once again hauled into bellamy’s arms. you frowned, suddenly getting an idea, “we have to leave,” your eyes were trained on raven.

“why, she doesn’t know where we are.”

“but i know how to fix this and where to find clarke.”

**

“you came back.”

you glanced up to bellamy who sat across from you. no one had said a word within the time you had all gotten within the rover to get to nyla’s location. not until now.

“why wouldn’t i?”

“you tell me,” his eyes were soft on you but the tone of his voice was condescending and hurtful—he wanted to hurt you.

and you understood why.

“‘time doesn’t stop,’” you looked to your hands as you mumbled the words before gaining enough courage to meet his hard, but eager eyes. “you remember when you first said that? ‘time doesn’t stop, not for me, not for you, not for anyone’… you’re good with your words.” an airy laugh came past your lips as you reminisced about bellamy when you all first landed and he gave a lot of leader speeches to the 100.

you couldn’t help but feel sadness seep in at all corners of your soul of how long ago that was and how your problems dealt with actual people and not a.i.’s.

“time doesn’t stop and i couldn’t handle that, bellamy. i wanted it to, but it just didn’t and i… gave up.”

“on us,” he clenched his jaw, hating how he felt sympathetic for you, hating how he wanted to hold you.

his mind thinks to the gun shot wound, and the blood that stained his hands as he kept pressure to your stomach, watching life fade from your eyes. he wasn’t scared of anything, but you dying proved that statement wrong.

“god, bellamy, i never wanted to.”

“i have a hard time believing that,” he frowned. you could tell he was trying to hide his emotions the best he could by the way he bit his tongue and was so overall tense. “you never looked back.”

“but i did,” you leaned forward, touching his face lightly to which made him slightly flinch, no longer used to the feeling. you almost pulled away but the touch with your finger tips turned to the palm of your hand, hovering over his fresh cuts. “i always did.”

“then you should have come back, should have said something.”

“i am back, i promise, bellamy. i’m back now.”

you could tell he didn’t trust those words even though he wanted so badly to lean into it—to put trust that you were really there and would stay there till the end of your days.

he leaned back, his eyes watching you gingerly, trying to decide on how to feel and what to say, but he just nodded, mumbling, “okay.”

you accepted that as good as mutual ground between you two could get. bellamy was a stubborn person at nature and it was hard to let people back in when they were traitors to his soul, but him defying his morals the best he could just for you was a sign of something positive.

especially when he reached for your hand, and held it tightly between the two of your bodies.

“now, are you going to tell me about your face?”

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spiraling.

pairings. bellamy blake x fem!reader

about. bellamy saves your ass, again.

warnings. foul language, murder

ricky rocks. follow me lol, i’m cool

“what’s wrong?” you were drawn away from your thoughts, glancing to raven. her hands tightly gripped the steering wheel of the rover while looking to you in a slightly anxious manner. “you haven’t spoken the whole ride.”

kane had gotten a call about twenty minutes ago about there being a breach and half the guard team was already gone. there was no one to cover the call except you. 

“i got this,” you were already slinging on your guard jacket before kane could say anything, he had never intended on you hearing the beep in but there you were with your eager eyes and ease dropping ears. 

he frowned, shaking his head, “no, it’s too dangerous out there.”

you looked at kane dumbfounded, your frown curving deeper into your cheeks making you look older and increasing the darkness within your features, “i can handle myself out there.”

he knew you could, he wasn’t worry about that. kane was more concerned about reasons he wasn’t about to speak aloud, especially to your face in fear of risking setting you off.

“you’re not going.”

“kane,” you gave him a pointed look, shoving your gun in the loop of your belt. you continued to defy him, causing his stomach to wrench up, he didn’t want to yell at you. “i can handle myself out there.”

“if you go,” he began to slowly cave from his original statement, leaning against the metal table separating the two of you, “i want someone out there with you.”

“bellamy isn’t here.”

bellamy was always your scout partner when either one of you were sent out of arkadia to scope out whatever needed to be scoped out. both of you would have been well enough without one another but it was always nice to have company, especially company like bellamy’s.

“you’re going with me, sweetheart,” raven appeared out of nowhere, patting your back as she begun to climb in the driver seat of the rover with a slight struggle due to her leg. 

you almost resisted the urge to clench your jaw too hard. you loved raven but you would have really preferred to take this trip alone, especially after what had happened last time; you were with miller, completely throwing you off due to him having a completely different style when it came to scouting arkadia outer grounds than bellamy. 

bad things happened.

“bellamy?” you had turned head rather fast, now holding eye contact with the hazel eyed girl, her nervousness had eased off as if coming to the conclusion to your quietness. 

“what?” “you'd rather be with bellamy, right?” “i’d rather be by myself,” you grumbled, sulking deeper into the passenger seat. you felt guilty for doing so, raven had nothing to do with your own problems but you really would rather be alone with how everyone had been treating you recently.

“too bad.”

once you had arrived upon the breach you had gotten out of the car rather fast with your hand clutching the hand gun looped with your belt tightly, making it hard for raven to keep up, seeing the determination within your steps.

“slow down, cowgirl,” she yelled after you, almost tripping multiple times as she tried to increase her pace. “there’s no rush.”

“this is ice nations sector, reyes,” you called back, “there is no time to slow down.”

you broke through a large section of trees and branches soon revealing a scene that took you by surprise. it made you raise your gun just as quick as you had gasped.. and soon raven ended up in the same position of surprisal.

before the two of you, bellamy and octavia were knocked out propped up against a tree tied together while a man who’s face was painted white pointed his staff toward you in threat. you kept your composure at the sight with your gun still held in height of his head.

“don’t shoot.”

“you’re not helping.”

“y/n, don’t. don’t do something dumb,” her voice rang through your ears and you suddenly felt hot and your head felt light with pressure spiking, making the rest of your body feel numb. “y/n?”

“reyes, go.”

“you’re about to do something you’re going to regret.”

“you’re about to do something you’re going to regret.”

your vision cleared and became leveled with a man from trikru. his smile was strange and split and made your head spin with uncomfortableness.

he had you surrounded. you and miller.

“you’re not going to shoot me.”

“try me,” you narrowed your brows as you looked between him and to the men next to him, as you were sure miller was doing the same but to the men he was facing. the two of you were back to back, guns raised high in defense.

“we don’t mean any harm,” miller’s voice butts in and he tries to reason as his voice calls to the man you were talking to. you clenched your jaw, miller was almost making you both look foolish. “just let us go.”

“oh i’ll let you go. it’s her that’s gotta stay.”

“i’ll shoot you.”

“those are some powerful words,” he shifts towards you and you’re quick to cock the gun. he flinches but smiles as he still makes small movements toward you till you just… shot him, setting off a chain reaction of the rest of the men launching toward you.

and bang, bang, bang—three more bodies dead on the ground with your simple aim and no hesitation.

miller only injured the other two with a look on his face that you wouldn’t forget. he looked at you with an almost petrified expression—one that read he couldn’t believe what you had just done.

“we need to go.”

“we need to go.”

you were being shaken lightly until your eyes pealed open fast, meeting the feeling of bellamy’s hand lightly holding your face with an urgent look on his own, looking all around before back to your face, “c’mon, get up, kid. we’ve got to go.”

he pulls you to your feet fast where raven and octavia are already hauling it to the rover and the man from ice nation laid on the ground, dead.

“please tell me that wasn’t me.”

“don’t worry,” bellamy gripped your arm while pushing you to go faster toward the rover. right before the man knocked octavia and him out, it wasn’t just him, there was at least two more. they must have gone scavenging, leaving that man to himself, which in hindsight wasn’t smart at all to leave one against two.

“you passed out,” raven looked back to you from her position in the drivers seat. “i think you’re under a lot of stress.”

no kidding.

you glanced to bellamy who was already looking to you and you half expected him to lecture you, like he always did, especially with the look on his face. he was always so adamant with keeping yourself stable, to take breaks, and make sure you were always alright—especially when situations got tough. but right now he didn’t, he kept his mouth shut.

you and bellamy were very similar. he knew it too and it scared him, because he didn’t want any of the things that ran through his mind, going through your own. you were both very self destructive and that wasn’t something he realized until mount weather—a point in time where he learned a lot about you.

“what’re we going to do?” octavia looked to raven who was still breathless, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

she could barely think straight without her mind straying to ten minutes before, “we go to kane, we tell him what happened and we continue on with our day. this isn’t the first time irrational decisions have gotten the best of us.”

she resisted looking at you, but she didn’t have to in order for you to know she was halfway referring to you.

you tipped your head back in despair, wishing you could redo the past month.

* *

“explain to me how a scouting mission ends up with someone dead,” you bit your tongue, already feeling a harsh lecture coming as kane stared at raven gingerly who was barely keeping her composure. she was very fiery whenever it came to discussions like this and defending her own, but the dead body must have thrown her off.

“listen, bellamy and octavia were both in danger-“

“doesn’t give us a right to kill ice nation’s people. our pact with them is barely hanging on by a thread.”

“we didn’t mean for this to happen, kane,” you spoke, defending raven from the rouse he was pressuring her with, but you instantly regretted it when he looks to you, like he hadn’t even noticed you yet.

“you killed four grounders, y/n. you understand that right? and now you go and kill someone apart of ice nation. do you understand what that does to us?” kane’s expression and words catch you off gaurd and causes your chest to tighten. he was never someone you expected to be so jarring. he had been giving you the benefit of the doubt for the past month, so seeing him snap so fast took you aback. “you’ve become unhinged. you don’t think straight anymore.”

“she didn’t kill him,” bellamy takes a step in front of you out of instinct.

“then who did?” he raises his voice, “because i’m looking between all four of you right now and only one of you is coming out as a valid option.”

“it was all three of us,” octavia speaks, “y/n, got knocked out before she could do anything. like you said, she hasn’t been thinking straight lately because she’s been under a lot of pressure.”

you could tell kane didn’t believe a word she said by the way he paused, clenching his jaw. it was looking like they were only trying to cover for you right now, and you couldn’t blame him.

“i can’t deal with this right now, we’ll talk about this later.”

* *

“he’s going to kick me from camp.”

you sat on bellamy’s bed as he begun to change from his disoriented attire from earlier that day. after abby had patched him up from the gash he had on the side of his head and made sure you were still doing alright, you both begun to talk about the past month, essentially leading back to kane.

you felt you hadn’t seen bellamy in forever, and it was practically true due to kane setting you both up with different guard partners and assigning you both to tasks at different times for the past five weeks. hence, how you got mixed up with miller in the first place.

it was almost as if it was purposeful…

“he’s not going to kick you from camp.”

“he has no reason not to.”

“y/n, why would he?”

“i killed people, bellamy,” you looked at him, dumbfounded. “for no reason.”

“for good reason,” he corrected you, now kneeling before you. “kane is under a lot of pressure right now, and what happened to you didn’t help. he’s worried about a lot of things, and he doesn’t want to worry about you.”

“he said i’m unhinged.”

“we all are,” he squeezed your knee, getting back to his feet. “you need to stop worrying. you did nothing wrong today.”

“what do you think he’s going to say later?” you questioned.

“stop worrying, princess,” he gave you a pointed look. “what’s the worse that can happen?”

* *

“i don’t want either of you to be partners, you’re both bad for each other. i’ve realized that now for the past two months,” kane folded his hands, delivering the worse news before you and bellamy. “y/n, i was in between full suspension and five week suspension from your position, it’s up to you.”

you looked a kane with narrowed brows, completely dumbfounded and not knowing what to say. you should have seen it coming, he had been preparing the two of you for this by scheduling you both different times and you felt like a fool for not realizing it till now.

“kane, that is irrational,” bellamy shook his head, “we’re both your best and you’re going to risk it over her messing up once. i can hardly see how we’re bad for each other, when we get things done better than any one else on the guard.”

“once is enough.”

you frowned hard, “the only reason i messed up was because i was with miller. because you scheduled me with him. bellamy is not the reason i shot trikru. miller just threw me off because i’m not used to the way he clears.”

kane shook his head, “you shouldn’t be like that. you’re a guard, y/n, you should be prepared for anything, not ‘thrown off’ just because miller runs a totally different route than you and bellamy.”

you couldn’t believe him, “you can’t be serious. kane, you have my answer, you can implement a full suspension.. or whatever,” you rolled your eyes, getting to your feet but bellamy’s quick to pull you back down in your seat.

“she gets a different partner or full suspension, you can expect the same thing from me,” he pressed his lips into a thin line knowing kane wouldn’t accept that. bellamy was the best they had, and without him, the ark would most likely fail.

“you can’t do that,” kane shakes his head, “bellamy.”

“then you fix this,” he still held your wrist as he spoke with a stern tone, “you suspend her five weeks, but you keep her as my partner, you schedule us same time like how it used to be. otherwise you lose the both of us.”

bellamy didn’t understand how kane didn’t realize that you were only under the right mindset when with him. you were irrational with unfamiliarity, its something about that, that freaked you out, but with bellamy, there was a level of control and focus that he could only bring.

kane looked hesitant, glancing between the two of you before focusing on bellamy, “you keep her tame then.”

a deal was made. you were kept partners with bellamy but you still couldn’t help but be angered by the way they spoke like you weren’t there. you were happy with the outcome and you were sure the only reason it happened was because bellamy did all the talking.

“you owe me.”

you rolled your eyes, “you did yourself a favor.”

bellamy scoffed, his eyebrow curving, “really?”

“you know you couldn’t survive a day without me on the job.”

“funny,” he shook his head, “because i was thinking the same thing about you.”

you smiled, but hesitated, “thank you. you saved my ass, again.”

“you’re good, you just owe me,” he winked, “now get ready for your shift.”

navigation.

death era.

part three of n/a.

ricky rocks. okay now the story is going to get moving.

“hey, hey, relax.”

the light shimmering of sun peaking through the forest trees flooded into athena’s eyesight like anguish. her head throbbed and all she could get out was a groan while her body rolled slightly around on the forest floor in attempt to bring her back to life and recreate feeling within her limbs.

her eyes squinted into slits as the feeling of sleep wore off into the ground and reality hit her harder than bellamy did. he didn’t kill her like he said he would, she was alive, and she could really feel it now. 

she struggled in her position, a feeling of paranoia striking her fast as she half expected bellamy would be right there to watch her become accustomed to the blow to her head and the large deep cut swelling in her right shoulder—she almost thought it was him who had pressure on the wound.

but she was mistaken, it was a girl. 

that’s all athena could make out as she tried her best to adjust her eyesight on the girl with the half-assed lift of her head.

“steady yourself there, blue,” a groan once again resonated from athena’s mouth as the girl moved back a bit, more sunlight flooding into her sight and more pain as the girl pressed harder onto her shoulder causing blood to leak out beneath her hands. 

“someone sliced you huh,” she tilted her head a bit, more or so mumbling to herself as she examined athena a little more, pursing her lips. “smacked you across the head too.”

athena only grunted in reply, her eyes rolling into the back of her head at the pain. the girl grabbed her forehead, tilting it back and forth and up and down, trying to see where the blood of the wound on her head resonated from. 

“i need to patch you up,” she huffs, “you're gonna need stitches on that shoulder of yours and i don’t even know what to do about the rest of you.”

the girl clicked her tongue, sitting back, letting go of athena’s shoulder hesitantly while she made a move to her pack, but she heard the click of a gun making her tightly close her eyes in regret. it was difficult to find good trusting people anymore, even ones that were injured, they always seemed to be the most hesitant. 

“who are you?” athena pushed past the urge to wince as she had increased the pain in her shoulder. the gun bellamy had used to knock her out had been left graciously a little ways up and past her head. 

“octavia,” she had her hands raised as she turned back around slowly, “my name is octavia and i just want to help you, okay?”

“no one just wants to help,” athena mumbled, just barely coughing her words out.

“listen, i don’t care what you think, but you need stitches, and the bullet in your leg pulled out.”

“what?-”

bam. 

being knocked upside the head twice in a day was not healthy, especially for someone in the condition athena was in. octavia wasn't sure how the girl had such a strong hold up still, she knew she’d probably be a mess if she had a cut deep in need of stitches and a bullet stuck in her thigh, but the thing was, athena was out of conscious, if she wanted to scream, she couldn't have. 

when athena woke up, she felt like she couldn’t move. she felt as if her thigh had tons of bricks inside of it, weighing her down to the forest floor. the realization that bellamy also shot her hit her hard; what was the point? to slow her down? to let her slowly bleed out and die? that being him feeling less guilty with the possibly that she’d survive?

athena felt like she was about to throw up, her eyes twitched in pain when her shoulder took over most of her thoughts, pain was the only thing bouncing around in that head of hers. 

octavia, the girl who knocked athena in the head, also the girl who had saved her from bleeding out, sat a couple feet away, rummaging through something. it made athena swallow when she just barely raised her head to peak. 

octavia was going through her pack. that alone would have set athena off but she couldn't do much from the position she was in, and this girl saved her after all.

“i’d really appreciate it if you didn’t mess with my things,” she gazed up at the darkening sky, her stomach rummaging around in anxiousness as well as pain, “it’s rude.”

octavia froze, but then relaxed when realizing the girl couldn't do anything, even if she tried. “just trying to figure out who you are,” she mumbled, flipping through a book, a journal, but it wasn't athenas, part of it wasn't anyways. 

“hate to break it to you, but i’m a nobody.”

“you must be a somebody if you can get ahold of an m4 carbine,” she mumbled again, before putting away the journal without much examination, sliding over to where athena began to get up. 

“how’d you get a military gun?”

“they’re not hard to steal.”

“yeah but they’re hard to find, they’re rare and fucking dangerous.”

“how do you know that?”

the pair of young girls stare into each other's eyes for a good moment, each studying one another. there's more than met the surface, and the both of them knew it.

“that journal, it keeps track of hits, but most of them aren't recent... that isn't yours, is it?” 

oh. so she did study it. 

“how do you know so much about the m4?”

“where did you get it?”

“at a base off the interstate.”

“which one.”

“i don’t remember.”

“okay,” octavia’s face laid blank but there was still a layer of skepticism that littered her brows as they were slightly pinched together. she knew. “can i ask why you were bleeding out when i found you?”

“some prick-” she slightly gasped as she adjusted her position, “decided to let me suffer instead of kill me like he promised.”

“why?”

athena cringed, slightly turning her head, “i wouldn’t give him what he wanted.”

octavia didn’t push on from there.

“when’s the last time you ate?”

"why do you want to help me so bad?"

"because human decency is hard to find and i know if i was in the exact position you're in, i'd want help."

oh.

athena didn't say anything in return because she couldn't agree. octavia, this girl before her, was a better person than she was. in todays world, it was everyone for themselves.

"now, when's the last time you ate?"

**

"why are you alone?" for the past hour athena were trying your best to ease into the presence of octavia and her strangely positive attitude. she were propped against a tree, sitting across from the girl as she seemed to of been tying pieces of grass to one another.

"i have people," she spoke, her tone a lot lower than it had been before. it was like instantly her mood had dropped and she was now dejected. "we got split up."

"so, you're alone now."

"but with reason."

"with reason?" athena arched a brow, examining her closely now.

"i'm looking for someone."

"the rest of your group?"

"no," she shook her head, "see, half our group was split in half, and i got split from them."

athena didn't press on. there was something about this topic that was obviously upsetting and the girl wasn't as up for talking about it as anything else. athena was also finding it difficult to talk to her in the first place, it seemed she was almost hiding something with how restricting she was with her words now.

"do you have people?"

stupid question.

"no."

"why not?"

athena had to be careful answering this. she had many reasons as to not trusting people, not to be in a collective group, but saying the wrong thing could place a bad atmosphere on the both of them, "most of the people around here are dead."

"and the live ones?"

"usually want to kill me... if you couldn't tell."

she lightly smiles, and silence settles over as the both of them thought. she wanted to say something, athena could tell, but she was hesitant, "my people aren't like that."

"what are they like?" athena shouldn't have been entertaining the idea, she knew that, she knew where octavia was going with that statement.

"you should find out."

athena shook her head, "you don't have to do that."

"do what?"

"offer me a position in your group. you've already done enough for me," she internally cringed at her sweet words, "if anything, i owe you."

"then help me find them," her voice sounds slight enlightened as an idea pops into her head.

"what?"

"help me find them, pay me back that way."

shit.

"octavia-"

"athena, you said it yourself, you owe me and what's holding you back from doing so?" she was now drawing closer to her, "listen, i stay with you for a week, help you heal, and when you can walk, you help me, deal?"

she's now right next to her, making it hard for her to look anywhere but at octavia. everything was screaming at her to not agree, to stick to her ground rules. but something overruled that power as she starred deeper into octavia’s eyes and saw something she hasn’t seen in a long time; hope.

"deal."

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death era.

part four of n/a.

ricky rocks. no bellamy fans out there 😐

two weeks.

athena was losing her mind and she had learned an awful lot about some girl she barely knew in the first place. she was crazy, that was her first thought because there was no way someone was as determined and positive as she was in the midst of an apocalypse.

days counted down, leading nearer and nearer to when she’d have to pay up. which was something that athena dreaded. ever since her hostile encounter with bellamy, she felt sick to her stomach at the thought of putting herself in the position of encountering more strangers.

the only thing that kept her stable? ironically was the same thing driving her insane; octavia.

even if the girl was quite strange, athena found comfort in her presence and she relieved her from the pain that was graced upon her body within the last three weeks. athena almost forgot about the weight of death that was constantly weighting on her everyday.

but now, since the bullet wound was on the edge of fully healing and the cut seared into her shoulder was beginning to fully scar over; she was on the move.

the woods seemed so abnormally cloudy than usual. cloudy and cold. athena could barely see three feet in front of her.

athena was on the top of her senses as she looked around the barely visible landscape; her lips pressed into a thin line, thinking over all the possibilities of dying right in that moment. there were a lot, all varying from tripping over a log and smashing your skull on a rock to unintentionally finding a walker. 

she glanced over to octavia who looked around in a less tense movement than her; her eyes closing with some form of content as she seemed to be consuming the cold air that seeped into her pores. she welcomed the unfamiliarity that surrounded them. it made athena uneasy and even a little bothered by the way she seemed so.. happy. 

“i have a feeling...”

“you said that half an hour ago,” athena gave her a pointed look, as if telling her whatever she was thinking, it wasn’t going to work out.

“have faith, little goddess,” her lips turned upwards into a small smile, eyebrows raising up as if returning her the rough look but with softer eyes.

athena ignored her, focusing back in front of the path she walked, careful not run into a hidden tree or trip over a log. walkers were the least of their worries at that moment.

“you sure this is where you came from?”

athena was leery that of octavia in this sense. they were wandering far from the road and in a maze of trees that you couldn’t tell apart from any other part of the woods. she didn’t understand how the girl found any of it familiar.

“just trust me, athena.”

“yeah, i’m having a hard time with that,” she mumbled to herself, stepping carefully over a thick fallen tree, not looking for really anything specific.

“just relax.”

“yeah, i’m also having a hard time with that as well.”

octavia resists to the action to roll her eyes too hard at her hard headed friend. the past two weeks had been frustrating on octavia’s end and her patience had been wearing so thin due athena’s untrusting and almost hostile nature.

it was obvious athena has problems revolving around communicating and the presence of a caring person, but it was understanding—you couldn’t trust people during this time. but with how much octavia had proved herself to be a good person—and athena was still so conflicting with her existence, it had become hard not to just drop everything and ditch her for the dead.

octavia wondered if athena was always like that, even in the before.

“you really think they’d wait-“

the sound of light cackling made athena stop her speaking, her eyes going everywhere at once. the sound was so startling for she hadn’t heard a laugh like that for awhile. her heart was throwing itself up in her throat as she clasped her gun tightly, senses turned up more than ever.

octavia had stopped walking as well, her eyes gliding across the white misty blanket in front of them carefully, almost hoping to see past it in hopes of matching the cackle with a form or face. but she wasn’t unnerved, she had almost heard a laugh like that every day of her life, especially after the apocalypse. 

the laugh rose through the air again, bouncing against the trees and ripping through the fog, reaching the two girls once again making octavia widen her eyes, her back straightening in realization. 

“murphy.”

“what—wait octavia, where are you going?”

athena’s eyes widen as she watched the girl take off into the blinding wall of white, her small form disappearing fast, making athena’s heart pick up and chest tighten, completely at a lost as to what had just happened before her eyes. 

“octavia!”

she knew she shouldn’t have yelled, she didn’t know why she did either because once octavia found her people, she would never have to deal with any living, conscious person ever again.

and if octavia wanted to run off into the fog, that’d make it faster and easier for athena to carry on.

but something had begun to eat away at athena’s mind the moment octavia took her fast step towards the unknown laugh. she owed it to not only the girl herself, but to octavia’s people to keep the girl alive and well, despite her being a pain in the ass.

it was hard to keep up with curiosity.

“‘tavia!”

athena’s word froze out into the open air as she breathed roughly, her stride increasing in speed and length as she continued to chase the girl through the milky woods. it begun to hurt, worse that ever. she felt as if the stitches in her shoulder would pop or the wound in her thigh would start bleeding with her feat hitting the unknown trek roughly and harshly. it was the all too quick, and hesitant movement that pained her. 

“oct-“

her body slammed into the back of another, almost knocking to the ground of crisp leaves.

“they’re here...” she whispered, her figure stable to the ground in such a calm manner as if she hadn’t taken off so fast and unexpected moments ago, “i can feel it.”

athena stared at octavia blatenly with her mouth opened wide in a dumbfounded manner, “are you fucking crazy?” she wanted to smack the girl on the back of the head, but didn't die to still being so shocked. 

“octavia?”

athena freezes, turning around quickly to see a figure emerging from the fog. a girl, with loose strands of brown hair flying everywhere from the ponytail she had in. she seemed to be out of breath like she had been sprinting just like the two of them, her chest heaving up and down drastically.

“octavia, oh my god,” she scoffs happily, rushing to the girl before wrapping her arms around her tightly, “we thought you were dead.”

athena stares silently, holding her gun awkwardly till her hears the mumble of words from octavia, i’m not thanks to her.

she shook her head, still not understanding what was happening, nor processing it as quick as the ditz before her. how did they just... find each other? athena looked away from the pair, her eyes immediately landing onto more figures that began to become more and more visible from the fog.

athena raises her gun rather fast out of caution when two figures slow out of their running stance, quickly raising their hands in caution as well as shock. 

“woah there kid,” a boy says quickly, eyeing her up and down, before landing flat on her gun, his eyes lighting up for a split moment.

“athena, it’s them,” octavia puts herself between athena and the boy, pushing the weapon away from them quickly, “my people.”

athena tilts her head back, as if steadily leaning her body away from the black haired girl unsurely, tightening her grip on the rifle. she wasn't too sure about this. too many people, too many unknown faces. 

“yeah, people, ever seen them before?” the boy raised his eyebrows, laying his hand on the barrel of the gun, pointing in downward, almost mocking her, “looks like you’ve lived in a hole for the past six years.”

“you don’t look any better pal,” the girl besides him mumbles, speaking for the first time as her eyes observed the landscape. she seemed unsettled and hesitant with where they were located, like there were something wrong—but not at all concerned as to who athena was.

athena kept her gaze on the dirty blonde haired girl, analyzing her carefully before the girl returns her own gaze. she seemed to hold a cautious stare when looking at athena and maybe it was because of the gun she was holding.

“i knew you’d wait up murphy,” octavia says, holding a proud smirk on her face as she looked up to the boy who had a couple inches on her.

“not like it was my choice,” he said, “can’t control mother nature.”

athena slightly winced at the sass in his voice and statement, implying he would’ve left if the fog hadn’t been holding them up, but octavia didn’t seem to be bothered for she wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tightly with a satisfied smile. 

murphy seemed to accept the embrace right away despite his seemingly negative behavior directed towards her.

it was sweet.

athena felt a sense of slight awkwardness as she stood, gripping her gun tightly. she hadn’t been around people for the longest time. octavia alone was hard enough to handle, she didn’t possibly know how to handle a whole group. so she returned her gaze back to the girl who stood next to murphy, who seemed to be continuing to analyze the layout of the forest, as if memorizing it, thinking of the best ways to find a way to guide through it.

“where’s bell?” octavia broke the silence, turning to the first girl who had shown through the fog, she only shrugged her shoulders, not really giving a concern to the person in mention.

“i don’t know, once i heard your voice, i took off,” she crossed her arms, seeming to set back into a mode of seriousness, but yet she didn’t seem so concerned. 

“i’m sure he’s close behind,” murphy mumbled, his expression now dull, lips pressed into a thin line, “if not, i’m sure it won’t be hard to find his large boot tracks.”

“so you guys just left him?”

“it’s not our fault he’s slow,” the other girl mumbled, her eyes now back on athena, analyzing her more. she realized she looked more annoyed than cautious. she looked smart, like she could be a tracker and her mind spoke more than her actual mouth.

“so you going to introduce your friend, or do we have to find out ourselves?” murphy sighed, looking back to athena who froze under mention.

“this is athena marrisen, found her in the woods on the look for bell,” octavia motioned to her, but athena didn’t move at all nor said anything.

everything was so off putting.

“so you go to look for your brother, but come back with a lost looking puppy who can barely hold her gun,” murphy looked athena up and down with a blank gaze, “great.”

“bellamy can handle himself, he found his way back to you guys, right?”

bellamy.

athena’s brows scrunched up as she looked up to octavia, but before she could say anything she heard the loud stomps of a heavy set of shoes. athena bit her lip, eyes on the ground as she begun to process things.

“bellamy, oh thank god.”

her eyes flew up to the man who emerged from the fog, dark curly locks, a red cut that begun to heal stretched across his cheek bone, his large built body making his way out of the blinding fog. her eyes widen, feet moving faster than her mind could process.

“you son of bitch,” she's quick to throw the large rifle to the ground, practically leaping towards the man, gripping his collar tightly, pressing the knife she pulled from her belt loop to his throat, “you fucking asshole.”

“you,” he finally processed who had him a knife point, his eyes widening before glaring quickly despite the layer of surprisal wrapping around his mind, “how the fuck are you alive?”

“really thought your bullet would kill me? i’m just trying to survive, remember?” she spits, pressing her knife harder against his throat.

“it wasn’t meant to kill you,” he spat back, “it was meant to make you suffer.”

“blue, let him go,” a sense of urgency in octavia’s voice filled athena’a ears as she grabs onto her shoulder lightly, not necessarily surprised bellamy had a knife to his throat, but confused as to why it was athena of all people. 

“you know her?” bellamy narrowed his brows, looking to octavia who was trying her best to pry athena off his neck.

“bellamy, you know her?”

“bellamy’s the one who put the bullet in my thigh.”

“yeah we got that already,” murphy was leaned against one of the trees barely surrounded in fog, completely unbothered and relaxed.

if bellamy’s throat was slit right in that moment—which there was a high percentage that’d happen—it wouldn’t bother murphy as much as the others. better bellamy than him. 

“raven,” bellamy’s eyes search for the girl who was leaned behind octavia, “get her off of me.”

the first girl to appear from the fog narrowed her brows, “wait, bellamy,” raven dumbfounds, inching closer to you, “this is the girl?”

“what girl?”

“bellamy said he may have had found the answers to all of our problems,” she smirks, leaning on the tips of her toes to see the side of athena’s face better.

it catches her off guard as she hesitantly looks as raven, her face slowly turning to meet the girls curious and smirky gaze. it was the wrong move to say less because right as she turned her cheek, bellamy had knocked athena to her ass.

a loud groan resonated past her lips as he now hovered over her with the knife now pressed into her throat, “maybe this time i won’t make the mistake-“

athena clocks him on the side of the head with her fist before he could finish his sentence, his stance becoming weaker but still hovered over her.

“bellamy, don’t kill her!”

but all of octavia’s yelling and pleading was only background noise as athena continue to bash away at the side of his head before finally brining her knee up between his legs, kneeing hard.

it causes him to groan loudly, curling into a ball by the side of her and it was like a routine now because she was now pointing the firearm he had in his belt loop at his temple, but it was like she forgot she was around his people, strangers. 

and athena of all people knew not to trust strangers.

the cautious girl, the girl who seemed smart; sent a blow to the side of her head, knocking athena out almost immediately. 

navigation.

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death era.

part five of n/a.

ricky rocks. hm.

“what do we do with her?”

it had been two hours since athena had been knocked out by echo for her to finally just begin to wake up from her position that was tied against a tree.

raven had them all huddled away from octavia who begun to comfort her with a flask full of water, a look of frustration on her face. it seemed once again raven was on damage control and she had no idea on how to clean this one up.

“she punched bellamy, that’s enough for me to agree to allow her to stay,” murphy mumbled from his sitting position against the log, looking back to athena who could barely keep her head up. “maybe she’ll keep him off his pedestal.” “murphy, you’re not helping,” raven rolled her eyes, now looking over to bellamy who was leaned against a tree, sharpening his knife, not seeming to care at the discussion that was taking place. “what do we do bellamy?”

he only shrugs.

“why is she here then, bellamy?” she extends her arm out, suppressing annoyance, “what’s so special about her that you had to shoot her?”

his eyes flicked up to raven’s fast like she had struck a nerve before looking back down to the piece of stick, “you’ll see.”

“that’s not an answer.”

“she is.”

raven’s brows narrowed at his answer, slightly shaking her head in frustration as well as annoyance to the trap mouth he suddenly had, “unbelievable.”

raven didn’t have time for this, none of them did. they had been traveling for over a week, getting no where, without bellamy due to his spontaneous idea to pursue something.

something being her to their realization. screw bellamy for being so vague, even in times of need.

“do you trust her?” echo questioned, her eyebrows quirked while folding her arms with an earnest look on her face that bellamy knew not to push or ignore.

“no,” bellamy breathes out, pursing his lips, “but i trust her anger and she’s got a lot of it.”

it made raven narrow her brows harder as she looked at the girl, studying her a little more then she had before.

athena hadn’t seemed like an angry person to her. more or so paranoid and cautious, like she was waiting for someone to ambush her. but sure, she must have had a lot of anger built up with the punch she gave bellamy, it just didn’t seem like she lived in it.

raven decided to agree, her face raising up, a sigh passing past her lips, knowing this would be the best answer they’d get, “alright.” bellamy had been stalking the girl for weeks before laying next to her and practically cracking her skull open.

there was no use arguing, she could leave that to octavia who seemed to always have a firey passion to put her brother in his place, wrong or right.

“once we hit terminus, we can split from her,” he mumbled, his eyes gliding across the makeshift campground they had set up, slightly leaning away from the tree as he was ready to put the conversation to it’s end, “i have a feeling there’s something there for her that she’s not talking about, we get what we want and she gets what she wants.”

“and what more exactly do we want… besides our people?”

“something that’s not this,” there’s a curve in his lips now making eye contact with all three of them, nodding. “i’m done moving around, i’m ready to settle.”

it made raven smile softly at the change in octive his voice became. he seemed more enthusiastic at the thought of a settled future, one he wouldn’t have to put much thought into, because his life would already be planned out for him. it was a strange tone for bellamy, but none of them minded it.

“well, what’s our next step?” murphy looked between them all, not exactly satisfied with the conversation. “how are we going to get her to cooperate when bimbo over here hasn’t exactly been the most gracious to her.”

“that’s where octavia comes in,” they all look the girl who was squatting in front of athena, offering her water.

“i didn’t realize my brother was the one who did this to you.”

“nor did i,” athena was extremely lax for what had just happened to her and it left octavia anxious. she half expected the girl to be squirming against her tied position against the tree, but she didn’t move an inch. “guess i should have expected it.”

“why?”

“you both had the same damn back stories and i didn’t realize that until now,” she looks at octavia, eating up her features. “not to mention, you look inexplicably alike.”

she wants to smile, but it feels inappropriate. she took pride in looking like her brother up until now.

“you’re not mad?” octavia’s brow reaches high in concern, “i mean not mad—what’s going through your mind?”

athena hesitates, her eyes going from octavia to the group of people that were conversating far in front of them, “i think your people are going to kill me in my sleep.”

she can’t tell if she’s joking or not.

bellamy suddenly approaches, now beginning to untie athena from the tree with no words. octavia watches him carefully from the position she’s squatted in, looking between athena, who held the same skeptic look, then back to him. once he had the ropes unbounded from her, he pulls athena to her feet.

“bell, what’re you doing?”

“making a plan,” he now grips the back of the light leather brown coat she wore, forcefully guiding athena to the dying campfire where he further makes her sit.

“maybe be a little nicer…”

bellamy sits on the stump in front of her while the rest of the group gathered around, analyzing her better. she narrowed her brows, looking between each of them. yes, they would definitely kill her in her sleep.

“i need you to be cooperative,” his hands clasp in front of him and she’s almost unfamiliar with this persona of bellamy; hard but expressionless. “you’re taking us all to terminus, no bullshit. i’m not going to hurt you, i think we’re both over that, but you will take us there.”

she had a similar hard look on her face as she still looked between each of them, studying their faces hard, trying to find what the motive was in their eyes or if there was any. her chest felt an intense feeling of compression at their looks because they were almost unreadable.

she finally looked back to bellamy who was waiting for her to say something. his head is slightly tipped, watching her carefully, observing every detail that was written on her face. he fixates on the scratches and cuts that are pierced high on her skin—wondering if that was from him or if it was just the given scrapes from the wilderness.

shs doesn’t say anything.

“you sure she speaks?”

“i’m sure,” bellamy nods before getting to his feet, “she just needs a little motivation.”

“bellamy, what are you doing?” octavia gets to her feet too, but doesn’t move to follow him. they all watch him, especially athena; her stare is diligent and she tries hard not to allow a streak of emotion to cross her face—no matter how confused she was.

bellamy made his way over to where athena was previously tied up, reaching down to grab her pack. that’s when athena was fast to get to her feet, pushing against murphy and echo as they tried to hold her back from hounding his ass.

“bell, this isn’t necessary,” octavia shifts on her feet as she watches him slowly make his way over toward the fire, extending the bag over the fire.

“don’t.”

“oh, so she does speak,” murphy’s snide tone curls into her ear and she resists the urge to elbow him in the gut.

“we gonna make this harder than it needs to be?”

“we? bellamy this is only you,” athena’s eyes narrow down on him and she feels both his comrades grips loosen on her. “you shoot me, cut me, and now threaten to burn my belongings,” her look is nasty and she can feel the compression explode into anger at the thought of everything he had done to her.

“you want me to take you? fine i’ll take you, but you owe me, big time and don’t be mad when whatever you’re looking for, isn’t there.”

his mouth curves into a smirk, watching the way her eyes mount to his in such a resilient way, “deal.”

navigation.

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death era.

part six of n/a.

ricky rocks. i’m running out of death era drafts 😔😔

good people. they were good people, something athena was surprised by. they were helpful and cared for one another despite the constant bickering and insults that filled the air. even to athena, they were attentive and made sure she was doing fine with simple offers of water, asking her if her weapon was loaded, whether she needed a break—and it wasn’t just octavia.

it was as if athena was a fragile package, but she didn’t understand why. no one had ever been so kind to her before and it was almost repulsing.

they’re just using you.

“how did you hear about terminus?”

athena glanced to raven who fell into step with her. her voice was curious and light, but athena still found the question interrogating, like raven wasn’t trusting of her, like none of them were.

“how did you?”

raven raised a brow, a light smirk nerving her face, “that’s defensive of you, isn’t it little goddess?”

“forgive me,” she mumbles, swiping her bottom lip with the knuckle of her thumb. “i’m not used to people questioning just to question. there’s always a deeper reasoning behind it.”

raven laughs, “i’d get used to the unreasonable questioning. you’re like fresh meat, you know? we’ve been with each other for god knows how long; know everything about one another to point it’s sickening to look at each other’s faces,” she smiles again, but it drops once she sees athena’s face doesn’t shift at all. “you’re a new book to people who have been reading the same thing over and over. i promise, not every question is interrogation.”

there’s something about ravens words that fill her with slight ease. her voice is reassuring and filled with intentions of comfort, “so, can i ask you how you found out about terminus?”

athena thinks, wondering truly when the first time she heard about that place. word got around a lot—surprisingly—especially when jumping from place to place. even though athena didn’t trust people, she met a lot of them, nice ones. they were rare, but they came up every once and awhile offering advice and warnings when she wouldn’t stay with them.

she heard a lot about terminus in those offers of words. good and bad. she had spent over a year dancing around the idea of it, but something in her gut prevented her from going anywhere near.

“a woman who i used to come across every now and then. used to always be in the same area i was. sometimes we’d talk; she’d bring terminus up, said she always wanted to go but never did, and then she’d stop showing up…” her voice goes low slowly, almost suspicious of the last part as she thinks of the days without that woman who was her first and practically only friend of the apocalypse.

“you think she went?”

“no,” athena shook her head, “she was like me, didn’t go too far, always coming back to the place you know best. she was paranoid and the unknown is dangerous, hope can be dangerous.”

“how come you never moved too far?”

“no where to go,” athena mumbles.

“well, athena, i’m glad we found you because your life sounded down right near depressing,” murphy’s voice cuts in, making the two of them glance behind them. he strolls by himself at a lazy pace, watching his feet kick up dirt and rocks between the rotting tracks of wood.

“you’re so nice murphy,” raven answers for her, facing forward once more.

“just a thought.”

“your snide comments don’t help anybody, murphy,” bellamy’s low voice catches them all off guard. he hadn’t said a word since that morning and it was only short and gruff like always. “come to think of it, nothing you do helps.”

“looks like we’re one in the same, because neither do yours.”

it ends at that. when a pair butt heads, it’s always murphy and bellamy, but it ends fast even as a little tension still looms after. they couldn’t have been friends from before, athena just knows it. they’re always bickering, always keeping everyone on their toes with their useless disagreements.

it had only been two days, but it already felt like she had known them for eternity.

**

“so you were a military brat, huh?”

athena looked up, staring at murphy with narrowed eyebrows as he chewed away at the last piece of rabbit meat on a small bone he had in his fingers, “how’d you know?”

he almost naturally grinned, but it turned into a smug smirk, throwing the now bare bone behind him, “by the way you hold yourself and that gun you carry. fucking expensive. my dad had one.”

she looks to the rifle that was snug by her side before looking back up to him, “you were a military kid too?” her face was pinched up in slight confusion, staring at murphy with a gaze that almost said i don't believe you.

“yeah, that’s how i met your pal bellamy,” he emphasized bellamy’s name, while motioning to bellamy who sat a little further from the campfire, keeping guard, his gaze switching between the forest floor then into the beyond of the memorizing darkness, “we had a club.”

“no we didn't,” bellamy was quick to say, glancing back at the group, his eyes lingering on athena for a split second with her already staring back before looking to murphy with a short glare. “murphy didn’t have friends.”

“oh shut up,” he waves him off, “anyways, kind of surprised you didn't know that about bellamy.”

“why?”

“’cause you’re hardcore, i’m sure you have eyes for our kind of people.”

she stares at the fire with pursed lips before looking up at murphy, then looking away before looking back up at him, eyes up, down, up. her anxiety getting the best of her in that moment and she knew why.

“i stopped looking for other military people a long time ago,” she mumbled, “i stopped looking for people in general... a long time ago.”

“you gave up.”

“oh shut up murphy, you’d be in the same position just like she’s in if you didn’t have us,” raven gave him a knowing look, continuing to scrape and carve away at the piece of wood she had in hand, “we all would.”

but what’s so bad about the position she’s in?

it’s silent for the longest that it makes athena think they’re all complete strangers to each other just as she is to them.

but the silence isn’t presented as awkward, it’s calming with the crackling of fire as a background noise, something that athena could fall asleep to, but the stupid rave of anxiety was still serging through her veins as she thought of him.

him being the reason she had any remote military knowledge and that stupid, stupid gun.

she looks up further on only to meet bellamy’s eyes again, still closely speculated on her. she looks away, focusing on the fire once more, a sudden strange fulfillment entering into her chest, something that took over the feeling of her anxiousness, the warming feeling of finally not being alone for the first time in a long time.

it felt so right, yet so wrong.

she didn’t find herself being a people person. she wasn’t good with starting conversation nor showing any interest when a person spoke. that’s why when the sun set and the fire died out, athena found it real difficult to react when octavia begun to claw in deep to her emotions and pull out the memories from before.

“there was a huge lockdown,” octavia mumbled, her eyes still settled on the dark sky while athena stared at the side of her face, “i got shoved into a room with murphy and some other kids we’ve lost along the way and i swear those were some of the longest hours of my life.”

they both sat side by side, keeping watch, as the rest of the group slept. octavia’s voice became quiet as there was something that came over her usual optimism. she randomly begun to speak with her voice dunked in a low, dark tone, making athena question if this was the same girl.

she wasn’t prepared for this. athena hadn’t said a word to the warm body next to her, and she still didn’t—she only allowed her to speak.

octavia seemed out of breath, like she had just been punched in the gut causing her to be winded. athena could tell it hurt her, the beginning, it was always painful—for everyone. to only think about the time it had all gone wrong; the beginning of the end. wondering… if you could have ever done something to prevent it all from happening.

but the answer was always no.

“just sitting there in complete silence,” she paused, inhaling deeply with a slight shake, “until it begun; the take over. we were in the green room, it was one of the only low security rooms that people forgot about, mostly because it was used for storage and laid at the edge of the base, but it still didn’t stop them from finding us.”

octavia went on to explain how a scavenging group had broke into the military base, rounding up all those of the living that they could find, shoving them into a 30 feet deep pit where the military base had burned the dead after the virus took over. 

“they pushed people in and if you died, you were left to be a walker, but if you survived, you were left to be eaten by one because there was no way in hell you’d survive that fall then get back up fast enough to run and defend,” she shook her head, still not looking at athena’s gaze. 

but athena didn't have to see octavia’s full face for her to be able to tell how much anger and sadness and fear filled those eyes of hers. 

“they killed my people, athena,” she finally looks at her, her eyes bright with importance, “that’s why i can’t let you hurt my brother even if he deserves it. he’s the reason i wasn’t in that pit. he’s the reason i’m still breathing, and i am forever in debt to him just for that.” 

bellamy was one of the oldest left. all the adults were killed off the minute the scavenging group had found the rec room—and there wasn’t much to begin with due to the virus killing anything it could get it’s hands on.

bellamy played it smart—well not totally due the fact he wasn’t even at base when the raid took place but rather collecting fire wood—or in other words, playing hooky with a girl who was also long gone and dead.

that was one of the first times bellamy had felt real fear. watching people fall to their deaths one by one without a fight and seeing his sister next in line. it balled up in his chest causing immense pain that turned into anger. he hated it—that feeling. he wanted to tear at his chest until it would stop but the only thing he could do was act.

bellamy thinks that’s the first time he met raven. she was the real reason it all went well. she had spotted him from his hiding spot by a building holding a rifle tightly and anxiously looking for an opening. and she gave him one.

she had kicked a scavenger into the pit, grabbing his gun before anyone else could get it, aiming quickly to the five other scavs who held weapons with wide eyes. it was made obvious they were new to this by the way they didn’t just shoot her on the spot—but instead, listened to murphy.

“i wouldn’t shoot her, man,” he shook his head, “she could shoot three of you before any one of you could get a simple bullet out of your gun.”

a lie. but they didn’t need to know that.

“shut up, boy.”

“i’m just saying,” murphy shrugged, keeping his eyes straight forward, watching the rest of the scavs burn down buildings in the distance. “anyone here can tell you she was at the top of class before the apocalypse, could hit a target from thirty feet away and she kills walkers like no fuckin’ tomorrow.”

another lie, raven hated killing walkers more than anything.

but it still faltered their confidence as they uneasily eyed raven who clutched the rifle close with her finger over the trigger, afraid to push it, even though she wanted to. taking a human life was far different from hitting a target—even if they deserved it.

lucky for her, bellamy had impeccable aim—hitting down two men—and he had no problem killing. he swung the butt of his gun on another causing raven to unfreeze and shoot the other in the leg. the last scav was shoved into the pit where the other four soon followed.

“you’re lucky for that,” athena’s voice was barely above a whisper as she thought about it harder, imagining bellamy taking that risk and having the bravery and suddenly admiring him a lot more than she wanted to. “a lot of people are selfish. they don’t give a second thought to another person who breathes the same air they do. a lot of people would have left you to die.”

her. she was selfish. she would have left. she did leave.

octavia’s eyes are soft and they almost twinkle like stars with the soft smile that comes on her face, “that’s because the only reason a lot of people are living now, is so others don’t. a lot of people are selfish and want the world to themselves.”

and what makes bellamy different from any of those people?

the only thing that kept bellamy from falling into that group of people was octavia, but even then she wasn’t that good of a defense—because he kept octavia alive for himself. she made him think he wasn’t a bad guy, that everything remotely wrong that he did was for her safety.

“you forgot the best part,” murphy’s voice sounded out of no where causing the both of them to look behind where he was sat up, grinning. “right after those scavs got pushed into the pit, echo slammed the butt of her gun into bellamy’s head.”

athena glanced to bellamy, now positioned to face the group. the boy didn’t look one bit amused like murphy and the rest of them did. that’s what made it funnier.

“hey, i was just trying to survive,” echo hummed with a slight curve in her lips, mocking bellamy’s words that he says so often.

“echo decided that she’d play it safe and act like the enemy, which in hindsight caused a lot more trouble than it should have.”

“oh, please, murphy, you all wouldn’t have made it through the front gate without me."

"I'd like to think in retrospect that everything could have gone perfectly fine even if she didn't hit me in the first place."

"probably," she smirked at bellamy, to which he rolled his eyes. "but face it, me acting like a scav did more help than harm for your pretty little head. i got us all out of there."

octavia had been cradling bellamy's head in her lap as the rest of the surviving group from the pit was rounded up in one of the many rec rooms on the base. two of the scavengers were left to keep watch over them all, one of them being echo.

echo paced back and forth, eyeing each of them, trying her best to keep her composure and allow anxiety not to break her down like the current cold sweat she was going through was attempting to do. she didn't have a plan, that was her problem. masking up and keeping her posture straight and full of conviction was as far as it went—and so far, it was just barely working.

murphy eyed echo from where he sat. the facade she was trying to keep up wasn't working for her in his eyes, and he didn't know whether or not to pose her as a threat. even though she kept a bandana tied around half her face, he could still recognize those hard, piercing eyes from anywhere. essentially due to the fact that they had been combat partners in defense class for the past five months and each morning he had to see her cold face.

"hey, echo, since when did sarg clear you to carry a gun."

she cringed at his voice. echo should have known it'd be him to blow her cover and that there'd be no way to play this off, especially when the other scavenger left to keep guard was eyeing her—leaving her no choice.

she pulled the handgun from her back pocket before shooting the man without another thought. she pulled the front of her mask down, now looking to murphy with an annoyed glare, "way to go, john."

he grinned, now getting to his feet, "didn't think you'd be the one to hold a gun first out of the two of us."

"you're a fool if you didn't," she handed him the handgun with a tight look on her face. john murphy would have been the last person she would have trusted with a gun, but it looked like her options were getting slim.

"what's the plan?"

"i don't know, you kind of blew mine out of the water when exposing my identity."

"that's the most i have ever seen you guys get along," raven speaks her thoughts aloud, looking between the two.

"yeah, well, things change. and i didn't think john murphy would have gone from my combat partner to my bunk mate."

"i'm offended."

"that's when we were all still together."

it suddenly gets silent and the previous humored filled air was replaced with a solum atmosphere as they all begun to think about the beginning and what once was a ten person group, is now five.

"that's why we're here, to get back what we lost."

lexa, monty, jasper, clarke, miller.

the names repeat over and over in each of their heads as the silence becomes permanent and finally, they sleep but with the same grievances as every day since separation.

navigation.

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @cc13723things @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @ritz-hell-hotel @fruitiseavey @kayalect @strnqer @mystic-writings @moonlighy @straightzoinked @thelaststraw3 @alexxavicry @esposadomd @lupinsluvbot

death era.

part seven of n/a.

ricky rocks. no thoughts

one day. one day left till they’d be at terminus. athena feels her whole body itching at the matter that what was once an idea, a nightmare, something that was breathing down her neck as she tore each and every individual map down—is now a reality.

she’s ahead of the pack today. they leave her to herself, let her do her own thing as if she has now earned the privilege of privacy after these few days.

she digs her feet into the rotting wood of the train tracks with each step, thinking of how she even got to this point. this was the first time she could really hear her thoughts, therefore the first time she could really look over the reality of everything.

she was shot. and now she’s civil with the man who shot her.

it all happened so fast.

“wait.”

bellamy’s call caused her to stop in her tracks and finally look up upon what stood in front of her, clear as day; a tall bricked bridge, looming over the railway.

“fuck,” she swears under her breath at the obstacle in sight. this was not on any of the maps.

“well, what now?” murphy sighs, speaking the real question at hand.

it’s silent as they all think of the burdening reality, “we could go around,” raven rubs the side of her face as she stares at the eyesore looming in their path and hears the unmistakable sounds of walkers coming from within. “there’s no telling how many are in there. better safe than sorry.”

“going around will only make our trip twice as long. we can’t risk going off of estimated time that our group is on,” bellamy shuts the idea down, clenching his jaw to the interference.

“bellamy, that’s insane,” murphy shakes his head, extending his arm out to the brick. “we don’t know how many are in there, in fact we don’t know how long that tunnel goes. we could get stuck.”

“we’ve dealt with worse.”

they all feel frustration to his reluctance at the risk. there was no understanding to why he was so persistent on this; bellamy was always so cautious and always so careful, so why now was he letting his guard down?

he was getting anxious.

“athena?”

“yeah?”

“what do you think?”

she bites the inside of her cheek, what she thinks, they’re not going to like. she still fixates on the wall and the more her silence coats the air, the more her answer becomes clear. through the tunnel.

“it’s too risky,” raven is quick to interject as if stopping athena’s irrational thinking. “it’s clear as day what’s in there.”

“but if you want to get where you’re going; on time, and ahead of the game; the tunnel,” athena clutches her gun tightly before turning to finally face them. “walkers are easy to clear, if there’s anything worse than that, it’ll still take less time than walking around.”

“ahead of the game?” echo arches her brow, facing the girl better. “what do you mean?”

“terminus will know we’re coming if your friends are already there. they’ll be on guard and waiting,” she’s shifting, unsure how they’ll take her skepticism. “if they are… what i hear they are, we’ll want to be ahead of the game.”

“and what exactly are they?” murphy frowns hard, hating that she’s now just voicing her thoughts of doubt to this sanctuary.

“something i’ve been trying to stay away from.”

he stares at her before shaking his head at the vagueness, “you both are dumbasses,” murphy turns to the group as a whole. “i’ll take the time, you’re not dragging me through the damn thing.”

“i think murphy’s fear of the dark is coming to haunt him.”

“shut up,” murphy rolls his eyes, “you want to go through that, echo?”

“nope.”

“so, i guess it’s settled,” raven looks to them all. “we’ll go around. unless you two still care to travel through.”

athena unintentionally looks to bellamy who already stares back. they say nothing.

“neither of you are disagreeing,” octavia looks between the two of them, almost sounding confused. “why?”

“o, it’s not the worst idea,” bellamy’s hand clasps her shoulder, giving her the big brother sympathy smile. “what’s the worst that can happen?”

she looks at him tightened features of frustration. she hates how stubborn he is, especially in situations like these where there is no time to waste, “this better not be for her.”

her. that seems to pull on something in his mind which makes his softness falter, “i’m going. if any of you want to come, you can. otherwise go around and we’ll meet at the end or terminus.”

there’s a visible grumble between each of them.

“you too then?”

athena looks surprised when they look to her. she presses her lips into a thin line, trying the best she can to look sympathetic—failing, “we’ve gotta start this departing process sooner or later.”

octavia scoffs, but it’s sad, “yeah, i guess so.”

“god,” echo is the first one to move, marching straight to athena. her eyes rack her up and down as she advances to the her with unintelligent intentions.

she almost flinches when echo reaches her hand out with a gun as an offering, “i trust you more than him to give me back this gun. don’t be any more foolish than you have been deciding to go in there.”

they stare at each other, unblinkingly. this is an act of civility. this is an act of respect. athena takes the gun, nodding in appreciation.

“may we meet again, young goddess.”

**

“the first time i’ve seen you to be in such a rush like this was when you shot me.”

“sometimes, you just can’t waste time,” he doesn’t even try to seem sympathetic toward his very extreme and recent mistake.

athena stays silent and her mind goes back to moments before, when they all parted ways and she could hear octavia whisper in his ear—mentioning someone, mentioning the her that could be making him so restless.

“who’s clark?”

he seems to choke at the question at hand.

athena wouldn’t care. she doesn’t. she wasn’t even sure why she was attempting to make conversation—but it made this trip in the dark easier.

“what?”

“listen, i don’t particularly care for your personal life, bellamy… but i want to know. all this for a girl?”

“all this for family,” he corrects her fast. “not just for a girl.”

she scoffs, “right.”

“why do you care?” his tone is more sour than predicted, because he’s offended now; offended for her prying on something that didn’t concern her.

“i don’t.”

“you do,” he smiles in annoyance but she can’t see due to him following from behind. “you just can’t believe that other people want to actually be with other people. be honest, you can’t stand the matter of trust and compatibility because of whatever issues you dragged in from before the fall.”

she clenches her jaw tightly at his words, pushing her teeth together in order not to retaliate. it takes everything in her to keep walking in a line and not turn to sock him in the face.

he didn’t know her. he didn’t know what she went through to get to this point. he doesn’t understand what it’s like to be her. she kept wrapping those words around her mind, over and over, trying to justify whatever it was that she was feeling. trying to not fall guilty to his words for being so untrusting.

he realizes his foul words once five seconds of silence settles in and she continues to keep her mouth zipper shut. he almost regrets it.

athena now begins to question why she decided to travel with him alone. she was hoping to be alone with her thoughts, that the level of trust they had in her would allow her to go by herself in this dark and cold, cold tunnel.

trust.

bellamy must have had the same idea. but there they go, once again, intruding in on one another.

athena kicks her feet into the train tracks as she walks with her flashlight lighting up the ground and the rusty old rails left from previous society. she keeps her eyes on the ground, swallowing the irritation of the truth tightening around her lungs.

“woah,” she feels a sudden pull on her shoulder to stop walking and suddenly, clear as day, she can hear all the walkers even more clearly, in need for hunger. “pay attention.”

her eyes raise to realization of the cement pile right in front of them that must have collapsed from the ceiling above. she shines her flash light around, getting a clear speculation of the environment and the possible dangers.

bellamy’s hand still clutches her shoulder as he does the same before pushing her behind him. she watches him with curiosity once he pulls out a knife from his belt, walking to the side of the debris, where open space laid, “follow me, carefully.”

she did without thought, pulling out her own blade in pursuit. the dead are buried deep in the pyramid of collapsed remains, making their limbs inaccessible, but their mouths still equally at advantage. it’s no problem to bellamy. he stabs them straight through the skull like light work, athena only follows.

the cut path through the rubble is eventually stopped short, causing them to climb up the uneven and rocky path. the real problem is then displayed from above.

“shit,” she drops her hands in a distraught feeling.

there had to have been more than twenty walkers roaming at their feet, taking notice fast to their presence due to the light bellamy shown on each of them.

“we don’t have enough amo for this.”

he looks back at her and she can already see the mock in his eyes, “well, good thing clearing walkers is easy.”

she returns the look with a narrowing one, “after you then.”

he smirks at her, looking like the cocky son of a bitch she first met, “thought you’d never ask.”

she smiles back with annoyance as he pulls out his gun and nods. he begins to take shots from above before ascending down the rubble, hitting each walker in the head. athena does the same but doesn’t move from her high end position.

this was the first time she had seen him put in real work. there was always sight of walkers on their trek, but there was never a sweat with the six of them. but now, bellamy was resilient and crazy efficient considering the clear amount of dead outnumbering to him.

“you gonna stay up there all day or are you going to help me?”

“i’m doing more work than you,” the next bullet she shoots goes close to bellamy’s head, hitting a walker in the throat that was close to grabbing him. he connects eyes with her before stabbing it in head.

she changes the clip once she begins to shoot blanks, taking a single step forward in doing so—but the ground beneath her feet becomes uneven and suddenly gives at her weight, sending her down the crumbled cement and against a wall.

she swears, crying out in pain at the sudden realization of the large amount of debris trapping her foot to the ground. she tries to yanks at her limb, trying to pull it from the stuck position, but she only realizes it’s permanent.

“fuck!”

“athena?” she can’t see bellamy, but she can hear him and the confusion riddled within his voice. “athena, what happened?”

she grunts at the discomfort, trying to situate around the remains pinning her to the floor, “fuck, i’m stuck.”

she can hear him and the way he shifts around and back up the hill of breakage, before finding her in the position that she was in. he looks at her, almost like he’s disappointed, “oh jesus, athena.”

she lets out a laugh that came from her throat, one that wasn’t intentional and didn’t really even sound like a laugh, but more of a gasp of air. she clutches her ribs, finding a new pain and hurt.

“yeah, yeah, please just-” she coughs and then grunts again in attempt to pull at her leg, “please just help me.”

he stares at her, wide eyes now, as if terrified upon this conclusion. he couldn’t process the unfamiliarity of the so sudden desperation in her voice. he was still getting used to any sound coming from her mouth in the first place and he hadn’t even really heard her speak that much since…

“are you just going to stand there or..?”

he moves, carefully walking down the new shifted path from her fall, “are you okay?”

his question shocks her. she’s unsure whether or not she hit her head on the way down, “yes.”

“you don’t look okay.”

“i’ll feel much better once you get this damn rock off my foot.”

“okay,” he nods, shifting further down and closer to her so he can examine what pinned her down. he looks at her, taking in the expressions of pain that crossed her face before he finally wraps his fingers around the main rock weighing her down. he pulls, giving it all he can, but it fails and any sign of budge, only goes back down on her foot.

“shit,” she sinks at the realization, pressing the back of her head against the wall.

“i can try again-“

“no,” she sighs, clutching her ribs harder. “it wouldn’t even budge, it’s not worth trying again.”

“what do you suggest then?” he stares at her with sympathy clouding his eyes—it makes her sick. “me not trying again is me-“

“bellamy,” she waves his words away, “bellamy, behind you.”

he looks quick to see the head of a walker, pressing against the small wall of debris separating them. he moves faster than she can focus, moving back over the mountain and toward the hungry hounds of death. there’s more gunfire and unpleasant sounds that send her into a spiral of reality that she would probably die like this.

no, you’re being silly.

why’s everything so suddenly hot?

“athena,” he’s in front of her again, his hand grabbing onto her forearm. “let’s try this again,” he nods, waiting for her to nod back or give him some sign of compliance.

“fine.”

he again, tries to lift the large piece of cement, but again, fails. he takes a seat across from her, rubbing his mouth in thought. he looks beyond frustrated now.

“i’m fine. i’ll be fine.”

“shut up,” he doesn’t care for any variation of reassurance or sympathy she had for him. that only meant she was giving up and that lead to those words. “you can barely breathe. you probably broke a rib or two by the way your dumbass is holding yourself.”

“piss off,” she exhales sharply. “just leave me.”

“shut up.”

he hates how easily she gives up. he doesn’t understand it.

“bellamy, be honest with yourself. you never needed me,” she huffed. “all you had to do was follow the damn train tracks. you don’t need me. face it, the dead will get me before you get this damn thing off me.”

he stares at her strangely, like she was out of her mind. he had never seen her like this; not in this delusion that somehow made her look so soft. he didn’t understand how she so easily was accepting of this; accepting this seemingly inevitable death that had been following her around. he can’t help but think this is his fault.

“i’m not going to leave someone who obviously needs help.”

“are you talking about now or when we first met?”

both.

bellamy had a nose for those kinds of things—when people are in desperate need of being saved and athena practically reeked of the need for saving. not saving from someone or something, but from herself.

“i’m fine.”

“stop saying that,” he eyes her hard now. she wants to get away from it; from the way he looked so disappointed in her. “you’re not going to die today, i’m not going to let you.”

“why do you care?”

he bites the inside of his cheek to stop from almost smiling, “i don’t.”

“fuck you.”

“let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, princess,” he stands, once again trying to pry the object from her foot. “we still gotta get out of here.”

“bellamy, stop, bellamy,” her voice becomes petrified to the realization of the sudden build up of walkers around them. “bellamy look!”

he swings up fast, firing an empty gun with desperation till a loud sound of someone else firing rounds pierces both their ears. bellamy is fast to hunch over athena at the sound before it stops and a sharp laugh fills the air.

“and you fuckers thought this would be the faster way.”

**

the campfire seemed to have been even more chattier than usual, especially after the rescue operation the rest of the group had executed on athena and bellamy.

after twenty minutes, they had been able to wrench the piece of wreckage from athena’s foot with not just bellamy, but echo and murphy. there was an immediate relief and a reality check upon realization that she wasn’t dying and she must have seemed like a complete fool in front of bellamy.

she only had two broken ribs like bellamy had guessed, and once raven did the best she could to bandage her up, they set up camp right in the stone tunnel.

“how about you little goddess? you never told us your story.”

it takes athena awhile to realize raven’s the one talking to her with a smirk that could be mistaken for a smile placed on her face. it caused her breathing to become uneven, still not used to the presence and mock of another human being. she almost found it to be more horrifying than a walker—human judgment.

athena never thought the day where she’d have to speak the words of what she had done aloud would come. it was her worst nightmare, having to admit what she did. she thought she’d have time, a long time, or forever for that matter. 

she stays silent for the longest time to the point that raven begins to think she didn't hear her until she utters the words everyone else usually does, “it doesn’t matter.”

bellamy realized that athena’s mouth once again became a steel trap upon the arrival of the others. while murphy, echo, and him pulled the large debris from her foot, her panic had flown away like a bird and she once again soaked in her silence. he wonders if in the small moments of delusion she had before hand, whether or not he could have gotten this story out of her himself.

“hey, just because you went through hell a little more than usual today, doesn’t give you a free pass,” murphy scoffed even though him of all people would use the same phrase—until echo nagged on him long enough—having her own phrase at hand.  

“past is important, without it what’s the point of living? it makes you who you are.” 

she used it many times on him even though echo wasn’t one to be interested in other people’s lives, especially murphy’s, but she valued memories and past—she couldn’t imagine trying to disregard it.

“well there really isn't a point in living, at this point, is there?” athena glanced back once hearing it, missing half of their eye rolls. she was putting up a front that began to resemble more and more like murphy’s and they weren’t about to go down that rabbit hole again. “you don’t want to know my story.”

“you really must be fun at parties.”

“the funnest,” she mumbled, staring down at the fire despite never had been to a party of any kind, maybe a birthday or two, but never a generic party. 

“no, but really,” murphy mumbled, “what happened to you?”

“i bet she was a rich pretty girl,” raven mumbled, smiling at the slightest as she stared at athena, hoping for some rise out of her. “who had a princess life with everything handed to her.”

“did you have a boyfriend?” murphy was looking to add on. everyone knew taunting was one of the best ways to get answers if nothing else was working. “i bet you did. probably super hot right? football captain, probably had a couple of scholarships too, huh? told you he loved you second date, bought you a promise ring and made promises that someday the two of you would get married but… that didn’t exactly goes as plan, you know what i mean?”

athena looked up, slightly confused as to what was going on. she was familiar with the feeling of being taunted, manipulated into getting answers and anger, but it was strange. she had never experienced something like it, like this in a very long time. the nature of it was very off-putting and she almost thought it wasn’t real.

bellamy shared a look with echo who seemed just as lost to murphy’s plan while octavia found entertainment in it. she herself wanted to know the truth, the answers to athena’s past so bad, she could hardly care for how they got it out of her.

“i bet he left you-” “murphy,” bellamy gave him a pointed look, telling him to knock it off because in the off chance that all words coming from murphy’s mouth were true.

“no,” athena shook her head to the slightest, “you really want to know?”

they all looked to her and she raised an eyebrow to which they all gingerly nodded, aside from bellamy who narrowed his brows at her, not believing this to be the best decision, but murphy had once again proved to be the master of manipulation. 

it was silent and athena adjusted herself, preparing to unleash the horrid truth of her past, something she wished not to do. but a strange feeling in her chest wanted her to prove herself… that she didn’t have it as easy as murphy had guessed and her life was anything but romantic.  

“i lived a basic military life just like you guys did,” she wiped her mouth, hating the gross feeling that collapsed around her with the sudden reminiscing. “we moved around a lot, i was put into camps, i was taught to shoot a gun, to use a knife… all that basic combat bullshit that never seemed useful until now.”

her lips slightly twitched upward in a smile, thinking back to all the labor she underwent that she used to think was so useless—thinking all of it was for nothing…

“my father seemed to have known it before anyone else,” she had her lips presssed together, now focusing tightly on the campfire and nothing else. it almost made octavia stop her from continuing, suddenly knowing that there was some large variant of grief within this story. “i didn’t have a boyfriend and i’ve never even came close to saying i love you to anyone. he shoved us into a bunker before any of that… could happen i guess—me and my sisters and my mom... before we even knew. thought he was crazy.”

“you have sisters?” murphy quirked a brow, adjusting himself against the log he was leaned up against. 

“used to.”

“what do you mean ‘used to’?”

“he killed them.”

it's silent and their stomachs swell to the painful truth, something unexpected. 

bellamy looked up rather quick, almost shocked by her words just as the rest, but he resisted making any other movements that would clarify how taken aback he was by how straight forward she was—by the way there was no sign of emotion in the core of her voice.

“there was a night when the generator shut down halfway through dinner and everything was dark, so dark,” her voice suddenly layered over with hurt and almost fear that it made octavia worry, it made her want to cover her ears. “he told us to stay in our rooms and i was just sitting there in silence, in darkness, and then the screaming started.

“i knew he was coming for us all after he killed my mother, and then hera. he knocked on each of our doors and once he was at ophelia’s, he killed her with an axe before she could even process,” pause, athena inhaled, her voice leveling onto a different tone, deeper, suppressing any sound that clued to weakness. “see, i was smart, he knew i was smart, he always said i was his stupid fucking prodigy child. that’s why i ran.”

and then silence, again. 

but murphy was the only one brave enough to keep talking, not brave but the only one who didn’t have enough courtesy to keep his mouth shut, “so what happened?” echo nudge him, but he ignored her, continuing to speak, “i mean, you didn’t run, you couldn’t have.”

“you’re right,” she looked up, “i killed him, and then i ran.”

“just like that?”

“just like that. me or him, he knew that,” athena inhaled, straightening out her back as if she was done with story time, “it was a final test and only one of us could walk out of that bunker alive.”

it was then that everything seemed to have made sense for bellamy. as he stared and analyzed more closely with the fire dancing up the side of her face as she sat calmly, he then knew, and understood.

this is what she needed to be saved from.

being a heavily raised military kid already meant you were held dead inside from all the training they pounded down into your brain, all the people you met, screaming in your face, you grew up fast.

bellamy usually felt no remorse for anyone; what happens to you, happens to you for a reason. whether that being karma or just the simple fact of needing to learn a lesson, but what happened to athena, shouldn’t happen to anyone.

he felt remorse for her. especially after remembering what he had said in the tunnel.

be honest, you can’t stand the matter of trust and compatibility because of whatever issues you dragged in from before the fall.

wow, that was really kicking his ass.

“i’m not like any of you, and i never will be. i cant help someone out of the goodness of my heart, especially now, because my father taught me the biggest lesson of all; you can’t trust anyone, not even those closest to you.”

navigation.

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter r @cc13723things @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @ritz-hell-hotel @fruitiseavey @kayalect @strnqer @mystic-writings @moonlighy @straightzoinked @thelaststraw3 @alexxavicry @esposadomd @lupinsluvbot

death era.

part eight of n/a.

ricky rocks. flash back episode !!!

“everyone needs to just shut up,” echo doesn’t look at any of them and yet her eyes are wild and unable to stay in one place. “we have to figure a way out of here.”

she can feel her heart in her throat upon the dawning reality that she had no plan and half the people in the room with her were a bunch of dimwits.

“that’s kinda a hard thing to do when you told us to shut up.”

“keep your comments to yourself before i take that gun back, john.”

murphy rolls his eyes at the sound of his name; at the sound of the way she says it. it’s always so hostile and harsh whenever it comes out of her mouth and it only makes him hate it more.

it reminds him of the way his mother used to say it.

“why don’t we just leave, simple as that?”

“we can’t just do that, murphy. there are still other people here,” raven still sits on the floor, watching the two.

“yeah, people that are probably already dead and if not, who do you think the ones that are gonna get killed going to be when we come to their rescue?”

“that’s so classic of you, murphy.”

“what do you suggest we do then?” he turns his chin fast to face octavia who gives him an irritated look.

wow, wasn’t he just a crowd pleaser today.

“we wait till bellamy wakes up.”

“bellamy?” murphy looks disgusted, glancing down to him and his peaceful state in octavia’s lap. “i like him much better knocked out.”

“we don’t have time for that… or this,” echo shakes her head, interrupting the nasty stare octavia gave that would ultimately lead to an argument. “you better hope he wakes up soon because i’m not carrying him.”

“maybe if you didn’t hit him so damn hard.”

“hey, shut it, murphy. otherwise you’ll be right with your pal, bellamy.”

he grumbles, turning his shoulder away from them, “what’re you looking at?” his eyes suddenly meet the face of a boy he had never notice up until now.

the skinny boy with black hair was quick to put his hands up in defense, scooting further away from the menacing stare murphy continued to force in on him.

“that’s what i thought, string bean.”

this was the least ideal situation to be in with the least ideal group to be together. outside of this moment, not one of them would have willingly step foot to be among one another.

although the base was big but filled with a small amount of people, their worlds barely ever collided.

“alright, what do you wanna do echo?”

she blinks, looking down to raven who looks like a little kid with her legs crossed. she feels her chest swell up with importance at the undivided attention and suddenly a drive of adrenaline flows through her veins once again.

echo hated everyone. it was easy to tell. her parents died at her ripe age of 7 where she was handed off to a strict military woman who beat her own values of no remorse, empathy, or emotion into her. that woman died the moment the virus took over the base and echo couldn’t have been more happy—until they didn’t let her leave.

no one was allowed to leave, for their own good as they would say. the remaining adults of the base had an idea that they could repopulate and help rid of the disease that turned the dead into living once more. but here they were, the remaining adults being what they feared and echo being in a room of people she hated—except raven. now, she could stand raven.

“i’m all ears. whatever you need me to do, i’ll do.”

echo smiles, yeah, she didn’t mind her at all. raven was the only one with a couple brain cells who could function.

“try to wake boy toy up, then let’s kill the rest of these fuckers.”

**

it didn’t take much to wake bellamy up, but it took a lot to calm him down.

“why would i trust you?”

“because i’m the one with the gun,” her teeth shine past her lips in a snide look at his clear upset state.

it only provoked him more, taking a step closer, but echo is far from fazed. she knew bellamy and the type of person he was, therefore she felt far from inferior when around him like she knew he was trying to do.

before the fall, echo spent her whole first year in basic combat training with him due to him shadowing the instructor. he was a douchebag who thrived on proving his superiority over the younger trainees, including echo.

“bellamy, just listen to her,” octavia forced herself into his peripheral vision, hoping he’d step away from her. “we have no other options and echo knows what she’s doing.”

“and i don’t?”

“you seem to have forgotten she had you out cold moments ago, buddy.”

“murphy, i’ll kill you.”

“woah, woah, woah,” mock marinates in his voice. “she’s the one with the gun, don’t think she’ll let that happen.”

“i wouldn’t be against it.”

civility was hard to achieve, especially in the beginning.

“will you all just calm down,” raven stands a foot back with her arms crossed. “if we want to get out of here, we need to execute now. the breakers are all the way on the other side of the building and who knows how many scavs are outside this door.”

it took five minutes for raven to come up with a plan to get out and that was through the breakers—the security and maintenance room, where everything was watched through cameras and where the switches to shut down all the power was. in order to leave, all the security monitors, locked doors, and ultimately the big gate at the front of the base that kept all of them in was all electrically ran and needed to be shut down.

so to get out, shit needed to be shut down.

bellamy finally breaks away from echo, turning his gaze to the other girl, “how do you expect to do that with the millions of doors that you all need a pin to, leading to that room?”

“it’s not hard,” a voice sounds from behind them all, causing them to turn. “if you break the panel and move one wire to another, the door opens just as easy as if you were to know the pin.”

they stare at him blankly in surprise as raven tries her best to conceal her smile, already anticipating this. the boy swallows nervously at the pressure of their uninviting stares suddenly on him, “it’s easy. a 10 year old could do it.”

bellamy narrows his look on him even more, “what’s your name?”

“monty. monty green,” he takes a step closer, almost expecting to shake his hand—but bellamy’s hostile stare made him rock back on his feet.

“and then after that, monty? the only people who had access to the breaker room were ones with a key card.”

“good thing i’m in charge then.”

they all turn back to echo who holds out a white and green plastic key card in all its glory.

“how the hell did you get a key card? sargent wouldn’t even clear you for a gun,” murphy narrows his gaze on her with confusion, slowly stepping forward.

“they don’t even hand those out to guards.”

“well, good thing i’m better than a guard,” she smirks, stuffing it in her back pocket. “now let’s go.”

**

the hallways were eerily empty.

echo had her mask pulled back up to the base of her face where only her dark eyes were the most distinguishable feature to the others. she scanned the little space that filled the area, leading the group down what seemed to be the hallway to their doom.

she didn’t like it one bit.

moments before she had knocked bellamy unconscious, she had watched the scavs from the watch tower take over every little home and minor building, burning them to the ground after ransacking each one. they would have no where else to be but the inside of this building—and yet, no one in sight.

“this doesn’t feel right.”

“what, you scared?”

murphy doesn’t reply.

“maybe they just all left.”

“that’s wishful thinking,” echo’s low voice sounds hollow as she leads them around a corner and toward the entrance where authorized staff only was printed largely on a sign nailed to the surface of the doors. she gripped her rifle tighter and tighter as seconds passed by with no sound, no movement, and no person was in sight.

bellamy followed from the back with his own gun that echo was reluctant about giving him until he reminded her he was their best shot.

the silence was a blessing. there were nights where bellamy longed for this type of stillness, for the break down of his up tight lifestyle. and now here it was, handed to him in his lap, yet something was off and this felt even worse compared to the norm.

“already, green, time to shine,” echo dropped her gun from position as well as pulling down the cloth that concealed her face. she glanced to bellamy, sharing a look of agreement that they were still in the clear. “get this door open and you’re golden.”

he nodded, dropping to his knees before the pin pad that was placed neatly next to the steel door. they watch him pop the cover off simply before once again pulling another layer that concealed the wiring to the door. he rips at the nest of colorful snakes before glancing at them all, smiling at their narrowed looks.

“i used to watch my dad do this all the time as a kid, wanted to be just like him. so while you all were sent to train and beat your bodies down, i was taught this,” he works as he speaks before finally pulling away and looking to the door. they follow his gaze but are met with disappointment when there’s no sign of acceptance to his fiddling.

monty makes a sound of confusion, a crease forming between his brow as he looks at the door, then the mangled key pad.

“i’m guessing that’s not supposed to happen.”

“what clued you on to that?”

“they must have changed their wiring in the past month, otherwise i don’t understand why this wouldn’t have worked,” he still stares at his work, disappointed.

“so… we can’t get in?” bellamy is losing patience.

“no, we can. it’ll just take me a lot longer.”

“how much longer?”

“say, 7 minutes.”

“christ,” bellamy pinches the bridge of his nose. “we don’t have that time.”

“we actually don’t know what time we do have… considering-“

“murphy, shut the fuck up. i’m not waiting that long, i’ll find another way.”

“bellamy, you can’t just-“

he’s right back around the corner and toward where they came from with no attempt to listen to their persistence. he was impatient and itching to get out of that building. if he didn’t find a way soon, he would lose his mind.

these hallways with florescent lights were the center of his nightmares. he found himself lost in what was an exact replica of it, wandering and desperate to get out. just like right now.

he grew up in these halls. every waking moment of his life were spent within these halls of the base. he hated it. he wished the scavs would have burned down this building first.

“don’t move.”

there was a nose of a gun suddenly practically pressed to bellamy’s own nose. he jerked back out of shock, neglecting to process who was on the other side of the rifle till he found himself pinned.

“who are you? why’re you here?”

bellamy’s eyes find theirs before anything else till the question is repeated again, “huh? who the fuck are you?”

a girl.

he finds himself slowly lower his arms upon realization, “who’re you?”

“your worst fuckin’ nightmare if you don’t give me a straight answer.”

he recognized this girl.

“relax, i’m just trying to get out of here.”

“hard thing to do when the gates won’t open.”

“you’re trying to get to the breakers,” he speaks his thoughts aloud.

her eyes narrow, “why would you know that?”

“because you’re not the only one trying to escape.”

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter r @cc13723things @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @ritz-hell-hotel @fruitiseavey @kayalect @strnqer @mystic-writings @moonlighy @straightzoinked @thelaststraw3 @alexxavicry @esposadomd @lupinsluvbot

i do what i have to do.

pairings. bellamy blake x fem!reader

part two of two.

about. in which you point your gun at someone you never thought you’d point it at.

warnings. swearing

ricky rocks. look who finally finished a year old one shot/fic/whatever you call it 🤗🤗

bellamy coudn’t hurt you even if he wanted to. so, when mumbling the words, ‘move or i’ll kill you’, you could see right through his bluff by the way his eyes so willingly betrayed him, filled with... hurt.

in all truth, bellamy believed you would have shot him if it would have come down to that, and maybe that’s what pained him most. he wouldn't hurt a hair on your head, and you would have, but only for the best interest and safety of arkadia and your friends. 

you never wanted to hurt bellamy, but recently you really, really wanted to slap him upside the head for all the stupid shit he had been doing. and maybe a gun scare would knock some sense into him, or maybe it would only put him deeper into the hole pike was digging for him. 

bellamy yanked you to your feet quickly after the two of you had seemed to have recovered from all the commotion that had just taken place. you weren't sure whether or not he wanted to get you away from the increase in rowdy crowd or to have his way with you first. 

you were beginning to think it was the last option as he marched down the hall with you in front of him, gripping your left arm while the other pressed against your back. one, two, three, four more steps before he shoved you into one of the guards rooms, his room. 

“what the hell do you think you’re doing?” he let go of your arm with a slight shove causing you to stumble forward a bit. he looked angry, more than you had ever seen him and more than you would have ever wished to see.

“bellamy, don’t start with me,” you mumbled, raising a finger to harshly accuse him... for something. “if you’re going to kill me, just get it over with.”

he scoffed, looking beyond dumbfounded with his mouth slight agape, not believing the words that had just came from your mouth.

“stop fucking talking,” he needed to think. he begun to pace back and forth, and you had no idea what to do with yourself as you watched him. “i need to get you out of here.”

"what?"

he gives you a dumbfounded look that was filled with a sense of urgency, "y/n, you just shot someone that can have you dead within seconds. you don't leave, someone’s going to do exactly what you did, and take justice into their own hands."

"you should have let me finish the job."

"we're not starting this," he grips your shoulder before pushing you by your upper back. "people are leaving. o, kane, miller—you go with them. you stay, they'll kill you."

"how do you know this?" you mumbled, glancing back at the mention of your friends and the planned escape you all had developed. bellamy was considered a traitor to you all, so he would be the last person on your list to concern with the escape plan. 

"eyes everywhere."

you narrow your brows at him, "you're coming with."

he narrows his brows in shock, not expecting you to say this, you share the same expression, also shocked by yourself. the past month would explain this--not only had you watched your world at arkadia fastly crumble after the slow rebuild of humanity, you also witnessed your relationship with bellamy slowly tank moment after moment while his with pike was created.

so, offering passage was an absurd idea. after all the betrayal.

he seems to wince after his surprisal settles but is quick to keep a straight face as best as he can, "you're getting the wrong idea."

"am i?"

"we're not friends anymore, y/n. this isn't old times," his words are intentionally stinging, but you don't miss the look on his face that betrays him. "you can't save me if that’s what you’re thinking. I don't need to be saved, i know what i’m doing."

you frown, "bellamy, you need to stop acting like there's never going to be a happy ending for you before it comes true. leave with us."

"you know i can't do that."

"why not?"

"I dug myself in too deep this time," his face was still stone cold, but it didn't prevent remorse from blossoming in your chest. "maybe if you weren't such a terrible shot, this would be all over."

***

in well under an hour bellamy had you out of arkadia, alone. your friends had left a lot sooner than thought and no matter how much begging you did—expectedly—bellamy left his mind unchanged. 

you knew exactly where your friends were going—where they’d be. it was a long and lonely hike but it was enough time for reflection.

you miss the time where you felt like a kid still. where you were young and reckless and full of hope that you’d finally get to be free upon that first step off the drop ship. that you had purpose and will and fighting was something you hadn’t really minded aside from the possible side affect of death.

now you were tired. you just wanted to lay your head down for once and not think about the pointless rivalry purging your everyday life.

“y/n, you’re okay,” octavia pulls you into a tight hug, a certain relief setting over. “god, after we hadn’t seen you, we assumed the worst.”

“i’m okay,” you gave her a thin-lipped smile, “thanks to your brother.”

“bellamy?” she seems shocked, like that’s the first courteous thing he’s done for someone in years.

“yes,” you nod, understanding the hostile tone she almost takes with his name. “i think he might’ve saved me.”

“where is bellamy?” miller speaks causing you to realize they had all emerged from the cave.

"he's gone."

"dead?"

"no,” you shake your head, “he stayed behind. he said he had to fix some thing’s before he showed his face again.”

octavia mentally rolled her eyes, but kept her composure as she watched you, “you’re here. that’s all that matters.”

***

“is he dead?”

“indra has him.”

“bellamy-“

“y/n,” he gives you a pointed look at your protest. “you know that’s as good as dead.”

he was right. pike killed her people, that was far from unforgivable. he’d be lucky to receive death.

“she didn’t kill you.”

he shook his head, keeping his eyes low to the ground, “thanks to o.”

it took a day for bellamy to find you all. his face was beaten and bloodied, but you knew better than to ask what the cause was. he had a lot of enemies at the moment and it wasn’t like this was something out of the blue for him. you would've been surprised to see a clean face.

“she doesn’t hate you as much as you think.”

“i’d like to think she doesn’t hate me at all,” he presses his lips into a thin line. “you’re right though.”

you nod, trying to look sympathetic.

“about everything. i’m sorry.”

your mouth slightly opens in shock from not anticipating his words; apology and admitting.

“i’m sorry too,” you nod, swallowing harshly as you think about having that gun pointed inches from his face. “i would’ve never shot you.”

“you sure?” his voice is lighthearted, but you can tell he’s genuine when asking. “could’ve guessed otherwise.”

“guessing will only hurt you,” you tease, but quickly drop the blitheness. “i shouldn’t have done it, but i was scared… and angry.”

“i know,” he whispers, “we do what we have to do, right?”

“right.”

“then if that means shooting me to knock some sense into me, do it.”

a laugh gets stuck in the back of your throat at the preposterous thought of it. the funny thing was you knew he wasn’t joking. classic bellamy, putting himself in harm’s way.

“me a couple months ago would be more than happy to oblige,” you shake your head, making it his turn to laugh.

“us a couple months ago was a different story. i’m sure we already had guns to each other’s throats.”

you laugh with him, “yeah.”

“never again.”

nodding, “never again.”

you stare at one another now, quiet and calm. you don’t think you’ve ever had a moment like this with bellamy before.

you’re not sure what to do, but bellamy does.

your months of angsty butting heads leading to civilness, then ultimately leading to radio silence on both of your ends due to pike, had killed him. and now, here you were, back in his grasp of more than just civilness, he couldn’t let that go.

“i lied,” he mumbles, suddenly shifting from the rock he sat on. “instead of shooting me…” he’s leaning now, hovering, and just barely resisting the urge to complete his intentions. you feel his breath fan your face; feel, because your eyes are shut. “please, just kiss me.”

his nose is slotted against yours, still hovering as he watches you beneath his eye lashes. his lips are so close… so close to yours, it’s killing him that he waits.

“i’m sorry, but i have to do this,” he smiles before finally pressing his lips against yours.

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @myalupinblack @cc13723things @Uselesssapphickitten @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @itzstacie @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @dayanaralight @nyx3028 @hizziestial @ritz-hell-hotel @fruitiseavey @kayalect @deathtobarbie @areil4 @strnqer @mystic-writings @gbrownn @moonlighy @straightzoinked @thelaststraw3 @navyabhatnagar @alexxavicry @esposadomd @lupinsluvbot

I Told You You’d Cry—Jasper Jordan

Pairing: Jasper Jordan x genderneutral!reader 

Trigger warning: Injured Jasper, near death 

Fandom: The 100

Genre: Bit of fluff, mostly angst 

Requested: No

Word count: 

Summary: Y/n hasn’t slept for a week, too worried about her injured best friend, cursing herself because he was right all along. She would cry if he died. 

*Gif not mine*

Italics = memory

“Y/n do something!” “Would you shut up for a second, Monty? Clarke, find me a wash cloth.” You said, eyes glued to Jasper’s injury engulfed body. A cough wracked his fragile form, and your brow furrowed. Clarke sprinted quick as quicksilver out of the tower your were huddled in with Monty and a barely breathing Jasper Jordan. 

“You better wake up goggle boy.” Your voice shook a little as you spoke, he was right after all. You would cry if he died. You’d more than cry, you’d yell, kick, and scream as insanity engulfed you very essence. 

“Oh come on, you would. You love me too much not too.” Jasper teased. You threw a small rock at his head, and he swooped left just in time. “Great shot, not as great as me though.” He winked, you laughed. 

“Well if you don’t die, we’ll never have to find out, goggle boy.” 

You had debated this topic with your best friend innumerable times over the years you’d known each other. He’d do something dumb and potentially life threatening, and tease you about how much you’d cry if he died, you’d deny such things and tell him the you’d never have to find out. Now here he is before you again, about to try and get to Mount Weather with a few other outlaws, doing just the same. 

“But what would you do if I did?” Amusement sparkled in his whiskey coloured eyes, always enjoying your reaction to his taunts. 

“Just don’t die, okay?” You groaned. He pulled you into his chest, arms wrapping firmly around your waist, chin resting on top of your head. His hand moved gently through your hair, another thing he always did when the laughter died out, and his emotions were vulnerable. 

“All teasing aside though, I wouldn’t leave you like that.” he murmured against you hair. He pulled away enough to look you in the eyes, his way of showing he was sincere. Out of everything so far, this was the riskiest yet. You were back on the ground, exploring completely unknown territory, like the Lewis and Clark expedition on steroids. 

“I should hope not.” You smiled gently at him, and he leaned slightly closer to you, forehead bumping yours.

“Could you guys do that after we’ve gotten back from Mount Weather? Come on, Jasper.” Monty rolled his eyes, appearing next to Jasper, trapping his foot impatiently. 

“See you soon?”

“See you soon.”

It had been a week. Or maybe less. Or more. You didn’t know what time it was, or whether it was day or night, or how many days or weeks it had been since Bellamy and Clarke had dragged him into the camp. When they’d come back without him the first time, Finn had to lock you in the tower so you wouldn’t go bolting out of the camp, and as it turns out they found your a attachment to Jasper a liability and didn’t let you out until they came back. At least they were letting you treat him now. 

Plenty of your time was spent sending Clarke or Octavia into the forest to get plants and test them out on yourself to see if they were poisonous or not. A few had made you seriously ill, and you’d gone outside briefly so you didn’t infect Jasper, but no plants had been fatal, and most had proven relatively helpful. The others told you every day “you need to hurry, someday Bellamy’s going to take the snap” and he would, you were sure, but you would buy yourself as much time as you could muster to keep Jasper alive. 

You hadn’t cried yet, you wouldn’t let yourself, that would mean admitting he had died. If you started to get chocked up, you’d snapped your eyes shut and force fond memories of your best friend into you mind, blocking out the version of him that was sitting with a dying pulse on the metal floor in front of you. 

It was miraculous frankly that you hadn’t swallowed your own tongue yet, with only about an hour and a half of sleep each day, anyone else would have, but anyone else was not you. You had a better reason to stay awake than they did, you only wish Jasper did too. 

Peeking open eyes, you gazed at his face. His face was pinched like he was having a nightmare, and he let out occasional groans of pain, and mumbles of nonsense, though you occasionally caught your name. It shattered your heart, and your hand quickly tangled itself with his. 

This time when the tears started to prick your eyes, you let them come. You let them pour down your cheeks like the spray of a geyser. Nothing was stopping you now, and your body quaked with sobs. And then a hand squeezed yours. 

Your head snapped up, gazing at the now very much conscious Jasper. Your free hand covered your mouth, jaw hanging slack. 

“I told you you’d cry.” he rasped, a small grin tugging at his chapped lips. 

“Oh my god.” you whispered, curling you knees into you chest, and gently brushing his hair out of his face. 

“That’s my job.” he protested meekly, narrowing his eyes in protest, clearly yearning to swat your hand away. 

“I don’t care, all I care about is you right now, okay? I’m never letting you go anywhere without me ever again, I’m going to make sure this never happens to you more than once, it shouldn’t have happened at all! God, what if you really had died? There’s no one more important to me, and I’m sorry I never told you, but I’m in love with you, I have been for years, and what if you’d died and I never got to—”

“Shh,” Jasper whispered, his expression softened even more if that was possible, hand shakily battling its way towards you to cup your cheek, thumb weakly wiping away the new wave of tears that had begun to fall. “It’s okay, I love you too you know.” 

“Really?”

“Really.”

Just A Dream - Bellamy Blake (The 100)

This is mostly for myself cause my brain decided to taunt me by having a dream about Bellamy's death.

~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up with a gasp, immediately starting to hyperventilate and sob as you recalled the events that took place in your dream. It felt so real. Why did it feel so real? And yet, it made absolutely no sense.

Why would your mind come up with such a horrible scenario?

You soon felt a pair of arms grab you, accompanied with a gentle voice that you instantly recognized as your boyfriend, Bellamy, who happened to be the subject of your nightmare.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Bellamy whispered, holding you safely in his arms as you tried to stop crying.

You gripped onto his strong arms tightly, making sure he was real, that he wasn't...dead.

"Nightmare?" He asked, and you could only nod, your breathing shaky and uneven. "Sometimes, it helps to talk about it. Whenever O had a nightmare when she was little, talking about it helped her."

You sighed heavily, the thought about talking about what had happened in your dream out loud didn't appeal to you, just thinking about it made you feel sick and on the verge of a panic attack. But you'd give it a try, you trusted Bellamy after all.

"In my dream...Clarke killed you."

Bellamy's eyes widened briefly, not expecting...that. He couldn't even imagine that, knowing that Clarke would never do such a thing. But regardless, Bellamy urged you to continue.

"You wouldn't give Madi's sketchbook back, you wanted to give it to Cadogon. And Clarke just...shot you, without even trying anything else. I watched you fall to the floor, and I couldn't even do anything." You started to cry again, covering your face with your hands.

Bellamy frowned, and he couldn't help but feel guilty. He knew that your dream very well could've happened if he decided to side with the Shepard. He only pretended to be a disciple to gain Cadogon's trust so it would be easier to help his family. He could've told them his plan all along, but he couldn't risk anything ruining it. Even if he was truly a disciple, he'd never put Madi in harm's way. Never. Bellamy couldn't even imagine himself being that cruel, he'd probably want Clarke to kill him if he became that blind to reality.

Bellamy pulled you into his lap, his arms securely wrapped around your waist and kissed your temple. "Hey, I'm sorry I scared you. It was the only way I could make sure you guys would be safe. I was so scared that the plan would get ruined that I forgot how to trust my family. But you know I'd never do something like that, and Clarke would never hurt me. She's my best friend."

You nodded, leaning your head against his. "I know...I know. But it was so painful to see it in my dream-"

"Y/n," Bellamy said softly, "that's all it was. A dream, nothing more. I'm here. Everyone's here. We're all alive, and we're safe. We don't have to worry about anyone trying to attack or kill us ever again, okay? We have the whole world to ourselves."

You kissed Bellamy softly, tangling your fingers in his thick dark hair, his scent calming you better than anything in the universe. "I love you so much, Bell." You said when you pulled away.

Bellamy smiled, briefly trailing his thumb across your jaw before kissing the tip of your nose. "I love you too. So, how about we get back to sleep?"

You tensed, your expression turning into slight panic until Bellamy held your hands. "Hey, I'll be right beside you. I'll be right here, okay?"

You nodded, laying back down along with Bellamy, resting your head on his chest, his heartbeat soon lulling you back to a dreamless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

God, I miss my Bellboy. I miss him so goddamn much.

a l l t o o w e l l

Includes : Bellamy Blake

Genre : Angst, very little fluff

Warnings : Minimal use of Y/N, first person pov, mentions of fighting, mentions of praimfaya, not proofread

Based on : All Too Well by Taylor Swift

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Y/N and Bellamy Blake had a complicated relationship from the start. From the moment the drop ship landed on Earth and Blake asserted his dominance over the 100, she despised him. He was arrogant, cocky, and rude.

However, Clarke Griffin, a close friend of hers, insisted on an “alliance” of sorts, claiming it was necessary for survival. And now, the girl has to bite her tongue as Clarke and Blake have become the leaders of the 100, the king and queen.

The 100 were currently working on building a wall around the campsite to help defend from the grounders. She had been helping put the walls up for hours, and was in desperate need of a break.

Even though she knew both Clarke and Bellamy would scorn her if they saw her, she snuck outside the camp and walked to a quiet meadow away from the chaos in the drop ship.

She sat on a log among the grass and flowers, breathing in the floral and earthy scents. She couldn’t help but look back on her time on the Ark and its stale, metallic scent. She was glad that she was among the few people to come back to Earth. She used to dream of feeling the blades of grass tickle the palms of her hands, the flower petals caressing her nose and cheeks, the scent of dirt and trees and leaves and greenery blessing her scent buds.

The snap of a twig brought her out of her nostalgic thoughts, defenses coming up immediately in fear of a Grounder. She didn’t think to bring a weapon with her, being in desperate need of a break.

She turned to find not a Grounder, but Bellamy Blake stalking towards her, a stern look on his face. “What are you doing out here?” He sounded angry.

It was her turn to scowl. “I’m taking a break, what are you doing?”

“I saw you sneak off. Are you insane? There are Grounders out here, and you didn’t even tell anyone you were leaving.”

“Jeez, Blake, I’m only a couple minutes away from camp. Plus, what do you care if a Grounder gets me?”

He seemed taken aback by her question. After a few seconds of silence, he finally spoke. “Of course I care. Keeping you guys safe is my responsibility.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” They stared at each other for what felt like eons, until she patted the space next to her, inviting him to sit. Maybe it was the serene atmosphere that made her extend an invitation, or maybe it was the fact that she was tired of the constant battle between her and Bellamy. They were like ice and liquor, like water and vinegar.

He hesitated for a moment before moving to sit with her. The pair sat in silence, taking in the view in front of them. Maybe being in each other’s company wasn’t so bad.

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

“Where is he?” She was frantic, eyes scanning the drop ship for Bellamy. Murphy had come back from being tortured by the Grounders, bringing an infectious illness along with him. They had spent hours taking care of the sick delinquents, when the girl had been told about Bellamy getting sick. Her and Bellamy had reached a sort of stalemate after their “moment” in the meadow. They didn’t hate each other, but they didn’t like each other.

She lies to herself, because, she does like him. More than she wants to. And now, hearing he’s sick with this deadly disease made her regret all the times she had argued with him.

“He’s here,” Clarke pointed to a secluded corner in the ship, where she saw Octavia leaning over her brother, a wet rag to his forehead. “You shouldn’t be in here,” Clarke warned, but the girl didn’t listen. She rushed to Bellamy’s side, and her heart broke seeing his face contorted in pain.

She took the rag from Octavia’s hands, “go rest.” She watched as Octavia smiled appreciatively, and walked away.

As she put the rag to Bellamy’s forehead, she saw Bellamy’s eyes open and focus on her, his chocolate irises burning with concern. “What- what are you doing?” Bellamy choked out. “You’ll get sick.”

She shushed him, smiling sweetly, hoping to bring some sort of comfort to the sick man. “It’s okay. Just close your eyes.” He stared at her a little longer, before deciding to close his eyes, knowing she would stay by his side the whole night.

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

“She did it,” Octavia whispered. Clarke had finally pulled the lever, destroying the City of Light along with A.L.I.E. Bellamy and Octavia watch as their friends and the citizens of Polis snap out of their trance, being relieved from A.L.I.E’s hold.

Bellamy, however, was focused on one person. Y/N. The girl he hated and grew to love. His girl.

After their experience in Mount Weather, Bellamy and her’s relationship evolved, growing closer together.

Unfortunately for Bellamy, she was forced to take the Key, making her forget her happy memories with Bellamy, and turning her into A.L.I.E’s most trusted soldier.

She had been fighting Bellamy and Octavia, using the skills she learnt from Octavia and the Grounders. Bellamy didn’t want to fight her. He hated the thought of hurting her. But her pursuit against him was relentless, her punches hurting more and more.

They were close to killing each other, until Clarke ended it all.

He watched as she snapped out of whatever trance she was in. Her eyes were glazed over with confusion, but they cleared once they landed on his. At once, she launched herself into his arms. He held tightly onto her, relief flooding his body.

She pulled back to look him in the eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Bell,” she whispered. She pushed her lips onto his, letting the kiss speak the words she couldn’t say.

Bellamy kissed back with as much passion, feeling his crumpled heart straighten itself out again.

He was never going to let her go again.

It was rare, you remember it all too well

Bellamy watched down from the window of the ship, memories playing in his head like a film on a movie screen. However, this film wasn’t a happy one. This film was one of sadness, tragedy, betrayal. Bellamy regrets that moment every day of his life. He regrets the moment he had to leave his lover along with his best friend on Earth, abandoning them to radiation that would kill them.

If only things didn’t turn out this way. Bellamy lives every day in space plagued with dreams of what his life could’ve been. Of him being with her, hugging her, kissing her. Living a normal life. A life without Grounders, radiation, killer AI. A life where him and her could be happy. If only things were different.

If only the weren’t doomed from the start.

t h e 1 0 0

key

❃ - fluff ❀ - angst ❁ - mature

Bellamy Blake

all too well ❀