The South - Tumblr Posts
This is the about me section in my upcoming YouTube video! Be sure to check it out this Saturday, August 26 2023!
I lied, put your clothes back on. We’re going to talk about how American non-southern leftists disguise their classism and hatred towards the south and southerners as progressiveness
i have a love hate relationship with the south, because as much as i love abandoned houses at the side of the road, churches everywhere you look, cheerwine, and white crosses against blue skies, why the actual fuck is it 80 degrees in late september.
It’s always interesting hanging out with my queer grandma who doesn’t know she’s a lesbian or bi with a heavyyy preference. Like yes, sure Mimi your relationship with your best friend was not at all you being in love with her why would anyone everrr say that. In ur new book? The queer coding of the main character and her best friend that’s very poorly hidden projection? Not gay at allll. Nor are all of the comments about not understanding what the use of men are or why most women love them so much. Not at allll queer Mimi nope nope.
irl where I'm from this would sound like:
y'all'd've'f y'couldda BUT y'didn't
translation: y'all would have [insert action here] if you could have but you didn't (pronunciation: y'all-duff fya-couldda *slight pause for effect* but yuh didn't)
we usually use "y'aint" at the beginning of a sentence...
ex) y'aint goin' to that party. y'aint that good.
often you can tell someone's not from the American South if they end a sentence with a Southern contraction- like how native English speakers don't end sentences with "I'm" or "we're"
ex) you're not as good as we're.
see how the first contraction sounds natural and the second is weird? yeah exactly- ending a phrase with "y'aint" sounds as weird to me
Clark: y’all’d’ve’f’ld’ve but y’aint me.
Bruce: (rethinking his no killing rule)
How to start your car during summer in the South
Open the door using your shirt as a glove because the door handle is too hot to touch with your bare skin
Get in the car and immediately burn your back and ass on the seat
Accidentally touch the metal part of the seatbelt when you're putting it on
Close the door, sealing yourself in that accursed oven of a vehicle
Turn the car on and immediately turn on the AC
The AC is blowing hot air at you and now you know how that microwave burrito you ate last week felt
Open the window to let fresh air in only to realize this doesn't make things better at all
Everything is hot. It's summer in the south.
Put your hands on the steering wheel and for the first time in your life wish that you owned driving gloves
Ask yourself whether you really need to be going somewhere right now (you do)
Resign yourself to your fate
Finally the AC starts blowing cold air
Enjoy your drive :)
Shout out to the south for having amazing manners except for the fact that's it's fucking rude to stare
Can America just... let the deep South be their own country? They're trying to time travel to before LGBTQ+ people had the right to not die.
