These Are Horrible - Tumblr Posts

A list of some of my favorite things overheard at school, part eight:

“Well I do have long ass legs...” - “You have ass-legs???”

“Do you know just how many times you’ve lied to me and  laughed at my pain?” 

“I’m trying to get high. I put on this V-neck sweater every time I get high.”

“No, your brother would totally help if your boyfriend went into anaphylactic  shock.” 

*loud cry of pain* - “Oh, come on, that’s like the least hurtful thing I’ve hit you with today!”

“I’m glad you joined us for this friendly bowling game.” - “This was neither friendly, nor bowling...”

“How could you cry when a boy is becoming a man in the eyes of the Jewish faith?” 

“I need to smooth the parrot!” - “I hate it when people don’t smooth the parrot...”

“Privileged white person...” - “YOU TOO ARE WHITE.”

“Yeah... shouldn’t he be statistically dead by now?”