These Are So Funny - Tumblr Posts
dead boy detectives textposts as starboarded (and other) messages from the dead gay detectives server part five!!
and then, a story told in way too many parts:
1, 2, 2.5, 3, 4
dead boy detectives textposts as starboarded (and other) messages from the dead gay detectives server part nine (we've had some additions đź¤)!!!
and the usual multi-parter:
1, 2, 2.5, 3, 4, 5
6, 7 by @idliketobeatree
8 by @aletterinthenameofsanity
What do you mean you made these- these are literally just screenshots from real episodes
These are really fun to make
Lift Hands Out Nicknames
As requested by @onlymollygibson :)
Lift calls Dalinar "Tightbutt," Nale "Darkness," and Wyndle "Voidbringer" -- she seems to assign nicknames based on her personal impression of a guy (gender neutral). So if Lift assigned nicknames to other characters, what might those nicknames be?
Lift: Attention, everyone! I have decided to assign ALL of you nicknames.
Dalinar: Uh, Lift? This is actually a very important strategy meeting about--
Lift: Hush, Tightbutt!
Navani: [covers her mouth quickly to hold in a laugh]
Lift (turning dramatically toward Navani): And as for you!
Lift: In my head, I WAS calling you Mrs. Tightbutt, but I heard plenty of people talkin' during the invasion.
Lift: You are now The Mad Scientist.
Navani: With the "The"?
Lift: With the "The."
Lift: That's how you know you've storming made it.
Lift: (points at Kaladin) You're Longlegs.
Lift: Because you are very tall.
Kaladin: ...
Shallan: I am literally always saying that!
Lift: Thank you for your contribution! You are Strawberry.
Shallan: Because of my...hair?
Lift: Yes.
Lift: And you also have a general "jam-loving" aura about you.
Shallan: ...That's a strange thing to be able to tell at a glance.
Lift: Is it though?
Adolin: Do me! Do me!
Lift: Can do, Horse Girl.
Adolin (nodding sagely): It feels right.
Lift: Venli ain't here, but for the record, I call her Freedom.
Lift: Not allowed to talk about why.
Lift: You! (Points at Szeth, who was barely visible in the corner)
Lift: You're Shadows and your sword is Munchies.
Nightblood: Yessssss I get a nickname!!
Szeth: I know you are wise, small one, but....why?
Lift: You're always following someone else around like their shadow. You like to be in the shadow. You're dark but not dark like Darkness is dark.
Lift: It's stormin' layered.
Szeth: I had no reservations about your designation for me.
Szeth: I was more questioning Munchies.
Lift: She likes to eat. What can I say?
Lift: [To Renarin] You're Four-Eyes.
Renarin: ...Because of my...glasses? That I...no longer wear?
Lift: What? No!
Lift: Because you can see the present, the past, the future, and the truth. That's four things!
Renarin: Oh...that's, uh, actually very deep.
Lift: I don't only look at butts.
Lift: By the way, Tightbutt--the fact that you still have the best butt in the room remains highly suspicious.
Dalinar: ...
Dalinar: Can we get back to our meeting now?
Lift (shrugs): I was never stopping you.
Cosmere Characters Read the Kaladin Chapters
As requested by anon. :)
I once did a post about Stormlight Archive characters reading the Stormlight Archive, which you can find here. This post is similar, except characters are only reading the Kaladin chapters.
(But if you're wondering WHERE Hesina & Lirin are, there're in the first post!)
[Stormlight Spoilers through Rhythm of War!]
1. Adolin
Adolin: So, uh, you and Shallan sure...had a time in those chasms, huh? Kaladin: W-We HAD to huddle together for warmth and stuff! Adolin: [eyes narrowing] Uh-huh. Kaladin: Are you mad? Adolin: Of course I'm mad! Adolin: We've been on TONS of adventures and you've NEVER cuddled ME for warmth! Kaladin: ... Kaladin: That's what you're mad about? Adolin: We are cuddling at the FIRST opportunity we get!
2. Shallan
Shallan: I know that you killed my brother. Shallan: But READING about you killing my brother... Shallan: That was a uniquely horrible experience. Kaladin: I-I had to though. He was killing everyone. Shallan (much too brightly): Oh I know! It's not like I haven't killed my own family members! Shallan: Just saying that if I could still successfully suppress memories, I'd be burying that one! [finger guns] Kaladin: ...This post is giving me whiplash.
3. Elhokar
Elhokar: Um, okay. Wow. Elhokar: So multiple of my guards--including Kaladin Stormin' Stormblessed--really did want to kill me! Elhokar: I was SUCH a bad king that even KALADIN STORMBLESSED wanted to kill me! Elhokar: I'd fall over dead if I hadn't already been MURDERED. Kaladin: I did save you, though. Kaladin: ...The first time, anyway. Kaladin: That has to count for something? Elhokar: Yes, and I was invested enough to see you completely lose it after my actual death so... Elhokar: Let bygones be bygones and all of that. Elhokar: But REALLY. Elhokar: So bad at kinging that even KALADIN STORMBLESSED was in the "kill him" party! Elhokar: Not good for my self-esteem, man. Elhokar: Not good.
4. Bridge 4
Teft: So, lad...that Honor Chasm scene, huh? Sigzil: We knew we were all miserable and angry; we did not know you came so close. Moash: Yeah, you idiot! That was the closest you ever came to dying--by your own hand! Probably the only way you COULD die! Lopen: And it would have meant you didn't meet me, the Lopen! That would have been a tragedy on top of a tragedy! Rock: And no stews either! Skar: What we're trying to say is that we're glad Syl stopped you. Drehy: Yeah. You saved all of us. Kaladin: Guys... Rlain: But also...maybe consider some of that therapy you invented. Lyn: Yeah, for real.
5. Thaidakar
Thaidakar: I should definitely recruit this guy for the Ghostbloods. Thaidakar: Always survives... Never gives up... Collects followers wherever he goes... Thaidakar: This guy could DOUBLE recruitment! Thaidakar: I just need a way to make the Ghostbloods seem honorable...
6. Taravangian
Taravangian: Wow, in a different life, you would have been in Kharbranth, studying medicine. Taravangian: Working at my hosptial. Taravangian: Where I killed people in the basement. Taravangian: ... Taravangian: Very glad that didn't happen.
7. Syl
Syl: I was there, of course. But getting to read it made my realize something... Syl: I literally saved you SO MANY times! Syl: Without me, you never would have made it! Syl: Like, repeatedly! Kaladin: It's true. I needed you. Syl: You may address me as "Syl, my lifesaving savior" forever now. Kaladin: I'm not doing that!
8. Dalinar
Dalinar:Â You never told me the full story. Kaladin:Â About what, sir? Dalinar:Â About how my sending Roshone to a "place where he couldn't do any harm" meant sending him to your actual hometown where he tormented your family and sent your brother to the army where he died. Kaladin:Â Seemed better not to bring it up. Dalinar: I wish that you had. Kaladin: ... Kaladin: I am surprised that this is your takeaway. Not the fact that I, you know, nearly killed your nephew... Dalinar: You did not kill him. You saved him. Dalinar: If we weighed your almost crimes against my actual crimes, there would be no comparison. I am not one to judge someone else's journey. Kaladin: ... Kaladin: This is where we're supposed to add in some humorous joke to end our dialogue, I think. Dalinar: I don't think that's going to happen. Kaladin: No, I guess not.
waiter waiter! more stupidity!
Fight club Ă— text memes I made two years ago and completely forgot about.
DELETE THIS
⸻ when you accidentally send them a nude
⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon x reader (platonically and separately)
⟡ ┆ content warnings. MDNI 18+ ONLY, suggestive language
⟡ ┆ note. second fake text post, biggest thanks to @jayparked for encouraging me to start making these and listening to me complain about tumblr not showing my post in the tags <3
© sungbeams — all rights reserved. i do not give permission to copy, repost, modify or translate my works.
