Touya Angst - Tumblr Posts

Touya: How do you deal with the crushing pressure of everyone else’s expectations?

Keigo: By outrunning them.

Touya: But… what if I’m not fast enough?

Keigo: .. I don’t know.

Keigo: I don’t know.

saw This Post and the first thing that came to mind is "the children yearn for MHA"

Meet the Todorokis

@supernatural-hunter1 @dabisangle

Dabi told you about his family before he did the reveal to the whole of Japan. He told you about how abusive his father was, how his mom did nothing to help, how his siblings didn't understand what it felt like to be in his position and how he hated his youngest brother. From the little information he'd give you, throughout the months of being together, you.cpuld tell there was some serious trauma and his home life and family were anything but loving. Aside from the physical scars, you knew there was some pretty bad mental scarring, even though he tried to play off the hurt and pain by being cocky and nonchalant.

When the heroes found out you were involved with the league and Dabi, especially romantically, you became a top priority for Endeavor to capture and lock away, so that's what happened. When you were caught, you were sent to Tartarus and servailenced 24/7, heavily armed guards would be posted in your room and right outside of it. The room littered with cameras, there was an inch of privacy in that tiny space you now called home. But you knew, you knew Dabi would save you, it would just take a little time, until then, you had to grin and bare it.

It was the same routine everyday, sitting in that small, padded room with cameras covering inch after inch, doing nothing but letting your mind drift away and thinking about the league but especially Dabi. How was he doing, what was he doing, did he miss you, was he even thinking about you? You didn't doubt he was but curiosity was eating at your brain and heart, taking over your thoughts. So, it was a big surprise when you were told you had visitors and the Todorokis, nonetheless. They were all there, Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo, Shoto.... and I guess the man that Touya had to call father was there too. It would've been sweet too have such a messed up family if you didn't know their dirty little secrets and the reasons for visiting in the first place. They all looked empty- heartbroken even, their eyes full of sorrows and regret while Reis eyes leaked salty tears ,only to be comforted by daughter... huh, you wonder if any of them tried to comfort Touya that way. Then again, given the family and their dynamic, you highly doubt it. But, sat in front of this fucked up family as they stared you down and asked invasive questions, you started too understand it wasn't out of love for Touya, it was because of guilt and that just pissed you off a lot more. They weren't trying too right their wrongs, it was because they knew that they were horrible for what they did and they tried too quiet their guilt. So you can't really blame yourself for snapping and going off on that horrible man- thing. That horrible thing. "What would you say you're relationship to my son is." You scowled at Enjis question, a scoff falling from your lips unintentionally but you didn't try too stop it. Your eyes narrowed at that abusive man, only obsessed with the image of the so-called greater-good. He didn't even ask how Touya has been, how much the thought of his old man being praised for being a hero when in actuality, he was more of a villain then most were, ate at Touya every night, kept him up for days- weeks even- on end. "Don't. Call him that, Touya is no longer your son, he is no longer the boy that yearned for your praise and approval, no longer the boy that was willing to kill himself too make you happy. He's better, different now. His eyes have been opened to your disgusting ways of bullshit parenting." It was said more aggressively then you thought it was but, he needed too understand Dabi would never be Touya- their Touya, ever again, he was your Touya now and forever.

Endeavors hands tightened into fists at that, while his wifes eyes dropped, looking away and squeezing tightly as she breathed in a stuttered inhale. "He's still my son, I wasn't the best fath-" there's a quick cut off from you as you shifted in your seat. "No. You weren't even a father to begin with, so don't give me that bullshit speech that you're sorry and you regret what you did because I don't care to listen to it, you can give your traumatized family that bullshit but I won't listen to it." It's spat at him, your voice raising in pitch towards the end of your sentence as you scowled at the false hero. You didn't mean to go on a tangent rant but.. it happened. "You, Enji Todoroki, abused your children. You attempted to use them for your own selfish desires and make up for your pathetic failures and all your overwhelming undoings. You. Are no man- especially not a father. No father would ever. Force their child to take on such a burden, so young in their life. No man would ever put his hands on a woman- much less their wife. The woman who gave you those children in the first place. The woman who took care of them and bathed them, dressed them, read them bed time stories while you chased after a dream you, yourself acknowledged would never happen on your own, so you tried to live through your children. And you, Rei Todoroki. The first time that man put his fucking hands on you or your children, you should've left him. Don't ever let a man put his fucking hands on your children. Ever. You. Are no mother. No mother would throw boiling water on her sons face because she couldn't stand the piece of shit man that she was forced too marry. Your kids are their own people and have their own dreams. The reason the both of you even have kids was selfish from the get-go. I'm happy Touya got out- got away. None of your kids deserved that, but especially Touya. Now leave." By the end of it, Rei was in tears and Enjis teeth were clenched so tight, you thought they were gonna break as his fists were tight and shaking, his knuckles turning pale, ghost white as his eyes became wet and started too sting. The family left quickly after that as the door slammed behind them.

You couldn't wait for Dabi to end Enji Todorokis pathetic life of lies.

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 ━━━ ❥

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ : ɢᴏʀᴇ, ᴀɴɢsᴛ, sᴇʟғ-ʜᴀʀᴍ, ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ, ɪɴsᴇᴄᴜʀɪᴛʏ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴs ᴏғ sᴇx, ᴜsᴇ ᴏғ ᴛᴏʙᴀᴄᴄᴏ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴs ᴏғ sᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ, sᴡᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ.

ᴍɪɴᴏʀs ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛ

ᴘʟᴏᴛ : ɪɴsᴇᴄᴜʀɪᴛʏ sᴇᴇᴍᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏᴡɴ, sᴏ ᴅᴀʙɪ ɢᴏᴇs ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ʜɪs ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴅᴏᴇs ʜᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ, ʜᴇ'ᴅ ᴇɴᴅ ᴜᴘ ɪɴ ʙᴇᴅ, ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀ ʙᴇsɪᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ.

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ : 1.7ᴋ

This was a new low, even for you.

You hadn't moved an inch from your bed ever since insecurity had broken you down. Society had crumbled you into the literal epitome of self-hate itself. It's almost as though the world was mocking you for not reaching up to the beauty standards that it held so high.

Was it a punishment? Or was the world more cruel than he thought? Whatever it was, it broke Dabi's heart, shattering it into pieces. It was one thing if civilization came after him. After all, he was a villain, and he's used to the pain. But you? Oh god.

Joshilyn Jackson once said that God gave us crying so other folks could see when we needed help, and help us. But right now, he was cursing the god for making you feel this pain. If anything, the folks were pushing you down into more self-loathing.

Everything he tried ended up nothing more than a failed mission. He'd get up and try, and when he was unsuccessful, he'd go to the roof and cry. It wasn't just the blood of your self harm that he saw everyday, but also the streaks of crimson down his cheeks.

But it was brutal what they'd done to you.

"Doll, please get up for me."

"I still think you're beautiful sweetheart, you don't need to look like the photoshops in the magazines."

"Come on babydoll, at least spread your legs for me. Let me fuck you numb of this cruel pain."

"You need to eat baby mouse, please. Open up."

"No little one... don't do that. Give Dabi the blade back."

There was nothing but pure desperation dripping in his words. Not a trickle of lust, or anger, or demand, or anything for that matter could be heard other than a helpless pleading tone blending in with despair and sadness.

When all was drained and none was well, he'd lay himself beside you, tracing his rough fingers over the cicatrixes that marked itself on your body. Your empty tears would drip on his clothes, mingling with your self harm blood. Though by now, it was normal to him.

Finally, sighing an exhale from his lips, he sat up on the covers. His scarred hand reached up to wipe his droopy tears, cleansing his face of any lingering vulnerability there was still on. He eyes your hollow body for a minute or two before sighing, sitting you up on his lap.

"C'mon dollface... time to get up," he whispered softly to you as he brushed your tears away. "You want something to eat?"

You shook your head softly, staring into abyss. Eating meant weight gain. Weight gain would mean fat. Fat meant ugly. Not like you weren't already. You had self-harm scars practically littered on your thighs and stomach. Something which you hated. But Dabi loved.

His calloused fingers stroked your fresh wounds, feeling the dried blood under his finger pads like bumpy rocky roads of crimson. The scars spoke for themselves when you couldn't, something which he adored while staring at you naked in bed when he'd fuck you.

What you saw as disgusting, he saw as attractive. And what he saw as disgusting, you saw as attractive. He would have been quite the hypocrite to be telling you to embrace your scars while he struggled with his own, so that's why he never did.

His turquoise balls of vision looked down at you, tracing over your features. Every curve, every contour, every imperfection, almost as though he was trying to memorize it. His lips found your cheek, sucking it a small kiss for a reaction.

"Tell me something." He said, his voice low and gruff, with a tinge of vulnerability.

Your hollow eyes leisurely scanned the room until it landed on him, staring at the reflection of cold beauty.

"I wanna fall asleep."

"Fall asleep? Like for a couple hours? Cuz I have sleeping pills for that if you–"

"I meant forever." Your voice spoke, a bit more softer yet firm.

He paused for a moment, his fingers still tracing over your scars. It wasn't... unexpected of you to be suicidal. In fact, he couldn't blame you for wanting to kill yourself, just to get away from this world's harsh criticism. Yet he didn't like the idea of you going to the Reaper.

"Wanna meet your maker, huh doll?"

"Just wanna get away from here..."

"I can tell... can't blame you for wanting to end it all."

He watched your hand slip away to the blade on the nightstand, wrapping your fingers around it. Instinctively, his lips pressed to your shoulder, giving you a kiss as you dragged the blade along your flesh, drawing new lines of blood on your thighs.

His hand went to grab your wrist. He didn't stop you though, he was just making sure you didn't cut yourself too deep. He knew you needed this, to let your emotions loose from the chaos thundering inside your mind.

It was ever so a surprise to you that he wasn't pissed at you for having suicidal thoughts. Then again, he wasn't pissed at you for even self-harming. He never said a word. He just left you in the bathroom until it was finished, and then came back to clean you up.

It made you ponder some nights, why was it he did that? Why was it he would walk out without a word after seeing you tear-streaked, sitting on the bathroom floor with gashes of blood oozing out, only to come back with a first aid kit and patch you up without any anger.

It was bugging you out, and you needed an answer.

"Touya...?" you started cautiously, putting the blade back on the nightstand.

"Hmm?" he hummed in response, completely unfazed by the use of his given name.

By now he was used you calling his real name. It sounded soothing, slipping so sweetly from your lips as though it was made to be said like that.

"Why do you never stop me from cutting myself?"

Again, Dabi paused for a second, thinking his words over before replying back.

"Would you stop if I told you to?"

A wave of silence filled the room, drowning you in his words. Would you if he asked?

"No... I wouldn't."

"Exactly dollface... so why should I stop you?" he spoke simply, pressing a kiss to your nape. "I know it's a coping mechanism... a pretty fucked up one too at that. But it helps nevertheless, yeah? I'd be a hypocrite to tell you for cutting when I burn myself too."

Your eyes shot up at his words, a tinge of confusion and surprise breaking through your hollow demeanor.

"You... you burn yourself?"

"Yeah, I do. To feel."

"To feel... to feel what?"

He shrugged, holding you close, your back pressed to his chest and chin rooted to your locks.

"Just to feel."

"Just to feel?" you repeated his words, slightly annoyed by his vague responses.

He chuckled at your slight irritation, pressing a kiss to your head.

"Yes doll. To feel. Anything but numb."

You looked up at him, watching his stoic expression falter slightly. A flicker of vulnerability cracked through his cold demeanor, alerting you of his broken self.

"You gonna tell me off for it mouse?"

"Of course not. I'd be a humbug if I did."

He raised an eyebrow at your choice of words, chuckling mockingly at them.

"Humbug huh? Where'd you learn that from?"

"A book." you replied, slightly confused.

He scoffed, tangling his fingers in your locks and stroking them between his fingers.

"Interesting book..."

You stayed silent at that, reeking his presence and touch. For a man like him, he must obviously feel insecure too.

"Do you ever hate the way you look?"

"All the time babydoll."

He said it as though it was nothing. Like it meant nothing. The casualty nearly infuriated you.

"Have you ever wanted to kill yourself?"

"Yes I have."

That made you stop again, staring up at him.

"You're just as broken as I am..."

"You have no idea dollface." he drawled, chuckling at your words.

He tugged his teeth softly on your lobe, gauzing out a little whine from you. That was the best he'd gotten from you ever since you'd shut down.

"Doll... I want you to listen to me. And I want you to listen good. Life is gonna be a bitch to you yeah? They're gonna push you down with beauty standards... expectations... of what you have to be. Of what you need to be. But I want you to know, that despite everything we've been through... I think you're perfect just the way you are..."

He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. He could already see your eyes getting slightly glossy from his reassurance, which earned a smirk from him before he continued.

"...and I don't want you to just take my word for it. I want you to believe in it yourself. To feel it for yourself. I want you to be able to look in the mirror and appreciate yourself for once. Even the flaws... I know it's probably very hypocritical of me since I don't follow it, but I'm trying too mouse. Just hang in there for me yeah? We'll get through this together."

A tinge of pink flushed your cheeks and nose, looking up at his turquoise eyes, which were once a sign of danger, now melted in a form of softness and vulnerability. You reached your pinky down, locking it in his.

"I promise... Touya..."

He snorted, letting out a sardonic chuckle.

"Pink promise huh, little one? What are you, five?"

"Don't ruin it Dabi."

"Alright geez."

He let out a last chuckle before interlocking his pinky with yours, a smirk stitched on his lips.

"Say doll... which of our struggles do you wanna tackle first?"

"One that breaks everyone down like us."

He smirked, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek. A tiny squeal left your lips, giving him an opportunity to savor your old self, which was back to normal.

"Oh yeah...? And what would that be?"

"It's called Insecurity."